I Don't Know About That - Lord of the Rings with Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

In this episode, the team discusses The Lord of the Rings with hosts of the new podcast "The Friendship Onion" and the actors who portray Merry and Pippin in The Lord of the Rings franchise, Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd. Follow Dom on Instagram @dom_monaghan_ and Billy @boydbilly Make sure to check out their new podcast The Friendship Onion on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts and catch episodes on their Youtube page.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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And I don't know about that with Jim Jefferies. How's he mess that one up? Yeah, well, this is the thing. I know what you're thinking. The left is on the left foot. The right is on the right foot. But I'm talking about their political views.

Oh, right. Yes. Like, is the right foot a bit left wing because he's doing everything? Or is he just like, ah, I have to pull this fucking left foot up

by its bootstraps. Why should I have to do all the work while this one gets all the rewards? Yeah, they're going to have to tune in to find out. Yeah.

Tune in. I always thought that if there was a buddy cop drama and it was my left foot and my right foot with the two characters, the right foot would be the hard-nosed cop who does everything and the left foot would just be like, and I solved the crime. I helped. I keep balance.

Wait a second. I like how you just gloss over if I ever had a buddy cop drama. Like as if it's rush hour or something. I've pitched it. I've pitched it many times. It's called left foot, right foot. They have to solve a crime. And the left foot's like one of those detectives that has a cane

and he just sort of shows up. He's quite smart and everything because he always just sits back. And the right foot's like one of those detectives that has a cane and he just sort of shows up and he's quite smart and everything because he always just sits back and the right foot's the muscle who kicks shit

yeah he kicks people he's the muscle yeah Daniel Day-Lewis plays this yeah and then at the end there's a ball

that needs kicking and the right foot's injured and the left foot just comes together and fucking does it yeah the heartwarming moment

the heartwarming moment the heartwarming moment the left foot I did goal the crime has been solved the crime is solved with a goal by the way

this is a feature length movie he dies of doubt I wanted to I wanted to do it as a short and pitch it to Sundance as a short movie but then as my career

got bigger and I started to know more famous actors Russell Crowe's playing the left foot and Brad Pitt's playing the right foot oh wow that's cool short movie. But then as my career got bigger and I started to know more famous actors, Russell Crowe's playing the left foot and Brad Pitt's playing the right foot. Oh, wow. That's cool, yeah. Kelly, did you say one of them dies of gout?

Yeah. Do you die from gout? I don't know. No, no, no. His left foot does. Diabetes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is gout?

Gout's a crystallization of the joints, and it comes from rich foods such as, I might be wrong, Chris, but it's your joints. It's inside your joints. If you eat a lot of cheese, drink a lot of beer, other alcohol will also contribute. There's always like, I remember like a few alcoholic comics in Britain who would come in and they're like, oh, fucking hell, me gout's playing up. It must be the cheeseburger I had.

There's that fucking downing pints of Guinness and you're like ah the cheeseburger did it to your joints I wonder if I've had gout Google says it's a form of arthritis and it's also called gouty arthritis oh gouty arthritis it used to be the rich man's disease

it was like kings and stuff like King Henry and stuff because it's like you're eating like mutton covered in whatever and then you know that's how you get it so when you have too much uric acid and it crystallizes the deposits in the joints

yeah and it's meant to be when it's bad it's meant to be fucking agony yeah my friend has it and it's like can't walk

can't do anything but it's it mostly starts I think in your knees and your elbows connected to the right foot yeah yeah

Gout would be the sequel yeah it would be left foot right right foot, the detective drama. Now, I know there's someone on their computer right now making this show for us. And what happens in the second movie, because we have to find some pull, one of them gets gout.

Yeah. Somebody make a sizzle reel out there, and Jim will sell it for you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, one of them starts wearing a high heel and finds its real self. That's part three. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, one of them starts wearing a high heel and finds its real self. That's part three. Yeah, that's good.

That's good. Yeah, there's so many places you can go with it. There's so many things you can do with feet. Yeah, and left foot, right foot. They're detectives. Yeah. And then you have like outtakes where they're just getting foot massage. And you're just, that's a good one.

Like happy ending. Yeah, yeah. Now are they wearing socks and shoes? Yeah. Will you explore all that? Footwear. Yeah, Now are they wearing socks and shoes? Yeah. We explore all that. Footwear. Yeah, they gotta wear clothes. There'd be a scene where they're trying to get along with each other, and one of them puts on like a

paisley or a checkered sock like this, right? And the other one goes, you don't mess with the right foot socks! Like that. That would be another one. Yeah, and they wear different shoes. Yeah, for sure. Crocs on the left foot. Yeah, he's a slob, the right foot. The left foot's always just like in a nice leather shoe

because he doesn't have to do anything athletic. No, that's the right foot. No, the right foot kicks ass. Yeah, the right foot kicks ass. I thought he was the distinguished gentleman. No, no, he's the cop. He's like Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon, the right foot. Yeah, he's all over it.

He's had some hard things in his life that he can't quite get over. He's got a hole in his sock, big toe sticking through. Yeah, that horned him, a bunion. But then I thought left foot was kind of like the fuck up, who was like, I did things. No, no, no, he's just uncoordinated. I think that's him trying to do an old man voice and not a stupid voice. Oh, no, it was also mentally challenged.

It was a mentally challenged old man. I got you out of the hole. Jump right back in. Very refined. Alright Jack, speaking of things Jim might know. We're doing a segment that we all know called Now I Know About That Maybe.

We just have pins and needles. So I'm going to quiz you on a previous episode to see if you remember anything. Why not? And this episode is birds. Episode 48 with expert Scott Whittle. We didn't do that too long ago. Yeah.

It was like five episodes ago. The bones are hollow. Thank you very much. Good night. I left that one out because you got that correct in the episode. First question. Yeah. Do all birds lay eggs?

No. They do. That was a 50-50 one. It feels like a trick question though, so I get it. Biologically, they can all lay eggs, but there's that one bird and she wants to lay eggs and she sees all of her friends lay

eggs and she shows up to parties and they go, when are you going to lay some eggs fuck off and she just drinks her Shiraz in the corner that's a good children's book yeah it's Pixar right there

it's Bernie the Baron Bird alright now this next question this has been an answer to a previous question okay what is the earliest known bird Richard Dawkins yeah it was a Richard Dawkins thing it wasn't a pterodactyl I got that wrong before to a previous question. Okay. What is the earliest known bird?

Richard Dawkins. Okay. I remember, yeah, it was a Richard Dawkins thing. It wasn't the pterodactyl. I got that wrong before. It was, it was a Richard Dawkins bird.

Starts with an A. The Arbitronian. The Archaeopteryx. Yeah. It was never in a million years. I can remember that. As soon as that, I've forgotten it now.

I don't remember hearing it the first time. I honestly couldn't repeat it back right now. Archaeopteryx. Archaeopteryx. Archaeopteryx. Apiarcharis. Very good. Very good.

You got it. You got it. First try. Next question. Yeah. How long would your wings have to be so you could fly? I remember that. Like, there's a calculation.

Massive. Massive? Massive. I think his answer was like, you did some calculations. You said three times as long. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's even longer than that. It's like, it's maybe 20 times longer than my arm span.

Which would be? Which arm span? Okay, so my arm span is six feet. 120 feet. And it's 120 feet. That's correct. Wow. All right. I think. And it's 120 feet. That's correct. Wow. I think that's each wing as well.

What was the name of the bird again? The Archeopteryx. Very good. Archeopteryx. Why are humans unable to reproduce bird songs? Copyright. Yes, correct. We didn't talk about that one, but that one is correct.

That was goddamn Hollywood big wings. I tried to get some bird songs into legit, and it just cost too much money. They came in with the publishing. They own it all. It's because they have two voice boxes and can do both at the same time. Right.

We could just get two people. Right. One to do one. There you go. But again, the copyrights. The copyrights don't really matter. Final question, what is a cloaca? Say it again?

Cloaca? Is it in a sentence? Ouch, my cloaca hurts. Yeah, spell it out like a spelling bee. C-L-O-A-C-A, cloaca. From the Latin? It is probably Latin, yes. No, you have to say,

you don't say from the Latin. You say, what's the origin of the word? They say Latin. Oh, I didn't know. From the Latin? I didn't know there were other origins.

I thought all we had was Latin. You're saying there's other old languages? From the Latin, cloaca. Cloacas. Other reptiles. It's an anxiety and I've already Latin cloaca. Cloacas. Other reptiles. Is that it again?

I've already forgotten. Cloaca. Other reptiles have cloacas. Oh, it's an egg pouch. A bird's not a reptile, though. I know. Oh, my God. Saying we learned about these in the reptile episode, too.

Yeah, I know. A cloaca is basically the hole that does it all. It poops, it pees, it reproduces. Yeah, yeah. Egg pouch. One hole for everything. What about the mouth?

There aren't many birds getting Eiffel Towered out there. Well, you got one out of five correct. All right. Pretty good.

For a bonus question, say the name of the first bird. Bit of improvement there. Something to work on. Cloaca. Yeah, yeah. All right. there. Something to work on. Cloaca. Yeah. All right.

Well, time for- I don't know the Alba whatever. I can't remember. Archaeopteryx. Who cares? Yeah, that's true. Who cares? No, I never thought about that.

We should just finish every episode with like, who cares? That should be our after show on Patreon, the who cares? We've learned all these things and we've already shaked them out of our head because who cares? That's a good point. All right. All right, let's do some ads because who cares? I said it five times. I kept interrupting.

I was like, time for some. Okay, keep going. Yeah, that's a good joke. Yeah, time. And then Kelly's just like, now some ads. I'm like, fuck. Maybe you have to have some confidence. I want to give a shout.

My brother really likes the ad reads. I don't think he listens to the rest of the podcast. He fast forwards to the ad reads. He got so many comments on the Tishy ad reads. He just listens to the ad reads. Is it Scott or Dick? Yeah, Scott loves the ad reads. He was talking, he goes, oh, I just love the ad reads.

He goes, I love when you get surprised when they give free shipping. What? What? It can't be. Wait a second. Jack, is this right? This says 90. Does that mean 90 dollars?

I'll tell you the trick to a good ad read is don't know what you're reading about until it gets to it. So you go in blind and then you get all the excitement as well. So I should not have written the titles at the top. No, no, no. Is there something interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals? Okay, so I already know now it's not Hello Tushy. Is there something interfering with your happiness

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Yeah, I'm going to say almost worldwide. Cuba, the internet's not very good. If you're in North Korea and you're like, I'm a bit depressed about the dictatorship, you can't get help. Yep. Thanks for listening. You can log into your account anytime and send a message to your counsellor. You'll get timely and thoughtful responses,

plus you can schedule weekly video and phone sessions so you won't ever have to sit in that uncomfortable waiting room, you know, the room where you press the button and then you sit there with the other person. You go, I wonder what he's saying about or she's saying about, as with traditional therapy. BetterHelp is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it free and easy to change

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I listen to Conan and he uses BetterHelp. Does he? Mm-hmm. We all need help. Here's one. It says, Sarah is super caring and listens super carefully. Yeah. No, no.

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In fact, so many people have been using BetterHelp. They are recruiting additional counselors in all 50 states. I don't know if that's 50 states of America or 50 emotional states. Because you can do it worldwide. I wonder if people in Australia, because we have a lot of Australian listeners, are going, oh, I might like an American therapist. They're better than the Australian therapist. And the webpage they have over here called No Worries.

Walk it off. Don't hear you. Join No Worries. HakunaMatata.com. Yeah. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and I don't know about that. Listeners get 10% off.

Whoop-de-doop. Off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash IDK. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Why are boys and girls listening to the podcast? Hey, parents that are letting their kids do this. Parent better. But since you're not, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

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And even then, that's the stuff they're trying to push on you. I like the stuff at the back that are in the window. You can't get it. And even then, that's the stuff they're trying to push on you. I like the stuff at the back that are in the boxes. We've all seen a promo code field taunt us at checkout. They're always like this, have you got a code? You can save some money. And you're like, ah, I wish I did. If only there was a way. Is there ever a way?

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You get to check out, Jack. You get to check out and you're like, there's a promo code and I want to look like Dave Grohl's site. Oh, good. And you're like, how do I put this code on? Because I've got to get that DG necklace. Yeah. When you check out, you don't have to do anything.

The honey button will drop down and all you have to do is apply coupons. Wow. Press apply coupons. I don't know what the other options they give you are. Don't apply coupons. Yeah, yeah, apply coupons. Wow. Just apply coupons. I don't know what the other options they give you are. Don't apply coupons. Yeah, yeah, apply coupons. Wait a few seconds. As Honey searches the coupons, it can find for that site.

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My wife is pregnant, so we've been buying cribs and gliders and baby blankets and swaddle things and everything. Very expensive. Yep. Adds up. I have saved a ton by using honey. Tons of money. Yeah, that's fine.

I just put in the honey coat. I think this baby's making me money. Probably. Thanks to honey. Thanks, honey. I can't. Thanks, honey. You're right by me honey if you don't already have honey you could be straight up missing out on free savings it's

literally free literally free and installs in a few seconds and by getting it you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this podcast i'd never recommend anything I don't use. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Why do we never do ads about bananas? Never. Because you don't like bananas. I don't like bananas.

I don't like fucking bananas. You couldn't even pretend to like a banana. I don't know. I had to look at some of them. I look at all of them. Why? I never look at them. Okay, I never do adverts for bananas.

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get honey for free at joinhoney.com slash idk that's joinhoney.com slash idk alright that was the ad reads just before we start in

my Australian tour is just when I'm pre-sale this podcast comes out a couple of weeks later the whole pre-sale, this podcast comes out a couple of weeks later, the whole pre-sale ticket sold out in eight hours. I was super worried after COVID whether anyone would ever see me again. So thank you, Australia. And we've added new shows, two new shows to Sydney,

one new show to Brisbane, one new show to Melbourne, which we didn't think we'd have the time to do that, an extra show in Adelaide and an extra show in Perth. So now the regular tickets are going on sale. It's going to be a lot of gigs, but I'm really looking forward to going down under and doing it. I've never called my own country down under. Fuck, I'm a fraud.

Such a sellout. How dare I? G'day, mates back in Australia. Thanks for seeing me. Anyway, let's start the actual show Okay, let me introduce our guests today Please welcome to the show Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd Hello guys, hello

Dom Dom, I'm sorry We all know what's going on here Let's play the game Jack, play the song Oh, you still want it? Yeah, you want to guess what they're doing? Yeah, we want to do it.

We have a little theme song still? Yeah, one moment. Jack's not even ready. Thanks a lot, Jack. Yes, though. Yes, though. Judging a book by its cover. We are very clearly going to be talking about the TV show Lost today.

No, it's Lord of the Rings. How exciting. Lord of the Rings. Let me properly introduce you. Dom, you want to go by Dom, right? I'm sorry. Dom Monaghan is a British international film and television star who starred as the Hobbit Mary in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

He was also in Lost, Flash Forward, Star Wars, The Rise of Skywalker, and Dominic is also, Dom, sorry, is the host and producer of the Emmy-nominated show Wild Things on the Travel Channel and BBC. Billy Boyd, born in Glasgow, Scotland, where he began his acting and music career. He was also in Lord of the Rings, played Pippin in Lord of the Rings, and he also wrote and sang the song Edge of Night and The Return of the King and The Last Goodbye in The Hobbit, Battle of the Five Armies, so double threat.

He also was a master and commander of the far side of the world with your buddy, Russell. So next, or actually today when this podcast comes out May 18th, they have a podcast of their own, the friendship onion. Join your favorite Hobbits, friends and co-stars,

Billy Boyd and Dom Monaghan. As they take a look back at their time on Lord of the Rings featuring interviews with cast and crew. What's that? The friendship onion debuts on May 18th. You can listen to the trailer now and subscribe to the Friendship Onion wherever you get your podcasts and view the full length

episodes on the Friendship Onion YouTube channel. All right. Thank you for being on the show and I don't know if there's anything else you want to expound upon after reading those bios or talk about your podcast. I think it was fantastic. That absolutely summed me up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We got longer bios, but we got an hour here. I worked in the UK for a very long time. These accents feel like home to me. I'm very, very excited. Nice, good. Okay, so I'm going to ask Jim everything he thinks he knows about Lord of the Rings. And then at the end of that,

you guys can grade them zero through 10, 10 being the best on how you think he did. Kelly's going to grade them on confidence. I'm going to grade them on et cetera. And, uh, 21 through 30, these,

this will help you. Gollum. I don't know. That's, that's the best score you can get, but I mean, he's pretty famous. Yeah.

Yeah. He's pretty famous. 11 through 20. Wormtongue. You know who that is? No, probably not. Zero through 10. Sauron's Rotom.

All right. All right, let's start. Who wrote the Lord of the Rings book series? J.K. Rowling. Tolkien. Tolkien wrote that. I watched the movie with a guy from About a Boy in it as well, and I know that Tolkien was actually, I think he grew up

and he lived around Birmingham. So the character should be going, all right there, Frodo. But they don't talk like that for whatever reason, which is good because that would be a far different film with a whole lot of brummies walking around chatting about a ring. Oh, no. Can you name any of the books or the titles of the movie? Fellowship of the Ring, Return of the King,

and the one in the middle, which is Empire Strikes Back. Empire Strikes Back, yep. Do you know when the books were published or how long did they take to write? I think the books were published, I want to say like around the 1930s, somewhere around there. I don't know. And how long did they take to write?

How does anyone know that? They do. Like Tolkien was just like this, I finished this one this morning. I'm going to get this one done before tea. No, I think probably it took him a decade to write these things. Who directed the movies? Fuck, the New Zealand bloke. Fuck.

God, everyone knows this. Rhys Darby? No, it's not Rhys. It's not Rhys Darby. Rhys Darby was like, all right there. We all have to stand over here. What's his name? Did King Kong and all that.

We all know who he is. You don't know who he is. He's the guy. His weight fluctuates. He's like bigger. And then like you see him. He's doing a wonderful documentary at the moment on the Let It Be albums.

He's even done a lot about them. The Let It Be albums. I'm really looking forward to that documentary he's doing on the Beatles. It's meant to come out, but it got held back from COVID. I think it's on the Disney+. You know where they were shot, right? Yeah, they were shot in New Zealand. Yeah, yeah.

And what's the basic plot? And the only reason they shot them in New Zealand is so that, you know, the bigger parts, like what are those big, the orgs, right? Not the orgs. What are they called? I don't know. What are they called? You know, that's, well, anyway,

they just use regular New Zealand women and they didn't have to use any makeup or anything and they were ready to go. You are such an asshole. I wonder why you don't do well in New Zealand. What's the basic plot? Just sum up pretty like in a couple sentences.

The basic plot is they have to get a ring that rules us all. The ring's very powerful. They have to get that back to the lava in Mordor and destroy it

so there can be sort of peace in the universe again. Okay, name five characters other than Frodo and Gandalf and then Merry and Pippin. Bilbo Baggins. Yeah, that's good.

Fucking, what are the Lando Bloom's character bloody called? There's the dwarf fella with the axe. What's his name? Oh, I know this one. Dumbledore. Why do you keep going? Yeah, you know,

I know the movies. I've seen the movies. I can't remember the names. I just introduced our guests. Do you remember their characters' names? Pippin. Yep.

And, rude. Yeah, fuck me. So this is the whole idea behind the podcast that people don't recall anything.

I must have seen these movies probably four or five times each. Yeah, and you've been to Hobbiton. I went there with you. I must have seen these movies probably four or five times each. Yeah, and you've been to Hobbiton. I went there with you. I've been to Hobbiton. People know if you watch my stand-up that I have a passion

for the little things that look like they should be big things, and I like to stand next to those things and act like I'm a giant. And so I could not pass up the chance to go to Hobbiton. It's a hell of a day. You go around, and it's where they all film it. It's a guy that owned a farm in New Zealand and I heard that they just flew a helicopter in and just chatted to the guy.

We'll talk about that later. Okay, you know what race Frodo is, right? Yeah, he's a hobbit. Okay, what are other races that exist in Lord of the Rings? You've got dwarves. You've got elves. You've got, what are the fucking bloody

people who, the big the bloody the people who the big monsters the New Zealand women I was talking about what are they I forgot I can't remember that Kiwis

yeah okay great you're doing great alright a couple more questions and we'll talk to our guests what is an ent in the movies we're definitely in there

an ent is that a character it's a type of it's a species of character it's an entity it's it's a different type of okay

alright what are the Nazgul the Nazgul are the the guys the baddies that ride on the horses and they come in the night

and they can sort of see you as a shadowy figure and you they hunt and hunt they're the Terminators of the Lord of the Rings. That's it? Yeah, man. I'll ask one more question.

Well, then we'll go over some other stuff with Dom and Billy. How does Lord of the Rings end? Well, they throw the ring into the pit in Mordor and Gollum falls to get it and he tries to grab it. And then that wonderful bit where he grabs it in his hand and he's just in bliss as he hits the lava, just like, oh, yeah. And then Frodo and Samwise Ganji put him in the fucking list of people right there, Samwise Ganji.

So Frodo gets picked up by a bird and he flies off and then everyone asks the same question, why didn't they just fucking fly on the birds the whole time? That was a long walk when they could have gotten on the back of a bird. They're busy. Yeah. And then they go back to Hobbiton and they're just like, ah, that was all right.

And as with all heroes, people are like, oh, you've been away, have you? And he's like, yeah, yeah. I've been saving the fucking universe. I've been away. What about our two guests? What happened to them? They both lived. They both lived because they're here.

And I think everyone sort of had kids and stuff. Everyone was, came back and they had like some Hobbit kids. The third movie ends with black and white stills of each character. Yeah. One of them looked at Frodo and said, frankly, my hobbit, I don't give a damn. That was the end, right?

All right. Dom and Billy, thanks for sitting there patiently. How do you think Jim did, like zero through ten? Ten being the best on his knowledge of War of the Rings. I think he was around about a five. Oh, I'd give him a seven. I thought he was pretty good, yeah. I think he should around about a five oh I'd give him a seven I thought he was pretty good yeah I think he should have got Ents

these guys they were involved with the Ents at a certain point tell me what an Ent is what's an Ent? it's from the middle movie that you couldn't remember the name of it so maybe you actually missed the middle movie yeah

and you just never really got that into your head maybe couldn't remember the name of it so maybe you actually missed the middle movie yeah no just never really got that into your head maybe i i remember when that was when gandalf became gandalf the white and he falls down the thing and he grabs the sword and he traces out the dragons because i was very excited because i've been waiting for that film for so long and i was living in london at the time and i went to the movies by myself and it's actually one of the probably the only time when gandalf grabs that sword and chases after the dragon i stood up and went yeah all by myself like a simpleton and i just like i'd seen like a midnight session just after being at the comedy store or something like that i was overly excited all right so exactly the same way i thought that was the best start of a movie

that i've ever seen yeah i was in it, and we had no idea that it started that way. Brilliant. That's right, give me another point, Peter Jackson, fucking hell, tip of my thumb. Peter Jackson, of course, it's Peter Jackson. It was just really getting on me. I was like, you know when you have the name,

of course I know who Peter Jackson is. All your facts are correct about him. His weight fluctuation. Weight fluctuation was a little personal, but I mean, geez. No, it does because when Peter... He meets a lot of people. When Peter Jackson does a documentary, you go, oh, he's down again. Good for him. I like Peter Jackson.

So Dom or Bill, either one of you, what is an ent then? Well, an ent is a type of character, creature in Lord of the Rings. Essentially a kind of character, creature in Lord of the Rings, essentially a kind of moving, walking, talking tree of sorts. One of them famous being Treebeard, who's kind of a little bit of a leader in that community.

And he saves us from being killed by orcs. And then we end up hanging out with him and destroying Saruman's castle halfway through. That's what I do every time I do my films. I'm in an ant and just go Saruman's castle. Am I correct it was the second film you guys spent most of that film in an ant in a tree right? Walking around.

Yeah. I don't know if they were an actual tree. No. There would be green screens and what have you. What were you guys, I mean they had to create something you guys were sitting in, obviously, right? Yeah, it was the biggest crop ever made for a movie at that time. It was a huge sort of 15 foot moving tree.

And they put us, you know, they sat us up in the branches and we'd be up there all day. And I don't know if you remember them. I do. When they first put be up there all day and I don't know if you remember them. I do. When they first put us up there, we're on bicycle saddles but nowhere to put our feet. So if you could imagine you're hanging on a bicycle saddle with your legs just hanging for like 12 hours a day. Yeah. That sounds awful.

Very sore on your arse, really. Yeah, the arse. Yeah. And your legs are probably just dead legged all day. Yeah. It was very uncomfortable, but they fixed it after a couple of weeks. Now I heard, and correct me if I'm wrong, it was something like eight years or something to film all the movies.

Am I wrong in saying that? Yeah, you are wrong. You're quite dramatically wrong, Jim. Okay. It was almost two years. Oh, it feels like eight in New Zealand. Am I right? No, look, I take the piss out of New Zealand a bit being an Australian

and all that type of stuff, but it is a lovely country. It's very picturesque and all that type of stuff. But signing on for two years to do a movie, that seems like you must have gone into that like you'd have a fair idea. It's a very famous book. But were you ever worried that, fuck, am I wasting two years of my life? What if this film's a flop and then two years I've been doing this? I mean, I was only 23 at the time.

So I thought, well, if I turned 25 and it was a wasted couple of years, it's still only just beginning really. Yeah, you know, fair enough. Yeah. Well, there you go. And you guys, so we went to Hobbiton. We went to Hobbiton. Kelly's been there.

I've been there. Jack hasn't. He's a loser. So where do you guys stay? I mean, around there, there's no city or anything. Did they build something there for you guys to live in? When we were in Hobbiton?

Yeah. We moved up. Well, we were based in Wellington. That's where the base does because Peter, his studio was there. So all the sound stages, whenever we were doing green screen or little sets, we'd be just outside of Wellington.

But then we flew all over the country. And I think when we were in Hobbiton, we stayed in... Near Raglan. Yeah, near Raglan. Near one of the longest left-handed point breaks in the world near Raglan yeah near Raglan near one of the longest left handed point breaks in the world

Raglan Hamilton that's where we stayed after that that was where the musical came from no you performed there I've been there as well

I gotta tell you Wellington for all the bagging I do on New Zealand Wellington is a cracking town beautiful it's a cracking town. Beautiful.

It's a stunning town, and it's a hell of a good night out. Really good night out if you're hitting the piss. Where did you play when you played there, Jim? Oh, I was heavily drinking when I played Wellington. I don't remember. It was like Wellington. It was a theater. It was like a 1,500-seat theater or something. You were in Hamilton.

I remember. I don't remember. I don't remember at seat theater or something. You were in Hamilton. I remember. I don't remember. I don't remember at all. Did you ever have to do anything in Invercargill? Yes. Oh, really? And you're still smiling. Good for you.

Invercargill. There was nowhere I went in New Zealand that I didn't love. I thought it was an amazing country. Brilliant place. I thought it was brilliant. All right. A amazing country. Yeah, brilliant place. I thought it was brilliant. All right, agreed to differ. But Harborton's so freaking beautiful. Oh, no, the whole country's beautiful.

I'm just taking the piss. It is a beautiful place. I find Invercargill was the one where they gave me mutton bird. Remember that? It was like instead of having like eggs benedict and having the ham or having eggs florentine with the thing or the salmon or something like that, I love a poached egg with some hollandaise sauce and then they said you can have some mutton bird and i was like this they go i go what's mutton bird they go oh it's a

bird that tastes a bit like fish like that and i was like all right i'm fucking in like that it was the most disgusting thing i've ever eaten and then the waitress comes up and goes, yeah, no one here eats it either. They had to get rid of their stock. It was one of those moments that I kept on going to Forest, you have to taste this, Forest. You have to taste it. And you did, and it was not good. It tasted like a fish rolled in a Nash tray. Yeah, yeah.

It was really good. Oh, yeah, it was like a smoked. It was not good. And then you have those things. You have those things where they roll, they get a bit of bread, they put cheese in it, they roll it in a circle, and then they slice it up into discs and they call it the sushi of New Zealand. What are those?

Cheese rolls. Cheese rolls. Did you have a cheese roll? I think we had a cheese roll. I think I did. Yeah. Yeah, they were right then. They're good, yeah.

Yeah, they were right. Like, they go, do you like it? And I'm like, it's cheese and bread. Winner. Winner. All over the world. Winner. Winner. All over the world. Winner. Jim said, Fellowship of the Ring, Return of the King.

He got that. What's the movie title he missed in the middle? Two Towers. Two Towers. Yeah. Fuck, I know. Have you read any of the books, Jim? I have read The Hobbit.

I haven't read The Lord of the Rings books. I know that I've got a friend who's mad about the books and allegedly there's like some character that was left out of the movie who used to come in and just do a poem every now and again or sing a shanty song or something. What was that? What was that character and why was

he left out? That's Tom Bombadil, right? Yep. Tom Bombadil. He's left out because the Hobbits hang out with him for years and there would be no way that you could put that into a film and continue to have the drama. We basically hang out in a forest with him for years, right? Yeah. Pete said when we started, he said, once you leave the Shire, then the ring goes on a path all the way to be destroyed and it has to keep moving. You know, you never stop. And the whole part of Tom Bombadil is they all take a break in nature. And as you say, they do poetry and songs and they just, you know, get the energy for the next part.

And they said, there's no way you can have that in the film. energy for the next part and they said there's no way you can have that in the film now it would have been nice to have a song every now and again just to break up the mood Billy's saying he's saying Lord of the Harbour

but I want like Gollum to sing I can't live without you I can't live just looking at the ring the first time I ever attempted to watch Lord of the Rings I was with my crush in high school

and we made out through it and I just remember thinking like this movie's so long because we'd be making out for the longest time and then it would like

I'd be like what's happening now and he'd be like oh it's the middle of the movie I'm like how we've been making out for an hour now

so some romantic music would have been good don't forget to submit your homework tomorrow I have to mark it I got an A So some romantic music would have been good. Don't forget to submit your homework tomorrow. I have to mark it. I got an A. Yeah, maybe they can make that in a montage for that character.

Do you know when the books were published? Do you guys go, I know you guys are going to talk about the movies much, but ask the question. So I'm not, I think it was in the 30s. I mean, the game's a kind of rollercoaster-type energy in the 60s movement, but I think Jim was right. I think it came out closer to the 30s or 40s. I would have thought, is it not certainly after the Second World War? Because I think Tolkien was in the Second World War,

and that's why a lot of people thought that the Frodo-Sam characters were a sort of throwback to the English officer and his wingman. You know, they came from the Second World War. So I would have guessed more like late 40s, 40s, 50s.

Fellowship of the Rings has 1954, Two Towers. Oh, there you go. It was after the war. Okay, so who directed the movies? You finally got it, Jim. Fellowship of the Rings has 1954 Two Towers 55 there we go it was after the war it was after the war okay so who directed the movies

you finally got it Jim Peter Jackson Peter Jackson you didn't get the point I don't think yeah I didn't get the point but I knew Peter Jackson by the way

The Hobbit was 1937 one time when I was working at NBC I was trying to get off the lot and I took a wrong turn in my car my car was parked

we were making the Jeffrey show the show that never saw the light of day off the lot and I took a wrong turn in my car. My car was parked. We were making the Jeffrey show on this show that never saw the light of day, by the way. And, uh, and we, we took a turn and I got stuck in between two of the trams on the lot. And I was driving a car into that fucking King Kong thing. I couldn't get out.

I was like, sorry, everyone. I wonder what would have happened. That's brilliant. I couldn't get out. I was like, sorry, everyone. Brilliant. I wonder what would have happened. That's brilliant. I had me 3D glasses on, as I always do. The drive's cooler that way.

Your podcast, The Friendship Bungie, and you won't be talking about The Hobbit then at all. It'll just be Lord of the Rings strictly, right? Or is it kind of some crossover? I mean, I'm sure we might make passing comments towards The Hobbit then at all? Just be Lord of the Rings strictly, right? Or is it some crossover? I mean, I'm sure we might make passing comments towards The Hobbit since Billy sings a song at the end of the movie, but it's

probably leaning more towards Lord of the Rings. But to be fair, it's leaning more towards our lives than anything else, just what we get up to in our normal, everyday lives. I always like talking to people who are famous, and you guys are famous for many different reasons. It must be cool to be famous for movies that are so fucking awesome.

You know what I mean? Like it's one thing to be like, I was the guy in Weekend at Bernie's. I was the dead body. I got dragged behind the boat. And people, you're in restaurants, you go, that was me. That was me. Like that. But you get to be famous

for something that's fucking cool like simple question what's that like? because people always say that you're not sick

of always being called a hobbit and if you think about it 95% of actors are remembered for nothing yeah and then four percent are remembered for things that they don't want to be remembered for and then you're like you're so lucky that you're in that tiny percentage that you did something that people love and they remember you for that i I mean, you've got to be thankful for that, right? Yes.

At the end of my life, I'll be famous for being punched in the head and commenting on guns. Maybe this podcast. Let's see how it goes. We're questioning a basic plot of Lord of the Rings. I think you got it. You have to get a ring that rules us all and back in the lava and mortar I'm surprised you even got that

I mean I know you've seen them but I've seen them I like them I think I got them on DVD I love them yeah I'm a huge fan so alright but maybe we can get them

to explain it for people who haven't seen a little bit for people who haven't seen it if you haven't seen it what are you listening to this fucking podcast for because they're trying

to learn about it go off and watch the movie what are you fucking like you're trying to get people to convince them when I want some Oscars if you're one of these people who you fucking... He's trying to get people to convince them to watch some Oscars. If you're one of these people

who's like, oh, there's nothing to watch, you haven't seen Lord of the Rings. There's been a pandemic for a fucking year and you haven't fucking seen Lord of the Rings.

Get your ass into gear. All right, don't tell them what it's about. I think he totally nailed the story of Lord of the Rings, but to answer your question as to why the Eagles didn't just pick up the ring. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There are a couple of reasons for this, specifically. One of them being those eagles are not eagle-sized that we would be aware of. They're probably 10 times the size of a golden eagle, absolutely massive-sized birds. So those guys flying towards Mordor would immediately have been seen by the enemy and probably shot down or at least tried to be attacked. The second reason is, if you remember in the film, and it also features in the book, there isn't an open top volcano that you can simply fly over and drop the ring in. You have to

walk into an underground chamber to get to the fiery pit. And even though eagles can walk on talons, it would be pretty difficult. And they probably wouldn't even be able to fit up in that size. I'm not saying the eagle has to take them all the way. She's like five miles out. Another reason

is that the ring will make anybody go to the dark side, we'll call it. And the more powerful you are, the easier it will do that. That's why the hobbits can take the ring, because they're not powerful. More pure. So the eagles are incredibly powerful. So if they got so close to the ring, they could turn evil.

Now, okay, so Smeagol, we should put that another name. Okay, so. Yeah, yeah, I'm getting up in there. It just takes time. Is that because it rings with eagle? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My brain just takes a bit to rev up. And once it gets going, it's like how I run.

Once I hit top speed, you can't catch me. Orlando Bloom won, isn't that Legolas? Legolas, yeah. I was trying to point to Jack's Legos in the other room to give you a clue. It was Legolas. Okay, so Smeagol gets the ring. He becomes Gollum. It seems like, okay, so how many years was that?

Because Bilbo Baggins gets it, and even when he gets it taken, he seems to have had it for a very long time, Bilbo Baggins, and he actually keeps him looking younger than he should be. So there are some benefits to the ring. But he seems okay with it. And then, you know, like then Frodo gets in. He only has it for a way shorter time than the other two blokes. So how long does it take from Smeagol to Gollum

and why didn't Bilbo Gollum up? Does that make sense? I'll answer the Bilbo question. Maybe Billy can answer the Smeagol question because I'm not entirely sure. The reason why Bilbo isn't so affected by the ring in the same way that Gollum is is that Bilbo very rarely touches it. He kind of puts it away in his house under safekeeping. And only every so often, he kind of takes it out and looks at it. But in the book, it's not that often at all.

Smeagol constantly is holding on to it, putting it on, polishing it, cleaning it. He's much more attached to it than Bilbo. And in terms of the timeline, I'm not sure. Yeah, I mean, I think Smeagol had it for hundreds of years and Bilbo was like 60-odd years, I think. And the reason Frodo happens so quickly

is he's getting closer and closer to where the ring was actually made and where its master is, the Lord of the Ring, where Sauron is. So he's getting so close to where the ring wants to be

that it gets so powerful, you know. And also what Dom said as well is, so Bilbo wasn't touching it all the time and Frodo has it around his neck the whole time, like a woman whose husband's died. And you see in the film, and I'm sure they talk about it in the book, but the ring actually starts to create pretty significant scarring where it's touching his skin, just the connection to his skin.

Oh, he shouldn't be sunbedding with it. Plus he was stabbed. So he had both. Anyway. Is it true that in The Hobbit, because in The Hobbit there was like cloaks and stuff and the ring was a way more minor character where it was just one of the special magical items that Bilbo had picked up. Do you believe that it was always Token's plan to make this ring

this big, massive character? Does that make sense what I just said or have i just yeah good question i don't know the actual writing because i think he started lothering and then did the hobbit and then went back to luthering so i'm not actually sure uh i don't really know what the order of that was now i've done a little bit of acting um and none of it what you would call good um so you guys are real actors i've been in some appalling movies and i i the only time that i've ever acted quite good was when i did a sitcom where i was playing myself and even then i slightly botched it up from time to time um but what i remember is i used to get super annoyed with

wardrobe days where they used to bring you in they try fucking 50 different outfits and every episode of a 20 minute 22 minute sitcom I'd probably wear two to three different outfits in each thing because it'd be a different day and all that stuff how fucking good was it that you were doing nine hours of a movie and you guys never changed outfit like did you just have like six of them just sitting there and you're just like, fucking get me the wig, get me the hairy feet and fuck off. I mean, pretty much, certainly for the first two,

nothing changed at all, right? Then in the third movie, Billy's with Gondor and I'm with Rohan, so we get slightly different armour. But for the most part, same same shirt same waistcoat hairy feet no shoes same wig same ears but when we didn't get the the gondor and rohan stuff there was chain mail and that stuff weighs a ton yeah when they passed out the gibbons it was a whole like body piece of chain mail and then you're like you can't spend a whole day with that on. I don't know how anybody went into battle with all that stuff on.

End up, they made little plastic rings. So it didn't weigh anything. Right. Right. And then even put it in our whole bodies, just wherever it was seen. So,

uh, it was much easier. How long, how long in makeup each day? Oh, a long time. A long time. Started out probably, I don't know, over two hours at the start. And then by the time you got to the third movie, people really knew what they're doing and maybe they were getting it down to an hour and a half or maybe a little bit under that. But at the end of the day,

they had to take our feet and wigs and ears off and they had to do it very carefully so we're probably sat in makeup at the end of the day for a good 45 minutes to an hour as well and six days underneath the feet were you barefoot or did you have a pair of converse on or something like that or they just put them over the top or did they put the feet under the bottom as well was it like a sock that went on you i know these are the hard pressing questions that no one else asks. No, I want to know this. Well, I can shoot.

Yeah. Alright. I'm bringing over a plot now. Don't just get in props here. Just so you know, this is not a hobbit foot. I thought you had an actual foot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very similar to this. Our foot would go in it, and then they would paint makeup around here

so that you wouldn't see the joint. And then we would have an extension to our feet, because obviously hobbits are known for having big feet. And then they'd grow hair on there. Yeah. A little hairy bit here. That's like a slipper. And to this day, there's still footprints around,

and that's why Reece Darby believes in Bigfoot yeah oh nice slipper on the foot slipper unrelated question why do you have that slipper in your studio

we're in this kind of studio where we're doing all these interviews today and there's a whole bunch of like strange

random what else is over there yeah money slipper Bernie Sanders from the inauguration that's amazing yeah random. What else is over there? Yeah. Money Slipper. Bernie Sanders from the inauguration. That's amazing. Because why not?

All right, good. Tom, this is a question just slightly with, got nothing to do with Lord of the Rings. You were in an Eminem video. Are you mates with him? No, not at all. I really like his music and certainly the first couple of albums were on heavy rotation when we were making Lord of the Rings. Most mornings, the Four Hobbits would wake up needing a little bit of a kickstart because we're coming in at 4.45, 5 in the morning,

10 past 5 in the morning. You need a little bit of energy eminem was one of the biggest artists on the planet there so we played uh eminem a lot and i was a big fan and continued to be a massive fan of his music and then i was supposed to be in a film with the director and it fell through and he had made the eminem video where he plays Robin to Dre's Batman. I think that was... The real Slim Shady. Yeah, the real Slim Shady. Yeah, I think it's the real Slim Shady. And he just called me up one weekend and he said, or one Friday and said, what are you doing this weekend? And I said, nothing. And he said, do you want to be in an Eminem video? And I said, yeah,

that would be amazing. And he said, well, I to clear it with marshall and i'll call you back in 10 minutes then he called me back and said yeah you're in let's go so that's what i did now we're talking about music you listen to and stuff you were in new zealand for two years please tell me you have an appreciation now for crowded house because i Crowded House and that's the only thing. Well, Billy's quite good friends with Neil Finn. I love Neil Finn. Probably one of my favourite songwriters ever. I think he writes songs just incredible. And when I did the song for the final Hobbit movie,

I was down in Wellington writing the song with Fran Walsh and we wanted to do a demo of it and they said oh let's get a studio and I said can we ask Neil Finn if he's got time in his studio so they called him up and we got we flew up to Auckland and spent the day with Neil recording The Last Goodbye Amazing Amazing Out of the house and split ends I personally believe Neil Finn's the best songwriter since Leonard McCartney, I think he's

I think you're probably right I used to sell a car stereo car stereos in Australia before I was a comedian, I sold mobile phones and car stereos in a shop, not just on the side of the road. And I sold Tim Finn, his brother, a car stereo, and I fucking walked him through every one.

It was probably a two-hour sale. I just, I really, he's like, all right, I'll pick this one. No, you haven't seen this one yet. Come over here. I fucking talked that cunt's ear off so I apologise Tim Finn

if you're listening I just remembered that we went to the studio as well yeah we did and we had a bottle of red wine and listened to the Beatles

yeah with Neil and his wife was that awful yeah we did it I know it's a little bit overly played now and you know

so many people have heard it but but Four Seasons in One Day is such a beautiful song. It's not overplayed here in America. All they know here is Don't Dream It's Over, but for all of our American listeners in the podcast, give Neil Finn a spin. Just buy Crowded House's Greatest Hits. Just listen to that album.

If you enjoy that, then branch out and some of the solo work. And then Split Ends is a completely other thing as well. I've listened to it because you like it. You always talk about Crowded House. It's been on my phone for years, and it's great. All right. Testimonial. That ought to nail it down for everybody.

Forest Lake gives a shit. Billy was going to say something, right? That ought to nail it down for everybody. Forrest likes it. He gives a shit. Billy was going to say something, right? Yeah. Neil Finn came to one of the openings of the movie down in New Zealand. I can't remember which one. One of the other rings, I mean. And there was a party afterwards in some big room somewhere.

And it was kind of okay. And he's sitting at a table and I happened to be at that table. And I said, Neil, you wouldn't go up and do a few songs, would you? And he said, yeah, yeah. He said, I've got a guitar there. I could go up and do a few songs.

So I went straight to the PR woman and I'm like, Neil Finn's here. And he said, you'll go up and do a few songs. And they're like, no, no. I think we're just going to keep the music. And I was like, this is in the music. Neil Finn said he's going to go up and do some songs. And they're like, no, no, it's okay. I was, oh, my God, what's wrong with these people?

Have you ever seen that footage of, like, I think it was Beck, Paul McCartney and Dave Grohl trying to get into a party after the Grammys. And they were trying to get into a party at the Grammy at the Hyde on Sunset. And the security guy was like, not on the list. And Paul McCartney, I think Paul McCartney, because he's never been told no his whole life and rightfully so,

was just like, but I'm a fucking Beatleman. How much more on the list do you need to be didn't that something similar happen with chris rock that they wouldn't let him in chris rock came to see me record my special um uh no this is me now and i recorded in london and i never met chris rock and they they i was recording at the Hammersmith Apollo, and someone said, like, just before I went on stage, they went, Chris Rock's here to come and see the special. And I was like, fuck. Fight back with one of my heroes, and I'm there going,

holy fuck, Chris Rock, man. So he came and watched the special. It wasn't my best special, but it was okay. And then afterwards we chattedatted and then he was there. Michelle Wolfe was opening for him, who's a star in her own right. And what happened afterwards, we were like, all right, we're having a big party. Afterwards we went out to the Groucho Club in London and I gave,

I text Chris the address and I was all excited. Chris Rock's going to come. Yeah, yeah. It turns out he wasn't on the list. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but it was like this young girl is like, yeah, you're not here. And it's like, what? Yeah, we'd actually put him on a list, but it was also just like Chris was

such a cool guy that he didn't do the, hey, I'm Chris. Rock, he just went, am I not? Okay, no problem. See you later. And just walked away. And don't fucking door. I don't want to use the term door bitch, but I will use it for this. She stopped me from hanging out with Chris,

but Chris has been very nice to me ever since. I'm good friends with his niece, so I'll hook you guys up. Oh, I mean, Chris, we still, I think I texted him after he did SNL and he had a great monologue. And so, you know, we're still good. Settle down, everybody. Okay. We're settled.

All right. Characters, you've been getting some now. You said Bilbo, Samwise, Ganji. Samwise, Ganji, Smeagol. Smeagol. Gandalf. Gandalf the gray, Gandalf the white. I said Frodo again.

I said the white and the gray. They're two different things. Get into it, man. The dwarf, as you said, the main dwarf. Oh, you guys all have the tattoos, right? You all have the tattoos, the Fellows said, the main dwarf. Oh, you, you guys all have the tattoos, right? You all have the tattoos, the fellowship of the ring tattoos, because I love it when Gandalf, you know, buddy, what's the, Ian McKellen.

Ian McKellen. When Ian McKellen always cracks out his tattoo and all that stuff, you know, are you all right? Are you all right? Wait, what's a tattoo? They all got a tattoo of the fellowship of the rings. All the people, well, they can tell me that I haven't got one. You, you talk about it.

We all got the same tattoo when we'd all wrapped principal photography. Now, this was one of your first movies. I don't know, was it or wasn't it? This was early on in your careers, correct? Early on, yeah. Okay, so to get a tattoo, like you could have blown that tattoo on another film i'll reference weekend at bernie's again right now let's say you're on weekend at bernie's and you're like fucking hell i love this cast we're all getting along let's go get a tattoo and then

you're like ah i should i blew it i blew it so at least you got a really cool movie you know it's like it's like one thing like if you're in Star Wars and you go, oh, I've got bloody Empire Strikes Back, and then you're like, yeah, I got the Attack of the Clones one, so I'm not as – oh, God. Actually, the tattoos in CGI, the whole thing. But you were in Star Wars, so I'm going to stop ragging. This is a Star Wars tattoo.

Oh, you got one. This is an Empire a Star Wars tattoo. Oh, you got one. This is an Empire Strikes Back tattoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A line from Yoda. It says, luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. Here, I'll name you some characters, see if you know who the actor is. Okay. Well, the dwarf, by the way, is Gimli.

Yeah, Gimli. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aragorn, very big. Okay, okay. I know Gimli is the guy who plays Sal on Raiders of the Lost Ark, who goes, oh, Indy, blah, blah, yeah. Aragorn, very big. Okay, okay. I know Gimli is the guy who plays Sal on Raiders of the Lost Ark who goes, oh, Indy, blah, blah, blah, that guy. Really? Yeah, I think it's him.

Yeah, I believe it's him. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Yeah, there we go. I don't know if that's his name. I just clicked on his name. John Rhys.

John Rhys, yeah, okay. I don't know how his last name is. Davies. John Rhys. I alwaysys, yeah, okay. I don't know his last name. Davies. John Rhys. I always mix him up with that guy. He would have been too old, but the guy with the big booming, blessed, the British actor who's like, Gordon's alive. That guy, right?

So Aragorn, you don't know who played Aragorn? He was eventually the king. Aragorn, that's the guy out of the Green Book. Yeah. Vig Vegan Mortensen. Vegan Mortensen, yeah. Did you say vegan Mortensen? Shut up. Shut up, Kelly.

I got close. I got close. Let me have a win. He's got vegan on the brain. What about Boromir? Who's Boromir? Which character is Boromir? He was in the first movie.

Is that Sam Neill? Sam Neill plays the elf movie. He dies. Is that Sam Neill? Sam Neill plays the Elf King. He saves me and Dom. He gets three arrows. He basically sacrifices himself for us. Famous actor. Hugo Weaving? No, Sean Bean.

Sean Bean. Seen Bean. That's what I call him. Seen Bean. Seen Bean. Sorry. I think he dies in every movie or TV show he's in. No, I have a theory on Sean Bean that he's from Sheffield.

He's like, I'll tell you what. I'll do the film, but have me out in three weeks. He's like, I'm not committed to the whole thing. All right. Let's go to the rest of these questions. A couple more I said who are the Nazgul

he said Terminators and Lord of the Rings yeah they're on the horses they're going it's a pretty good answer yeah okay

they're the police of the police Iron Man's police the nine humans wasn't it it was the nine humans

men yeah corrupted kings who got the rings. Because I walked into one ring, there was seven for the elves, four for the dwarves, nine for the humans or the men. So they were the nine men who were corrupted by the rings. There you go.

Corrupted. Corrupted. All right, and then the last question I asked Jim was, what happened to your two characters at the end of it? said you guys just had kids yeah you came back sort of heroes and you sort of looked at the other hobbits and you went we did all right didn't we all these cunts don't know what we got up to hey fucking we're pretty we're good is that right and i remember that scene pete what he wanted to do that scene and he said to us about two weeks before it, he said what should that scene be? and we were having ideas like oh maybe we've got

an orcs helmet you know a new rakai shield and you know we're kind of remembering what we've been through you know? showing it to our friends. Oh, yeah, yeah. By the end, I think Pete said, you know what? Nobody else knows what you guys have been through. You should just have a drink and just kind of cheers each other and just kind of a very quiet moment,

which I think worked so much better than any of the ideas that we all came up with. It's like men coming back from war. Yeah. None of them want to talk about it. Not only do they not want to talk about the awful things that they've been through, but no one will understand what they've been through. So the four of them just look at each other.

They raise a glass. We say it's done. And I think like Billy said, it's such a beautiful moment, but it really works. Here's a pro tip for anyone visiting hobbiton which you can visit in new zealand i went with my girlfriend at the time and we went on the last tour of the day and at the end of the whole tour they bring you into the green dragon or i don't know because the end you get to have a beer or an ipa or a cider

if you go on the last tour of the day you get multiple beers because they're like it's the end of the day we got extra beers instead of just having one beer you get to have three or four pro tip for anyone out there yeah I remember having a beer it's a good day out

it's a lovely day out it was great and from what I remember from the tour it was like a farmer and allegedly they landed a helicopter this is what the tour guide said

they landed the helicopter and they went in and they said oh look we'd like to film they scoured all this land to find the right amount of hills to have all the houses built into and he was watching rugby at the time and the new zealanders love rugby by the way and he said oh we'll come back after the game and they're like we're a big come back after the game so anyway so they they built it for the Lord of the Rings films. Then they tore it down and then they come back to him and they say,

hey, we've decided to make this Hobbit movie. We're going to have to build it again. I think his caveat was you can build it, but you have to leave it up this time so that he could have the tourists come through and all that type of stuff. He's still sheep farming though. He's probably, look, when you say he's still sheep farming, all New Zealanders are sheep farming. They're all doing it. Don't act like you say he's still sheep farming, all New Zealanders are sheep farming.

They're all doing it. Don't act like, and he's a sheep farmer. They're sheep farming in the middle of Auckland. Don't worry about it. Okay, so this is the part of the show, the end dinner party fact. We asked our guests to give us, like, some sort of fact, obscure, interesting, that the audience can use to impress people about this subject.

So do you guys have something about Lord of the Rings? Well, we were told that it wasn't about this subject. It was just a fact. Oh, we'll take it. We'll take it. Oh, yeah, we'll do that too. That's brilliant because we had one guest on who came on and he didn't know it was meant to be about this subject,

and his fact was about slavery, and it got real awkward real fast. So hopefully it's not that. The best part is that the topic of that episode was stand-up comedy. Stand-up comedy. And his fact was like, how many slaves do you think were sold to the Americas? And you're like, fuck it, hell, dude. So give us what you got.

No, I'm going to think a lot of rings one way. Okay, so did you know in the slave trade? Okay, so you've got to bear with me a little bit because this is a slightly philosophical comment that I'm making here. But hang in there with me. If you were to take a mythical bag in which you can put one example of every single type of animal on the planet, so that's one example of an African elephant, one example of an Indian elephant, one blue whale, one minke whale, one killer whale whale there is a one in four chance that when you pull your hand

out that animal will be a beetle they are the most innumerate animal on the planet by a massive degree in fact if you were to put every single plant and animal in that bag you'd have a one in five chance that the animal you would pull out would be a beetle yeah you just pull bag, you'd have a one in five chance that the animal you would pull out would be a beetle. You just pull it out and you'd be like, I've been in that bag for a long time. Come on, the last year. I didn't play drums

on all the albums. Sometimes Paul would come in and play the drum. I was alright with it. I wrote Octopus's Garden. That's amazing, though. That's an amazing fact. Billy, you said you had one? Right.

I'll give you a Lord of the Rings one then. So we're talking about makeup and being, you know, how long did it take to put on. If anyone asks you what actor has spent the most time on a makeup chair in a movie, you can tell them it's joint between four, it was the Hobbits. We were in the Guinness Book of Records as the actors who spent the most time getting ready for a part in a movie on a makeup chair. But it was still substantially less than most Instagram models do on a daily basis. Fair point, fair point. Thank you guys very much for being here.

I just subscribed to the podcast right now. Yeah, I'm going to listen. It's called The Friendship Onion, and it comes out today because this is May 18th today. And please subscribe to that on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It's everywhere, right, that you guys can get podcasts? Everywhere. YouTube, anywhere you get your podcasts, you can come find us.

And do you have any social media handles you guys want to promote for that? Dom underscore Monaghan underscore on Instagram and also the friendship onion on Instagram. I always forget what my name is. I don't know. But also the friendship onion. Yeah. Perfect.

All right, guys. Thank you so much for being on the podcast. I really appreciate it. This was one of my favorite ones ever, the topic. I know I didn't do that well, but I redeemed myself halfway through. Lads, okay, if you're ever at a party and someone walks up to you and goes, they spent eight years making those slaughtering films, you go, well, I don't know about that, and you just walk away.

Thanks, guys.