I Don't Know About That - Orgasms with Emily Morse

Episode Date: November 3, 2020

In this episode, the team discusses orgasms with doctor of human sexuality and the host of the podcast and SiriusXM radio show "Sex with Emily", Dr. Emily Morse. ( @SexWithEmily ).See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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but now you're listening to I don't know about that with Jim Jefferies how's your best one yet you like that one no well that's the thing if you don't know

You should be listening To something more educational Than our podcast You're really in the dark Yeah You don't know the difference Between an election And an erection?

It's an R That's a good point Yeah Today is the election Unless you don't know that Today's the election You're all out there You're in line right now

Fighting for freedom Or now fighting for freedom or for not for freedom whatever you where you vote what did you what did you vote on proposition 64 i voted yes don't know what it is was there one no no we didn't go that way prop 23 has been following me around for sure 23 which one's that one the dialysis one yeah that one i i can't i can't remember how i voted on that one people are annoying me on those ads me too i'm like maybe i'm voting against this because they don't shut the fuck up like like the people who like if i if prop 23 is 24 23 goes through i'll die and you're like surely there's not someone trying to do that trying to kill you maybe you're being a bit extreme when you watch anything on streaming websites like that's one of the commercials that plays all the time so there's one show i was watching it had seven

commercial or seven ads in every commercial and six of them were prop 23 every single fucking time and now the ads are on instagram there's another one that's like child trafficking um it's not a crime or something not a violent crime what yeah yeah that you should you should vote for it to be a violent crime and the other one's like it to be a violent crime and the other one's like it's not a violent crime and there's another one just like hitting someone with a baseball bat is not a violent crime i've seen that had a few times i haven't seen that one at all what are you watching what channel do you watch it feels like that's a violent crime i i don't know no no they're saying that we should make it a violent crime. But at the moment, it's not.

I might be wrong, but they're saying that that's not a violent crime. Understood. I ate Taco Bell before I came here. And I've got a theory on Taco Bell now. I want it to be healthy. Not healthy. I just want it to be good quality. All fast food.

Why can't they do that? Why can't they put free range stuff in and grass fed beef and all that stuff and just bump up the price and have a premium section? They have those restaurants. They're Mexican restaurants that use all those ingredients. Even restaurants very rarely use grass fed and all that stuff. Everyone's trying to keep their costs down. But when I cook at home, I cook with really good ingredients. Then I go out and I have to eat shit, but they cook it so much better than I do.

Grass fed's pretty like fairly new to become trendy i feel like not new no no in the rest of the world in the rest of the world it's the standard oh no i mean in america feeding feeding cows corn is ridiculous and stupid yeah but we eat dog shit here well you used to live in a country where they fed them other cows england that is true they fed them other cows that's a nice tree that's how mad cow disease happened. They weren't feeding them cows, like just handing them cows. I think like a cow got... It was in the mincer

and all that stuff because cows aren't, you know, they're not meat eaters, you see. It was mixed up in their soot or whatever they fuck. Turns out that wasn't good. Yeah. Turns out it wasn't good. You know, The wet markets We wouldn't be going through this corona

If that was a grass fed bat You know it was a dodgy bat Who'd eaten other fucking bats In the wet market Alright Trump What is he called The Hong Kong flu-y disease That was one of his things

China flu China flu Hong Kong flu-y China plague is another one China plague Yeah another one China plague Just say made in China We all know that's dodgy We all know that's a crap product

This flu was made in China I want an American made flu That's what he wants Trump wants the American flu American flu That's a good one Made with American hands American germs.

What are we doing, Jack, today? Common World. Don't we have a theme song? We do. We incorrectly credited the last theme song. It was Michael Miller, but today is the person we miscredited, which is Textruvis. I don't know how to pronounce it.

Wait, wait. You've got to credit the person before you play their song. Textruvis. Yeah, it's his Instagram. Textruvis you play their song. Text-trivis. Yeah, it's his Instagram. Text-trivis. Text-trivis. Text-trivis.

Just look it up for us. Okay. Come and world, come and world. It's time for come and world. It was an incredible experience. Come and world, come and world. It's time for come and world. This is a new one.

Yep. Come and world. We're doing just as little as we did when we got in here. Whoever wrote... They're the people who deserve credit. Whoever got the royalty on that baby. We use that a lot. That's seven years old, right? Older than that, yeah.

When did that come in? That really took over. 40s. Yeah. Lollipop, lollipop. Mr. Sandman. All right. Coming in hot with a review.

Five-star review titled Forest Lifting. When Jack did an impersonation of forest lifting sounds i almost drove off the road from laughing because that is identical to how i imagine forest lifting something great show can't tell if i'm learning more or laughing more from castastic six this person should not have a driver's license if they were that close to driving over the road from you going like that do it it is pretty good yeah yeah it is yeah you can tell he's just put that onto a medium-sized bench when you're listening i knew the height that he was lifting and everything that wasn't above his head that was that was that was a bag off the floor onto one of those things you put in your hotel room

where you put the bag down so it's slightly elevated so you can open it up. That's exactly what that lift was. Who's imagining me lifting stuff without this, though? I was thinking the same thing. Whatever I imagine for lifting, that's what it sounded like. All right, now let's do it some more impersonation, Jack. Forrest Cumming. Oh.

I think he goes, I'll get get it down here's 20 bucks some comment said really great episode also can forest be any more adorable oh positive comment yeah yeah i could be yeah. This is him seeing his baby for the first time. Okay. Kid better be funny. That's not the right color. That wasn't me. Jack, you should hope I get famous.

You have a whole career doing impressions of me you know there was a guy that used to do the best Kennedy impersonation he was like the number one he was on all the late night shows constantly and he just did the hey everybody I'm the president like whatever I can't do it it's the Mayor Quimby voice right and so he used to do JFK better than anybody and then JFK got shot

and you know what happened he died right right? And so he used to do JFK better than anybody. And then JFK got shot and yeah, you know what happened, right? He died, right? What? And so, but then that guy's career,

like he had other impersonations, but he couldn't be on TV anymore because it just made the nation sad. They were just like, oh, geez, he did a good, good version of him. So that's kind of like,

if, if Trump dies, then like, that's Alec Baldwin. I don't think people would be that sad yeah they'd be like oh great Trevor Nile would still be fine

it wasn't that good an impersonation ooh I'm dead ooh oh no I died someone says Jim seems like the kind of guy

who gives great hugs I do give good hugs I don't know great I give a good solid hug. For the first 30 seconds and the next 30 seconds,

it's like, this is going on a bit long. 30 seconds is even long. Who do you hug? I can't picture you hugging. He's hugged me one time drunk. I don't know. I used to be a big hugger,

but then, you know, human resources. I hug my son. I hug my wife. And I hug my son I hug my wife and I hug my ex my ex my son's mother

I hug Forrest occasionally when I see him I don't know if we've ever hugged there's been some weird moments like even like after both of our moms died it was like we're just kind of like

it's like me you were an awkward hug my father didn't hug me my whole life and now that we're older i when i see my hugging i just go fuck it i'm doing it i'm doing it and i go and hug him he goes oh there we go there we go he's so uncomfortable okay lovely good to see you good to see you oh

i remember when kelly and i hugged once just to say goodbye and we've never done that we haven't done it since because we're like, what the fuck was that? We were at a comedy show and Tommy was there too. And we all hadn't seen each other in a while. And we gave each other hugs and we're like, what the? No, we're never doing that again. It was like two friends having sex. We're like, we're never going to talk about this or do this again.

And then we talked about it on our podcast. Way to go, Jack. Fuck. This comment really made me laugh. It goes, old computer missing kiss grandson age 4 has some form of comma unable diagnosed due to

the number 2 covid doctor cancelled app can we go can we do an and from home love show oh wow there's a love show at the end yeah that's just like an Asian European who's trying to express that they're enjoying themselves they said their old computer's missing keys so many words missing even the russian bots love us

no there's a bot that says um i need boyfriend kissy heart and then someone responded shut up you slag which seemed mean i need boyfriend kissy heart shut up you know it doesn't seem mean to say that to a bot it's not a real person and also that's not how you get a boyfriend you know how did you get a boyfriend I kept on writing on people's walls that I needed one until eventually someone went oh whatever let's do this um someone said it's not that I mind Forrest and Jack I just got used to seeing them as Dan Bacadale andj qualls right that doesn't make sense she she goes i like jim's old friends better yeah yeah yeah well we might get them on one time there is talk for anyone who's listening right now is talk i'm thinking of

doing a passion project of doing another podcast which is just uh me dan bacadale and dj qualls uh watching each episode of Legit, similar to what they're doing with Scrubs and what they're doing with The Office. And I know my show is nowhere near as popular as that, and I don't give a fuck if only like a few hundred people listen as long as they enjoy it. And I'd enjoy doing that podcast.

So that might be – that's in the pipeline. I love when people say passion project. That just means nobody else wants to pay you to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fully aware that this will not be a profitable thing. I'm doing it for passion. I think there's enough fans out there. I'm sure you would still.

I think, and also we, in fact, I think all the actors who worked on that show, we all still get along really well. Would you go episode by episode? We'd go episode by episode. Yeah, that'd be fun. We'd watch it on the screen there, watch an episode, and then we'd sit back and we'd make notes, and then we'd go through the episode, what happened, you know, every five minutes. Yeah, yeah. There was an episode, West Wing Weekly.

They need a lot of promotion. No, they were huge. But I listened to that because I like the show, and I would do the same thing, and you'd just watch it over. Good idea. Yeah, it's not my idea, but lots of podcasts are doing this. Passion. Passion Project.

I don't know if we want to spoil it, but people have been asking where that diploma's from. It's from Education High. Diploma University, actually. It's being known that Jim Jefferies has been given satisfactory evidence in the fitness of... Well, just like why we have it. It's from the Diploma University. It's from the Jim Jefferies show. Yeah.

Yeah, when we did the health care episode with uh jim pitched his own version of health care called gym care yeah and so we had a diploma in the background that was the diploma there's there's a there's a mexican guy with a whole lot of uh over in that corner pointed at luis i was like where is he going with this behind the Mexican guy there's a wow Guaco Paco there's an animation

of a Mexican guy that was from our pilot episode when we did a whole lot of different Black Pete field piece we have we have Black Pete Guaco Paco

yeah if you don't remember Black Pete Black Pete was a thing they do in Holland where they put on black face and they're Sinterklaas' friend and it's if if you're a good person santa claus will give you gifts if you're a bad person black pete will put you in a sack and take you to spain uh that's that's the cliff notes on black pete there's a lot more going on there but we did a thing as we do we did a whole

lot of other different racist um you should probably take a picture of that and put it into the christmas characters and this one was it was a guaco paco guaco paco then there was bombay bob which is an indian guy with the red dot he's shining his light like a sweatshop pete sweatshop pete he was from asia asian elf and then my favorite one was uh and we did this on tv so you can't get angry at us now. You can watch the footage. My favorite one was Frank Anne. Yeah. And Frank Anne, she hid up in your attic. And then it's like once a year, she would come down. Christmas time.

She would pop her head down and write in her diary what she thought of you. And all the things you'd done. And she was Frank Anne. And the guy from Holland went, I don't think that one will work because it is too close to anne frank he was like that's the problem people will get you'll latch onto it too much so i know that one's like anne frank what a bit naughty uh a comment said in the in the autism episode that quote the group sexual tension is strong in this one. Really? We as a group have sexual tension? I have no idea. I don't think there's anyone in this group that would have

sex with anyone in this group in any way. No. No. Yeah, you're right. Really comes down to Kelly, really. Kelly's a hard no. If Kelly's a hard no, then I wouldn't either. No, I never never thought about it. All right, any other comments?

Last comment. Tell the fucking story already. God damn it, Forrest. No, no, we're not going to tell the story. It's been too long now. The expectation's too high. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe after the commercial break?

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promo code JIM. All right, now it's time to welcome our guest to the show. Please welcome to the show Emily Morse. Hello, Emily. Hello, Emily. Hello, good to be here. Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming on the show.

So Jim doesn't know what you're here to talk about yet, so this is a part of the show called Judging a Book by Its Cover. And we have a theme song we keep forgetting to play. Yes, though. Yes, though. Yes, though. Yes, though. Judging a book by its cover.

All right. Is that them someone shutting a book? Yeah. Or they just didn't take a breath during the song and then someone fell over? I think they're slamming a book shut. It's just a barbershop quartet that punched someone at the end. Yeah. All right, so Emily, Jim's going to try and guess what you're here to talk about.

You're an expert in just by looking at you, looking around where you're at, and he's going to ask you a series of yes, no questions. You have a pillow with boobs on it. How did we know that was going to be the first thing he saw? It's not a question. No, but that is something. I think it's boobs. Yeah.

Or it's eyes with like sleepy eyelids. Or it's two testicles both with warts. I'm going to go probably boobs. There's something off on the left underneath the plant that looks like something as well. But I don't know. Ask some questions. Do you work at a hospital, Emily? I do not. Do you work at a hospital, Emily? I do not.

Do you give lectures? I give talks. You give talks. Do your talks involve physical or mental health? Yes. All right. So she's a therapist. Are you a therapist?

As soon as they say yes to one thing, you make a guess, and you're always wrong. Are you a therapist? I'm they say yes to one thing you make a guess and you're always wrong are you a therapist i'm a therapist yeah all right there you go talk about therapy are you okay so we're gonna go down so therapist okay i'm gonna go from the boobs i don't mean to be rude or anything are you a sexual therapist i am there we go but what's the topic for today yeah uh pillow boobs you're right um uh we're gonna be talking about orgasms orgasms and sex we're talking about some sex we should talk about it at least half the population gets them yeah we acknowledge that yeah do you know what's underneath the plant there now uh that's a vagina is it That's a vagina.

Is it? It's a vulva, actually. I never know the difference. The vulva, like... It's an external part of the vagina is the vulva. Yeah, but isn't that the whole thing? Like, I know it doesn't go backwards and in. Vagina's the inside. Vagina's not the inside.

The womb's the inside. The womb? I like how you have a sex therapist and a woman being like the vagina's inside like absolutely fucking not there's the front bit there's the front bit i mean she's got in the womb the whole scientifically named the front and then there'd be the connect the canal and then canal womb the panama canal to the womb um let me introduce em. I think he's going to do well. Emily Morse is a doctor of human sexuality, host of the Sex with Emily radio show on Sirius XM, author of Hot Sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight is recognized as one of today's most insightful sex educators, challenging cultural taboos, misinformation, awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and shamelessly embrace pleasure. She's inspired millions of people to normalize sex and pleasure by creating a safe space to talk and explore and learn.

Learn more at sexwithemily.com or by following her at sexwithemily on Instagram. Emily Morse, so you related to the person who invented Morse code? Do you know that? No, I'm not. Because maybe they also invented the female orgasm. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. No, that joke didn't work? No, I'm not. Because maybe they also invented the female orgasm. It goes ding-a-ling-a-ling. No, that joke didn't work? No, I liked it, yeah.

I don't know that it would work, but. Yeah. Well, then I'm out of ideas. How did you come to this? Just give us a little bit more background about yourself, like to come to this. Oh, how did I come to this profession? Profession, profession profession yeah thank you i couldn't think of the word i'm like what yeah i'm a sex therapist i'm a sex educator i started a podcast 15 years ago called sex with

emily and i started that because i was having very disappointing sex i thought that something was wrong with me because sex wasn't um resulting in orgasms or a lot of pleasure. So I realized that most women were in the same boat that I was in. And then I just started interviewing people and started the podcast. And then I started, I went back to grad school, got a doctorate in human sexuality and therapy. And I realized it fits up, you know, we never talk about sex. So my mission is to make sex less taboo and shameful so we can all have

better sex that's how i got into it from an own my need to be like why why is sex disappointing why why are men having orgasms and women women was was it only disappointing to women was it disappointing to men as well or is it primarily it's more disappointing i found that most people were in the same boat that i was because all we see in media is like penis goes in vagina, explosive orgasm. And to be honest, the vagina is when it goes inside. Okay. More analogous is the clitoris, you know, to the penis.

They're more similar. So anyway, I realized that most women were either like faking it and the whole thing of penis and vagina sex isn't really where the magic happens for most women. So. All right, great. So what we're going to do is I'm going to ask Jim everything he thinks he knows about, you know, orgasms will be some sex questions, mostly orgasm stuff in here. And, and I'm going to prod them along with some questions too.

And then after that we'll grade him and you're going to grade him, Emily on accuracy, zero through 10, 10 being the best. And Kelly's going to get him on confidence and you're going to grade him, Emily, on accuracy 0 through 10, 10 being the best and Kelly's going to grade him on confidence I'm going to grade him on etc total score 0 through 10, dry spell 11 through 20, wet dream 21 through 30, multiple war guns I only ever had one wet dream in my life

I think it's because I masturbate a lot and so I've never been filled up where my body's gone, time to get rid of this you empty the tank before you do something I had one when i was like 13 and i was like what's the problem with that wish i had one of them every day yeah fantastic without all the effort okay all right let's get started here uh uh what is an orgasm jim uh an orgasm is jeez i don't know um an orgasm is, jeez, I don't know. An orgasm is... You're going to do terrible on this. Well, for a man, it's when they ejaculate, and for a woman, it's when they want it to be over.

Okay. Want it to be over. Okay. What are the four stages of sexual response? First would be texting uh no first what do you mean what do you mean by sexual response you can just pass okay no no so so so there would be arousal there you go would be your first one arousal um is titillation included or is that under the umbrella of arousal? I'm putting titillation.

Tentulation? Erections and wetness? Wetness and erections. Those are my four. Okay. I think you're doing good as usual. Yeah, crushing. What does your brain release upon orgasm?

It would be serotonin. That's what it always releases when we enjoy something okay yes Russia serotonin that's why people mistake good sex for love because they're like in that moment they go oh that was good we should do this all day it doesn't matter that you keep a car I mean love yeah that's why good sex will make you fall in love yeah is post nut clarity a real thing what is it post nut clarity yeah okay that i know exactly what that is um that that's the the because you have before your brain's a little bit evil during sex it's like i'm gonna fuck this shit i'm looking so much for the sex and then you you come on her in some way and then the the flood of regret

goes through your body and you go oh god i'm a bad person oh i'm sorry i'll get you a towel that's posted and where where also if you have sex with someone who you know you probably shouldn't be having sex with and then as soon as you come you you hate yourself. Yeah. Okay. What is a clitoris and where is it? It's at the top of the front bit. The front. Yeah. Top of the front. Top of front bit.

It's basically, it's at the top. Underneath the little hood at the top there, a little bit, and sometimes it can come out a bit more. And it's the bit you rub that they come. But you don't want to rub it too hard and sometimes you want to work around it and then you don't want to lick directly on hard. And sometimes you want to work around it. And then you don't want to lick directly on it.

All girls are a bit different that way. It's basically a miniature head of a penis that women have at the top of their labias. I can tell you, if there's one thing women love, it's being compared to men. And you've done that with every answer. So far, so good. All right. So the head of my penis is like a tall clitoris he's gonna compare them both ways yeah okay um what makes a female orgasm different than a male

orgasm um they don't exist oh no no no um uh they don't happen as often i'll tell you that much but uh uh i don't know because yeah i don't know i don't know like physically because they don't they don't produce semen men produce semen so it doesn't help with the birthing process a male orgasm helps with childbirth and a female orgasm is a bit of fun where where these sometimes some of them squirt a bit of water out i'm gonna sound very dumb in this one how do you think you're doing so far not good yeah okay well it's like i know how to have sex there's been women in my life who i could make come and then other ones that i just gave up i was like i can't do it with you you have to you have to mentally make a shift there because i'm doing

all me moves and if these moves aren't working those relationships never work out but you know i know how to you sometimes you fit together with a person like two bits of lego and then another time it's like a bit of duplo and a bit of lego and that's not going to work out for anyone a bit of what duplo duplo it's the big massive lego it's the little kids it's the infants Lego okay so a lot of Lego analogies very specific all right what percentage of women

say they've never orgasmed with a partner and what percentage of men women I'm gonna say it's quite high I'm gonna say

it's 35% have never have never and what about men actually I'm gonna drop that down to 25% men who say

they've never orgasmed. With a partner. With a partner. 2%. 2%. Maybe. Maybe. And they're guys that are probably gay and they're dating women.

Or they're heterosexual and they're dating men. I don't know how that happened. Okay. They're in the wrong place in life. What is ejaculation and can women ejaculate? Women can ejaculate. What is it? It's a discharge that leaves your body when you orgasm.

Okay. And for men, it's filled with sperm. And sperm is, the quote will term is baby batter. And that shoots up into the woman they swim through the hole into the womb and then they burst through an egg you should have learnt this all in school Forrest I'm learning right now

you're asking these questions I can't wait to do the pregnancy episode I fathered a child I know how to do it can women ejaculate not with that is in any useful way like it can't produce any child but like i wish i could ejaculate without producing children so i'm gonna they yeah they can squirt i think squirts the term they can yeah and i think that's just piss but i can't prove

that but i think it's just urine i don't i don't think it's just they have a water reserve ready to go. Emily's looking disgusted with me. Miley, I'm so into it. This is not the sex she has pictured. If I don't get to some of these questions in here, we will get to them too. I'm just going to skip ahead to some of these. Are women more likely to get pregnant if they orgasm during sex?

Women are more likely to get pregnant if they orgasm during sex? Women are more likely to get pregnant than men. No. More likely. If they have an orgasm during sex, are they more likely to get pregnant? That's an interesting one. I'm going to say yes. I'm going to say it opens up the canals a bit more and it gives the sperm a better way to swim.

No, because women get like we get a hard on. They go wider when they're aroused. They get a wide on. A wide on? A wide on? Yeah, if you do a lot of foreplay, it goes in there. The hole's a bit bigger and it's a bit wetter and all that type of stuff. So if they really orgasm, I imagine the hole just becomes like a hula hoop.

Swallows them all up and then the uh that's how babies are born um uh okay let's ask a couple more and we'll get going do women take longer to orgasm uh yes uh yes but i know i'm gonna hear something with no they don't if it's done rightly and all that type of stuff it's like saying does a car take longer to get fixed by a mechanic or a regular person if the regular person lucks out and just puts the bolt on right away but if you have a mechanic who has to search over the thing and all that type of stuff he's always going to do it faster than the other fella um can you name five euphemisms for an orgasm uh come uh a uh the australian term a whizzy wuzzle you can't prove

that i'm incorrect we have australian listeners i think oh yeah no you have a bit of a whizzy wuzzle and um come i'm gonna whizzy wuzzle yeah i just say orgasm i'm gonna i'm gonna you know like i know different use of it you got us two i've never called say orgasm. I'm going to, you know, like I know different use of it. That's why you got us two? I've never called an orgasm anything else. I've never had anyone, like I've heard people go, I busted a nut inside her. There you go.

If a busted a nut's not an orgasm, that's ejaculating. That's a different thing almost. Like the two are close, but it's, you know, if you, you know, I shot a load. There you go. This is all fun stuff stuff okay uh we'll ask one more my mother-in-law is listening we'll ask one more and we'll get to some of the other questions um uh are there any health benefits to orgasm yes there is and i will tell you them because this has always been my justification for the constant.

They believe it takes relief off the prostate, and that can stop prostate cancer from the sperm backing up in your testes. Okay. So they believe that for men to masturbate, it relieves your prostate problems. Now, with women, it probably calms them down. You know what I mean? That's good. Because there was a therapist, there was a sex therapist back, and I'm talking over 100 years ago, who invented the vibrator.

And he used to use it on women because when they were getting like menopause or whatever and they were getting hysterical, like this is all medical terms, this woman's hysterical. Look at her. She has opinions and everything. She's asking to vote, right? So when they did that, this guy used to have this rod and he used to put it down there a bit and then they'd orgasm

and they'd leave the doctor's surgery like that was a very good session, doctor. I feel a lot better. So it picks your spirits up but that there was there was a doctor who invented the vibrator who was just sort of he was he was just wanking women off okay um we have some other stuff we'll get to too but this is all good stuff though i'm getting good at the answers now i've really improved as we went along okay wow the confidence number has already changed i'll ask you one more then. What is edging? Edging, that's where you put your dick in just a little bit.

There you go. And then you whistle. And then when they're about to come, you go, no, not this shit. You hold them off. You keep them right on the edge. Okay. All right. I think we're done with the questions for now.

Emily, thanks for waiting there patiently. So I always tell all of my guests, I can, on a scale of zero to 10, how did Jim do on his knowledge of orgasms? I have to say, you did a lot better than you thought. Oh yeah, I thought so. I would say, yeah, I would say it was like a six or seven. All right, oh.

That's a C, That's a C. That's a C. Yeah. Yes. Pass the course. It wasn't like 100% accurate, but I feel like you were able to sort of, you know. You can tell he's had sex before, basically. Yeah, I can navigate my way around the hole.

Male orgasm is very familiar to you yeah I've seen him on film alright Kelly confidence confidence went from like a 4 to a 7 so I'm gonna give him a 6 as well a 6 in confidence not giving him

alright I'm just gonna give you a 1 so that you stay in the wet dream category cause I want you to have your second wet that i'd love to have another wet dream you got your second one i wake up with an erection i wake up very close to a wet dream but i never quite get there it's like you can't go back to sleep to make it happen you're like you try to think of the same exact thing you're like okay that's where we were no yeah it doesn't work all right okay let's go back through these emily um i asked him what is an orgasm he said a jaculate and it's when a man comes and a woman wants it to

be over well to be honest there is some accuracy to that part that's where he got his points that's about the time that for women who a lot of women experience pain, which is why they fake orgasm or they're over it. They're like, thank God he came, he scared her away. But it's a feeling of intense pleasure that arrives during any sexual activity. And it may or may not be followed with ejaculation. It may or may not happen with ejaculation for men and for women. And so, and it could be a mental orgasm. You can think yourself to an orgasm.

You know, you can physically have an orgasm. There's a lot of different ways of basically just intense pleasure during physical activity is the technical definition. Can you orgasm without sex being involved? Can you like be a runner and just be like, oh, and then just. You can have an orgasm at the gym. There's like, there's like oh and then just you can have an orgasm with the gym there's like there's like gymgasms you can have an orgasm that's what i call them that's what i call them the gymgasms you can you can have it you can have an orgasm with this gym

or any gyms we're all good we're all good blokes jimmy kimmel t-shirt idea right there yeah there you go so you can have gym. Can you have one? I imagine there's horse riding, obviously. That would be a big one. Walking. Walking? Who has an orgasm walking? I've definitely heard of it.

I saw a video once of a woman giving birth who had one. Is that common? Yes, that is common. You can think yourself to orgasm. There's women who can just sit and think about an orgasm and have one because our brain is the most powerful sex organ. Oh, yeah. That's pretty normal.

I wonder it's so hard for me to have them these days. Four stages of, what are the four stages of sexual response? Jim said arousal, titillation, erection, wetness. Thank you. We can throw texting in there just in case it is the answer. Yeah, there's some, but we're talking, it's desire. So we're having that desire. For most men, I don't know how much you guys want me to get into this.

For most men, it's spontaneous, right? And this is the problem. If you guys want to teach a little moment here, the challenge. So it's desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution are the four stages that are coined. But the thing about desire, so the first thing is you have to be in the mood for sex. And for most men, it's spontaneous. Like you see your wife, for example, and you're like, oh, we know that you're turned on. Men get an erection.

But for women, we're more responsive. So we respond to you telling, you know, telling your partner she's hot or telling her, kissing, making out, foreplay. So the problem is that men are frying pans and women are like slow cookers. So I could be, you could see me and be like, oh, my partner could say, I'm so turned on i'm ready to go i'm like i can see that i said but i didn't even see you walk in i'm sitting here working i'm not thinking about it so you gotta warm women up is my point so that's not that's not a good system though is it because we're we're going at different speeds right so gay guys are gonna made in the shade right like one of them goes i'm fucking horny and he goes

i wasn't oh a penis i'm into it as well right and they off they go right that's like that's a better system and and with men and women if if you're like having to take time and we're spontaneously doing it we're not on the same level and then lesbians how do they ever have sex like i don't mean that it's not that women are never in the mood it's just that men men can be ready to go seeing a picture and women just need you to be like okay get away from work mode or whatever is going on in your brain you gotta kiss you and stuff like that what a bummer you have to do foreplay you look nice today like just calm us for like 10 minutes i think that's the problem there's like this gap that women so many women we

just need to settle we need to get in the mood you need to like do the dishes or whatever it is that turns you on yeah women women get involved weird things if you do certain house chores they like it but then if you do if you do too many of them they think you're a bitch right like no there is in my experience it's like you do the dishwasher, you're good, you vacuum. God, that's lame. That's horrible, right? But then you fix something on the car, you're all in. Or you take care of a job very quickly that they've been waiting to do. Opening a jar can get you sex all day.

Opening a jar can do it all day. But as soon as you start having to tap it under a knife or put it under the tap, you're not going to do that. They're so easy to turn off you you're they're into you and then they're off you yeah my girlfriend likes to watch me do things she told me that like tasks and things so yeah i guess maybe that's part of it yeah i would assume it depends on their love language too if you're doing acts of service for your partner and that's how they receive love it'll turn them on i've dated girls that had wanted nothing not when they liked me

enough to come out on a date or the second date but really weren't into me and then you take them to a stand-up show and then when they see like a thousand people cheer for you then all of a sudden you're sexually attractive talent is insanely sexy they could have watched it on fucking tv but the t it didn't interest them to but then when they see it live, there's something triggers it. There's energy in the room. As soon as you walk off stage, they want to have sex with you. Yeah. But then that all fades very quickly.

That fades within 30 minutes of being off stage when you're overly drunk and you're rolling around on the floor. So it's you. I asked Jim, what does your brain release upon orgasm? He said serotonin. Is that correct? Yes. Oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine. He's right. All the feel good hormones. Oxytocin. We talked about that a couple of podcasts ago. Yeah, oxytocin is the love chemical. Oh, there you go. You just said it. It was like, you were right. You may not be able to answer this question, but why is it so hard to come when you're on MDMA or ecstasy?

I'm being serious. Or cocaine. Why is it so hard to come then? Is that because we've already got too much serotonin and endorphins in our head? That trying to match up with that is difficult? Yeah, it's sort of hijacking part of our brain. And so it's not operating. And it is.

It's hijacking serotonin and dopamine and all those things. And our mind is altered. So we're not present with our partner we're not able to experience our normal breath patterns our normal states of arousal you know there's just we're not able to get as aroused turned on wet oh i was able to get aroused i just can't come it's like it's like my body's got all the serotonin in its head and then i'm trying to dump more in it my body's empty and then it's like scotty from star trek going i'm giving it all she can and i'm just i'm just busting my dick up like they reckon they reckon that most injuries to penises have self-inflicted right because like if i have like if i if i'm on a weekend and i'm staying in a hotel and i'm you know i'm being a good guy and i'm going back to my hotel at night.

And I tell her, I miss me so much. At the end of like a long weekend, my dick's beaten up, man. I come back and it's just like purple with like one eye just saying, ah, I'm not happy. You should have one eye, Justina. That happens with drugs. It's kind of a downside, but I guess the upside is the upside of drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The upside. Drugs will do. There are upsides. guess the upside is the upside of drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The upside.

Drugs will do. There are upsides. Let's do a positive thing on drugs. I like at the beginning of the question, Jim's like, no, I'm serious. Because people started to laugh. It's like, this is some serious research I'm doing here. Post-nut clarity. Jim described this as you have evil thoughts during sex and afterwards a flood of regret. Not evil. He said your brain's a little evil and then you come on her in sex and afterwards you have a flood of regret.

Not evil. He said your brain's a little evil and then you come on her in some way and you get a flood of regret. I'm sorry, I'll get you a towel. When you're having sex, you can say dirty things. You can even say mean things to your partner and they can say it back. You can call someone a dirty bitch. And you can't do that during your regular walking around day to day.

And, of course, you can only – The time for answering questions is over. You can only do that if the person as well is reciprocating to it. I'm not saying... But then as soon as you come, you feel remorse and regret where you go, oh, that was a bit harsh. Yeah, same thing. People have that with like the porn that they watch

where it's like, oh, this is especially dirty. And then you come and you're like, what the fuck was I doing? You can't turn the porn off fast enough. There's like a gangbang. And like no one's ever like come and you're like, what the fuck was I doing? You can't turn the porn off fast enough. There's like a gangbang. And no one's ever come and then thought, well, we'll see how this concludes. Okay. So that being said, Emily, can you just say, can you talk to us about post-nut clarity? Let's see if he does buy the house.

We'll look at other options. Yeah. Here's what happens after orgasms for women too, is that you have that, well, after you've been orgasming, you've got endorphin. This is where you get the big endorphin rush. And so, and that leads you to more clarity, to more brain clarity, to more focus, to more feel good, to feeling. So your brain is, it's come out of a state where it's not as conscious, like parts of your brain shut down during arousal and then you orgasm and it all comes back into focus and you're just a lot clearer some people don't feel that dread some people feel elation after orgasm but there are some people who feel like horrible

after they orgasm too so i don't i don't feel horrible i just feel the prayer so why did i have sex with this person so yeah that can happen so jim needs help is what you're saying yeah so we don't all feel that every other no she's saying most people feel elation like good the clarity is good no no no my job is telling people that they're okay and normal because everything is is okay i think it's a survival mechanism. You've got to get out of the room, find your shoes. Off you go. You're normal, Jim. You're okay.

I'm normal, okay. You've been in a bunch of horrible situations. Do you feel it now, being married? I don't feel it with my wife, no. I don't feel that afterwards with my wife. Sometimes if her mother listens, if we're watching porn together, I still feel I don't know

hello Becca hello hi mom okay well there now you're you're you're progressing

but I still feel it by myself so you know but a lot of the shame people feel about porn is I think it's because there's shame and taboo around it but if you guys

are watching it together I would say that could be something hot yeah yeah we watch it together but you still want to turn it off you don't want to leave it on all bloody day in the background cliffhanger like yeah for the for the rest of the bloody day it's on in the background and you're trying to get things done helping out with the homework oh don't worry we just didn't turn the telly off um i forgot to ask this question, so I'll ask it now, and then you can say whether he's right or not. What's a G spot, and what does G stand for?

All right, okay. G is there's a spot if you go up into the vagina. She's laying on her back. You go into the vagina, and you reach up, and some women seem to have it more profoundly than others. It's a little tiny sort of lump that seems to be filled with liquid or something like that. What is it?

If you rub it a bit, that can make the woman squirt. But not all women. There's some women who go bananas for the G spot, and then others that are like, what are you doing? You go, I'm doing the upper-indie scratchy motion. The come-hither. The come-hither one like that. The come-hither.

Yeah, I'm doing that one. And then when it doesn't work on some women, they just look at you like you're a moron. Then other women are like, ah, he knows. move what does the g stand for uh g that was good all right emily how'd you do there he did well he did well um the g spot is actually called the g area because women first off not every it's not in the same place for every woman so it's more like a gray area um it is, oh, look what I have here. It is inside about two inches inside. You're right. For many women, it helps to already be aroused to, it's an area that becomes swollen and more engorged after a woman's already turned on. It helps to have a clitoral orgasm first.

And yes, when there is more pressure applied, women can squirt. However, not every woman is going to be able to orgasm that way. Hence, going back to the problem that women often feel that something's wrong with them, that having a clitoral orgasm is inferior to an internal orgasm. And just some women don't have the nerve endings there. Some women, we can get to this on the next question, how the clitoris and the, I believe that the clitoris and the G-spot are all connected because there's internal clitoral nerves. So that's the next question is about the clitoris. The other reason I'm on a mission to rebrand sex all around, but the G stands for Grafenberg, a doctor said who found that he found the g spot and named it

the g spot after himself a man who doesn't even have yeah it's still better than that asperger's we talked we talked about that on the autism episode it's like doctors should stop naming things after themselves yeah oh yeah yeah yeah my my uh my old doctor back in Australia, Dr. Lumpy Cunt, he invented a thing. He's got a spit tank. There was one thing that you said that was interesting, but one thing that I actually remember is it's better to have a clitoral orgasm before the G-spot orgasm because I never knew that one. I was going straight for the G-spot or straight for the clitoral.

Sometimes I lucked out and got the right combo. Should we just? Yeah, yeah. Next question was what is a clitoris? Where is it? We can talk about the clitoris. Go for it. If you guys are listening to this episode,

you should turn this off and go watch on YouTube because we're getting a demonstration right now. We're getting a demonstration not on my clitoris, but on the global puppet. Put it away what are you doing this is a family podcast okay this is very exciting because i love most people don't know this is like a thrill for me so um jim you were right that the clitoris is under the under this is the

clitoral hood right and for some women who get turned on they the clitoral hood can retract and then you kind of, and you were right, don't go right for the clitoris. You want to sort of tease it and go around it. Now these, this is the labia, this is the external labia here, right? The labia majora and then the labia minora, right? So the clitoris is here, right? We get, so it helps to have a clitoral orgasm because what happens is you have an orgasm, then all of these areas become, they swell. And I'm going to show you something else here. This is actually a 3D clitoris. Oh, wow. So the clitoris has internal clitoral nerves.

The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, and they extend deep behind the labia internally. So I believe the G- G spot is an extension of internal clitoral nerves. And when you become aroused, all of it, just the blood, the blood is rushing and it just becomes more engorged, which isn't a very sexy word, but that's what happens. And so since it's engorged, you're easier to find the G spot. But for many women, if you just go in there and you start poking around, like you're digging for change, like that's going to hurt. Sometimes you find it.

Sometimes you find it. Makes it all worthwhile. You get a reward. You get a gumball. This is actually what it looks like. And most people don't know that the clitoris has legs. And the legs, that's the legs. So they're inside.

And there's 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris and 4,000 in the circumcised penis. So it's not just the pee bit. It's the little legs that go down behind. All right. So, okay. Yes, I know. Okay. I'm confident on that. Now, can't wait for my wife to get home.

Most people don't know this stuff. So you're not. I actually knew most of it, but I didn't know that you meant to come from the clitoris first. If I know the first to the second now, I'm making moves here, people. Let me say one thing. For some women, women who are very orgasmic, women who can have a lot of orgasms, which is only 20% during intercourse. Only 20% of women have orgasms with a penis. Of those women, sometimes for many of those's very it's too sensitive to touch their

clitoris because the clitoral the clitoris is closer to the vaginal opening women's whose clitoris is an inch or more closer to the vaginal opening have more sensitivity does that make sense because that's what i'm saying all the nerves are related so for some women they're like don't touch my clitoris just get it in and for many women they want what i'm saying is get the clitoris on board and then everyone else will be ready to party there's so i there i feel like there's a wider i don't know actually there's some women who can just orgasm just by you you're talking to them you know like they're very easy to make orgasm and they can orgasm multiple times and some of them you can't make orgasm at all and for men i feel like i was a premature ejaculator right up until i was like 21 and then i had a sweet maybe two years and now i just fuck i have to really focus i have to you

know what i mean so it's like there was never a uniform thing for me is that sort of how men go or is that yeah i mean i think it's a problem and well so there's a lot of men who premature ejaculate like it's usually a minute why is that a problem when women premature ejaculate we're like i'm the king look what i've done i'm premature ejaculate like when men do it it's like there's a sense of shame what's wrong with having like five orgasms in a day what's the big well it's a problem because you come and then you're done yeah but like normally turn on netflix then you then we're like go to sleep yeah yeah yeah but then they but then they can fuck you again and they're the second refractory period so if guys were really good at if they came first and

then they're like all right i'll focus on you now we're going to pleasure you then i don't think women would complain oh i was that's when i was the best at it no because i was like i was like i better really i better really pick up my shame here and put some effort in i was first if she comes first which is a great book by dr ian kerner then you don't have to worry about then you come all you want but as long as she's pleased sometimes or or the other way you know it's all either way make sure she comes i guess so that's uh or afterwards but some men are like i'm done sometimes sometimes you have sex with someone you've had a lot of sex with and the two of you just call it quits halfway through you go i don't worry about it we'll call it i owe you we'll call it even it It's a draw. I want to connect to one thing you said about,

does this happen for men? Yeah, I think it varies over time. Like sometimes you come quickly and sometimes you can't come at all. And so you said, why does it happen? I think that sometimes we're not in the moment during sex and we're in our heads or we're stressed or we're anxious and we're worried something's going to happen

and then it happens or we don't feel it's connected to our partner. And so that's the practice of being present and communicating with your partner before sex, what you actually are into and what you like. And most people don't ever ask their partner. So when you're saying that you're with women and they typically don't want it or they're done or whatever, I, what I found is that, you you know we're all responsible for our own orgasm and i'm not comfortable asking for what they want or they or and or they don't know what they want yeah i used to do a joke about that saying that i'm the one who makes me come yeah it's it's my thoughts and little things i think i think until recently though there's been a

surge recently of women being empowered and asking for what they want during sex but like that's fucking new like if if men if men work throughout the process going like what do you like what do you want me to do i think women would speak up but it's it feels like judgy and weird to be like do this different thing well he just cut me off right before I came. Just on a personal note, I know this is off topic a little bit. How much wanking is too much wanking? I Googled this recently and I think I'm doing it too much. Well, what makes you – okay, so great. So tell me what part of you – why do you think it's too much? Can you give me an example of what makes you feel like it's too much?

I read online that you should do it like three times a week i do it like twice a day twice a day i masturbate sort of once in the morning once at night and then another couple of times are there consequences have you experienced any consequences for example it's harder for you to actually have sex with your wife or you're not as a right no that hasn't that hasn't bothered me no you're fine and i i don't do that much when she's home if she's away i i do that much or if i'm on the road i do that much yeah two times a day fine i mean listen even if there's only a problem with masturbation if too much you know jacking off is if there's a consequence like i can't go to work

i can no longer get turned on by a human i have to keep escalating the porn i'm watching to a level where it's so intense and because i'm no longer turned on by the threesome it's a gangbang and there's violent or whatever and you feel really bad and you get this that thing that comes over you that post nut whatever or even depression then we're like okay well maybe it is maybe it is becoming a problem well when i've failed at becoming a problem what i've done is i've backed off on the porn and i've tried to go back to very simplistic or i've stopped watching it for a week until my brain resets and i've done i've done that a few times in life one time i gave up porn for about four months and then i could get aroused by an ankle you know i was like oh like that right and then so so i can reset it but but then you know i have bad apaches with the porn which i'm not proud of well it's okay we all have we all have our things right but i think if it's

not really a problem but what i love that you said is that you've actually had times where you didn't and you and you felt maybe more in touch with your body and less like you needed porn right like it became a thing it's like any kind of thing that is self-soothing actually when we orgasm or we grab a drink or a cigarette or all the things that we do to deal with emotions, anxiety. So that's why a lot of people do it. But if you actually know now that that four days of abstaining or whatever, play with that. Just like everything else, like play with that. like everything else like play with that like going back to the og let me think about something and actually get turned down by it or i'm gonna have

i'm gonna have a week off this week i thought you were gonna say i'm gonna have a wank right now everyone stay tuned to come in and hear me go shut up jack you know what you're talking about uh you mentioned that the g-spot was named after a doctor that was a man and that that that I could see whether that be problematic for women to have it. What would be your option or what are alternatives that people are thinking? You said it's there's a movement to change that or is it? I mean, I it's I have a movement. I'm starting moving. But no, I think that there was a reason. Actually, I think Cosmo magazine did something recently to like is the G-spot real.

And I think it's more about this whole thing about internal clitoral. I think it should just be called the, you know, the clitoris. What I would love is like education around what the clitoris is and that you have to understand how to, how the parts work. Right. Like, let me understand my own body. I used to think that men knew everything about my body and I didn't even have to learn. But once I started exploring, that's why masturbation is a huge factor in understanding our bodies. Then you'll realize that like, oh, it's all orgasm. It's all the same thing. But most of us don't even take time to experiment and realize like, oh, because like,

I'm not, I'm going to keep bringing this back. I'm going to keep touching myself. I'm going to use toys and fingers and different lubes and just try to what what feels good to me so i just want to call it an orgasm we don't have a camera on jack in here jack is but he is getting into he's nodding his head yes and no for this entire podcast so far just a little background he's only had sex what twice jack or once no two, three times two women. He's inexperienced with it. But he's like, when you're like, I used to think men knew everything about my body. He's like, no.

He's shaking his head no. And then he's like, yes. It's really getting learned. I took a picture of him earlier. You were doing the demo on the vulva. Why are you filming me? His mouth was agape. So I will DM that to you on Instagram so you can see it.

I did catch myself. He's DMing. That's amazing. He's easy. I know. ape so i will dm that to you on instagram so you can catch myself i was i was back in my mind i was like i bet you're filming me right now i was laughing so hard um okay back to the questions what makes a female orgasm different than a male orgasm jim said um that uh where is it oh i don't even know where that part is. Which one? He said they don't happen as often. They don't produce semen, doesn't help with childbirth, and women's orgasms are for a bit of fun.

Yeah, it's pretty accurate. Well, you know, they're not that different, to be honest. They have the same four stages of arousal and you still get, you know, they involve blood flow to the genitals, they involve sexual pleasure, and they can involve climax or orgasm at the end. And the difference is that women's orgasms tend to,

and women can also ejaculate. Not every time men are more likely to ejaculate. So they're actually very similar. One of the main differences is that women's orgasms last longer. So like a female orgasm is like between like 13 and 51 seconds and and i had to look at the 10 to 30 seconds for a man 10 to 10 oh my mind feels like it's about four seconds but the other difference is that women's refractory period the time it takes to get aroused again and have another orgasm is a lot quicker than men's men's refractory period can take a lot longer. That's the other reason why some men ejaculate

but can't get it up again. It could take them, some men, as they get older, it could take them 24 hours. It could take them five hours for women. A lot of women can have multiple orgasms, but again, going back to masturbation and self-exploring, women don't think they can. But once you start to kind of realize that it's it actually is

possible for for most women it's pretty awesome you can have multiple multiple multiple orgasms yeah no i've met women who can have several other things and i i get uh i get two in the first hour that's if i'm really if i haven't masturbated for a few days i get two in the first hour and then one every six hours after that orgasm half-life that's what i wrote yeah you so you sort of touched on the percentages before but percentage of women that say they've never orgasmed with a partner and men did you oh god yeah the percentage of women who've never only 20 do i had to look okay so um what was it oh jim Jim said 25%. Yeah.

75% of women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone. I always say it's like 80. So 75% never. Never do. No, you said 25%. You said 25%. You were way off. You have the reverse.

But 75% of women never have orgasm. Yeah. Not with partners. Yeah. You were intercourse. Really? Yeah. What did he say?

What did you say, Jim? I said 25%. Not with intercourse like so like okay so i've dated women that you that they don't have orgasm during intercourse but they do have it when you go down on them so does that count does that count the 75 yeah well the question was during it with a partner no okay you're right i'm talking about penetration only 20 do but if you use your hands your mouth toys fingers we would be more likely to orgasm with a partner so that and the percentage of men jim says two percent but that's

do you know anything yeah um i think that men ejaculate with a partner i think the majority do i didn't yeah i think i i i think you're right 90 probably do yeah refractory phrase we just discussed that what is ejaculation and can women ejaculate she just said yes they can they squirt is the squirt is the squirt piss or is it is it water jim said it's discharge and then he said yeah women can can do it but it's like squirting and he thinks it's piss because i've 100 drank that shit man i've never drank in fucking piss officially am Am I drinking piss? Traces of urine.

It's traces of urine, but they've done studies. It's from the skin's glands. It exits through the urethra, which is where the urine does expel from. That's where our cum comes from. The same thing. Yeah, but it's not. Here's the thing. They have done all these studies because everyone wants to know,

is it pee? What's happening? But they have done a lot of these MRI studies too where women actually, they empty their bladders, they don't have to go to the bathroom, and then they have an orgasm and they have sex, and then it fills up with liquid again. So it's not urine. Actually, it is a female ejaculation.

That's why the clitoris and the penis are so similar. But the thing is that I always say, like, who cares? People are like, oh, it's Pete. Put his towel down. Like, call it a day. But for women, it can be really hot, and I think for partners, too. Oh, I love a girl who can squirt. But I don't like too much of a squirt.

There was this one girl once who used to bloody make a hell of a mess. You can only have sex with her in a bloody hotel room. Yeah, I dated a girl like that. Oh, God. The production. You couldn't sleep in the bed afterwards. Yeah, it was like a cup of water. I'll tell you this about me.

It's always surprised any woman who's ever... I get... Now, I'm not saying that anyone finds this sexy. I get a fucking ton of distance on my cum a ton like like i on the regular come on my own face when i'm laying on my back it shoots shoots back and hits me several times i've hit myself in the mouth with it my headboard in any hotel room is covered with cum and that's just for me laying on my back and shooting over the top of my head there's something weird about making eye contact with you when you say you

come on your face a lot. I've watched a lot of porn. I've shared a lot of hotel rooms with you too. Sorry Forrest. But I get distance. I'm telling you, I could go against any human. It's like if I'm going to

if a girl lets me come on her face or whatever, she has to stand parallel. And wear goggles. She can't go lower. It's not going to drop onto you, right? You've got to be right in the firing line. Fire hose of a dick. We'll get you a trophy.

Is that a good thing? Is that a sign of health? Or is that, am I dying? If it makes you feel good, it's's great i don't think that there's a i think it probably means you have a strong pelvic floor muscles you know men can also do kegel exercises so now i don't know i don't know what it is but it's i'm telling you it's like this idea that people like oh i'll just catch it in my hand and then clean it up no it's all over the joint i really i know and sometimes if I haven't come for a while,

what's that gelatin-like cum that comes out of you? What's all that about? Free cum? Yeah, the one that's like a little chunk of jelly that shoots out. I got told it's okay. Okay. And I've been tested recently for STDs and I'm all good. What color is it?

Does it have an odor? What color is it? No, no, no, it doesn't have an odor. It definitely has a taste, I tell you. Yeah, a lot of – Do you taste it? No, I don't keep it. I give it to the world. Here's a fun fact for the show.

That logo over Jim's shoulder is actually not paint. It's made of cum. So I just made that by jerking off. That was one shot. No, I get a lot of distance. I hear that a lot of men my age start saying, oh, it just dribbles out because they're older. Yeah, true. they're older.

Yeah, true. You're right. You must have a very healthy prostate. That's good. Healthy prostate's good. If you guys want to see Jim coming for distance, I've had prostatuses before, though. I had prostatuses. That was terrible where my prostate swelled up.

It was on the show. Remember, I came in, and one of me testicles swelled up like a fucking grapefruit out of nowhere. I was quite worried about that, and I had to cancel the o'brien show like that day because i couldn't walk out oh yeah yeah i remember that oh shit that was an interesting day at work where's jim oh he's coming blood i remember comedy central sent like a basket with like fruits to make it look like i had an infected prostate for the day. It was terrible. Are women more likely to get pregnant if they orgasm during sex?

Jim said yes, because they widen up. They get wider. Women get a wide on. Wide on. Their canal gets wide to the womb. Yeah, we heard the answer. That's so off of me, to be honest. When a woman organs, she can have these strong muscular contractions that can kind of pull the semen up through the uterus if she has an orgasm.

And so it propels it through the cervix, the uterus. And so they're actually said the upsuck theory is what they call it. That women kind of like suck the, if they have an orgasm, they might be more likely to get pregnant, but it is not necessary. You don't have to have an orgasm to get pregnant. That's why I do the suck back theory after I come. I go down there and go, try to get it all out.

Like snake venom? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hurry before it spreads. It's inclusive. There's not a lot of hard data on this. Hard data. That says it's actually, so I don't want people to get all caught up

on having an orgasm. Although if your partner does ejaculate inside of you and you're trying to get pregnant, you could just use a toy and make sure it's like you do the up stuff. But again, these are all nominal. It would be amazing if women couldn't get pregnant if they didn't orgasm. But no one would be pregnant. Right. We would not have an overpopulation problem at all.

There you go. That's the way to spell it do do women take longer to orgasm jim said yes begrudgingly um what begrudgingly you said oh there's gonna be some answer you're a little bit flipping oh they're going to say something like no they can do it just as quick but that's not the research i've done and also the question i forgot that does wetness help or hinder orgasm so maybe answer if you can answer both those. Oh, yeah. There is an orgasm gap. Men orgasm between six and 10 minutes and women between 20 and 40 minutes to have an orgasm. You know, foreplay is important.

And then also, what was the other question you said? Does wetness help or hinder orgasms? So the more the wetter, the better. But your wetness level, here's a big thing. Your wetness level, though, is not an indicator of arousal. So a woman could be very wet and not turned on. She could be really turned on and not wet. And that is why another one of my missions is a lube on every nightstand.

Use a lube every time because Atkins Institute showed that if you applied lubricant to every sex act, whether using your fingers, your hands, your mouth, women are 80% more likely to orgasm. Wow. Because I don't, a lot of men use lube to masturbate. I don't. I dry hand it. And I feel like sometimes I use the lube to treat myself.

You know, like that's like, I'm talking like three, four times. You dry hand it? I dry hand it. That's why your dick is beat up at the end of a weekend. No, I just have it. And I don't try to go for six minutes. I try to bash it out really quickly when I'm. I have a dinner to get to.

I'm going to send you guys some lube. It's a big bottle. Like, just get a big bottle of lube and use it every time. You don't want a dry hand job. I mean, do you? Unless you do. No. I just, that's how I've always.

Do you use lube every time? I use something, but it's like's like yeah because you're not just feels like your grandfather just feels like such a production yeah i mean i go dry too yeah just bang bang bang bang bang i thought you masturbated with your tears and also and also i don't say that on air kelly it lets my dick appreciate uh vagina it goes all right we just got the hand right now. We'll make the best of a bad situation. Oh, you don't want to make your hand too enticing. No, I don't want my hand to do too good a job

because then no one else will be involved. I'll just retire in a fucking village. Can we help Jim with some euphemisms for orgasm? He said, come, wizzle, wazzle. Yeah, those were good. I mean, those were actually, I'm trying to think of what else. You like wizz come, wizzle wazzle. Yeah, those were good. I mean, those were actually, I'm trying to think of what else. You like wizzle wazzle? Climax is another word.

Wizzle wazzle is one now. What else is there? He got busted nut. Busted nut. Climax. There you go. Getting off. Getting off, yeah.

No wrong answers. How about euphemisms for, what did you say, for orgasm? euphemisms for masturbation? Those are really funny. Oh, yeah. Flicking the bean. Flicking the bean. Having a wank. Jerking off.

Pounding the pud. Pink canoe. Finger painting. Getting lost in the deep end fanning the fur what is that under carriage fanning the fur visiting the bat cave diddling miss daisy oh yes like driving miss daisy yeah that one's good i think i saw an old movie where they said i have to go see a man about a horse Yes Isn't there flogging something? There's a flogging in there somewhere Yeah having a flog

Having a wank Having a jerk In a thing It's my own time Yeah Jim's penis should be named The purple headed yogurt slicker now The one that I used to say when I was in high school,

I don't need you, Janice, you fucking bitch. That was my nickname for wanking because she broke up with me and I was pretty angry about the whole thing. Oh, I thought your dick was named Janice. Have you ever named your dick? No. Stopping the peach. I don't know.

Paddling the pink canoe. Did I say that? That's the old joke. Why do men name their penises? Because they don't want a stranger making decisions for them. Wait, you name your penis? I'd call my penis little Elvis because he's got hair growing on the side like sideburns. I got some lower shaft hairs I have to deal with on the regular with a manscape.

He's called Jim at manscaped guy well uh do women name their vaginas no well i don't i mean i don't i don't think they do it women don't even look at their vaginas or like the vagina it's another mission like take a look it's no women didn't pick their vagina out of a lineup but could men pick their penis out of a lineup i don't know out of a lineup i don't know i could probably i could definitely pick my vagina out of a lineup. I don't know. Out of a lineup? I don't know. I could probably pick it out. I could definitely pick my vagina out of a lineup. Good. See? A lot of women don't look.

They don't want to look at it, so they definitely don't name it. They're like, it's not here. It's a lot harder to look at. I specifically look at my vagina in the mirror. I don't look at anything else. That's it. Your face is like, what? Do you get a hand mirror and go down?

No, I just use the floor length. I don't just lie down. And you walk over it like a person on a trench? Yeah. Just to say hey every morning. Well, you got two on the back. Oh, I like a good-looking vagina. Yeah.

Do you want a nickname for your vagina? Sure. Cum bucket? Cum dumpster. Do you want something a bit more girly and feminine? Sure, yeah.

I think she does. Let's call it Louise. I like cum bucket better. Are there any health benefits to orgasming? Jim said yes. Prostate relief and calms women down. Some of that is true. It does help. It helps with anxiety. It can help lower the risk of prostate cancer and men it helps with our mood it can help with pms can improve our skin um it has natural painkillers in it how can it improve your skin is that is that a fallacy that that it moisturizes

skin semen or you just oh some people say it does i don't know sometimes i come on my stomach and then in the morning i wake up with burn marks it can't be good that's god punishing you she doesn't mean she doesn't mean rubbing it on your face you gotta put up the cigarettes feeling of orgasm you have that you have that intense all the feel good like feel good hormone cocktail of you know dopamine serotonin um all those things and it's like people say you're glowing when you have those things. Yeah. So they can help you in the, you know, help boost your immunity, your immune system when you have an orgasm.

So there's a lot of health benefits. I mean, I think that that's something that people, especially women, I would feel like, you know, remind them, like, remember to masturbate. It's good. It helps your mood. Like men, I'm like, I don't have to remind men. I'm like, dude, you're at Walgreens.algreens like put it away they're masturbating all the time it's like they forget i'm like remember it feels good try it so then that's why i think if you're having depression

like have an orgasm every day you know like it does you that moment you get that release it's like like i'm taking a prozac but it's you know orgasm all right just a couple more questions we didn't get to uh we talked what percentage of people use sex toys you know that number is growing i would say they say about six i think the study i just had to say about 65 percent of women have used toys i think it was women and men have used it 65 to 70% now. 15 years ago it was 50%. But now it's about 70% and a lot of people use them together too. So of the women who have used it, it was like 60% and of those like 70% have used it with them.

Do you think the uptick in that is because of online shopping? No, I'm serious because before that people didn't want to go into stores and buy these things. I think it's online shopping. I think that toys have become a lot better. They're made of body-safe materials. They're rechargeable, waterproof. But, yeah, everything's online.

You don't have to walk into a store and feel awful about yourself, although there are some stores. There's a shop in Britain that I never understood why it didn't take off around the world because it's massive in the UK. It's called Ann Summers. And Ann Summers is on every high street just next to the normal store. And it's a sex toy and lingerie store just for women. You can be a man and go in there and buy a gift or something, but it's for women, female

staff, female-owned, female-owned. And so the idea is that women had no shame walking in there. And it was always packed. I think they're still going strong to this day. Why hasn't that business model taken over America? Because that is just the Christians or whatever, because the secret to their success was just putting it next to all high-end shops. So it'd be next to a news agency, next to a thing, next to a clothing store, and it would just be ants,

and they market themselves just to women. I think we're more puritanical. I think that there are more laws about it. There's more restrictions. I mean, I grew up in San Francisco. I was there a long time. It's like good vibrations. There was like five of them around the city.

That was a big deal. We have Babeland in Los Angeles. New York, there's a few Babelands., but yeah, it's not like Ann Summers, which I think it, I think it should be. And I think that, that women too, we don't celebrate it enough. I mean, the first time we ever saw a vibrator on television was with sex in the city, like 20 years ago,

the rabbit episode where Charlotte couldn't leave her house. Cause she got the rabbit vibrator. That was like, that was like mind blowing to people. Like that was what the 90s, late nineties,s early 2000s that was in the early 2000s because i was living in britain when that happened and ann summers that was the number one christmas gift that year was the rabbit and they had them flying up the shelves they just had walls of these rabbits ever since that episode and and and every woman owned a rabbit they would all talk about them quite openly and i remember i was at that stage in my you know mid-20s or whatever and i remember just being gobsmacked by the whole thing

thinking oh this is really happening now women are they're going for it exactly and i think that that women are also realizing that that the stigma is you know dying away that there's some kind of inferior orgasm that every orgasm is supposed to happen with a penis i mean the truth is like your penis doesn't vibrate like think your body parts don't know about that if i've been if i've been drinking a lot the night before i got the dt's anything can happen like like so it's not like it's not like someone fucks michael j fox and they have the best orgasm of their life like it doesn't have to vibrate i'm telling you and it feels different he's not vibrating oh my god i think if michael j fox is listening he'd enjoy that joke a good good parkinson's gang moving on um uh i had i i mentioned this yesterday when we talked about sex witches,

about an article that I had read about women being able to cast spells through orgasms or sex. Do you know anything about that, Jim? I know a lot of witches. I've pronounced it differently, but I know. So that's a thing. I guess I was. I read an article about it, and it's got to be true. It's on the internet.

Sex witches? Yeah, it's about harnessing sexual energy at the time of orgasm and manifesting what you want or thinking about something that you want to happen. It's just the power of your mind. But when you're having an orgasm, you are in an elevated state, which maybe you're closer to spirit or God or whatever you believe in. And this is what the sex witches believe,

is that you are harnessing and cultivating all of your sexual energy at that moment if you have powerful thoughts or you're all orgasming together with a bunch of women you'd have more uh power more ability to make whatever it is you want happen happen so here's something no one's ever come making love have they that's not a thing like no i'm being serious here i'm being serious it's like making love jim you start making love making love is like you go and you look in each other's eyes and go like everyone ends fucking you always end up fucking you never you some people may not start fucking, but everyone ends fucking. Like, really, the pounding is the whatever it is. But making love, no one's ever orgasmed with compliments and their hair being stroked, have they?

That's a bit creepy. That's like my love language. That's the majority of women, actually. Okay, I don't want to say that. Many women are more likely to orgasm if you compliment them, tell them they're beautiful, slowly touch their face and kiss them. Women have romantic, passionate fetishes. They crave that.

So actually, yes. And that jackhammer pounding is not how most women are going to orgasm. I don't know about that. Wow. There's a theory that so pornography has ruined men's brains because we watch too much of it and that's what we think sex is like and now women's brains have been ruined by romantic movies romantic comedies the movies like the notebook and stuff like that because they believe that that is what romance is meant to be like and that has given an inflated sense of that

is there any truth to that or can you speak to that i mean is there truth to it we can cover the porn thing first i think that porn the problem with porn i'm a fan of porn for titillation for you like with your partner figuring out what turns you on and everything in moderation is cool the problem with porn is that it's the proliferation of porn is it's available now and kids are seeing it like eight years old oh that's that's terrible. Yeah. We're assuming that that's what sex actually is. Like it's a blueprint. Like here is how sex happens. You know, it's like learning to drive, but like watching fast and the furious and being like, okay, I know, you know, sex doesn't happen that way. And it is in our minds. We're thinking, Oh,

like I'm looking at porn going like, you're nowhere near her clitoris. Like that doesn't feel good. That is not an orgasm. So that's a lot of misinformation that now we have to unlearn, but no one's telling young people or anybody that it's not real. Or then our brains get linked up with associating that, that whatever we say in porn is real. So that's the problem there. I don't think the romance novels are rude. Our women are seeing, and again, not because I'm a woman, I'm just saying like, I think that women crave connection and they want to be seen and they want to feel like they are the most, that's why a lot of women have like fantasies, like the four sex fantasies, like, because we want someone to desire us and want us so badly. They can't help but be like, grab us and

take us and woo us. So I think that that's the, and there's a lot of reasons for why women want that intensity and that romance and that affection and there's a lot of reasons for why women want that intensity and that romance and that affection. There's many theories. Like again, for some women, they don't feel safe enough to, if they, if they're a sexual being and they come out and ask for what they want, they're afraid they're going to be shamed or seen as a slut. So if someone just takes them aggressively and wants them so bad,

it's like my hand was out of this. I just had to accept his love for me. There's also just a feeling safe thing when women feel safe they're more likely to have orgasms so they want us to be dangerous and take them and feel safe for the first time not a complicated bunch pretty easy thing um before we go emily we like to do something what we call dinner party facts, where our guests will give us a fact or some sort of interesting tidbit that our listeners and watchers can use. If, you know, this topic comes up in conversation. Do you have anything? I do have something around the election. So I think this is today is the election. The election. Yeah, this is coming up. Election day. I have a very special party favor party party.

That that that that Republicans are more likely to have fantasies about cuckolding and partner swapping. They're more likely to think about someone having sex with their wife or their partner. And Democrats are more likely to fantasize about bondage, discipline, sadomasochism, or power play. Oh, wow. That makes sense. I'm a bit more Republican. That's a good one. I like that one.

Thank you. That does make sense, though, because you're always, like, yelling about, like, you know, that's why the Republicans are yelling cuck because they're the cucks. Yeah, exactly. And then also they're being told that it's really wrong. There's so many, many Republicans are people who come from a very strong religious background. They're told that they have to sex is wrong and to repress it. And so as a result of that, as a result of really big repression and not being open to express, they're more likely to go

the other way and say what would be the worst thing ever if someone else sleeps with my wife and the democrats are always like be nice to everybody and try to everybody get out of here you slut all right yeah um yeah i could do the cuckold thing and i could do and i could all i i but i don't like being called a maggot or anything myself. You don't want to be dominated. I would never be, I would never like to be dominated. We have to lick someone's shoes or some shit like that. I'm not, I'm not down for some financial domination. I'm trying to get into that.

What is that one? It's where you just yell at people and tell them to send you money. I've tried to do that every week. Yeah. I pay child support. You are being financially dominated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I pay child support. You are being financially dumb. Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about that.

Well, Emily Morse, thank you for being here. Everybody, please listen to Emily Morse's radio show on SiriusXM. It's called Sex with Emily. Buy her book, Hot Sex, Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. And go to her website, sexwithemily.com. You can find everything there. Or follow her on Instagram, at sexwithemily. Thank you for being here.

Thank you for being on the show, Emily. You were a delight. I'm sorry if I was a bit naive at times there. She was saying you should come on her show. On my podcast. I actually do a show on Sirius Five Nights a Week, but I also have a podcast, Sex With Emily. It's all called Sex With Emily across the board.

100%. You asked me. I'm there. I'll come whenever you want. I'll go. There you go. Look i'm there i'll come whenever you want i'll go there you go look at that i'm doing the jokes again thank you so much this is really fun thanks thank you thank you bye-bye so you think this show is over everyone well it's not take it away kelly bear so uh you guys may know that jack and i have a podcast with tommy caprio called Unsolicited. And we used to do this segment in the beginning episodes of our podcast where Jack reads erotica because it's very uncomfortable to hear him do that. So we figured with this topic, why not throw it in here?

Jack reads erotica. Take it away, Luis, with the theme music by my friend Dustin Robinson. way, Luis, with the theme music by my friend Dustin Robinson. This is named The Rubdown. It's on PenrosePress.com. Wait, you read this over the music? Yeah. It's nice. It's sexy.

I had to cut it down because it was a very long piece of erotica. Okay, read the erotica, Jack. It's called The Rubdown. Finally, I saw a marquee sign standing tall over the sidewalk covered in names there was a small strip mall and inset from the street and this huge sign was there to let passerbys know what shopping opportunities lay hidden off the main road sure enough my hidden gem of rub you long time was there about two-thirds down the list was right next to Foe Reel

and, oddly enough, Pizza Hut. Now, cut to the massage. There's a lot of deal-making. What kind of erotica is that? I got a boner. This is just a gogget at Robin's hug. Her hand inched higher and higher and all at once I started

to worry that maybe my cock had already leaked some pre-comp. And she was about to get a handful of cold goo. But just as quickly as the thought entered my head, it was gone as I felt a finger just barely grazed the head of my cock. Why do you keep stuttering on cock? What is that? Just grazed the head of my cock. Ooh, hello, big boy.

I heard her giggle. I lifted my hips again to give her a better angle to touch me. You're not going to do that in the Asian voice, Jeff? No. She didn't bite. After a quick slide of her fingers down my shaft, she got back to massaging the rest of my leg. You stutter on every euphemism for dick.

You're like, down my shaft. Moments after that, her hand was gone entirely. Uh-oh, I thought. I took it too far. Was overeager, and now I'm not going to get my happy ending. To make matters worse, I felt the towel descend back onto my rear. Is it okay, she asked. Isn't he facing with his back?

I'm not sure. I'm not sure of the geography. Is okay, she asked as she lightly ran a finger up my his back I'm not sure I'm not sure the geography is okay she asked as she lightly ran a finger up my shaft that voice was closer you got rid of it

in a sentence no there is no it you went is okay it says is okay it's written I'm not making things up yes I said

this time unable to contain my eagerness Coco lingered I guess her name's Coco Coco lingered on the head of my penis with one finger, swirling it around for a few moments. That's a long name.

Her smile was pure mischief. She turned and went back to the pump bottle of oil, and just as she was about to pump, she turned and walked up to me, leaning her face right into my ear. Close eyes, she whispered. Oh, yeah, now you know the voice. Yeah, might as well be. I slid my hand up her milky frame

and grabbed her left breast. Her mouth was warm and wet. Her tongue swirled and danced wildly around my rock-hard member. Wait a minute, is she going from just, now she's just sucking it? Yeah, I cut some parts out. This thing was too long.

As her soft lips pouted up and down, her lips slid firmly back and forth across my shaft my shaft created it's funny that he doesn't have my own things but he didn't do it on a breast touch my breast and then my soft shaft created a single sealed hold on i gotta do this her lips slid firmly back and forth across my shaft creating a single sealed point of spherical pressure that felt more intense than any pussy i had ever fucked there we go do you do you try to do it like more central no this okay no no no uh she held my hand by the wrist and placed it back against her abdomen slowly slowly moving it down down her now glistening stomach oh she wants me to finger her i thought well i guess that's cool i thought that was the most real that you got there that's

exactly i imagine you're saying that's how oh i guess that's what i have to do figuring her was never really something i figuring was never really something i was That's exactly how I imagine you saying it. Oh, I guess that's what I have to do now. Figuring was never really something I was into. Vaginas, for the most part, were just a hole for me to stick my dick into. This is erotic. I'm so fucking wet right now. I moved my hand down her belly button and felt something tap against the back of my hand. She slid my hand down further still, and I felt something hard sticking out of her.

My eyes flew open, and my head jerked up to discover that Coco had a cock that was just as hard as mine. The last time I had touched a cock other than my own, I was about 12 years old. And now that I'm 13 things are very different the neighbor kid Peter used to play porno with me And we would each take turns pretending to be a woman who was jerking the guy off just turning into a letter to his therapist This has gone off the rails. I looked up at Coco went Peter She reached her hand around and started reaching for my asshole again um oh god i'm gonna come after five full shotgun blasts have come my orgasm finally receded an unbelievable amount of energy that had been built up over the last half hour was finally spent and i was drained coco removed her lips from my cock,

and I swallowed my semen in a single swallow. She climbed off the table and looked at me and said, Is okay? I smiled, my lips still humming from the power surge. Want to go to Pizza Hut? That's a better button. All I could say was yes. That's it for the blue car.

I had to return the favor. Wow. Jack, that's the one you chose, huh? Yeah. On our podcast, I would always choose them and try to pick like ridiculous ones.

I'm surprised you picked that one. Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel Jack? Horrible. Why? Why do you feel horrible for? I'm sweating a lot.

That was perfect. Great job, Jack. Well, that's our podcast. If you're ever getting a massage and you feel another cock in the room, do the right thing. Give unto others as you would give to yourself and then say, I don't know about that. Good night, Australia.

Hey, everybody. Jason Ellis here from the Jason Ellis Show podcast, reminding you that my podcast, new episodes every Wednesday, downloadable where all podcasts are available. Come see my friends, Michael and Kevin, as we talk to you about what's awesome, what sucks, fitness, fighting, parenting, life, spin kicks, LGBTQ community, how to defend yourself against a shark if it attacks you out of nowhere, and much, much more. So come join us.