I Don't Know About That - Paragliding

Episode Date: May 30, 2023

Jim didn't seem to know the different between paragliding, parasailing, and hang gliding, but our expert Emi Carvalho (www.altitudetrips.com) sets Jim straight. Jim's new special "High & Dry" is now available on Netflix! Subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/IDKAT for ad free episodes, bonus episodes, and more exclusive perks! Tiers start at just $2!

Einstein, Edison, which one of them invented Jenga? You might find out, but I don't know about that with Jim Jefferies. Wow. Why'd you do that one? Why not? What else am I going to do? No, but I mean, like, why, dude? Because I wanted it to go to the end of the song.

I wanted it to have purpose. I was waiting for you to sing. I thought you were going to sing. I wanted to have a bit of something different. Something different. When does this one come out? When does it come out? In a couple of days.

A couple of days? Oh, it's good. I can say. Just went to Bert Kreiss' movie... The Machine. The Machine. Great film. Go and see The Machine. But more than anything, what a wonderful

night that was. What a wonderful... I couldn't have been happier for a person. He got up in front of that theatre, he wore his heart on his sleeve with his parents in the room and everything. He said, this is the best day of my life. And there's so few people get to say that or actually know their moment or their moment's never that big, you know what I mean?

It was wonderful to watch someone just, you know, I've always had a problem myself with smelling the roses at big moments, but that man knows how to smell the roses. I'll tell you what else, though, that's good that I like is that there's comedians coming out with movies again now, him uh sebastian menescalco this is good for our community yeah bert doing well is good for all of us doing well because for the longest time we just haven't had comedians leaping becoming movie stars anymore and that used to be commonplace now you'll get a sitcom and then if the sitcom doesn't work, you're over with your TV or whatever like that. And the

idea of like, unless we write it ourselves or whatever, they used to just be comedians doing comedies. And now you'll get people who are UCB people or Groundlings people and then they'll just put Bradley Cooper in. I've got nothing against Bradley Cooper or the

who's the guy who goes alright, alright, alright. Matthew McCartney. Matthew McCartney. They'll just go, he's the guy who goes, all right, all right, all right. Matthew McConaughey. Matthew McConaughey. They'll just go, he's the lead of a comedy. Here's an idea, movie producers,

put a comedian in. I was going to say improv people too, but they're not using them. Improv people as well, but stand-up comedians. How about you? Chris Rock is like the last, I don't know,

maybe I'm not thinking of that. Even Chris Rock wasn't properly utilized. Jim Carrey, we've had different, but you know. Sandler. Sandler and all that type of stuff. But it's been a long time between drinks that we've had a new person come through.

So I hope this movie fucking does gangbusters. Me and my wife had a really great time. I want to thank Bert for inviting us. We had a wonderful time. And it was just, I couldn't be happier for the us. We had a wonderful time. And it was just, I couldn't be happier for the fellow. I didn't realize that this was a story about his actual life. So now he has Van Wilder,

which was about his college life, plus this. Well, it's fictionalized at the end, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. This one you're talking about? Yeah, this is based off of... But it's still based off a story from his life.

Yeah, but it's like saying legit was my life or whatever. There's certain aspects. But it's based in reality. Yeah, yeah. You didn't see Dave, our buddy Dave Williamson. You did not see him?

I saw him. Dave was on the carpet. They asked me to do an interview and stuff, but I was sort of right. Then I went on the red carpet and no one gave a shit. Oh, you didn't do

an interview with him? I was going to. Because he asked me how to pronounce your wife's name. I was trying to get in there and then it was like, it's also like,

hey, Jim, can you come back and do an interview? I just didn't want to walk back is it my time yet like if it was free it was easy like i was just pulled off the carpet to do it i just you know there was tacos to eat man yeah there was food trucks there was tacos and there was pizza and there was full burgers not like sliders full fucking burgers man and and and, man. And it was a hell of a night. And I didn't get to meet Mark Campbell because Mark, like I was being stopped for photos.

So obviously Mark would have been mobbed being Luke Skywalker. I was thinking about how hard his life would be from time to time. But everyone was, it was just, it was magical. I can't, I've been to a lot of premieres and stuff like that. That was the The look fun, yeah. The funnest. I mean, yeah, he seems like the type of person who would have a really fun boss in the world. Man, the reason this guy's funny,

you know, he's a funny comedian and all that type of stuff because he brings the party. When you're around him, you feel like anything could happen. That's the whole idea of Machine. There was just this bloke who drank all the time that even people who are Russian could pick up on on and go oh this guy's fun to hang out with and there's that's a quality that not many people i know i don't bring the fucking but like people people always say to me they go they go i'd love to party with you sometime what do cocaine in a dodgy

nightclub off a toilet seat that's where i was at there were some very dark times in my party i never i never kept it light well let me tell you it looked really fun and um as people may or may not know i do a podcast with dave williamson who was working the red carpet interviewing people and yesterday around i don't know three o'clock or something on the phone i was right before i think he was getting ready to go there. He goes, yeah, now that I think about it, I could have gotten you a ticket. I don't know why I didn't. I was like, yeah.

Go on, David. So anyways, I'm doing a podcast with David about five hours today. So that's going to be brought up. Trust me. I've already written to David. Apologize for not talking to him. Ah, fuck that guy.

He didn't give me a ticket. I didn't have a fucking podcast with him. I saw Bert's thing where he's like, you got food trucks? And I'm like, what the fuck? Oh, yeah. It was a fact. It was a fact. I saw Bert's thing where he's like, you got food trucks? And I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, it was a fun. And also, Bert did something that if I had a movie,

look, there's things I'd do well. My speech before the film would be good. I know how to tell a story. I know how to be funny. I know how to be engaging on the red carpet and talk to people and that type of stuff. But he just, the camera crew followed him. He's like, okay, here we are. I'm going to try.

He's flipping cups with people. Then he was throwing axes with people. Then he's like off to the next bit. Then he's eating a burger and stuff like that. I would have, no, no, I don't have the energy. The social media content comes very naturally to him, whereas you are very against social media, like doing any type of videos like that.

You would do one thing and be like, do we have to do one of this? Yeah, I'm like, I'm funny on the screen. Just watch that thing we just did. Yeah, I spent time on that. It looked cool. I dropped Jim and his wife off. It looked cool from the outside. This nice bird shit

covered CRV dropped them off on the red carpet. My wife was skimpy outfitted. She went for it. Bit of fun. She was very happy to be there. And then we went out a little bit afterwards, and then we came home, watched a couple episodes of Smigadoon,

and ordered a pizza and had sex. What a great night. Yeah, it's good to be back home. Yeah, good to be back home. Welcome back. It's been six weeks since I've seen you guys. Does that all happen? Good to be back. Welcome back. Yeah. It's been six weeks since I've seen you guys. Oh. So.

Does that all happen? It was a long time on the road. It was fun, but it's a long time. Yeah. It's fucking, it's crazy being on tour that long. And just little things like not having a cooked meal that you've cooked. Yeah. Right.

It just feels a bit weird. I remember those. Mind you, I haven't had one since I got home. I just did post-make. I cooked just an omelette for myself the other day and it was good because when we did that first trip to Australia, and I've talked about this before maybe, we were in Townsville

and we linked up with Charlie. Charlie Crossley? Yeah, yeah, yeah, who we didn't know, but we were introduced to him through... Well, I knew Charlie. You didn't know Charlie. Charlie was one of Russell Crowe's schoolmates. I thought that was the first time you met him, the first time. No, no, no, no, no.

I met Charlie. I've met Charlie on Russell's farm before. Oh, on his farm. But I hadn't met him, but he invited us to his house, and it was him and his late wife and his family and stuff. And they, like, they. Put on a meal for us, yeah. Cooked us all these meats.

And then it was just us, the whole, just us sitting there and eating. I was like, this is nice. Like, I felt like really nice on the road to have like, to sit down in someone's patio and eat stuff.

They're lovely people, the crossbreeds. So I just, I literally just cooked myself an omelette the other day because I was like, I'm going to cook some food. I actually reached out

to Russ the other day because he's on the road doing his indoor garden party all around Australia. I think he ends in Portugal or something. It's an indoor garden party. He's Russell singing some songs and stuff, man. But he's on the road doing his indoor garden party all around Australia and I think he ends in Portugal or something. It's an indoor garden party. He's Russell singing

some songs and stuff, man. But he's at like, I think you want to go because there's guest stars that just rock up and sing with him. So he's doing like a cabaret show.

It's like intimate, I'm sure. Like RZA just got up and sang with him. Wow. Cool. Like rapped probably. I don't know.

I've only seen the photo. But I don't know. I've only seen the photo. But I don't know. It's one of the weirdest relationships. I know this because of a movie. They're best mates. I know. Yeah, RZA and Russell. Yeah, they're best mates.

The RZA from the Wu-Tang Clan and Russell Crowe are best friends. Yeah. Yeah. They're both good lads. Big fans. Let's meet our guest. All right. Please welcome our guest today emmy carvalho

good day emmy thanks for being on the show now it's time to play judging a book by its cover bang that's very exciting emmy i i look from the accent and the name and please don't think that i'm profiling but i am are we talking about the war in ukraine no actually so my name is emiliano i say emmy to be easier are you are you italian close enough okay close enough you can tell where you're from yeah where are you from i'm from portugal from where portugal portugal i just was just in portugal i just performed for the lovely people of lisbon i was there in a bullfighting arena fantastic place portugal

the food was outstanding we i can't speak highly enough we love that i can't speak highly enough of Lisbon. What a cracking place Lisbon is. Are we talking about Lisbon? Well, we are talking about something that I learned while I was living in Lisbon. Oh, is it male prostitution? No, I must say that I was once interjected by someone, but no, it's not male prostitution. that I was once interjected by someone, but no, it's not male prostitution. You have never done this, Jim,

and I don't think you ever will. Is it male prostitution? And the second part was, and I think you never will, so. Ah, yes, it's not male prostitution. When me money runs out, that's all I can afford. Here's a hint.

Now, he lives, you live in Switzerland now, correct? Yes. Is it the manufacturing of watches? Well, no. Thank you, Ken. Swiss Alps. It's an activity. Skiing. No, but...

Luge. I was going to give you a better hint. Toboggan. What's toboggan? Toboggan. I thought you said suboggan. I thought that was like a really bad pizza chain. You got toboggan and a sub sandwich. You can do it with skis. Oh, you can.

Oh, is it anal exams? No. Okay, so I didn't know you could do it with skis. Okay. Put it that way. So is it downhill skis? Skis wouldn't even cross my mind in this um here i give you a hint okay uh i think it was a vander holyfield oh where's this going i believe something

happened when it was boxing matches that was crazy all right you got an ear bitten off no but wasn't there another one besides the ear biting off wasn't there a guy that landed in the ring? Oh, a guy who parachuted in, parasailed into the ring, yeah. Paraglide. Paragliding. Paragliding, that's what we're talking about. Why would I never do that? I don't, it doesn't seem like it's in here.

I've parachuted, I've jumped out of planes. Maybe you will do it though. I'm an action guy. Okay. I'll never. When you go back to, when you go to Switzerland, he'll teach you. I'll never bungee jump. I'm not going to bungee jump.

Bungee jump's not in me because I have bad ankles as it is, and I feel like it will hurt me. Not out of fear. I just feel like it will hurt. No, that's exactly how I feel. I've jumped out of a plane, but I would never bungee jump because it just feels like my body would snap in half. Yeah, the whipping of it and all that type of stuff.

And also, it was invented by New Zealanders. It can't be safe. Well, let me introduce Emi. Emi Carvalho. And I'd lie about my weight. I'd say I was under. And then my head would hit the bottom. Bang.

Are you sure you're under 200 pounds? Yeah, yeah. Emi Carvalho is a paragliding instructor, a tandem pilot, and a paragliding explorer. He started flying nine years ago in his home country of Portugal, and two years later moved to one of the best places to fly in the world, his opinion, the Swiss Alps. Emi has flown in 18 home country of Portugal, and two years later moved to one of the best places to fly in the world, his opinion, the Swiss Alps. Emmy has flown in 18 countries across four continents, made more than 2,000 solo and 3,000 tandem flights,

has taught over 1,200 students how to fly, and his longest paragliding flight was over nine hours, traveling 243 kilometers. You can find him on Instagram and Facebook, at Altitude Trips, and his website is altitudetrips.com. I've done with the Boy Scouts with the Cubs I think I did paragliding where you did a tandem one where you were

in with a glider with someone Jim was just in Australia is one of the best places to do it yeah very good Australia very good like that Jim was just in Switzerland as well I was there with him in Zurich I don't know if that's where you're near but

close enough I'm 50 minutes away Switzerland as well. I was there with them in Zurich. I don't know if that's where you're near. Close enough. I'm 50 minutes away. I actually unfortunately just learned about your tour too late. There were no tickets anymore. I saw that you went to the chocolate factory. We went to the Lindt chocolate factory. That place,

there's no regulations. I saw you guys fill in spoonfuls. They can never have it in America. Well, Jim goes like this. First of all, it's outside. It's like 15 euros and it's all you can eat chocolate. Like, get the fuck out of here. Because if you were homeless, you would just come here every day.

Once a week, you'd save up your 15 euros from begging. You'd beg at the front of the chocolate place and then you'd come in and go, I got me 15 euros. And they couldn't turn you down. There'd be a limit on the amount of time you're in there. So there's one bit

that's just melted chocolate where they just give you a spoon and then you pump it onto the spoon and eat it and there's dark milk, white, right?

And then there's another bit where it's just the bars of chocolate and you just crack it just as much chocolate as you can. It's a machine that recognizes your hand

with a light sensor. Yeah, you put your hand on it and then it cracks a bit of chocolate into your hand. And then at the end, just all the Lindor balls you can eat. You have to do them one at a time because Slav was taking them and hoarding them. And the woman started yelling at him. Not yelling, but like, you can only one at a time. He's like, I don't speak English.

And then he was like, take it all the chocolate. And then there's another thing at the end with a ball on a railing that goes down and shoots. Oh, yeah. You get a ball that goes through. There is a lot of educational parts, too. You're supposed to learn about that. You're meant to learn where the cocoa was purchased, how they do it, how they refine it, how they add the milk.

Well, hopefully you learned some stuff. I am planning on getting a chocolate expert. No, no, no. I just ran from section to section eating the chocolate. Learned nothing. I walked past all the to section eating the chocolate. Learned nothing. I walked past all the learning moments. All right. Well, back to Emmy and paragliding.

Bloody wonderful place. We also went to a very fancy restaurant there. I like Switzerland. It's all right. I liked it too. I had a good time in Zurich. Yeah, yeah. It's all right.

Emmy. Yeah, good chocolate. So you live in Switzerland now, and I was going to ask you, just tell us a little bit more about paragliding, like how you got into paragliding, what happened there, and how you started and all that. So I started flying in Portugal.

The typical flights in Portugal are quite different from flying in Switzerland. We usually fly close to the beach, and we have quite small hills, but we have strong sea breezes, and when the air the air is going over the ridges, it's a beautiful place to fly for a very long time. Although we are always relatively low, always 100 meters above the ground, not much more. So I moved to Switzerland because here is a bit the other extreme. We have gigantic mountains. It's not the Himalayas, but it's, let, uh, let's say better logistics to get to the top of the mountains.

And, um, we can fly in a lot, a lot of different places around everyone. Uh, we quite a different view. You can fly over lakes. You can fly over glaciers. Uh, you can fly in summer and in winter, it's very different experience. So that's what brought me here. All right, great. Well, I'm going to ask Jim a series of questions about paragliding.

And then when he's done answering them, you're going to grade them on his accuracy, 0 through 10. Kelly's going to grade them on confidence. I'm going to grade them on et cetera. And we're going to add them all together. And, you know, we share these documents with our guests. And Emmy wrote in the categories. Usually I write some really crazy shit in here.

He wrote XC Master, this 21 through 30, that's a pilot who flies for many hours. Acro God, pilot who does great acrobatic tricks, longer flights, that's 11 through 20. Zero through 10, Speed Flyer, pilot who flies, usually zero through 10 is a disaster. I would have been like, zero through 10, you crash into a mountain, you die or something.

But he's still giving you, even if zero through 10, you can't lose in this one. All right, I'm in. Okay. How does a paraglider fly well it's got wings man it's like you know what it looks like yeah yeah okay describe that it's it's the it's it's the it's that we're talking about the same thing with the triangle underneath and they dangle you underneath that we're not talking paraglider is this the one that hangs on the back of a boat where you're in like a parachute? No, that's a...

Parasailor. That's parasailing. But para is the key word. The glider with the wing and you hang underneath it and you fly. It's glider. That's what I thought we're talking about. Is that a hang glider?

Hang glider. That's a hang glider. I don't know what a paraglider is. Jeez, we're running out of topics. You've got to get hang gliding in. Yeah. I was going to ask, what is the primary piece of equipment?

Let's skip through that. The glider. What is the purpose of a paraglider's harness? Keep them in the fucking sail, man. Okay. What is the best time of year and day to fly a paraglider? You don't want to do it in the dark because you don't know what's going on.

Sunset's a nice view. Plus, the winds are dying down. You want a windy part of the day, but you don't want to be too hot either. So time of the year, more windy is the time of the year. I'll tell you, best time to do it, a Tuesday in spring at about 5 p.m. Because people be at work, oh, no, no, about 4 p.m. Traffic's good getting out there, isn't it? No problem getting out there.

By the time you finish hang gliding, going to be about 7, all the peak hours. It's paragliding. Yeah, all the peak hours over. Yeah. You get to drive home with no traffic. So I'm going to say 4pm on a Tuesday in spring. Who can fly a paraglider?

Only paraplegics. What we don't know about him is we haven't seen his legs. That's why it's called paragliding. The other people are just gliders. Some of them are just a head and a body with no limbs at all and they they steer with their tongue um what is the term for the act of launching a paraglider from the ground if you're if you've got no limbs and you're very angry about that joke come and get me what is the term for the act of launching a paraglider from the ground?

What's the act of launching a paraglider from the ground? You're on the ground. You're going to launch. What's that called? That would be launching. It's a good guess. If they call it anything else, they're out of their fucking mind. We call a plane launch in a plane, launching a fucking spaceship.

You need a special term. Okay, other than the ground. It should be called launching. Other than than the ground how else can you launch a paraglider jump off a cliff okay um if you're flying a paraglider and you see a hot air balloon in front of you what should you do uh do that motion and honk their horn yeah same thing with an airplane i would i would avoid it don't go towards it would be one of the big steps. Yeah, yeah. Maybe go...

Well, like in a boat, I know this. Maybe yell out, fool. I don't know about this for paragliding, but in a boat, there are rules of the road, so there are certain boats that give way to other ones. Okay, so if you're in Britain, go left of the hot air balloon. Yeah, he's bloody... It's his vocal box because he's got other disabilities.

And then if you're in the other countries that aren't on the left, Australia, you go left. And then in the other countries, you go right. It's whatever the side of the road. How many people can fly in a paraglider? You could get a bloke with no arms,

no legs and a head and then another bag of heads. What? A bag of heads. What? A bag of heads? A bag of heads. Why would you bring the bag of heads? Because they need enjoyment as well. They're just heads, man.

Oh, they're alive. Yeah, they're still alive. He just tosses these live heads in a bag. You ever heard that joke about the head, and then he goes to the body shop, and he goes and buys himself a body, and then he walks out of the body shop, and he gets run over? What's the moral to the story? You he goes and buys himself a body. And then he walks out of the body shop and he gets run over.

What's the moral to the story? You should quit while you're ahead. Yeah. Okay, here's some terms, but I don't think you're going to know any of these, maybe. You build the joke out. You start with him rolling across the road. Then he gets money in his teeth. It's a journey of a joke.

Yeah, you've got to get there. But I'm not going to waste all the listeners' time. Since you still think this is a hang glider, I don't know why I'm a journey of a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to get there, but I'm not going to waste all the listeners' time. Since you still think this is a hang glider, I don't know why I'm asking any of these questions, but okay, here's some different maneuvers,

I think. What is the term for a maneuver of turning a paraglider very fast in small circles? That's air donut. Air donut? Yeah. Okay.

It's not bad. You told me it wrong. Yeah, it's pretty good. An air donut. And air donut. And air donut, which was the lesser known Nike product. I never made a movie about that one. No. Sounds like a really healthy donut.

No, it was for people with hemorrhoids. Oh. Oh, yeah. Those aren't called air donuts. Yeah, Nike air donuts. What is a sat? There's a mover, I guess, yeah. A sat is where you land.

A spiral. A spiral is where you spiral downwards. Isn't that the air donut? No, no, no, no, no. You don't go downwards. You stay at the same level. Okay. Yeah, donut.

What is the name for the technique used by paragliders to lose altitude quickly? I guess they do it on purpose. Yeah, I would say pointing down or burping a la Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I was watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory the other day. Which one? The original. Willy Wonka can proper get fucked, eh?

Because I went to the Lindor Chocolate Factory. They're giving you bloody chocolate left, right, and center. Like, because I went to the Lindor Chocolate Factory. Yeah. They're giving you bloody chocolate left, right, and center. And he's like this, I've invented this gum that's like a whole meal in your mouth. Can we have some? Nah, you'll turn into a blueberry if you try it. Go on. Nah, you can't have it.

Next thing. It did feel like that at Lindor that we were at a really nice Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was better than Charlie and the Chocolate Factory It was better than Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Lindor Next thing You can see it all being made This is an everlasting

Gobstopper Can we have one? As long as you don't Tell anyone Alright Alright What is the Here's a golden goose

If you take one of those eggs We'll throw you in a truck In the dumpster And you might get Lit on fire these orange guys with green hair what a miserable

cunt Willy Wonka was what is the altitude record for the highest paragliding flight ever recorded 10,000 feet 10,000

okay do you know what glide ratio is yeah it's the it's the it's the wingspan to the size of the amputee. I got more questions.

I think he's nailing it. We're going to get a lot of comments from the amputee community. Some of them can't type, don't worry about it. With their eyes, again What is the term for the practice of flying a paraglider In a rising column of air? I've done that on a video game What game?

There's a video game where you fly through the hoops Oh yeah, with the wings I used to love that game, on their phone Yes, a rising column of air What's that? They've done Hot air risers And how long can a paraglider stay aloft? Yes, a rising column of air. What's that? They're done. Hot air rises.

And how long can a paraglider stay aloft? It depends on how big the mountain is and how many hot springs there are. Maybe like what's the longest, I guess, maybe. The longest? An hour. I told you he was at nine hours one time. But he takes breaks, doesn't he? No. Okay.

Notoriously easy to take breaks in this guy. So if he's done nine hours, I'm going to say 20 hours. There's some kind of 20 hours. Okay. Here's a couple more questions. Why would you do that? You get bored. Like you just piss from the hang glider at that stage.

Yeah. We're going to ask him about that. Yeah. Where do you shit? What do you do when you're up in the air glider long? Where do you pee or poop? Well, you try to poop before. That's quite important.

You try to, but you don't always see. It's like when porn stars do anal scenes. I guess we don't need to go through the same treatment of bleaching, but other than that, we need to make sure that we don't carry anything with us. Concerning peeing, I mean, there's different variations. Female pilots very often use napkins, and male pilots might either use a bottle or just do it in the air like the birds do. Right, so you could get me toot all day.

If you just whip your dick out, even if you're a thousand feet above me, I'll go, I'm waiting for that cunt to land. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Jim Jeffrey's dick. Well, I think if you pissed from high enough, it would all dissipate before it got down there.

Have you ever been walking along and just had a couple of drips on you and not really realized? Everyone's had that. It's a bloody hang glider pissing on you. Damn. Knew it. All right. Let's skip ahead. A couple more questions there. It's a bloody hang glider pissing on you. Damn. Knew it. All right.

Let's skip ahead. A couple more questions there. Is that a real watch? Yeah. Yeah. What is the term for the practice of flying a paraglider close to the terrain and often close to the ground? Like a little...

All right. It's slip streaming. Slip streaming. Yep. And who is the best paragliding pilot in the world? Michael Jordan's brother, Frank. Frank Jordan. Yeah. Frank Air Jordan. He's the best paragliding pilot in the world? Michael Jordan's brother, Frank. Frank Jordan. Yeah.

Frank Air Jordan. He's the best. There's no reason he can't be. His brother was very skillful at things. Why wouldn't he have a little bit of talent? Don't be shitting on Frank. Emmy. There's a t-shirt idea right there.

He'll be shitting on you. Don't be shitting on Frank. Yeah, because in the paragliding he'd shit on, you know. Nah, the best hang glider ever would be called Hans, Hans, Hans Schwachendorf.

Hans Schwachendorf, yeah. He's very famous. Yeah, Hans Schwachendorf from the Schwachendorf dynasty. Of course, of course. You know, the importers, exporters. Oh, yeah um and he glided for over 20 hours and he slip streamed along the ground for the last eight hours just

a meter above the ground then he hit a hot spring up he went again hot spring pulled his dick out out of piss and landed absolute legend all without arms eddie how you doing uh so how did jim do in his knowledge of paragliding not hang gliding paragliding zero through ten ten's the best how do you do

well I have to say less than hang gliding it is not quite a lot of hang gliding I've done hang gliding two and a half two and a half yeah that works

that's way higher can someone get me a photo of paragliding so I know what we're talking about I'll pull it up yeah yeah Jack will show I have one but he can

angle it better. How do you do on confidence, Kelly? I can be punishing. I was going to give him a seven, but I'm going to remove four points. Like, he removed the limbs of all the paragliders. Is this just going on a parachute and having a go? It's flying with a parachute. He's up there nine hours.

You know the Emmy's done in nine hours. I remember people sometimes have a propeller behind them because it's gliding not parachuting shooting just goes down yeah and etc

I'm going to give you negative 12 there's no way you know what the times I have parachuted it fucking you get bad bruises on your inner thighs

those straps going up it's not comfortable yeah and like as soon as the parachute goes out like you fall from the air and you're plummeting like that. That's amazing. Your brain clicks in within two seconds and goes,

we're okay, and you just love that free fall. Fantastic experience. And then the parachute comes out and then you're relieved. Ah, the parachute came out. And then you know you're safe, and then you fucking parachute down for, like, fucking eight minutes. It's really long. I get bored quick.

I'm like, get me back to the ground. I want to check my phone. I didn't think about it. And I wore earrings when I skydived. And the wind flapping back and forth. I was just getting stabbed in the side of the neck by my earrings the whole time. I was about five pounds overweight for the weight limit for what they had in Australia. So too fat to parachute is a really,

like you don't want to be turned away from anything for being too fat. But then there was like a Swedish guy. I'm so glad because there was another bloke there and he was out at Uluru, right, in the middle of Australia by the big rock, right? Really like nothing below us is quite exciting. Anyway, so there was an Australian bloke who was strapping, I think, some girl, two of

his, in front of him. And he's there doing the whole, he's there going, before he jumped, oh, this is a bit loose. Every Australian's a shit star, just like this. Oh, bloody hell. I don't know if we connected this right. Yeah, yeah. When I went tandem jumping, too, same shit.

They're like, ooh, hey shit they're like oh they're like they have like a cardboard thing with jokes and stuff yeah i had it i had a sweet big swedish man the swedish aren't known for joking around with things like that you're going to be very safe i've done thousands and thousands of jumps this is just another day for me you're a little bit heavy but i know it won't make a problem they're just too precautionary for this now see look this is secure this is secure. This is secure. This is secure. And then at the end, I made a joke to him,

and I said, you know what the funny thing is? I always knew that I would die being strapped to a Swedish bloke. I just didn't know how. And he didn't laugh. Emmy, so why don't you explain to us, and a lot of people are just listening to this, so if they don't know what paragliding is, what paragliding is but paragliding is what the equipment is how

does it fly and how it's different than hang gliding so paragliding is like Jim said actually got one of the two and a half points like that paragliding is a big parachute it's it has optimized shape for flying, for gliding. So rather than just decrease your descent, it actually makes you move as far forward as possible. And the principles of flight are similar to hand gliding as well. Both of them are typically used without motors, although they are paragliders and hang gliders with motors that i will classify that as a different sport um and the difference of the hang gliding gym knows it very well uh it's the the triangle where the block hangs on um

and uh and is flying in a lay down position as Superman or a bird. While paragliding, you fly sitting down. So you don't need to have legs, as Jim pointed out. Yeah, more comfortable too. You don't have to plank on the hang glider. You have to plank the whole time. The other one you just sit and be like fat. So the guy, do you know the thing I was talking about with Jim

where the guy crashed into the boxing ring on a paraglider? Yeah, there have been a few interesting cases. Recently, there was also on the... Was it in the Olympics? I believe it was in the Olympics recently that in the ceremony

or in the World Cup. Either the Olympics or the football soccer World Cup. There was a case of a paraglider with a motor playing around from Greenpeace and putting a few lives in danger. So if you have the motor, it's not paragliding. That's something else? We will call it paramotor then.

So the biggest difference of having the motor is that you can just easily go up and down, while with a paraglider you are typically gliding unless you find a way to go up. You said you went up for nine hours how did you just stay up for nine hours if you can't go up you just keep... you start at a very hot spot. It's one of the questions right it's the the thermal so when you find masses of hot air imagine a hot air balloon so you fill the hot air balloon with hot air and that brings some upward force and the air goes up. Take out the balloon and keep the hot air and the same

thing happens. Hot air goes up. And when we are flying, if we find areas where the air is going up, then we just try to stay around. So we are flying in circles just to enjoy the helicopter, the elevator rides to go up. When we get to the very top, we just fly as far away as we can until we get into the next one. And that's how you cover longer distances. Could have you gone longer, but you just got bored?

Typically, well, there's a legal aspect to it, but also physical reasons. So, this hot air can have different reasons, but mostly it's because of sunlight hitting the ground where it's darker versus areas that are more green or more clear. And so, when it's darker, you start having darker ground and therefore the air above it gets warmer and it starts going up so if you cut out the sun then you cut out the thermals so typically you start flying as early as the first thermals happen and you eventually have to stop when the last thermals disappear and

there's a legal aspect to it as well as i said because in most countries it's illegal to paraglide at night most countries there's that one and then how do you know if there's thermals or not do you look for birds or something or you just feel it but you didn't see it's warm no but maybe I don't have a way to see warm you can see wavy bits in the sky I don't know I have no clue often in the takeoff. Often in the takeoff, you can, in the takeoff, so when you are ready to start, you are very close to the ground, and that's where you have the strongest heat transfer between the ground and the air.

You do see, just like imagine driving on a very hot day on the road, you see the air doing this wavy motion. But when we are flying flying if you are 3 000 meters above the ground uh no you cannot see it but you can see elements being affected birds are definitely one every time that you see a bird flying without flapping its wings it's using air that is rising might be thermals or might be some other phenomenon close to the beach, for example, like we do in Portugal. But it's definitely arising. So we are always looking out for birds.

It helps if we fly together, if we fly several paraglider pilots together, because if we go in slightly different directions and one of us starts going up, we know, oh, there's a thermal and everyone follows. But isn't there a chance that you can all bump into each other and tangle up? Well, then the answer is yes, there is a chance, but we will only get into that situation if we are really bad pilots because imagine driving in a place where you don't really have a road and you can just go anywhere if you had bad parts that would happen hey yeah so there's no female paragliders asshole no they are as well and actually the the world record of uh the longest flight from a female

paraglider pilot is more than twice what I did so on a phone and not paying attention nailed it I don't know have you have you heard about this guy in Turkey that brought his couch and a TV up paragliding with him, that's a very famous video. It's quite impressive to see. He also has an upgrade video after where he does the same, but with his bed.

He's got a lamp too. Those things that you put on your eyes so that it all gets dark. He has a very nice video doing that. Do you know that guy? No, I know the place and I know the videos. A wacky guy. What's the

longest flight? You said the woman had done 18 hours. What's the longest one? That's one of the questions we asked. I misspoke, sorry. Not 18 hours, but the distance. So we usually speak more about the distance. The furthest distance ever covered was in the US, actually,

from a guy called Sebastian P. Routes, and he flew over 600 kilometers. So in miles, that will be 380 miles. Right. So that's basically, well, it's not San Francisco to LA, but it's not far off it. It's not far. It's pretty close.

It's farther than LA to Vegas. It's almost it's not far off it. It's not far. It's pretty close. It's farther than L.A. to Vegas. It's almost as far as San Francisco. L.A. is like 400 miles. It's almost San Francisco. Oh, he did it in the United States or something. Exactly, and he started in one state. He flew through a different one, and he landed on the third one. So where did he start, and where did he end up?

I know that Utah was the one in the middle, if I'm not wrong, but I don't recall the start and end point. Probably Colorado or something. They call it fly out of states for a reason. Idaho. And then what's the highest you can go in a paraglider? Another question. As high as the thermals go, typically.

And that depends a lot on the weather. Depends a lot on the day. Where does oxygen cut out? Doesn't oxygen cut out? Sorry oxygen cut out sorry i cut you off go ahead yeah world record eventually yeah eventually that will be the case the world record of a highest controlled ascend is from a guy that took oxygen uh although the oxygen mask apparently didn't work uh so that's a french guy flying in pakistan uh called antoine Girard and he got to over 8000 meters now it's discursible if this is

the record of height because there have been people flying from the top of Everest but they didn't gain extra height so they glided down and this guy started at 4000 meters so he gained a lot of height 8000 meters, so he gained a lot of height. Yeah, that's like 8,000 meters, you said, sorry?

8,000? Yeah, he started at 4,000 and he flew up until 8,000. But the world record, although that's out of control, is from a lady. And it was in Australia as well. So around 10 years back there was a an interesting scenario where during the paragliding world cup um that was happening in australia there was a gigantic cloud forming you know those clouds that you start seeing that they look like skyscrapers getting bigger and bigger and those clouds have very very very strong thermals underneath, taking all of that water vapor up.

And yes, so she got sucked in by the cloud. Three people got sucked in by the cloud, actually. One died. And she went close to 10,000 meters. She lost consciousness. And eventually she came down. She regained consciousness before getting into the ground. In paragliding, it's often referred as a miracle,

as the woman that should not have survived because it was so impressive that that happened. Nice that she broke her record. Did you know it? It's a white guy. Her record breaker. In her sleep, she breaks records. There's another person that actually broke a record. Did you know it? It's a white guy. Her record breaker. In her sleep.

She breaks records. There's another person that actually broke your record. They died. But you lived. Yeah. That French guy must be pissed. He's like, I didn't mean to do that. I go up in the air.

That was in Pakistan. I go flying. I go so high. And who's considered, I know we're jumping around, but who is the best paragliding pilot in the world is it Michael Jordan's brother Frank Air Jordan or Hans Schwachendorf Schwachendorf well that Frank guy I don't know

I haven't seen him fly so I cannot comment but there's quite a few really really great pilots it's difficult to say what's the best paragliding pilot in the world because there's different types of paragliding. That's a little bit like saying who is the best runner in the world. Who do you put there?

Do you put the guy that is winning the marathon or do you put Usain Bolt? So there's a bit of a discussion. You put Usain Bolt and then next you put the Kenyan bloke, whoever he may be. Fast guy first I found out why Kenya they're so good at running they all run to school and I touched up but it's very high altitudes when they come down their lungs are all

good for it that's why Kenya beats the other countries well if you live in a country if you live in a country with lots of mountains you have a natural advantage of uh being in the right place just like great surfers come from places uh where there are great waves great paraglider pilots come from places where there are great mountains however i will tell you kelly slater who supposedly they say it was is the best surfer or what i don't from florida where we have shit waves was from Cocoa Beach where it's probably the best waves in Florida. I don't know much about surfing, but I took pictures of my friend surfing. That's where he's from.

Fun fact. All right. The surfers, I was finding out, they're like environmental nightmare surfers. These boards, they're covered in chemicals. They never go away. The wetsuit material, they never biodegrade. It's like they're a fucking menace, the surfers. Who was telling you their environmental name?

I was watching a documentary on them. Oh, really? Well, they don't go through that stuff that often. It's not like they're tossing the boards in the wetsuit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just surfing in general. So most body boards and stuff like that are bought for summer vacations and then just dumped afterwards.

And that's a bit of land for them. Oh, body boards, yeah. And then surfboards. Most surfboarders buy six or seven. They keep upgrading them all the time. That's the thing with surfing. I've got to get another board. They upgrade them all the time. And that's fucking landfill. The wetsuits, they're trying to

now find a way to make the wetsuit material become recyclable. Yeah, no, they're no good. They're no good to surfers. Well, we used wetsuits to do environmental work. You give with one hand and take with the good. They're no good, the surfers. Well, we used wetsuits to do environmental work. Yeah. You give with one hand, take with the other. You're like Al Gore.

I was at a big house, but he tells us all the good stuff. I think the main thing is humans are environmental nightmares. Yeah. I blame surfers. Yeah, I think you're right. So these different terms for, is an air donut, what was I, where was that one? Term for maneuvering a paraglider very fast in small circles.

Is it an air donut? And if it's not, I think probably. Air donut. I might start using that term. I liked it. I liked it enough. Although usually we call it something different. So a fast turn, we call it a spiral.

I can show it up. I brought a little prop. All right. Hey. This is a paraglider. As you see, no triangles here. Wait a second. They have all their arms and legs. No, but he can't use his legs. That's not a paraglider. As well. Exactly. That's really good.

The other cross. So when you do a fast circle turning around, you really have a very big bank angle. And as you are turning around, you are spiraling down. As you come down, you gain a lot of speed going down. So that's a spiral. Do you ever have races? Is there ever like competitive paragliding? There is and there's different types of races. So there's some people that actually don't compete with time but compete in similar to

gymnastics accounting. Oh, you have a ribbon on a stick. Whoever plays around better with the wing and does the craziest tricks wins. So they get points and then whoever gets most points win. But usually when we are talking about the world champion, for example, we are speaking about the people that did the longest glides, and that's similar, I will say, with cycling. So you have a starting point.

The difference is you don't have a unique route that you can follow, and you just have the starting point and a turn point, but you can go there whichever way you want. You can go in a straight line, but sometimes it's better to follow a specific terrain and whoever gets there faster wins. So you have those races. And then you also have a very special race that is called the X-Alps that you start, you can only hike and fly so you start in this case you start in the

east side of the alps in austria and you can only hike during the day and then fly as well at night you have to stop and you have roughly two weeks to go from there to france and back worry and ask him i i it was it I was going to ask whether there were tracks or anything like that, but I'll ask a different question. Who's the biggest cocksucker in the paragliding community? Well, you asked before who is the biggest pilot, right? So maybe I can answer that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah yeah who's the most

famous one so um probably the the most famous is a guy that makes some really really cool youtube videos uh it's it's incredible the things that that he does uh his name is jean baptiste chandelier or chandelier you can you can find him easily the video. If you look for weightless paragliding, this video has, I don't know, 15 million views, 10 million views, something like that. And he really shows how fun paragliding can be. And then you have the guy that wins the X-Ops every time. That's Kriegel Maurer.

He's a Swiss guy. And he has won it six or seven times now. So it's almost his competition. Can you show us a couple of other things with your little paraglider there, just the maneuvers and stuff that I had talked about or asked Jim about? Have you got a Barbie doll? Can you make him fuck Barbie? Stall.

Like a stall, whatever a sat is, all that stuff, yeah. And describe it. It's actually a male pilot and a female passenger so I don't say what they are doing. There's two of them on there. That's air bombing. So what were the maneuvers again? One was a spiral, a stall and then lose altitude quickly.

Yeah those. Perfect. So the spiral is the one where you are doing this type of movement. So doing a very fast turn. The SAT is somewhat similar. It's very often called the stupid aeronautical maneuver or stupid aeronautical technique. What the SAT does is similar to a spiral but while the wing is going forward, the pilot is coming back. So they are turning around like this with the axis between them. So the wing is going forward, but the pilot is going back.

Yeah. It's quite an interesting – it's one of the easier acrobatic maneuvers that you can do. I was going to say it to you. How safe is this, all of this? Do you have a lot of deaths each year or is it pretty safe? You have a few. So the problem, it's contract.

Yeah, it's a little bit of bulls in views in a way, but paragliding, it's the safest form of aviation and because of that is the one that has more accidents. So I need to explain this. I know it's a safest form of aviation and because of that is the one that has more accidents so I need to explain this I know it's a bit weird so if you don't do anything with a paraglider it just flies straight and slowly so it's quite steady

you go against anything and that's ok the hang glider if you don't do anything it's gonna bank and probably it's gonna make you turn and turn and turn and start spiraling and go down. The glider, you cannot just leave it flying because you need a big space to land. So a glider is a sailplane, almost an airplane without motors. Airplanes, helicopters, all of those, they need to be controlled.

So you cannot just let them go. Now, what's the problem with the paraglider? Since you can land pretty much everywhere because it's slow, then you can come up with the craziest stupid things to do and that's when people get injured and they can die. So in Switzerland in the last 20 years, every year we have around two deaths paragliding just by comparison you have around 20 deaths doing skiing in Switzerland as well if you are doing a tandem that's quite safe there's maybe two countries that I will avoid because they have more accidents but most countries they are quite safe for you to do a tandem. If you are doing a solo flight,

it really depends on your approach to the sport. If you approach it with safety, rather than going to the limit with that approach, then it's quite safe. If you approach it in the direction of, let's do some proximity flying, let's do all the tricks that i can very very very low then you will eventually find a limit you ever get a bird to the face

well no but there's a guy in spain and there's another guy i think it's in in nepal that have a a pet falcon that flies with them and so when you go on a flight with them on a tandem, you actually get those falcon gloves, and you go fly, and then the falcon comes and lands there. That's quite special. Yeah, they charge a lot of money for that, I bet. That'd be cool. Yeah, I had just opened an article before you said that.

It was called para-hawking, and these people were flying with uh hawker they go get you some food and they bring it back like a philly cheesesteak and i've also seen a video of a guy paragliding with his dog yeah that's not fun for the dog yeah i just feel like the dog really they love parachuting dogs certain breeds they look it's like Certain breeds. They, it's like having. Arnie would hate it. It's like having their head out the car window. Yeah.

So, I know this from talking to Rob O'Neill, who, our friend, who. I think it's the Malinese, though. Who is a Navy SEAL. Malinois. Well, they're like German Shepherds. Malinois, Belgian, Malinois. Yeah, they're like that, yeah. But the dogs, and I know another person, when they jump out of the plane, they have them

strapped, the dogs strapped to their chest. The dogs, the free fall, person, when they jump out of the plane, they have the dog strapped to their chest. The dog's the free fall. They fucking love it. And then they have the dog's handle on the back of them, so when they land, they can Velcro or rip off or unclip the dog. And then they see there's someone up on a balcony, and they just throw the dog up, and the dog comes back to them. Fantastic.

Yeah, that'd be a fun dog. I have to say that if I can change Jim's classification, I will bring it up for a five now. All right. Because dogs do love flying, and that's really cool. I fly with my dog. Yeah. She's a German Shepherd, and she loves it.

She's always with the tango, with the tail, playing around. My wife couldn't get over that in Australia. We just have dogs in the back of our pickup trucks just hanging out unleashed. That's in Florida too, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And my wife, there was like one that was where the dog was just there and it was like a flat back. It didn't even have walls on the side.

Like if you took a corner too much, it was sliding up. Oh, there's still walls. Oh, my God. And so my wife, we were driving behind this dog in Australia. It was on the back of the truck. And she was like, get the license plate. Ring your brother because my brother's a cop, right? And I'm like, I don't think he's.

We have to get this person. And then like a few days later, she talked to my brother. And he's like, oh, the dogs love it. It's wonderful for them. Yeah, my dog is a little dog. He hangs his head out the window at any chance he gets. Mind you, my dad had a dog growing up that if you mention this dog's name and i won't mention the name but if you met my

dad still gets it he tears up if he thinks about it i think i've told i've heard this story yeah but he had one time was standing on the top of the car of the ute the pickup was on top of the roof right up of the roof yeah it's not good and they broke and the dog went forward and then they ran over it oh the dog didn't like that one to this day your dad can't even probably he can't talk about it yeah i wouldn't be able to he can't talk about it he tears up about this dog mate wait do you have a harness for your dog i'm sorry that wouldn't happen with a paraglide yeah yeah so with your dog your dog has like a harness that attaches to you or the something like that or yeah exactly he has a special harness uh for dogs

made for for his measurements and uh it starts running like uh and then when launch like like a pilot and then you take your dog to a dog park and he probably is like yeah no big deal i was just flying that's boring what have you guys been doing anyways yeah that's fine that's how we find these bitches yeah bitches yep uh i love that dog female dogs are called bitches it's a bit of fun in it yeah yeah yeah a bit of fun and the word bastard is actually because i had like i had my well i never married kate but kate's mother once said about my son that out of all of my grandchildren he's the only bastard i tell hank that occasionally and how does he respond you're bastard that's what he says no no no i don't tell him he's a bastard yeah i don't think that word

applies anymore i don't think anyone gives a fuck yeah well that just means that you're not married ever right you were born out of wedlock yeah yeah because my my parents were married when my mom was pregnant yeah you're not a bastard no but i was a mistake oh yeah everyone that was clear my parents were told they would never have a child again they said they went to get my mother you've seen me do a routine about this but But they went to tie her tubes, and they were just like, don't worry about it. This is a fucking car accident. So you were a miracle mistake.

You were just a regular mistake. I came along six years later or something, but there was no way they should have had a child. My mother had corrective surgery to get pregnant the first time, and then she had the other baby right away. And then they went to tie her tubes and the doctors were like

don't worry about it this is a fucking mess they were like it doesn't even resemble a womb you'll be fine and you turned out great oh I grew up

in the equivalent of a cardboard box was I was born into the womb you mean yeah there's other people who grew up in wombs that are like mansions in Beverly Hills

I grew up in a fucking just a shanty your arm just jammed into one side they're like he's not he's not in the fetal position at all yeah i was like a shanty town in cape town i was just corrugated iron shade um that's a couple of questions that i need to ask you oh the glide ratio what is that and, what... Oh, do that one first. And then also, what happens if you see a hot air balloon or a plane? I would assume you avoid them, but that's a run there.

Or is that a joke? Well, some points on the hot air balloon for sure. Indeed, you do this because you have your controls in your hand and you have to turn. And the way you turn is by pulling one of the controls down. So if you do this, you are doing the right thing. Yeah. I would assume you just avoid them, right? Because you said a hot air balloon in a plane,

but it would feel like you have the right-of-way over a plane, right? A plane has to avoid you. Yeah, absolutely. So for the right-of-way in the air, it's always for the aircraft with less maneuverability. So the hot air balloon can only go up and down. Therefore, it always has priority and so we have just to avoid and if we are flying and there's a an airplane he has to avoid us

and the way to avoid if we are going one against each other should be each of us should turn right independently on the country that's for all country got it all right and on the country. That's for all countries. Got it. All right. And then the glide ratio. What was the other question? Glide ratio. So the first glider is on the first glider. Just so you know what Jim's answer was.

What is the glide ratio? He said it's the wingspan to the size of the amputee. That's incorrect. We're going on that, right? You're a bag of heads. Almost. Almost. The wingspan does have an impact impact but not exactly what it is so the the

glide ratio um that depends on the geometry of the wing that's why the wing uh um the the wingspan has an impact the bigger the wingspan typically the better the glide ratio and what the glide ratio is is a paraglider is called a glider because it glides so you have a certain height and instead of losing height vertically it loses height while it moves forward and as it's moving forward if it has a good glide ratio it will get further away so if you have a glide ratio of 10 what that means is that if you take off one kilometer high and you just fly straight, you get 10 kilometers ahead by the time you get to zero. So the typical glide ratios on normal paragliders are between 6 and 10. Competition paragliders get to 15, let's say.

competition paragliders get to 15 let's say just as the reference a normal airplane heads around 10 to 15 and the sailplanes those have a gigantic wingspan so they have really really really good light ratios I think close to 40 and 50 and then if you have one kilometer high, you can go from south of Spain to north of Morocco, north of Africa. Alright, and then this is the last question we didn't answer yet was, what is the term for the practice of flying a paraglider close to the terrain

often close to the ground? I like this. I like these videos. I've seen this. Jim said slipstreaming. Yeah. Sounds good. Well, you should definitely look up that video that I mentioned, the weightless paragliding, because you'll see that pilots do that a lot. So that's called proximity flying. It's really, really fun. It's one of the most fun things to do in paragliding, I would say, particularly in winter, where you can just drag your feet in the snow. It's really, really nice.

Oh, yeah. but that's dangerous right yeah it looks scary well yeah exactly so i know that i mentioned that you can have the approach of being safe for the the approach of trying to find the limit right so certainly the accidents happen when you are close to the ground and when you have speed um and uh what this is doing is combining those things is it there's is it in the olympics it was discussed to be in the olympics in 2000 but it was not selected not even the power of the reason jesus christ well maybe in the paralympics we could be accepted because uh there's uh i would say there's quite a big community of uh people on wheelchairs paragliding jim yeah did you ask that question

the first one just to get to the paralympics everything i do is to get okay but i was hoping he'd just go no and then i could go could go, not even the Paralympics. But he went, oh, maybe in 2000, though. And I was like, fuck, that doesn't suit me. I've got to get in quick with this answer. But I would think, to your point, though, that if you... Not the Special Olympics, of course. If you were paraplegic, I would think this would be an activity

that would be fun because... Can't land. No. That's not what I'm saying. You land on a wheelchair. So you have a special trike with three wheels and uh you take off like that you need some assistance you know you're being serious why would you get rid of the wheelchair you have to be up there with the bloody wheelchair as well it's late it's like a modified i don't want any flying wheelchair just let me get me stumps on

the ground i'll get me two stumps like this and I'll go wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. You can't move them. How would you launch? Just have somebody throw you off a cliff? No, you've got your hands.

You drag up to the end of the cliff. I thought they didn't have arms either. Someone could hold you. No, they've got arms. These are people with arms. I was being silly before, Kelly.

Oh, okay. No, no, no. That's my fault. You're misunderstanding me. So, how does talking a person without legs... Maybe you could do like the stories game. I tell you what, I've got this game... The stories? Yeah, no, he's serious. So, how does talking a person without legs... I tell you what, I've got this game...

Oscar Pistorius, yeah, I do fun jokes about him. I'll tell you what I think about Oscar Pistorius. There's no way that he hasn't seen me do that routine. That routine... He's in prison. I was telling it before... You think he's getting DVDs of Jim Jefferies in prison? I was saying it.

I was doing that routine before he went to prison. Yeah, that's true. It was still the court case. Now, also, and someone would afford it to him. You know, they've got to pay the huge interest. It's about you killing a woman. Yeah, but it's the only routine I can think of where someone's getting raped.

I did this scene where he's getting raped in prison because it's Oscar Vistori's. And everyone in the audience cheers. Very hard to walk that line. I'm very proud of that routine. You've got to pick

someone who's a real piece of shit to really get away with it. I tell you what though with the game show in Australia I haven't been

reading the reviews and I read a couple of them the other day just on a like comments on the ratings thing. Everyone turns out everyone hates me

but the ratings are going through the roof. They're going really good. Turns out everyone online thinks I'm a piece of shit. People are watching the show so I don't care. But there's,

every episode, it's very clear there's a lot of people watching this show who's never seen my stand up because people are asking me to apologize for jokes that are so fucking weak.

Yeah, you're like, I can't say shit on a game show. You made a joke about apartheid in South Yeah, you're like, I can't say shit on a game show. They're like this, you made a joke about apartheid in South Africa and I'm like, really? Yes, that's the one you want.

And then another one's like, you made a joke about epilepsy. I have had an epileptic fit. You apologize right now. Do you know what it's like to have an epilepsy? And I'm like, you're fucking kidding me, right? That's the joke I'm going down for?

The bloke who wants the epileptic joke? Anyway, so to all the paraplegic people who are listening, sorry. Oh, all right. That's the point I was trying to get to. I would think if you're paraplegic and you're not paragliding, you should be because the movement would be. You can't say something's para this and then expect me not

to do that joke right that's was going to happen from word dot when when the activity is para what about parallelogram i would make jokes about that it's not a full line it's missing the bits off the side a parallelogram is a peace sign that just has a line through the middle without those two bits like Like, no. All right, Eddie. There you go. Here's the part where the show we're at. We're at Dinner Party Facts. We're going to ask our expert to give us a fact, something about...

Got something about slavery for us? Something about paragliding that is interesting or obscure that our audience can use to impress people if this comes up. Well, you can speak about one of the interesting adventures that that guy, that I mentioned before, that went to the 8,000 meters controlling Antoine Gerard. So he does all of these crazy adventures around the world. He goes fly where places where people have never flown before. And that has bitumen in the ass as well.

So in one of his trips, he went to Ethiopia. and that has bitumen in the ass as well. So in one of his trips, he went to Ethiopia, and every time that he was landing, the police would come and take him to prison. By the fourth day, he gave up. He said, okay, maybe better go and find a different place to fly. What's his name? Antoine Girard. He's dead now.

Another French pilot. He picked up something in an African prison why would he keep doing it why do they keep arresting him they just don't like the flying well I think that they had the war recently or something like that I think

an impoverished country where everyone is starving and you're flying around and great big things. Stop being an asshole. A bit audacious, isn't it? That's for awareness. Yeah, bringing awareness to paraplegics. Well, if you want to see, if you want to learn more about paragliding

or check out Emmy's Instagram and Facebook at Altitude Trips or his website, altitudetrips.com. If you're in Switzerland, give him a ring. Go fly with him. And, yeah, thanks for being here, Emmy. Thanks, Emmy. Appreciate it, mate.

If you're ever at a party and someone comes up to you and goes, hey, you know paragliding where they have that sail and they lay like Superman and go, I don't know about that, and walk away. Fly away, I don't know about that. And then walk away. Fly away. No, don't fly away. You'll be bloody out of party. Glide away. Glide away.

Glide away. Roll away. All right, good night, Australia.