I Don't Know About That - Poop

Episode Date: April 16, 2024

Jim don't know sh*t about poop. Our expert Dr. Will Bulsiewicz helps him out. Dr. Bulsiewicz's Website: zoe.com/willb - fill out quiz and learn. ADS: LECTRIC EBIKES: Get your adventure started at LectricEbikes.com. And please mention that I Don't Know About That With Jim Jefferies sent you in the post-checkout survey! DRAFTKINGS CASINO: New players, start playing with just FIVE BUCKS and get ONE HUNDRED BACK INSTANTLY in Casino Credits. Download the app and use code IDKAT to book your one-way ticket to fun with DraftKings Casino! 

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hey it's the i don't know about that podcast before we the podcast today, I just wanted to let everybody know what happened. Last week, we didn't have an episode because Jim got called away on a project. I can't talk about it, but I'm sure he'll talk about it a lot in the future. And he's going to be gone for some time. So instead of skipping two weeks, what we decided to do was skip last week, have an episode this week, then skip next week, and then we'll be back on a regular schedule after that. So thanks for sticking with us a couple more things before that we start the episode is i will be in australia next week that's april 24th and 26th in sydney if you're in sydney australia the 24th on 26th at the factory theater ticket link in my on my website on my instagram we'll have some

links on the idcat instagram, if you're in Sydney, come out and check me out. And then May 1st through 4th, I'll be in Melbourne at the Comics Lounge. Links for that on my bio and my website as well. And one other thing, we had a guest on for Austria, Steve Bell. He forgot to promote his son. That was what he was supposed to promote. He's a bad dad, so I guess he didn't do that, but I'm going to do it now for him. He has a play in London. If you're in London, it's called In Everglades Studio it starts today and goes through I think May 4th or 6th it's at the Hope Theatre so if you're in London go to the Hope Theatre check out Steve Bell's Son supposed to be a really cool play there you go thanks

mushrooms small rooms high rooms which one's a vegetable is it even a vegetable or is it a fungi Small rooms. High rooms. Which one's a vegetable? Is it even a vegetable or is it a fungi? Well, you might find out, and I don't know about that, with Jim Jefferies. What is a mushroom? Is a mushroom a vegetable? You can just meet for vegetarians. I don't know.

I love a mushroom. I love a mushroom. I don't know where it falls under. We did an episode of mushrooms, but it was magic mushrooms. Yeah, a long time ago. Yeah, that was our own vegetable. A long time ago. A long time ago. Yeah, that could our own adventure. A long time ago. A long time ago.

Yeah, that could be. Good little veggies on the trip. May 10th, you are at the Hollywood Palladium for Netflix's Joke Festival. I'm just emceeing that one. But if you want to come and see me in LA, I'll be doing it. My LA gig is booked for December. 14th. 14th of December at the Ace Theater.

Obviously, there's still plenty of tickets because the gig's bloody miles and miles away, but it was a rescheduled one, so they rescheduled it there. I will be there December. There's a bunch of dates on the website. Go check them out, jimdeffries.com. Also go to my website, forestshaw.net. These are coming up soon now.

I'll be in Sydney, Australia, Aprilia april 24th and 26 at the factory theater there's tickets on there there's still tickets available for that uh if you live in sydney or in the sydney area people have written to me a bunch before hopefully you're coming so buy tickets to that and then i'll also be at the comics lounge may 1st through the 4th that's in melbourne australia uh that's at least shows, but that's on my website too, fourshow.net. And May 11th, I'm with our buddy JJ Whitehead for Netflix is a Joke Festival. We're co-headlining at the Hollywood Hotel.

Tickets on my website. All that stuff is linked on my Instagram as well. Please come to one of these shows in Australia if you're there or Netflix is a Joke and IDCat Podcast on Instagram. Follow us there. Follow Jack. Follow the Doohickeys. That's right. All Instagram. Follow us there. Follow Jack. Follow the Doohickeys. That's right.

All right. Let's go. Now let's meet our guest, Will Bosowitz. G'day, Will. Now it's time to play. Yes, though. Yes, though. Yes, though.

Yes, though. Judging a book by its cover. You know what I like about that song? It sounds like it's from a 1960s game show. Yeah. I'm a big fan. It is a game show. Okay, so we just did sneakers.

We just did them. We just did them. So Will having sneakers behind him doesn't... That's the right, yeah. That's the right. He's throwing me. Unless we're just doing Nike, but I think the ones on the top shelf aren't even Nike.

No. When I spoke to Will before, he had a book up there that would surely give it away. I told him he could leave it there, but he was nice enough to put something up. And then he's got some greenery on the side. So I don't know. Is it the history of Portland?

Portland's very green. It's where Nike's from. I actually think the shoe being there is kind of an interesting hint. Is it Oscar Pistorius? No. No. This is something that everybody has an interest in. Or, no, I shouldn't say has an interest in.

Everything that everybody does. Yeah, everybody does. They might not have an interest. They might not have an interest. Everyone's not having an interest. So it could just be shitting. Is it shitting? Yeah, that's it.

You seem to be eating up here. That's close. That's close. That's really close. That's really close. Is it farting? No. No, no. How did you just go to sh heating up here. That's close. That's really close. That's really close. Is it farting? No. No, no.

Like, how did you just go to shitting? Eating. No, but you're there. It's part of, it's the thing that comes out. Poo. Yay. Yeah, it's shit. Yeah, poop.

Come on, hey, we're going to class it up. I know all about shit. Class it up. We're nice. I know all about shit. I'm fascinated by this stuff. That's what we're talking about today. Poop.

All right. Kids, we're going to be in the car with your parents right now. Strap in. We're going to have fun. Parents, don't eat anything while we do this. Dr. Will Bulsiewicz, and you can call him Dr. B, so you don't have to say Bulsiewicz. The shoes is a good hint because you step in shit. Yeah, Jack got that.

But only dog shit. Real well, you step in other shit. Yeah, you can step in other shit. He's putting the book up now. I'm going to, okay, doctor, I'm going to ask you, what is the only animal to do cube shit? What's the only animal that what? That shit's in cubes.

Squares. Square cubes. It's got to be someone Australian. Tell me. There's only one animal on Earth. I know this. All right, Aaron. The wombat.

The wombat. Damn straight, it's the wombat. We're talking about human poop today. Yeah, I know, but it's interesting that their ass makes square shits and no one else does it. Let's get into that. I just traded the heaven there. Let me introduce him.

Dr. Will Bosowitz is an award-winning gastroenterologist, internationally recognized gut health expert, and New York Times bestselling author of Fiber Fueled and the Fiber Fueled Cookbook. He is an adjunct assistant professor of medicine at the Emory School of Medicine. He is also the U.S. medical director of personalized nutrition at the company Zoe. We had a guest on previously from Zoe. He has authored more than 20 articles, published in peer-reviewed scientific journals, and has given more than 40 presentations at national meetings,

presented to Congress and the USDA, and has taught over 10,000 students how to heal and optimize their gut health. For more information about this subject, thousand students how to heal and optimize their gut health. For more information about this subject, visit the website zoe.com slash will be to find out more about poop, take a quiz, learn about yourself and get healthier. Anything else you want to tell us about your journey into poop, Dr. B? This is not what I expected to be doing for a living, to be honest with you. Well, what was your original occupation? We?

Well, I thought I would be a pediatrician, but then something changed and I ended up here. Well, it's important. Everyone does it. You're not going to run out of clients. You know, you got a good point. To be honest with you, my wife tells me all the time that I'm like way too comfortable talking about this stuff. So to me, it's really not that big of a deal. This is what I've done for a living for many years. But I think when you dream of going to medical school, it's not to become a proctologist. Right.

So, but you're okay. So we've talked about my hemorrhoids and stuff, but you're very comfortable with all this. Okay, so we've talked about my hemorrhoids and all that stuff, but you're all very comfortable with all this. Could you eat a sandwich whilst watching Two Girls, One Cup? Would that be like nothing to you? You know, Jim, I mean, you're talking about the 1960s a moment ago, and now you're bringing us back to the 90s.

That was quite a while ago. Two Girls, One Cup is not from the 90s. I would have to review the fifth notes on that. We didn't even have the internet in the 90s. If Two Girls, One Cup was back in the 90s, it have to review the 50s on that. We didn't even have the internet in the 90s. If Two Girls, One Cup was back in the 90s, it would have been on a video that you passed to a friend. It was their life. That's right. The good ways of MPEGs.

I thought you were going to say, could you eat a sandwich while on the toilet? Oh, I can eat a sandwich while on the toilet. I mean, I can do it too, but I don't do it. I've had a wank whilst pooing. I could definitely eat that that is creative right there yeah it might be the reason for my severe hemorrhoids no one yeah you're not supposed to sit in the toilet a long time you know

normally my patients won't cop up to that something like that they won't say that they've been wanking it on the toilet but i don't do it often i have had a poo and then like it's taken a while and then i've got something. Got a little bored. Yeah, got a little bored. You got distracted and you found something interesting. Yeah, yeah. Or I was looking at my phone and then something caught me fancy. And I'm going, oh, here we go.

Pre-phone days, I've got to tell you, I've got to tell you, the magazine, right, has died out because of the phone. The phone, yeah. The phone. It's not because of e-readers. It's because we used to read them while shitting. We used to have a tray next to us. You won't know this, Jack.

No, I do, I do. We had this in my house. You used to have a basket that was sort of scooped to the bottom that you'd put magazines on top of each other. And then you'd pick up, and people used to bring out books just for the toilet, but I would read women's magazines, those sort of gossipy sort of,

oh, who's dating who before the internet. That's how we got our knowledge while shitting. I had a magazine holder by my bathroom, by my toilet in my last house and I put the Simpsons scripts in there. Yeah, yeah. Nice. Had a nice little toilet.

You hear Jack on the toilet like this. Oh, homie. Homie. I'm scared of you laughing in the bathroom. Oh, a big poo coming out of my bottom. At my last house, I put a commendation I got from the mayor. It reminded me of saving a person from drowning.

I never was going to hang that. I thought, why am I going to hang this in my house? I saved somebody. I think Orlando, who's sitting right over there, didn't you give me the idea? No, you're not participating. Yeah, our buddy Orlando is just sitting over there. I think he put me the idea? Or no, you're not participating. Yeah, our buddy Orlando's just sitting over there. I think he told me, I think put it there

so people can see why they're pooping. And then I put it there as a joke. Then people will come out and be like, you saved somebody from Batman? I was like, yeah, I was supposed to be like. I've got to hang out. You're a captive audience. At the moment, I've got to hang out.

I've got a Time magazine that I purchased of the Beatles from when they brought out Sergeant Peppers. Yeah. I've got that up there, and that's a picture I look at every day when I poop. Where's your anti-Jim Jefferies certificate? That's in the trunk of my car with other things. Okay. So I brought it for something, and I've got stuff.

Jim's trunk is public storage. Yeah. So he keeps all his stuff. I've got little knickknacks there. All right, let's get started. Dr. Bolzewicz, I'm going to ask Jim a series of questions about poop at the end of answering them. Just stop calling it poop as well.

Like all of us do, poop. We're Americans. Call it shit or feces. Well, get ready. There's a lot of poop. I've always thought that fetus and feces are too close in words. Those two, did you get rid of the feces? Yes, yes, had to go to Mexico.

What? So I'm going to ask him these questions about excrement, feces, whatever you want to call it. At the end of these questions, Dr. B, you're going to grade him on his accuracy, 0 through 10, 10 is the best. Jackson will grade him on confidence, how confident he was. I'm going to grade him on his accuracy, 0 through 10. 10's the best. Jackson, I'm going to grade him on confidence. That's right. How confident he was. I'm going to grade him on how hungry I am.

And Forrest showed up late today, so I assume very hungry. Normally, he gives himself a little bit of time to get something before the show. He was late. He had to jump in his car right away. He missed the time, so he's starving. I'm fucking. That's a 10 already. And I couldn't be more confident.

So we'll add those together. If you score 21 through 30, Jim. I'll be the shit. Just solid. Yeah, solid. Solid's good. 11 through 20, floater. Zero through 10, what did you eat?

Why do you think a floater's no good? I like a floater. We'll have to discuss that, whether a floating poo. It's a question. Don't worry about it. Which one's better? First question. I'm glad we're going to cover this this what's the average amount of poop produced by an adult human in a day um you should do one like you're talking cubic feet you know like like you should

do one good size poo i do one i do two actually and i do one good poo and one disastrous poo every day. So that's the amount? That's the average amount? I'm going to tell you in weight because I know how much I weigh when I get off the scales. I lose at least a pound every time I have a shit, but that includes wee. So I'm going to say half a pound. Like if you look at a pound of mincemeat, right, a grown man like you look at a pound of mince meat right a grown man like me

half a pound half a pound of mince meat so how many times per day should a person poop you're saying two one to two one to two why does poop smell so bad um yeah look it's maybe it's just marketing you know what i mean like maybe we're all designed to think it smells bad. But fuck me. Doesn't smell good, is it? It's got to be... Name me a smell worse than shit. Name me a smell.

I think rotten eggs. Rotten eggs. Like, rotten, rancid... Vomit's terrible. Rancid meat. Old fish. Oh! Dead things.

Rancid fish. Is rancid fish worse than a human Like would you rather someone leave a shit in the back of your car Or a fish in the back of your car And I'm going to answer that question You think I think fish Because the other day I came home

The other day I came home And I went to go lay on the couch I'd been away for the weekend And I turned to my wife And I said These are my exact words I went to go lay on the couch. I'd been away for the weekend, and I turned to my wife, and I said, these are my exact words, why is there human feces on our sofa? And she's like, what?

And it was a perfect turd. It wasn't like spread all over the place. What had happened earlier that day, my wife had changed the diaper and wiped him and cleaned him and then went to get the wipers and just left him there, and he decided to do another shit. There was just another log just sitting there but it on its own not tread into or anything like that it's it didn't smell very much i can see how it just left there but it was just a there's just a just a log just sitting on the thing i'm decided poop smells better than rotten fish to answer your question yeah i think why. That was one of the questions, right?

I think so. What does it mean if you're, here, I'll change up the words. What does it mean if your bowel movement floats? It means that your poo is floating on top of the water rather than, sometimes you have a poo that goes down, up into the S-bend. Why is it floating? Why is it floating? Oh.

I know what floating means. Oh, it's because when you eat in the Big Mac, you ate the styrofoam box on the outside as well. I don't know. I assume it's because it's not as dense as water. That's why things float. It has less density, so it's a lot. It doesn't always float.

Yeah, but sometimes you do a denser poo. This is a lighter poo. Okay. This is less dense. Like, there's some hollow. Maybe you've got some corn husks in there. What? Husks?

You know how you accidentally eat corn husks all the time? No, but it's not the corn husks, but it's the corn. The corn doesn't digest. The inside of the corn digests. The outside of the corn doesn't digest. That would give it more buoyancy. How does it get its brown color? Well, it goes through stomach acids.

It goes through lining. It goes through... It's pretty brown, usually. Yeah, yeah. No, yeah, yeah. It gets it from your stomach acids, I believe, going into your colon. Whatever breaks down the food into shit is what makes it the brown color. Why does it sometimes change color?

Because it can't break down everything, Forrest. It can't break down everything. That's why if you have squid ink, that trumps it. Yeah. Squid ink will blacken a poo up like no one's business. Yeah. It's acai. And look, Guinness is second to squid ink,

and Guinness can do real damage, right? But squid ink is the number one But I tell you what, man I sometimes get from my friends at Cousin Maine Lobster Who sometimes send me lobster rolls Because I just say nice things about them But also the finest product on earth I'm not being paid for this advertising

No I'm not being paid for it I buy Cousin Maine Lobster kits And I sit there and i'll and i go i'll eat them over the course of a week and i finish six lobster rolls in a day now when i do the six lobster roll day there's weed involved of course i'm not doing this just sober right uh when i do that i will have a pinkish hue to my shit from all the protein-y, lobster-y color.

I will get a bit of pink in there. That's cute. Like a flamingo. I'm like a flamingo. Flamingos are pink because they eat shrimp. That's not their natural color. All right. How long does it take for food to turn into poop?

I believe it's about 14 hours. 14 hours. And can what you eat change the smell? I believe that what you eat would have an effect on the smell. Make it smell better? Well, I don't know. Yes, better. Less bad is better.

It's never going to smell good. It's not like you eat a bowl of papuri and all of a sudden your papu's gonna smell like fucking lavender right that's not how it works but like different foods will do different things so you know indian food makes you poop a bit more and can change the hue of your uh poo because of all the that that that yellow saffron i'm gonna say saffron will change things okay here's one why does it come out in different shapes sometimes it's because of the different fiber it's the things that you put in your body you put do a you do a diet just solid protein it's going to be a hard poo i i've never had to have a laxative i've always can get a shit out but my wife oh

jeez if we're on vacation and it's not a toilet she's comfortable with she'll hold one in for fucking days it's like a whole thing bloody can't women can't no she's a lovely lady can Can your poop be used for fertilizer? And if yes, why would it be effective? Yes, your poo, human shit, can be used for fertilizer in the same way that, you know, so Dynamic Lifter is just chicken shit, right? That was chicken shit became one of the best things you could put on plants. Yeah.

And then we got mamua, which is just normal. Yeah, but why is it good? Because it's break down. Because worms and bung beetles will eat through the shit, which makes the soil got more life to it. And that's how it will break through because the bugs will eat through and compost the shit to make the fertilizer and i'm trying to think you're saying a lot of good words i'm trying to think of things i'm trying to think of things that uh because my my dad said my dad said circle of life he wouldn't eat certain mushroom now i'm just saying i'm just i'm just passing on

this bit of information this isn't something i believe i'm just reporting something right this is important to say so my dad believes that there's certain mushrooms that come from asia that are fertilized with human shit so he won't eat them it could just be basic racism or it could be a thing. Yeah, that falls under basic racism. Not advanced. The building blocks for racism. Advanced racism. It could be, but that's a belief that I've been told.

That would be if the whole dish, like if you went there and the whole dish was cooked. No, I believe the mushrooms are clean. He goes, there's certain, and it was maybe even like, he believes that prawns from Asia as well have something to do with humans. I don't know. All right. Let's get a couple more questions. I don't think people are shit in the water. A couple more questions.

How does stress affect your bowel movements? I don't know. I'm always stressed out. So this is just my normal fucking demeanor. This isn't just about getting better. I believe you need to poo more when you're in a panic situation because your body just sort of goes, like, get rid of everything bad.

All right. How can you tell someone's health by looking at their poop? Oh, no, I got to poo. Like, if you just look at poop, how can you tell somebody's health? There used to be a TV show in Britain where what do you eat, right? And then as the episodes went on, there was always like two-thirds through the episode, always you get a fat family, right, living in the north of England.

And they'd be like this, all we do is we eat pies. We eat pies all day. And then what we do is we eat these cheese crusty things, but they've got too much to munch on, so I just blend them up and drink them, right? It'd be a family like this. and then the lady's like this, ooh, you shouldn't do that, that's bad, that'll kill you, that will. What?

Shall I smoke more then? No, don't smoke more, that'll also kill you. I don't understand what's going on. And then eventually they get these fat people in this British TV show to shit in a fucking takeaway container container. And she takes it right. It's always a tip. The funny thing is they never look like terrible turds. Like I would have one that would be like,

like, like in a cup and I'd call it a bloody Mary floater. Right. I have no idea what you're talking about. How can you tell someone's health by looking at their poop? I'm getting to that. This is how fucking, this is how the entertainment business works.

You got to tease. You got to tease. I watch a lot of documentaries, right? You don't go straight to, oh, you find what fucking if there's grains are being digested, right? Turn your phone off. Be professional. Anyway, so, so fucking, yeah. So, so the thing is, you can look through the shit. You can see if you're digesting things. You can see the things that go through you, through your system, a la my shit that we've all seen the photo of with the heart. That's our guest. Oh, okay.

He's there sorting through his poo. He's got a sift right now, and he's like a fucking miner from the turn of the century trying to find the good bits. Anyway, so I once had a shit, doctor. There's a famous photo of it. Getting uncomfortable, that's what's happening. There's a famous photo of it and it's got a full chip in it and an olive. We can talk about that later.

We're going to do the questions. Well, I'm saying if you looked at that, you'd know I was unhealthy. You can show that. The end. What causes diarrhea? It's something that doesn't agree with you. It's something, I won't say the chemical compound, but normally it's something, food that has had botulism,

you know what I mean, that you're not happy with. I'm going to skip a couple of these so we can get to it. What animals eat their own poop? I've seen dogs do it so i'm going to put dogs in there uh i'll say that there'll be a lot of marine life that would eat their own poo because of algae and stuff like that and it's already in the water so any anything in the ocean is eating shit in particles of it and and dogs and i would say that there'd be that probably 100 animals,

but they're just a couple of examples that we can all enjoy. And how do they use feces to communicate, animals? Oh, I know this about someone. It might be the elephants have poo that they leave messages. They're just like to tell their friends, like, hey, I'll be back here on Tuesday. How do they do it? By shitting and just going, it's where I'll be.

Okay. Last question. What are fecal matter transplants? Oh, we learned about this. Yeah, we did. You get feces from other people. And you get it transplanted into your colon, and there's some medical benefit for this.

Yeah, I knew you were going to get that part. Yeah, there's some. What's the benefit? It gets you out of like a dinner party you don't want to go to. I'd like to come, but I just had a fecal transplant. No one asks too many questions, and you get to move on with your day how did jim do in his knowledge of poop zero through ten tens the best i mean i was actually pretty impressed i i have to give him a seven there were a couple that he

hit there were a couple that he hit there were a couple that i would i don't know what he was talking about but yeah story about the people maybe you should have done a few more years of college how do you do a confidence jack uh i'm gonna give him a seven as well he had he didn't know all the answers but man that london story um that was pure confidence that one what london story the what about the brit British people oh that's pretty that's 14 the northern English people you go down there

yeah 14 the whole family gives her boxes of shit in Tupperware like this on television and then she comes back

she's never like this she comes back every episode like this yeah we got it she comes back every episode like this not good news 14

not good news your shit was filled with shit I'm not that hungry actually but I'll still give you a 10 so you're solid hey alright Dr. Bolsiewicz what's the average amount Not good news. 14. Not good news. Your shit was filled with shit. I'm not that hungry, actually. But I'll still give you a 10, so you're solid. Hey. All right.

Dr. Bolzewicz, what's the average amount of poop produced by an adult human in a day? Jim says he has one good size and then another one that's disastrous. Yeah. Half a pound. I don't know what was going on with the disastrous one. But what I do know is he did say that he weighed himself before and after and he loses a pound. That's actually the answer. That typically a good, healthy bowel movement weighs about a pound.

That's it. That's me weight loss. So you lose a pound. Yeah, I lose a weight. Because I always have a shit first thing in the morning. I wake up and then I weigh myself just before. But I thought the piss was taking up half a pound, so I said half a pound. Hold on, though.

But wait. So Shaq is a pound on a pound. No, but this is the average animal. My wife doesn't shit a pound, I'll tell you that much. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's proportional. It's proportional to the size of the person. So, I mean, Shaq's probably dropping a two-pound dump.

Yeah. Maybe three. Easy, two or three um you know like this is for an average size man an average size man's about 200 pounds so my wife size one pound dump my wife and mother-in-law my mother-in-law listens hello becca hello they both they both clog toilets up when we go away anywhere i think they're shoving too much paper down the toilet they say it's because they don't have many shits when they're on vacation they only have the one so

it's a big shit i don't believe there's a shit big enough on earth yeah that's what you want to talk to ask i know it's because my wife uses too much toilet paper and she doesn't if she flushed incrementally as she went along there'd be no problem but then i mean the answer is the same either way right she needs to interrupt that dump and flush it. Exactly. Thank you, doctor. So I said this on an earlier podcast when we were doing- What were we doing then?

Hemorrhoids. We do a lot of episodes. Right? So we're doing hemorrhoids. I mentioned this before that my wife doesn't do the dump. And my mother-in-law contacted me and she goes, I clog toilets as well. Me and your daughter do great big healthy poos.

And she says it's because their diet is so good that they're nice and firm and they clog toilets up. Now, my mother-in-law and my wife do have very good diets. So there might be something to it. They have a lot of fiber. Jim, what if there's something to you being attracted to women with big ds are you saying i'm attracted to my mother-in-law i am by the way but that's not the reason it seems to be uh i don't know maybe there's something there so one pound is the average and then how many times per day jim says one to two one to two yeah the typical the typical american or someone in the

uk goes once a day that's the most common answer um that being said there's a wide range of possibilities and there are also by the way people who poop once a day and it's not enough for them so but the most common is one i i'm closer to two, but I always do one. I always do one. I think I do two. If we were getting enough fiber in our diet, most of us would be probably going two or three times a day. I go less on the road because I don't have the...

We got a friend in Orlando in the corner. What did you just do? He does a three. And he also, when he held up three, he holds up three fingers like this. Like he's a Van Buren boy. That's how I do it. That's German.

I do three. This hurts. Yeah, no wonder I've got a trigger. I can't do that anymore. My fingers. The NBA players are doing it like this now. They do it on their arm. I'm not sure what it means, but they go like that.

Oh, when they hit a three. Yeah, when they hit a three. Because they've got ice in their veins. I don't know. I think that's what it is. That seems like a bad problem to have. Yeah, you don hit a three. Because they've got ice in their veins. I don't know. I think that's what it is. That seems like a bad problem to have. Yeah, you don't want that. This spring, get out there, enjoy the weather,

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See terms at casino.draftkings.com slash promos. Restrictions apply. Why does poop smell so bad? Jim said maybe it's just marketing. We're designed to think it smells bad. That's the only thing he said. It's smart. I'm pretty sure it's not marketing.

I'm pretty sure every generation in human history has agreed that poop smells bad. But it's interesting. There's a couple possibilities. So first of all, it can be sulfur, sulfur from our diet, which creates the rotten egg smell, which was one of the things that Jim brought up. And you can get that from eggs. You can also get that from garlic or things like broccoli, cabbage. So those are sort of classics. And then there's this other aspect that I think

is kind of interesting. The chemists have discovered this chemical called scatol i don't know if they named it that but that's what they call it scatol that is found in all mammalian feces and when it comes in small amounts it actually smells like a flower like jasmine whoa but when you get to larger amounts it's unpleasant so it's kind of interesting do men shit smell more than female shits or i don't know jim that anyone's actually formerly studied that oh i'll tell you i'll tell you there has been studies in my household uh there's been extensive studies jeffrey's medical journal not only no there's been extensive studies the Jeffries Medical Journal not only there's been generations

of studies of Nugent men my mother when my father did her shit right we had one toilet we had one toilet

in the whole house right one toilet to cover five we had three men four men right three boys

and my dad and my mum and my mother my mother was wow she was a wide woman. If she was, her ass was bloody. If my mum sat on the toilet, the toilet knew about it. Fucking hell. She actually, what killed her was her last shit.

This is very true. My mother's last shit, she broke her leg standing up and that's over the infection. It my mother's last shit she broke her leg standing up and that's over the infection it's because she wanted to shit in her home before she went to the nursing home that's what killed her anyway so so my mother would go i would argue that my mother's there was always a box of matches in there lighter match that was the catchphrase of our house lighter match right and there would be a toilet roll that would have one of those those dolls that stuck in with a dress went over the top yeah the thing like classy stuff right so anyway

so so my if my if my father went in there my mother would every time my dad had a shit we all knew about we lived in a very small house but because mum would bloody go on about it your father's had a shit oh your father's had a shit. Oh, your father's had a shit. And the whole house smells now. I don't know. It's like he wanted to do it on purpose. Whereupon my father would retort with, right, he would come back with, oh, if you want to have a fun time,

go in straight after your mother's had one. She makes the room smell better. Your mother does shits that smells like roses, right? That just occurred to me. You guys only had one bathroom. What a nice guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I've been to the house. You grew up there. And it just occurred to me you only had one bathroom for four guys. Yeah. In one. Oh, man. Who gets to go first? Who goes first?

And I figured out, okay, so myy is he's bigger he was always bigger than me he still is bigger than me and he became a cop and he he but he he uh being seven years older than me if he wanted to deal out like a bit of an ass kicking on me when i was a kid he used to fucking have a go you know if you if you threw something at him you don't look you didn't want to danny to go after you yeah right so i only had moments where I could retaliate against my older brother, right? And so I would wait until, look, all the moons had to align, all the planets had to align, right? I would wait until I had my shift at McDonald's, right?

And dad was waiting out in the driveway. So I'd be in my McDonald's outfit, that polyester outfit, right? And dad was waiting out in the driveway. So I'd be in my McDonald's outfit, that polyester outfit, right? That's always good in front of a vat of burning oil, right? So I'd be 14 years old in my polyester outfit. Dad would have the car warm so I'd have a get out vehicle. If my brother Danny went in to have a shit, I knew that I had this moment that I could beat him and leave the door swung open and it would smash him right in the knee and if he wasn't smart enough to lock what I would do is

I would go up to the door I would open it I'd smack it into his leg until he was crying with pain then I'd run out to the driveway get in the car and go off to do my 8 hour shift by that stage

he's calmed down he's not you're not going to come home and get your ass kicked holy shit wow there was it was war living in that house man every door every door had fucking holes in it from where we would chase after each other like one one time, Scott tried to kill Danny with a golf club, and it was like the shining. You had to be on your toes. So I just looked up this thing, Skatole, by the way, S-K-A-T-O-L-E. And yeah, that's crazy.

So shit does smell good in smaller, well, I guess it doesn't smell good ever. But if you got down to the micro, it would smell good. It smelled like a perfume. Why does human shit smell worse than animal shit for the most part? I can't think of animal shit that smells worse than human shit. Elephants. I've been to zoo. No.

No, not next to human feasts. Dog shit. Are you asking my question? Dog shit gives it a run for its money. Are you asking? But an open air human shit. We live in L.A., so we have homeless shit on the walkway. Open air. Is it worse?

Is it worse? Human shit trumps animal shit all day. Is it worse? Is it worse? Yeah, I think it's your preference, Jim. If you were living on the streets of London, like before the sewerage thing and there's just shit flowing down the street you wouldn't have been bloody happy you would have fucking prayed

yeah but i would have prayed for elephant shit but that's concentrated that's concentrated that's not fair yeah because i've driven that's not just a single yeah i've driven an i-5 before when you get by those cows you can't even breathe all right okay okay you're telling me yes that if we had a field of human shitting you can yell all you want if you had a field this is not yelling this is being passionate if if you had a field of humans just doing dumps yeah you would preferable to driving past a field of cow shit yes jack you have to be to the deciding vote what's is is there animal shit does animal shit smell the same worse or better than human shit i've thrown up from the smell of animal

shit but not human shit there you go oh yeah but when have you ever seen a live air human shit i just remember the old office and when the shower kept backing up, I could handle it. Orlando wants to vote. Orlando? Orlando's a gem. Dr. B, who do you think? Cows or humans? What smells worse? Oh gosh, I mean cows versus humans

I probably think humans smell worse but I swear when you go to the zoo you're smelling it everywhere. I mean, come on. Aaron, what do you got first? but I swear when you go to the zoo, you're smelling it everywhere. I mean, come on. The human enclosure would be worse. Aaron, what have you got for us? I might go humans. Yeah, humans are the worst shit.

That's the worst shit. We're the worst shit. You wouldn't know why because our diet is too varied. You've got a lion. A lion's just eating red meat all day and moving on with it. A cow's just eating grass all day or corn all day or whatever. We're eating all the above. We're eating fucking everything.

You can't have a mac and cheese grilled sandwich and still think that your shit's going to be fucking decent. What does it mean if your poop? If I just ate grass, my shit would be amazing. There's only one way to find out. What does it mean if your poop floats? Jim says you accidentally ate some styrofoam from a big mac box. That was a joke.

That was a joke. Maybe you have some corn husks. Still a joke. That was still real. That was real. Okay. What does it mean if it's floating? You know, people ask this all the time,

and many times people are very concerned about this. And there is one specific scenario where it can be problematic. Most of the time it doesn't matter, to be totally honest with you. But if you also notice that there's oil or grease on the surface of the water, that can mean that you are basically having a fat-filled poop. And that can mean that you're not digesting fat properly. There's a number of reasons that may happen. But you're saying not to be concerned about it if it's like that?

No, no. If you see an oil slick, if it looks like there's oil covering the surface of the water and your poop is floating, you should talk to a doctor about that. Isn't there an amount of mucus in the asshole to help the shit come out? Isn't that real? There's some natural lubricants that are there. It shouldn't be so much that there's a visible amount of mucus on the poop.

I mean, if you're seeing a lot of mucus on the poop, sometimes that's constipation, to be honest with you. But if you're seeing a lot, then that's also something you may want to talk to a doctor about. So just to be clear, if it's floating, it's okay. If it's floating, it won't oil sick bad. So if it's floating, it just means you have like what? Some kind of diet that makes it floater.

Yeah. Yeah. And the thing too is if you look, if your poop is floating and that's the only thing that's going on and you feel perfectly fine, you're having no symptoms whatsoever, no bloating or pain or anything like that. There's probably nothing to be concerned about, to be honest with you. But if you have other changes, you're seeing oil in the toilet bowl or that's going on with other changes in your bowel habits other gi symptoms then that's that's where there may be something to that what kind of oil like motor oil

like olive oil what kind of orange it's like an orange color oil um chili oil and it's almost like you poured like uh like sesame oil into the toilet. It's stuff you put dumplings in. Sounds good. It tastes great on the way in. How does poop get its brown color? Jim said stomach acids and whatever breaks down the food turns it. Yeah, he was wrong about that. The answer is it's the liver juice, so it's bile.

Bile comes from your liver. So if you were to block the liver, block the bile duct, which can happen with a gallstone, people start having actually weird clay-colored poop, like almost like an ashen gray color. And I was right about like squid ink and Guinness and all that type of stuff and the lobster. Maybe I wasn't right, but what other things can change the colour of your shit?

Yeah. I haven't heard the lobster one before. I've done it too many times for it to be a coincidence. He eats a lot of lobster. Within that day, I've eaten three pounds of lobster. It's aggressive. Yes. Oh, yes.

Yes, it's not good yeah yeah the only thing that is making it come out of my ass is the butter that's the oil slick how about the roll that buttery rolls no no they're still logged in there they're not going anywhere um so anyways you're answering the question that sometimes they change it changes color one of the yeah there Yeah, there's other colors. So you could have green. Green could be that you have a parasite. It could also be that you ate too many greens.

So if you were to take Jim's approach to lobster and make the most massive green smoothie in the world, and that's all you consume for a couple days, you're going to start having green poop. I had green cordial, like GI, they call it, GI cordial, and that can make you poop. What's cordial? Americans don't know what cordial is. It's like squash. You add a little bit, and the rest is water.

Squash. It's like Mio. Yeah, it's like Mio, but it's like just as a kid, you have raspberries, like real kids' flavor, like Kool-Aid. Jim didn't tell me you had to water it down, so I drank the syrup just straight up. Yeah, I bought some green stuff, and I said, Jack, this is really delicious.

And Jack just drank it straight, and he didn't have the heart to tell me that he didn't like it. It must have been horrible. It looked like antifreeze. It was so frightening. Yeah, you're meant to have that. You're meant to have less than 5% of the glass is the stuff. So beets is another one.

But OK, so forget food. So you said- I'm off beats because of the oxalates because the oxalates give me i'm i can't have oxalates because of my kidney stone what's that oxalate oxalates are in nuts i think it's sesame seeds that sort of did it to me sesame seeds nuts miso has it so now i used to think miso i didn't know that miso and soy were the same thing right so i was like in sushi restaurants going i can't to think miso, I didn't know that miso and soy were the same thing. Right? So I was like in sushi restaurants going, I can't have the miso cod, but I was dipping everything in soy.

And the guy's like, you're eating meat. So now I've had to have soy-free soy because the oxalates have gotten to me. Oxalates. Give me kidney stones. That's my kidney stones. Because our friend here, Orlando, he has kidney stones. He gets it from meat, don't you? Animal protein.

Animal protein. I get it from meat, don't you? Animal protein. I get it from oxalates. But all the oxalates were the things that I was good eating. I eat beets like out the wazoo. We call them beetroot in Australia. I put it on hamburgers. I love beetroot. I'll eat the beetroot salad. That beetroot salad with a bit of fucking goat cheese

was my favorite thing in the world. Can't fucking have it anymore. So what other colors should you be? If it's green and you haven't had a green drink, that's bad, you said, right? Yeah, that can be that you have like a Giardia or a parasite type thing going on. So that can make it green. Or like you're having a virus, which can, of course, be like a 24-hour bug. And then the two that people need to know i mean of course red we think of beats and that can of course be bleeding as well so it sounds like you guys have already done an episode

on hemorrhoids that's a classic cause of bright red blood uh that you would see in the stool and then the last thing is black black all right black black can be um could be squid ink, can be blueberries, can be iron pills, or can be bleeding, particularly in the stomach. So blood that's been in the intestines for a while, classically a stomach ulcer, will give you black poop. And the way that you know that something's really wrong is actually the smell. The smell is very distinct. It's disgusting. And, for example, in the hospital, as I walk through the hospital, I can detect the smell from across the building and know that, hey, there's a patient that I need to go see. And you just walk in there and go, black shits, I presume?

Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. Captain Black Shits. How long does it take for food to turn to the excrement? Jim says 14 hours. 14 hours was not a bad guess. We actually did a study. So it's interesting.

People can experiment with this at home if they want to. And we did a study at Zoe where we fed people blue muffins. And the blue food dye, if you consume enough of it, will actually show up in your poop typically in a day or two days um so anyway 14 hours was fast if you were if you were faster than 14 hours less than 14 that's fast uh abnormally fast um normal was 14 to 58 hours so anywhere in that range is how long it would take for things to go i'd actually looked at this before i remember the hours 14 stuck in me because you can't do it faster than 14 is what i remember because my wife yeah my wife will eat something and then three hours later she'll go oh

that didn't agree with me because she just had a shit i'm like that's not that's think of the meal before that yeah yeah let's see how you're going and going? And I had to Google it to show her that that was the, yeah. So, Jim, you're bringing up a good point because sometimes people will eat a meal and then they'll like literally go step into the bathroom, take a dump, and they'll go, hey, that just ran right through me. No, it did not. There's this thing called the gastrocolic reflux, gastro for stomach, colic for colon. gastro-colic reflux, gastro for stomach, colic for colon. And so when you put something into your stomach, basically the stomach sends a signal down to the colon that it needs to create space.

So many times when people eat a meal, that's why they go and they have a bowel movement. That's the same reason that many people have the best bowel movement of the day after breakfast. I'm pretty regular. I have that. That's working good in my body, whatever that, the gastro-colic response. I have that. That's working good in my body, whatever that gastrocolic response.

I fast two days a week. That's my diet of choice that works for me anyway. I fast two days. I'm fasting today. I'm not going to eat today. But I'll still have a shit tomorrow. What's going on? Great question.

If you fasted, you would still poop. Right. And the reason why is because poop is not actually the excrement of your food. The majority of the weight of poop is actually coming from your microbiome. So that is the bacteria living inside of you. So 60% of the weight of your stool comes from the microbes. So as long as you have the creation of new microbes, you will continue to have poops. And this is, by the way, Jim, the same reason that when you consume a high-fiber diet,

because you are creating more microbes with fiber, you'll have bigger dumps. It's not just that the fiber runs through you and is roughage. It's also that the fiber is creating a bigger bowel movement because you're creating more bacteria. Well, I didn't know about that. That was actually a dinner party fact he had written down.

Yeah, but that's a bloody good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 60% of your waiter poop comes from bacteria, so when you're fasting, yeah. Yeah, but when you're fasting, I was still sitting because I couldn't understand, and I thought that it was just I'd found a bit more up the colon. I found something from three days ago. Hey, we found some stuff. We've got to get rid of it.

Can what you eat change the smell? Yes. Jim says saffron will change things. from three days ago. Hey, we found some stuff. We got to get rid of it. Can you really, can what you eat change the smell? Yes. Jim says saffron will change things. I like when I read the answers. Saffron will change things. Yeah. I mean, I liked that part.

I mean, I didn't know what the inference was when he started talking about Indian food. I was like, where is he going with this? But then the saffron came out and I thought that that sort of got him back on track. That was good.

Yeah. So it can change the smell. Food. You already said garlic. You said garlic. Well, yeah, yeah. Those are the classic sort of rotten egg smells, Jim. But the thing is at the end of the day, look, if your, if your poop is reflective of your microbiome,

then the health of your microbiome is also going to be reflected in the smell. And so if you eat more healthful plant-based foods, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, seeds, nuts, et cetera, then you're actually helping to support and nurture a healthier microbiome, and that typically will result in better smelling poop. So you're saying that plant-based diets give us the best shits are you actually definitively saying that like i think plant-based diets give us the best shits because the more fiber that you consume i mean

first of all you have to think about the fact that 95 of americans are deficient in fiber so a lot of the argument about humans have the worst, most foul-smelling poop, well, that's like, look at our diet, what we're eating right now. 60% of our calories in the United States, and by the way, the UK is pretty similar, Australia is pretty similar, 60% of our calories come from ultra-processed foods. These foods didn't exist for our grandparents. So could you definitively say that plants will give you a better shit

than a corn dog? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. That's a hard yes. You're putting your reputation on the line if you want to say that. I'll stand behind that one. Alright, alright. Just one corn dog? If people out there want to test this theory and prove him wrong...

One of you eat a corn dog. One of you eat a salad. Why does it come out in different shapes sometimes? Sometimes I eat the whole stick. That's a terrible shit. Jim said different fibers and different things you put in your body create different shapes sometimes. Is that correct? Well, there is some truth to that.

I mean, if you consume more fiber, then the interesting thing about fiber, real quick, is that it helps constipation and it also helps diarrhea. So it's the only thing that exists that can help to kind of bring you back towards the middle. Whereas almost everything else sort of nudges you hard in the other direction. So like a laxative can give you diarrhea, right? So fiber does help us to have those nice shaped sausage shaped bowel movements, which is what we're striving to have. But the weird shapes are actually typically the pelvic floor so it's the anus muscle there's a couple of anus muscles actually haven't had one of them in years that one my my one's like a full hoop

the bowl of the pelvis holds all these muscles and you know when we we sort of take it for granted when we poop it's like a symphony right um these muscles are working in coordination in a specific way to allow us to release that defecation and when they get thrown out of sync it's like a bad concert yeah man i'm gonna put a picture on my side, up in my bathroom. Well, we, in the green room this past weekend, Jim heard me. I did a symphony for him, and through the door he goes. Forrest went into the bathroom, and he

made some horrible noises. Two rooms away, Jim's like, You should have invited him in for the show. Was this Kansas City or Iowa? Kansas City. It wasn't when we had Kansas City until we ate Iowa. He didn't even eat barbecue, so we had no Iowa the night City. It wasn't why we ate in Kansas City. It was why we ate in Iowa. He didn't even eat barbecue. It was why we had no Iowa the night before.

The food was good this weekend. We're learning. I'll tell you, I must have told this story before when it first happened. My father, who's 82 years old, and my mother passed away four years ago, just so we can put this in context. So my father was having some diarrhea that was going on a few too many days, right? It went on like two or three days where he's like, all right, I got to fucking see a doctor.

I got to do something like this, right? So my mother was a big fan of medicine. If you could give her a pill, she'd fucking take it, right? Anyone, she had them all there, right? So he went to my mother's medicine cabinet now my mother's been dead for at this stage three years and my father found some laxatives he had diarrhea right but he found he found he found some laxatives that on the side of the container said to him like medical like prescribed ones that said uh for a soft stool

right and my dad went because at the moment he's just got liquid. He's like this. I'd love a soft one. A soft one. He thought that the medication went either way. It would always just get to you to that stool, right? So my father with severe diarrhea for another five days took laxatives. Yeah.

He's like he wasn't half full. He'd always kill it. No, he had to go to the hospital. Oh, he's like he wasn't hospitalized. He'd always kill. No, he had to go to the hospital. Oh, he did have to go to the hospital. He had to go to the hospital. He was so severely dehydrated. Yeah, he was just dehydrated. That's unbelievable.

And he went. The poor guy. Oh, yeah. And then my brother, my brother came over, right? And my brother lives in Sydney with him, so my brother always has to help him out. My other brother lives in Perth, so he doesn't have to help me out. I live in America, so I feel for my brother with this thing.

You know, Dad has to call him up, and he goes, I've been taking these laxatives. They haven't helped at all. It's made things worse. And then my brother's like, Dad, these are to make you fucking shit more. Why? Of course you're worse. You're amazing you haven't fucking dropped dead.

Right? Right? Now, so I hear that version of the story from my brother. And then I ring up my dad, and my dad's like this. Oh, Danny came over. He gets into me too much. He's always telling me off. but he didn't say why. He's just like, Danny came over and told me off,

but it was because he was taking laxatives on top of diarrhea. What about flat poop? This is also a man who found mushrooms in his backyard and decided to cook them up. And geez, I was sick. Geez, I was sick. Now, he was either dying from poison or this is a man who's never taken illicit drugs in his whole life so he can't eat those chinese mushrooms yeah so

he also he also one time went to a french restaurant and thought fuck this and just cooked up snails that he found in the backyard he's a complex man how natural selection hasn't wiped this bastard off the earth is beyond me and if you're wondering how to have horribly smelling poop you've just given us the answer yeah oh when your mother goes in there it's wonderful you should go in there sometimes i go in after she has a shit just to enjoy the smell um i mean i have to tell you i think it's romantic that he said that i mean i think he was being sarcastic between me and you i think that might have been

yeah i never heard they never said many nice things to each other yeah flat though that's as good as it gets before we move on from the shapes what if it's flat your poop's flat asking for jack yeah that's an interesting question. I think at the end of the day, the way that, not to be too graphic here, but the way that the bottom is opening and closing can ultimately determine what the shape looks like. And so if it just sort of opens in a way that has that sort of more flat, oval shape, that's what you're going to get.

That's when you say you curled one out. Yeah. And you curl it out. It is flat and curly. Yeah, when you get a little bit at the end. And then it's sitting there for a while and you do this on the toilet. And you can feel it flipping back and forth until it breaks off and falls in. Everyone knows that motion.

Jeez, I think there's one still. That's the moment where you know you need a bidet. Oh, I've got a bidet, mate. I've got them. Bidet, mate. Does she? They're the best. Yeah, yeah, I love them.

I love them, I love them. I bought a bloody Toto. I went fucking all for it. I live the life, man. I'm in there air drying and things. It changed me life. If they demolished my house, that was the one thing I'd keep from it. I'd go, you're not bloody taking that.

Oh, no, I'd take it out. It's coming with me wherever I'm going. It's coming with me. This was the best thing that came out of the pandemic as far as I'm concerned, the bidets, you know? Oh, yeah. How did that come out of the pandemic where people just had more time? We had a toilet paper shortage. We had a toilet paper shortage.

We had a toilet paper shortage. So people were like, what am I going to do? Just get in the shower. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're right, though. I mean, we had gotten sponsored by Tushy, so we had them. And I remember being like, oh, yeah, you don't need toilet paper. Just air dry it.

Just shake off the water. So poop as fertilizer. Why is it effective? Just quickly, just quickly. You know when you have, Doctor, you have that great big shit that goes under the S-bend, it's coming up, it's the only thing, if you were to stretch it out, it's over a foot. Do you take photos of them and send them to your friends as well?

I mean, I take photos and I keep them at least for myself. Those are like that once a year or twice a year one where you don't even think you need to wipe. Yeah, where you're like, it's come out so long. It never broke. It never broke. And it's in one piece and it's come out and it's a foot, foot and a half long.

You're like, that is, I would show that on a first date. It's like you're on the Olympics and you stuck the landing and you're just like hands up like yo do you get a lot of second dates i'm married i've had in fact i'm on i'm on date number 806 so why is it effective as fertilizer jim said a lot of good words because worms dung beetles he said the soil comes alive compost that was right yeah i mean i think he's right in a way um that ultimately if you think about what happens with our food right our food will ultimately decompose you could call it rotten meat um rotten vegetables and it turns back into

soil if you give it enough time the process of digestion in a way is acceleration of that process because what you have is inside your colon is like this massive concentration of bacteria and it's bacteria bacteria are what are responsible for any sort of rotting of our food right this is the reason why preservatives all they do is they kill bacteria so so anyway i think that the bottom line is you basically have the processing of our food right this is the reason why preservatives all they do is they kill bacteria so so anyway i think that the bottom line is you basically have the processing of the food changing it into something that actually has minerals and vitamins and fiber and other things that come from the bacteria and the bacteria themselves they make up 60 of the weight and so that's where it becomes quite healthy in terms of nurturing the soil so could i just shit in my backyard all the time and be doing a good thing

you could but you're the guy who said that it smells horrible even outside oh i'm not doing it for me i'll do it in forest backyard or something you think you're i mean are you okay with your own brand you don't have a problem look my own brand look there's blood there's this there's that there's push it up me a bloody colon back into your ass look it hasn't been it hasn't been a fruitful relationship me and my arsehole we've been at loggerheads for a whole long time but as as for do you ever see the movie kenny what was kenny now uh yeah if you if you work in toilets right you work in he works in the toilet biz yeah yeah this guy it's it's it's like a borat mockumentary thing about a guy

who sets up the portaloos at music festivals and it's an australian movie and it did very very well internally in australia uh there's a guy called shane j Shane Jacobson does it, and it's a very good movie. It's a very good movie. It is. Very funny film. If you're in the, and it's just, there's a lot of poo jokes in there, but it played so real that a lot of people thought it was a documentary, not a written script.

Like the Blair Witch. Yes. So if you check, yeah, well, yeah. So if you check out the movie the movie Kenny If you're in the If you're in the poo business Which you are It's on Amazon for free It's on Amazon for free

Oh I'm definitely checking out You know what I'm doing tonight It's on Tubi Pop some popcorn baby Oh I might fucking give You've watched Kenny right I told you No I'm going to watch it

Give Kenny a spin The tagline is He's number one With your number two He And Shane now is a judge On On Australia's Got Talent I was going now is a judge on Australia's Got Talent. I was going to be a judge on Australia's Got Talent,

and then I got bumped, and then he said on radio, welcome to show business, Jim. So I was a bit shitty with Shane for about four days, and now I'm all right because I really like Kenny. Hi, Shane. He listens? I don't know. I doubt it, but we'll get back to him.

How can you tell someone's health by looking at their poop this is what you do right how do you what do you yeah this is what you do i mean look if you were a cardiologist you would listen to a person's heart right with a stethoscope i'm a gastroenterologist so to me i look at like what does the poop look like and they have this thing it's a bristol it's a it's a it's a chart with seven pictures called the br Bristol stool chart. Jim, it's from Bristol in the UK. Yes. About 2,000 people they studied.

Well, that's where they ran the slave trade in the United Kingdom. Cool. Is that right? Yeah. Interesting fact. Also, it's where Banksy's from. So the Bristol, you can look this up there's seven pictures and the pictures help you to define how healthy your poop is and what you want the the ideal is called a bristol

four the number four is a sausage shaped stool soft but formed yeah four i'm gonna say that when i come out i just had a of Bristol 4 what's the worst one in my house I'd give you a massive high five if I get a lot sometimes I enjoy just when you do

the pebble poo when you're doing the whole lot of pebbles pebble pebble pebble I hate that I hate a pebble you ever see the one the log that looks like

it's a whole lot of pebbles combined you're like ah this is just a whole lot that one Jim you just described the pebble as a Bristol 1

this is classic constipation. The multiple golf balls combined into one hard stool, like all the pebbles combined into one, like you just said, that's a Bristol 2. Bristol 2, nice. Bristol 2. Yep. The hard stool that has cracks in it and it's just like, gosh,

like I need to drink a little more water. That's a little bit constipated. That's a Bristol 3. And then obviously 5, 6, and 7, you're moving more towards diarrhea. need to drink a little more water. That's a little bit constipated. That's a Bristol 3. And then obviously 5, 6, and 7, you're moving more towards diarrhea. And what do you call the one that has the chip and the olive in it? Do you want to see this? You look at stuff all day.

Do you want to show them? I don't know where the photo is. Jack? I still have not received this photo. You've seen it, though. Jim has a photo. There's a whole olive. No, it's a cat olive. It's not a whole olive. It no it's a cut olive it's not a whole it looks like

it came from a you know in the bar when they have them in the side like this it's like an olive you get on a pizza yeah it was like a black olive from yeah it was a black olive it was a cut olive that obviously i hadn't bitten into in any way yeah but you know what i'd swallowed it whole it must have been from nachos because it was a corn chip and No, it wasn't a corn chip. It was a French fry. It was a French fry. He's not breaking down his food. What were you eating? I had a shit that there was blood in there, whatever,

and there was a whole French fry and an onion of olive. Now, the bigger problem is, obviously, I don't chew. I eat like a duck. Yeah, you eat like a snake. You just swallow it. But it looks like it's staged, but it's a real thing. I'll try and find it. Okay, so you have the Bristol chart.

That's how you tell someone's health by looking at their poop. I mean, there's other signs and stuff too, or is that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And again, going back to this idea of fiber being good, fiber is the one thing. The chip olive is a Bristol 12. Oh, and there was blood in the toilet. But that you're saying fiber? Sorry. Yeah, yeah.

What I was going to say is, if you're on Bristol 1 or Bristol 7, increase fiber. The beautiful thing is, this is how you get back to a Bristol 4. So it kind of brings you back to the middle, which is where you want to be so fiber it helps everything and what causes diarrhea that's a hard one to answer um because typically there's some sort of root cause but like one of the major things can be if you have damage to your gut microbiome of course when your gut microbiome is in a bad place and upset that's how you ultimately get diarrhea um that could be a food intolerance okay so at one time when people get hiv that was

always the big hiv positive one of the big things have you had diarrhea that's lasted for more than like two weeks or something like that so how because that's an immune thing is how does yeah well you know back when i was in medical school we still saw people who had like a low um right so that like people had aids we used to see when i was in medical school you almost never see this anymore because the medication is so widely available that everyone is receiving good therapy but back then what it would be is that they had these actually quite rare and weird um parasites that you don't see in normal people because for the rest of us our immune system just clears it up ah that's why interesting because their immune system went down so therefore okay so forest is just he's you know

when you search for photos and i just saw him writing half olive no no no I didn't write it I found it I sent it to you and Jack just now I'm pretty sure can we pull it up somewhere I don't know if the world wants to see this come on let's do it can you text it to him I just texted it to Jack we don't want to show the cameras

probably I would upset kids I'll show it to Orlando Orlando come over here I'll show it to Orlando. Orlando, come over here. I'll just get him on camera so we can see his actual reaction. That is so rigged. Don't turn it around.

Orlando, tell us what you see. It's like a liver. A really bad liver. Don't show that. Don't show the public. They're not ready.

Is there really a french fry in there? Okay, so can we hold it up to his camera so he can see? Or then the rest of the... I don't know. I don't know. That's an Aaron question. I don't know that's an errant question can you just email it I can email it

how about you text it to the doctor I'm going to put it in the chat text it to me just text it to him it's easy alright here we go the moment of truth oh Jesus this is a guy that looks at food for a living and i don't even i don't even

drink anymore so is that a bristol one that's a bristol 50 that is that is, that's like violent. That's violent and a bit scary. Shouldn't have those things digested a bit? Like that's a proper olive, isn't it? It looks like you killed someone. There's a streak of blood going down the side. That was, that was, there was a hemorrhoid that was just dripping afterwards.

That, that, that's separate hemorrhoid that was just dripping afterwards. That's separate. That's separate to the chip. Is that a cigarette? Is that a cigarette? No, no, it's not a cigarette. They're French fries. They're French fries. Nobody's listening to this podcast, by the way.

Everyone's turned it off. That's French fries. Just know whatever you guys are imagining, it's worse. That little bit of blood at the end. It's French fries. Just know whatever you guys are imagining, it's worse. It's just worse. That little bit of blood at the end. I just have to tell the listeners that this is what I do for a living, and I'm kicking back here. You need help, Tim.

I'm in a good place right now. So you go once a day and it's normal And this is the other one? That was the other one? Look, no, that was as bad as shit as I've ever had That's not That was about a year ago Yeah, maybe a year or so It was about a year ago

Yeah, but I was already sober and everything And I just went I had something wrong with my guts I went blah And everything came out And sometimes you can explain a bit of corn But I've never seen an olive make the full journey. And then I'm like, French fries.

I don't think you chewed an olive at all. I don't think you chewed an olive. No, no, no. I didn't even take a bite into it. Who eats like that? And then the French fry. What, my body's not breaking down potato? You didn't chew the French fry either, man.

Nah, he had house food. Yeah, I just You know what it probably was? It might have been I like to have olives cut up like that on sandwiches It could have been like a fat sow sandwich Where I'm bitten in and I've just gone Like, that could have done it

There's an episode where he eats a taco in what? One second? Yeah, it was so fast I swallow it in total under six seconds or something way less like the thing is with this picture is like you can't recreate the spray effect no no no no we're spraying there isn't a special effects person in hollywood who can recreate this if you did they'd go that's a bit much it's it's it's the blood drain all right right so erin have you ever seen it uh i believe i have all right we'll just send it again just give it give erin alando just just send this to erin quickly oh you want to walk it over there yeah

just just walk it over to the glass let's go to another question you skipped one earlier how does stress affect your bowel movements? Stress. How does stress affect? That's a good question. I poop a lot before gigs. I poop a lot before gigs. I used to shit right before I performed.

I used to have a shit right before I performed. Is that a thing? Oh, it's definitely a thing. Actually, so the gut. Aaron's having a look. The gut in our brain. What do you think? One second.

One second. One second. Just, it's. I think Aaron just quit. I deleted it. I deleted it. I don't even want to look at that thing. It's too aggressive for the internet. So stress.

Sorry, you were talking about how stress can affect your bowel movements. Yeah. So the people talk about the, the gut brain connection. So this exemplifies the gut brain connection showing how our emotional state is actually very strongly tied to our intestines and the way that they work, the way that they function. Um, when I was in medical school, we had the exact same thing that Jim was was describing before he does a show which is that like literally on test days in medical school there was a line out the bathroom door because everyone had to go um some people are the opposite though there are people that i've taken care of like they get very constipated when they get stressed so it's sort of an individualized response my penis shrinks and my my test testicles duck up into my body

before I go out for a gig, right? That's why I've never, you know, I'm never going to be one of these comics who whip their cock out. You know? Me having a small cock saved me in the whole movement, right? You're here to hear, folks. It's never happened. I want to whip that thing out.

Anyway, when I'm on stage, my dick shrinks and my balls tuck up into my body because I think and I want to have a shit because I think when my body goes, we're about to have a fight. We're going into battle. We're going to protect everything. But I don't know. Maybe it's different for other things. What happens to your dick, balls, and anus when you go on stage, Forrest?

I don't. Go each detail. First of all, dick. What happens? Dick nothing. Dick nothing? Same dick? of all dick what happens dick nothing dick nothing same dick yeah yeah same dick ball same thing it's it's more my stomach like i'll get like little butterflies in there you know but not like i used to when i first started you know i start getting congested when i first started i would have to take a shit before all the time and and i would

have to drink and all such stuff and now i'm just like i just i tell myself it doesn't matter i used to i used to eat after after after the show not before now i eat before the show and not after um but no i never i never feel i never felt like i've you know i never felt like a vomity i never felt like like I was going to vomit. What about you, Orlando? No, it goes, if travel or stage, my whole system goes into lockdown until you get home. Oh, wow. Oh, everything. So Orlando says that everything in his body just shuts down.

It goes, wait until it's at home base. Yeah. Then it all falls out. Yeah, my wife doesn't like doing shits outside the home toilet. She likes a home field advantage. Here's a good question to ask right now on this subject. What happens if you hold in your poop

for too long? What's the length of time where if you haven't pooped by then you're in trouble? It can first of all be dangerous. You could potentially rupture your colon if you were to hold your poop for way too long uh but the other thing that happens though is you actually start to condition the body to not be able to poop when the normal signals are there so actually this by itself can lead to people becoming chronically constipated but is is there like if it was like

five days are you like wow i need to i mean six days is there a number what does poo there are people there's some people i've taken care of that they don't go for seven days sometimes they say two weeks um i think like the issue there is that they are quite miserable and then when they do go it's typically that they just evacuate everything and they get massive diarrhea there was there was a lady there was a lady you don't want to answer your question oh yeah okay so well i'll do this one i have a two-part question that isn't connected first question there was a there was a lady on the bachelor in paradise which is the the brother or sister program to the regular Bachelor.

It doesn't take too much. It's a bit of fun. Anyway. The trashier one. Yeah, the trashier one where they all shag each other, right? Not so much anymore because the young generation don't have sex. Anyway. True.

So there was a girl. Did you watch? There was a running season. There was a girl who didn't shit. And then she didn't shit. girl who who didn't shit and then she didn't shit and then she didn't shit and then each day she was trying to take fiber and the doctor on the tv show was like you have to have a shit or we have to surgically remove this shit you have to have a poo baby and they followed it in the end the girl had to leave the show

she got home and she did have a shit so it all you know all ended well but did you follow that and do you have to surgically remove shits or would that was that a bit of drama on the tv that's a bit of drama for tv you don't typically have to do like a roto-rooter or anything of that variety to get it out but what you would do is you would probably get an enema going and the people who have the worst constipation or the people who have pelvic floor issues they can't relax their bottom they can't open up the bottom to poop so they just basically trap everything so they take laxatives they take all these things nothing comes out and next question further point does shit taste bad and do we definitively know it

because i i assume it would taste awful but then i'm a fan of a porn genre called ass to mouth and the girls always seem to be fans you're just asking for a friend asking for a friend asking for himself yeah but it doesn't work because there's only been not many people on earth that have actually eaten it what does it taste like does anyone know i don't know i don't know. I don't know why you're asking me. You're the shit doctor. You know things.

When he's eating food. Yeah, but you must have had someone come into your office like, my husband was eating my anus and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then, you know, something happened. So you don't know because normally things that smell bad don't taste good. Yeah, I'm with him. Name me something that smells bad that tastes good Cheese or some cheese Yeah, some cheese tastes

Kimchi Oh, yeah, kimchi It's all that fermented shit Tastes good, but smells terrible Yeah, fettuccine But you guys notice It's terrible There's one thing that ties everything together

That you just mentioned Bread Cheese, kimchi, poop Bacteria It's all bacteria Boom Tortillas? Poop might taste good

You could also tie them all together. Tortillas. They're wraps. Wraps. Wraps. Yeah. A few people in Australia, I'm talking about wraps. All right.

We got a couple more questions here. A couple more questions. Tortillas really threw him for a loop. Everyone in my dad's generation raps what animals eat their own poop and then how do animals use feces to communicate zim said dogs lots of marine life elephants leave poo messages right well yeah um so eating their own poop there there's actually reasons they do this. So pigs, hedgehogs, guinea pigs, hamsters eat their own poop. The reason why is actually there are vitamins that exist in our poop that are hard for us to get access to unless we somehow come into contact with that poop because the microbes, the bacteria are producing it. Specifically, B12.

Vitamin B12 is produced by bacteria bacteria but then we poop it out and so for animals b12 by the way is this uh vitamin that we all need we suffer from neurologic consequences if we don't get it and animals need it too so this is where they this is where they can get their source they can eat their own poop so poop is brain food So if we see an animal, a dog eating some shit or a pig eating some shit, we shouldn't stop them. We shouldn't go, get out of it, bloody. What are you doing? We should go, nourish.

Nourish. Come on, Einstein. Because a lot of people swear by drinking their own piss. There's a lot of people who swear by drinking their urine. It's true. They say it's creepy if you're like, nourish. They're eating poop. Nourish.

Nourish. Get big and strong. And so they communicate with poop too, animals? Yeah, some do. Monkeys throw it at you. Poop is like a... To show anger. That means you're not welcome.

I've communicated with my shit all it needed was a lighter and a brown paper bag and a good knocking hand as you were saying after me well i mean you bring up a good point i remember when i was in high school we went to spain and the girls were flirting with some italian guys and then the wouldn't actually go out with the italian guys that night so we woke up the next morning there was a steaming dump in front of the girls hotel room wow the girls in front of their dorm rooms this is a hate crime is this italian blogs and they're good they want to go out with me put steamy pool poo. Yeah. Yeah, they retaliated hard on us. Yeah, that was a bit much. That was a bit much. Rhinoceros.

The rhinoceros will communicate. So you were talking about the elephant earlier. I think you meant the rhinoceros. The rhinoceros will communicate to other rhinoceri. Which is also the same way. So what do they do? They can make a poo smell a certain way to tell them something? Yeah, I think that they, and they mark their territory. their territory and basically like they exert their dominance by cool by dropping a log uh last

question what do you mean they desert their the rhinos come up and they just go they do that they go it's like your dad it's like your dad in that house with five five people and he just exerted his dominance and let everyone know who's the boss. Yeah, he wasn't the boss, mate. There was someone who did worse poos. My mother was an open-air farter. Like, she farted just because she lived with boys. She was just like, she never was like, like cover my, just that. And so I'm a fuck it farter as well.

I'm a fuck it farter. I just fart. But I have a fuck it farter as well. I'm a fuck it farter. I just fart. But I have a double standard. I don't like when women fart in front of me. I know this is wrong because it's a double standard. It's a double standard. But I said to my wife very early on in our relationship, maybe date three or four, I just farted in front of her,

and she just looked at me and went, are you serious? And I went, I'm going to, if you stay with me, we were already in love very quickly. I go, if you stay with me, you'll always be well fed. I'll always pay for every meal. And the tax is that I get to fart wherever I want and wherever I don't want. So now my wife even says that I fart and she goes, fart tax? She says it around the house. Fart tax? That's how she gets sushi fart tax you want some if you think if you think about it that was a smart play i think yeah the thing is

you don't want to spend like two or three girls with two or three years with her and then you fart and she goes oh no i do it early i went i went you get fed in any restaurants you want to go to i'm paying but i get to fart in front I'm paying, but I get to fart in front of you, and you're never allowed to fart in front of me. Bye. That's my double standard. But my wife does let him rip in her sleep, you know, and I find that humorous.

Those big vegan farts. It's like a cucumber slapping you across the face. Last question. What are fecal matter transplants? Jim says, you know, when you get out of a dinner party. Yeah. Tell someone you got one of these. We talked about these.

We put them in other people so people can get the micro back robes. Yeah. It's for back rubs. Yeah, no, it's actually quite interesting because when i was in medical school 20 years ago we uh heard that they were doing research into this at the university of iowa and they're like we were just like iowa those people doing this stick to corn yeah the corn husks anyway i wouldn't want an iowa shit put into me? All those fucking corn. So much butter. The thing about it is that it turned out to be something completely necessary.

So around 2010, we had an epidemic of a specific strain of a bacteria called C. diff. Oh, I had that. It was causing this. Oh, when people have this, it can, like literally, there were 35,000 people dying per year back then. Yeah, I had C. diff and a parasite at the same time. It was thrown up every day for six months. That sucked. Oh, my gosh. He wrote a children's book called C. diff run.

Anyway, the interesting thing about this bacteria is that if you give antibiotics, they often don't work. But when you give a fecal transplant, you basically are restoring a microbiome in that person. And it works almost every time. I can't remember. That's where we discovered. How do you do it?

You just shove it up there. I mean, what do you do? You'd have a tube. You put it in there. You put a funnel in. Okay. What's the real answer?

The conceptually, those are kind of on track. So there's a couple of ways. You put a funnel in. Okay, what's the real answer? Conceptually, those are kind of on track, so there's a couple ways. The turkey bites the shit out of your asshole. Okay. So you could do enema. You could drop a tube down someone's nose.

Lovely girl's name, enema, isn't it? Lovely girl name. Yes. Wait, in your nose? Lovely girl name. Yes. Anyway. Wait, in your nose? Yeah. So we call it a nasogastric tube. You put poop in your nose?

You put the tube through the nose down into the stomach. That way you don't have to put it in your mouth. And then you can basically do it that way. And then the other thing is you could do a colonoscopy. So back in 2010, I was in my fellowship. I was doing my training. And we used to actually have a blender. And people would bring in a specimen, like a relative. Just quickly, when you were doing your fellowship from proctology,

did you and your friend ever call yourselves the Fellowship of the Rings? Good joke. All right. Carry on. It's a proctology guy okay carry on there's a blender of shit no no okay uh well so anyway back then we didn't have like a source now actually there's a there's a company that basically sources poop tests it and makes sure that it's safe back then we didn't have that so what we would do is we would have them bring like a family member in and the family member would basically submit a specimen.

We would test it for like HIV and syphilis and things like this. And once it was clean, then actually we would blend it up and insert it into these syringes. And then we would do a colonoscopy and basically release it during the colonoscopy. Ah. Ah. That's pretty cool. I thought you would have just mixed it into a chocolate bar.

Like mushrooms. They have pills now. They have pills now, by the way. Yeah, that would be the best way, rather than shoving a tube down your nose, have encapsulated pills that will go into your stomach. Yeah, you got to take a bazillion of the pills to equal what you would get from a colonoscopy. But actually, there's a lot of interest and enthusiasm that maybe...

Like how heroin smugglers, like a condom filled with shit or something. Not a condom, but you could take a large-ish pill, right? It doesn't have to be a small one. I hear people swallow whole olives. Or they're a cut. And french fries. And french fries. Just put one in the shell of a french fry for me.

This is the part of our show called Dinner Party Facts. We asked our expert to give us a fact, something obscure, interesting. You already gave us one. You already told us yours. What was the good one again? What did we just say? I've already forgotten. You can say it again, Doctor.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I think the interesting thing is that people believe that your poop is just the excrement of your food. It's not true. 60%, 60%, 60%. 60% of the weight of your poop is actually your gut bacteria. Yeah. That's why when you're fasting, you still is actually your gut bacteria. Yeah. That's why when you're fasting, you still poop. There you go.

One pound. One pound. Yeah, that's a lot. Your poops are 40% less when you're fasting. Yeah. They're definitely smaller. Yeah. And there's less chips in there.

If you want to find out more, visit Zoe.com. Z-O-E dot com slash will be. And you can fill out a quiz. You can learn more about your people. I think you guys might send something or what else? You can tell me a little bit more about that or what? Yeah, so some of the research that I've been citing is with this company that I work with called Zoe. We're very popular in the UK, Jim.

About 30% of people know who we are in the UK. So it's been like the big thing. And we're also available in the US and we send the kit. And the kit has a microbiome, basically a poop test. You wear a continuous glucose monitor, which tells you what your blood sugar is 24 hours a day. And then you enter into an app what you're eating. And we can use all that information to basically piece together a personalized meal plan, a personalized diet based upon your unique biology. Wow. So if you're interested in doing that, helping your gut health and get healthier, go to zoe.com

slash will be. Thank you, Dr. Will Bulsiewicz for being here. Yeah. doing that helping your gut health and get healthier go to zoe.com slash will be uh thank you dr will bulsiewicz for being here uh yeah well doctor i i always like shooting this shit i appreciate that it was uh it was fun but I'm probably not going to sleep tonight after looking at that picture. You're welcome. I'll send you a dick pic to level it out. The shriveled up testicles.

Yeah, the shriveled up stage dick.