I Don't Know About That - Recap Episode plus Paqui One Chip Challenge

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

We didn't have a guest, but that doesn't stop us! Jack agreed to partake in the Paqui One Chip Challenge, but ended up eating TWO chips. Jim's new special "High & Dry" is now available on Netflix! Subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/IDKAT for ad free episodes, bonus episodes, and more exclusive perks! Tiers start at just $2! ADS: FREEZE PIPE: Use code IDKAT for 10% off your entire order. www.thefreezepipe.com MANSCAPED: Get 20% off + free shipping with the code [IDK] at manscaped.com. 

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Have you? I've done it. How do you use it? Good stuff. I've never used a bong before. It was the first time I did it on Easter. And that thing fucking works. Yeah.

It makes the smoky candy feel like going in. It's really good. I got really high. It was good. Jim gave me a bunch of free weed from some show they didn't want, so I used it. I'm an edibles guy. Shop freezable pipes, bubblers, bongs, and more at thefreezepipe.com.

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Can you guess what's about to happen? Kelly's gone home to shit herself. At least I think that's what she is. She said women's problems, and I assume that's what they do. Hi, everyone. The podcast, we're a bit bare-boned at the moment because Kelly's gone out sick. Also, our guest has cancelled on us.

Literally a couple of hours ago, they cancelled. Yeah, we could have cancelled the podcast, but no, we want to perform for the people plus we're about to go to Europe well you're you're literally

flying back from Iceland right now right I'll be back baby in Iceland alright today so we've got a show figured out for you

see when when you gotta mother is the invention of necessity right that's what happened right mother yeah yeah a rolling stone is worth two in the bush yeah so so what's going to happen here is uh we're going to do the normal intro and then forrest has got a segment planned out for the

actual quiz thing where he's going to quiz me on alternative episodes yeah it'll be like when you watch an episode of friends and they're all sitting around the living room and they go, hey, remember that time that we were at the bank? And they're like, yeah, I do remember. The clip show. I wanted to do a clip show for Legit, but it was going to be all the jokes and segments that I'd written that couldn't get into episodes. Oh, that's good.

And so we were never going to reference it. We were just going to go, that's just like the time Billy went, you know, to the zoo, right? And then we'd just film a section of us in the zoo, and we'd put it on, and then it would be good because people would watch it going, oh, I haven't seen that episode. And then go back and re-watch. That's an original thought.

I will say this. So what we're going to do is, I don't have a ton of it because this is literally the last couple of hours I've been trying to throw something together, but I picked out some questions to ask you what the answer is, and then you tell me what the answer is. Now, to be fair, when I look back at all of our docs, I chose the ones that were our experts actually put the answers in,

which is about 10% of the time. Most of the time they just answer. They don't have to, to make it easier, because I couldn't listen to all the podcasts. Then I also went and got asked questions, and I'm going to ask you what was your answer and it was incorrect always incorrect yeah funny um but i will tell you this i was going back through uh the we've done at this point now i think this will be our 140 almost our 150th episode

all right and there's a lot of topics i'm like we did that I can't even remember that we did what was one that I don't remember us doing it was like the circus I don't even remember doing the circus we did the circus? I hope you have some circus questions were we pro the circus or against it?

my wife would hate the circus it was about the history of the circus I remember you making a point about it being like what you thought about. Oh, no, we talked about, I mentioned just every answer was Barnum. Yeah. Yeah. We did one on,

what was another one that I was looking for? All right, we'll do this when we get. Terrorism. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, Kurt Braddock, he came out to a show. Yeah. Anyways, it's kind of fun.

So yeah. All right, so quick plug. I'm back. I've got North American tours, oh, Kurt Braddock, he came out to a show. Yeah. Anyways, it's kind of fun. So, yeah. Go ahead. All right. So, quick plug. I'm back. I've got North American tours, Canada, America. Go on to jimjeffries.com. I'm probably coming to a city near you unless it's Albuquerque, which I still haven't been to and I've never been to Memphis.

Not coming there. Yeah. Not coming to any of these cities. I want to visit Graceland, but it turns out there isn't a theater or a room the right size and it feels like I've been told that the people of Memphis don't want to see me. Okay. Nashville's good enough. Yeah, I'll take a hint.

I'm going to be with Jim on a lot of those gigs. And on my website, all my gigs are there. The ones I'm doing with Jim, but also the ones I'm doing by myself. I'm going to be in Montreal, Philadelphia. I'm going to be in San Diego. I'm going to be in Miami, going back to Miami and doing gigs. In Key West, even, doing gigs. We're in Key West.

Key West comedy. Okay. My son used to call it Your Emmy. Because his mom always referred to it. We're going to Your Emmy again. That's awesome. And there's some other. Oh, Las Vegas.

I'll be at the Comedy Cellar again sometime later in the year. But go to 4shaw.net and please come out to a show. Right. We have something very exciting. Because I knew that we were going to do this I'll be at the Comedy Cellar again sometime later in the year, but go to 4shaw.net and please come out to a show. Right. But we have something very exciting because I knew that we were going to do this for the Patreon, right? Yeah. But what happened was, so last night my son was just like this, have you seen the one

chip challenge? Now it's been going on allegedly since 2022 because the chip we have is from 2022. So it's fresh. I don't think it's stale and this is going to be a problem. And then I was like, oh, we'll do it. And then, no, I didn't even say we'll do it. Jack was like, I'll do it. No prompting.

I would have offered him money. He blew his load too quickly. Right? So what happened was, and then I go, and then my wife said, oh, you can only get them off Amazon. And then my son popped up. No, there's a shop in the Sherman Oaks Mall. I know where they are. Right? i went let's go within a minute jack and my son were in a car driving off to the mall i had a bit of peace to

myself i watched a bit of the uh boston bomber documentary you know which i normally i'm normally watching kid shows so i was happy with that it is funny that he knew where it was like i i did not suspect this chip was coming back we went to the store and it wasn't in the normal spot and we're like, maybe they have it locked up in the back and they did. It was in a glass case in the back. What kind of store is it? It's like some funky store that just has a bunch of random stuff in the mall. I don't even know what the name of it is.

It's just like, it'll have like spicy ramen and like weird anime shirts. Like it's all over the place. Oh, I know that shop. Yeah. Hank takes me that one a lot. I don't know what this store is full of shit yeah full of weird shit anyway so uh we have this uh i don't know if we need to uh do a big intro for it but so i'll ship like a coffin first of all i will open it up it's in a coffin case yeah so we'll do it like this i think it's something like they just put a

shit ton of spice on one chip hence the title i've seen some videos of this okay I think it's something like they just put a shit ton of spice on one chip. Hence the title. I've seen some videos of this. Okay. You can't break it. Now, let me read some things about the chip first. I'm wearing gloves because I see people get rashes on the internet from the spice. Rules. Rules for the chip challenge.

Okay. Eat the entire chip. Can do. Good rule. Prove it. Show us your tongue. That's how I am with girls and cum. Prove it. Oh, my God. Prove it. That's your tongue. That's how I am with girls and cum. Prove it.

Oh, my God. Prove it. I swallowed that. Prove it. Why are you mumbling? Why are you going up to the bathroom? Also a challenge. Wait as long as possible before drinking or eating anything.

Okay. I do that daily. I'm going to go the whole podcast. Post your reaction on social media with hashtag the one chip challenge and mention the chip company. Okay. Paki? Now, here we go.

You were saying they make real chips? Yeah, yeah. They make some hot. I don't want to say this one because it sounds like a slur in Britain. How would you pronounce that? The name of the chip you mean? Yeah. Pakui?

Okay, that's better than what I was going to say. But I don't know. I might have just said what he's referring to. Yeah, it's all right. It's all right. Paqui. We'll go with Paqui. That's how you pronounce it.

It gives you a voucher. Now, this is a $20 chip just for the chip. But how long can you last before you short circuit eating or drinking? One minute? Powerless. You're a nobody. You're nothing. You're nothing.

I've got my stopwatch here, so I'll set it. Okay. It says Paqui. Paqui. Paqui. It's an Aztec word that means to be happy. Paqui. you're nothing I've got my stopwatch here so I'll set it okay it says Paki Paki Paki is an Aztec word that means to be happy Paki not after this one

Paki Paki it's the manufacturer it's like the food that's the sticks with the chocolate on it Paki yeah

10 minutes powerful 30 minutes supercharged one hour invincible so we'll do it now because I think it would be funnier to do the podcast with Jack Troye now we do have the possibility of Nolan from Modern Family, friend of the show.

He might be coming in. He was going to do it with Jack. But then we said, well, it's funnier if we get two people. Now, we've got to get you at a good angle. Oh, no, you're at a good angle. Should we swap seats? No, I think this is good. I think it's good.

Okay. You ready? Yeah. Let's open this is good. I think it's good. Okay. You ready? Yeah. Let's open this puppy up. Don't get any dust on us. Yeah, yeah. People have been burning their hands from dust getting on it, getting rashes and stuff.

Oh, they're already broke. All right. That's it? Yeah, that's fine. That's all right. You can put it all in. What to expect. Did you read this?

Oh, that smells horrible. Did you read what to expect? Give me a smell. Oh, that hurt me nose. tongue takeover number one shock the senses two surge of tears if i just smell it it burnt my tongue smelling it jolt to the gut i can smell it from here i think yeah that's terrible i'm gonna die it smells like something artificial. You've got to do the whole one. Voltage overload. Jack, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

Remember Mean Mike? We mentioned him. Face the Reaper. Me and Mike would have done a packet of these. He would have eaten them. All right, here we go. Ready? Okay, ready?

Go. Get it all in there. He's definitely eating it. We can hear it. Tastes terrible. You've got to finish the whole thing. Is it fresh? No.

No. It's not crispy? It sounds crispy. It tastes like shit. No, but it. I can hear it. It tastes terrible. You've got to finish the whole thing. Is it fresh? No. No. It's not crispy? It sounds crispy. It tastes like shit. No, but it's not stale. No, it's all right. That's the important thing. That's the corner it's falling in.

Just get it all in there, Jack. Is it spicy yet? There's dust. You've got to eat the dust. Is it spicy yet at all? Uh-huh. Oh, I didn't start the stopwatch. There go wait what is the stopwatch for because i gotta time him see how long he does all right um this is to get your tongue oh oh it's gross it's blue yeah why is it blue okay

is that to prove that he ate it yeah that's yeah he's eating it everyone that's hot you know what maybe it's going to get worse in a second yeah i've had so much worse i think it's going to creep up on you you've had so much worse yeah when i did the hot ones thing right did you do the hot you were on the hot with nolan and sean wait you were on they just do it for fun in their house oh you buy the hot sauce by the hot sauce you buy so you do the hot ones? You were on the hot ones? With Nolan and Sean. Wait, you were on it? They just do it for fun in their house. Oh, you buy the hot sauces? They buy the hot sauces. So you bought the ones that are really? The thing that I can't do is look at your teeth and lips.

Everything's blue. Well, don't do that. Okay. You want this box? You want to throw it away in the air? You're sweating a little. Yeah, it's hot. You don't look good.

I feel like a winner. You sound like you have a retainer in. Yeah, because it's hot. Maybe it's a good time for me to read an ad. Yeah, it's hot. You don't look good. I feel like a winner. You sound like you have a retainer in. Yeah, because it's hot. Maybe it's a good time for me to raise an ad. Yeah. Okay. Ooh, you know who our sponsor is today? Yeah, I do.

Yeah? What is it, Forrest? You haven't had hotter than that. I think it's the freeze pipe. You're sweating. Yeah. Where is the fucking ad? Kelly said it's freeze pipe.

Same copy. Yeah, freeze pipe same same copy yeah yeah I'll find it we pull back the curtain wait there's yeah Jim doesn't memorize these for everybody that thought he did who yeah okay who what's who are who what it is but I've never heard you say that that's that's how Al Pacino acts thanks a a bit of chili. This kid, all your souls are corrupted. Yeah, he said it would get worse. It's gotten worse, hasn't it?

It's gotten worse. You've got a glisten to you. You're going to be famous now, Jack. Give a shout out to the doohickeys. We're hot. We're hot music. Are you making this up? No, it sucks.

He's real. I made him eat groceries. I feel it in my ears. Okay. That's headphones. You're hearing voices in your head. Face the reaper. Here's a freeze pipe.

Are you hallucinating slightly? Are you guys here? Yeah. Yeah, don't be silly now, Jack. I'm sorry. God forbid I be funny. Take this seriously. Take this seriously. Do you want to know what you're up to? seriously it makes them sassy that's for sure yeah yeah right yeah I'll

be fine three to two three man how many what is he allowed to do all the Pepto no I do I'm not gonna do anything okay fine it's for an hour ah blue gross all right ads good all right so we can keep tracking with the rest do you reckon you how many did we buy how many chips did we buy four reckon you could do two yeah all right get another one out wait you're gonna do another one yeah he's done what about a bitch yeah yeah what is he a bitch what what does it make you sound like you're joe biden now Have you seen Joe Biden? He's just in Ireland for like ever. He's been there for like 10 days.

He's in Ireland? Yeah, he's just going to pubs and shit. I'm the president. You sound like Joe Biden. You're doing a bad Joe Biden impression. Hey, man. Hey, Brick. Yeah, hey, folks.

Yeah, enough of this malarkey. Eat this chip here. Oh, God. You keep the chips in another room? Seven minutes. Yeah, yeah. I'm just going to go and get another one. Yeah, yeah.

Go and get another one. Go and get another one. That's fine. Do you want to eat another chip? What am I, a bitch? Yeah. That could go either way. Like, you could be a bitch for agreeing to do another chip.

Yeah, yeah. Now, this one I reckon is a one-mouthed jack. What do you mean? Well, the last one. Okay. Try to unpe peel that you might have better dexterity than me so the last one he took a couple of mouthfuls like a bitch just one yeah yeah in there 25 calories jack you better watch it but your your uh your what is it the

system that digests the food gastrointestinal no no there's fiber oh yeah it's good stuff oh yeah no it's good he's not gonna have problem shitting there's another chip there's a 20 chip i have a modem here should i be taking that no that's a modem though you don't want to be clogged up you want to get rid of it i have to go to a concert tonight what do you want is a laxative you want a laxative john john may I've never met John Mayer, but I know enough people who know John Mayer. He probably could have sorted out some tickets for you. Oh, man. Come on. I'm getting an extra glove. I ditched the other one.

Yeah, but you only need one glove. No, I would wait for the other glove. Oh, wait. I don't want to touch my eye. You touch that, and then you touch. Then you won't even be able to see John Mayer. How's your hair under your hat? I'm still able to hear him. Oh, no. You're not sweating too bad. I'm not sweating at all.

But you've got a lovely glisten to you. Yeah. Hey, folks. Hey, folks. What up, my bitch? Hey. Hey, I've eaten some chips here. Wow.

You're really hot. Well, that's really great, these chips. What a great marketing play by these guys. We're going to charge $20 for one chip, and you advertise for us. Yeah, yeah. And you advertise for us yeah yeah and you're miserable yeah yeah and we put a warning on so if you die whoopsie yeah yeah there's all sorts of paperwork in here i'm sure it's like i was supposed to sign something i remember when i went skydiving this one broke again they were like uh showing us a video of

like a funny video of people like getting injured or whatever you're supposed to sign all this paperwork and then uh i started reading it like i was gonna go through it like a lawyer or something i was like you either want to skydive or not so you've had worse have you jack yeah all right go for it i would say the the bomb hot sauce on the hot ones is true hell there's a mess yeah but this we're about to see less talky talky more more eedy eedy. Yeah, yeah, get in there. Hey, don't quote your own self. Yeah. It's making my stomach upset. Just watch me.

I know, the smell is really bad. Just, no, just your face, not the chip. Oh, thank you, Forrest. Yeah. Yeah, you know, there's a little sass here. A little pushback. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's good. This is gonna get you girls. Will you eat one of those bits of dust? No. No, not after I've watched this no i have we i have to get on the plane twice in the next two days i'm i don't want to be in that little bad it's hard enough to shit when i'm normal and women already like us yeah exactly girls right yeah girls love that yeah you put it on uh. Oh, good news, guys. Bumble.

I applied to Raya five years ago, and they finally got admitted. You're in Raya? Yeah. You're two inkies, baby. Wait, did you have to recommend them, Jim? I don't know. I got a pass five years ago. Turned out it was just a submitting thing.

Oh, it was like, hey, when they pre-approve you for credit, and then you call up, you're like, nah, sorry. I didn't know it was filling out, so I said I'm an assistant. That did not clear me. No, no, a member of the Doohickeys will get you through. I've said I'm a musician on there. So did you make your profile? Yeah.

Well, you got a new profile pitching out. Stick out your tongue. Make sure you ain't it. Oh, gross. It's gross. It tastes bad. The second one tastes bad. I don't feel the heat as much on the second one.

This is the main reason I won't let you suck my dick today. I wouldn't go down on any women. I know that wasn't on the cards this afternoon, but... Casual Friday. No, I'm going with a girl who just wants to be friends tonight, so that'll be fine. Oh, okay. A girl that wants to be friends concert.

They're the best. Is she paying for one of the tickets she will yeah yeah okay we'll see in more ways than one get back to us in that one okay yeah you might like i've done those things where it goes like hey i think we're better off just friends we did and i'm like all right you want to go to a concert then you meet like a girl you actually like at the concert and you're like oh no with this thing yeah yeah and when your body is a wonderland comes on yeah and then you should just sit there in the corner and rub your crotch and stare at her keep eye contact stick your tongue out your body is. Oh, God. Yeah. There you go. Not too bad. No, it's not so bad.

I was hoping for more pain. Me too. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I'm breathing. I'll tell you what. Hey, folks.

Enough of this malarkey. Come on. We got to get together as a country. What's his name? Don't worry. Kyle Dunning. Come on, folks. Come on, man.

Come on. Magnolias. What is his name? McDraniums. All right. You want to folks. Come on, man. Come on. Magnolias. What is it? McDraniums. All right. You want to answer some questions? Hit them. Hit them.

Okay. Hold on. I'm going to have a quick... Move the camera to the other one. All right. All right. Look at this handsome guy. If you were just to see

and not know what this podcast is, you'd think that was the new Rush Limbaugh or something. You'd be like, another thing I'm going to tell you what's wrong with the government. I'm fine with that. I'll take over for Rush.

You know, look, a couple years ago I would have said no, but I'll go right wing for some money. Ah. Yeah. Whatever wing you want me on. Yeah, yeah. Give me the wings.

Give me the wings. Did you do that, Jack? Oh, yeah. Give it a wings. Give it a wings. Did you do that, Jack? Oh, good. Did you take over for Rush Limbaugh? He can make like 20 million. Oh, yeah, 20 million. Yeah. Why not?

All right, yeah. Chips are working. Let's change the whole direction of the show. Yeah, yeah. Let's see if we can. Welcome to Build the Wall. Yeah. Let me tell you something

Bud Light wait didn't I think like Trump Jr. said to drink Bud Light now this is a couple weeks ago now

oh wow it's good for the economy the people at Miller are rubbing their hands together when they run his cause was founded by a guy called Adolf

they must be happy Miller Light I don't know who they run by, but yeah. Okay, Pabst Blue Ribbon. Old school. You don't even drink, though. Yeah, but I drink their high Celsius. Oh, the weed stuff.

That was smarter than to get in that early. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's also the fact they call them high Celsius. Yeah. So Pabst Blue Ribbon, high Celsius. You would never call an alcoholic beer. Drunk vodka. Yeah, yeah. That's true, yeah. Wasted whiskey. high celsius yeah so perhaps we have high celsius you would never call an alcoholic but drunk vodka yeah yeah that's true yeah wasted whiskey yeah yeah but what is it with the uh

num no i was thinking of a coke one post nasal drip yeah yeah but like like on the high ones they never go drink responsibly they're like we know you you're not responsible you're high yeah it's like how much should I take? Up to you. Much as you can take. Can you drive? I don't know if there's a law. All right.

So you made the segment. Do you remember? Oh, you want to name the segment? Do you remember? Do you remember? Okay. We don't have a ton of these but uh

Salem Witch Trials do you remember we did uh do you remember we did uh I remember we had like a woman who was like

a Boston type lady or was that an episode of The Bachelor that I watched what there was an episode of The Bachelor where they went to Salem

and there was like a woman who was like I'm a witch and she was like really Boston-y that might be what it is I'm a wicked good witch for Salem Witch Tri trials there was a professor named jason coy not a different person yeah so it wasn't a woman all right um what here's the question i want to ask

you that from the salem witch trials episode uh and by the way go back and listen to all these episodes that was a great episode what is a witch cake do Do you remember this? I remember the mentioning of it. Yeah. I remember I didn't get it right. I would say it, red velvet probably. No, it was something that was made to deter witches.

Yeah, getting closer. Yeah, to deter witches or to put out in front of your house so there's like witches couldn't come in or something. Do you remember what a witch cake is? Yeah. Yeah, what is it? Wasn't it the thing that people were... Look at his nose.

Look at the drop in his nose. His nose is growing. Wasn't it like a slave convinced someone to eat something with pee on it or something? Yeah, it was pretty close. It was a piss cake. Tituba was... Tituba.

Tituba. Yeah, thank you. I didn't even say it wrong. You're welcome. Tituba. Look at his malleable young brain remembering things. Yeah, it's coming back. My whole face is tingling. Tichuba

was an enslaved woman from Barbados. She worked for this family, the Parrises. Their last name was P-A-R-R-I-S. And Betty Parris was thought to have been bewitched. Tichuba also was the first to be accused. She was a shit kite. Close. She was the first to be accused. And then they asked cake. Yeah, close. She was the first to be accused.

And then they asked her for help, like, hey, you know about witchcraft. What do we do here? And they said, you've got to make a witch cake. You take oats and the urine of someone that's been bewitched. So she made a cake of oats and the urine of this one, Betty Paris, who they accused of being a witch. Or Elizabeth Montgomery would also work. Yeah. And then you feed it to a dog.

You take the witch cake of someone's then you feed it to a dog. You take the witch cake of someone's urine and feed it to a dog and then the dog will help you break the hex or point out who the witch is. Right. Thanks, Doc. Sensible.

Very sensible. Thank you. I don't see anything wrong with that at all. So that's a witch cake. I don't... Yeah, I was trying to remember what the dinner party facts are.

What are your top dinner party facts? We had one recently. Frankenstein was one of my favorite ones. What's your favorite one? That one was right up there. Do you remember it? Yeah, yeah.

Frankenstein and Dracula were invented on the same day on the same property with Lord Byron. Yeah, yeah. They're having a party. Yeah, having a party. It was because Lord Byron

was giving everyone syphilis. Yeah. That's where Frankenstein... You got it. I liked Wayne Fetterman's. What was that one? That was your favorite one? You don't remember Wayne Fetterman's?

It was a stand-up comedy? Yeah, what was the fact there? He said there were, I think, 12 million slaves were taken out of Africa. That's right. That's right. We asked you for a fun fact on the subject, and he just gave one that he thought was good about slavery. Yeah.

To be fair, though, when we do these pre-interviews, Kelly and I, we just usually say, hey, and then there's the dinner party fact that's so obscure. And we were just kind of at that point just running through it, and I guess we didn't specify the topic. So now I'm very distinct since that moment. Anytime we do a pre-interview, hey, we need something on this subject. On this subject, give us something obscure.

I think also you can do a dinner party fact on the subject or slavery. Give them the option. Give them the option. So, you know, because then we might learn some other fun facts. That's true. Yeah, it was 12 million slaves were taken out of Africa

and only like 100,000 or 300,000 made it to the United States. And we're like, and he's like, I don't know what to do with that information. Yeah, yeah was 12 million slaves were taken out of Africa and only like 100,000 or 300,000 made it to the United States. And we're like, and he's like, I don't know what to do with that information. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, how does this relate to stand-up comedy? And he's like, do you want to edit that out? More of them went to other countries or they didn't make the boat ride?

I don't know. I don't know. He didn't know. Yeah, he didn't know. Yeah, because we've had other people that didn't give it to, like, I think for autism, we had the documentarian from love on the spectrum and the doctor from the last season on the spectrum and the documentarian gave us a he

his dinner party fact i remember was the emu and the kangaroo yeah they can't go backwards and his again was another one where we we hadn't specified now we've we've rectified that problem but that one wasn't as jarring since he was Australian. We're like, all right, sure. I'll give you an autism dinner party fact. They're not all great at counting. Yeah, I don't think that was the dinner. That's a fun dinner party.

I didn't know that. That's a stereotype that's really weighed down that community. Yeah, okay. Everyone's throwing toothpicks in front of them on the floor. Just throwing them? Yeah, yeah them yeah how many you see what's the point of doing that yeah i would do the thing where it like if you have i was autistic every time someone pulled out a deck of cards it goes 52 you didn't count for the jokers yeah you know the thing where there's jelly beans inside of a jar and you gotta guess how many are there that person would excel

have you ever tried to do I always do like the I count one column that way and then I times it and then I times it that way I would count the surface the top and then try and see

how many layers did you ever guess it no never come close I've only probably done that once I've done it plenty of times where are you seeing these contests when you were a kid in school that was often a contest

you win all the jelly beans and stuff when I was a kid yeah or at a workplace or something like that yeah I've jelly bean counted in my day I've done Skittles I've done other different things Smarties and you won? no I've never gotten it right

how's your mouth my face is tingling No. I see 10. There were 10,000. I've never gotten it right. How's your mouth? My face is tingling. Yeah, you're sweating. Yeah. You're sweating, but you did it good. I feel better. And your upper lip goes like this now.

You look weird. Yeah. I mean, I feel weird. I'm going to say Jack, ready? That's pretty good. I just need to have my mouth open because it just let the air out. Next question. We did an episode on Coca-Cola. Do you remember that? Oh, that was a good one. That was a good. I just need to have my mouth open because it just let the air out. Next question. We did an episode on Coca-Cola. Do you remember that?

Oh, that was a good one. That was a good one. That was in your dining room. One of our many locations that we've done this podcast. I love the Coca-Cola episode. I remember all that stuff. We did about three episodes in your dining room. Yeah, yeah.

This is occasionally. Your wife, you'd hear her wife. Some people miss my living room. Yeah, we were in Jackson for a long time. I used to have to sit there, lay'd hear her wife. Some people miss my living room. Yeah, we were in Jacksonville for a long time. I used to have to sit there, lay down for the podcast. Fantastic. Yeah, yeah. Our guest was Mike Dillon.

Yeah. He was a former executive at Coca-Cola. Very nice man. Who invented Coca-Cola and why? It was like a pharmacy elixir type of thing. It was meant to rejuvenate and all that type of stuff. I can't remember the name of the guy. He was out of Atlanta.

Yeah. John Pemberton. No, Jack. No, I should have given Jack this opportunity. Yeah, John Pemberton, correct. Is this even a middle initial? John S. John S. Pemberton.

Oh, John S. Pemberton. Was this whipped into you when you were a kid? Yeah, I think so. John Pemberton. Yes. I still remember that it cleans your palate after each mouthful. Yeah, I love that. John S. Pemberton was this whipped into you when you were a kid yeah I think so John Pemberton yes I still remember that it cleans your palate after each mouthful

and it sets it so I always have a Coca-Cola now with a fancy meal John S. Pemberton was the inventor it does though it does

you have it and then if you have Fanta if you're eating a Philly cheesesteak you have Fanta and then your mouth is all orange

and the food's all orange Coca-Cola comes in delights and relieves I like Coca-Cola with spicy food because to me it helps coat the spice. I was going to bring some today, but I figured I'm not going to use any of it. It always leaves you wanting more Coca-Cola.

It's true. It's the, what's his name? The artist said it was the great equalizer. The guy. Artist? The guy who does all the bloody Campbell's. Talking about, what's his name from the- Andy Warhol.

Andy Warhol said that Coca-Cola was the great Campbells. Talking about, what's his name from the... Andy Warhol. Andy Warhol. Coca-Cola was the great equaliser. Kings and peasants all have the same can of Coke. Summer's coming. Are you ready to unveil your beach-fired manscape? It's here to ensure that you're ready for the wild with their game-changing, full-body grooming and hygiene products.

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then you oh it's the 2.0 i haven't even used the 1.0 we're off to the 2.0 you also get two free gifts the shed travel bag 39 value and the patent high high performance chafed resisting manscape boxes if you're wearing sandals you need to get the manscaped shears 2.1 nail kit they're doing nails now is there anything they can't do having the right tool for grooming is essential do yourself a favor and always get the right tools for the job I love mans Manscaped and so I keep it all downstairs. And as I said, after I'm done, I trim my beard. I take the blade off and I go, it's the best glue. I've tried all the other brands for the face. No good. Manscaped,

face and balls. And I haven't nicked me balls once. It used to be a bloody mess down there. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code IDK at manscaped.com. That's 20% off and free shipping with the code IDK at manscaped.com. Trim your chesticles with the besticles. Oh, you could say testicles will work as well. Who's our sponsor today, Jake? Freeze pipe. Freeze pipe smoking cannabis doesn't need to hurt. say testicles will work as well. Who's our sponsor today, Jake? Freeze Pipe. Freeze Pipe.

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you got for me do you use the freeze pipe i have it you gave me the big bong one yeah i did i did that works great i've never used a bong before it was a wonderful first experience you seem fine now yeah you seem good now yeah i feel good the only problem is I burned myself with the lighter, so I have to use a stick lighter. No, we're talking about the chip. The chip. Oh. Yeah.

Chip's good, too. So that's one of the things that Jack would say to you. Use a stick lighter because he burns himself with a lighter. Yeah, but that's just Jack. Start smoking like royalty without paying a king's ransom. Shop pipes, bubblers, bongs, and more at thefreezepipe.com. Use the code IDAKAT, I-D-K-A-T, for 10% off your entire order. That's thefreezepipe.com.

Use the code IDAKAT for 10% off order today and say goodbye to harsh smoke forever. My face is tingly. All right. That's good, man. John S. Pemberton was the inventor of Coca-Cola. He was a pharmacist and a colonel in the Confederate Army during the Civil War. And after sustaining a war injury, he became addicted to morphine and believed his taunt at Coca-Cola would combat his addiction.

But then they had Coke to it originally. Yeah, they had cocaine. He's like, I've got to get off this morphine. Give me some Coke. Coke water. Do you reckon a lot of cocaine would help you out now, Jack? Or make it worse? I reckon it would numb and I reckon it would help.

Oh, I thought you meant just in life. Yeah. No, no. Socially, it might help me out'll make it worse. I reckon it would numb and I reckon it would help. Oh, I thought you meant just in life. Yeah. No, no. Socially, it might help me out. With the spice, I reckon it'd be all right. I reckon that would help him. I don't think it would magnify it. I don't.

I think it would numb. I mean, it would numb the back of my throat, I guess. I just want to, I'm imagining. So I'm setting up the one chip Coke challenge. I'm imagining Jack and Coke. You've got to snort cocaine off one of those chips. Let's do more chips. What was that? Oh, you were doing I'm imagining Jack and Coke. You gotta snort cocaine off one of those chips. Let's do more chips.

What was that? Oh, you were doing an impression of me doing coke. I thought you were having a seizure. You wanna have another chip? No. He's done.

Alright. I mean, I could, but I wanna live. All the pain's over now. Did the second one hurt as much as the first one? No, but I feel it

in my stomach now. I believe that for some reason this is probably banned in other countries. This feels definitely like an American fucking Wild West thing. I mean, it has a warning on the back. We didn't read the warning. Throughout the day, you should take videos of like, hey, guys, my stomach's really messed up. Maybe from the toilet, take a video.

Then we can patch these in. My whole body is starting to tremble. Do not eat if you are sensitive to spicy foods. Not this guy. Allergic to peppers, nightshades, or capsicum. How do you say it? Capsicum. Capsicum. Don't you say it something different? No, I'm saying they should say it different.

In Australia, they shorten everything and put it in here and now it should be capsicum. You think Australians would be like, you want a little capsicum? How do I want your bigotry? Wash your hands with soap. That's just a good rule in life. How did your lips soar? They're okay.

No, again, the Da Bomb is one of the worst things I've ever had. The Da Bomb ruined my life. Hank goes, this is a 2022 chip. They're not as spicy. They've upped the spice in the last two chips. He said 2022 is the most recent. Oh, really? Yeah.

He said this is the spiciest it comes. Up your game, Pocky. We did an episode on- Wow, that sounds like a fucking racist in Britain yelling- Pocky. Pocky. Yelling at someone across the street. Up your game.

We did an episode on ancient Egypt. Do you remember that? No. Yes. Jen Thum. Thum, I think at thom maybe th yeah i have no recollection um ancient egyptians are sometimes shown with beards straight beards and curved beards mean two different things what does a straight beard and a curved beard mean straight beard means you don't have the anal curly beard means you do it's very similar to the answer you gave i saw the answer you went you go if you have a curve it means kelly had typed it in i didn't even include that as yours but yeah i don't want to go that far it's filled with curly beads yeah probably said that afterwards um

uh curl i don't mind the curly beards. They're mostly hardworking and they don't have kids, so they're not ruining the population or anything like that. Curved beard. Curved. Curved beard. Oh, no, they got a lot of money in those relationships. Two curly beards together.

Curved. Dual income. No kids. Curved. Curved means that they're dead. So if they're portraying with a curved head. Well, to some of their parents, but I still accept them. Yeah.

Straight beards. I mean, you're being shown when you're alive. So that's a depiction of them when they're alive. Well, I still remember they buried pharaohs with beer and bread because they thought it would raise the dead. This is like people come up and they meet you and they're just like, hey, I met you at blah, blah, blah. I can't remember podcasts I did.

How would I remember a meeting event? It takes a lot. To get in my brain, you've got to name me for like a year. I don't think you logged me in your phone for like two years. I think I was always just my number. He asked me what your name was the other day. I don't want to commit too hard and have you as an actual number. My dad is still in my phone as mum.

My mum's been dead for three years. But because my dad inherited my mother's phone, it's still mum in the phone. So when I'm in my car, I have to go, call mum. That's nice. It keeps her alive in some way in our hearts and minds uh we did an episode on animation yeah i remember that there's a guy with a train you had the train andrew chesworth yeah he was a nice fella it works for disney what does the word animation mean

uh-oh moving moving drawings i like that uh animation is literally translated from french as soul like in your body. So the process of animation is actually the ensoulment of characters. Feels like a long word. That doesn't feel like soul. So if you're in France and someone breaks up to you, you go, oh, you really hurt my animation. Le j'ai bouche, j'ai barbeille.

Elle est méchante. Elle est méchante. animation well the french word for soul is ame no i'm in uh we're not going to france in this tour no they don't like comedy yeah i don't like them they're like mimes no i don't mind the french yeah i've met some nice french people um that why but you've never gigged there? I never gigged there. I lived in Britain. And every time I go, am I doing France? And they're like, nah.

Yeah, it's weird. It's alright. I can be in the screen a little bit. You're the star, Jack. His glasses are scrolling, but I'll keep going. These are not my good ones. They're not your good ones? You've gone green on the new ones. I thought, you know, mix it up. What makes them not good? Well, I

can see here good, but if I look at you guys, it's like oh, but the other ones I can see here and there good. Aaron, how long is Jack into this? We are at 28 minutes. 28 minutes? I mean, I'm fine now. I don't need anything. Your stomach's bad? It's fine. It'll be fine.

Well, that's not your asshole. What are you planning to eat afterwards? Oh, you've had the Pepto-Bismol. I might drink some afterwards. Oh, you've already had some? I did it before. Right. Preemptive.

What are you going to eat afterwards? I don't know. What do you want to get? I'm not getting anything. I'm trying to trim down. I'm all too fat at the moment. Salad? I'm going to go around Europe.

I'm going to be big as a house when I get back. A lot of... Then I'm trying to trim down. I'm all too fat at the moment. Salad? I'm going to go around Europe. I'm going to be big as a house when I get back. A lot of... Then I'm going to crash diet. A lot of people said this was their favorite episode. Well, Kelly did cheese way back when we did cheese. Yeah, cheese was good. I remember everything about cheese. We had Liz Thorpe on.

What country's top five eat the most cheese? Number one is Denmark. Yeah. Nice. There you go. It's number one. I got that right the first cheese. Number one is Denmark. Yeah. Nice. There you go. It's number one. I got that right the first time as well. Top consumer.

Because I've just been to Denmark, and we're coming again, and I went to a Michelin star restaurant, and like eight of the 12 courses were cheese, man. Yeah. They are the top country. They consume 28.1 kilograms of cheese per capita. And we will be visiting two of the other countries in the top five. The second highest one. Le Ferenc. No, we'll be visiting two of the other countries in the top five. The second highest one.

Le France. No, we'll be visiting. No, but I'm saying the second highest one. No, France is in there, but they're not second. Ah, it'll be. France is fourth. Germany. Nope, Iceland.

Iceland. Second highest consumer is Iceland, followed by this country, you'll be doing two shows. Wonderful, wonderful wonderful Copenhagen. I'm also doing two shows in Warsaw, Poland. No. What's the other one I'm doing, too? Helsinki.

Helsinki. Helsinki eats a lot of cheese. Finland. Finland is, yeah. The Finns. But they're also Scandinavians, so the Scandinavians like the cheese because Iceland is almost Scandinavian. And they're the hottest people on earth.

I'm sorry. Look, I like a South American girl or anything but women that look like me. I enjoy. No, I like white women, just women who look like me. Yeah. Do you think America's not on the list because we just eat the fake cheese? I think we just don't eat as much cheese as these other countries. No, per capita. If you look at a French-like school dinner,

they have a chunk of cheese there for the kids every time. Cheese is a big deal. So it's Denmark, then followed by Iceland, Finland, France, clocks in at fourth, and Cyprus is fifth. And they're all very close. It's 28.1 kilograms of cheese per capita for Denmark, and then fifth is 26.7 kilograms. That's a lot of cheese per capita, though.

That's tons. That's a lot of cheese per capita though. 26, that's tons. A lot of cheese. There's another cheese question. We keep our cheese in a cave. Sure, I love cheese. Most expensive cheese in the world. Do you remember this? And I'll tell you how much it costs. Okay, it's called Pule or Pule, P-U-L-E. It's made exclusively at Serbia's Zazovica Special Nature Reserve located 30 miles outside of Belgrade. It costs $600 to $1,700 a pound. Now, here's the question. It costs $600 to $1,700? It ranges.

$600 to $1,700 a pound. It's from the Queen's breast milk. That's just a big range. What is the milk from? That's the question. Queen's breast milk? No. It's from a nature reserve.

Nature reserve? An animal that you, yeah. Elk. Donkey. Donkey? That animal that you... Yeah. Elk. Donkey. Donkey? It's fucking donkey cheese. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, yeah.

It's made using donkey milk, and it is tasty to boot. That's what she said. According to a lucky few who have tried it, donkey milk cheese is at once crumbly and soft with an intense saltiness. I don't know. It doesn't sound great. Yeah. I've never even seen a donkey's teeth.

A donkey isn't a rare animal. Why aren't we having donkey cheese over here then? I think it has to be from this region. From whatever they're eating probably. Oh, fuck them and their regions. Belgrade. I'm very angry about the donkey cheese. No, you can only make the donkey cheese.

Give me a donkey right now, cheese up. Give me some rennet or whatever. What is it? That stuff you put in it. What are you talking about? Rennet? What is it? What's That stuff you put in it. What are you talking about? Rennet? What is it? What's the stuff you put in to make cheese ferment?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know about that. Yeah, you're right. It's something very close to that. Yeah, I remember that. Cheese enzyme. Yeah, you know all that. That was like so long ago.

Yeah, rennet. You got it right. I remember, yeah. We should just stick to cheese. Yeah, food ones. I'm connected. What is is reddit don't worry about that okay i think it's an enzyme cool um i just had it up there but i deleted the thing so i'm like i looked up donkey cheese in america and if can you buy it um rescued donkeys produce some oh the rescued donkeys too is there any other type of donkeys? Like you ever see a donkey that's just happy walking on the street?

I've never seen a healthy looking donkey. All donkeys I've ever seen look worn out. No, I've seen, my aunt used to have some donkeys because they protect cattle. Donkeys kill wolves. I wouldn't say that about your aunt. She wasn't that big a girl. If they can defend a cow cow they can defend my aunt she had two donkeys

and she had these cattle and she told me you never let the dogs in where the donkeys are because the donkeys will kill a dog they bond to a herd and they will stomp out wolves coyotes things like that like they'll literally kill dogs or dog like animals yeah so that's why you see...

But their cheese is... Has anyone ever had dog cheese? No, I don't know. Probably someone. Yeah, someone somewhere. Well, if they eat dogs in Korea and all that type of stuff, surely there must be cheese. Could be.

Cat cheese. Well, even if you don't eat dogs, you can still milk a dog. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. People just don't want to do it because they're friendly animals. We did an episode on diamonds. Yeah, I know that. Mateo Sharma was our guest. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. People just don't want to do it because they're friendly animals. We did an episode on diamonds. Yeah, I know that. Mateo Sharma was our guest.

Yeah, man. How big was the world's largest diamond? The Hope Diamond. No, that's what you said. Yeah, it was another diamond. It was as big as a basketball. Well, I have here the rough. Okay, there's a rough and a cut one.

The largest rough one was called the Kulinon diamond, and it weighed over 3,000 carats. Found in South Africa in 1905-ish. And then the cut diamonds was the Kulinon ones. I guess it came from this. The Star of Africa was called. It was 500 carats. And there are other famous ones like the KOH-1 Norway,

and at 100 carats, it's famous because it's in the magic. What's the size compared to a basketball? I don't know Let me see if I can Why I don't work in carats Forrest You bought diamonds

Size of a Yeah but Yeah does carats Just mean size I've bought diamonds I've bought a diamond And I've got diamond specs I've had on other bits of jewellery

Well look I mean this is I've bought a diamond I buy diamonds Don't start spreading that rumour What does a carat mean I'm out there Bloody shopping diamonds No I meant You buy your wife a diamond. I buy diamonds. Don't start spreading that rumor. What does a carrot mean? I'm out there bloody shopping diamonds. No, I meant you buy your wife a diamond ring.

Yeah, she gets a diamond. She gets a diamond. Is carrot how big it is? Yeah, how many carrots is the size of it, yeah. What's a carrot? It's like an orange sort of thing. I like those. This one's 1,000 carrots.

Okay, it's 1,000. You can see people's hands there, so it's like the size of a tennis ball maybe or something. It's a tennis ball, yeah. And so that one. A bit smaller. So that one. Oh, so 3,000, three times the size of that. Right, so it's the size of a softball.

Yeah, maybe a little bit bigger, yeah, but somewhere around there, yeah. That's pretty big. Yeah, pretty big. Not as big as a basketball. No. Basketball would be huge. That one's way bigger. Yeah.

Why don't you say that one? Where's the basketball diamond? Yeah, where's the basketball diamond? Yeah, get the basketball diamond up. I don't know. I don't think there was one. Fuck diamonds. What's the point of this? Yeah.

Next one. We did one on the Olympics. Yeah, I remember that. They happen every four years. Next. Mark Dyruson was our guest. That was a dinner party fact. How did the torch start?

The torch started? Yeah, yeah. Remember? The torch wasn't always in the Olympics. Yeah, I remember. I remember. It probably would have been in France because they're all smokers there. They smoke all throughout Europe, though.

Yeah, but the French really go for it. They're like, visible. Not the French. We don't like comedy. We don't like to watch people be funny. It's a bit of propaganda, actually. It would have been because of Hitler. Yeah.

Hitler started the flame. I remember this now. Yeah. Hitler started the flame. I don't want to tell you where he got the flame from, but you can insert the joke yourself. But Hitler started the flame. Yeah.

Controversial roots for the torch in 1936 berlin olympics carl dm chief organizer olympic games conceived of a relay as propaganda as a propaganda tool for the nazi party to showcase their supposed superiority of the aryan race and it went through all these different countries greece bulgaria yugoslavia hungary austria czechoslovakia who would also come to nazi rule within 10 years so why would you keep that yeah i don't know like you think they would get rid of that like if you just started like the things we cancel in our society now because ah this that and the other and that offends people and this offends people and it's like there's plenty of people who are offended

and me included uh by the nazis right and uh why would you keep that it's like literally the the thing that is their symbol. They'd have to rebrand the whole thing. You should start the whole thing with instead of a relay where they parched on a torch, you've got to run up to another bloke, pull my finger, and if he farts, it continues. I like that. And then he goes on to the next bloke. What about you could burp too?

You have to do some bodily function. You have to make a noise with your body without really moving a lot. Burp, fart, that's about it. Yeah, what else do we do? Sneeze. Sneeze, do yes cough yeah yeah you don't want to cough on somebody no but it could count i mean i don't think you can transmit disease through we do a bukkake over whatever the mascot is of that olympics that's good do you think you can get so if you cough on someone you could give them covet if you fart on them i don't think so pink guy i don't i didn't hear of anyone getting any sexually transmitted covet it was all through like if you kept someone uh if you taped their mouth up or whatever you could have sex with them okay i don't ask how i found out didn't the nhs just say that yeah yeah you know the nhs said not to

face each other and you both have to wear masks um bees yeah ted mcfall we mentioned the other day um i saw him on a thing on discovery channel about good honey um to avoid not getting stung yeah what are some things don't piss in your pool man yeah if you're pissing your pool the bees come the p the p attracts them that's right um there's a couple tricks and. And then. No sun movements. Well, you wear, don't wear a certain color. Orange. Black. Because they think you're a bear.

And they want to sting a bear? Well, yeah, they're threatening. They'll come in and rip up their whole. But I have dyed black hair, black t-shirts. I should be stung all the time. I'm pretty sure that's what you said. I have the body shape of a bear. Now, I forget, do they like the smell of bananas or hate the smell of bananas? Work slowly, but here's the other thing.

Smoke. You know how they have that little smoke? Yeah, yeah. So the reason they have smoke isn't because they don't like the smoke. The smoke covers up the smell. All they can smell is the smoke because they have a very acute sense of smell. I think the dinner party fact was they can train them to sniff for drugs or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So apparently when bees are pissed off, they emit some sort of hormone or secrete something, and it smells like bananas. And so that's why he said never have bananas when you're working around bees, because you will get stung. You have bananas around bees. Bananas are bad. Another case for you to be anti-banana.

That should be a jackass stunt. Let's get Steve-O and cover him in banana. He already covered his dick in bees. I know, because I always watch a bit of the jackass with my son, but I fast forward through anything that has genitalia or anything like that, and that was the bit I forgot. Yeah.

I was like, oh, he's getting stung on his dick. Yeah, I should have paid attention. That one's tough for anyone to watch. So no bananas around bees and don't wear black. So you've got two of those things. One of those two things. I'm not going to work out. One more question here is, no, no.

This is when I'm going to ask, oh, yeah, we have a mosquito question. Sorry. How do mosquitoes bite? With their big tooth. Just one big tooth? Yeah, they have a stinger. They have six like needle like things. Oh, right.

They have two. So they have a highly evolved proboscis, which is like a microneedle. And so they have two of them are like saws and they like saw in there. And then they have two other ones that spread your skin apart and then the two other needles that go in there and actually get the blood but they're like sawing spreading and sucking not good and only the females bite do you remember that i do that reminded me because i do a sign language bit with about the sign language for the word slut right and when you new tour yeah and um and so so now i'm like with each country i go to i'm going to learn the sign language of the nationality of those people yeah i learned polish

that's polish yeah why this is polish yeah huh how did you learn that we haven't been to poland yet just fucking well we have google has it i did a few countries all right now what we're gonna do is i'm gonna ask you questions that i did already asked you for certain episodes and i want you to see if you remember what your answer was i'm gonna start with an easy one we did the amazonian rainforest i don't remember that we had a guest daniel nepstad and i asked you the question you tell me what your answer was uh none of these were right by the way what your answer was what None of these were right, by the way, what your answer was. What is deforestation? It's what most people want for this podcast.

Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, I remember that one. A lot of people. You said it very quickly. But I remember how excited you were. You were like squirming. All right.

That's an easy one. Thanks for listening, guys. BDSM. That's not about Amazon at all. No, no, this is another subject. We had a BDSM, and our guest was Dasha Hink. Do you remember her? Yeah, I do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was in the toilet. We should get her set up with some tickets. Yeah, in Berlin. Yeah, yeah. There's a couple people. We had a guest in Austria as well our AI

yeah yeah you set him up I think the diamond expert was in Spain yeah yeah well okay that's good even though we're back

get under that job yeah typey tip yeah so Dossie Hank was our guest I remember when she came on you were like

you thought it was like a brothel because everything was covered in plastic yeah and it was the question brothel because everything was covered in plastic. Yeah. Yeah. And it was. The question was. Yeah, I guess so.

The question is, was there a person's head in the toilet? You can put your head in the toilet and they shit off your shit. Yeah, it was a toilet. And she's like, someone just lies under here the whole time. And then you go shit on them. Yeah. Fun times. Yeah, yeah.

They pay for that. Yeah. Here was the question. What was your answer? What is sounding? Did I say something funny? Yeah, wrong and funny. Yeah, you said.

Oh, I don't know. Everyone. When you go down on a girl with a big vagina, it echoes back at you. These are all funny. That's why I put them. Sounding, sounding. I don't even remember what the real thing is, sounding.

Sounding is when you put a metal rod in the tip of your penis. How do you know this? I've accidentally come across those videos and got very scared. Plus, he's on the podcast. He was from this thing. I know, but this was a while ago. When I found out that was a thing, I became very, I hate that idea. Oh, yeah, because she had the different size rods.

She had the different size. She had a drawer. Oh, yeah. She had the spreader. She had the spreader. Oh, yeah. Because I once had a catheter and the spreader she had the spreader oh god because I once had a catheter and it was like

that was horrendous and how far does a catheter go? it went down far enough to be upsetting I think in millimeters because I had the hemorrhoid surgery and then afterwards

you have to have like a piss when you get off anesthesia and if you don't piss by yourself they can't send you home because otherwise your kidneys will back up or whatever and so they have to have like a piss when you get off anesthesia and if you don't piss by yourself they can't send you home because otherwise your kidneys will back up or whatever and so they have to get the urine out of you and they go they give you that cup and you lay in bed and you're like and they're like no pressure but if you don't get it done the next five minutes we will have to give

you a cuff and i've never fucking egged on my dick more when i just lay in there with that because also it's not even you're not standing over a bowl. Like, my penis is in it. Yeah, yeah. Because when you sit there lying, you don't have to pee as much. You're laying on your side, and your dick's like, what are we doing? And you're like, trust me. It's like trying to pee in the ocean.

Come on. Don't yell at me like that. You're putting a lot of pressure. I don't want to put pressure on you. It's not a big deal. But you have to pee for both of us. Someone's going to get jammed up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they put the caffera in. Oh, ouchie. Yeah, I remember that tour. it's not a big deal but you have to pay for both of us someone's gonna get jammed up there

yeah yeah and then they put the caffera in oh ouchy yeah I remember that tour if you haven't seen that episode definitely watch

the YouTube it was a fun episode we learned a lot I learned a lot and then at the end she gives a tour of the place she works in Berlin

and she goes in all these different rooms and see all sorts of shit that I'm assuming most of you haven't seen. Well, if she doesn't come to our show, we'll go to hers. Yeah, yeah. We'll check it out. That's a hink.

We're coming to you. That's very soon. We did a Watergate scandal episode. Yeah. I really liked that episode. There was a lot of cool stuff. Remember there was a thing about a fire truck? Yeah.

Oh, yes. Garrett Graff was our guest. At Watergate? Yeah. Oh, yes. Garrett Graff was our guest. At Watergate. Yeah. And that's a great, that's one of my favorite episodes. I think the more specific we get, the better, because you learn like a lot of stuff. So here was a question we asked.

How did the burglars get caught the second time when they came back? And what was your answer that was incorrect? I think the correct answer was they were dressed as cops or something stupid like that. I can't remember. But my answer, I don't know what what funny thing did i say they left the key in the room and had to go back to reception and then you said forrest gump called it in i just like that i have to go back oh yeah i left our key even though that was not the hotel part

we were the office part um yeah that was not the hotel part. We were in the office part. Yeah, that was a really interesting episode. You remember what, too, was, remember that, I remember what we learned in that one was, I always thought, like, why did he keep all those tapes? But then apparently that's what presidents started doing is they would record themselves for, like, you know, to have the information.

Yeah, so, like, Kennedy and all, they were all recording and stuff. It was just, like, he forgot he shouldn't be talking about all this shit. And they were like, oh, yeah, and they were all recording and stuff. It was just like, he forgot he shouldn't be talking about all this shit. And they were like, oh yeah, we've been recording all this stuff. Yeah, but I think, do you reckon Clinton, when Lewinsky came in,

went, turn off the tape. I don't think they had it anymore then. I think there was like a- That's by Clinton. Do you like that one? It sounds like Jack on the chip. Turn off the tape. Turn off the tape.

Do your best, Clinton. It's been so long that I've forgotten how to do it I used to do a pretty good Clinton I don't remember how he does it at all

yeah yeah I was about to do like a Kennedy I did not have sexual relations with that woman something like that it's kind of southern

if we all get together and we no I can't do it I don't even saxophone I can't even remember how he talks. I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

I think that was pretty good. I think that was pretty good. That was good. Yeah, there you go. Do your Reagan. Well. Yeah, he just says, oh, okay. Well, tear down that wall.

Let's take a little chat. Nancy and I. Well. She just says a little chat. Nancy and I. Yeah. Well. She just says no all the time. Have you ever been to the Reagan Library? I don't know. I'm pointing like this. Yeah.

Just behind that wall. Yeah. That's to be valid. My parents went. I want to go. There's a foosball machine, right? No, no, no. Have you been to it?

No. I want to go. No. You know what they have there? I haven't been to the library. They have Air Force One. They have an Air Force One. And you can walk around in the Air Force.

And they have a Marine one, too. So it's a Reagan Museum, not a library. No, no. When they call them their libraries, they're basically a museum. They have all this documentation that they store in there. I think there's even an Oval Office thing in there. I think Veep has shot there a couple times. Yeah, yeah.

There's a replica of the Oval Office. Yeah. I think they have an Auschwitz exhibit right now, too. Yeah, they do. It's coming up or something like that. Is Reagan in Auschwitz? I don't know why it's there, but... They just have exhibits there.

It's like all these... Well... That's why it'd be interesting. Mr. Hitler's not very nice. Well... It'd be interesting to see Trump's library. Trump's museum is going to be great. He's going to have a water slide in it.

Do you think they'll have the storming of the Capitol? Or there'll just be pictures of him like, he rocked. This is the time he did blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I think it's going to be pictures of his face. There'll be a replica of the escalator he came down on. Remember those trading cards they were trying to sell? Those NFTs? Yeah, they sold all of them.

There'll be a lot of those. They all went. Well, that's what I said. We did an episode on autopsy with Dr. Darren Wolf. Yeah, the wolf man. Yeah. This is a one-word answer. And I asked you, what is someone who performs autopsies called?

An autopsist. Yeah, that's pretty close. Autopsiest, you said. Autopsist. Yeah. Is that wrong? I yeah it's pretty close autopsist you said autopsist yeah is that wrong yeah it's an optician

ah I forget what it's called coroner no a coroner I don't remember I don't remember the right answer but autopsist is not right

autopsist I'm pretty sure it's coroner I pulled that one out because yeah yeah you're right it's coroner because we were talking about

that show I've watched a lot of CSI no no not the old coroner show what pulled that one out because, yeah, you're right. It's Coroner because we were talking about that show. I've watched a lot of CSI. No, no, not the old Coroner show. What was that one? The old Coroner show. Hey, Jack, how long have you been going for now? 45 minutes? Maybe.

Coming up on an hour, maybe. Yeah. Yeah? 49. 49 minutes. 49 minutes. We've got a couple more questions here for this. You seem fine.

If you want to have water, get some water. Yeah, I'm fine. No, I don't need it. You don't need it? Teddy Toughnut's his boy. Yeah, he's pretty good, man. Mad Mike. I really like this answer.

We did one on cocaine trafficking. Yeah. Toby Muse was our guest. And I asked you to name some famous drug cartels or famous drug dealers from Colombia, Mexico. And what was your answer? I don't know. You said Pablo Escobar, Pablo and the Fun Boys.

Pablo and the Pussycats. And then you said the guy you used to buy from in London is called Dave. Yeah, Dave. Dave gave you good drugs. They weren't great drugs, but they never hurt you. And they did what they said they would on the tin. Pablo and the Fun Boys. This is blowing up on the tin. Pablo and the Fun Boys. This is blowing up and killing people.

Come on, Fun Boys. I'm getting a lot of people write to me like, I run a comedy club in blah, blah, blah, and I supplied opening acts for Louis C.K., Nikki Glaser, this, that. They're always telling me all these opening acts that they supplied people for, and they're like, do you need one in Europe? Do these other acts not take opening acts for louis ck nikki glazier this that they're always telling me all these opening acts that they supplied people for and they're like do you need one in europe do these other acts not take opening acts for them no they do yeah i have plenty of people i know that yeah yeah maybe they take one and they just have one just take a stab i think you know maybe sometimes they don't i don't know for europe maybe they don't maybe maybe louis didn't i don't know but i know like uh sagura

does for sure yeah he's out there right now isn't he he's in australia or something yeah i think he's in australia taylor tomlinson um is in belgium today because all these people that i follow these countries have opened up yeah yeah um we did an episode on nuclear power with our friend kevin peter hickerson whenever oh yeah kevin peter hickerson um i have two questions here because they're both funny. But how does nuclear power work? How did you answer that? You get, like, uranium.

This is a joke answer. You put it into a spinny spin. You know what I say? You said you put things in magnetic bottles, shake them up, and they go, whoa, whoa, whoa they go whoa whoa whoa and then you go Adams I don't know if you could ever come up with that answer again no I'm either really stupid or really funny I'm not quite sure

okay two more of these we did an episode on manatees with some guy named Foreshaw very handsome I'll see if you can remember what is a manatees. With some guy named Forrest Shaw. Very handsome. I'll see if you can remember this. What is a manatee? This was what your definition of a manatee was.

One of my favorite answers ever. Fat dolphins, aren't they? That's what you said. An American dolphin. You said other countries have sleek dolphins. They're the fat fuck of the sea. They look like they should be in smaller bodies, but they overeat.

The fat fucks of the sea. You did this from lying in your bed, remember, in quarantine? Oh, in Sydney? Yeah, in Sydney. This is one of the ones that you zoomed in for. Is this when you started biking in your Dr. Seuss pants? Where they duck the Seuss pants? They're like red and white striped Seuss pants. What are they, Dr. Seuss pants? They're like red and white striped pajama pants.

I like sleek dolphins. Yeah, other dolphins are really... And then like even the bottlenose one, you'd be like, that's like some type of European dolphin. That's here, bottlenose, yeah. Yeah, but you feel like it comes from... Yeah, they're not from around here. It comes from some...

There's a spinner dolphin. Romania or something. What's a spinner dolphin. Romania or something. What's a spinner dolphin? It's a type of dolphin. Oh. Yeah, it's a smaller dolphin than a bottlenose. Cool. Didn't know that.

Is that where the term spinner comes from? When you shag smaller chicks, they're called spinners? I think it's just because you can spin them. I know, but I was just trying to be more highbrow. There was... Oh, yeah, sorry. There was another one I could have asked, too, where it was like, how big...

What is the diet of a manatee? It would be fat... It would be burgers and pizza. You said for years... For many years, it was forrest gum. You were very hostile to this guy. Forrest gum, because you're always in the ocean having naps. You said now it's

fish which is all wrong yeah that's why they're dying out they don't get enough as far as come they were thriving under the forest come regime yeah okay now the last one i'll ask you was time we did an episode on time yeah guys uh that we had on his name is sean carroll and ironically i think this is our shortest episode ever yep even though it was interesting there's a lot of stuff just happened to be short uh there's two questions this one episode ever even though it was interesting there's a lot of stuff that just happened to be short there's two questions this one wasn't so much

it was funny but it's like it sounds almost right how is time defined and you gave me an answer that oh this answer was awesome yeah yeah

I love this answer it rhymes you said time is the and then two things that rhyme how is time defined time is the

blank of blank the expenditure of distance no no you're close it was two things that rhymed time is the distance of existence i was like man if you just said that to someone they'd be like yeah this guy knows what he's talking about i think even sean carroll was like that's that's pretty good i like that because it rhymed too he's like i'm But I think even Sean Carroll was like, that's pretty good. I like that. Yeah, because it rhymed too.

He's like, I might use that. Charm is the distance of existence. We got to hit up Sean Carroll and see if he's using it. And then there was one more question. It's not wrong. No, I think that would be a great t-shirt.

Yeah, you had some pretty good answers in there, but they were all deep. I was like reading through them and laughing, but I'm like, these are still pretty good though. It was like the expansion. You kept like,

you're trying to sound really smart in this one, except for this one. You did not sound smart, and it was wrong, but it was funny. What does it mean when people say time is an illusion? What was your answer? What do they mean when time is an illusion? When someone says time is an illusion, what do people mean by that? That's always some woman in Hollywood who's 50 who wants to act like she's 30.

That's exactly it. That's the only person who says that. Word for word. No, that's some old bird who is 50 but thinks she looks 30. I can't. That was the last one. What is time? What is it anyway?

It's just a number. Very important number. Very important number that gauges how many more childbearing years you have yeah there you go you did well there you did i look you got some wrong if there's any woman who missed the boat in childhood it's uh i'm getting kids uh don't worry about it it's not as fun as you think are there any joy of freedom are there any facts you guys have learned in this show that you like tell people and like every day like what are some that every day i mean like like that you'll you'll whip out on occasion.

The Coca-Cola one. I tell that one on the regular. Yeah. I've already forgotten. Time is the distance of existence. Distance of existence. Time is the distance of existence, man. Put that in a bunker sticker.

This is brought to you by Freeze Pipe. And what is the answer for time? What is time? I didn't look it up. It's a measurement of the future and the past. And the present. I'm looking at, like, all of our episodes. There's, like, you know, going all the way back.

Jim, what is the Archaeopteryx? I don't know. You still don't know? It's still an animal or something, isn't it? I don't remember anything anymore. Everyone's always like, remember when you used to tell that joke? I don't remember. Shit still don't know? It's still an animal or something, isn't it? I don't remember anything anymore. My brain... Everyone's always like, remember when you used to tell that joke? I don't remember shit.

It's my wife. Anyway, I'll say hello to my wife, hello. Yeah. Hello, honey. Hi, honey. Tesla key, Tesla key. Tell her I ate the one chip. Two of them.

Yeah, Jack ate the one chip. Twice. I don't believe it's in my pocket. Didn't you take it off the thing earlier on today? Oh, yeah, I went to Whole Foods. Yeah. Okay, sorry about that, baby. Okay, bye.

You're on the podcast. Oh, hello, everyone. Okay, bye. Changed her voice. That's the podcast voice. That's how she sounds. What do I think? I don't know.

I'm looking through all. I looked through so many of these today. You're bringing up, doesn't know where the Tesla key is. Dreams was a cool one. Evolution. Drinking Water with Erin Brockovich. Greek mythology.

I remember the Erin Brockovich. That was good. Yeah. Aliens with Albie Loeb. But this shows how like, how did I learn anything in school? You go into things in the subconscious because this is stuff that I've actually done and interacted with. In school, it was just people talking in front of me that I was meant to be paying attention.

I was staring out the window. How did I learn anything? What a pointless 12 years that was. I think you, Jim, probably most would remember, if you're going to remember anything, the dinner party facts. Because at the end, you always do like a like a little hey if you're ever at a party and it's almost always the thing we just did it was like if someone

blah blah blah yeah because that's the last thing I have to remember yeah you're like I don't know about that yeah I don't know about that yeah was there anything on this show

that you remember blowing your mind this is the clip show I'm just trying to uh blowing my mind uh I don't know well the the the Frankenstein thing Frankenstein yeah but my mind. I don't know.

Well, the Frankenstein thing. Frankenstein, yeah, but my mind wasn't blown, but it was definitely damaged. I thought it was. And then there was, God, there's so many. The palm trees for the Olympics. Oh, yeah, that one. The palm trees.

I remember that. The tall Washingtonian palms. That's one I share all the Olympics. Oh, yeah. That was a big one. Palm trees. That was a big one. I remember that. The tall Washingtonian palms. That's one I share all the time. Yeah. All those palm trees were planted in the previous two Olympics and maybe they'll plant more. I don't know. No one wants the Olympics anymore.

It used to be a thing that people wanted. People used to fight to get it in their country. Now we're like, in LA, we're like, the traffic's already bad. There was other ones, too. There was like, I think the bread one had something. There was other ones too. There was like, I think the bread one had something like that. There was one like... Oh yeah, bread.

Americans put sugar in it so it proofs faster, right? Yeah, I know, but I'm talking about like the dinner party facts. I can't remember. Hey, join the conversation everybody out there.

All right, let's wrap it up. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're ever on a clip show and someone comes up to you and goes, what did you say the distance from time would be? And you i don't know about that you got distance from existence distance from existence distance of existence distance the distance of existence yeah

that is profound yeah it's pretty good good night australia