I Don't Know About That - Rugby

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

Jim didn't have to maul his way through this one thanks to the help of our expert Angus Usher (@AnalystGus). ADS: SHOPIFY: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at www.shopify.com/idk ROCKETMONEY: Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to www.RocketMoney.com/IDKAT

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could I ask the one more thing I don't think so you might find out I don't know about that New Year Jack got the joke I think I did I got rhythm I got music who could ask for anything more I don't know about that. The Jim Jibberys. New Year. Jack got the Jake. Did you? I think I did.

I got rhythm. I got music. Who could ask for anything more? What's that? It's like an old song. You never heard that song? Who's singing it? It's like an old standard, like Gershwin-y type thing.

Don't know it. I actually didn't know. I thought it was different. And then I was like, rhythm and music. What else could I ask for? I was quoting that Judd song. I'm like, oh, wow. I got rhythm.

I got... You never heard that song? I got wow. I got rhythm. I got... You never heard that song? I got rhythm. I got music. Yeah. I got my girl who could ask for anything more. Judy Garland? Who could ask for anything...

It's like a famous song. I got my girl, Judy Garland. Ella Fitzgerald did it. Happy New Year's, everyone. How was your Christmas? Eh? Eh? Did you have a good time.

Did you get drunk and did one of your relatives say something to one of your other relatives? Yes. Not at my house. We all just got high. But I had a good Christmas. I had a drink. I had a lovely, you know, my two-year-old,

he didn't quite know what was going on, but the magic of boxes of presents was not lost on him. Yeah, he's starting to get it. Oh, he loved it. And I had family over from Australia. It was a lovely Christmas. I joined you. You invited me to dinner.

Oh, Forest was there. Yeah, Forest was there for Christmas. We watched a terrible movie. Oh, my God. What movie? Look, I don't like to shit on movie stars directed. No, no, because I work in this business. It's hard. I don't want to...

You didn't write it. I don't want to upset anybody. You didn't write it either, the guy that started it. But there's a new Eddie Murphy movie called Candy Cane Lane. Oh my God. It's bad. You don't get a bigger Eddie Murphy. Anything Eddie Murphy does,

I watch. I watch. I love Eddie Murphy Anything Eddie Murphy does I watch I watch I love Eddie Murphy You know people will mash up music And it sounds cool Sure They tried to do that with a movie Like hey we're going to take Two different storylines

I don't know what they were doing It starts off as a banger The premise to begin with Is all you need Right Candy Cane Lane The place in El Segunda Here in LA

Where all the houses Are decorated with lights and you sort of when you buy a house with the council you have to say that you will put some lights up because that's sort of

a touristy thing his neighbors won a bunch in a row the contest and so the thing was there's a there may be a contest I don't know

but in the movie there's a contest and his neighbor wins it all the time and he's just got those inflatable ones like the big Snoopy and the

you know the popular ones and he's just got those inflatable ones, like the big Snoopy and the popular ones. And Eddie Murphy's character, he carves ones out of wood, and he puts lights up himself, and he puts a lot of effort into his thing. And all he wants to do is win this thing. Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah, and then the prize money is like 50 grand or something. $100,000 somehow.

$100,000. I don't know where that comes from. And he's like, like oh I need that money and then just coincidentally he gets fired right before Christmas he's got to get his family presents he's got to win this award he needs his money to tie him over

that's all the movie fucking needs the rest of the film should just be hijinks of this man falling off a roof with lights tangled around his leg sabotaging putting extra vaults onto someone else's a bit of that right Falling off a roof with lights tangled around his leg while he dangles about. Sabotaging. Sabotaging. Putting extra vaults onto someone else's. A bit of that, right?

Someone standing in a puddle and doing that thing where they get electrocuted and their skeleton shows through. Yeah, perfect. You know when that happens? Yeah. When you see the person's skeleton. Some animal hijinks. I'm in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Someone trying to have a live manger. Live reindeer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A live manger and a fucking donkey runs off with Jesus on the back down the street. This movie's phenomenal. That's not what happened, though. Right? That's not what happened.

So what gets complicated? He goes to a magical shop. No, they're out of everything at all the shops. And then he just finds one under an overpass. He finds a magical shop. An evil elf is running it. An evil elf is running it. And he buys...

I won't ruin it because people should watch it. I need you to watch it. Where is this found? Jack, this is part of your job. It's Netflix? It's on Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime. Okay.

And it's free. It's got a lot of money on it. Oh, no, no, no. There hasn't been a cent saved. A lot of big names in the cast. Candy Cane Lane. Candy Cane Lane. CGI.

CGI. Chris Redd's in it. Chris Redd, Nick Offerman. Nick Off nick offerman yeah the neighbor is uh the guy from he plays scooter off the other team party down and yeah yeah he's a funny guy yeah yeah his wife is played by uh tracy uh from blackish tracy um yeah the woman who's the mom of blackish anyway the cast is good and but you can even tell during the movie that a lot of them are like Oh no Because I've

David Allen Greer I've been on a movie set Before where you go Oh this is going to be good And then you show up And you go Oh no Yeah yeah yeah

Oh no this bad movie Anyways Merry Christmas You go in with the best intentions But Everyone's got to see it man It's It's madness

This week Greer He shows But everyone's got to see it, man. It's madness. This week. Greer, he shows I won't ruin it for you. I'll watch him talk about it. Don't give him all the hits. Yeah, I need. And you have to watch it. I'll let you be high.

I was sober. I watched it sober. I was completely sober. But I'm not going to let you be drunk, right? I'll take that. I watched it sober. Sober or high. And you know devices. I won't do any devices. This is you're working you're on the clock look i don't use

devices when i watch a movie i watch the movie i'll tell you what with this one it had the elements lucky device up in one of those things that fat ladies put brownies in with the little clock on i have no idea what you ever seen those fat people buy these tupperware containers that have padlocks on them. What? Yeah, it's like so you can put like if you've got cookies. I'm fat. If you get cookies, you get the plastic container, you put 12 hours.

I'm not allowed another cookie for 12 hours, right? And some people do it with their devices, put it in there and go five hours. Interesting. You know what I mean? But it's like a kitchen. I see it. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if it's worked

pretty well this is the other thing you lose weight lockable boxes no no will to power no willpower for 12 hours I was trying to break into this box yeah lockable now I had to take all the axes out of the house sure I I did. Sure I did. Broken plastic everywhere. The exes. Who has exes? I don't know. I have none anymore. Took them out.

No, but the movie, I watched it sober and you know sometimes when you watch a movie high and you're not getting it and you're like, am I really? That's what this movie makes you feel like.

Am I high? And I'm like, wait, I'm sober. If you tell me there's a new Eddie Murphy Christmas movie, I watch any Christmas movie that comes out because there's so many Christmas movies. If you tell me there's a new Eddie Murphy Christmas movie, I watch any Christmas movie that comes out.

Because there's so many Christmas movies that come out. But if it's a big name, and it's hard to get into a Christmas rotation. Like, I'll think of ones that were quite good. There was that Seth Rogen one where he was like. Spirited. No, Spirited was all right. Spirited was last year. And that was all right.

Does that get into the rotation? How do you become an elf? Yeah, once you get into the rotation, you're good to go. Every now and again, we're looking for an elf i don't know if spirit had made it but spirit was a musical again this year it was on netflix it's no it sits in apple it's an apple one oh no but yeah but okay maybe that's why it started charting again in apple because it was one thing but if you can get the rotation i don't know if candy cane lane can get the rotation if it does it'll become like that movie the room where people come to watch it in the cinema well we'll see and we all cheer let's let's let jack

watch it so i like it be honest i will wow be honest um you're on the road this week baltimore maryland okay so boston massachusetts so boston is sold out but we still have tickets in Baltimore yo that's how I talk now just a six hour drive be more so that's the 12th and the 13th

12th in Baltimore 13th in Boston but I was also just if you just saw the shows in Washington the jokes are gonna be the same so don't do that because it was just

just a month ago or buy it again there's one new joke drive on by oh no there was there's definitely one new joke I talk about this movie Candy Can- Oh, fuck!

January 26th, you're in Sacramento, California, and the 27th in Indio, California, out at Fantasy Springs Resort and Casino in Palm Springs. It's like Palm Springs. I love me some Palm Springs. Then you're back in Vegas, Des Moines, Kansas City. You can go to jimjeffries.com. All the dates are on there.

If you're in the Tampa or St. Pete area this week, I'll be at the Sunshine Comedy Festival. Come out to that. There's a whole bunch of comics. So even if you hate me, come down and watch some other comics. It's a real fun festival in the St. Pete, Tampa area, Sunshine Comedy Festival. Why are you laughing? You're bailing on your own plug. No, there's some people that would be like

i'm not gonna come fucking see forest but you know hey you know i don't know who else is there be good yeah come see me even if you should be good yeah um it's fun i think that's it all right i i've got some products i want to talk to you all about at some point in the show maybe not now now let's meet our guest please welcome angus usher good day angus now it's time to play judging a book by its cover covers covers um sponsored okay so, so you're a university graduate, I believe. Yes, you're a university graduate? Yes.

Yes. Why do you believe that? Because books. It's a good guess. And they're not like the books that I have in my house. I have a shelf of books that are meant to look good. They're different heights. And they're just big books with big pictures.

Well, I'm the king of the coffee table book. And now when I see a coffee table book, I'm like, ooh. There was the big book of Ferrari, and it was velvet leather cover. A cleaner would probably put it in the washing machine. It's an inside joke. We'll see if there's any setup to that in the intro. We record this part first. I think people got it.

I think people got it without even saying that. I lost a bit of suede lately. It's been a hard Christmas. So Angus. Okay, so Angus. Like the beef? Spelled the same as the beef? Exactly. Aberdeen, Angus. So are you Scottish? Heritage, yes, but not born. You're in South Africa, I assume, yes? Yes.

Yes, okay. But he does not live there. He's there right now. Oh, he's there right now, but you don't live there. That doesn't really help. Either way. Are you a university lecturer? I am not.

To be fair, actually, to give you a better clue, this background is my parents, so this is not mine at all. Oh, I was wondering why there's so many dildos and strap-ons on the- His parents' sex station. If you're listening to this on the podcast, he smiled. I didn't just meet a new bloke and go, your parents like to fuck. And they assume they do at least once. Okay, so it's your parents' books and stuff.

Okay, so is it a learned... Okay, is it about sport? It is. Is it about cricket? We've done cricket. Have we? Yeah. Okay, is it rugby?

It is rugby. It's not your third favourite sport, which is? Legless running. Oh, South Africa, you mean. The number three sport. He's got a girl today. Yeah, he's out, man. He's out there trying to put an ankle bracelet on him. It's been very tricky.

How did you guess sports so quick and how did you do that? South Africans, they like sports. Yeah. And they're mad for rugby, legless running, and cricket. We've already done cricket. As we found out, I used my power of deduction. Now, we may talk a little bit about rugby league, but we're going to talk mostly about rugby union.

But we're going to talk about rugby in general. I mostly know about rugby league. Yeah, okay. But we'll see. I've never been a big... But I have a second cousin who played for the wallabies in the world cup where they um the wallabies the wall that's question number one the wallabies the wallabies are the australian national team oh that's a nickname yeah you

guys always name that's a cute animal yeah so that so the wallabies, the South Africans are the springboks. Yeah. The All Blacks in New Zealand are the All Blacks. Yeah. Well, let me introduce Angus here probably. Angus Usher has a master's in sports performance analysis from Chichester University in England. Angus has previously worked for several rugby clubs

and currently uses Twitter, X, whatever you want to call it, to post rugby analysis content. You can find him there uses Twitter, X, whatever you want to call it, to post rugby analysis content. You can find him there on Twitter or X, at Analysis Gus. So analyst, sorry, analyst, G-U-S, Gus. Find him there. And he is currently working for a Premier League football club team as well. Oh, which Premier League team do you work for? I'm not really allowed to disclose that, as you'd expect from a Premier League club,

but that's where I'm at at the moment. I'm based in London. Fulham, come on, son. Nah, not a lot of sex. Slightly higher up the table. Oh, go fuck yourself. Fulham's about halfway. Where is Fulham right now?

We're at about 12th or something. Not bad. We're still up there. No, no, no. We're doing all right. Liverpool's on the top right now. Yeah, no, no. Okay, so he's either Chelsea, Tottenham.

He's not West Ham. West Ham's below Fulham. If it's Tottenham, I have a clean-dick 99 jersey. Yeah, yeah. It's Chelsea, Tottenham, or Arsenal are the teams that he works for. Well, Angus, tell us about your background in rugby, like how you got into rugby and analysing data and stats and stuff like that. Well, I mean, as Chisholm said, everyone in South Africa is,

well, at least 50% of the population is obsessed with rugby. And I grew up being obsessed with rugby. I was born in 1995. So I've seen quite a few World Cup wins in my lifetime. And I decided in my early 20s that I wanted to do it as a kind of profession and a career. So I studied my master's in sports performance analysis. performance analysis and um that brought me to working for rugby clubs and essentially um doing sort of analysis for them in the way of um breaking down data and um video footage to to help players and coaches better understand what's going on in a match and to review matches

to then improve and and and i guess move forward with um with training sessions and everything implemented in in the in the use of those data statistics and and video footage analysis that we do cool all right well thanks for being on the show this is what's gonna happen i'm gonna ask uh jim a series of questions about rugby uh he's gonna answer him the best of his ability at the end of that you're gonna grade him on his accuracy zero through ten answer them the best of his ability. At the end of that, you're going to grade him on his accuracy, zero through ten, ten's the best. Jack's going to grade him on confidence. I'm going to grade him on how hungry I am. I don't know why that makes me laugh every single time.

Yeah, every time you laugh. I wonder what points. I'll add all those scores together on the topic of rugby, and then at the end, if you get 21 through 30, Cardi B. Get it? No, I don't really. Cardi B. That was a very lazy one on this one.

Notorious B. IG. What do you think the last one is? Hugby. Samantha B. Did she rap? I couldn't think of any other rappers. She just came in.

Do anything? The other 10. All right. I'm just asking you this right off the top. We like Samantha B. Yeah, we didn't say anything. Did you say anything? I was saying I'll do anything.

I think the show's canceled. I was being snide. As a person who's had a canceled similar show. Yeah, are you doing anything? Clearly not. I'm asking you this right off the top because I figured you're going to try and go back up. This is what this one is. So let's get this out of the way.

What are the differences between rugby union and rugby league? What are the differences between rugby union? For those at home that don't know, I mean, you can go to the very basic. You get two extra players on the pitch

in rugby union. Location, you can even do. In the scrums, you have guys playing on the flank that come, breakaways.

Well, where are they playing, too? You got to remember, a lot of people listening to this don't know anything

about rugby. Where do they play? The two countries play the same. Okay, so South Africa, I don't believe, has much interest in rugby league, but maybe they do. Rugby league is played in the north of England and on, for the most part, the east coast of Australia, Queensland, New South Wales. The two sports, so originally rugby union was just uh an unprofessional sport and the league was brought in so the players could get money and they made some rule changes and stuff like that um the biggest difference that you'll see in rugby unions rugby

league is malls and rucks which is where Rugby Union they all get on top of each other and they all try to push each other back in a big pack. That's not a thing that happens, and they're trying to push it back with their feet, right? And then the other ones where they all just dump on top of each other and they're passing it back with their hands. Mauls and Rucks, the scrums, have got more influence in the game of rugby union.

I guess what are these words you're saying? Rugby league. You don't know what a scrum is? A scrub and a rum? Rugby league has five tackles and then you've got to hand the ball over, right? Where rugby union, there's no end to the tackle. So rugby league, you tackle, stop, reset very quickly. Not like American football, like we're talking seconds.

I know that version of rugby. Hit, under your legs, hit, under your legs, reset, hit, run the thing. Where rugby union will pass, they'll all get together in a pack and go, until the ball gets out, and then they'll go it again, they'll go, and anything. Also, there's a different scoring system.

There's a lot more kicking involved. We'll get into the scoring and stuff like that. Well, you asked me the difference. I know, that's good. Many, many. I know, I know. That's fine. I think that's good, what you said.

It's crazy. When and where did rugby originate? In England, the story goes that there was some private school, because rugby unions, for the most part part is a posh kid's sport. I don't know why, but when it was non-professional, it was all lawyers and doctors playing each other. But in a private school, they were playing soccer, football, as it should be called, and one of the players picked up the ball

and started running with it. We all had a rollicking good laugh. You're not meant to use your hands. And that's how rugby union was invented. Okay. And when? Oh, that was Thursday. Oh.

Okay. So I would say the sport, I'm going to give it a few hundred years. Not a massive amount, 300 years. So, wait, 300 years? Yeah. So 17... 1724. 23 24 come what is it how many players are on a rugby team january how many players are on a rugby team uh now this is gonna be really embarrassing because i tried to buy a rugby league team and i'm now blanking on what happened with

that i'm still involved with it but it's a very long process we there's a lot of people that have to approve you getting the Bears back in. I thought it would just be – anyway, I don't want to talk about it. How many players are on the team? I think it's 15 and 13 on the other one. And a scrum you already mentioned. There's 13 in a rugby league game and 15 in a rugby union. Okay, 13 and 15.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Remember I was – I can't type this stuff in there. Oh, right. I'm not capable of doing that. Right. All right. I'll remember it.

I'll do it this time. I got it. What is a scrum? A scrum in rugby league would be six players, three in the front, two in the second row, and one in the lock position that will all join in with their heads in between the people's asses like on the side of the ass not up the ass and uh you get an extra two players they call breakaways but what is it what is this what is what's happening it's to reset the ball after the ball uh has been dead in play or there's something that happened so the team that has the

benefit of the scrum will be the team that feeds the ball in. And then the ball will have to be pushed back and roll between their legs till it gets to the end. Now, in rugby union, these are huge men bashing into each other and really pushing and like that. And it's really something to see. In rugby league, they should get rid of them now because they don't do anything they're just a formality to get that many players into one area and then restart the play uh how is a try scored and how many points is it uh in rugby um uh in rugby league a try is worth four points and the conversion is worth two in uh rugby union a try is worth four points,

and the conversion is three, I believe. Yeah, you can just do, like, rugby union. Yeah. What is a tight five? Something that Amos Gill never pulls off when he's opening up for us. Keep it to five, mate. Keep it to five. He loves 12.

All right, that's it. I've had a good go, everyone. Time for me to go, which reminds me, I had a girlfriend leave me, and I'll tell you that story very quickly. You know what he always does, too, is he'll get us to aging, and he'll be like, you're supposed to do 15. And he goes, yeah, but I did like, no, I'm sorry. He goes, I'm supposed to do 15.

And then he goes, yeah, I knew that, but then you tell me, I'm sorry. I'm doing this to do 15 and then he goes yeah i knew that but then you tell me i'm sorry i'm doing something right you said you did 20 minutes and you go yeah how much was i supposed to do you're like 15 you go oh yeah i'm fucking i don't know what i'm trying to say man edit this out edit that bit out edit the bit out with you know what i'm saying when he says all right yeah we made the point he runs over i know there's the point there's something there that he says. God, this really grinds his gears. Yeah, I hope he listens to this.

He doesn't. So what is a type five? Turn that up right there. Yeah, a type five. What is a type five? I don't know what a type five is. I'm still trying to think about what I'm trying to say. It doesn't matter. Move on.

Oh, I know what to say. It doesn't matter. Move on. When did rugby- Oh, I know what he said. Yeah. When did rugby become a professional sport? Wait, he didn't answer what a tie-fye was. He says he doesn't know. I don't know. Okay, so I want to say that rugby became a professional sport in the late 90s.

Because I remember in the early- The 1990s? Yeah. Oh, okay. In the early 1990s, I know that there was still... They still weren't paid and it was all... You know, to play for Australia or whatever,

you had to be a really good player, but a lot of players used to go over to rugby league. Now, at the moment, the Australian rugby league team sucks. Terrible team, right? But if we just scooped up a few of those rugby league players, we'd be dominant, but we don't. But yeah, basically rugby league was the professional sport.

Rugby union wasn't. It was played by private school boys as a real lock and a thing to play. You know, they all played. And then they decided, but there was a lot of corruption that went on. So you'd go, oh, this player plays for Australia and he was offered to go play the rugby league, but he decided against it. And a magical new house has appeared.

Yeah. You know, so little secret gifts were given. It's a bit like college sports in that regard. You know, there's little dodgy things going on. All right. I used to be married this man this i angus i used to be david campisi's paper boy what do you think about that i think he also married a south african didn't he well i don't think that's as much of achievement as jim jeffries being his fucking paper boy no i say so Do you remember a winger on the other side

in that early 90s World Cup where we played in England and I think Australia won it and there's David Campisi on the wing. This wasn't the Jonah Lomu year. That World Cup was the World Cup before that. David Campisi played on one wing and the other winger was Bob Edgerton.

Do you remember? Before my time. Yeah, this is... Literally before I was born. No, that's... Yeah, this is a deep cut. Well, anyway, that guy's my second cousin. Never met him.

But... I just remembered the Amos thing. What? Okay. Okay. So... So you'll come on stage. you'll have done 23 minutes, and you'll be like, hey, you're supposed to do 50 minutes.

He goes, oh, I thought it was 20. And you're like, yeah, but you still did 23. That's what the fuck I was saying. You did 23 minutes. I thought you meant to do 15. Well, I thought it was 20. You still did 23. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He doesn't do... Fuck my brain. All right. When was the first international rugby match played? You're still the 23. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't do... Fuck my brain. All right. When was the first international rugby match played? The first international rugby match was played... 1840. When and where was the first Rugby World Cup hosted?

When and where? Okay, there hasn't been that many World Cups. I believe the first Rugby World Cup was in the, I'm going to say like 1980 in England. Okay, which countries have won the Rugby World Cup? New Zealand, Australia, England. I can't think of one, but I'm going to say South Africa. Oh, of course, Invictus. Yeah, of course, the fucking big movie.

Yeah, so South Africa. Okay. And I'm going to say that's it. I don't think we've ever had an Italy or an Argentina or something, actually. Let me jump ahead. What country has won the most Rugby World Cups? I believe England's won one. Australia's won two. And I believe New Zealand 1-1, Australia's 1-2,

and I believe New Zealand is 1-3. What is the name of the trophy awarded to the Rugby World Cup winner? Yeah, no, the Blenner's Low Cup. That's not the Blenner's Low Cup. The Blenner's Low Cup's Australia and New Zealand, England or something, Australia and New Zealand. I'm not very hungry. Blenner's Low Cup. Oh hungry Oh okay The McDonald's Cup then

That'll feed you Who captained Australia To their 1999 Rugby World Cup win 1999 Rugby World Cup win Who was the captain 1999

Yeah 1999 That's when you're gonna party Okay so i believe i believe in 1995 it was nick far jones and i believe in 1999 did you ever i'm gonna say george gregan and did were you there paper boy no but i was campos campo had a had a store in the Sunive shopping mall called Campo's, and I used to deliver the papers around the Sunive shopping center in the northern beaches of Sydney, and Campo was me delivery boy, and he used to buy paper for 40 cents, and he used to give me 50

and just ding, back of my pocket. What did they sell at Campo's? Rugby jerseys and Campo would sit candles set the candles David Campisi

was literally like the most famous but he just retired and he'd sit behind the corner so basically he could buy your jersey and he'd sign it for you

you know what I mean so like did he sell jerseys for other teams or just his team rugby shit rugby boots rugby jerseys rugby shorts just or just his team? Yeah, just rugby shit. Rugby boots, rugby jerseys, rugby shorts, just rugby, rugby, rugby. That's pretty cool.

Who has scored the most points in international rugby? Who has scored the most points in international rugby? See, this would be like a weird thing. Like if it was in one World Cup, you'd go Johnny Wilkerson for England, but he didn't play in that many World Cups. So you've got to think who played in a shitload of World Cups and who's converting these kicks

that was some smart reasoning I don't know any names it'll be someone who does fuck it, Johnny Wilkinson when I started podcasting an online store was the first thing from my mind. But now I'm selling, you know, my records and different merch. Merch that we, not this one.

I don't own the Dodgers. Not yet. Pannings. Got to keep dreaming. Right, but we sell also merch for this podcast. And it's so easy all because we use Shopify. merch for this podcast. And it's so easy all because we use Shopify. Selling a little hat or a large painting, Shopify helps you do your thing however you cha-ching. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business from the launch your own

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Idakat, idkat. Rocketmoney.com slash idkat. Where is rugby most... Oh, wait. In what year did South Africa win their first rugby World Cup? That was the year with John Olamu and in the rugby with... There was... Mandela had just come out and he decided to get Matt Damon to join the country together.

Is this offensive to you, Angus? Not particularly. Good, I'll keep going then. I don't have the most South African accent, to be honest. All right, so in the movie Invictus, I'm going to say that was 1999. Where is rugby most popular? I'm going to say that rugby was most popular in New Zealand. New Zealand, they're fucking mad for rugby.

That's all they care about is rugby. You go on stage and they're like this, the All Blacks beat you! There's a South African bloke on holiday who's really passionate. Oh no bro! South Africa beat you! Who are the British and Irish Lions? The British Lions

are the name of their rugby team. The Irish too? I don't know why the Irish get on there as well. I wouldn't know. The Irish team at the moment is ranked number one in the world. A good friend of ours, Andrew Maxwell, is rugby mad. He does rugby podcasts and stuff like that. He could have been your professor.

He would have talked all day. He loves the rugby. The Irish team is very good at the moment. They're top notch. What form of rugby is in the Olympics game? Sevens. Sevens rugby, which is, of course, cut down from 15 players to seven players. Big open field.

Good for fast people. Fast people. You don't use many forwards. You use more backs because, you know, like fast. Why are there different rugby leagues? Why are there even? The original one was so the players could get paid and that's why they changed to rugby league so they had to have a form of players where uh where ironically okay so rugby union is called

that where the players unionized to make league is rugby better than the nfl and why uh i believe rugby well okay rugby union i find to be a bit of a- That's the correct answer. I find to be a bit of a messy sport with all the mucks and the rules. I still appreciate the game. I think rugby league is a better form of force. Rugby league is a very simple game. It's a row of people, push back, push back, push back, push back.

But the problem with American football is the stopping and the starting. And if you haven't, and all American sports, no other sports have this, I want to stop! Time out! Fuck time outs. I was at the basketball the other day. I was like, I was just getting into something. Time out. Now I've got a t-shirt being shot at me?

Keep playing the fucking game. You mean at basketball? Yeah, basketball. Yeah. The basketball. I feel like all sports have timeouts, don't they? American sports. Yeah, but the argument there... Name me another sport that's not North American that has a timeout. Tennis. Soccer.

Tennis doesn't have timeouts. Tennis has timeouts. Tennis... Okay, team sport. What about soccer when they come up with the cards? They don't have timeouts. No, no, no. You know what they do?

They're stopping the clock and people don't know who's stopping the clock. That's why we get extra time in four minutes, five minutes. But that to me is dumb where they're like, I guess there's six minutes left. No, no, no, no. The coach, the umpire,

he's been using the stopwatch. I know, but nobody knows. That's the whole point that you can't hold the ball and take a knee. You have to play right through till the end. Also, the players don't have a clock

that they're looking at the whole time. They're meant to be playing and all that type of stuff. The game flows and keeps going. The stopping and the starting in American sport drives me crazy. Golf after nine holes when you get a hot dog. Yeah, crazy.

Yeah, but is there an official thing? Hot dog time. All right, Angus, how did Jim do on his knowledge of rugby? Zero through ten, ten's the best. And also, they don't do this at tennis, they go any time. Okay, sorry. I'm ready. I would say he did really well, actually.

I wasn't expecting him to get so many questions right. He got a few dates kind of confused when he was talking about World Cups and when Australia won or when South Africa won and a few other things in particular. But I would say probably a seven out of ten. Oh, wow. Nice. Podcast is over.

How do you do on confidence? I'm'm gonna give him a nine nine only because he he didn't really have a clear answer for the end he just doesn't like timeouts that's very clear i don't know also you're like it's messy a lot of people get the shits with like americans because they go with all the pads and all the this and all of that i think they have more concussion problems because they lead with their head probably you know then all of that. I think they have more concussion problems because they lead with their head. Probably. You know, than rugby players do. I believe they have more concussion problems.

Would you like to give me, would you like that extra point? Yeah. All right, you got a 10. Thanks. Sold me. Oh, okay. Turned me around. I hate the NFL, so it doesn't even matter.

But, hey, it's a strong word, but I think it's my least favorite. You follow a team and you know all the players. My least favorite sport, though. Yeah, but I can give you – who's the quarterback for Tennessee Titans right now? Don't know. I don't know. Okay, I should have gone too high.

Will Levi, I think is his name? Yeah, there we go. Out of the recesses of his brain. No, it's because I play fantasy football, though. If I didn't play fantasy football, I wouldn't know any fucking thing about NFL. Basketball, sure. All right. I'm not very hungry, so Samantha Bee.

All right. Pretty good, though. What are the differences between rugby union and rugby league? Jim said a lot of stuff. I didn't even write the answer down there now, but maybe we can just get that out of the way there. He essentially got everything right. As you mentioned, it's slightly different uh point

scoring uh so in rugby uh the point scoring is i mean rugby union your point scoring your tries are with five compared to your rugby league which is four and the conversions both being two etc um the amount of players he was right with that well, 15 players in rugby union, 13 in rugby league. And the main difference for me, at least, from a visual perspective, is, as Jim mentioned, the structure. So the lack of set pieces in rugby league. So you have lineouts in rugby union, which you don't have in rugby league. There's a lot more kicking in rugby union.

And then, as Jim mentioned as as well the moles and the rucks which are breaks kind of in in the flow of play um slightly different to the rugby league where obviously you have the tackle and then the defenders have to retreat while the player pushes the ball between their legs so the kick the extra point what do you call it the extra when you kick, extra points? Conversion. Conversion. Conversion.

That's two in both leagues? Yeah. I did one of those, remember? Yeah. Oh, you did? I kicked one. How far was that? It was pretty good.

It was pretty good. Yeah, you went that far. Not that far. My first time. Yeah, yeah. I kicked one. I had a janky knee and a cane at the time. Yeah, no, I wasn't doing... It was wet, I remember.

I was worried about slipping. What was that M word you kept using? Sorry. What was that M word? Oh, the M. The M. You're just saying like... I said it twice, Jack.

I was angry. Apologize for it right now on air. Mole. M-M. Mole? Like dark mole. Yeah. M-M. Mall? Mall. Mall and rocks? Dark mall.

Yeah, malls and rocks. So what's a mall and a rock? So what's a mall and a rock? A rock is where you're going back with your feet like that. A rock is where you're going back with your feet. A mall is where you're staying there. You're just going to pass on the ball. Okay.

And you're all standing up. No, it hasn't fallen down. Got it. Got it. Got it. But there's another thing called line outs, Jack. Line outs. Okay.

So line outs. This only happens in rugby union. Okay. My nephew was the king of line outs because he was a tall kid. He was like six foot eight. Maybe ask Angus what a line out is so he can participate. Angus knows. Yeah, I know. It's a vital part of the game. I was going to ask him what it is.

I think it would probably be more entertaining to hear what the line-out does. Okay, so what happens is the ball goes over the line, right? What line? Out of the field of play. Out of play. Out of play, right? And it kicked over that way. And so they have a line-out.

So the team who's now got the possession of the ball, they throw it in like this and they get about, I don't know, maybe six or seven of them to stand in a row each like this, right? And they throw the ball in the middle and then they have to jump up to grab it. But then what they do is to make people really high, right, they get like a tall bloke and they grab his shorts and two other blokes will stand next to him and pull his shorts up like this so he can get like,

you know, maybe 14 feet off the sky in the air, right, to catch it. It looks really bad on the testes. They're grabbing him literally by the shorts? If you Google it, you'll get to see what I mean. They can't grab his legs by the shorts? Rugby line out short grab. I can't stop laughing about that. Rugby line out short grab.

What was that? Edward. Just your that? Edward. Just your reaction was funny. What was that, Edward? Sorry, I'll get past it. When and where did rugby originate? Jim said England in 1723. Is that correct, Angus?

Yes, but apart from the dates, of course. Jim was very excited. The rugby union, or what we believe was the origins of rugby, originated in 1823 by a certain William Webb Ellis picking up a football, as Jim mentioned, and running with it. At least that's how the myth goes. And I guess what is probably most important about that story is where that all took place. And it took place in a town called Rugby at a school called Rugby. And I guess that's obviously where the name came from. So that's probably the most crucial part of that.

I would also like to change my answer to the cup is called the Ellis Cup. Thank you very much. What Ellis Cup? The guy who picked up is called the Ellis Cup thank you very much what Ellis Cup the the guy picked up the ball what's his name EJ Ellis or E.D. Ellis I know but it's the Ellis Cup it is yeah if you would have said you said 200 years at first and then you switched to the 300 you would have have been right on. You said 1823. That's the year, right? 1823? 1823, so it's 200 years last year.

I could have gotten an extra point there. I'll tell you what the Rugby League Cup was called right up until about the year, I would say 1999. You love that year. The wind-filled cup. Like cigarettes? Yeah. They used to have, when I was you love that year yeah the wind filled cup like cigarettes

yeah they used to have when I was a kid I supported rugby league they used to have the in zones which you know we don't call them

that in rugby but it's just for American people what are those called they're called the fucking not the in zone what's it called mate

Angus what's it called the Ingo Ingo there we go anyway so so they so they would just be painted red And what's it called, mate? Angus, what's it called? Ingold. Ingold. There we go. Anyway, so they would just be painted red with the Winfield logo at each end. These players didn't need timeouts from getting winded from smoking cigarettes all the time. The bottom of the trophy just said Winfield.

And the Winfield Cup was the most coveted thing in my childhood. Like, oh, they won the Winfield Cup. It's amazing I wasn't smoking sooner. They used to be. NASar used to be big sick didn't they used to have like a lot of cigarettes or they still do winston cup yeah is that the same company winfield winston i know when i yeah it was the winston used to be the winston cup for the nascar yeah and also you got you got like winfield red and winfield blue and redfield ready are your cowboy killers, like Marlboro Reds. Yeah.

Anytime you see red on the cigarette packet, that's a harsh cigarette. And they always advertise the full strength. They never went, give them the blues. I don't know anything about cigarettes. What makes one harsher versus another? The stuff, the chemicals that give you cancer and stuff is just as prevalent in both cigarettes, but actually on your throat and on your lungs, there's lower level of tar.

Tar. Okay. So that's when they call them Marlboro Lights. Less tar. Yeah, so they're less heavy cigarettes. And they used to advertise it that way too. Do you want cancer or are you a pussy? That's how they advertised it.

Damn. Yeah, and that's why the cow food would always be Winnie Redd, like Marlboro Redds. And Marlboro Redds are fucking, you're going for it. I remember I bought you Redds the first time you had me go get cigarettes because I didn't know anything. And you go, what are you trying to do, fucking kill me? I need some healthy cigarettes. How many players on a rugby team?

You did specify that, the difference, Angus, already. What is a scrum? Reset the ball after the play is dead? Is that what that is? Yeah, exactly that. It serves as a restart for a stoppage, and the stoppage could have been for a knock-on or a forward pass, which is essentially an indiscretion by one of the teams.

Because unlike American football, you can't actually pass the ball forward. So if that happens, then you would get a scrum. And the scrum, as Jim said, in rugby union is 8v8. In rugby union, it's properly contested. So you actually really have a contest for the ball where the scrummage and team is trying to fight over the ball. Unlike rugby union, I mean, rugby league, where you're at 6v6 and it's not really contested.

As you said, there's slightly smaller players kind of competing for the ball and that. They're not really there for the scrum. They're there for the rest of the game. But that wasn't the case. In rugby union, you have dedicated players for the scrum. When I was a kid in rugby league you have dedicated players for the scrum when I was a kid in rugby league they would start having

the turnovers but then with the neck problems and the this and the that the players all decided oh fuck it we're not going to really do this but a rugby union scrum is fucking a thing to be seen

when they because they get like about you know a foot apart from each other and they go boom and they get like

and necks underneath how do they not get injured all the time they do they know where to put you know, a foot apart from each other, and they go, boom. And they get, like, necks underneath. How do they not get injured all the time? They do. They know where to put their heads and everything, but their heads are down and in, and they're all pushing with their shoulders. Like, if you're in the middle, it's got to compress the spine. Definitely one time I got a concussion was playing rugby.

Yeah, that'll do it. Do we know where all these words come from? Scrum and mall. Mall. Mall. Mall. The M word. What do you mean, where all these words come from? Scrum and mall. Mall. Mall. The M word. What do you mean where all these words come from? They're weird words.

Scrum. Where does touchdown come from? Because you touch down. Because that's the whole thing. A touchdown should be called a try because the ball has to be grounded by your hand with downward force. I've seen that, yeah. Right? To be a thing. They have to slam it. I thought with downward force. I've seen that, yeah. Right? To be the thing.

They have to, like, slam it. It's like I thought they were celebrating it the first time I watched it. They go, ka. Yeah, you have to put it down. Where a touchdown, you just have to run over. It should just be called a run over. You have to have two feet in. Two footsie-insie.

Yeah. Something. But nothing's being touched down. Well, the ball has to cross the planer if you're catching two. Yeah, that. But nothing's being touched down. Well, the ball has to cross the plan or if you're catching too, yeah. I'll tell you, if American football figures out how to pass the ball backwards, the whole game changes. They already do pass the ball backwards.

They don't do it anywhere near enough. Every single person, Australian and English person I know, that watch this sport, they're like, what the fuck is... As soon as they're running down, they should be training to have another person run next to them pass backwards going oh you mean why while they're oh yeah they do that in like the last play of the game yeah like when they're trying but but if they fumble if they fumble that then the other team gets it you're professional

athletes wearing fucking gloves with little towels hanging off the back of your fucking spandex pants. How did they make American football so brutal, yet such effeminate outfits with your little midriff fucking chops and your fucking spandex pants and a little towel for me hands, and then I have a little visor in case you shun get you in my eyes. Jim, you should write

a new version of Ted Lasso, but you're a rugby coach that comes in to coach an NFL team. I'm telling you, the moment they figure out to pass it backwards, the moment a team cracks that code where they go, stop blocking, we'll have a guy blocking, have another person that just runs next to him, pass back in.

That's how all tries are made. I saw someone do it the other day. It got called back. Travis Kelsey did it. And it was like, brilliant. Yeah, but there was a penalty, so it got called back. Not because he passed it backwards. It was something else. Angus, do you feel my pain or do you think I'm talking rubbish?

I don't watch enough American football to know the ins and outs and properly, like, analyse it as I would like to. But I agree. Whenever I've watched American football, I've thought there's not enough backward passing and not making use of the space and opportunities there. Yeah. Like literally how many backward passes would we see in a year

of American football? Well, sometimes when they start, if a running back takes it, they will pitch it back. Oh, no, no. You're talking about downfield. I'm talking about that. Not often. It feels like as soon as they've made their 10 yards,

they're happy to die with it. Yeah, yeah. Unless it's a last-minute thing, you probably see it a handful of times. I'm telling you, it would... You know how, like, in the basketball, they figured out, we'll just keep shooting threes, and they used to, like, go down the court,

and they'd take their times, and now they're like, let's go really quickly, shoot a three, rebound it, get a two. Shoot a three. And now scores have blown out to like 150. Only 15 years ago, scores over 100 weren't a rarity, but they weren't – if you saw a game that was – It's a little different.

In the 90s, they had – the rules favored the defense and then they switched the rules to favor the offense. Three is part of it as well, though. Right, but the three – there was never this prevalent amount of threes as soon and also in cricket one day cricket they figured out that they used to like try to get their bats in and try to do really well and then like sachin tandulka came out and said you know what i'm going to get as many runs as quickly as possible and then we can slow down if we get some outs and then the scores just blew up once that mindset. The Fosby flop, right?

The high jumper who went, I'm not going to go over. I'm going to flip over with my back. Imagine trying to sell that kind of a move. Imagine being the first bloke who would have been Fosby. Remember the guy who had the Fosby flop? E.J. Fosby. Yeah, Fosby came down and went, I'm going to jump backwards like that. He's out of his mind. And then he started.

The team to figure out, and I hope, Belichick, I know you listen. He's about to leave. Yeah. Whatever team he goes to, if he takes this on, he's going to be a winning formula. Yeah. Right? Belichick, listen to me, mate. Backwards passes.

Once it gets past the 10 yards, right, and you're down there, have a go. Just what do you get to lose? You've already lost your job. Good point. Well, no no one's near each other but that's part of the problem so okay what is a tight five jim said he did not know angus what is a tight five i said something i must i must go yeah and i had a nice answer it goes down to what we discussed about the scrum really so it's those front five players in that scrum position in rugby union. So it's two props, a hooker, and then the two locks, or also called second rowers, who position themselves behind them.

Hooker? Yeah, a hooker is the player who sits between the two props. Because he hooks the ball back with his foot. Tight five and there's a hooker. They put him in the middle. He's one of the smaller players. You've got two props propping up the hooker as a couple of second rowers come in from behind.

I don't know what your problem is. We call them pimps here. I don't know if they're props over there. And then there's a lock at the back. When did rugby become a professional sport? Jim said the late 1990s. Is this correct? Yeah, he was right.

It's 1995 in Rugby Union. So union so in rugby union it was 1995 and in rugby league it was 1905 so there was a huge difference between that wow okay and are they well paid they are now but not like the same as a premier league player yeah or something like that no i wouldn't expect that premier league's the But yeah, what's an average salary? I would say of the traditional British sports, so rugby, cricket, football, it's probably the lowest paid. But again, it's all relative. So compared to other sports like field hockey or something,

it's obviously much more well-paid. It also depends where you are the highest paid players in club rugby in the world are in france the french league and um the highest played international players are the english now why do they get paid like six figures or it's at least that right or yeah it's six going around about how much the english rugby team made per match um i can't remember exactly what it was i think it might have been 20 000 pounds per match that played for england which sounds like a lot if you're playing a lot of matches like in baseball or something but they only play 11 12 matches a season at most yeah six figures though yeah yeah

as a season at most. Yeah, still six figures. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, still good. Shohei Otani's getting 600 grand a game. And at bat. Well, 150 at at bat. 600 grand a game.

I interrupted what we were saying. Okay, so I'm going to see, Angus, I'm going to do a deep cut for you. Who's the honey badger? Pat Cummins.

Yeah! All right, now, Jack, Google the honey badger. Well, if you did, there was an American football player named the honey badger. No, no, Now, Jack, Google the Honey Badger. There was an American football player named the Honey Badger. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. Because Australia, you know how passionate I am about a certain show called The Bachelor? Of course, yeah.

So there was a guy who played rugby for Australia called the Honey Badger who they made The Bachelor, right? He played for the Wallabies and he was The Bachelor. Then he picked none of the girls. But when you see this is whoies and he was The Bachelor. Then he picked none of the girls. But when you see this is who Australia offered up as our Bachelor... I'm actually wrong. It's not even Pat Cummins. Pat Cummins is I'm thinking of the cricketer. It's Nick Cummins.

But get some just images of him on The Bachelor. Nick Cummins The Bachelor. Is Pat Cummins related to him? But you still said Cummins. You get a point because Jim Fearedins related to him? But you still said Cummings. Oh, I just knew Cummings. You get a point because Jim's here. It doesn't matter. I only call him the honey badger.

Oh, yeah, there he is. He looks like he's in a glam rock band. Okay, but that's who Australia went, that's what we've got for you. His head's like swollen. And in the end he said, I don't like any of them really. He said no? Yeah, he said't like any of them really. He said no?

Yeah, he said no to all of them. Yeah. He was still, there he is. He's ripped. He's in good shape. Oh, no, he's a professional rugby player. He's built like a brick shithouse. Yeah.

But, yeah, that's the honey badger. Looks awesome. When was the first international rugby match played? Jim said 1840. It was in 1871, so about 48 years after the supposed creation of rugby. And it was in Edinburgh between England and Scotland. Oh, yeah. That's technically international.

I'll be interested to see if I got the winners right at the World Cup. Jump to that question because now I'm thinking Scotland. Because Wales have a very good team. That's two questions away. When and where was the first Rugby Cup hosted? Jim said 1980 in England. He said it was pretty recent. Is that close?

It was 1987 in New Zealand. I knew it was in a long time. New Zealand, though, yeah. That's interesting. And the first one was won by New Zealand, I knew it wasn't a long time. New Zealand though, yeah. That's interesting. And the first one was won by New Zealand, I believe, was it? New Zealand won their first home World Cup as well, yeah. And the countries that have won, Jim said New Zealand, Australia, I think he said New Zealand three times, Australia twice,

England once, and South Africa. That's it. I remember when England beat Australia in the World Cup because it was played quite early in the morning and I had had a one-night stand that night, but I didn't want to leave the girl's house because I wanted to watch the Rugby World Cup, so I had to convince her.

So I did watch it next to a girl that I can't remember the name of. Couldn't remember then or can't remember now? I couldn't remember then. This is a long time ago. This is 20 years ago but australia lost and uh what happened after that was australia had also lost in the same year had lost the ashes for the first time which is our cricket contest and it was a very difficult time to be an australian comic in england i would get booed on stage the English are what you call terrible winners they lose brilliantly because they're used to it yeah but when

they win they they panic well this is a different feeling I should abuse the other people whenever I see them you meant to go be happy you're in the king of the day anyway so is that correct New Zealand Australia England South Africa are the only countries that have won yes those those the king of the... Anyway. So is that correct? New Zealand, Australia, England, South Africa are the only countries that have won? Yes, those are the only countries that won. And actually, Jim got the amount right as well, although he didn't list how many South Africa had won, but he said New Zealand three, Australia two,

and England one, which is correct. And South Africa won, I believe. I'll get to how many South Africa have won shortly. South Africa won one, right? No. Two? Actually, as of three months ago, South Africa have won four, which makes South Africa the highest of all of the teams.

We've got four World Cup wins. I'm way out of it, man. I'm way out of it. Yeah, you're way out of it. I don't know. I don't know. Who is the name? Springboks.

You know Graeme Smith? Graeme Smith, the cricketer? Yeah, the're way off on that one. I don't know. I don't know. I went to... Who was the name? Springboks. You know Graeme Smith? Graeme Smith, the cricketer? Yeah, the cricketer. When I was touring South Africa like 20-something years ago, me and him got into a bar fight. Against each other? Yes. Not like...

There wasn't a punch-up or such, but it was like a fucking thing. I was in a... Now, this guy, Grant... Now, you've got to understand, in Australia and South Africa and New Zealand, the cricket captain is second only to the prime minister, right? Like, that's as important a job in our nation as anything, is being the cricket captain. There's more to answer.

So he was the cricket captain, and I was doing this casino in Cape Town for months and months and months. And there was him and a pace bowler. We were in this bar, this swanky bar. And I was talking to the girl. And I had a girlfriend at the time. I wasn't trying to hit on this girl or anything. But I was talking to this girl who did our press for the tour.

And she was saying, I'd just done some interviews with her that day. So I'm talking to her at the bar. was saying you know i just done some interviews with her that day so i'm talking to her at the bar and he literally came up and fucking like went leaned in between me and the girl like that and went how are you nice to meet you or whatever you know south africans how they talk and and she was like excuse me i'm just talking to you and he and he went really this guy like that what are the fuck are you cunt right he's not that big a bloody bloke you know he's not much bigger than me and then i sort of sensed as soon as i did it the whole room sort of changed like this was someone i shouldn't be fucking with because i've been living in america i've

been living in britain that whole time i didn't know who he was right and um anyway so so he goes good luck, mate. And then he sort of clicked his fingers and some people came and dragged me away. And they were coming to drag me away. And I went, hey, man, we all say stupid things. I put my hand out to shake it and he just waved me off and I got fucking dragged out of the club. Anyway, cut to, cut to Graham Smith, if you're fucking listening. Cut to, two weeks later, the South African cricket team decides to come to the show. Yeah.

They're all sitting in the front row. It's me and like five other comedians. This is like a Seinfeld episode. I'm sitting there. And his girlfriend or fiance at the time was quite a famous South African TV presenter. Oh, goody TV presenter. Yeah. Oh, goody. Right?

Yeah. And I got on stage and I told the story. So I was talking to a girl and blah, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And I said, you wouldn't shake my hand, Graham. Yeah. You should have shook my hand. And I said, who thinks Graham should come up here and shake my hand right now? And Graham walked on the stage.

This was before camera phones, but there's still some actual camera. And he goes, and he's grinning through his teeth and smiling like that. And through his teeth, he's like this, you're a fucking asshole. You're an asshole. You weren't wrong. Well, thanks for listening to the podcast. But there's enough. You asked Angelo Zaroukas was in the room.

And who else was there? Big Jay Oakerson was in the room. He will retell that story. But anyway, a few other people. Well, him and Belichick listen to the podcast. Yeah, Belichick, Graeme Smith. Go on, mate. Who capped in Australia to their 1999 Rugby World Cup win?

You said George Gregan. Gregan. Gregan. It wasn't George Gregan. It was actually John Eales, who actually was winning his second World Cup with Australia. He won it in 1991 as well. And he was quite a unique player because he was a lock forward,

so traditionally a very tall player who was a lock forward. So traditionally very tall player who was involved in the scrum, et cetera, but he also kicked for poles. So quite a unique thing because not many players could be seen to be a forward and also kick for poles. And in what year did South Africa win the first rugby world cup? You said 1999, but that's when Australia won. Yeah, I get things wrong. Idiot! 1995. 95.

He was right, of course. That was the Invictus movie. Nelson Mandela was released a few years prior and apartheid had just ended. South Africa were allowed to host the Rugby World Cup and that was South Africa were allowed to host the regular cup and that was South Africa's

one and only time we've hosted a regular cup and they won it in that year but also it was kind of a magical thing because South Africa had been tied off from international sport, no one was playing with them and actually host a big sporting thing like that. I've never seen the movie well the premise of the movie is very

simple. No but does Morgan Freeman play Nelson Mand movie. Well, the premise of the movie is very simple. No, but does Morgan Freeman play Nelson Mandela? No, he plays one of the rugby players. Who the fuck do you think Nelson Mandela plays? Why would he? No, Morgan Freeman. He has a big stutter. He has like an accent? He does an accent?

No, no. He's like this. Hey, Andy Dufresne was a great rugby player. Wait, Matt Damon's South African? hey uh andy dufresne was a great rugby player get busy tackling or get busy dying i've never seen the movie he does it does the i won't do the voice yeah i'll give it a go he does the nelson i can't do the nelson mandela you know the one that deep in the glabra yeah i know that one. I might be stupid or missed it. How often does the Rugby World Cup happen? Every four years. Four years. But, yeah, so Matt Damon plays the captain of the South African rugby team.

Who was that? What's his name? Francois Pina. Francois Pina. Francois Pina. Francois Pina. I'll tell you what rugby was at the forefront when I think of like American sports

right and even now to this day like the captain of the Welsh team was a gay guy and he was, what's his name the bloody Welsh guy, the bald bloke Thomas, Gareth Thomas Gareth Thomas, so they had an openly

gay player playing rugby union, and still you don't have it in like... You had like that center, the twins. There was one center in the NBA, and then you have that guy who was drafted. How's he going? He never made it in the NFL. He never made it in the NFL.

I don't remember his name right now. He was from University of Missouri. Everyone was talking about it all the time, weren't they? Yeah, yeah. People keep it quiet. There was a couple of people after the fact. Michael Sam was his name. Michael Sam.

Thank you, Aaron. We had another bloke in rugby league called Ian Roberts, who was as tough as nails, man. Tough as nails. Would have been six foot five and built like a brick shithouse. They're trying to get the sport. The rugby league is going to be played in Vegas, right? The rugby league, the opening weekend of the rugby league

is played in Vegas, and I may be doing a little voiceover thing for it, so let's see. Or maybe it's after the Super Bowl, so right, it's like probably... Are they doing it in the Death Star thing? Yeah, they're doing it in the same Vegas, the Raiders. No, they're not doing it in the Sphere. No, the Raiders. Oh, is that what you meant? The Raiders plays. No, they call it the Death Star.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Raiders stadium. Oh, yeah, there's two round things now. Okay, no. They're going to do it that the Death Star. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Raiders Stadium. They're doing it. Oh, yeah, there's two round things now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to do it in the sphere. Oh, rugby. Oh, wait. We skipped this one. Who has scored the most points in international rugby?

Is it Johnny Wilkinson? He would have scored it in one World Cup, but he wouldn't have scored in his career. Johnny Wilkinson is third on the list. Followed ahead of him is Owen Farrell, another Englishman. And then ahead of them both by quite a margin is Dan Carter, a famous New Zealand fly half. Right. Dan Carter, obviously. Now, are you like me? Do you think, okay, I could get culturally in trouble

for this, right? Do you think the Harker's a little dumb? Now, if you don't know who the Harker you think the harker's a little dumb now if you don't know the harker is the harker is in new zealand uh you didn't want him to answer i don't think i don't think he wants that i'm saying this for the listeners at home right that the hark the harker is a uh is a maori war dance that basically you do before you go into battle and it's meant to instill fear into the opposition. And it is a very entertaining thing to watch, right? There's a lot of tongue sticking out. I won't do the rest because I've already done the Nelson Mandela voice.

And I've been saying the M word. The M word all over the place. So, you know, I'm all over the shop in this one. I've got to watch what I say. But the Harker to me now, when I was a kid, I used to go, because what happens is they do the Harker, and Now When I was a kid I used to go Because what happens Is they do the harker And then the Australian team

Stands there And what we should do Is we should go like this That would be the best response But what we do do Is we go We try to act all tough And we look at each other

Fucking look at these cunts Wow These are really tough guys But the white guys On the New Zealand team do it too? Okay, so if you grow up in New Zealand and you're in school, you've learnt the haka. The white guys, the Maoris, the everything. I know because I've been there.

Even on the airlines, the Maori language and English. All I need to know is, this is what I love about it, is that Rhys Darby, without a doubt, at one stage of his life, had to do the haka. Let's make him do it tonight. The amount of money I would pay to watch Rhys Dar to do the harker let's make a new it's a night the amount of money i would pay to watch reese harvey do the harker is insurmountable uh what was your question uh do you think it's dumb

i i think i have too many new zealand friends to to be saying anything about it but there's only three million of them all up how many can you have just from the rugby community itself but i would say that it's probably lost its shine over the years for me i i think the amount of rugby i watch um i've probably watched too many huckers for me to get as excited as i used to be about them yeah when you're a kid it's fun isn't it but also okay so i i'm not against it in the sense that okay i find it stupid that americans play the national anthem before every sporting game i understand before international sports but before every sporting game i feel like we're doing so many of these games we know the national anthem it's a you know but it's a it's a cultural thing

that americans do do it so i stand up i'm respectful when it happens i'll take me hat off and all that type of stuff as an american as well but I think it's a bit of overkill singing the national anthem before every sporting event especially in domestic leagues um but with the rugby I know they don't do the harker in the domestic New Zealand league before each game they only do it in internationals if they get their dance I want to dance too that's what I reckon I reckon we all get their dance, I want to dance too. That's what I reckon. I reckon we all get a dance. So Australians do some type of Australian dance, maybe just shuffling along drunk to land down under or whatever it might be.

Drunk shuffle, yeah. Yeah, and the Welsh could do some type of Welsh, like, you know, where they get the ribbon around a stick. What about Riverdance? The Riverdance is the Irish team. I'm saying they're number one. Yeah, the Irish should be dancing with their arms by their sides, with their legs going maniac.

Or as I call it, the reverse quadriplegic. Oh, my God. Because that's what happens to the Riverdance. The lower body works, the upper body doesn't. Yeah, the Riverdance people, they're quadriplegics, but their upper body didn't work. All right, listen, Jim said... They need to be in an armchair.

Jim said that the rugby is most popular in New Zealand. Is this correct, Angus? I mean, it's obviously subjective. It's a very popular sport in New Zealand. Per capita, it might be more popular in Fiji, say, because almost the entire country of Fiji is obsessed with rugby. South Africa has got a higher population in both those countries. So you could say from that perspective, it's more popular in South Africa.

And then as Jim touched on, rugby league is mainly popular in Australia and northern England. What other? Okay, so the countries that have won, England, Australia, South Africa, New Zealand. Okay. And what other country? You said Fiji plays, Ireland. Ireland, Scotland, Argentina, France. It's surprising that France hasn't won at once because they're a competitive rugby nation.

America? The Dutch will wheel out a team. America wheels out normally in the sevens. They don't wheel out in the World Cup. I might be wrong there as well, and we should probably let the expert answer. I would say if you had to list the teams that have been closest to winning a World Cup that haven't won one, would be France France have been to quite a few World Cup finals teams like Wales Ireland Argentina those other strong rugby nations they've never been to

World Cup final at all so France are quite a dominant team in the rugby landscape that have actually never won it. But as you mentioned, I mean, there are quite a few World Cups that have actually happened. So we've only got England with one World Cup, Australia with two, New Zealand with three and South Africa with four. That's it. It's very easy to remember. All right. And then what are the British and Irish Lions? Jim, is that the name of the rugby team?

It's essentially a touring squad that goes back to the days of amateur rugby, really. It's the grouping of Ireland, Wales, Scotland, and England combined for one tour every four years. And they do a tour of either Australia, New Zealand, or South Africa, which means essentially each of those nations, like South Africa, will get it every 12 years. And that team tours. It plays a lot of club matches against club teams from that country,

and then it plays test matches, generally in the modern era, three test matches against the nation that they're touring. All right, and then the form of rugby in Olympic Games, sevens, we've been over that, so there's less people on the field. Different rugby leagues, is there different rugby leagues so the players could get paid? That's what Jim said, is that why?

Yeah, so, I mean, rugby was unified in 1871. As we said, that was the first game. But a few decades later, there was kind of players who wanted to get paid for rugby. Leagues up north in England, and this is where it all began. The leagues up north in England wanted to have their players paid, and they were getting in trouble with the the original rugby union about having paid players so essentially they broke off and and decided to create their own league where they could pay players and and then from there the rules actually started to change so originally when they originally broke off the rules were actually the same as rugby union greatest three players of all time?

I would have to say we've already mentioned one, Dan Carter, top point scorer, New Zealand rugby legend, always often the go-to name for people when it comes to who the greatest player is. From then it gets a lot tougher. There's another New Zealand player called Richie McCaw. He was the captain for New Zealand when they won two of their three World Cups, which has now been matched by South Africa's Sio Khaleesi,

who has captained us to the last two World Cups, so 2023 and 2019, where we've gone back to back um i was obviously i was living in america during that time that's why i didn't keep up with those stats you know you can't blame me for it's very hard to watch the rugby um but uh you what about okay so so you didn't put jonah loma in the in the list. I would argue that Jonah Lomu had the biggest impact on any sport I've ever seen for the shortest amount, like the biggest kapow I've ever seen to anyone entering a sport ever.

I've never seen someone, and I know you probably can't put him in the greatest players of all time because his career was so short. But was he worth the hype or am I just remembering it through my child eyes no i'm not even saying that the south african captain i mentioned seo calise i'm not even saying he would be in my top three i'm just saying he's obviously done the feat as well

um if i were to say top three it would probably be dan carter richie mccall and jon Lomu. Lomu, as you said, he kind of broke the game in those early 90s. In 1995, when the sport went professional, he had the most tackle breaks that still have never been broken in a rugby world cup. Defenders beaten. He was a freak of nature. He was the fastest player on the pitch, but also the strongest strongest and he was six foot five and he was six foot four i believe something something around there why was this he had he had kidney failure he died quite young and then also he was just a big bloke and he had some medical issues and stuff like that but put jack put in jonah lomu highlights right and so we can put on I how do you even spell that Jonah J-O-N-A-H Lomu L-O-M-U Lomu I believe yeah um and uh uh I've never seen I'm including Michael Jordan Wayne Gretzky or whatever I've never seen someone in a game look like they were so far superior to everybody else playing the sport that it was a little bit silly.

Where if he was a racehorse, you would have handicapped him. Yeah. You know? He was something else. In that 1995 Rugby World Cup, he scored an amazing try against England where he quite literally ran over about four players, almost trampling them. So let's just – we can make an edit point here,

but I just want to just show – Top ten tries. All right, we've done all the questions. Now is the part of our show called Dinner Party Facts. We ask our guests to give us some sort of fact that's obscure or interesting about the subject that people can use to impress people. You got something for us, Angus? I do. I guess one's quite relevant

to what we just discussed so it's worth starting with um interestingly despite playing quite a few games against south africa joe nulomu never actually scored against south africa um and he became really good friends with a player called yus van de vest Veste who was one of the key reasons he didn't score in that 1995 World Cup final who tackled him, I think it was eight or nine times in that match alone. But he ended up getting MD and passing away and they were close friends when they were both struggling with illness. So it was quite a lovely story. I wonder how he got MD.

Is that a C for you? Muscular dystrophy. Oh, I meant muscular dystrophy. Fuck was probably, is that a C for you? Muscular dystrophy. Oh, I meant muscular dystrophy. Fuck. I'm the guy who's meant to know about muscular dystrophy. Fuck. I was thinking of MS.

Wait, he played against, I thought he was from South Africa. He played. No, no, no. John Lowe was in New Zealand. New Zealand. I'm sorry. Okay, so he never scored

against South Africa. Okay, got it. And it was that World Cup was the whole thing. But then didn't Jonah, he like, while he was at that World Cup, he met and married a South African girl, didn't he?

I don't know about that. That's the podcast. That's the name of our podcast. Now you get covered in slime. I said it. He said the words. Awesome. All right, Hank.

I guess the other one. Oh another one yeah that was probably the the more interesting one i have is um that try is originated the the try originated uh in rugby as not actually being a point scoring form so the reason it's called a try is because you got to try to kick at goal. So that's where it got its name from, obviously. It originally was a way of converting. And if you kick the ball over, then you got one goal. So games were like the original game between England and Scotland, the first ever international rugby match.

England scored one try and missed the conversion so they had zero goals and Scotland scored two tries but got one of their conversions which meant they had one goal so their actual score was 1-0

and they used goals as their scoring system now that is fascinating for me because I've been talking about tries my whole life. I've never known that. And you said that early in the show. You go, it's called a try, but there's a reason. Yeah, so next time I see Crow, that's going to be my dinner party fact to say to

Russell. I'm going to go, because he owns a rugby league team. Do you think he'll fight you on it? I'm going to go, it's Russell. He's a pussy. He's a teddy bear Russell Crow. He's a lovely fella. And I'll go, fella and I'll go Russell I'll go why are they called tries

he will have an answer yeah well back in the 1800s when no I'm going to have that thing in my back pocket

boom alright I didn't even ask you again I forgot what it is already but I'll google it you know what I forgot to ask you because I saved this again

for later what is the name of the trophy for the Rugby World Cup? Ellis Cup. Yeah, man. From Ellis Island. What's the answer, Angus? William Webb Ellis. Yeah.

He would have been a cunt, though. William Webb Ellis. You're at school. We're trying to play soccer. William's picked up the ball again. I figured out a different sport. Ha-ha! Thank you for being here.

Sit down, Ellis, you cunt. Thanks for being here, Angus. Again, if you want to follow him, it's on Twitter or X, whatever you like to call it, at analystgust, A-N-A-L-Y-S-T-G-U-S. Thanks so much for being here. Thank you for having me. Thanks, Angus.

That was good. I like the topics I know a little bit about but not enough. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're ever at a dinner party and someone comes up to you and goes, remember that try that John Olome scored against South Africa? Go, don't know about that. Walk away. Get out of there.

Good night, Australia.