I Don't Know About That - Stand-up Comedy with Wayne Federman

Episode Date: March 16, 2021

In this episode, the team discusses the history of stand-up comedy with comedian, actor, author, writer, comedy historian, and podcaster, Wayne Federman. Follow Wayne on Twitter @Federman and make sure to check out his podcast "The History of Standup" wherever you listen to podcasts. Also be sure to check out his new book, "The History of Stand-Up: From Mark Twain to Dave Chappelle", out everywhere NOW!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dogs. Cats. Are they the only animals? No. Maybe. The other animals aren't in this room. I didn't see the other animals this morning in my bed. Hi, welcome to I Don't Know About That with Jim Jefferies. Every time we do the intro, I always go on about, like it's always something in the room. I have a cat, so I saw a cat today, and Boris has brought his dog, so that would have to be the only animals. We already did an episode on animals,

and we're like, no, no other animals. No other animals. How is everyone going? Good. Great. Okay. I have a little announcement to make. I was chatting to my management yesterday,

and I've been talking about this for many years now, and Forrest hears me talk about this on the regular, but I'm going to be – my management wanted me to make a bigger statement and actually release something, but I think I'll just tell the listeners here now. The next tour that I put on sale for my stand-up will be my last. I'm going to do two more years of stand-up comedy and I'm contracted to do a special with Netflix and then I'm not doing stand-up comedy anymore.

I'll still do some acting if people will have me. I'll do some TV presenting and I love stand-up comedy very much. But it's time for me. I realized in COVID how much i enjoy being at home yeah wait this is so much better and uh but if if you if you live in uh canada america australia or britain i will be visiting each one of those countries and doing all the major cities once and that'll be the last time i do any of those cities you shouldn't have said where you're going because it's already going to be like, what about Greece?

I thought you were coming back to Cleveland. One of those things, there's things like I would like to do, like there was a guy who was offering some gigs in Italy and I'll probably do something like that. And it may take a little, it'll be two years from when I start doing stand-up again. So it may be a year before that starts up again. But I just, you know, I would like to be at home uh with my family and uh they're just uh you know i'd like to have another child and uh i miss so much of my first child's uh childhood just being on the road and that type of stuff and i really like being at home and i

also i feel like i'm repeating myself a lot on stage and i it it will be nine standup specials. And if you can't get anything, you know, like nine standup specials there, that's all the stuff, man. You know what I mean? Like, what else do you want me to say? How much material you're burning on this every week? Yeah. I'll still do this podcast. This will still be going on and I'll act and I'll, I wouldn't mind working in a writer's room on a sitcom or something like that. When you're so good at selling TV shows too, it's like, how do you, like, how do you have the energy to even go out and do stand up when you're trying to. I'll just keep selling more.

And you know what, when I was doing stand up regularly on the road, which has been the last 20 years, um, I have passed up a lot of acting work cause the stand up so lucrative and all that type of stuff. And, uh, uh, so I just wanted to say that to listen to that. And obviously when we might, you know, I don't know what I'm going to call the last tour. It may be called Farewell Cunts. Good night, Australia.

See you, cunts. That's what it's probably going to be. How about the Burning Bridges tour? Fuck everybody. Yeah, it's, I just, you know, I don't think people can understand the toll it takes being on the road and then you compound that over like 20 plus years it's it's hard even at the level you're at when you're doing your theaters and you're traveling and you're staying in nice places it's still just brutal on your brain and your body insane amount of specials too in such a short period of time

yeah well it's just 20 years. I sort of thought that was enough. And then like COVID really hit it home for me. I was just sitting around the house going, this is good, man. And now that the world's opening up, I don't want it to open up. I know. I'm like, oh no, responsibility's coming back and all that type of stuff. I was thinking about the other day.

I'm like, can you imagine going to work nine to five every day now? I couldn't imagine it then. You're talking about, I haven't done nine to five. Imagine going back to the TV show. I haven't had a nine to five job since I was 19. But like the TV show, we were there pretty much every day, all day. Like it would just be a big adjustment to go back to work full time is what I'm saying. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A nightmare. I think I enjoyed initially getting up and like having a purpose and all that type of stuff. A purpose would be good. Everyone always says to me like even if I don't get any more TV work or any acting or anything like that. And also, let's be honest, I reserve the right to take stand up up again. Yeah. I definitely won't do it for a few years. But if I decide to do it again, I can do it again if I want.

I imagine you might do it around town once in a while, improv at a comedy store, pop in if the bug gets you. I don't know. I went on stage recently, and I've been having to drink before I go on stage, and I get very nervous going on. I feel like I've lost a little bit. But going to play in front of my fans and everything

and with a full set and everything like that, I'm very confident about, and I really believe I have one really good special left in me i've i've given up on ever winning an award or a grammy or anything like that i don't worry about things like that anymore well you know if you make it that's something uh something special you know maybe maybe it's a four hour set well this is this is what i'm, this is what I planned for the last two. I planned to give you an hour of new material and then doing an hour and a half and doing two routines.

Some classics? Some classics, yeah. Greatest hits. Well, let's be honest. It'll be maybe the Muscular Dish 3 story and Gun Control. Now, you know what you could do? They have those little things at the theater. Wherever you perform.

When people walk in, there's a little card, and they get to fill out which routines they want to hear, and then someone backstage gets added. It'd be like a jukebox. I've done that where it's like we did that like in Australia where you could tweet me questions and stuff like that on the screen. Oh, yeah, I remember that, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then I'd answer them afterwards. That was good, actually. Yeah, it was good. In the auditorium, people would tweet you and all that on the screen. Oh, yeah, I remember that, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'd answer them afterwards. That was good, actually.

Yeah, it was good. Being in the auditorium, people would tweet you and all that type of stuff. We had to start policing it because people were just fucking sending dick pics and shit. It got a bit. What was the other thing I was going to say about that? Oh, well, that's all I've got to say about that. I'll make a bigger announcement when the tickets go on sale

and I'll do some interviews and stuff then. I know my management asked me not to say anything, but I just thought I'd get it out of the way. Okay. All right. Well, we do want to announce our new merch line of bucket hats, though. Yeah, bucket hats. I was going to do the shoulders.

I was cutting a T-shirt out, but I was late today. I was going to show up in a bucket hat and some cold shoulders and I was going to leave a jacket on and then I was cutting a t-shirt out but I was I was late today I was going to show up in a bucket hat and some cold shoulders and I was going to leave a jacket on and then I was going to go it's a bit cold here cold shoulders

and then I I just didn't get around to it I thought it was a shoulder silhouette it's a cold shoulder silhouette I was watching Kath and Kim and Kath had a pair of mango espadrilles on

and I was like fuck and also and also like Forrest even asked where do you put espadrilles there's an S on the end of course it wasn't a hat it's a shoe

it's a multiple Jack why are you sitting at the table? I have some life hackets for us today good life hackets theme song Jack Jack

Hackets Jackets Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, That guy's not touring anymore. Thank you, Smitty, for sending that in. Sometimes they're genius. What is he listening to? Sometimes they're not good. Sometimes they are good. What was the genius moment? When he pulled one sleeve over and tore his armpit.

No, the shirt's got no hole. We're good here. First one. Hey, you got some dish soap and you're kind of running low? Add some water and space it out. And then you can get the last life of your soap out of there. So you're saying water down things?

Yeah, water it down. Life hack. So little confidential. Does that work with other things? All soaps, shampoo, body soap. Yeah, cordial it works with. You know what it works really good with? Water.

Ooh. You need to get a little bit more water, put some more water in there. I'm going back to the other hat. I can't hear with the bucket hat on. I can't hear. The headphones are over the top. It's probably better you don't. I didn't know what was going on to the other hat. I can't hear with the bucket hat on. I can't hear. The headphones are over the top. It's probably better you don't for life. I didn't know what was going on with the soap.

So you add more soap to things? Was that what you said? No, add more water to your soap. There is a life hack for ladies with mascara. Once it starts to get dry, you can put eye drops in there and lubricate it a little bit more, and it makes your mascara last longer. Add water to everything? Life hack it.

It's not water. I said eye drops. Did you hear that gulp? Next, we've got a ketchup pack. If you've got some pesky cum under your tongue. Water. How long has that been there? Ketchup pack.

Hey, you want ketchup that lasts a little longer but has a nice tang to it? Add some water. Fanta. You got that from Luis. I got that from Luis. Luis, back me up here. I've never had it. He handed me this mic right before and said, I got one.

I'm going to need your help. I was wondering why you had a mic set up already. You just scoop it up out of the bottom of the Christmas tree. They do do it in Mexico. That's what he told me about. Do Mexicans add Fanta to ketchup? Yeah, I think they kind of do it for that same soapy reason, to make it last longer.

Because at restaurants, they got the squeeze bottle, they add Fanta. At restaurants? Yeah. They put it on pizza and stuff. Is ketchup that much more expensive than Fanta? Well, first of all, it's got soup over there. Cat soup. Cat soup.

Cat soup. Cat soup. Yeah, no, it's like they add the Fanta to it. You mean Gato soup. Did you hear that? And they put it on pizza. Oh, it's great. It gives it the right level of tang.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You put a bit of Fanta and a bit of tomato sauce. Some flavor aid. Yeah, yeah, you put a bit of you put a bit of Fanta and a bit of tomato sauce. Some flavor aid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have it with a bit of flavor aid. Oh my God. Sit around the Christmas tree that's still green in March. I like your new method here. You're like, hey guys,

have you ever had ketchup and it's running out? This is like a new format. Yeah, the presentation is good. Recipes aren't life hacks. You know what you should do with peanut butter? Put it on toast. That's a great hack. We'll do that one next week.

Some jelly. So I found these two online that I thought were fitting. These are online hackettes. These are online life hackettes. These are life hackette approved life hacks. Trouble with chopsticks? This is how it's phrased. Trouble with chopsticks? It's perfectly acceptable to eat your sushi with your

hands. That's the way it was originally done in Japan. Yeah, I eat sushi with my hands. But is that a lifehack? It says it's a lifehack on this website. It feels like we're getting sloppy with the lifehacks. It says 1000lifehacks.com, but this is lifehack 1162, so run it out.

Not even in the list. It works with all food. You don't want to use a utensil? Use your hands. All your cutlery's dirty? Use your hands. That's how they used to do it as cavemen. Get rid of that pesky silverware.

But I like how you started off with trouble with chopsticks. That's how it's phrased. That's how it's phrased. That's how it's phrased. This one really made me laugh because it's going to work for my character. These are meant to be your life hackers. You found a list that someone else did. Yeah, yeah. What about yours?

You've already run out? And then you couldn't even pick good ones. No, these are good. This one is, hey, don't be on your best behavior on a first date. Do be your normal, everyday, everyday relaxed hanging with friends behavior. You want to be the person to like you for who you actually are not who you are pretending to be. You will save

yourself a lot of wasted time dating people who only like to fake you. How is this a life hack? I don't know. Is this a text your mom sent you? It feels like advice I was given. It's bad advice. You should pretend to be somebody else. Yeah, you're going to be someone else.

You don't want to be your real self. On a first date, you always pretend to be a richer, hotter, funnier version of yourself. That's how it works. How do you be a hotter version? Dark restaurant. Bucket hat. Bucket hat. Cold shoulder silhouette.

You don't have any of your own hacks? I did the two. Well, one of them was Lays's, two So you had one We have some listener hacks Okay, we'll get to some listener hacks This is from David Lesser He goes, alright, I think you guys will like this one If you're having a hard time with a poop Pick your feet up and grab your knees

And gently rock back and forth on the toilet If that doesn't help, another method is to Again, pick your feet up off the floor And run and forth on the toilet. If that doesn't help, another method is to, again, pick your feet up off the floor and run in place on the toilet. Love the show and hopefully this will be received well. Pick your feet up off the floor and run in place? So you mean like get them up and then move

your legs? I mean, it's basically getting yourself in a squatting position, which is what the squatty potty is for. Yeah, the squatty potty fixes that. Yeah, but... Rock yourself back and forth. I feel like if you do too much movement on the toilet, you could fucking rip the toilet seat off. Yeah, the seat would get messed up,

especially if you have a nice Toto toilet. Yeah, definitely don't want to place on that. How's that working out, that toilet? Oh, it's fantastic. But the Toto, if you're having trouble shitting, it just reaches up into your ass and pulls it out, right? It has a little scoop. Yeah, yeah.

That's what you pay the big bucks for. It's got a small person that lives in there. It just coaxes the poop out. Alright, our last life hack of the day comes in from Tim from New York City. Whoa. The big city. The big apple. And if you can make a life hack there, you can

make it anywhere. So he goes, after being an idiot stoner my whole adulthood, I recently discovered that you don't have to burn your tongue slash mouth to see if a cup of coffee or bowl of soup is hot. Your fingers can sense the heat instead. If the container feels hot to the touch, it's too hot to drink. Your fingers will sense it's just hot enough to not burn them.

Yeah. His life hack was touch it with another part of your body. You can still burn your fingers. Yeah, exactly. At least it's not your tongue. If someone could explain to me why, so with baby baths,

when you test the water, you're meant to test it with your elbow. Oh, really? I just swished my hand in there a bit. That's alright. You pour some in your eye. See if that works. always just switched my hand in there a bit and went, oh yeah, that's all right. Ready for a bow. Well, you pour some in your eye. See if that works. There's something,

I don't know, because you know how you can pinch the skin of your elbow and it never hurts. Yeah. Yeah. It never hurts.

Oh, so. But like, who's having these baths where the skin just falls off of you? You just tap it with your, I can tap boiling water like, oh.

No, it's, it's, it's more controlled now. I think back in the day, like, people, like, older people, younger people actually did get burned so badly in, like, baths that they, like, were hospitalized or died. Now I feel like the water doesn't even get that hot. Your hot water system taps out at, like, whatever degrees.

Yeah, I think they're more. 130 or something. It's way more regulated now, like, for safety. Like, it's not going to get to that temperature, I guess. I don't know. Remember in Rain Man? That was a thing. Yeah.

That's why he was autistic. He burnt babies. That's how you get it. That and vaccines. Touch it with your finger. Wow. That was it. Touch soup with your finger.

I guess maybe our listeners don't know what life hacks are either. Yeah. I don't think anyone does. The internet doesn't. I don't. I don't think life hacks are a thing. All right. But we'll keep trying.

Maybe a few weeks. Let's just keep trying. You know the other life hacks that I really dislike that are on the internet that aren't life hacks are those ones where they go, here's a recipe. So you get the noodles of the pasta and you pump them full of things and then you leave them upright and then you get the ham and then you put a steak in a toaster, you know, those ones. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And then you cook the steak in the toaster for 10 minutes and it comes up and you're like, just cook your fucking steak on the grill like everyone else, you numb-nutted cunt. What are you fucking putting things in toasters and stuff? I saw a good one recently. It was about cutting onions. If you have a wet paper towel on the cutting board, you won't cry. Does never work.

The onion ones never work. I tried it. I know. It'll work once because you're in your gut, and then it won't work again. What do you mean it wouldn't work? I don't know. When I worked in a restaurant, there was always a thing. Like, you put water in your mouth, you breathe through your nose.

Yeah, because there's something like the whatever acid or something. The onions figure it out. They're smart. Just get your wife to do it. Oh yeah, life hack. That's good. That's life hack of the day. No, it's not a life hack it because you know.

If your house is dirty, get your wife to clean it. Life hack. If you're hungry, ask for your meal from your wife. Life hack. These are life hacks from the 1950s. Yeah, 1950 life hacks. All right, let's read some adverts.

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That's proactive.com slash idk and take advantage of this special offer now that's proactive.com slash idk and subscribe to constantly clear skin yeah uh please welcome our guest to the show wayne fetterman good day good day wayne how are you well thank you i've been told that we've met and i don't remember. I feel really terrible. Not only have we met. Oh, God. Oh, God, we've had sex. No, no sex.

But we are in a film. We're in a film together. We're in a film together. That's your hint. That's your hint. So was it one with David Hasselhoff? As a matter of fact, it wasn't, but that's a good guess. Oh, it wasn't. If you want to film together. That's your hint. That's your hint. So was it one with David Hasselhoff? As a matter of fact, it wasn't, but that's a good guess. Oh, it wasn't.

If you want to be wrong. Oh, was it the one Punching the Clown? No. No, I've only been in a few films. What kind of movies have you been in? Was it a horror movie? Yeah, give it another hand. What was it?

No, it was a documentary. Oh, I've been in a lot of documentaries. So it could be the history of swearing. It could be comics. So you're a stand-up comedian? You betcha. All right, okay, okay. Now there's a stand-up comedian.

So now I feel a lot better about this. All right. How do you feel better about it? Yeah, is this especially top-week stand-up comedy? It is. Hooray! feel better about it. Yeah. Is this especially tough for stand-up comedy? It is. Hooray! Here,

Wayne Fetterman is an American comedian, actor, author, writer, comedy historian, podcaster, and an adjunct

USC professor. He was the head monologue writer for NBC's Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. He co-produced the Emmy-winning HBO documentary

The Zen Diaries of Gary Shandling and his new book The History of Stand-Up came out yesterday, March 15th, and is available everywhere you can buy a book. So, yeah, if you want to give us a little bit more background, Wayne, just on. Well, also, I do quite a bit of acting. I have a recurring role on Curb Your Enthusiasm, which is very show popular over here in the United States.

You probably don't know it. And then, but a lot I've done, you know, crashing and. Silicon Valley. Silicon Valley. I play my, I guess my, my favorite, one of my favorite things they ever did. I got to play Larry Sanders brother on the Larry Sanders show. I love that show. Yeah.

Jack's a big fan of the Larry Sanders show. Oh, yes. I didn't know that. You can't see Jack. He's in the shadows. Jack watches it on the regular. Like, he said to me yesterday, he goes, oh, there was an episode of Larry Shandling about it.

Yeah, yeah. That was a great show. Jack is Jim's assistant. He's in, like I said, he's on a mic. He says, you've met Wayne? Yeah, I know Wayne from USC. I gave him the USC comedy hat. Oh, my God. I do know that Wayne. Yeah, I know Wayne from USC. I gave him the USC comedy hat. Oh, my God.

I do know that guy. Yes, I do. That's your assistant? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man. I'm sorry. Sorry about that. Damn, he fits in well already.

He just comes in hot. He knows too much about me. Why did you give him a hat for, man? Was it like just like, I thought you might need this. I was the head of the USC comedy program, like the student section. So I was giving out USC comedy hats to like professors and everybody. So he was a professor at SC for standup. So I gave him. Can I say something about my professorship real quickly is that I,

I throw it around, but it's actually, I'm something called an adjunct professor, which is adjunct basically means not a professor. That's right. He's not a professor at USC. But did you have to study anything? Did you have to go to college? Oh, okay. So it's an honorary thing where you just.

It's not honorary. It's just, if you're an ex supposedly an expert in your field, they'll bring you in and let you teach. We're all kind of adjunct professors on this podcast. I think that I'm going to do rather badly on this subject because I know how to do stand-up, but the history of stand-up and all that type of

stuff, I'm very vague on. There was Lenny Bruce and he got in a lot of trouble. You can hear that voice trouble who was that character that was my intelligent man voice okay so here's what we're going to do I'm going to ask Jim everything he thinks he knows about stand up comedy and I'm going to prod him along with some questions so for about 5-10 minutes he's going to just let us know

see what he knows. And we'll come back and revisit those answers. And then at the end of that, Wayne, you're going to grade him zero through 10, 10 being the best on his accuracy. All right. Yeah, whatever. Be harsh. You sure I can't do an A through F?

Because that's what I'm used to. All right. I'll do an A through F. You do A through F. And then, Kelly, you'll grade him on confidence, A through F. And I'll grade him on et cetera, A through F. You do A through F. And then, Kelly, you grade them on confidence, A through F. And I'll grade them on et cetera, A through F. By the way, we can do minuses and pluses. So it's okay.

There's a lot of gray. A lot of gray. Okay. All right. So if you get an A minus two plus, R-O-T-F-L-O-A, whatever that thing is. If you get a C, L-O-L. I think you forgot the M. Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. I don't know. Okay LOL, or do you get an F? I think you forgot the M. Rolling on the floor

laughing my ass off. I don't know. Okay, you get it. Yeah. F's bad. Yeah, F's good.

F's good. A's good, F's bad. You got it. All right, I'm in. All right, Jim,

where did stand-up comedy originate? I believe that stand-up comedy is an American art form. Correct. He's already got an A. He's got an A. Yay! I believe, yeah, I believe it was from america and then and then um and then like england got it and then i think uh australia

got it maybe it was after 9-11 um but australia australia got it quite late 9-11 okay what was it more most likely called at the time, like besides stand-up comedy? See, before stand-up comedy, there would have been Vaudeville, which was like all the places where you got people like Abbott and Costello came from that type of a thing, and the Marx Brothers and all that type of stuff. And that was more, you know, from the silent movies to the slapstick to all that type of stuff. And was more um you know from the silent movies to the

slapstick to all that type of stuff and then i imagine there would have been a bloke who just told a few stories up there and that would have been the first sort of introduction to it and then they started putting these people on in between the strippers and stuff in strip clubs to uh sort of keep the men all sort of happy while the stripper was picking up their clothes off the floor. Nothing keeps a phone out like some comedy. What well-known author went on a comedy world tour with 22 North American shows? I would say that would be Mark Twain. Mark Twain would have, he would have rocked around going,

oh, when he does that thing, I'm half as happy as I was when I was happy as I am or something, you know those Mark Twain Ridley fucking comments that he says you just made a noise Wayne, are you okay? now I'm loving it, he's actually very intuitive about the whole

history, and now I feel like I just wasted my time don't worry, we all feel like we're wasting our time too. The Tonight Show is a launching pad for many careers. When did that start? Well, it's late at night, 10 p.m. Depending on the time zone, that might be correct. Mountain zone, yeah.

The Tonight Show, I think the Tonight Show in its – okay, so Johnny Carson wasn't the original. Johnny Carson was the second person, but he was the most famous person. I can't remember the person who was before Johnny Carson, and so I would – okay, so before that you had shows like Ed Sutherland who had the Beatles on. He used to have Lenny Bruce on the show. And then Lenny Bruce used to do shows like he used to do the live from the Playboy Mansion where they used to have him sort of sitting

in a corner and all that type of stuff. And I think The Tonight Show was after that. So the Beatles were on The Ed Sutherland Show in 1964. I'm going to say The Tonight Show started in 1970. Not bad. I like how you don't think you know anything, yet you keep talking and saying things that make sense to me. I don't know.

This is the idea of the podcast. Okay. Episode 45. It's what's called the concept. Okay. You know what? I'm going to ask you three or four more questions, then we're going to jump back the way we can jump back and forth,

because I think it would be good that way. When did the first comedy album win a grammy and whose was it uh i'm gonna say the first grammy okay it might be something like red fox or something like that who brought out a lot of albums or it could i i'm gonna go the first grammy was george carlin and it was the one class clown where he had like the duck's head on it. I think that had the seven words. I'm just taking a punt on that. That's just an educated guess, but there was probably something before that.

Okay. Bill Cosby probably won one or something like that. Comedy to make love by or whatever. Okay. What are Sick Nicks? Sick Nicks um Sick Nicks yeah I have no idea

I'm not even gonna make one up okay Sick Nicks that's not fun that's a guy called Nick with cancer a bunch of them

now it's funny a group of Nicks in 1961 Lenny Bruce was arrested for what? Public, it was for swearing, it was profanity basically, but I don't know if they could have arrested him for that. So I'm going to say public disturbance because they couldn't have,

because we still have the freedom of speech, so they couldn't have got him for that, but it would have been for something public disturbance. Okay. What was LA's first comedy club and what year did it open? I'm between the comedy store and the improv. I am going to say the improv was before the comedy store. And I just feel like,

cause you've got that picture of John Lennon in like the 1970s, sort of standing in front of the banner and all that type of stuff. So I just sort of feel like that was maybe a touch older than the company store, but I might be wrong. Okay. Let me ask you two more. And then you'll say, no, it was coca nuts on last year. I'm not sure.

I think I know what it is, but I think you're wrong, but I'm not sure. I might be wrong. This comedian hosted the inaugural broadcast of NBC's Saturday Night Live or Saturday Night in 1975. George Carling was the original first host of Saturday Night Live, and he thought maybe he was going to host it forever. And then, like, Andy Kaufman did it soon afterwards, but he wasn't the original host.

All right, and who was the first comic to sell at Madison Square Garden? To sell out Madison Square Garden, I'm going to say it's the Dice Man. I'm going to say Andrew Dice Clay was the first person to sell out Madison Square Garden. I feel like other people could have done it before him, but he was the only person to bother trying to figure out if you could. Okay. No one else had Little Miss Moffat sat on

a toffee joke. Yeah, yeah. Hey! In 1994, which comedian held the number one TV show, the number one movie, and the number one book all at once? Oh, that was John Belushi. What year was that? 1994. Oh, not 1994. No, no, no. Because I was thinking,

because at one stage, SNL and Animal House and all that was all the number one thing. So 1994. Show, movie, book. Show, movie, book. 1994 sounds an awful lot like it's going to be Jerry Seinfeld, and the show was Seinfeld. The stand-up special was.

I'm telling you for the last time. It was a movie, not a stand-up special. A movie. Oh, a movie. Okay, the book was Sign Language. Was his book Sign Language? And the movie, was that when he brought out that stupid B film?

No, that was in 94. All right. It's like 2005. So maybe it wasn't. Maybe it wasn't Seinfeld. Maybe it wasn't. Movie, movie, book, TV show. No, I'm going to stick with Seinfeld.

Maybe there was a movie I didn't know about. Okay. There's a question, what is the feature and headline? I'm'm going to stick with Seinfeld maybe there was a movie I didn't know about okay there's a question what is the feature and headline I'm not going to ask you that I think

you know what let's go let's talk to Wayne the movie Comedian oh yeah was it number one fine we'll find out

alright Wayne on those questions and anything else you want to say about stand-up comedy it's good thanks for all the money And those questions and anything else you want to say about stand-up comedy? It's good. Thanks for all the money.

How did Jim do? A through F? Well, out of the gate, he was phenomenal. Then it was like he pulled a hammy in the back part of the track. And he stumbled. And then he got up. And then he was running again. And then he fell on his face. And they crawled a little bit. I know. And then he urinated. And then he got up and then he was running again. And then he fell on his face and they crawled a little bit.

Oh, no. And then he urinated and then he got up and he kept going. Really fun to watch. I was running a marathon when I went, I run really fast. And then I just keep running fast. And he collapsed at 0.5 miles. So what's his grade? I'm going to give him a, I don't know, C plus.

I think he's above average. Slightly above average, I would say. Some of those things he nailed. Yeah. Absolutely nailed. I was definitely surprised. You were saying that you didn't know much, but you happen to know a lot. I would give you a B minus on confidence.

Okay. Okay. Okay. And for et cetera, I'm going to give them an A, and I'm going to move that to the middle, and it spells cab. All right. Great. Excellent. Amp Human is a human performance company dedicated to helping athletes

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If you're new to the revolution, join millions of Hello Tushy customers right now and have the clean butt with every flush. Go to hellotushy.com slash Jim to get 10% off plus free shipping. This is a special offer for our listeners. So go to HelloTushy.com slash Jim for 10% off. HelloTushy.com slash Jim. So stand-up comedy, where did it originate? It did start in the united did start in the united

states but that's kind of a trick question because no one knows exactly who the first stand-up comedian was so i i give him a pass on that anyway but did he knew that it started in the united states definitely i'll give him credit for that yeah there had to be somebody though right that they were like that i heard this guy telling jokes. There was a guy named Artemis Ward who used to do famous, funny lectures. And he's the guy that Mark Twain saw, which you got that question correct, by the way. The Mark Twain song was like, oh, people will pay money to watch a funny lecture. And then I don't know if you know this about Mark Twain. He he lost a lot of money

in a startup. Do you know about this? Yeah. He, he, he was kept, he felt like he was getting ripped off by the publishers for these books that were selling a lot. It was like, I think I could publish my own books and manufacture them. So he invested all this money into this printing press that when it worked, it was the best printing press in the world, but it didn't work a lot. So he loses his shirt and then it was like, all right, I'm going to go on tour and make a bunch of money and toured the whole world. It was insane how many countries he went to. And this is before obviously air travel and stuff.

So a lot of people think Artemis Ward might be the first standup, but there isn't like one guy because there were funny guys in minstrel shows and stuff like that. So, yeah. Jesus probably dropped a few gags in. Right? You don't have 12 friends

without being a little funny. You can't forget those followers without putting a few. Blessed are the meek. Let me tell you about the fucking meek. I was down the road the other day Blessed are the meek. Let me tell you about the fucking meek. I was down the road the other day chatting to the meek. You know what I mean? Like you heal a leper, you've got to have a funny tale about it. And the fucking cunt got up and started skipping around. Jeez.

Very Christ-like. So what was it more, more likely called at the time? Jim was saying vaudeville. And, and I mean, was there a name for standup comedy when it first started? Mark Twain.

Oh, the first thing. Oh, the first, what was it called? Yeah. They were called monologists. They were called standup.

So like comedy monologues. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. What he said is what happened. Like there was a bunch of crazy stuff happening in vaudeville and there

were a lot of comedy teams. And then all of a sudden a couple of people are like, let me just come out and talk to the audience. You know, in one, they used to call it, which means performing by yourself in front of the curtain. And that's what became a comedian.

When they were called monologists. When did the term raconteur come in? Is that a more modern thing? Raconteur? I don't know. I'm an adjunct. I'm an adjunct. Jesus Christ. I didn't know.

Oh, he turned the tables on me. We talked about Mark Twain. Okay. So the Tonight Show was a launching pad for many careers. When did that start? You said 10 p.m. Johnny Carson was the second host. 1970s when you said Tonight Show started.

Is that about right? Yeah, it started in 1954. He was not the second host. This is when it started to go bad. He was the third, and there was actually some other little ones in between. But of the main ones, it was Steve Allen started it then somebody named jack parr does that name at all mean anything to you no and then johnny carson took over october 1st 1962 oh 62 he took over wow yeah went from 62 to 92 30 years jesus that's oh I was miles out on that one.

That's a long time. No, no, no, that wasn't too bad. Eight years I was out and two hosts and two decades for the show. You're close. That's all right. I've always thought with Ed Sullivan, how did that fucker get a TV show? He seemed just like a hunchback guy there's like really big show and i was like you couldn't get someone better to host than that the guy was hopeless

now the weird thing is about that show that show started in 48 in june and it was like the sponsor that back then they had sponsors for shows so like sponsor was like, we're getting a better host, aren't we? This is not going to be the guy. Oh, really? And they hate it. But what happened is, guess what? It got popular. Mm-hmm.

And that's true. Yeah. Because there aren't a ton of options of things to watch. In 1948. This guy's on TV. This guy sucks, but we could watch The Wall instead.

Yeah, well, and the Johnny Carson thing too I remember because they always portrayed Ed McMahon as like a drunk but then I remember reading something

where it was like Johnny was the guy that would show up with a lot of drinks and then he'd like just try and say look at this drunk guy right here

meanwhile he was like hammered or something like that Johnny Carson gave up the booze he was just meant to be quite a mean drunk wasn't he

yeah yeah he got there. That's exactly right. Supposedly, he was not friendly when he got. By the way, the couple times I met you, someone was drinking, and it wasn't me between the two of them. But Jim's a friendly drunk. He was unbelievable.

He's extremely friendly. Knocks out his memory, though. But very friendly dude. Extremely friendly guy. When did the first comedy album win a Grammy and who was it? He said George Carlin, Class Clown. Well, George Carlin did win some Grammys, but no, it was in 1959 the album came out and it was called Inside Shelley Berman. Ooh.

Have you ever heard of that guy, Shelley Berman? No, no, no. Yeah. But I found a Grammy in a garage sale that had that name on it. And yeah, that was the first, that was the first standup to win. And the second one was Bob Newhart. You probably know that guy, right? I've, i've seen

bob newhart once in one of like one of those old sort of restaurants with booths that are very dark i didn't go up to him i was very excited isn't shelly berman the the larry david's dad yes yes yes he was he he's not his larry david's dad with the glasses and all that yeah that's it okay first grammy yeah that was yeah the very first one and the first of the modern stand-ups to sell out uh to play carnegie hall like he kind of opened that as a gig for comedians i i i once did carnegie hall uh tell me about it well it's it's it's very weird because i don't let you do anything there was one stage where I walked out there to do the sound check and all that type of stuff

and then I was like I want to move my I always have a chair on stage and so I'm like I'd like to move it over there and then they all went don't you touch that chair and I'm like what they go there's people who are paid who are in the union if you move their chair then they don't and I'm like

because it feels like all the staff there are fucking they've been given their jobs like they're fucking gondola drivers in fucking venice like my father worked here and everything like like like like so you weren't allowed to touch anything and then i was still i was still like sort of smoking then and all that type of stuff and i remember like going up to the the dressing room and like trying to crack open a window and it's like because i was in that famous picture of sinatra and sammy davis jr and dean martin where they're all got a cigarette they're all laughing and it says carnegie hall down the bottom those days are over no smoking no there's no nothing and it was like can i get a can i get

a beer up in my dressing room, please? And people were like ringing and checking people. And in the end, my management went off to a bottle shop for me to get a six-pack of beers. Like it was pretty strict. I'll tell you, Carnegie Hall, not a carefree place. And then when you start like with me just saying the word cunt over and over and over again, it's,

it felt wrong. Like the room was like, I felt like I shouldn't have been there. The audience felt like they shouldn't have been there. We were all like, this isn't right. We'd be happier at the beacon. I love it. But here's a quick a quick little trivia about, I don't know if it's for that, you're talking about the crazy level of union for the stagehands in New York. But I know that the Broadway stagehands,

their union local number is one. Right. That's correct. That's how old and powerful they are. We're local one. Wow. That's a little. Yeah, that old and powerful they are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're local one. Wow. That's a little. Yeah, I remember at some theater, the guy wouldn't bring the microphone.

Our microphone cord was broken. And he was telling Lisa to bring it out. And then I was like, I think that's illegal. You touch that cord. It was in New York City. I think if you touch that cord, like some shit will happen. Oh, no, no, no. I went to move the chair.

It was a fucking. That's hilarious. It was a thing the chair. It was a fucking... That's hilarious. It was a thing, man. It was a thing. It's funny that we're doing this episode because Jim does not know the topic. And at the very beginning, he talked about stopping stand-up.

Yeah, I'm planning on stopping stand-up in two years. No. Yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Are you planning on stopping stand-up comedy? Yeah. Or you're quitting? He's taking down the industry. I'm taking you all with me.-up comedy? Yeah. Or you're quitting? Yeah, he's taking down the industry.

I'm taking you all with me. No more jokes. I'm going to write an expose book full of lies and shit. He is literally stopping stand-up. I don't know. That's hilarious. What are sick nicks? No idea. That's hilarious. What are Sick Knicks? No idea.

Sick Knicks. A group of Knicks. This was partially a takedown of Lenny Bruce and Shelly Berman and those guys from 1959. There was an article in Time Magazine, and it called their brand of humor Sick Humor. So they called them the Sick Kns as in the Beatniks or something like that. And it was a very controversial article especially now looking back

because it's like you had no idea what was about to come down the line. There's going to be a guy at Carnegie Hall yelling, I'm trying to move a chair. Fucking asshole So fucking piece of shit Is going to be yelling cut

Yeah I'm a I'm a sicknick I got a different word for you now But uh yeah So in 1961 Lenny Bruce was arrested For Jim said profanity Public disturbance Well he

In a weird way, you're correct, because he's like, he was, it was for obscenity on stage, and he said the, am I allowed to say the word? I'm going to say cocksucker. Cocksucker was the word that got him arrested. Can you bleep that, please? We don't like profanity. Cocks fine, but cocksucker.

I was like, I don't know what word he's about to say. Oh, cocksucker, that's fine. Please don't say the N word. Please don't say the N word. Back then, that word was fine. That was fine. That was fine. You're going to stand innovation.

But here's the crazy thing. That was in San Francisco, which is like like that was kind of the point of it. Like there's a lot of that going on around here. And so we so that's that was his first arrest or and it was for obscenity on stage. And then he here's the crazy thing. He kept getting arrested in like the most liberal progressive cities, Chicago, L.A. and New York with the other three cities. He got arrested for using profanity. And they started to get the other three cities he got arrested in. Wow. For using profanity.

And they started to get the IDs. I know this little story. They started to get the IDs of people who were in the audience to see who was seeing this horrendous stand-up. And one of them was a very young George Carlin. And George Carlin actually went in the police wagon with him. I think there's a photo of it. Yeah, he got arrested and taken away. So they were doing like comedy contact tracing?

Like who has been exposed to cocksucker language. Yeah. That's basically what they were doing. How do we not have contract tracing now? But we did that. Yeah. We can't figure out what the virus. Yeah.

Wait. So he's absolutely right. That happened in Chicago. That's exactly what happened. Harlan was at a show. He got arrested at. So the really. But isn't that weird that someone could get arrested on?

I'm talking about. Yeah. No one complained. No one complained. No one went like, what's going on in here? It was like they just an adult establishment where people paid to get to buy a ticket, get in there. They were like, now I'm sorry, you can't do this.

Well, that's what they're going to do to Jim in China for him to perform in like Beijing. Oh, yeah. Like the entire set written to them and i cancelled i cancelled the show in china it's not i knew i knew i wouldn't make their requirement the second joke and you're like uh is there anybody i was i was done in i was done in uh in dubai I was in trouble because I was told that don't mention any of the shakes or something like that

I think I just mentioned the outfit it wasn't anything and they stopped the show? I was in a bit of trouble, people came and we had to talk our way out of it I remember in Thailand they were like do not make fun of the king Thailand don't mention the prince. The king.

You'll be in trouble. And now, don't say anything about Meghan Markle. It's happening all over the world. The thing with being arrested, though, I guess the cops were just standing in the back of the club. That's what Lenny Bruce was performing. They're like, well, we're just going to go to this club. I mean,

how would they know? Yeah, it yeah that first one is the weirdest because is you know it's in like the where free the free speech movement starts in the United States it's like right there so and here's the crazy thing when he gets arrested down here in Los Angeles, they had a Jewish cop go down there to translate the Yiddish words that he would say, because he would say schmuck and things like that. Like, oh, that means penis.

I know, I know, it sounds absurd, it sounds absurd, but after all, he was a sick neck, so we had to take care of him. We had this happen in Australia. It was much less of a small thing. In the 1980s, the early 1980s, we had a comedian called Rodney Rood, and every time he went up to Queensland,

he'd get arrested or something for obscenity or something. Oh, yeah, I remember you played some of that guy for me. Yeah, Rodney Rood. Rodney Rood, he's very offensive. If you listen, there's a lot of offensive jokes. But then he used to just go out there and go, all right, I've written a song for you all, I've written a song for you Queensland cops.

They get the prostitutes to gob all their knobs and they have all the cops standing at the back. And as a kid, we thought it was fucking gold. You get a Rodney Rood album and you listen to it and it was super racist and super whatever, but we thought it was excellent. Perfect for the kids. I gotta check that guy out. Is there a lawnmower going on?

Yeah. There's someone blowing leaves out the front of our studio. What was LA's first comedy club? What year did it open? You said the improv might be a touch older than the comedy store. Might be. Yeah. No, that was an interesting guess, but you,

it's the comedy store opened in 72. The improv didn't open till like 75, but the picture of John Lennon is from the improv in New York city. That was, that was where you... I always thought it was the Ice House was older, but it's not technically LA, right? It's not LA. No, it is LA, but that's more of a music club

that used comedians. This was strictly comedy clubs who were like, oh, we're going to have eight comedians or nine comedians on a Thursday night. We're going to do two shows on Friday. Yeah. Yes, definitely. There was a lot of rooms that used comedians on a Thursday night. We're going to do two shows on Friday. Like, yeah, I guess definitely there was a lot of, a lot of like rooms that use comedians before the comedy store.

I used to play the comedy store in London a lot. And it's owned by a guy called Don Ward and Don Ward. I think for a lot of my career, he got me into Montreal. He was the first comedy club in England to book me. And he really backed me when me when I first started out. And so I have a lot of love for this man. And Don, I think the story goes Don came out here on holiday and he saw the comedy store and he just came back. The name wasn't licensed in London.

He went, all right, fine. They're not affiliated, the Comedy Store London. The Comedy Store London is as popular as the Comedy Store here. Oh, yeah? Yeah. And so he came back. Now, before that, Don used to own strip clubs. Now, he nicked basically the name for the Comedy Store,

but he also came back with the first pole in Britain, the first stripper pole. What? Before that, they didn't have poles, right? He'd seen it in LA at the Body Shop or wherever he went to. They didn't have poles, right? He'd seen it in LA at the body shop or wherever he went to. They didn't have them. They used to just dance on stage and da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. But they didn't spin around a pole.

This was a foreign idea. You can't think back in time before poles. You can't. It doesn't even seem real, does it? Anyway, he goes, so I bought this stripper pole. I got it and I brought it all the way back with me. This is in the 70s. He brought it all the way back to England and he goes,

I put it up on the show, on the stage. And he goes, and all the strippers looked at me like I was fucking mental. And he goes, you had to sort of, he goes, I had to show them. Because he goes, you sort of grind up against it and you spin around. I like that. Usually we're stealing stuff from England. He just came over here

and stole everything. I think he just came on holiday and said, oh, this is good, that's good. It's the same as food or whatever. There's a comedy store in Australia too, but it's the same thing. The comedy store in Australia's got nothing to do. They only register the name within the country. Maybe you're only allowed to do that and not a worldwide brand or something like that.

But the comedy store in Australia isn't affiliated with either of them either. Yeah. All right. Here's a question I didn't ask you. How old was Freddie Prinze when he made his debut on The Tonight Show? I'm going to say 17. It's pretty close. It's 19. I will give him credit for that.

Might have just moved up to a B+. He was still wrong by three years. Two years. I'll give him credit for that. And I'm also good friends with his son. You hang out with him like every week. I was over at Freddie's house on Monday.

So 19, do I remember that? 19, I remember that when I dropped that in conversation. I'll do that with Freddie next time. So he was 19 when he was on there. But I know he died very young. So the only reason I said 17 is because how did he have such a big career in just that short amount of time he was like on that TV show

that like propelled him into fame but he also had residencies the most insane story I heard is when he tried to kill John Travolta I mean that was an unreal story but it's like how do you get that all done in two years

when you're young you have a lot of energy. That's the thing. Oh man, I'm slow with my career. I was always like this in my career. As long as I do one festival or one TV spot a year, then that year's been successful. And then if I did a spot on a late night show or something like that, then I took my foot off the pedal. Ah, that's this year done. I'm less motivated than my success. Yeah.

Yeah, I get that. This comedian hosted the inaugural broadcast of NBC Saturday Night in 1975. He said George Carlin. Of course. You nailed that. Nailed it. I didn't know that at all. So when did George Carlin, because he was a radio guy, right?

And then when did he get, I mean, if he's hosting Saturday Night Live, then at that point, when did he like, what year did he become famous, I would say? Well, he's had like, and I'm working on a documentary right now about his life. And this is what he had. Like he sort of had a convert, a change in the middle of his career. So he started out, he was famous in the sixties.

I mean, he was, he was on all those talk shows. He was doing, you know, on variety shows. And then, uh, he started doing, uh, LSD and he realized, oh, I'm entertaining the parents of the people I want to be entertaining. So that's when he grew his hair out. Like I remember Jim said something about Class Clown, like he had all of those albums came out. And then all of a sudden that's when he was hosting SNL during his hippie, hippie era.

Yeah. I want to entertain really, really old people, like people like in their nineties and shit. I want to actually say I've killed. You got to start taking cholesterol medication. But you certainly have had somebody in your audience, like have a heart attack or something.

I've had some heart attacks. I've had a couple of heart attacks. I've had an epileptic fit. I've had a couple of those, but one time I was on stage and there was a bloke like I was at the Edinburgh Festival, so you have to do like one hour and you have to be out of the room after the hour because the next comic comes in for their hour and all that type of stuff, right?

And so I'm on stage and every time I did a joke, all I hear in the darkness of the audience is, and I was like, what? And then I think of it. And I thought maybe it was a challenged person. And I said, is everything okay over there like that? And then his mate just went, is something wrong with him? It turned out that this guy was having his first epileptic fit.

He'd never had one. He was 50, first time he ever had it. He started fitting and convulsing and all that type of stuff, and that was just it starting. And so they had to – the funny bit's coming. So they had to carry him out of the room and carry him into the car. And then I'm like, do I still keep making jokes? I had like fucking 30 minutes left.

I've got to continue with the show somehow, you know what I mean? So I continue on with the show. The guy had gone off and got in the ambulance. Then his mate walks back in. Well, So I continue on with the show. The guy had gone off, got in the ambulance. Then his mate walks back in. Well, he paid good money for the show. His mate didn't go to the hospital with him. He came in to watch the end of the set. Hospitals are boring.

It'll be fine. It'll be fine. That guy's dead. No, I'm just saying the scariest part of that story is his first epileptic fit at 50. Yeah. That's what, that's what scared the fuck out of me as well. I'm like, Oh, something else to look forward to. Don't go to Jim Jeffrey shows and you'll be fine.

Good thing you'll be retired already. If that guy's listening, I hope you're okay, mate. I hope you don't have them all the time. But yeah, that was, that was, and then I have, I've had the heart attacks. Yeah. When people, some people killed over. Wait, somebody died at a show you were at wing or um i i was actually had gone on but kevin neal and went on after me and the guy had a heart attack during his set he was doing better

than i was the guy was like this that's the bloke from the Chippendale sketch. Oh, man. Yeah. I've never, no one's ever, yeah, I guess I'm not a good comic. There'll be a heart attack at one of your shows. It'll be you. Oh, yeah. What's the name of that comedian that died on stage?

Oh, Tommy Cooper. Do you know that one? Yes, of course. You've seen that? Tommy Cooper died on stage and they thought it was still part of the show and they keep laughing. Oh, yeah. You can watch it online. It was the Royal Gala performance.

It's terrible. And he plays a sort of shitty magician with these things. Very funny, Tommy Cooper. I think Monty Python said that he was the funniest person that ever lived. Well, a member of Monty Python said that. They didn't all say it in unison. If I may, do you know Albert Brooks? You know the filmmaker?

Of course, yeah, I know Albert Brooks. Yeah, his dad was a comedian back in, he was a dialect comedian, would play like this Greek character, but then became like a stand-up. He was at a Friars Club roast for Lucille Ball. He did his set, sat down, slumped over, dead. Yeah. With the applause still ringing in his ear.

That's why I want to stop doing stand-up comedy. I don't know. That's not what I want. Wait, that's kind of a good way to go out. Like you go on stage, do really well, and then die during the applause break. Then you shit yourself in front of everybody and whatever else happens. Yeah, and then also people want refunds.

I think Bob Einstein is Albert Brooks' brother, so that was Bob Einstein's dad. He was saying like, oh, your dad died doing what he loved. He's like, no, he didn't.

And he just goes on a tirade like, he didn't die doing what he loved. You're going to tell your wife or whatever, oh, she died doing what she loved doing laundry. No, fuck you.

He's fucking dead in front of all these people. Wow, Jack really brought the mood down. It's a funny rant from him. I don't know what he said. Have a fun time here. Look it up. No, I don't want to die a slow, painful death where people come to visit me and stuff.

Who was the first comic to sell at Madison Square Garden? Andrew Dice Clay, Jim said. Is that correct? 100% correct. 1990. Oh, shit. 100% correct. I was shocked that you got that one.

I think I did better than a fucking C+. I'll tell you that for nothing. Yeah, B-. I know. You're a B- now. B-. Yeah. That was awesome.

That was, yeah. 1990. You're just a bab. Probably Steve Martin could have done it before then, but never played it. Yeah. And he did it, Androdex played it multiple times in a row, right?

He did. He sold out two nights in a row there in February 1990. I sold out the smaller room, which is like, I don't know, 4,000 seats or something like that. Billy Joel was in the next room. Yeah, Billy Joel was in the other room, right? It was just the overflow crowd. Couldn't get into Billy Joel.

Yeah, yeah. There was one just yelling the whole time, do the piano, man. And we actually finished our gig because we started early. We finished our gig in time to see Billy Joel's encore, which is all you need to see of Billy Joel. He does Uptown Girl. He does Piano Man.

You go home. You've seen the whole thing, right? But I remember, like, people going, oh, I just sold out Madison Square Garden. Small room. But people were really, like, disappointed. Like, oh, you only did. It was maybe 5,000. It was a big ass fucking room.

It's massive. But I remember like that was another point in my career where I was like, Madison Square Garden. And they had a fucking bowl of cheese puffs in a paper bowl. That was my ride. I was a bowl of cheese puffs and a fucking beer was sitting there. And I was like yeah you're right sinatra i made it here i can make it anyway again just overflow snacks from

billy joel's screen room um and then since then some people have sold out madison square got right dang cook did it but the gig that we did at madison square garden uh what's his name perry from aerosmith uh steveerosmith Steve Perry is it Steve Perry there's Joe Perry but he's not an Aerosmith so Steve Perry Joe Perry is the guitar player Joe Perry yeah Joe Perry came on and played

guitar this all is coming back together he came on and played guitar with Billy Joel and then we were walking down the hallway going look now let's go to Billy Joel, and then we were walking down the hallway going, look, let's go to Billy Joel's encore. Joe Perry had like a heart attack or something, and the ambulance showed up and stretched him out past us,

and we were like, oh, some fan. We didn't know it was him. And then the next day it was on the news that Joe Perry had this heart attack at the Billy Joel gig, and that's how. And he died, Joe Perry? No, he lived through it. He might have been something else. He might have had a stroke, but he had something where the ambulance had to fucking come, right? He might have just fainted. Who fucking knows, right? But it was like a news

thing that that happened in the same thing and we walked right past the stretcher. You should just tell the story that he had a heart attack at your show. We walked past the stretcher like, uptown girl! In 1994, which comedian held the number one TV show, number one movie, and number one book all at once? Jerry Seinfeld was Jim's answer.

No, no, because he didn't have a number one movie at that time. It's actually Tim Allen. Tim Allen. Tim Allen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. He had the Santa Claus. Do you remember that movie?

Yeah, the Santa Claus Home Improvement. Yeah, Home Improvement. And in that book, I don't know the name of it. The book was How to Traffic Cocaine. For dummies. How to sell cocaine and still be on Disney. Wow, yeah. You know what? Yeah. How to sell cocaine and still be on Disney. Wow. Yeah.

I was trying. You know what? I was pretty sure it wasn't Seinfeld, but I couldn't think of who it was. I was like, oh, Tim Allen. Yeah. Yeah. Seinfeld wasn't a bad guess, but it wasn't a good guess because it was the wrong one. No, it definitely could have gotten, yeah, for sure, number one show.

Here's one question I didn't ask you. Which comic started their podcast in 2009? That's way back when. Mark Maron. Good job. I think that's right. Nice job. Jeez, you're going, you're already in the Bs.

Should have asked you that when you were getting a better grade and stuff. Yeah. Why do, why you? Yeah. Mark Maron did that. Yeah. Yeah. He's still going.

Still going. Still trucking. Still one of the top 20 podcasts, right? Oh, definitely. Definitely. Might be hard. Top 10. Yeah, I would think so.

This is a list. Did you put this here, Kelly? Yeah. Might be hard. Top 10. Yeah, I would think so. This is a list. Did you put this here, Kelly? The world's highest paid comedians? I was just going to see if maybe how many you could guess. This is in 2019. I don't know if it's been, I guess 2020 wasn't very good. Yeah, that's why I picked 2019. I was one of the top paid comedians in 2020.

I can go top paid comedian. Jerry Seinfeld, number one. Number one, not Jerry Seinfeld. Kevin Hart. Yeah. Then Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah. Number three, not Jerry Seinfeld. Kevin Hart? Yeah. Then Jerry Seinfeld? Yeah. Number three, Dave Chappelle?

No. He's not even in the top ten. He's not in the top ten. He should be. He had a really big deal with the old net. Chris Rock? No, your manager would be happy about this one. Oh, Jim Gaffigan?

No. He's like, oh, Jim, that's cute. Yeah, because that's funny, because my manager manages me and Jim Gaffigan? God, Jim, that's cute. Yeah, because that's funny because my manager manages me and Jim Gaffigan. And I know that he goes into the office like this, Jim's on the phone? And he's like, which Jim? Jeffrey's. You're like the redheaded step Jim.

Yeah, yeah, which is ironic next to Jim Gaffigan. Jim Gaffigan. Jim Gaffigan. Have you guys done shows together? Like that might be a fun night. Like a crossbreed of YouTube fan bases. Yeah, we could do that. We're called Pop Tarts and Cocks. Docking Pop Tarts.

Hot Pockets and Cunts. Pocket Cunts. docking pop pockets and cunts pocket cuts the gym show yeah gym show's more wholesome this next person also had a show

on comedy central that a lot more people watched than ours oh trevino yeah trevino very good

this next guy was with you we were seeing elton john and he was coming to see you to play the venue at World. Sebastian Maniscalco. This is all your whole life right here. This guy loves you. You're one of his top three favorite comedians. Number six.

Gabriel Iglesias. Yeah, these are all your friends. Yeah. Number seven. No, you're friends with her. This is way too- That's a woman. Our first woman on the list.

Sarah Silverman. No. I'm friends with her? Yeah, well, you know her. You're friends with her this is way that's a woman first woman on the list Sarah Silverman no I'm friends with her yeah well you know are you friends with her she's a fan of yours I get along with her blonde

yeah blonde Nikki Glaser the one who's in movies and makes a lot of money oh Schumer Schumer Schumer

okay and then number eight you always do this theater you do his theater in Las Vegas I do his theater in Las Vegas. I do his theater, and I was like, oh, Terry Fader? Yeah, yeah. Wow, and then this guy might be upset that Terry Fader's number eight,

and he's number nine. Oh, what's his name? Dunham. Dunham, yeah. And then Aziz is number 10. I reckon I lock in at about 42 or something. Make these lists longer. It's amazing there's two ventriloquists on that list. Yeah. Yeah.

I tell you, I have a thing for ventriloquists. I like them. I like them. What's not to like? Probably the puppets. I worked with a ventriloquist a long time ago in Florida, and when you're a ventriloquist and you're not on the highest earning list, like it can be kind of sad. Because his ventriloquist and his truck were both held together with like duct tape.

And you could see the duct tape. And then it was just, it just was like a sad act. And it was like, it wasn't like upbeat. You got to be upbeat when you're a ventriloquist. You can't be like down. Unless you're, what was this, Otto and George. And that's like your shtick when you're like this kind of dirty. It's kind of like being a magician.

It's not cool unless you're very famous. Like most people don't admit to being into magic. You go to the magic castle and see what they've booked in that room that has 150 people. And they brought their props along. And their wife is their assistant. And their wife is like 60. They're 60. and she probably was super hot in a day as the assistant and she thought he was going somewhere and they met on a cruise ship when he she was a dancer and he was like doing fucking close hand magic and it's like oh my god and the props are like tattered

i always skip those shows i only do the close-up magic shows. The big illusion shows are terrible. The big illusion shows. There's sweat stains on the tuxedo. Oh, it's sad. The magic gets very sad. Yeah, the magic can get very sad. But if it's good, the close-up magic. The close-up magic is phenomenal.

It's ridiculous. Magic Castle is like my favorite place in the world. Blows my mind. Yeah. And I always see a magic show in Vegas. I always go see a magic show. I do my mind. Yeah. And I always see a magic show in Vegas. I always go see a magic show. I do my weekend and then I see – I saw Shin Lin was one of the last ones. Shin Lin, he's unbelievable. From America's Scott Tower.

Yeah, unbelievable. Shin Lin. Blue Man Group. Blue Man Group, I don't like. Is that magic? We don't like the Blue Man Group. My son fell asleep in the Blue Man Group. He was covered in streamers and all this type of stuff,

and they were blowing cannons, and he passed out. My brother was reading a Stephen Hawking book at a Guns N' Roses concert in Vegas. Now, isn't he like a scientist, though? Yeah, he just got a million dollars for a startup, so he's fine. Perfect. So, Wayne, you also have a podcast,

The History of Stand-Up 2. Is that still going, or is that? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not in the top 20 either. Not in the top 20. Okay. It doesn't mean people shouldn't listen to it. So between the podcast and then the new book is called The History of Stand-Up from Mark Twain to Dave Chappelle.

And that is out now, so you should buy that. Is there other, like, well, we have this segment. Let's do this segment, The Dinner Party Facts. From Mark Twain to Dave Chappelle. Yeah, that's in the title of the book. You're in the book. You're in the book, Jim. Am I? Yeah, of course. You gotta buy the book.

Oh, wow. Are you nice about that? Yeah, there's a whole cunt I should do it alphabetically, unfortunately. a whole cunt. I should do it alphabetically, unfortunately. Not at the top. So we have this segment of our show called Dinner Party Facts,

where like our guest gives our listeners, viewers, like some sort of interesting or obscure fact that they can, or it can be multiple ones too, if you have more than one, to, you know, impress people if the subject ever comes up at some sort of function or something. So do you have anything for us for that? Me? Yes, I do. But this is very tricky. So I'm going to do my best. I hope I don't get us all canceled, but this is something I just learned. This is just something I learned.

This is, I learned it during Black History Month, which was last month. And that is of the 12 million slaves that were brought out of Africa and brought to the New World. I can already tell this is going to be very funny. It's just a fact.

It's just a fact. Is Mark Twain coming back into this? Suddenly how many came to the United States? It's just a fact. Is Mark Twain coming back into this? Suddenly How many came to the United States of the 12 million? Wait, does this have to do with comedy? No, it's just something he's

passionate about. Out of the 12 million slaves, I'm going to say 3 million? Is everyone else going to guess? All 12 million. All 12? That's like Price is Right. Some of them went to Holland.

Some of them went to Britain. I'm going to go 6. Million or 6? 6 million. I'm going to go 6. 380,000. I don't know if you know what to do with that fact. Okay. I'm going to go six. 380,000. Well, so you... I don't know if you know what to do with that fact.

I literally thought it was going to be like half of them. I thought it was going to be half and the rest went to like Brazil or something like that. Okay. Well, the dinner party facts, we usually keep it on the same topic. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that.

Sorry. I was't know that. Sorry. I was so intrigued, though. Because I'm like, how is this going to relate to comedy? Anyway. By the way, this is why I don't get invited to dinner. And out of those 390,000,

there was four stand-up comedians. That's going to be... I swear to God. Well, something from your book. I'll give you something crazy stand-up comedy fact In 1978 when David Letterman did his first set on the Tonight Show he was guest hosting the show

a little over two months later Oh really? It's pretty crazy. Yeah. Pretty crazy. So wait, so he did this set and then he liked him so much. He was like, come back and host. Well, Carson.

Yeah. Well, I don't forget. I mean, Carson loved Letterman because they were both like Midwest comedians. Like they're both ones from Indiana. He's from Nebraska. So it was like he just loved him right out of the gate. And that was like the same thing with Letterman and Gaffigan. You're just talking about because Letterman was

a huge fan of Gaffigan. Same thing like Midwest Indiana. I know that he had him on the show. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I do think he I mean, he liked it a lot. I mean, you know, of course. Did Carson ever have any stand up specials like records or anything? Nope. I mean, they

did. They put out an album of just like audio tracks off the, first of all, I'm shaking that I made that mistake with the dinner party thing. Oh no. Honestly, it's going to, it's going to go down in history as the best one we've ever had. I literally thought it had nothing to do with.

Oh my God. I'm an idiot. Give us another one. Give us another one from the book. No, no, no. That's all the Black History stuff. No, no. I meant another one from the book.

I started laughing so hard. He's like, so I learned this during Black History Month. I'm like, where are we going? You got anything on the Holocaust? The train is leaving. Am I good at this? If a train is leaving Auschw good at this if a train is leaving Auschwitz that's UVA so no that's my fact

that is very impressive that is very impressive that's the one that everyone will remember alright well the book is called The History of Stand Up I saw literally just so you know this was pitched to me All right. Well, the book is called the history of standup. I saw literally, okay. Just so you know, this was pitched to me. This was pitched. Like we're having a dinner conversation after the podcast. We're all going to have fun facts.

That's all it was. I guess we could have made it more clear on the call yesterday. I guess we could have made it more clear on the call yesterday. $380,000. I'm looking forward to your dinner. This is a lovely meal. February's just passed. Oh, no, what did you learn this time?

Hey, Leroy, you might lock this. Yeah, boy. Oh, fuck. Can you pass the potatoes, please? I have an incredible story. Oh, fuck. Oh, the worst. The worst.

All right, well, I guess the book is called The History of Stand-Up. It came out yesterday. It's available everywhere, I'm assuming, right? I keep saying that, but it's from Mark Twain to Dave Chappelle. It came out yesterday. Well, it came out yesterday when this podcast comes up. Oh, okay. Excellent.

Yeah, which is in like four days. March 15th. March 15th. And yeah, and if you like comedy, which I'm assuming you do, cause you listen to this podcast by the book and you can learn even more than the stuff we talked about today. And where do we find you on social media? Wayne?

Just at Fetterman on Twitter. It's kind of perfect. F E D E R M A N. That's Fetterman. So, and the podcast history of standupUp, listen to that and then any closing thoughts Jim or anything else you want to say?

No, just thank you for being on the podcast I learned a lot about black history I'm looking forward to reading the book man, I actually want to learn some stuff because I was very fearful, I knew this podcast was going to happen one day and I was like, oh God.

The only one that I'm more fearful of than this podcast is Australian history. Oh, the topic. When you guys do Australian history and I have to go, oh, fuck. Yeah, well

I think you know more than you think. Alright. Perfect. Well, thank you so much for joining us, Wayne. Yeah, well, I think you know more than you think. So, all right. Perfect. Well, thank you so much for joining us, Wayne. That was awesome. Oh, my God, I love it. Yeah, thank you so much. And sorry I ruined the party.

Ladies and gentlemen, you ever had a party and someone comes up to you and they go, the late night shows, they all started in the 70s. Go, well, I don't know about that, and then walk away. Thank you very much. Good night, Australia. Bye-bye. The holidays aren't sleigh bells and mistletoe. They're also airports, shopping malls, and dining tables crowded with people,

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