I Don't Know About That - Steroids & Major League Baseball with Billy Corben

Episode Date: May 12, 2020

In this episode, the team covers steroids and Major League Baseball with the help of Billy Corben. Thanks to our sponsors Manscaped (offer code IDontKnow) and Raycon (www.buyraycon.com/IDontKnow). Check out Billy Corben’s website: www.cocainecowboys.com Check out Billy Corben’s documentary 'Screwball' on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81047680 Follow Billy Corben on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/billycorben/?hl=en Follow I Don’t Know About That on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/idkatpodcast/?hl=en Follow Us: Jim Jefferies Website: www.jimjefferies.com Jim Jefferies Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies/?hl=en Jim Jefferies Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies/ Jim Jefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor Forrest Shaw Website: www.forrestshaw.net Forrest Shaw Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrestshaw/ Forrest Shaw Twitter: https://twitter.com/forrestshaw   Kelly Blackheart Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellyblackheart/   Jack Hackett Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Jack_hackett/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bees. Forrest Shaw. And Kelly Zabinski. Why do you mention bees? Because that could be a topic. That could be a topic that one of the episodes... Do you know about bees? Do you?

I have a bee tattoo. Do you really? Do you have it on your knees so you're the bees' knees? I don't. Where do you have it? My arm. Do you have any on your, like you're the bee's knees? I don't. Where do you have it? My arm. Do you have any on your parts of the body that we've never seen of you? Yeah.

Do you have one on your ass? No. I have a tramp stamp. Nobody has one on their ass. Yeah, people have them on their ass. On their ass, yeah, yeah. Stupid. Like a kissing tattoo, like lips or something is very popular.

Bad spot. Someone's name on their ass. Yeah. Bad spot. Two W's, their ass. Yeah. Yeah. Bad spot. Two W's, one on each cheek. So when you bend over, it says wow. Or you do two M's and when you bend over, it says mom.

Yes. Yeah. Because mom is just wow upside down. So if it's where we don't see it and you've got the tram stamp and it's not the ass, so you have something around the vaginal area? No. I mean, there are lots of parts of my body you can't see it, and you've got the tram stamp, and it's not the ass, so you have something around the vaginal area? No, I mean, there are lots of parts of my body you can't see right now. But there's parts where I've seen most of you.

Have you? Well, I've been around you. Was I sleeping? No, but I've been around you. Do we have HR? I assume you wear shorts, and I've seen you wear a tank top and stuff. I've seen enough. Yeah, my arms are mostly covered, and then my sides.

Oh, there you go. The things you learn. Yep. I didn't know about that. So this show is about the things you know and the things you don't know. It's called I Don't Know About That. And it's because each episode we're going to have a specialist on who specializes in a particular subject.

Not all subjects because that would be ridiculous. And I'm going to be told what the specialist does. You're not going to be told uh what the specialist does and then you're not going to be told what they do no you're going to be told what their speciality is i'm not yet you're going to try and guess it and then i'm going to tell you all the information that i know on that topic and forest is going to mark me how are you going to do that first well the three of us are going to mark you they are our guest is gonna is going to give you a grade from 1 through 10, 10 being the best on accuracy of your information. Kelly is going to give you a grade 1 through 10 on believability.

Confidence. Confidence. I don't even know what's going on. Confidence. And I'm going to do believability, and then we'll add that all up, and we'll see where you land on our I don't know about that thing. But any tour dates you need to announce? No, there's nothing.

The world's over. This is the time to do it it i don't know if i have a tv show i don't know what's going on all i know is about this podcast and this is happening we do have an instagram account on the podcast um so please follow that it's idkat for i don't know about that. IDKAT podcast on IG. DM us with any topic suggestions that you have. That's all we have for announcements. There's not a lot of announcements in a pandemic. Not a lot of announcements in a pandemic. Stay indoors.

I feel like there's been a fucking announcement every day. I think you found your bumper bar sticker idea. Not a lot of announcements in a pandemic. I've stopped watching the news. Has the curve gone down? Have we flattened? sticker idea. Not a lot of announcements in a pandemic. I've stopped watching the news. Has the curve gone down? Has it flattened? No idea. I hear that Texas is reopening.

Elon Musk tweeted out that he's like, open up America. Yeah, he's had it. Don't do that, Elon. You're a genius and people are going to listen to you. Yeah. And who here is going to miss quarantine? Me.

A little bit. I'm going to miss quarantine me a little bit i'm gonna need i'm gonna need 10 days notice to get back in the swing of things sure you can't go we're opening up tomorrow i'm not ready i'm not ready you gotta ease me into it imagine getting the call that you have to go back to your nine to five or something you'd be like oh fuck this like it'd be horrible yeah because there's the good things the restaurants the bars the sporting things opening up and then there's the good things, the restaurants, the bars, the sporting things opening up, and then there's the bad things, everything else. Yeah. Yeah, it's, looks like it's going to,

the thing is none of the states are in agreement, so it's kind of just happening. So we now live in the un-United States of America. Boom. Nice. Mic drop. Take that, America. Okay, let's introduce our guest for today you see him on

the tv screen to your right he's not in studio of course uh his name is billy corbin billy corbin from the smashing pumpkins yeah yeah yeah that's who it is so i'm gonna say that your specialty is the smashing pumpkins he grew some hair yeah um i'm sure he's never gotten that comment before either so we'll edit that out uh but i used to go to school with a guy called michael jackson yeah well there's a lot of michael jackson's yeah but he was my age his parents already knew about michael jackson was he black michael jackson had been fat no it was australia what are you talking about it was australia in the 1980s like come on now anyway no his name was michael jackson don't you think that's weird you don't you mean it was a big coincidence that they

named him one of the most popular yeah it's like it's one thing to go okay so so the name adolf hitler was already right you know everyone was called out off now no one's called out off because he yeah but that's different than michael jackson in the 80s it was like it wasn't out of hitler was bad that calls him michael and tom that's it all right let's get to our guest i don't know about that so um so you got his name billy corbin now this is a game we play billy uh called judging a book by its cover uh it's a game that we play in real life we look at people and decide whether we'd be friends with them just based on their looks. Or, you know, like Jim says, the other one that you...

I'm sure you've played this, whether you'd sleep with somebody or not. Would you fuck a person or not? Yeah, yeah. Billy, you've got a solid yes. So Jim's going to ask you some yes or no questions, and then he has to guess and see if he knows what. All right. I'm looking...

Are you a scientist? I'm... No. No, you're not a scientist. Have you written books? No. All right. Fuck.

He's the same as me. I'm not a scientist and I've never written a book. We're like one. Have you read a book? No, not many. Not many. People always go to me, have you read this book? I go, unless it's Chevy Chase's biography,

the answer is no. Do you have hemorrhoids, Billy? Not yet. We're very different people. Alright, so you're not a scientist. You haven't written a book. Do you give lectures? Not for a living. Not for a living. all right so you just annoy folks at parties we've been giving you we've been giving you three questions up to this

one we'll give you we'll give you five today okay okay uh do you wear a suit to work no oh okay um that was a terrible question why how's that gonna help you Because I could find out if he was a business guy. I know, but you only have two left. Okay, you got to learn how to play this game. He's a business guy. He's not a scientist. He's not a business guy. He hasn't written a book.

He doesn't really officially give lectures. Okay, here you go. That's because... You got one more question. He's in a Beatles tribute band. He's an expert in the cover songs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Close, very close.

I have no, okay. You- One more. You work with boats? No. No, all right. What if we give him a clue? Part of what he does is something you're really into.

That's his main profession, but he's not talking about that today but he's talking about something specifically that he's done in that profession that you're really into you make philly cheesesteaks that's it welcome but he's talking about chicken philly it's very specific all right you're you work in porn no jesus okay they're my only two interests if it's not porn Okay let me introduce Billy Corbin is a He makes documentaries I love documentaries

They're like my favorite things Specifically he is here to talk to us about Steroids and steroids and baseball From his documentary Screwball on Netflix I don't know if you've seen that yet Billy Corbin. Thanks. Welcome to the show. How are you doing?

Documentarian. Do you like to be called documentarian? I do. I really appreciate that. Yeah, okay. All right. Documentarian Billy Corbin of the Smashing Pumpkins. Maybe you've seen some of his other documentaries, though. Have you seen Cocaine Cowboys?

I have not seen Cocaine Cowboys. Oh, I saw that. That's a really good one. I've seen some of his other documentaries, though. Have you seen Cocaine Cowboys? I have not seen Cocaine Cowboys. Oh, I saw that. That's a really good one. I've seen Cowboys on cocaine in real life. He did a couple of 30 for 30s, Broke. Oh, Broke. I love Broke. Broke's the one where they all sit around going,

yeah, I should have bought that car wash. Every five seconds. Yeah, I invested in tomatoes because uh you know there's tomatoes and ketchup that's that's a that's a good documentary that one that one you don't even need footage you just interview people they just sit there just going yeah all my friends will be standing around my car on payday yeah yeah that's a good one so um so yeah so so you like documentaries you like you love baseball i love baseball and so that's what we're talking about today steroids specifically steroids and baseball um but steroids in general as well

too and uh so welcome to the show sorry jim tell us right now everything that you think you know not just about steroids like what they are how, how they work, stuff like that, but also how it relates to baseball and anything you know about steroids and baseball. We'll give you about- Human growth steroids, right, which is probably the most popular of all the steroids. These are performance enhancing drugs

that are different to the other drugs that I've taken through my life, which don't enhance your performance in any way. At all? They're actually hindrance to what you have to be doing performance hindrance and why are they still banned i've never understood that why why can't you smoke weed and then go out and play baseball because it's not helping you cocaine makes your chest your heart feel like it's going to fall out of your chest

and you know you're not you should be able to play sport on that surely uh but performance enhancing drugs so let's say human growth hormones they're not for humans they come from uh cattle which they they pump into sheep and stuff like that i've seen a little vial of it before and it says for livestock and so they use that onto mostly sheep and chickens and and cows to make them bigger and then you've got other drugs that you put in animals that we put in, like ketamine is a horse tranquilizer. So that one wouldn't be good for sport.

That would be, that would be, that's also another animal one that's crossed over. That's the only reason I brought that up. Yeah, it's fun. Now the first people to start taking drugs of steroids. God. So Arnold Schwarzenegger was doing it in the 1970s what about in sports where do you think that started how far back well i i i'm thinking about it i would say

i would say in the 1960s was when it was when it really came into sports was when people started going you know that's when all the linebackers and stuff like that started to get massive and now many of those players from the 70s so so I imagine it started before, so late 60s, early 70s. So a lot of those guys from the 70s have started dying from it sort of more recently now from their overuse of steroids or they started to die in the 90s from it. In baseball, it really took off, the steroids really took off around the Mark McGuire era

and that was the mid-90s. And he was having a home run record chase with another fella. I fucking forgot his name. But Mark McGuire, he pounded himself. And then Barry Bonds. Barry Bonds filled himself with steroids. It wasn't Barry Bonds, but yeah. We're going to rate you.

No, but this is a different thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure, sure. Barry Bonds is probably a stereotypical person. That's why he won't get in the Hall of Fame, because people say that he took too many steroids. And if you look at the old games that he used to play when he played for the Pirates before he went to San Francisco,

he was just like a normal-sized guy. And then one year he came back, and he was just fucking massive. Now, today I think that the drugs aren't as prolific as they were back then but i think that people are still taking them to a certain extent but now it's uh they they have better masking agents and also uh the steroids might not be for size anymore they might be for agility and stuff like that i don't know okay and what about major league baseball their stance on it major league League Baseball, they- Like how they handled the steroid situation.

And then we're going to grade you. They started testing everybody, and then they started giving suspensions. Like when I first started following baseball, Dee Gordon, I think, was suspended for three months or something like that. That's a funny one. He's huge.

He's such a tiny little fella. He's tiny if you don't know. He's a really slight fella. That's a funny one. Yeah. It's huge. He's such a tiny little fella. He's really slight fella. And he got done for taking him. I think, yeah, just suspensions and stuff like that. But I don't know if they, because I've just been watching that Michael Jordan documentary and they talk about where the Chicago Bulls were like all on cocaine in the 80s.

They were all like all coked up. And so obviously, and I've met athletes before who have taken drugs and I've even seen athletes take actual drugs. And so I don't know if, I think you get tested like maybe once or twice a year. I don't think it's very common. I think athletes are doing a lot of drugs and whether they're illegal or illegal or steroids or recreational. I, I, years ago, I, um, I don't know if he was on drugs,

but when I was gambling, I was at a nightclub in Miami Beach, Crowbar, and I saw David Wells, who was a pitcher for the New York Yankees, and he was pitching the next day against the Marlins, and he was hammered at like two in the morning. It was a noon game, so that means he had to be on the mound in 10 hours.

I called my bookie the next morning, and I put a shit ton of money on the Marlins, and David Wells went out and pitched like a two-hitter. And I was like, these fucking guys are like the beasts. You've got to put yourself back into when you were in your 20s. I know, but David Wells, he was a fat, out of shape. It doesn't matter. He went out there, and he just dealed.

I was like, all right, never do that again do that jordan used to get caught going to casinos until two in the morning and then the next day he'd score 40 points 45 or something like that all right so um billy you've been listening to jim's uh that's um let's let's uh okay also steroids for the most part are injected straight into your muscle into your ass cheek that's where they put them because i used to work with a bartender when i was when i was uh living in sydney when i was about 18 years old into your ass cheek you just pump the needle straight in the muscle you don't put it into your vein only in the ass the steroids well the the ass is the most forgiving if you've ever had had one of those antibiotics for chlamydia,

which I know you have, Forrest, right? I've talked about it. I didn't have it and I got it. I didn't have it either. I had an infected testicle from riding on a Peloton. Anyway. You don't see that in commercials. I had one of my balls.

We'll go on a deviation here. One of my testicles one day remember i was at work i just started hurting a little bit i remember that everyone remembers the testicle the entire office and then it started throbbing and throbbing and throbbing and then it swolled up like a fucking grapefruit like it was no good you talked about it on conan yeah well that was the thing i had to cancel conan because i couldn't physically sit down yeah i had i couldn't i would have no would have been all right to sit on the stage at conan but i couldn't have done the walk i was walking with a limp and just going oh right anyway that day some reporter wrote that the reason i didn't

go on conan was because i got drunk the night before i was too hung over to get on the screen fucking fuck you you cunt i remember that day and i was like where's jim and somebody just casually walked by like oh he's coming blood and i was like what why are you talking about this so casually yeah i was shooting blood out the end of me dick it wasn't it wasn't a good day and then they put an ultrasound on it like i was a pregnant woman on me scrotum and this testicle was just going boom boom boom boom it was like a fucking am i pregnant it was like it was like a heart was in my scrotum it was fucking bad man so they they inject the point of the story is they injected my ass with this needle

steroids there you go yeah they injected straight into the muscle where if you do a drug like heroin or something like that you inject it into your vein this is just pumped straight into the body and that okay and that's all we got so i'm gonna ask you one more question and i can see billy's trying about the bit to correct you one more question and I can see Billy's trying to correct you or not correct you or grade you at least. One more question. We're going to take a quick break and then we'll be back with Billy.

So do you know what the Mitchell report is? The Mitchell report was the report on steroid use in baseball. We're going to take a quick break and we'll be back with Billy Corbin. Okay, guys, if you want to smell my balls, do it tomorrow. Because I have all these products here from Manscaped. Make sure your balls are smooth while you or your partner are playing with them.

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It works perfectly. And I also have the Plow. It's like their regular razor. It's like all their products. I haven't used the ball cleaner yet though. I used to just use the clippers that I use on my face and several times several times i've nicked my testicles so you're saying this won't nick my testicles no it's the best i'm telling you it's an it's like magic this product i have got testicle perfume i don't think that's what it's called i have called on there ball deodorant okay just

ball deodorant what's the other one called uh It's called cologne. Okay. That's the cologne. Who has ever heard of such products? Hair and body wash. Where do they come up with these things? And foot deodorant. Yeah, I could use that. I could use that. Everything that smells on your body is going to smell better.

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couple other questions so billy corbin is with us uh the director and writer of screwball um on netflix so billy how do you feel j did on 1 through 10, 10 being the best, on accuracy, on his knowledge of steroids and baseball? Extraordinarily impressive. Hey! I honestly would... Everything he said was basically

on point, or at least had that veneer of truthiness, where he was accurate enough, or you could tell obviously knew his shit if not to a t so i i had to give him i'd give him eight and a half i'm gonna call my next special veneer of truthiness eight and a half yeah that was all right good score there i'm starting to feel like this podcast is gonna give jim just like unstoppable confidence this is this is like yeah we're we're gonna i mean we're gonna create a monster here we gotta start picking some topics that we know we're just gonna tank them i guess that's like but uh

but uh demise is coming soon so on um your believability right i'm confident i forget yeah every time yeah it's almost the same thing isn't it sort of okay yeah i would say uh he wasn't as like in your face about it today so i'm gonna go confidence was a nine that's still really good that's 17 and a half points so far uh um believability you were a lot better than that you know some of the other subjects we've done so um well i knew nothing about the last one i really bullshitted my way through yeah this says yeah but uh i'm gonna give you a seven this is pretty hard so that's 25.5 which puts you as a baby einstein all right i know that you said the baby einstein would be dumb yeah yeah he would yeah but talk till he was five well you're not

the baby einstein would just be like rolling around yeah well stupid hair. Yeah, well, that's you. I like that the baby still had the hair. Yeah, still had the hair. I always love when people have that picture of Einstein. There's certain photos of a picture of Einstein with his tongue sticking out. All right, that floats your boat. Or the picture of Johnny Cash giving the finger. That one boils my fucking blood.

Well, here's the thing. Billy said you were pretty accurate on a lot of stuff, but also there's a lot of stuff but also there's a lot of stuff that you don't know about um the subject so we're gonna get into that so billy uh welcome to the show you haven't spoken much yet but thanks for being here um i don't know where you want to start talking about like steroids in general or steroids of baseball if you want to talk about specifically some of the stuff in the documentary of screwball but you know as far as um like steroids and sports jim was talking about the first

athlete to ever use steroids in the 60s is that correct or is that do you know when the first no i mean it's a lot earlier than that but then there's also the difference between uh anabolic steroids and what jim was talking about which is hgh which is a much more contemporary uh version of their hgh is actually not a steroid but all of this falls under the umbrella of performance enhancing drug so if you go back to even the 1800s you have baseball players that were doing you know miracle elixir type of shit that were drawn from the testicles of various uh creatures um that they were injecting into themselves yeah but but did that chemically change them or was that just is bullshit was that various creatures that they were injecting into themselves.

But did that chemically change them or was that just bullshit? It's tough to say. There were certain people that proselytized about it. There was a pitcher out of Pittsburgh, Pud Galvin in 1889, who was really the earliest. Pud. Yeah, Pud. Yeah, Pud Galvin. He was the earliest PUD PUD, yeah, PUD Galvin he was the earliest

he's credited as one of the first if not the first baseball player to admit to using steroids and he believed in it he was like, I'm going to take this this liquid from the testicles, or extracted from the testicles of dogs and guinea pigs

and inject injected into myself or as forest calls it breakfast so you two you two know each other right yeah how do you know each other miami connection yeah miami connection well you're both part of the cartel what are you talking about more specific it's always a miami connection yeah yeah well i'll bet you're from miami as well right i mean yeah yeah yeah. Well, you're from Miami as well, right? I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You did bath salts together? What are you talking about, Miami connection? Well, I met Billy at a comedy club years ago

because Billy's a big comedy fan. And it was, and he, almost all of your documentaries, right? And there's maybe a few, but most of them have some connection tied back into Miami or Florida or South Florida in general. And I know there's a few, but yeah.

Almost always including screwball, which focuses on the biogenesis steroid scandal with Alex Rodriguez and Tony Bosch. Yeah. It's all places. I, all the bars that, that all these characters met at and I'm like the sports grill in South Miami and Monty as all these places I've drank and ate at and stuff. And so, so it's like, yeah, but I know, I know Billy from Miami. I've run into him in the airport a million times like probably not a million but a couple times like uh you know flying to and from la i like how you stipulated it wasn't a million

the rest of us was like wow you really have seen each other a lot you went oh i exaggerated then that was the exaggeration a couple of times this so yeah it says it says a pud galvin it was something called brown sequard elixir okay why we're on this why what is it with baseball players having stupid names yeah well did his parents call him pud or was pud a nickname see this is the thing that it's like if i went to a school with a kid named pud galvin then you'd be like what are the like what a coincidence and you're like you're saying that about michael jackson yeah yeah pud galvin yeah i don't know a single other pud babe ruth yeah jock peterson jocks is his real name isn't it rusty cunts yeah rusty cunts who's rusty cunts well i think they say it's pronounced coons but i pronounce

it rusty cunts his name is rusty cunts what about what about misty hyman the swimmer do you remember misty hyman yeah yeah who you call there was a swimmer american swimmer called misty hyman who used to she was in the olympics oh but it says pud here was a dominant pitcher so it did work oh yeah he's the first mlb pitcher i think to win 300 games holy cow and then it's a this is a babe ruth was said to try injecting himself with sheep testicles but it didn't work it made him ill why did babe why did babe ruth do that yeah i don't get the point like so babe ruth now is injecting himself all he did was drink beer and eat hot dogs right they reckon and then just sleep around there's actually a

really good reason for that um the baseball season because it's fun that's just so fun but it's one of the most grueling in professional sports i mean even though it kind of seems like they're one cba away from hitting the ball and jumping on a golf cart between bases like they still have 162 game season in 180 days. So these guys are worn out. And they're looking for anything that they can do. And even back in the 50s, you had the Yankees like Mickey Mantle and Whitey Ford and Billy Martin who were up all night like you saw in Miami, Forrest, at the Copacabana.

And then they have to wake up for a 1 p.m. game tomorrow. They were popping greenies, which are basically amphetamines, you know, a pet pills. And so there was always a performance enhancing drug. Steroids is synthetic testosterone, but whether it was that or it was something to some form of speed, ball players have been doing it forever. And it was really, you were close with the 60s. forever and it was really you were close with the 60s uh the mitchell report places at about 1973 that steroids were really caught on in in 73 oh wow and so but that's the question you're asking

jim is like why would barry bonds or a rod or these guys were already hall of famers without doing steroids so like why would they do them because they want to be even better yeah but they were already great you know like a rod was on the cover of sports illustrated in high school like he was already good you know i was like but there's a couple like you remember now you were talking about uh jim was talking about the the home run race in 1998 which uh which was uh mark mcguire and sammy sosa that was the other name sammy yeah you were close but barry bonds i wasn close. I didn't say your name at all. You almost got it.

You said the other guy. You were close. I said the other guy. No, but you said Barry Bonds, and you were right. He came up after Maguire and beat the Maguire record. Maguire beat the Marist record, and then Barry Bonds came up behind him. But all three of those guys were juicing, every single one of them. All three of those guys were juicing, every single one of them. And after the 94-95 strike in Major League Baseball, which was the longest work stoppage in the history of the league, it was the longest work stoppage in professional sports at that time in history until the NHL beat it out years later.

But it was also the first time since 1904 that they canceled the World Series, you know, the whole postseason. And really, there was legitimate concern that America's pastime was dead. time since 1904 that they canceled the world series you know the whole postseason and really there was legitimate concern that america's pastime was dead and it was that home run race in 1998 that brought the eyeballs and the attention and the imagination of of america did you say steroid saved the sport oh really yeah steroid saved the sport did you say there was also a world series cancelled in 84 what was that all about that was 1904 1904 okay because jim is a big baseball fan but you didn't get until what year i got into baseball in the year 2000 you didn't miss anything yeah i knew nothing about the sport until then how i got into it was i used to party a lot um oh no no it was even later than that i know i got i got into baseball about 2007 right so what happened was

i used to party a lot around then and i used to get in and for whatever reasons i couldn't sleep after i was going out i couldn't sleep but in england in england yeah and so they would play on just a regular channel one baseball game every night at like two in the morning because it was english time and so i used to stay up and watch it and i set myself a little task to figure out the sport this is i didn't have the internet or anything at this stage i had to figure out the sport just by watching it so it took me a year to figure out what rBI meant. There was the internet in 2007. I didn't have it. He still doesn't know how to use it. Yeah, I didn't have it.

If I had to use it, I had to go to like a cafe or something. Were you a terrorist? I didn't own a computer. I remember once saying to another comic who brought his laptop into a fucking dressing room, like berating the cunt, just going, what the fuck? Are you a businessman? Why would a fucking comedian ever need a computer? just thinking well this isn't going to catch on um yeah so i used to watch baseball uh late at night all by myself and then the first thing i

did when i came to america and it was about 2008 when i first came to america just to you know have some meetings and stuff like that uh first thing i did was i went and saw the dodgers play and it was uh nomar garcia para uh bobblehead night that's how i remember it that's where you can find the date and uh it was very exciting but we we lost and this was the days before uber right where i just called up a cab and he was like uh no can you come and get me from dodger stadium have you been to dodger stadium billy ever it's it's a nightmare to get in and out i've been there it's yeah it's a nightmare to get in and out of knowing that you've never been also it was pretty rough back then too yeah in 2008 yeah i

walked down to like Silver Lake or whatever And then tried to This is when LA was Like everyone was just drink driving Like no one gave a fuck because you just couldn't Uber saved so many lives One day we'll do a show on Uber Oh I know everything about them

They're a fucking game changer My life picked up so much So baseball It's really easy to get into oh yeah nobody goes there yeah no one goes there you could park your car in the stand you can you can go to marlin's games and watch it like a drive that would be awesome yeah it would be really Yeah, until your windscreen gets smashed in by a home run. It's funny, 2007, the year you got into baseball, is the year that the Mitchell Report came out, actually, and which was all precipitated by the Balco scandal

on the West Coast in the San Francisco Bay Area, and that's what really blew steroids in baseball wide open. We all knew what was going on, because Mark McGuire went from this skinny kid blue steroids in baseball wide open we all knew what was going on because mark mcguire went from like this skinny kid into like a neck like my waist you know like over you know over an off season basically so everybody knew but nobody cared because they were smacking these balls to guantanamo every game and it was a big thrill to watch that i'm sure i'm sure his neck was a lot more solid than your waist. I don't want to be mean,

but I'm certain of that. And it was, but it was, it was a thickness. And the whole thing about saving baseball, it's not understated because I was starting the fall out of, like I started, doesn't stop watching baseball.

I've always been basketball guy, but baseball is like my, the second, my second favorite sport to watch now, but for a while it's falling out. then that year i went to a marlins game when the cardinals came to town and mcguire hit two home runs and the marlins weren't drawing then either and the place was packed i mean the whole stadium was packed just to watch mark mcguire hit home runs so it's not understated and major league like even in your documentary and you're

saying it's like they were all for it they They were all for it. Did they turn a blind eye because of this? Unquestionably. Oh, I mean, yeah. I mean, Bud Selig was the steroid commissioner. He's in the, he's in the hall of fame. He should have an asterisk by his name. I mean, nobody profited more from steroids in baseball than the commissioner of baseball, Bud Selig.

And that's how this all, this whole thing came to a head is that he wanted to give the impression by the time the 2000s rolled around that he was actually gonna take action and do something about it and they made a deal with the uh with the players that you know with the the union the players union that they were going to anonymously test players in like 2003 and if fewer if more than five percent of the players tested positive for steroids they were going to institute a regular random testing regimen under the agreement that all of the results of the test would be destroyed so two things happened spoiler alert there was more than five percent uh of players that tested positive for steroids so by 05 they instituted

a regular test how much more yeah uh we don't know they never released that that statistic but well i do 17 percent 17 they banned steroids in baseball in 91 but never really had a a way of enforcing that so by 2005 they had a way of enforcing that. So by 2005, they had a way of enforcing that. But here's the interesting thing. They didn't destroy the test results as they promised. Someone at the laboratory absconded with them and leaked them to the press in 2009 when we discovered that all these guys, including A-Rod, had all tested positive back in 03 for steroid use, all the while having denied that they ever used steroids. And in the interim, you had the Balco scandal in 02, you had the congressional hearings by 04, 05,

you had George W. Bush mention steroids in baseball in his State of the Union in 2004, like this was some sort of federal case. Barry Bonds, of course, was charged with lying to a grand jury with perjury and obstruction of justice in the steroid and baseball investigation. And this whole clusterfuck basically created the Mitchell Report, which led baseball players to say, okay, how can we cheat without violating the new rules? And that was the shift from anabolic steroids and synthetic

testosterone into human growth hormone and into real testosterone treatments all of which is legal if it happens with a doctor with a prescription with a legitimate pharmacist but it was illegal and banned all the while in professional sports so it's it's it's legal for me to take steroids is that what you're telling me with a doctor and a prescription and a legit pharmacist. It'll help you too. So this isn't the animal stuff that I was talking about. No, well, it turned into that because...

They banned the other stuff, right? Well, they banned it, but then what happened was the players had to move into the black market. Because they were on the down low, they had to move into the illicit underworld yeah of testosterone is taking steroids good for you i heard that if you if you take steroids okay so what happened to what's his name the bicycle rider who took him lance armstrong he got the cancer i heard this might be you have to monitor it because everything in your body grows everything grows not your organs but everything grows so a tumor might be a you have to monitor it because everything in your body grows everything grows

not your organs but everything grows so a tumor might be small and then the the the steroids can enhance the tumor and it'll grow along with muscles is that correct or is that a fallacy there there the science is in dispute but there is statistical data that shows that there is a higher rate of uh cancer also in your offspring people who abuse steroids can pass along there's a i think a higher rate of childhood of childhood cancer of autism in the offspring of people who have used so that's why a lot of athletes a lot of athletes it seems like a lot of athletes have autistic children like i'm not just like saying that it just seems like it's a high percentage i don't know if that's like well okay i don't want to say anything mean here but they're athletes and they're and they're having children with models

and you're expecting these you're expecting einsteins to fall out of these fucking people come on now okay um you know what's interesting though billy because i and in the documentary and screwball is well you just said that these athletes have to turn to the black market like know okay um you know what's interesting though billy because i and then the documentary and screwball is well you just said that these athletes had to turn to the black market like balco i'd never seen the storefront of balco till screwball the documentary and also the biogenesis i didn't know where that was but i know exactly where it is it's in coral gables it's right where the manatees like because i used to be a marine biologist everybody knows that um it's where manatees gather but they're like these kind of shithole office fronts that these super high profile athletes were dealing with.

It's like it was crazy. So in states like California and Florida, where there are young people and also people getting older who want to preserve their youth, there was this explosion of anti-aging clinics in the zeros. And these were clinics run by, in many cases, shady operators, people who are just entrepreneurs who would essentially rent the DEA numbers and the prescription pads of legitimate doctors. And in Florida, we have a lot of retired doctors who are on the golf course all day and not making any money. So they would get a piece of the action by being the medical director at these anti-aging clinics like Biogenesis, which were really nothing more than strip mall storefront businesses. And they get to put a doctor's name on the door, but there was no doctor there.

There was a dude in there who was illegally prescribing these drugs. And then when he couldn't keep up with the demand anymore, or he couldn't get a prescription pads, he would go to the black market and wind up with guys making synthetic testosterone and HGH in their garages in South Florida. And so, you know, you basically had these players who were dealing with baseball players who were dealing with a fake doctor, a guy who called himself doctor, but was not a more lab coat, but wasn't actually a doctor who was writing illegal prescriptions and selling God knows what for these guys to ingest and inject.

That reminds me of when in California, you had to have a medical card to get marijuana. And I went in to go see a doctor on Venice Beach. You know, it was one of these ones where there was a guy at the front of this doctor's surgery in a big foam weed leaf, like dancing around going, come in and get a prescription. And so I went, oh, I want to get involved in that, right?

So I go in, i go in i go in there's no doctor they just sat me down at a card table and they flipped open a computer and it was like a doctor on his on on his lunch break eating a sandwich and playing solitaire on a laptop right and he goes he goes uh he goes uh so what uh symptoms do you have uh and i went uh i was going to go in there with i have headaches i also have i had this whole whole list whole list of shit that i was going to say to get my weed card right and i started like this i was going to go i have headaches and i also have acute um problems with sleeping and sometimes i have pain in my lower back and i was going to go on about all these things so i definitely get my weed card and all i did was i went i have headaches and he goes and

do you think that marijuana would help i do okay go to the front counter that's literally that's exactly what happened to me i was like stressed out like rehearsing my speech and i was like i have trouble sleeping he's like okay sign this i was like what the fuck just happened yeah it was the easiest fucking thing i've ever done was get a weed card. It took seconds. Which makes it ridiculous that you even have to go in there. It's like, why couldn't I just do it online? I remember my girlfriend was like, you're on a list now.

You're on a list. They'll know that you're a weed taker. And I'm like, yeah, well, that's no good. Jim, when you got into the Dodgers, was Manny Ramirez on the team? good um jim when you got into the dodgers was manny ramirez on the team or uh that was the last year uh no that was before manny um um ramirez yeah before that okay because so in the documentary which i'm sure you're going to watch after it's really good what happened to him he's like playing in the mexico league now or something right billy can tell you yeah because he's featured in the documentary so he was great yeah yeah man Manny literally, because I think he signed his Dodgers deal in 2009, I think.

It was a two-year, $45 million deal. And this speaks to your question earlier, why would these guys do it for $45 million for two years? And he had been going to Tony Bosch, Dr. Tony Bosch, and Biogenesis in Coral Gables, Florida, for, I guess, almost two years at that point. And he was getting testosterone therapy. I think Tony Bosch had tested his blood and said he had like the testosterone level of like a 90 year old man. And so he was trying to give him his groove back and testosterone was illegal in baseball, a banned substance. And that's how Manny got his groove back. And I suspect, by the way, that a lot of this may have been a placebo effect

because this guy was a coke addict, Tony Bosh, and he was burning through money. It was going right up his nose. So I think at some point he wasn't even able to secure the product he needed and was probably pumping these guys with sugar water. But that's how superstitious athletes are that manny started to to play better and and nailed that contract for 45 mil in in oh so you think you think maybe it wasn't even enhancing for him well he did get busted yeah so what is like test because i think okay so i'm losing my hair right

so that means i've got higher rates of testosterone right that means i have a high rate of it or is that bullshit i don't know i don't know because i've never okay i'll tell you this i i i i've never missed an erection it's always it's always taking a while sometimes it takes a while sometimes you might have to work it and play with it a bit but it always it always turns up to the party eventually i'm not gonna work it you know what i mean oh i'll have to work it there's a lot of swearing and saying i hate you in the mirror to make it happen but uh so yeah because in the in the doc i love the part where they go to the alex rodriguez's place and he opens the door and

that's what he said like tony bosh says the first words out of the mouth were i want what manny had right and that was after manny got busted yeah right manny manny pissed dirty in 09 and um and then uh uh a rod was right on top of it a rod wasn't like i want to avoid this guy or i don't want to do what he did a rod was you know getting up there in years he was getting older he wasn't able to perform the way that he used to and uh you know he was probably nearing obviously closer to the end of his career than the beginning of it and he wanted to to get that pet back in his in his step and he went to tony bosh and said i want what manny was taking even though he knew that manny was juicing and manny had had failed his drug test. Well, here's a question I have. I don't know.

So why is it always baseball? They're definitely taking steroids in other sports. Why is it always? They always find it out in the Olympics. The Olympics are really cracked down on it. Like they had what in Russia, they were passing piss through fucking walls and shit. But they've got to be taking it in football for sure.

And then there's the German swimmers. Remember the German swimmers where those, like I was about to say those bitches were there were some big-ass bitches swimming swimming for that german team right and then i remember like like i think it was china there was that girl who got out of the pool and she had the muscles of arnold schwarzenegger on her back like in a swimsuit yeah but major sports like football olympics is a major sport but you know i'm saying but like football basketball even even like soccer there's gotta be something i don't know if it would help as much with not the bulk up in soccer but the to get the energy or something i don't know yeah well to get speed because runners do it right

like runners are always on steroids, right? The Carl Lewis. Helps you to heal from injury as well. So what's the downside? It sounds like steroids are awesome. You haven't said any downside. I think it does beg the question, who gives a shit about steroids in professional sports? You know, Adderall is a performance enhancing drug.

So if your kid does Adderall and gets into Yale and my kid doesn't do Adderall And doesn't get into Yale, didn't your kid cheat? Isn't that a performance enhancing drug Ostensibly? It's the question of who gives a shit I think who does give a shit actually Is whatever percentage of professional Athletes who are competing in your

League and members of your players Association or union that don't want to Poison their bodies and don't want to Possibly endanger their offspring. They say that's not fair because in order to compete, I have to fucking cheat. I have to do drugs. I have to poison my body and they don't want to do that.

So do you want it or not? They're nerds. Fucking fucking knocks. Cause baseball. I mean, MLB, the commissioner, they really still kind of want them to cheat though

right even though they say they're testing and they're then they're suspending people i mean you know if if all things being equal do you think like they would be like well professional sports has turned into what everything in this country including politics has become which is the wwe you know and so it's all about storylines i mean how else is do they take steroids the people in the wwe no is this is there steroid use in that heart i hate to break your heart and crush your heroes but it's possible that there is some steroid let's just go on a little detour now about the wwe when i was a kid,

I find anyone who supports... Like, I know Ron Funches really likes it. I like Ron a lot, but I find that weird. Adults who watch it. My friend Brendan Burns watches it. Loves it. Katie Dirks, she has a podcast about wrestling.

People who love wrestling. Who am I to tell people what they can and can't enjoy, right? So obviously they enjoy it, but I don't get it. I'm like, what the fuck is it? After you you know it's fake why would you ever watch it yeah i was into it as a kid and now i'm just like whatever my son my son once he found out it was fake he went off it he was like oh he's already off it yeah he just went nah it's not real clean off of

wwe it's a telenovela with gladiators it's theater with gladiators it's you know it's it people watch it for the yeah but when i was a kid you had george the animal steel and he was like a mentally challenged fella who used to start he used to start eating eating the corner like phone all right and then you had then you had definitely he definitely was special i don't even think about that. He was just like... Yeah, when you were a kid, he was a simpleton who used to just come and whack people around, right?

Then you had Rowdy Roddy Piper, who was just a Scottish bloke. Then there was like Jake the Snake. Now, Jake the Snake's move was when he beat you up, he would then put a snake on you. That would choke you out until you started... They must have put foam things in their mouth

and the snake wasn't... Because it looked like someone was dying. Yeah, that's right. They made it look like it was getting poisoned but it was a constrictor. No, no, no.

They would choke on the neck and then they'd start foaming from the mouth because they were dying, right? Yeah. So you'd watch... He'd kill people with a snake. Then they're all fun. You know i mean then you had uh the the bushwhack brothers or whatever which were the ones that like farmer

boys who used to who was the guy with the piece of wood uh hacksaw jim duggan oh i don't know oh he had a piece of just had a giant piece of wood he'd go, ah! I liked how the stereotypes, there was one guy who was just like a yuppie millionaire, right? And he'd just show up in a suit. Right? With like a cravat on. And everyone would be like, damn him and his money. Right? And then you had the managers

back in the day, Mr. Fuji. Who was just like this Asian stereotype who'd just stand off to the side and he would, if your head was hanging out and no one was watching, he'd whack your head with a chair and then he'd run away. Totally legal. Totally legal, right?

And then, obviously, you had Hulk Hogan who would get concussed. He'd be dead. His hand would be flopping up and down and then they'd lift the hand up and it would stay and he'd point the finger and he'd be back. His hand would be flopping up and down. And then they'd lift the hand up and it would stay. And he'd point the finger and he'd be back to full power. Not just full power. He would have full power plus more. So what I'm saying was it was fun back in the day.

But now all the people are like the undertaker and stuff. It's all dark and fucking. In independent wrestling, there are a lot more creative things. Because like Katie did a documentary on joey ryan and his whole shtick is that the competitor grabs his dick and he has so much power in his penis that it like overtakes them and they can't they can't let go of his dick and then he does this move where he like twists and then the person flips and that's how he knocks them that's what her documentary is about that guy the joey ryan story it's fucking great it's really good Yeah, the Joey Ryan story. It's fucking great. It's really good.

Ah, fuck it. I want to watch some wrestling now. I'm actually pretty amped about it. I'm going to go home. I'm working on a documentary about macho man Randy Savage. Oh, nice. Are you really? Oh, nice.

A Florida man. Florida man. I like the documentary on Georgie Animal. Not Georgie Animal still. Fucking Andre the Giant. That was Animal still, fucking Andre the Giant. That was a good one. Andre the Giant used to shit in buckets on planes. What were you saying, Billy? You don't, Jim?

No, no, I'm a perfect size. Who here has ever fucked in an airplane toilet? No. No. I've had several wanks in them. Why? I've had maybe 10 wanks in an airplane. Why is it a jerk-off in an airplane toilet?

It's disgusting. Well, it's private. I don't know how to shit in there. What I do is I turn the phone on to porn and I put it in the mirror so I can watch it and listen to it at the same time. Right? And then because I'm on so many long-haul flights so many long flights recently i don't want to say right but anyway so was i on a plane with you when you did it yeah

anyway so so the thing is you do i do that so that i can go to sleep because if i'm on a long haul flight i go i need a nap now but i i you what, if I've had a wank in a plane, the cubicle's cleaner than when I went in there. I clean up brilliantly. It's like a crime scene. I mop up the whole thing. There's nothing there. You could go in there with a bloody ultraviolet light.

You wouldn't see it. Okay. On that note, we're going to take a break. I think everyone needs to relax. I have a network sitcom. Okay, we'll be right back. We'll be right back. Forrest, very clearly you work out.

That's what people say about me. When you do work out, do you listen to music? Yeah, I listen to music, podcasts, yeah. And how do you listen to them? With cumbersome earphones that have wires hanging off them that everyone can hear what you're hearing? I have a boom box I put on my shoulder. It's very convenient to work out that way.

Why is there a better way? There is a better way. You could get wireless earbuds from Raycon. Raycon earbuds start at half the price of any other wireless earbuds on the market. And they sound just as amazing as the top brands you already know the newest model the everyday e25 earbuds are the best ones yet with six hours of playtime seamless bluetooth pairing more bass and more compact design that gives you that nice

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Do it. Call to action. Now's the time to get the latest and greatest from Raycon. Get 15% off your order at buyraycon.com slash I don't know. That's B-U-Y-R-A-Y-C-O-N.com slash I-D-O-N-T-K-N-O-W. For 15% off Raycon wireless earbuds. Buyraycon.com slash I don't know. Okay, we're back.ontknow okay we're back while we were on break Kelly told us

a story because I mentioned masturbating on planes Kelly just made out with a stranger when she was 15 on a plane tell us more we were flying back from Hawaii I was with my parents and if I start masturbating just keep telling the story I actually prefer when people masturbate during the story.

The flight wasn't full, so I had moved back a few rows. He had moved forward a few rows. He was with his family too. And it was an overnight flight. You were with your family. Yeah. The best part is then we got off the flight. We had a connecting flight.

So it was all dark because it was a nighttime flight. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I saw him. I was walking with my dad. I saw him in the airport because he was a nighttime flight oh yeah um and what we i saw him i was walking with my dad i saw him in the airport because he had a connecting flight too and i waved to him and my dad goes what did you make out with him or something and i was like oh shit does it so i think my dad had walked to the bathroom and seen me making out with some stranger i'll tell you i'll tell you a good thing i was i was that stranger oh really, your name was Chris Watkins.

He's Mormon. One time when I was about six, seventeen, I had my, no, when I was sixteen, there was a girl that I was sleeping with, right? It was the second bird I ever had sex with. And she was over at my parents' house.

My parents had gone to bed, and I was just out. I was meant to be, we were meant to be in separate rooms, right? But we were in the living room and I was going down on her. She still was in a dress, like a summery dress. This is the 90s. This is how we all dressed. You know, those floral type of long dresses, right?

Yeah, used to wear those. And I was going down on her. She was sitting on the sofa and I was going down and then my father came out to get a drink from the fridge and he walked into the room and it was dark. So she just put her skirt over my head. So my legs are just still sticking out the bottom of everything. And then I just stayed still just with my mouth in her vagina

just like, oh, no. My dad went and got a drink and then he left and he went off to the fucking he went back to bed acted like he never saw it now to this day i don't know if he was just being polite and not mentioning the whole thing or if he never saw it i don't see how he could have not seen it probably just think she had a really weird body some hairy legs she's just having a huge baby her legs are facing the wrong way upside hasn't this podcast taken a violent turn so here we go let's pull it back to a couple things zero percent chance that there is not some creepy dude with his ear to the lavatory door the next time you're

on a flight yeah death ah fuck i'm bloated mr jeffries um okay so a couple things first you all do it all you people sitting at home all you people in your cars right now with your bloody i've never done it in a masturbating to this podcast i've never done it in a i've never done it in a public toilet never had a wank in a public toilet yeah as well you shouldn't you shouldn't have done an airplane one either if you want to have sex with somebody else in an airplane, I still don't get that. When we were in the Jim Jefferies show, did you ever have a wank at work?

No. No, I didn't have a private office. You had a beautiful office. I shared an office with two other writers. One of them was a woman. You're a better man than me. I had my own office in it. Do you never had sex?

I shared an office with Kelly the first year, and i just met her so i didn't think that was a good icebreaker and then uh but you would jerk off around me now just just for no i never did um so getting back to steroids do you so how do you feel jim like about like you just said what's the downside to him do you think they should be allowed to do them because i think they should be allowed to just them? Because I think they should be allowed to do them. I've always been like... What are we talking about now? Steroids, baseball. Steroids, steroids, performance enhancing.

I think they should regulate it and let them use it, and that way they wouldn't have to get them off the black market, and they put some parameters on the thing so that people aren't hurting themselves. What parameters? Don't do too much of this that would be the parameters you do too much you'll fuck yourself up so you're only allowed this many tablets you're only allowed this many uh-huh whatever oh but that doesn't work though does it because then some cunt would take fucking more yeah yeah i billy i don't know you

did the whole doc on this i mean where do you because you kind of don't really take that side in this document you kind of just say what happened there's a few things at the end where you might meant but like where you have a couple clips of people like i think the uh like silvestro is in his 70s and he looks great and i reckon that's got to do with this the roids yeah i i i i've always been like it's never really tipped me when people get busted for it and i know baseball is a big stat driven game. So that's the thing, but it's fun to watch people hit home runs. I mean,

I don't know. What about boxing? Is it, is it prevalent in boxing or do they, they stop it in boxing? Cause I feel like that's something that maybe they shouldn't have it. Cause if you can thump someone harder. There are,

there are drugs, there are pre-fight drug tests, same thing in MMA. And then you'll be disqualified. And if you win, you lose the win and face suspension and fines potentially. And are these steroids easy to mask? Like if you stop taking them, like how long do they stay in your body? So this is part of what these guys these guys sell in the k in the balco scandal in the biogenesis scandal these guys are saying we've got a protocol that you can work

if you take this amount at this time in this form maybe you're injecting it they had gummies made where you literally were eating gummies you're ingesting them and if you do it this amount of time before a game and stop at this point that you could take a piss test and piss clean i don't know that that is actually that's that that's possible to get the benefit of them and then to not and then to not piss dirty i think is is actually impossible have i ever told you the story about when i went to work for budweiser i don't think so all right so i i had a job with budweiser that i had for about uh two days right when i when i first moved to england i was doing stamp comedy but i wasn't paying the bills so i got a job as so i want to say this was like oh god it was the european cup

2001 right 2001 so i i got this job to be a rep at budweiser and they gave me a smart car that's how old the fucking smart cars are remember the smart cars and it was covered in just it looked like a budweiser bottle it was just budweiser bunting all over it my job was to set up go to the bars and this is a terrible job for me because i have no eye for design or anything like that and i was meant to set up fucking budweiser, um, like stuff around the, have a bud and all that stuff. Cause I know like I've been here.

I've been one of those like shop girls at the bars now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I would set the bar up to look good with all Budweiser merchandise. That'd be impossible for you to do. Yeah. Because I'm not clean or tidy or anything like that. And I can't, I can't make things look nice. I can't, I can hardly dress myself. Yeah, we can tell.

And so I was like, jeez, I'm really unsuited for this job. But I had a car and I was like, I didn't know anyone who had a car in London. I was like pretty excited by this whole thing. Anyway, so they gave me the car and all that type of stuff. And then they said to me, they go, just one more thing. You have to do a drug test. And I was like, well well there is no way like like there's no way i was gonna pass this there wasn't i had done ecstasy a day before

i was still on drugs when they said it to me like i was like ah you know what i mean that's the worst time to take a drug test when you're on drugs and i was like i was like ah fuck it i'll give it a go how accurate are these things pretty good huh i like how you thought science you're gonna beat science i found out what drugs were in that ecstasy tablet i had heroin so they took me car away and then i was unemployed again that's freaking awesome yeah um okay we have some quick questions here some of which we answered during this uh jim we're gonna ask you this is a quiz at the end of this right we did this last time too um see if you remember some of these things. Okay. We'll start with one we didn't talk about. What percentage of MLBs use steroids according to,

this is according to Jose Canseco, who definitely took steroids, right? Okay. Yeah, Jose Canseco. I reckon he would say 70%. 85% he reckons. And in his book, he said he shot up McGuire, right? He shot up everybody in his book he said he shot up mcguire right or he shot up everybody in his book yeah yeah so all right so they do it to each other because it goes in the ass like they

they actually feed each other steroids yeah sometimes you need a friend um but but not by the modern era because the modern era like i said there was gummies it was different ways of taking i heard that rod stewart used to get ronnie wood because ronnie wood used to be in rod stewart's band before he was in the rolling stones he used to get ronnie wood to to blow cocaine into his asshole because he didn't want to fuck up his vocal cords that's that's a friend that's a friend man the two of them used to do that like like hey who wants another line and then he'd be going please please don't be rod please okay here you go um we mentioned this let's see if you're paying attention when did steroids become banned as a substance by major league baseball what year uh um 91 yeah good good

memory and then when did they start testing for steroids major league baseball uh after the report uh we're gonna say uh they started testing in the 2001 2003 very close but that's crazy there was 12 years where they're just like oh we'll start testing now it's banned we'll start testing yeah um okay and one other one other question. In 2007, a study from Berkeley found that the economic benefit of using steroids over a six-year Major League Baseball career was what amount to the player? Like, what did it increase by taking steroids? On average, not just like... 30%. No, like millions.

How many millions of dollars? Oh. Five million. 8.9 million. So you could earn... On average, you'd oh um five million 8.9 million so you could earn on average you'd earn nine million dollars more if that's what they're saying basically over a six-year career that i think so why wouldn't like there's no incentive not to take steroids so that's why i've got money now is all the drugs that drugs equals money um so we like to we like to do this billy we like to because the name of the show is I Don't

Know About That, we do want to have one kind of fact, whether it's obscure or interesting or something that the audience can use at a party to impress people that other people might not know. Do you have something for us about steroids or steroids in baseball? Yeah, I mean, just a quick fun story because A-Rod has somehow seen this incredible resurgence in popularity. And I can't even say image rehabilitation because nobody really liked him before. Suddenly he's like a pop culture hero. But when he was in the midst of his steroid regimen, the doctor, the fake doctor, Tony Bosch,

would take his blood every once in a while in regular intervals to run tests on it to check his testosterone level to see if any of these illicit substances or these banned substances i should say were turning up in his blood so he never got to see alex you didn't get to see alex that often so one night they're at live nightclub at the fountain blue hotel in miami beach at a vip area and that was when they were seeing each other so tony took a rod into the men's room into a stall i don't know what the bathroom attendant must have thought but the two of them went into a stall together and uh tony took blood from alex took a blood sample and put it in a vial

they go back to uh the vip area popping bottles dancing knowing tony he was probably you know just coke everywhere and he realized that he had lost the vial of blood that he had taken from a rod and he whispered it to a well whisper yelled like you do in a club and the next thing you know tony and a rod are on all fours on the floor at live nightclub feeling around for a vial of blood that no doubt dancers and girls are knocking and kicking around the dance floor. Like that scene out of Temple of Doom. In the beginning. As the confetti cannon is blowing and everything else.

But they've got to think they're looking for drugs too. That's what you, whenever I saw someone down on all fours on a nightclub. They dropped a bag of cups. I've always loved, because I remember like we used to, you know when you hand someone a pill or someone you buy a pill

and they do that they do that delicate little like underneath like backwards hand thing where you act like you're shaking hands and then you have it and you're like

hey good seeing you again and then you walk away you know anyway so but then like you're so discreet when you're handing it to somebody but then when you drop itreet when you're handing it to somebody,

but then when you drop it, everyone's on their knees. Yeah. Not giving a fuck at this beer sofa. Lights on your phone. Yeah, yeah. This is before phones. That's right. Lighters, cigarette lighters blazing down like this going,

oh, oh, like that. And then security will come over and, oh, we've lost a contact lens. Then they're helping you out contact lens what do we do without contact lens always a contact lens yeah one guy's just covering his eyes like oh no oh look there's also xd tablet people oh throw that out okay so we're gonna take we have one segment here, Billy, that we do with Jim. It's called, I do know about that. I do know about that.

Now, Kelly and Jim and I have sat around and talked about possible topics for the shows of things that he says he does know about. This, I don't know why you said this topic. I had it written down and there was a question mark next to it. I don't think you know about this topic, but maybe you just thought of it. Pigeons. Oh, yeah, I know a lot about pigeons. I know, but this is the way it works. I have three questions, and I didn't make them too hard because I don't think you know a lot about pigeons.

I just don't know. So first question, how fast do pigeons fly? Oh, they can fly very fast. They were used in the war, you see. We went miles per hour, yeah. They were used in the war, you see. No, don't go off topic. I went miles per hour. They were used in the war, you see, to deliver things. I would say a pigeon can go 80 miles an hour.

Average speed, 77.6 miles per hour. Fastest recorded speed is 92.5 miles per hour, and they can fly at altitudes up and beyond. But that pigeon was on performance enhancing drugs. The pigeons I know can do these. The pigeons I know. You're talking the 77 miles is your East Coast pigeon,

your West Coast pigeon fucking frames. Yeah. How far can a pigeon travel and return home? Oh, a pigeon, because they have to send messages 200 miles. No, up to 1,300 miles away. They've been doing 11 to 1, 1300 miles away uh they can do it even if you transport them in isolation isolation with no like visual or olfactory like even if they were just like in a box because they they use they use like uh the sun to guide them like an internal

magnetic compass um they'll even use like landmarks like signposts and stuff like that they're magical pigeons yeah and then this one is really hard i don't know if you're gonna get it but what is a pigeon named share a me famous for uh that's mike tyson's pigeon no but it's a good guess you're very confident in that share tyson loves pigeons i believed it yeah you mentioned it earlier the pigeons were used in the wars not only do they take pictures with cameras like oh he's the one with the camera he's not the one with the camera but this was like they they would they would help save troops lives by like you know they could like send messages and information to them so sheremy completed a mission that led to the rescue of 194 stranded u.s soldiers on october 4th 1918 and overall they saved thousands hundreds

of thousands of lives um in the war and so that was a very special they were before texting yeah if you had some bird lives 500 miles away and you wanted to send her like i got me dick out i'm stroking it right now type of text you get your pigeon that goes 70 miles per hour you get your pigeon to keep your erection for a while and then you'd keep your dick out until the bird came back with another message. And the message would come back. Who is this? Okay. So that is our show for today. How would the pigeon know where to go?

I know it can get home. How does it know where to go? I don't know that exactly. That's why, as I was reading this, Kelly was the one that got all these pigeon facts for us. And I was like reading this. And I know we did some stuff on pigeons on the show. Remember we did the thing about the war pigeons and i now it kind of made me want to get pigeons and start like making them fly and shit i don't know like i wanted to i really i started googling getting like buying pigeons last night that was one of my dad's hobbies as a kid

was trapping and collecting pigeons and then setting them free. Oh, so he knows about it. He just liked catching animals. But my dad's like the bird king. He's never owned a bird in his whole life, but he has birds that come and visit him and they just come and fly into the house. The same birds every day come and visit him, fly into his house,

and then just sit on his shoulder and watch telly with him. Forrest has seen it. It's a real thing. So that needs to be written into the show. Your and watch telly with him. Forrest has seen it. It's a real thing. So that needs to be written into the show. Your dad is very good with animals. He's got some sort of kinship with them. That's going to be the next hit Netflix series, Bird King.

Yeah. He's very weird. And he has a slingshot next to his chair. So that's not a complete kinship. No, you're about to tell this story. No, he has a slingshot next to him because he likes the lorikeets, to his chair. That's not a complete kinship. You're about to tell this story. He has a slingshot next to him because he likes the lorikeets, which are very colourful, rainbow lorikeets. He likes them.

And then the cockatoos, which are the big white birds that are worth a lot of money here. They're wild everywhere in Australia. My dad thinks they're a fucking nuisance and they bother the lorikeets. So when the lorikeets come to visit and find the thing, if the cockatoo flies down and just stands next to them,

my dad will hit them with a rock. Oh, my God, Gary. When I asked him, I said, when I visit him the first time, I said, what did I say, is it going to hurt him or something like that? Wouldn't that kill him? Yeah, and he goes, ah. No, no, it just scares him a bit. If they got it in the eye, they'd know about it.

But I've never hit one of them in the eye. And one of them that he hits with a rock all the time keeps coming back. It's the same fucking bird. It's into it. It's a masochist. So you only got one out of three of the pigeons, by the way. So you've done better on the stuff you're not supposed to know about most of the time. Yeah, my knowledge is varied and not very good.

So you don't, sorry, Billy, you don't get a voicemail recorded with Jim's name. You didn't win the pigeon contest. All right. Billy, so as we mentioned, Screwball, the documentary on Netflix, we talked a lot about stuff on that today. Also, CocaineCowboys.com. Also, uh, cocaine, cowboys.com, uh, visit, I don't know what happens on cocaine, cowboys.com. I can imagine it's more a lot of mail order, a lot of import export, you know, the usual, uh, no, it's our, our company website with all of our other documentaries, but screwball, of course, as you mentioned,

is now streaming on the Netflix machine and watch all of them. I've watched a lot of them. I haven't watched all of them, but I really enjoy your guys' work. It's really good. And watch all of them. I've watched a lot of them. I haven't watched all of them, but I really enjoy your guys' work. It's really good. And Billy Corbin, anything else you want to say? Thank you for being here. Thanks for being here, Billy. Thank you for having me.

I will never follow Jim in a lavatory on a airplane. No, he cleans it really. That's the cleanest it's ever going to be. You want to go in after him. It's cleaner. Or you want to go in while I'm there. You can hold his phone. Yeah, I'm a member of the Mile High Club, but not a team member.

Oh, no, I've had a handjob underneath a blanket from a girlfriend. Does that count? I think it has to be sex, right? That's pretty good, though. Yeah, I had a handjob under a blanket from a girlfriend. Didn't count? I think it has to be sex, right? That's pretty good, though. Yeah, I had a handjob under a blanket from a girlfriend. Didn't they see the blanket moving? Yeah, I love how people think that that's discreet. Just show a dick, whatever.

No one was watching, you see. Oh. That's what you think. Yeah, no, I had one of them. You've ever had a handjob, given a handjob to a bloke on a plane? I've never had one on a plane. I wasn't talking to you oh belly i was looking at you but i was thinking of forest yeah you were making really serious eye contact with me so and i never make eye contact that meant i really was interested in what you were about to say all right everybody that's uh i don't

know about that that sounded like a different edit my voice like i've come in at a different time uh that's another episode of i don't know about that and remember if someone says something that you don't know about just say i don't know about that and walk away good night america Hey everybody, Jason Ellis here from the Jason Ellis Show podcast, reminding you that my podcast, new episodes every Wednesday, downloadable where all podcasts are available. Come see my friends, Michael and Kevin, as we talk to you about what's awesome, what sucks, fitness, fighting, parenting, life, spin kicks, LGBTQ community, how to defend yourself against a shark if it attacks you out of nowhere, and much, much more. So come join us.