I Don't Know About That - Tennis feat. Michael Kosta

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

Comedian former tennis player Michael Kosta (@michaelkosta) teaches the IDKAT a thing or two about tennis. Jim's new special "High & Dry" is now available on Netflix! ADS: LIQUID IV: 20% off ANYTHING you order when you use promo code IDKAT at LiquidIV.com.

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Kenny, the guy who lives down my street. Which one of them are gamblers? You might find out. I don't know about that. South Park. Yeah. Kenny, the guy who lives down my street. Which one of them are gamblers? You might find out. I don't know about that. The Jim Jefferies. Kenny down the street does gamble. He does dice in an alleyway.

Has anyone ever played dice in an alleyway? No, and I'm a compulsive gambler. I've never done it. Yeah, good. When you were a compulsive gambler, did you ever do the cards? Three card party? Three card money? No, no, that's not really, that's like a scam.

It's a scam. I know how to do that. Yeah, I don't think the odds are good in that one. No, no, no, they're double palming cards, aren't they? And stuff like that. Yeah, there's a whole trick on how you stack them when you throw them. No, the worst thing I did as a compulsive gambler

was one time I was just high in college and I was sitting there with my roommates and some women's bowling match came on and we all made odds and i was sitting there with my roommates and this uh some women's bowling match came on and we all made odds and took different women there and we didn't know anything about it it was just like bet on that like just like and also little league world series i bet on one time i've started gambling with my uh son and my wife and uh a girl called anna who also lives with us who you people know right that's people yeah anyway, so the four of us sat down to watch The Bachelorette. And I do like a fantasy football league where you get to pick people.

Baseball, yeah. Well, fantasy, whatever. You said football, but yeah. Any fantasy sport. Oh, yeah, you do the day. No, fantasy bachelorette league. I'm doing it. I said like a fantasy football league.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So I'm doing this for the thing. So the thing is when the guys step out of the car, you have to pick who's going to be the one that gets engaged to it at the end, right? So when they step out of the car, you go, like if you dibs a person, you only get five picks right between the four of you.

There's about 25 people. Everyone gets five people each and then five duds just get left, I think. If they step out of the vehicle, you've got to go, take him! And then if no one takes the person, they're still sitting a bit later, you can wait and see if maybe she's got some chemistry and then go take him, you know what I mean? So you can pick these...

Because there's like a looks thing and then there's a personality later. I've got five guys. I've got guys. I've got guys. I've got guys for days. I've got that guy that got in trouble and then still got the first impression, Rose.

Still got the first impression. He's creepy. Anyway, so all these guys step out, right? And so my son's going along. He's picking people and all that type of stuff. We've all got like $2 in it, a bit of pocket money of his, just to put it, you know. Yeah, it's good. Teach the child.

Yeah. And so we're all gambling on the thing. Anyway, they did this big reveal. They go, this next guy that's coming out of the limousine has a history with you. He's someone you know, and he wanted to be here. And like this. So it's like you think, oh, it's going to be an ex-boyfriend or something like that.

But it turns out it's her brother, and her brother's coming out to wish her good luck, and there's another little storyline. Whatever, right? Right? But the brother steps out of the car and my son goes, I'll take him. The best part is they had the brother

stay in the house and pretend to be a bartender through the cocktail party so he could listen in on what the guys were saying. But the disguise that he was wearing. What? The disguise.

They called him undercover brother. The disguise on this guy would put undercover boss to shame. Undercover boss would blush if they were to see this disguise and go, oh, that's not passable. And I've seen some pretty shitty undercover boss disguises. He's wearing a fake mustache, a jerry curl wig, and a fedora. So that's him in the bow tie there.

He's normally a bald guy. Okay, hold on a second. I didn't know that the match light was black. And I thought that guy was in blackface for a second. I was like, I don't want to show this. He wouldn't call himself an undercover brother. That's why he's undercover brother. Okay, no, I know.

But I thought like, what's happening? But it was like, one of the guys at one point goes is that a stick on mustache like it was just it was so bizarre that they were trying to pass this off as a legitimate disguise it was so funny well okay so i'll go through so you get your undercover boss which is like some of the disguises are like what the fuck yeah atrocious what the fuck are you doing this is not fooling anyone it's like we're telling them that they're being filmed for a documentary about someone trying to start a forest food chain let's go and like and then the guys like got like tattoos that have been painted on that are very clearly like just paint every day he comes to work they're a little bit different yeah yeah your tattoo is

smudging and so so and then it's always like people like this like so like i just want to learn the fast food industry so your mom has cancer and you can't drive to work that must be really hard right that's what happens in every under the cover but if you're an undercover boss you just fucking have to fight cancer or something yeah you'll get given some money yeah if they pick you anyway that those disguises are bad this one was very bad but the worst has to go to uh 24 hours to hell and back or whatever it's called the gordon ramsay when he did the oh my god he got rid of kitchen nightmares he got rid of kitchen nightmares and he decided to go for this thing where he brought a truck into town and he went restaurants are going under faster than

possible that's why i've only given myself 24 hours. We all know how it is in TV, Gordon. You said, I won't do another season of that where I have to go out to fucking this town for three weeks. I'll do it in 24 hours. Sold, right? And I'll bring a truck. That'll juice it up. But he goes, whenever I show up to the restaurants, people know that I'm coming.

So Gordon Ramsay, all six foot four of him, often will dress up as a... He's that tall? Oh, he's a big man. Oh. He's a big man. So Gordon Ramsay will rock up at these fucking restaurants

dressed like a grandma. Like with a... Put Gordon Ramsay disguises on 24-hour kitchen. This is like... And then like... He's Medea? Yeah, he's Medea.

Right? He's Medea. He comes into the restaurant which knows that he's coming. And he sits there and orders food. He's like, can I please have this schnitzel? This old woman. You're like, that's Gordon Ramsay in a wig and a hat. The pilot one's insane.

I mean, that's the... I think you should leave sketch that pilot one. The pilot's awful, but that's Gordon Ramsay. Gordon Ramsay. Ramsay and then he stands up in the restaurant like this everyone stop eating like this and they're like and everyone in the restaurant's like

what what's wrong with that grandma with this with the British accent who looks like Gordon Ramsay very masculine grandma this is frightening he pulls off the wig and everyone's like are you fucking kidding me

oh my god like you'd be like look yeah at the very minimum people would go oh that's an 80 year old trans

this title here says Gordon Ramsay is completely unrecognizable as he dresses as no no no no no his disguises are always just Gordon Ramsay.

It's Joanna, man, but just as a chef. Like in that movie, his wig comes off at the end and they're like, what? What? This guy that was the most famous basketball player? You are currently... Oh, I have something we all have to watch. Has anyone got Hulu on their computer

or something like that? No. Oh, okay, we've got to find it Has anyone got Hulu on their computer or something like that? No. Oh, okay. We got to find it for later on. What is it? Did anyone watch that Almost Famous show where people are famous relatives?

Oh, no. It's hosted by the Jonas Brothers. It's on before The Bachelor. Oh, I saw an ad for it, yeah. Okay. So it's like cousins of someone. Someone's sister, like Tiffany Haddish's sister

was in one season. Whoopi Goldberg's granddaughter was in it. And they all compete for $100,000 and you have to keep your identity of who it is, right? Oh, my God. Anyway, Tom Hanks' niece. We've got to find this footage for the next episode.

Tom Hanks' niece was on the first episode. She gets called out first. And she fucking loses her shit on camera. Where she starts screaming and throwing things. Going, I deserve more camera time. This was too obvious. I didn't even get to do a fucking challenge. It's worth watching.

Oh, my God. Best TV I've seen in years. The Hanks family, other than Colin, they're all a wreck. The Hanks family. I don't know what Tom Hanks does. He must just come back and suck the lifeblood out of them to make him seem so nice all the time.

But the rest of the family is like, yeah chet and over this woman yeah yeah um you are i think you're an australian now shooting uh the the one percent club one percent we'll be there one percent club we're filming 12 episodes instead of 10 this time so we got even more episodes so there's like 15 episodes in the can for australians to watch right now and uh when you come back, 25th and 26th, you're going to be in Hartford, Connecticut, Providence, Rhode Island, and Canada, and locally, Thousand Oaks, Anaheim, Oakland. It's all on jimjeffries.com. Go there, and then go to IDCAT Podcast on Instagram.

Follow us on there. We should have way more people following us. Oh, by the way, August 29th, too. Well, we have way more listeners, and we have followers on the thing. August 29th. Fucking like Tom Hanks' niece over here. What the fuck?

Why don't we have more followers? You pieces of shit. It's bullshit. August 29th, we'll have a live podcast at Flappers. And if you live

in the LA area, or even if you don't, fly in and watch the live podcast. It's our first one that we're doing and it'll be fun. We plan on doing a lot more.

Flappers. Go to that. Flappers. That was originally a one that we're doing, and it'll be fun. We plan on doing a lot more, so. Lappers. Go to that. Lappers. That was originally a strip club, you know, for wide women. Oh, dear. All right, we'll edit that out. I didn't say big.

I said wide. Just broad? Just. Oh, I've got it on my website, too, where at a foreshaw.net. I got shows coming up. Scott liked it. In Montana.

Las Vegas. I'll be in Vegas. Somewhere else. Miami. Should we say that Scott Sabinsky's in the room? Scott Sabinsky's here. Scott Sabinsky. Scott Sabinsky.

Yeah. Sabinsky. There you go. The Zimbabwe. Otherwise known as Kelly's brother. That's all he's ever done in his life. Scott is the person who brought all these people in this room together except for me and Forrest.

Yeah. It's true. But he's technically brought us together in a different way. No, I brought you into that show. Yeah, yeah, it's true.

No, it's not true. I had to really hard sell you. I don't think so. Not anymore. He loves you now. In the beginning he was a hard ass.

Trust me on this guy. Trust me. Please welcome our guest, Michael Costa. Hello, Michael Costa. Now it's time to talk about tennis oh wait a minute let's uh we'll see what we're talking about okay yes no judging a book by its cover we're talking about tennis because um everyone knows that about michael how do you know we're not talking about the daily show ah Ah, he's on The Daily Show. Why would anyone want to talk about The Bloody Daily Show?

Just a poor man's Jim Jefferies show, isn't it? But every day. Yeah, every day and for about 20 more years than my show. You could argue it was more successful, but I don't want to get into this debate. We could go either way. All right, let me introduce him properly then. Michael Costa is a stand-up comedian, writer, and former tennis player.

He was a former college and pro tennis player, achieving a world tennis ranking of number 864. Michael Costa is a correspondent for Comedy Central's The Daily Show and his one-hour Comedy Central special, Michael Costa Detroit, New York, L.A., is available on Paramount Plus and YouTube. Check out MichaelCosta.com for all his upcoming tour dates. And he has a podcast as well called Tennis Anyone.

So download and listen to that wherever you listen to podcasts and find him on IG and Twitter at Michael Kosta. Yeah, you want to tell us a little bit about your background in tennis, Michael? Sure. Yeah, I kind of gave it away with this prop racket in the back but it's like

one of those things it's been sitting in my closet for 11 years and i never get to use it so this was the moment well worth it uh i play i was just you know tennis was my first choice of profession it was what i always dreamed of being a Grand Slam champion. I played junior tennis, then I played collegiate tennis at University of Illinois. Then I played professional tennis for around two to three years before I went bankrupt, ran out of money. Then I coached for two years at the University of Michigan, which is where I first started doing stand-up comedy at the open mic scene in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and now I'm a stand-up comic, but I love the sport. It actually has a lot of similarities to individual stand-up comedy.

And sometimes I wonder if, if I should be talking about tennis less, but I love it. Well, we always say like, cause sometimes you're an expert, at least today. Cause you know more about tennis than we do. Maybe not Scott. He's in the corner.

When I tell the general public, my career high ranking, they laugh. When I tell anybody in the tennis world, they go, Holy shit. That's pretty good. Yeah.

So it's like, I, it's the best i've ever been at anything and still i made eleven thousand dollars over three years so how high can you rank up to when i was playing they were ranking like000. So there was a lot of people tied for 3,000. That would be one ATP point. My highest, I think I had 13 ATP points. So if you really do the math on global players and what percentage you are,

I mean, that would be, I don't know how many players are in the nba nfl i mean i like to think i was probably in the major leagues but never really playing or doing anything significant if that makes sense yeah yeah yeah i that's my major league career all over um who's the biggest player you ever played i missed the question sorry who's the biggest player you ever played? I missed the question, sorry. Who's the biggest, most famous, whatever, most player we would recognize that you played? I lost to James Blake many times in the juniors. And the closest I ever had to an actual real professional result that would raise eyebrows was my last round qualifying at the rca championships i lost to a guy named julian beneteau who probably only scott knows that name in that room but but he was a top

50 in the world player other than that i did not play any household names i was playing in cities like z wantonejo mexico where that's where shawank Redemption ends at the end of Zee, Zankanaco. That's right. Exactly right. I played a small island tournament off of South Korea. I mean, these were places that had one hotel. Every single tennis person was staying there. You know, this wasn't sexy pro tennis life.

And what do you consider to be sexy pro tennis life then? London, Wimbledon, Paris, French Open. Oh, okay. Yeah, the Grand Slams. I know about those. The ones you see on TV. I don't watch any of it on TV, but I don't really watch tennis, but I did watch it in sort of my teens.

You had to in Australia. In Australia, it's on regular TV just constantly. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm going to ask Jim. Jim, I would suspect that you know a lot about tennis just because your country of origin is obsessed with it. We're obsessed with tennis.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought every country in the world watched all the Grand Slams. It was just like watching the Super Bowl. If a Grand Slam was on, you watched it. And living in Britain, I found that not to be the case. Living here, I found that not to be the case. Now, Australians have it just on regular TV all the time. And people talk about it at work and shit.

Really? Oh, yeah. Okay. I used to like Hingis. Hingis? I don't know. She did it for me, Hingis. There was a lot of other pretty tennis players going there, but that was me number one was Hingis. Hingis? I don't know. She did it for me, Hingis. There was a lot of other pretty tennis players going there,

but that was me number one was Hingis. Weird name. Martina Hingis. You never heard of Hingis? He's young. He doesn't remember that. Shut up, Jack. Martina Hingis had a –

there was something about her that young men connected to, and I would put myself in that camp as well jim there was there was something good because they had all these other corner covers and steffy graph big tall blot but martina hingis that was me girl if you listen out there hingi i'll leave me wife right now probably you probably don't like to be called hingi yeah um Okay. I'm going to ask Jim a series of questions about tennis, and then at the end of him answering those, Michael, you're going to grade them on accuracy 0 through 10. Kelly's going to grade them on

confidence. I'm going to grade them on et cetera, and we'll add those all together. Oh, boy. I forgot to do this. 21 through 30. Muy bueno. 11 through 20. Okay. 0 through 10. Muy malo. All right. Not even listening good okay Jim

in what country did tennis originate I would say tennis would be originate in England and that's just because alright love that's

that's that's 40 love that's that's 15 love alright I reckon that's why alright where does the word tennis come from, do you know?

Tennis from the Latin to hit with racket It's the Latin Yeah How many games are required to win a set in professional tennis? Game, set, match So wait a minute, so the game The game, set, match. So wait a minute. So the game, the game, set. The game's the little bit. The set's the big bit.

Yeah. The thing. So you've got to go 15, love, 30, love, 40, love. So you need to win four. Four games to win a set. Yeah, four. But then there'll be things, deuce and stuff like that. But like in the quickest way, four.

How does scoring work? 15, 30, 40, win. Deuce and then advantage, advantage and win. And why is it done this way? Why is it scoring like that? Because people like to be cunts. Why is anything done in any way? Like the reality of it is,

and I know there'll be an argument about this, you could go one, two, three, four. But people don't want to make things simple, do they? Okay. The next question. It's the same reason that medicines aren't just called acne cream. They're called amoxitoxetil. Pain reliever.

Yeah, because people are cunts. How many sets do you need to win a match? I should have asked that right after that. Game, set, match. In the men's, you need to win five sets. In the women's, you need to win three match? I should have asked that right after that. Game, set, match. In the men's, you need to win five sets. In the women's, you need to win three.

All right, good. What are the big three in men's tennis? Who are? Sorry. Who are the big three? Well, I see my tennis life has ended with about

Sampras and Agassi, but I'll go. So you got Dokic. Fucking who's the other cat the other one that he always plays all the time

I don't know if this is like the big three of something current or I don't know the answer to this the big three

of all time I'll go McEnroe Dokic and Sampras okay and the greatest of all time

who's considered the greatest of all time the greatest of all time ah men's yeah

this would be open to... Men and female. I would say Bjorn Borg. Okay, and then female. At his peak. Female. Female. I will go...

Monica Sellers right before she was stabbed. Okay. Which tournament... Yeah. See, you remembered that she was stabbed. You know more about tennis. Which tournament is considered the most prestigious in the world? The Wimbledon would be the most prestigious,

but Wimbledon was also the last one to have equal pay. All the other tennis Grand Slams had equal pay, and they went on for a very long time until it got to within like 50 grand. The prize money was like 1.2 to 1.25 and they just kept on being cunts about it. But Wimbledon. What is the term used when a player wins all four Grand Slam titles in a single year?

That's winning the Grand Slam. That's called... Fuck, I know that. All right, come back to me. And what about when they win it in their career? So you can win it in one career so there's you can win it in one year all of them in one year it's an egot okay uh who holds the record for the most grand slam singles titles won by a male player it's men's uh it's the player i can't um fernando

fucking name fernando no no no it's oh it's not Dockage it's the other bloke for talking about Rafael Nadal Rafael Nadal oh no Rafael Nadal

no Nadal I don't want Nadal I'm gonna go Dockage I think he's trying to are you trying to go for Federer Federer yeah Federer's the one

fuck he's been so it's Federer Nadal and Dockage will be the three what about women grand slam titles who holds that record um... So it's Federer, Nadal, and Dokic will be the three. What about women Grand Slam titles? Who holds that record? I think it's Martina Pavlova,

but it might be Serena Williams. But I think it might still be Martina Pavlova. Wait, Pavlova? I know, I'm being funny. Navratilova? Okay, okay. What is a tweener? I'm not allowed to talk about that anymore.

What about Hawkeye? Hawkeye, he's a wisecracking type of... I've gone like Norm MacDonald. He's a wisecracking... He's a wisecracking doctor that works at the 4077. Alfred Mash? No, a different 4077. He's pointing at me.

Why is this my fault? Why is it always my fault? I'm pointing across. I'm not pointing across. If I point you, I point like that. Point across the camera so that we can see your hand and camera. What is the term for a shot in tennis that is hit before the ball bounces? Volley.

What is the name of the line at the back of the tennis court? I want to change my big three to Pat Cash, Pat Rafter, and Leighton Hewitt. I mean, it's unbelievable the baseline knowledge that just an Australian who says, I don't really follow the sport, knows. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure it's outrageous I'm so you know humored by many of your

answers but also impressed that you can even pull Pat Cash out of your hat the 87 Wimbledon champion the first Australian to win Wimbledon you got a lot you got a lot in there

so it was 1987 so I would have been 10 years old and I was watching Pat Cash, Wimbledon. You got a lot in there. So it was 1987, so I would have been 10 years old, and I was watching Pat Cash win Wimbledon, and we were all watching around the TV, and Pat had a baby, and he went over and hugged his baby and his girlfriend. He was not married, and my mother was outraged. Oh, it's disgusting that he's representing Australia with an unwed bastard child.

And also, incidentally, my manager, this is like my manager in Australia, if he's listening, he'll be pissed off at this, Andrew Taylor, who manages me, he's had a varied career because he manages me, Luke Longley and Pat Cash. Does he? varied career because he manages me luke longley and pat cash does he yeah he manages manages pat cash for all of his public talking speaking type of things oh yeah he's got a real roster like people ring the office up like who do you need oh do you need a tall guy a tennis player a guy

says cut a lot we've got them all i actually i actually blame pat cash for monica sellis's stabbing let me explain he was he was the first player to enter to go into the players box after winning now monica sellis didn't go in the players box to get stabbed, but it kind of broke that barrier between fan and player. And as we know, German fan ran on the court and stabbed Monica Seles. So I've long held that the international courts should try pack hash in the second degree stabbing of Monica Seles. I blame Kurt Cobain for Chris Rock getting slapped by Will Smith for the same reason.

He really crowd surfed more than anyone else. There should be a fence between us and the audience. They shouldn't be allowed to get near us. Yeah. But he opened up that fence and now Will Smith is slapping everyone. I like how he acts like Will Smith is just a regular audience member.

Now he has access to a celebrity. He is a regular audience member at that stage when there's a microphone involved. Let me ask like two or three more questions and we'll start talking to Michael. All right. Which tennis player famously won the Battle of the Sexes match in 1973? I watched the movie with Steve Carell

and I know about this. Billie Jean King. Okay. I already asked this. Which Australian player is just like you, Jim? Likes to party and doesn't want to work, but is naturally talented? That's the Greek fella.

I like him. He comes up and he just goes, I didn't even practice. I didn't even do nothing. I just come out here and play tennis. I'm good at it. I'm good at tennis. I think I didn't even practice. I didn't even do nothing. I just come out here and play tennis. I'm good at it. I'm good at tennis. I think I fucking hate this sport.

You guys are losers for watching me. It's so accurate. Do you know his name? I don't know his name, but that's the dude. It's Caligarakis. It's a Greek name. Cucamonga. Nick Kostoroukis.

A couple more questions. We'll get to all these. I'll get to them once we didn't ask. What is the name of the famous tennis stadium located in Flushing Meadows, New York? It's where the U.S. It's Flushing Meadows, New York. He was there. He was there.

I became the nanny. It's just the's just the us i don't know the name of it i'm sorry how many seats does the biggest venue have well well as someone who has sold out the rod laver arena in australia where they hold the australian open the first australian comic ever to do it sadly chris rock and uh and kevin hart had done it before me but still i take that as good yes that's 14 000 seats uh and then but i had a stage at the back so then we got to add oh oh no no no i'm gonna go 38 000 and it's a rod labor no it's not right you just want to throw that in there okay No, no, no. But then I could imagine a country that was bigger, like America.

Oh, yeah. And what would that stadium look like? How long was the longest tennis match? What year did it happen? Is that professional tennis match? Yes. Because the two guys that invented it took four fucking hours. I know.

That's professional. And I've done it with a mate where I'm just lobbing it over. Oh, I have another go um okay the longest professional one that would have been uh i'll go i'll go beyond i'll go boris becker and and uh and uh mark philippousis and i can't tell if these are real or not. These are real names that have been insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mark the Scud. Yeah, don't worry about that.

Don't worry about the Scud. And Mark Filippousis, Boris Becker, 1996. All right, Michael. But how long was it was the question? Four hours, 76 minutes, and another two hours. 76 minutes. I know I need to drink more water because I'm always struggling with that and because water is so boring.

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That's 20% off anything you order when you use the code idacat at liquidiv.com michael uh how did uh jim doing his knowledge of tennis zero through ten tens of the best i'm i'm quite impressed uh you know just not that the answer not that mark philippous was ever an answer but the fact that he just threw it in there like to show his work is impressive i think it's great that he did he didn't know nick curios his last name but he did know even though he didn't know that he knew this his doubles partner's name was coconacus yeah yeah so he actually said nick coconacus so like he's actually playing a weird matrix where he knows more than he's aware of. He's playing with coconut eggs. He's good. My favorite answer to why is the scoring like that?

Because people are cunts. I think that's a great explanation. I would give him a 7 out of 10. Pretty good. Nice. Pretty good. Or as you would call it in your industry, a 68 love. Yeah.

Because I think I've had four. How do you do on confidence, Kelly? There was a question that we didn't get to that was the three of the current top men's and women's players. And I was going to give you the option to let my seven-year-old nephew answer it for you for extra points. If you feel confident in his. I'm down that. Do you want to try? Let me try first and then let's ring the child. I've just got a recorded voice.

Oh, young Jack. It's Alex. Alex. Oh, I don't trust Alex as much. I'm not going to do it. Jack's my guy. He knows everything. I'll take Alex.

I'll take Alex for 400, please. Okay. Top three. What is the question? Top three men's and women's. Correct. So women's, okay so women's we'll go

Serena Williams and there's an Australian girl who's very good at the moment who got to number one because I know this because I was doing

the game show and someone mentioned I didn't know her name I haven't lived there for a long time and everyone

in the studio was fucking outraged they wouldn't even talk to me because I didn't know this girl's name but there's an Australian girl Serena Williams oh and to be clear it didn't know this girl's name. But there's an Australian girl,

Serena Williams. Oh, and to be clear, it doesn't have to be the top three. It's just three top current players. Sorry, I think we said... Serena. Serena. Australian lady with no name.

Australian lady with no name. And Yurga Chet. And then the other three would be the ones that... Roger Federer. Dokic. And I'm just going to say, bring him out of retirement, Leighton Hewitt.

Yeah. Leighton Hewitt. Okay. All right, Michael. So you heard his answers. Go Rocky. Go Rocky. That's if you're Leighton Hewitt fans back out there.

See if this will be. Okay. Okay, Alex wants to answer the question about three players for men's and women's. He's insisting, so I'm giving him the phone to answer. Fiontek, golf, and Sabalenka for women's. And for men, Alcaraz, Rune, and Rude. That looks like a well-adjusted child who hasn't been fed answers. Whose answers were better? Most of his answers are retired tennis players.

I live in the past, man. Can I play today? No, go upstairs and learn your tennis players. He's obsessed with sports. He knows everything. It's crazy. How old's your nephew? Seven.

It's a seven-year-old beat you, Jim. Yeah. My two-year-old's obsessed with baseball, and I haven't pushed it on him at all. He just, he will walk up to you with the glove like, and then you put it on TV, it calms him down. He sits there and goes, ball! I give Jim an eight on confidence.

All right, seven and a half, 15 and a half. I'll give you 20 on et cetera. Muy, muy bueno. In what country did tennis originate? Jim says England because they say, all right, love. That was a great answer. You know, my understanding is that the scoring was devised by French and English aristocrats to prevent the lower class, the lower educated from adopting this sport. And you said a thing, Jim, that makes me laugh, which was like, why don't they just do one, two, three, four?

Well, that's essentially what pickleball does and we're drawing a distinction between an elite sport elite athletes and like and tally dilly checkers pickleball and so i kind of like that tennis has this elitism it was the scoring was designed to keep dumb people from playing good job it still works well i've played it well congrats you're not dumb yeah because 15 30 40 yeah and then love yeah well love love is because in french they were saying egg and the english thought you know mispronunciation of love that's the origin i know that to be true oh because egg meaning like a zero egg egg means zero yeah right right right and i've always envisioned like like a clock 15 30 40 game that's 45 you can't just slip in the 40. You had me. You had me with your clock.

You just go 15, 30, 40. You can't fluff over the bloody 45 you had me. You know what's funny? I was about to go, oh. And then I was like, wait, Jim's right. He actually convinced

me. My wife the other day she goes, what time is it? And I looked at my watch and she goes, do you actually use that to read time? And I'm like, yeah, that's why I have it. It's a fucking time thing. I keep it on my wrist. Hers must not be wound or in time. No, no. I bought my wife a nice watch and she just fucking wears it as jewelry.

It doesn't know what time it is. She doesn't care. I don't think she knows how to read time with arms. I haven't tested her. But that generation's not as... Yeah, I mean I have watches that I don't check to see if they're wound properly because I rarely

wear them. So if I throw them on, it's just for an accessory. As soon as I put a watch on, I put the date and everything in so I can walk around with the date. That's real men's hobbies there, guys. I've got one watch that puts the day. I go, it's Wednesday. I know it's fucking pointless.

I'm never going to check any wrist for Wednesday. I don't know. Sometimes you don't know what day it is. And a thing that you've wound yourself, that's going to be the most reliable source. Yes, it is. Do we know where the word tennis comes from? Jim said it's Latin to hit with a racket. to be the most reliable source yes it is do we know where the word tennis comes from jim says

latin to hit with a racket i i don't know the answer to that because i i assume the english stole it from the french and then perfected it in their monarchy and back grass court so i would assume it has a french origin but so so was the grass court of uh england the original or the clay court of france the original i assume concrete wasn't the original i don't know the answer to that i know that there's many iterations of tennis that preceded it there was something called stick s- S-T-I-C-K-E, that was like a racquetball backyard, but it was all rich people that had lawns.

That's why Wimbledon is the all-England lawn and tennis club. But it's a great question about the clay court. I don't know. And a real expert admits when they don't know something no no what surface did you enjoy the most

well i liked winning and i won most on a hard court an american hard court i love playing on clay it's great on the body you can slide it's a lot of fun but i would just get smoked i would just get killed these europeans are so good on clay and i suck so bad's a lot of fun but i would just get smoked i would just get killed these europeans are so good on clay and i suck so bad not a lot of opportunity for me to play on grass just because the show it's so expensive to maintain those courts they don't really exist so i would say i would say hardcore for me personally and in la you know there's there's not as much clay court tennis either. It's mostly hardcore.

And that suited my game. Big serve, good competitor, and everything else after that was a big bluff. Kind of like my comedy. I loved playing it. I played a lot when I was younger. I went to tennis camp when I was younger. And in Florida, there seemed to be a lot of clay courts. That was the fun part was sliding.

I've never even set foot on a clay that freaks me out watching it now because like with bad knees I just think about the sliding and then your knee popping out I prefer to play on grass because I'm a serve volleyer oh yeah yeah I mean Australia for many years dominated dominated dominated grass court tennis they were one of the only nations that everyone was serving and volleying all the time. In fact, to this day, every Australian tennis player knows how to volley, knows how to play the net. The name you were thinking of, Jim, was Ash Barty. Excellent female tennis player that had an excellent all-around game. But, yeah, the Australians really knew how to volley. It doesn't surprise me that Jim Jeffries is a servant volleyer.

I'm a servant volleyer. Me and Pat, both the Pats, the Rafter and the Cash, we're all servant volleyers down under. Yeah, I know you were, like, making a face like that. You wanted another point for knowing the servant volley, right? It's an Australian thing. Okay. You didn't know?

Australians still go, oh, the bloody modern game. They've got these fucking rackets. They hit it too hard. Ooh, a lovely serve volleyer. That's tennis. If you want to watch tennis, a lovely bloody serve volleyer. That's how the game was meant to play. Not standing 17 feet behind the fucking back line, bashing as hard as you can like a bunch of cunts. Nah, serve volley. That's how the game was meant to play. Not standing 17 feet behind the fucking back line,

bashing as hard as you can like a bunch of cunts. Nah, serve, volley. That's the Australian way. Except for Kyrgios, which he just mashes it, I think. How many games are required to win a set in professional tennis? Jim said four games. Yeah, that's incorrect. It's six games, and it's win by two so it's possible uh to win a set

seven five at five all uh you can you can win by two but then at six all you play a tiebreaker which gets you to seven six so i was the question i was mixing up my games and my points up i i knew that i was just wrong yeah yeah i mean i was impressed that you you went to game scoring um but yeah it's six games to win a set typically unless it goes into a tie break i always find when you watch professional tennis right when does it swap over from like just being a person who plays um recreationally to professional? Because whenever I played as a kid, when I had to serve, that was the game that I was going to lose because there was a lot of chances that I was going to double fault

and not get in there. But then when does the serve become a preferable thing? Well, the serve is the only shot in the sport that you have complete control over the ball. So typically return of serve, volley, forehand, back, all of that is incumbent on your opponent providing you the ball. And your opponent is trying to make it difficult for you. So with proper training, with good coaching, with many, many years of practice, your serve should become your best shot. So all you're admitting to me now is that you had a shit serve.

Oh, terrible serve. Terrible, terrible, the worst. Which is too bad because previously you described yourself as a serve and volley. No, no, no, no. Yeah, good point. Called out. My serve was terrible.

My volley was off the hook. My volley was so good you forgave the serve. I was just a volley and volleyer. It's really fun because of that part of the sport where you have complete control over the ball with the serve. It also is ripe for choking, much like golf, how they can sit there and think about the putt forever. And one of the best is this current German player named Sasha Zverev,

who, like you mentioned, Kelly, sliding on the clay, absolutely exploded his ankle at the French Open last year sliding on clay. Had to be taken off in a wheelchair. It was this big thing. But when he gets tight, he fucks up his serve so badly. It's like watching a beginner. Like this is a guy who's been top five in the world in tennis. He actually forgets how to serve.

It's very humorous. For us. As a person who's never played tennis, I feel like I can say that, but I feel like you're not allowed to because you only reached 800 and stuff that's like it's like a comic who's got a few paid gigs going and i'll tell you what that chris rock does wrong that's true it is true it's it's easy for me to be critical i have never once even come close to stepping foot on a court where the grand slams that's why i can be critical because I'm never even going to get close to what you ever fucking did.

So I'm allowed to judge from my big ivory chair like this. I live in an ivory chair. Don't question it. I wasn't going to. It's made from one tusk. That's cool. Wow. Yeah, massive.

Sounds small. Massive elephant it was. Oh, big elephant. How many sets to win a match? Jim said five in men's, three in women's. Is that right? I mean, it's right if it goes the distance, technically

in a Grand Slam in a man you only have to win three to win the match it's three out of five, so that's kind of a technicality. Best of five, best of three do you think because I watched a documentary a long time ago about the pay difference between the men and the women and lots of other stuff and part of the argument

for women not getting paid as much is that they only had to play to three sets and men had to play to five sets and the women were like we don't give a fuck we'll play five because this is a constraint that you've put on us this three thing do you see a future where women will be playing three or men will drop back down to uh play five and all men will drop back down to three it's one of those debates that if you even start to talk about it somebody on twitter gets mad at you but um i would love to see women play five i think that would be a lot of fun i mean you've got a lot of complexities with this topic because there was one year when serena williams was playing that the women's final sold out faster than the men's final so therefore women's tennis was generating more money faster

than the men's final but typically there's more parity in the men's game they played longer um you know equal pay is is it's getting very close to equal pay. It's still not there completely, but it's a great debate. Novak Djokovic one time said, well, we play longer. We should get paid more. Then he got absolutely crushed. But it's a good discussion. I think ultimately all the Grand Slams have equal pay, and I would love to see women play five.

That would be awesome. Let's just talk about the pay thing. It's pretty impressive, really, that tennis is the only sport where it is very close to being equal. It's the same in the Grand Slams. It's exactly the same in all the four Grand Slams. I've been interested in women's tennis my whole life. As I said, there were things that lived inside me as a young boy.

Yeah, you're right, because even watching it from a young kid, too, I never differentiated, like, that's women's, that's men's. I just liked watching tennis. I think it's the only sport where you don't have to sell it, the women's side of the sport, and go, well, they're just as good as blah, blah, blah. No, it's been – always seems to have been that way, where people enjoy watching female. Why is that there's my next question why over other sports billy billy gene king i mean billy gene king is the short answer which is also the name

of the tennis center where the u.s open is played i mean i wasn't sure forest if you were asking about the tennis center or Arthur Ashe Stadium. But Billie Jean King is an enormous, enormous, enormous reason why there is close to equal pay. It's one of the only sports you'll watch on TV. They'll cut to a women's match, cut to a men's match, cut to a women's match, cut to a men's match. Can you imagine if the NBA did that? A lot of broken TVs. I mean, it'd be like Celtics-Lakers fourth quarter. Let's check in on the Minnesota Sphinx-Detroit Shock game.

No way. Blown layup. Yeah, and also, I never even thought they played the majors at the same time, too, because I wasn't even thinking about that. Because women's golf is not as popular as men's. It's getting more popular, but they don't play the same majors, the same courses. They don't cross back and forth. I never even really thought about that either.

It's just a thing. It's the only sport. I prefer watching women's tennis because it's a little slower, and I'm a little slower. Yeah. Right? So I can actually do a bit more. Yeah, it's a more digestible I mean

like Nick Kyrgios, he's great to watch. He's hitting 20 aces a match. That goes very fast. Sometimes it's monotonous and then I would love to watch two Russians like Russian women battling out in the baseline.

It's just a great match. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Am I going to get in trouble for impersonating Nick Kyrgios? No. I don't think so. Oh, no. It's an Australian thing. Yeah, but I'm doing a Greek twang.

Who are the big three in men's tennis? I don't know if this was all time or not. Jim said McEnroe, Sampras, Federer. Then he said Pat Cash, Pat Rafter, Leighton Hewitt. Leighton Hewitt. What that's referring to is Federer, Nadal, Djokovic, who I think Jim called Djokic. Yeah, I mean, these last three, big three,

are the all-time leaders in Grand Slam, and it's because of this current era. But I like that he said, hey, let's talk about who's the greatest of all time. And I love that Mark Philippous's name showed up. What? The Scud, man. He was also...

Wait, that was his nickname? Yeah, the Scud. Yeah, he had a very powerful serve that just sort of skimmed off a little bit. It didn't have a bounce to it. It just hit the ground and skimmed. Still not 100% sure. Loved to play with his shirt off,

and he was a crowd favorite. By crowd favorite, I mean a Costa favorite. The girls like Mark Filippousis. Yeah, they did. I think he might have dated Kornikova for a bit. He did alright, Filippousis.

You just mentioned the leader in Grand Slam. That was a question there. Who's won the most Grand Slam titles as a male and a female? Jim said Federer and Pavlova. I don't think Pavlova. Yeah, Martina Pavlova. That's a made-up name, but yeah. Djokovic just became the leader after winning the French Open,

and I think it's 24. Scott will definitely know the answer to that. And is it Serena Williams? Is that Martina Nat Ravalova? What the fuck are these names? Actually, Jim, you should know the women's all-time leader because it's a female Australian who has come out publicly and said some quite controversial things,

in particular around homosexual marriage. That's our girl don't be upset with margaret court margaret court she has some opinions she never liked playing with billy jean king in her ways wait is that true she used to play against she was like billy jean king's main rival margaret, I didn't know she was controversial. No, Margaret Court. I think she was the original one that they wanted to have the battle of the sexes with and she didn't want to get involved and Billie Jean King got

involved and blah, blah. There's a movie with Steve Carell. But Margaret Court sort of, oh, I think it's a bit unnatural and unnecessary and, you know, and then she makes some like sponge cake and she's an old school australian woman um correct who is considered the greatest of all time as a male jim said bjorn bork and as a female he said monica sellis right before she was stabbed it's the only boring is what is one of the all-time greats but he's nowhere near the leaderboard in grand slams uh he famously bankrupt himself and had to sell his wimbledon trophies just so he could put food on the table after his tennis

career but he also retired very young didn't he he retired very young so beyond book i said beyond book at his peak he was unbeatable he had a very low resting heart rate. McEnroe used to lose his shit at that cunt, man. You couldn't beat Bjorn Borg. Who would you say it is then? Jokovic? Yeah, Jokovic. I didn't realize Forrest's question was, who has the lowest resting heart rate? That would be me. The doctor said dangerously so. It's actually 23 for Djokovic.

And Nadal has 22, Federer 20. What about Agassi? What did Agassi get? Sam Prez was the guy when I was growing up. Sam Prez was the guy that there was an era there that they couldn't really compare the tennis players because they went from wooden rackets to fiberglass or whatever, you know, graphite. Look at this thing. Look at this.

Look at this thing. I mean, it literally here. Hold on a second. When I asked things, they actually would warp. So you had to put them in these things. This is exactly right. You have this wooden thing with these screws on it. So my father, when I was about 14, I was like,

could I have a tennis racket to go play tennis? And my dad's like, don't worry about it. I've got one. And then my dad gave me a wooden racket with one of those brackets on that you tie it on like that. I didn't know that's why that. I've seen those rackets before. I always assumed, because when I played, we had the graphite ones,

but I always assumed that was just to protect it. I didn't know that was to keep it from warping. Yeah, I mean, I'm almost certain this one is warped, because I bought it at an antique shop, but I mean, can you kind of tell? It's warped, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're saying, because the older players were playing with that, if they had the technology of these rackets.

Well, you can't compare even a McEnroe to a Sampras to a Jokovic. Now the technology is... Same with golf. Baseball. Yeah. Well, baseball technology hasn't changed, Jack. But the training's changed. I'm talking about

actual things you're holding. The bats are just wooden sticks, mate. Alright. Where it was most interesting was jimmy connors started his career with one of these guys and he finished his career with this aluminum heavy beast but there was a time when you didn't know what he was going to bring to the match so there was this is he going to go old school or is he going to bring this like futuristic wilson i think it was called the t2000 i mean this thing was like 60 pounds it was like you know but

that's exactly when it switched over and the modern game became much different and then the greatest female tennis player of all time, who would that be? Well, look, I posted a video that Serena Williams is not the greatest player of all time because Margaret Court holds the record, and I got absolutely killed. What a surprise.

It became cultural based off of what I said. Yeah, not by me, mate. Serena Williams is without a surprise. It became cultural based off of what I said. Yeah, not by me, mate. Bloody lovely Margaret. Yes, Serena Williams is without a doubt the best female tennis player to ever play the sport, but she doesn't hold the record for the most amount of Grand Slams. Wow. Maybe her name was Margaret Court.

Yeah. She's quite an amazing name. That's what they named the court after, I thought. Yeah, like you don't get anyone called David Football, Baseball Diamond. Or what about a tennis player named Tennis Sangren? There's also a female whose last name is Volley Nets. Wow. Volley Nets?

Wait, Volley N? Volley nets? Look it up. Google volley nets tennis player. It's hilarious. There was an American swimmer called Misty Hyman. So that's a fun name. I mean, Usain Bolt has a pretty fast last name. Oh, I tell you, I went to Jamaica one time on a cruise

and I had like a day off. You know, you get into the port and then you get into a taxi and he goes, oh, for $50 I'll show you all of Jamaica. I'm like, all right, I'll do this. So I get in the car and then he took me, he goes, here is the school where Usain Bolt used to run. I was like, oh, the tour's come off pretty good. It started, that's pretty good. That's Usain Bolt's to run. I was like, ah, two has come off pretty good. It started, that's pretty good.

That's Usain Bolt school. I'm in. And then the next one, he goes, there's the university that has seven computers in it. I'm not kidding. That was what he said.

Seven computers. It's like an Earth dive. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, oh, fuck, this tour is going to shit.

And I was there. I was there with my ex. And then we go to the next thing. He goes, because we came in on a cruise ship. The next thing he stops us off, he goes, there's the airport. And then we go to the next thing. He goes, because we came in on a cruise ship. The next thing he stops us off. He goes, there's the airport. Planes come in there from all over the world.

And my girlfriend took a fucking photo. I'm like, we just, we flew to the boat that we got on. What is the term used when a player wins all four Grand Slam titles in a single year, and then what about in their career? Jim said EGOT. I think that's wrong. EGOT. Is that a calendar slam, and is that a career slam?

I guess so, yeah. Yeah, that sounds right. Calendar slam. Yeah, I mean, so, yeah, if you win all four in a row, starting with the Australian Open, which is is the first grand slam of the year they would call that winning the grand slam yeah that's what i always thought yeah but if you don't do it in calendar order they would call it a calendar slam very impressive yeah a career glance yeah okay and has anyone ever done it in a calendar year yeah oh yeah yeah actually that's a good follow-up question for jim

uh a australian player who he may have mentioned already has won two of those yep yep yep yep yep yep who is it and you may you may have sold out his rod laver rod laver the rod yeah he's our most successful one rod laver he's he's our number one he's our number Rod Laver. Rod Laver. Oh, Rod Laver. Rod Laver. The Rod Laver. Yeah, he's our most successful one, Rod Laver. He's our number one. He's our number one, Blake. Tweener? What is that?

That's when you're at net and someone hits the ball over your head and you run back and you hit the ball back in between your legs. And as a man, it takes particular skill because you can hit your penis head very very hard oh or with a big girl she does it wrong she can lose a racket i love that shot that's a fan favorite the tweener i didn't know that's what it's a fan favorite, the tweener. I didn't know that's what it was called. It's a fan favorite, and let's be honest, that's harder for men. That one's harder for men. That's why they get paid more. Yeah, exactly.

Just that shot. What do you call a woman who can spread her legs from one end of a tennis court to another? What? A net. All right, moving on. Cut that out, Jack. I may not be able to serve up a tennis ball, but I can serve up the laughs. What is Hawkeye? Brett Tippy's back. Oh, no, I might not be able to serve up a tennis ball, but I can serve up the laughs. What is Hawkeye?

Brett Tippy's back. Oh, no, I know what Hawkeye is. Okay, stop. I gave a bullshit answer. Hawkeye is the computer sensor that will tell you whether the ball lands within the line, whether it's in or out. Let's go to Hawkeye.

And then they check. Yeah. Is that right? So I get another point. I'm up to eight and a half. That's correct. Let me add a fun fact to Hawkeye. And then they check. Yeah. Is that right? So I get another point. I'm up to eight and a half. That's correct. Let me add a fun fact to that, though. There is a plus or minus differential on that thing.

So it's basically guessing where the ball landed. Very, very precisely guessing. But it isn't the end all, be all. There's like a plus or minus three millimeters or something but both parties the umpire the sport agree we use it and it's absolutely 100 changed the game of tennis if hawkeye was in existence when john mackinrow played tennis we wouldn't even have john mackinrow i mean yeah he was screaming at the umpires because they fucked up the calls so often, which they did. The sport has completely changed because of Hawkeye, and I think it's much, much

better and much fairer. I believe we're three years away, that close, three years away from doing this with baseball. The strike zone is already there. Isn't the strike zone kind of already there on TV? It's already there on TV. We know with accuracy. And they show it.

They show when the ball's outside and then you can complain about it. The technology already exists. I'll tell you, so if you want to see technology in sport, there's no sport that beats cricket. Cricket's got fucking everything it's got too much stuff and each season they bring in a new thing what do you what do you need the fancy

stuff for in this okay so you got you got the snickometer right which is something you listen to like you look at a sound wave if it goes like that it means it did hit the bat so let's go to the snicko that's great then you go to. Hotspot is where we go into black and white, and we go into fucking... I'm not telling... We go into black and white, and we go into night goggle vision, right? And you see if the ball leaves, like,

a little hotspot on the bat, like, whether it did touch the bat or not. Wow. So you can see... It's like a thermal camera. Yeah, a thermal camera, so hotspot. Then you've got another one that's like Hawkeye, which actually does the trajectory of the ball

to see whether it be LBW, leg before wicket. Oh, and they put in there for a while, they put the microphones into the stumps, but it turns out all the Australian players were saying cunt a lot. And they were filming all day around these things. I heard the US military watches cricket just to try to see new, innovative ways.

There's two bits of technology in the world that will always progress, and it's cricket commentary and toothbrushes. Every time you get a toothbrush, they'll go, this has got new bristles that face this way, that way, this way, with a tapered head and a thing. Every year, toothbrush technology keeps going.

Let's keep going with these questions. What is the term for a shot in tennis that is hit before the ball bounces? Volley. I think Jim got that right. I'm a serve volleyer, man. That's great. I asked this question you never answered. What is the name of the line at the back of the tennis court, Jim?

Oh, God. The serve line. Yeah. No. No, no. Back, back line. Liney line. No, it's the, it's the baseline and there's the service line is up front, even though you serve behind the baseline. You know what I reckon? Again, all of this was designed so poor people wouldn't learn it. I reckon you get rid of the doubles bits on the side and just paint them in when you need them.

Like just at the end when you do the doubles. Because, you know, the Woodies... Oh, more Australian. Okay, so Australia was in the doldrums of tennis for a very long time, right? But we had these two blokes called Woodbridge and Woodford, I think their names were. And their names were the Woodies.

And they never got far individually. They were fine tennis players. They were ranked top 50 blokes or something. They never got very far individually. But in the doubles, they fucking dominated. And they won Wimbledon like 11 times or some shit. The Woodies, check them out. It should be

a movie talking to me i'm talking to everybody i'm talking to me talking about 150 000 people right now is accurate is this woody stuff accurate michael yeah the woody stuff is very accurate i mean the woodford wood what's so funny about them is those guys would walk into a restaurant in New York City and they'd be told they have to wait two hours for a table. But they were world famous in Australia and everywhere else because they were such excellent doubles players. But obviously Americans don't give a shit about that. Well, they lived in Florida for the tax breaks.

Oh, okay. But they made a shit for the tax breaks. Oh, okay. That's the career, man. They made a shit ton of fucking money and weren't that famous. Yeah, it's honest. I just saw something from 2020. It says the greatest tennis duo, the Woodies, are no longer on speaking terms. Yeah, they don't talk to each other, the Woodies.

A lot of drama. They don't talk to each other, the Woodies. It turns out they were lovers the whole time. Wow. We talked about the Battle of Texas and Curios. Oh, the famous tennis stadium located in Flushing Meadows, New York. You were saying there was two different things there, right? I think it's called the USDA Billie Jean King Tennis Center,

and the biggest stadium in the world is the Arthur Ash stadium center court let me let me reverse it quickly to this battle of the sexes oh okay sorry because Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs in that match and I don't want to rain on anyone's parade Billie Jean King was a her prime at that point. Bobby Riggs was known as a bit of a gambler. As somebody who first made his load of money betting on himself to win Wimbledon, which he did. But there are some theories that he may have thrown that match to Billie Jean King. I knew a woman couldn't win! And the movie did not discuss this, really. Damn. They can't let that come out.

That'll probably set the women's movement back months. Bobby Riggs used to go to Central Park in New York when he was the number one player in the world. And you can see photographs of this. And he would bet people thousands of of this and he would bet people thousands of dollars except they would be allowed to handicap him there's a picture of him playing a guy in central park holding 10 dogs on a leash because that was the handicap that they came up with another guy put like six park benches on his side of the court and Bobby would have to jump over them to hit the ball this guy was the ultimate showman and it's interesting conversation did he

throw the battle of the sexes I don't know and I would guess no but it's an interesting conversation and then so that's the biggest tennis venue in the world is the stadium the stadium itself yeah yeah yeah um he was the first i think it's 20 000 i think it's 20 000 probably it's like just under 24 000 first athlete to have something built for him i went that in the movie yeah who's that day arthur ash had his own tennis rack this is the arthur ash tennis and that sort of inspired the michael jordan shoe oh really was that a good movie it was all right yeah yeah. Good dad film. You know, you sit down My dad loved that movie.

It's a bit of business, a bit of sport but no one's being active. You know why the movie airs a good dad movie? Because the hero is a fat bloke who knows a bit about sport. I don't know if he was fat in real life, but Matt Damon decided to play him that way.

Yeah, so I guess it's around 24,000, you said, Arthur? Yeah, just under. In comparison, the Chicago Bulls, which is the largest basketball arena, is like 20,197. Oh, so I went way. I should have. Rod Laver, 40,000.

It's too big, though. Yeah? It's too big. They shouldn't have made it that big. We can't see anything. It's a small sport. The tennis ball is tiny. Don't be fooled that one behind me is is extra big uh i thought in my opinion arthur ash is way too big i i feel the same way for comedy and that's why i don't play arenas anymore that's right and it sounds bad i like to play those small, intimate rooms for you, the people.

And how long was the longest tennis match? Do we know who it was between and how long it was? I would say it was the three-day match between John Isner and Nicholas Mahout that was 68, 66 in the fifth fifth set and it was probably played 10 years ago. Three days. They just kept having to stop it. It was like 11 hours or something over the course of three days.

They had a rain delay and then this was back in the day when the fifth set would not go to a tiebreaker. They would just keep playing until someone won by two, but because the serves were so good and the grass was so fast nobody could ever break serve so literally the match fucking went on forever as a guy who loves tennis it was the most boring shit i've ever seen in my life oh i love it okay so i was i was in melbourne when the australian open was on last and i remember because curious got got injured like before you haven't set on for court or something and there was games that were going to

like one in the morning like stupid shit because they put them on at night for television or tell me stuff and they're like rain delay or whatever and then it was like one or two in the morning that games are going great story I learned something okay this is a part of our show called dinner party facts we ask our expert to give us a fact, something obscure, interesting, that our audience can use to impress people about the subject. Do you have something for us, Michael Kosta? Oh, that's right.

I was supposed to come up with something, wasn't I? Just give us a Philip Pousis one. I'll give you a Philip Pousis one. One time he bought a car, didn't like it, left it on the side of the road. He had that much money. He did. Brand new sports car, he just left it on the side of the road. I have an interesting fact that not a lot of people know that it involves this subject when i finished college i wanted

to play professional tennis and my dad was like great um i'm done paying for shit and if you want to play pro tennis we we believe in you. We support you, but not financially. So I sold shares of Michael Kosta's professional tennis career for $5,000 a share. And I raised around $180,000. And that's what I ended up playing for two and a half years on the tour with were these people that invested in me and my career. And I gave them my prize money. two and a half years on the tour with were these people that invested in me and my career and i gave them my prize money so uh it's something that golfers do but tennis players don't typically do that but that's kind of an interesting uh wait a minute wait a minute so so what happened if you

became a very successful tennis player would have you because that's like investing in apple five thousand dollars a fucking share so if you become world number one and i invested five thousand dollars i'd want to be a fucking millionaire right so yeah well so what in my case it was it was like them investing in gateway computers or whatever but uh there was a contract there there was a 10-year contract of the breakdown of my prize money distribution if, fingers crossed, I were to make shitloads of money. And the first year I gave them like 50%, then the next year I gave them 40%. It was all signed and, you know, it was legit.

But there are real success stories like this in golf in particular. And did any of them get any of that five thousand dollars back yeah yeah they people got about half back i jokingly said i made eleven thousand dollars over three years that's just in like atp sanctioned events um i see that i froze you're good here you're good here uh did you ever have did you ever have endorsements yes he's saying he made more money than that though yeah that's whatments? Yes. He was saying he made more money than that, though. Yeah, that's what you were saying, Michael? No, I made more money than that. So I would say everybody got about half their money back.

I played with Prince Tennis Rackets. I played with Nike clothes, but I didn't make any money. They didn't give me money. They gave me clothes and they gave me rackets. That's it. No money. Oh, that's not good. All right.

All right. Well, thanks for being here, Michael Costa. Again, please listen to his podcast Tennis Anyone everywhere you listen to podcasts and go to MichaelKosta.com for all his upcoming tour dates and watch his special too his comedy special Michael Kosta Detroit

New York LA it's available on Paramount Plus and YouTube and follow him on IG and Twitter Michael Kosta thank you Michael thanks for having me that was a good laugh man thanks for being on the show michael are you about to say thanks about to say bye if you ever had a party and someone comes up to you and goes uh margaret court didn't win the most amount of things serena williams did go well i don't know about that and then you walk up to another girl in the bar and

go hello love i'm 40 40, love. How you doing? Thank you, bye. Thanks, Michael. Bye.