I Don't Know About That - The Olympics with Professor Mark Dyreson

Episode Date: June 16, 2020

In this episode, the team covers the Olympics with the help of Professor Mark Dyreson.   Thanks to our sponsors Blue Chew (code Jim), Shipstation (code Jim), Babbel (code Jim), and Policy Genius.   Check out Mark's book, "Marking the American Team: Sport, Culture, and the Olympic Experience."   Follow Us:   Jim Jefferies Website: www.jimjefferies.com Jim Jefferies Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies/?hl=en Jim Jefferies Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies/ Jim Jefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies Forrest Shaw Website: www.forrestshaw.net Forrest Shaw Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrestshaw/ Forrest Shaw Twitter: https://twitter.com/forrestshaw Kelly Blackheart Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellyblackheart/   Jack Hackett Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Jack_hackett/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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This could all be on. I don't know about that. The Jim Jefferies. Aloha. First thing I'm going to teach you, that means hello and goodbye in Hawaii. So if you take anything from the podcast, you've already got that bit of information. Working one of those, you're really onto something. You're a regular Hawaiian folk.

I'm Jim Jefferies. Welcome to the show. If you're a regular listener, I think this is episode six or five or something like that, thank you for joining us all the time. If you're a first-time listener, where have you been? Where have you been? You've missed some good topics. Hey, remember cheese?

Wasn't that good, eh? I'll never forget cheese. Yeah, remember cheese. I'll tell you what I did on the way here. I did a little recap of my day. I woke up, potted around a little bit, did some homeschooling with my son. As I said, I can't teach a seven-year-old. I don't know how to do this

is a big surprise because he has math and it's like it's like 22 plus 27 and i'm like that's 49 right like i just add it up right and he's like that's not how you add it up i go it is how you add it up you think of the two numbers you mesh them together and off you go right mesh them together mesh them together or you get the two 20s and then you go. Mesh them together? Yeah, mesh them together. Or you get the two 20s and then you add them up individually and then you get the other two parts and you add them up. That's how I do it, right? And he's like, no.

And I go, oh, there's something to do with carry the one. Remember how you used to have to carry the one? You don't have to carry a one in that equation you just did, though. They don't carry the one anymore. There's a thing they do off to the side. They've changed math. Yeah, Common Core, I think, it's changed the way that they do math.

Right. Well, I can't teach a seven-year-old math. I had to Google how to do it, and I was still a bit confused, a little bit confused. Can't teach a seven-year-old math. I wonder how the strippers are doing. Not good.

No, not good. I don't know if you're aware of it. I feel like the cocaine dealers, the strippers, and the prostitutes are having a hell of a time. Although the cocaine dealers probably, they'll be all right. They're doing fine. Everybody's at home, and they're like, can you come over now?

I'll be there in seven minutes. Well, I know the weed and the mushroom dealers are going through the roof. I'm holding up that whole company. That was funny when they said essentials, they listed liquor stores and the weed dispensaries. Well, because people have it as medicine, man. Yeah. Yeah.

Liquor? I wonder if there are any strippers doing shows like via Zoom, like comics are. Yeah, that's webcamming. No, but it's like a whole Zoom thing where they get all their stripper friends. I've invented this idea, right, where women get on the other side of. I've invented this idea, right?

Where women get on the other side of a camera and they take their clothes off and men watch via the internet. I meant like an entire lineup. For Corona. A lineup? Yeah, like the comedy shows on Zoom. But the girls can't be together either. No, I'm saying each of them are logged in at their home and it's like now call in chastity to the Zoom.

Yeah, you're like a flyer with all your faces on it. One of my favorite things my dad ever said my dad thinks he invented my dad invented the mixtape right and i'll tell you why right he came into me i was about 18 i was sitting in the couch he comes he goes i've got an idea and i said what is he goes you know how you buy an album right and it's all just the one artist you bought right right? And some of the songs you don't like. And then there's a couple of songs where you go, they're good songs. But that's what you buy the album for, two or three songs. Here's an idea.

One album with a whole lot of different artists. But it's just their best song. And I go, is that what they're called? Combination albums. They already exist. He goes, not with the songs I want. Gary's Summer Jams of 74. Gary's road trip mix.

We should talk to him and make that tape. We should introduce everyone. Forrest Shaw. Hey, yeah, I'm Forrest Shaw. Jack Hackett. Hello. Jack Hackett also knows nothing about the topics we're about to talk about. Kelly Black.

What is the Blackheart thing? I've never asked you this. I had a situation years ago that I lost $12,000 by having my real name on social media. And also my nudes got posted online too. So I just didn't want my real name on social media anymore. So I go by Blackheart. Do you already give that information out publicly? Because now people are going to be Googling.

They're gone. Oh, okay. That's good. It was like seven years ago. I had a person once threatened to release, I think I just talked about this in a stand-up special, wanting to release a sex tape of me and some nude photos they took.

They were going to release them. And I was like, go ahead. Who wants to watch that like is there a big market for that just me just like in the shower just washing my balls like it's like number one pamela anderson number two kim kardashian number three jim jeffries yeah yeah no one wants to see my sex tape i don't want to see my i've had sex tapes that i watch myself back and then delete them i'm like like she was better for everyone she was doing a fine job but i really let that whole situation down i'm not an attractive naked man i've never had a good body in my whole

life i've never had a body where i've gone that was pretty good then that was like me at me at 19 never not never it's never been good it's been variations on shit right it's it's always been portioned like this like a little belly no chest no ass and then it's sort of everything grew out the same distance bigger belly still no i can get i could gain 200 pounds and have no ass and i'm happy with that i'm proud of that i i i'm not i'm not a big ass fan i'm not i'm not part of the the kim kard Kim Kardashian era of men. Women back in the day used to go, does my ass look fat in that? And I used to lie and say no.

And now if you say no, it's an insult. Now you're meant to say, oh, yeah, it does. I've got a nice ass. Yeah, you've got a nice ass. Forrest, something that people don't know about Forrest, he gets his jeans tailored. Yeah, I think people might know that. You don't know about Forrest. He gets his jeans tailored. Yeah. I think people might know that.

No, maybe they don't. Well, you can talk about it. Do you want to tailor your jeans? No one does, Forrest. They sell them in so many... Actually, on the Jim Jefferies show, I tailored my jeans. No, I think you're supposed to bring in the legs a little bit and stuff. Bring in the legs? Yeah, yeah.

You've got the widest thighs I've ever seen in a person. I have to get jeans that are really wide on the top, and then they're wide on the bottom, and I don't want it to make it look like I have these big, wide jeans, so I tailor them in. Right. Does the website you buy your jeans also sell oversized shoes and bow ties that spin around?

I get my jeans at a regular store. Clowns are us. All right. We have a guest. Forrest, please introduce our guest. Our guest today is Mark Dyruson. Dyruson. Dyruson.

I'm sorry. Mark Dyruson. Oh, I know. You specialize in vacuums. Boom shakalaka. Thatyruson. I'm sorry. Mark Dyruson. Oh, I know. You specialize in vacuums. Boom shakalaka. That's Dyson. Oh, fuck. We don't advertise with Dyson,

but I won't buy a different vacuum. Hello, Mark. The other vacuums don't try to come on the show, buddy. I tell you what, the Dyson, they're not going to improve on that. Okay.

That being said, it's not a vacuum. Okay. Mark, hello. How are you doing? Welcome to the show. Good, I'm doing well. Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming to the show, Mark.

All right, so here's the part of the show we call Judging a Book by Its Cover, where Jim will try to guess what you do by asking yes or no questions. You only have to answer yes or no. We may give him a hint at the end, and he still probably won't get it, but it's fun. I'm trying, okay. Do you work at a university? Yes. You're trying. Okay. Do you work at a university? Yes. You're a janitor. He's who Good Will Hunting was based on.

Yeah. How do you like them apples? I've never understood that. Do you like apples? How do you like them apples? I don't get it. Is there a joke that I'm missing? No, that's a saying.

Like, how do you think about these? Or how do you like them apples? That's like a saying. What does that mean? It's kind of's a saying. Like, how do you think about these apples? How do you like them apples? That's like a saying. What does that mean? It's kind of like. It's like, how do you like this? Yeah, like in your face. What about apples?

Why apples? It's just a saying. It probably came from somewhere. Yeah, in America. It's not rhyming slang. Okay, so you're not goodwill hunting. Are you a professor at the university? Yes.

Yes, okay. Do you teach a course where, a practical course where people can get jobs afterwards? No. Ah, right. Okay. That makes things a bit weird. Pottery. He's a pottery professor.

Yeah, yeah. I had a friend who studied american cartoons at university like what the what what type of fucking mickey mouse course is that anyway um as a professor in cj no i'm kidding uh okay so it's something that people can't get job so i'm gonna say that you're a uh a doctor in philosophy that's your final answer that's my final answer lock it in that's incorrect uh mark introduce yourself tell us what you do and then i i do have a doctorate in philosophy as we all do that's phd is doctor in philosophy but mine is in history i am a sport historian at penn state university wow a sport historian at penn state i reckon the last sort of 10 years has been a ropey bit of history for you to talk about.

There's been some interesting happenings. Today, we're going to be talking about the Olympics, Jim. Okay, all right. Yeah, the Olympics. And this is what Mark has come here to talk to us about. I think I know a lot about the Olympics. Mark has written some books, too, just by the way. Books on the Olympics that he's published.

Making the American Team, Sport Culture and the Olympic Experience and Crafting Patriotism for Global Domination, America at the Olympic Games. So those two books, specifically on the Olympics. And there's another book. Right, but we're not going to be talking just about America in the Olympic Games. No, Olympics in general. Everything to do with Olympics we're going to be talking about.

And here's what we're going to do now. Mark, Jim is going to tell us everything he knows about the Olympics. I'll prod him along with some questions. And then at the end, you're going to grade him 1 through 10 on accuracy. And like I said before, please be fair. I mean, please be harsh if you need to. You don't have to be nice. Kelly's going to grade him 1 through 10 on what is it?

Confidence. Confidence. And I'm going to grade you 1 through 10 on how you're dressed today. And Jack's got to eat a sandwich. I'm changing it up, Jim. I'm going to change the topic. 1 through 10 on what is it? Confidence. Confidence. And I'm going to grade you 1 through 10 on how you're dressed today. And Jack's got to eat a sandwich. I'm changing it up, Jim. I'm going to change the topic. 1 through 10 on how you're dressed today. You're pretty good today.

So we'll see. I've been doing different hats. Yeah. So here's a... Because believability and confidence is almost the same. I'll come up with something else next week. So we'll add those all up together, 1 through 10. 10 being the best.

And the three of them together, 30 is the best score you can get. So if you get 26 through 30... I'll be michael phelps exactly that's what i have yeah uh 20 through 25 bob costas because it seems like he knows a lot about the olympics i don't know he's hosting it all the time 13 through 19 you're just a regular medalist 7 through 12 eddie the eagle and 0 through 6 elizabeth sweeney i used to date michael phelps's ex-girlfriend i did a routine about that i know that's why i put that in there you remember her i remember her she was fun um yeah i used to date michael phelps's ex-girlfriend i always think when i'm shagging i'm not doing a good job like a guy whose profession is holding his breath better than anyone and the stamina

yeah and he used to eat like they reckon 10 000 calories a day he's eating chocolate bars and stuff like that and i was just you were doing that too i was i was at my health's worst at that stage that was the height of my substance abuse days and uh no i was sweating like a banshee i don't know you scream like a banshee but all that screaming must make you sweaty. So I'll give you the bare bones of the Olympics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First off, you don't have to tell us what the Olympics are. I think you know what the Olympics are. But let's just start with like, what year were the first Olympics?

Okay, they were in Athens, the first Olympics. The first Olympics were in Greece, where everyone actually ran naked, because, and it was just men who could compete at the time. And they were in, I don't know that. I'm going to, I'll give it a go. I'm going to say they were in 1818. 18, 18, like AD? Oh, right.

We're talking about the ancient Olympics is the one you're talking about. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was, that wasn't, I was meaning in the, okay. So I'm going to go, I'm going to go 2000 AD. 2000, that's, 2000 AD would just happen like 19 years ago. Oh, 200 AD. Your believability is way in the tank. Anyway, anyway. 200 AD, okay, and then they were brought into the modern era when?

In 1818. I just got mixed up on those. Yeah, yeah. All right. And then, okay. And so where were they started and why were they started? They were started in Greece, right? Because tourism.

They wanted more people. No, something to do. Greece is like, how do we get people over here i've been to athens we went to athens we gigged in athens fucking hell athens it's got all the it's got all the history in the world it's got all the the places that people want to visit and no infrastructure people are visiting and they're like we go where's the coliseum oh the coliseum where's the pantheon and all that type of we are at the acropolis the acropolis right and they go oh it's up there in that hill a bit have you got a map or

anything i take a photo of this photocopied one we've left on the wall literally what they did right and there's like it's the middle of the day on like a tuesday there's all this construction stuff up around it no one working working. No one fucking doing. And there's just cats wandering around. There's just cats everywhere wandering around. And then you go down and you visit. But it's still packed because I know people want to go there. People still go. How they had the Olympics there a couple of Olympics ago is beyond me.

I think it was the last Olympics, right? Oh, no. It was some time ago. Yeah, it was some time ago. It's beyond me. It was just the marathon people must have Beach have been running over homeless people, getting chewing gum on their shoes. Like, it's not running well, Athens.

Also, it's the only place in the world where my show had to be like 10 p.m. It had to be really late at night because we had dinner at 2 in the morning. Oh, yeah, yeah. Not good. All right. Anyway, but nice people, great crowd, really enjoyed it. There was a child in the front row who was six, and I said, I'm not comfortable with that.

And they said, the parents are fine. I said, I don't care about the parents. I'm going to be swearing and telling sex stories, and I'd rather a child not be sitting there. The compromise we ended on was this. She would watch her iPad with earphones. Anyway. So tourism, that's what you're saying.

No, it was, of course, tourism was a joke, Forrest. I know it started. It started because of the Greek gods and their competition, and they wanted to win the heart of Athena. Next question. Did they compete in the nude? You already said they competed in the nude. They competed in the nude.

They competed in the nude. And the Olympic flame, they say it never goes out that's not true they get off the sun and a little solar dish in athens and they put the torch in then they grease it up a bit and the sun reflects off it it's the the olympic flame never goes out in our hearts that's what happens there but it does go out and also it didn't in in barcelona when they shot the arrow the guy didn't hit he shot over he shot over and there was just a person there to ignite it. And in Sydney, when, when, when Kathy Freeman came out and they made it look like she walked on water,

right. And she went out and lit it. The thing stopped for a bit and it stopped and everyone thought it was for tension. Nah, it was fucked. And a boat with a broom got underneath it, gave it a bit of a poke till the mechanism started working and then it went up and everyone went woo like that right and and muhammad ali when he lit it he wasn't working either i hear he burned his hand in the land he's just holding there burning it everyone's going this is fantastic he would have shaked any either way

he was he was on fire all right All right. When were the medals created? When did that come into play? The medals came in the third. If you were aware. In the fourth Olympics, right? And they were in the fourth Olympics. You could be right. Yeah, they were in the fourth Olympics in Tokyo.

They were in the fourth Olympics. They still kept it in Greece. In the fourth Olympics, they went, hey, give him a disc or something because they're trying to unionize and get paid to be athletes. It's the same as the Oscars. The actors all wanted a pay rise. So they got together and they went, give them a fucking trophy. These people are so vain, they'll fucking dig it. And they went, oh, how about a trophy? Ooh competition and trophy right so so to be in the olympics for the most part although it's changed with like the dream team and stuff like that you're meant to be an amateur athlete you're not meant to be a paid person but there are sports

they have in there they have tennis and they have basketball and there's different sports that are but for the most part you're meant to be an amateur athlete and so maybe they brought it in so the amateurs didn't go i should should get paid for running real quick, right? And then they said, it was in Greece, of course, so they said, for running real quickless, right? That's how they talk, right? For running really quickless, I deserve some money. And they said, how about this shiny disc if you win?

And then the person went, oh, well, I get money from second. How about this silver dish? And then the guy's third. I won't get anything. They go, throw him a bit of copper. So they're worth money, the medals? Like it's a real gold in the gold medals? It is real gold in the gold medals, yeah.

The whole thing is solid gold? No, not solid gold. No, no, no, no, no. How much are the medals worth, do you think, if you just sold it online? If you were to sell it online, depending on the sport, depending on the athlete, it could go anywhere from $4,000 to $200,000. It's in that price range right there, depending on the athlete, the event.

See, if you got Michael Jordan's gold medal from the Barcelona Olympics, that's $300,000. I think he's got it, though. Yeah, but if he was to sell it. Okay. I think Michael Jordan needs to sell his medals. If he was hard up and after the documentary, he went, look, the gambling thing was out of control.

I did have a problem. I can't sell enough shoes. Okay, let's move on. And then what do the five different color Olympic rings represent? They stand for the five continents on the earth. Okay. And then what's up? You didn't even give me a tick then.

Forrest just underlined something. I just write stuff down and remember what we talked about. I know that it's something. It might stand. I don't know if that's correct, but I know there's something. The colors, what do the colors represent? The different colors of people around the world. Nailed it.

You've got your reds. You've got your yellows. You've got your greens. I thought that was a good idea. There's a white ring, a black ring. The only one that's a bit tricky is green. But back in the day when there was a lot of Lyme disease, the greens represented very well.

I'm going to ask you a few more questions, and I'll have represented very well. I'm going to ask you a few more questions, and I'll have some more questions later, but just I'll ask you a few more questions, tell me everything else you think you know, and then we'll start talking to Mark here. Are the rumors of Olympic Village sex true, or what do you know about the sex in Olympic Village? The sex in Olympic Village, they can't give away enough condoms.

They have to throw boxes and boxes of condoms, because a lot of people, for the most part, you're allowed to stay there for the two weeks that the Olympics happen. And so if you're a marathon runner, you're like, this is shit

because you're the last event, right? And you have to think and think and eat healthy and all that type of stuff. But if you're someone who does the swimming in the first week and you're like,

I did the butterfly, lost my qualifier, now I'm going to fuck me some athletes because everyone's got really good bodies, right? The NBA players are there there you're telling me that there's no sex going on from some australian sprinter that's just like i'm gonna have a go at lebron this will be good right so that's definitely happening yeah there's loads and loads of sex happening they do have to share rooms though they

have to share like bunk beds and stuff like that the olympic village the one in homebush and sydney after it's all done they all become apartments for the most part when the olympics end these stadiums just rot and go to hell beijing's a fine example of that um okay where where the the stadium now is just covered in plants and shit and i think sochi already is already like the lose track just looks is covered in graffiti and all that type of stuff right all right sorry was that was that wrong of me to say that the australians though i you want i'm just going to keep the questions the australians still keep their stadium up and running now this is something that i'll tell you and this is something i believe and i may know more than him on this one

australia okay so the people who get most medals are the americans and the russians and that's why when russia wasn't in one of the olympics the americans just can't most medals are the Americans and the Russians, and that's why when Russia wasn't in one of the Olympics, the Americans just can't. Most medals are Americans and Russians. Americans and Russians, right? And what about break it down summer and winter? Who's got the most winter? Oh, okay.

Winter's a different bag altogether. That would be Switzerland or Sweden or something like that. One of the ones that starts with an S. It's a Swiss sound. Sweden, Switzerland, Norway, these people carve it up at the Olympic Games. I remember when Australia- More than America?

Ah, yeah. They have them, okay. I think they do more. America, see the population. Okay, per capita, Australia wins the Olympics every time. Here we go. For the amount of people-

It's like when people talk about New York pizza. I'm excited about Australia. Against the population, Australia wins for the amount of people you're like it's like when people talk about new york pizza against the population australia wins the most amount of medals of all time australia's okay i'm writing that down now your number one medal guy used to be like you got your flow joe you got your yeah the all-time winningest olympic athlete yeah flow joe is oh michael phelps okay i'll say michael phelps yeah i'll do them in order i'll say you're michael phelps yeah you're carl lewis uh-huh uh then i'll say um flojo yeah and then i'm gonna work in ian thorpe i like you just saying flojo a lot yeah ian thorpe yeah would be in there and then uh uh bunky the ice skater yeah bunky i was hoping you'd say i loved bunkie um

and then uh the olympics uh uh the tokyo one is postponed it's been postponed because i haven't even been canceled ever the olympics uh the olympics have been canceled number seven number seven what city there's there's there's been uh two, I believe three that were canceled. I don't know about that. Okay. Okay, I have no idea. I'm not even going to lie to you. That it was, boom, Seattle, Moscow, and Jerusalem.

I don't think any of those cities have had the Olympics. Because it was canceled. Seattle, Moscow, and Jerusalem. Okay, maybe Moscow. Jerusalem definitely those cities have had Olympics. Because it was canceled. Seattle, Moscow, and Jerusalem. Maybe Moscow. Jerusalem definitely didn't have the Olympics. Yeah, they did. They did. The donkey races.

Okay, one more question, and I think we're going to take a break before we do the... One more question, and then we'll go there, is how much money does a country need to spend to host the Olympics, and how much will they make? Just quick. I think they run at a loss, but it's hard to gather if you make-

How much will they spend to prepare for it? Oh, they'll spend 20 billion on the Olympics. 20 billion and they don't turn a profit? I believe that some countries turn a profit and other countries don't. It depends whether you use your infrastructure afterwards and whether it adds to tourism in the long term okay i think in the short term they may get close to breaking even but it's like okay so the world

cup in soccer makes so much money but this one in qatar will probably do fuck all the one in south africa they weren't filling the stadiums yeah so some of the shit like i think sydney did very well i think london did very well out of it. But in Tokyo, we'll do fine. But then you've got the ones where it's like, what was the one in Russia? Sochi. Who went to fucking Sochi? No one went there.

It's bleak, Jerry. It's bleak. Okay, so here's what we're going to do. We're going to take a quick break, and we'll be back with Mark Dyruson, and we're going to grade Jim on how he did. I think I did pretty good. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew.

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So Mark sat there very patiently listening to, you probably learned a few things there, Mark. Probably a bit. I did. Yeah, some things you can pass on to the young minds that you teach absolutely on a scale of one to ten mark how did jim do uh with his knowledge of the olympics well i don't know at penn state you know because we went all zoom university after spring break we modified the grading schedule uh so you could take a pass fail or get an actual grade so

does jim want an actual grade or just a pass fail i'll take a little from column a a little from column b well we need a one through ten ten being the best one through ten i'll give him uh a seven that's a pass that's a good score that's a solid c pretty good all right callie uh um confidence you know at one point you said quickopolis and so you lost some points there but then you said you might know more than mark uh so that brought you back up i'm gonna give you an eight all right okay i'm grading you on how you're dressed today um not bad black t-shirt clippers hat it looks like you might have shaved no no that's points i'm going so bald in quarantine it's falling out of my face i do like the glasses that's a running

theme now two episodes in a row i think you should wear them every week i'm gonna wear them until people get irritated and then i'm gonna keep making them more extreme until i'm like diamond or average i'm gonna give you a seven today so this might be the best score he's ever had no i think drugs was pretty high. That's a total of 22. I just meshed them all together. Give them what they want. Give them what they want.

Bob Costas. That's what we're going to call you for this one. Bob Costas, who I think Bob Costas looks like Mark Hamill's brother. Okay. Don't you think he looks a little bit like he could have been Luke Skywalker? So let's get into the Olympics. Mark, can you please tell us a little bit about the history of the Olympics, the first Olympics in ancient Greece, like what year that was, and bring that up to the modern version.

So the first ones in ancient Greece are in 776 BCE, and they're not in Athens. They're way out in the sticks in Olympia. That makes sense. Out in the middle of nowhere, they still are today. And they last till AD 394, when the Romans finally get rid of them as a pagan ritual. So they lasted for roughly 1170 years. The modern games did start in Athens in 1896, the revival. You're almost close. And went back in 2004.

Just a quick question. With these ancient Olympics, did that involve other countries or was it just Greek people in these first initial ones? You were required to be Greek. There were three requirements. You had to be male, so you were right about that. It's all men. You had to be freeborn.

You couldn't be a slave. And you had to be Greek, so they limited it to the Greeks. When Rome conquered Greece, they sort of forced it more open, and the Emperor Nero once competed at a special Olympics that they set up. Now, because they because they um they they competed naked i've met a lot of greek people i feel like there'd be a lot of wind resistance on a greek man running naked they're they're a hairy bunch they're probably a big dicks as big big dicks as well but i i reckon there'd be a lot of wind

resistance it'd be like georgie Animal Steel running down a track. Anyway, I digress. Well, they were naked and they were oiled up too. Part of it was to showcase their bodies. They covered themselves in oil before events as well as taking off all their clothes. And that's why they call anal sex Greek style. So 1896 was the modern era, the Olympics as we know it now.

That's when. Yeah. And what was the. Oh, so why were the Olympics started? Because Jim said it was tourism. And then what was your next thing? It was to please Athena. Oh, Athena.

Yeah. Well, the ancient games are religious. It's actually uh for zeus not athena all right uh they're also to train warriors and to uh build essential a sense of cultural unity among the greeks uh much like muslims today have to make the pilgrimage to mecca uh people from all over the greek world which was all of the mediterranean world felt the need at least once in a lifetime to go to ancient Olympia for a game. And what were the initial events?

There were some track and field-like games. So they had a discus throw, a javelin, foot races, but not long distances. They only cared about sprinting. They had boxing and wrestling, and they a violent mma like a thing called the pancration uh a no holds barred fight to there were a couple of deaths than that oh cool and i'm gonna throw you a curveball let's see how good you are mark right you ready when did they bring in ready when did they bring in ping pong uh not in ancient Greece. What year, what year, what year? And is it really called whiff-waff?

Oh, that's right. When we were in Asia. In Britain. We're in London. The British people are obsessed that they think they invented ping pong and it's called whiff-waff because of the sounds that the bats make. That's what they called us. They call it whiff-waff.

And Boris Johnson said that. He said, he goes, oh, we invented this. It's called whiff-waff. So was it ever called whiff-waff. And Boris Johnson said that. He said, he goes, oh, we invented this. It's called whiff-waff. So was it ever called whiff-waff? Not to my knowledge. They hate ping pong, too, so the aficionados want to call it table tennis. Yeah. Make it more.

It's a date. Yeah, yeah, because ping pong does sound racist. If you called someone a ping pong, you know what you're saying. Okay, so they did compete in the nude. We went over that. And that was just because they like to be naked, I guess. No, because they greased up to make them more streamlined, correct? No, Mike?

No. Okay. They're greased up. They compete in the nude because they think that athletes are close to the gods and their gods were anthropomorphic, human-like. So a great body meant you were close to the gods, and they wanted to showcase that their ideal of beauty was a male athletic build. Also, when it rounds, second place to hang a medal.

Jim said that medals came into play in the fourth Olympics, really. Yeah, the fourth. Number four. And number four. When were the modern medals created, as we know? Well, they're not ancient, so they're modern. The ancient Olympics only gave you an olive wreath crown, no medals. But actually, he's close.

So it's the third Olympics in St. Louis that invent the gold, silver, bronze. Wow. He just threw out four. Give them what they want, Jim. Give them what they want. So in St. Louis, they were, yeah. And they are, because that's kind of like a twofold thing. So they are definitely worth money.

Jim said they're between $4,000 and $200,000, depending who it is. But also, is that, that's in lieu of athletes getting paid? Because they don't get paid. And did the ancient Greeks and that ancient games, did they get paid? Yeah, one of the big messes, the ancient Greeks were amateurs and nothing could be further from the truth. You know, they love prizes. They love money.

So they got not from the games at Olympia themselves, but from their city-states where they trained. They got cash payments. They got women. They got houses. They got cash payments. They got women. They got houses. They got freedom from paying taxes. I've been to Greece. They'd be happy with a cotton and cigarettes.

It was a 1993 British invention to keep the lower classes, the Australians, from competing. It's coming down. This is an invention. Some fighting words. Hey, Mark, was I correct in saying that australians win the most amount of medals per capita is that correct they do better than the u.s i think if you look historically per capita australia with a smaller population does a little bit better but nowhere near as good as

say jamaica uh which uh has a tiny population and a lot of Olympic champions or small countries like that. Jamaica in your face. There's some unique outliers. A Finland in the Winter Games. But if you get rid of the bobsled teams, the Jamaicas still do as well. They do even better. The bobsled teams keeping them down.

A little side check. What's your favorite Olympic-based movie? We've got Eddie the Eagle. We've got Cool Runnings. Miracle. Miracle. There was a Nancy Caron, the I, Tonya. I, Tonya.

What's your favorite Olympic-based movie? There's a lot of good ones and a lot of bad ones. I think on the best list for me, know chariots of fire is up there lenny riefenstahl's olympiad if you can suffer through the six hours of beautiful uh bodies in that my vote for all time worse is a movie called pentathlon about the modern pentathlon that nobody cares about starring dolph lundgren as an East German who escapes to Southern California and then wins some vague Olympic modern pentathlon medal, shooting his former

East German coach, played by David Soule, with a pistol to win the gold at the very end. Don't ruin it. Don't ruin it. I haven't seen it. Hopefully Dolph doesn't listen to this podcast. We can tell you hate this, Mark. Dolph Lundgren was like, I will throw a disc. It's a fascinating movie. It really is. So bad it's good. I've got to watch that. Dolph Lundgren was like, I will throw a disc. It's a fascinating movie. It really is.

So bad. So bad, it's good. Oh, I got to watch that. Dolph Lundgren. Write that down. Pentathlon. Well, we have it recorded. Oh, yeah.

I can listen to the podcast. Why would you do that? Did you answer the torch, like where it started? The torch started. It starts in a silver dish. They grease up. Oh, yeah, I know. But like the origin of the torch, like when it started. Oh, that happened when there was a burning bush in Moses.

And I don't know when the torch started. I don't know what the idea behind that was. I always find it like when the torch is coming through your town. And like in Australia, there was always some kids who threw some eggs and stuff like that. And the prime minister got on the TV and went, they're bloody idiots. What are you doing? You're ruining it for everyone else and everyone thought those guys are legends um so so yeah when did the torch start so the olympic flame the cauldrons la and 32 but the torch starts in 1936 for the berlin olympics It was a Nazi innovation. The Nazis were trying to

connect ancient Greek civilization to Aryanism and Nazi supremacy. So they invented all the torch relay and all that jazz. Okay, so the Nazis did it. So that's the thing about the Nazis. They weren't all bad.

They did invent the torch and the Autobahnahn that's where they really peaked the torch in the autobahn you gotta give credit where credit's due they did other horrible things bad people but the torch in the autobahn when i read this i was like that this is like it's just a staple of the olympic games the torch i mean it's like the lasting image that they're running through the whole country that they do and stuff. So was it on Hitler's thing? Because I'm always fascinated by the things like Hitler

approved the Volkswagen Beetle, right? And then it was adopted by hippies as like the peace-loving. Yeah, that was my car in college. Hitler had a car and he said, make the roof a bit higher. I hate when the roof hits the head. And they went, oh, good on you, Hitler. Good on you, mate. And he goes, no, I'll buy it.

He goes, put the fucking boot in the front. Put your trunk in the front. That's a bit different. fits the head and they went oh good on you hitler good on you mate and he goes no way he goes put the fucking boot in the front put your trunk in the front that's a bit different they went all right he's fucking mad he is this will never last ah hitler you can say what you want but he designed a car that people love to this day i'm airy i'm six two blonde hair blue eyes i was driving a volkswagen all through college uh so was so so was hitler was hitler uh responsible for that? Or did someone just come to Hitler and then Hitler went, yeah, whatever, burn something? Yeah, so it was German archaeologists connected with Hitler. But Hitler was involved in the whole, let's connect Arianism back to ancient Greek and Roman civilization.

But the next Olympics after Berlin were where? So then it was like... 1948 in London. So 36 in Berlin. And then there's a... And they were just like, go ahead and use the torch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that was the Olympics in Berlin was the Jesse Owens thing

where famously Hitler didn't stand up because he was a superior race and all this type of bullshit, right? And so that is amazing. So in that Olympic day, then we had some Olympics off because of the war. Of course, those were canceled. We had some Olympics off because of the war. Of course, those were canceled. We had some Olympics off because of the war. Then we came back together.

We separate Germany into two countries and go, and we're nicking your torch idea. Like, do you think the Germans were like, cultural appropriation? I don't know why they're Jamaican. That was my German. Ich bin ein in bobsled team. I think you should always do it as a German. Germans, you know those Germans. They sound nicer when you do it.

So the Germans came into Poland like, Hey man, we don't want you having your own country no more. And they were like playing steel drums and people were like, it was harrowing. I was going to say something else, but since you touched on that, so, yeah, you did get – now you got it right post-after. The Olympics are canceled. How many times, Mark?

I'm trying to find – Three. So 1916, they were scheduled for Berlin, ironically, and World War I scheduled them. 1940, they were scheduled for Tokyo, and World world war ii interrupted and then 44 they never got awarded there were uh rumors that detroit was going to get them or uh buenos aires but none in 1944 you think tokyo would have gotten the nod yeah like during the war hitler would have gone oh we gotta win it's just us versus the japanese but it is interesting because let's

play wrestling these olympics aren't canceled yet the tokyo but should we never have them in tokyo again that's like like first there was a war now there's like a global pandemic i think is there some common denominator there we've been jinxed yeah maybe i guess they would get these aren't canceled yet right the tokyo they're delayed by a year am i correct one year they're delayed by right 2021 is the theory they were in tokyo in 1964 so to reintegrate the access powers after world war ii munich gets the 72 games tokyo got uh 64 and rome got 1960 oh okay so so they were all sort of given to people where we're like ah all's good

yeah it was a peace offering basically which cities got them right so when did they bring in i've always hated these the fucking mascots oh that's funny you mentioned oh those mascots like oh is that my thing at the end no no i just had i just didn't know if we would get to this but uh well they bring the mascot? They had one in Sydney that looked like an upside down teardrop with a couple of circles around its base. This is your first mascot. I didn't print up two of these. This is your first one.

You can hold that up for the camera. I'm going to tell you what that's from. That was a Winter Olympics because he's on a ski. His name was Spermy. Can you see him, Mark? I can. Yeah.

And he would have been at the, he would have been at the, before Montreal, he would have been at the. 1968. 1968. I think that's the first one. Is that the first? That's what I have. At the Moscow Olympics.

Grenoble. Grenoble. Grenoble. I watched the documentary on that. Horrible what happened to those people. Where's Grenoble? I don't know. It's France. It's the Winter Games.

It's Jean-Claude Keeley. That's Schuss. The first mascot ever. His name's Zeus? Schuss. Schuss. Oh, like Schuss. Schuss. Schuss. I go down the mountain with my little friend i have a big head i wear a beret and shoes shoes i win the medal um so why i use it as a

cheese plate why were the mascots i mean i'm assuming like just marketing or whatever is that like yeah marketing and cartoons in the 60s. All right. So see if you can guess. All right. I'll tell you where they're all from. My printer, the color started to run out. So everything's pink.

You tell me the color they are. Well, that one's supposed to be orange and tiger. You can hold it. That was Beijing. And that was Frosty the tiger. That's the before picture of Tiger. That is Soul. Soul.

I remember that one. 1988. I don't know what his name is. Do you know all the names? The Tiger? I can't remember the Soul one. There were, yeah, multiple weird characters. Soul.

What would you call the Soul one? What? That's Korea. His name was Hadori. Hadori. Hadori. He's Hadori, people. I would have called him Hunky Dory.

This one's probably pretty easy. You should get this one here. All right, Jack, you can play in this as well because you haven't said anything. All right, that one there, I think it's from your hometown, Jack. What do you say? Or was it the Atlanta one? I don't think it was the Atlanta one.

The Atlanta one was one of those Coke bottles that danced the music. It's clearly the United States. That's Baldy. That's all Baldy. I'm going to say that's of those Coke bottles that danced the music. It's clearly the United States. That's all baldy. I'm going to say that's Eddie the Eagle, not Eddie the Eagle. I'll go Ernie the Eagle from the LA Games.

Sam. Sam. Sam the Eagle from LA? LA. Right. Give them what they want. Okay. And the last one. Here you go. That's going to be a hard one, I think. That's the one. That's the upside down teardrop so you know it then yeah that's uh from the sydney olympics no it's not oh that's atlanta that's atlanta that's atlanta was the upside down teardrop i've seen him around

i forgot what the sydney one was and he was called what's it or something or who's it who's it yeah was called izzy izzy izzy izzy but i don't what was he a sydney one sydney ones i didn't print it up but it looks like it's just a bunch. It's like a duck-billed platypus and a kinder. It's a kinder surprise. And some other bird, like a blue-footed.

I don't know. It's a bunch of animals. In Sydney, was it like three of them? We had a whole lot. We got too many animals. I'm asking Mark. Yeah, there's several animal characters.

Yeah. Which are pretty common for big mascots. Yours was more like in line with what the country was. Yeah, Australia's got a lot of good animals. I'm thinking about writing a children's book. We'll get to that on some other podcast. I have a lot of time on my hands.

The rings. So you said the five rings represent the five continents and the colors are all the colors of the people. Is that correct, Mark? Yeah, I believe both of those. The rings is correct, but the colors of the people. Is that correct, Mark? I believe both of those are correct. The rings is correct, but the colors are supposedly every flag in the world has one of the

five Olympic colors. That makes sense. Not racial colors. That makes more sense. That makes a lot more sense. That makes more sense. That does make more sense. You're right. People get the Olympics and then people go,

I don't want the Olympics in my town. They'll have to build hospitals. They'll have to do this. When all those green people come over, think of the disease. And then the most medals are American. We kind of touched on that. He says it's America and Russia. Winter, you did say Norway eventually.

Norway, yes, Norway. Yeah, they do have the most medals. And America has the most medals total, right, Mark? In the history of the games, yeah, by far. Now, with the Winter Games, when was that brought in? That would have only been in the modern era. Was that ever in ancient

times when they brought in the Winter Games? No, that's the modern innovations. So Chamonix in France in 1924, they start the Winter Games. Now, with the Winter Games, there's things modern innovation. So Chamonix in France in 1924, they start the winter games. Now with the winter games, there's things that I don't quite understand about the winter games because really, if we're honest, they're just the indoor games because, you know, basketball, they're the indoor and snow games

because they play soccer in the summer Olympics, but soccer is a winter sport and they play other- It says basketball. It's technically a winter sport. Basketball is a winter sport and it's played in the summer so i know it's the other way no the no no basketball is played in the summer but it's a winter the season i guess it's because the players are playing in the winter that they put them in the summer i think okay so get me right the winter games have to involve snow and ice they're really snow and ice games right because anything indoor will be played in summer. Am I right in saying that? Yeah, I think everything involves snow or ice. So hockey is an indoor winter game, but it's on ice.

Right, so you can't put basketball in. You can't cornhole or whatever. They could do whatever they want, but historically, the first basketball in the Olympics is in Berlin in 1936, and they played outdoors, actually. Oh, wow. Now, with the... Wow.

Outdoors, you say? That must have been... It might have rained one day. Now, with the Olympics, every year they seem to bring in a new sport, and when that happens, does another sport get the flick? Like, does another sport get kicked out for another sport how do you how do you how do you uh get your sport in to the olympics yeah so the ioc is worried about overcrowding now so they've tended to boot sports out as new ones have come in so recently you, baseball and softball have gotten cut out.

And the way you get one in is you lobby the IOC, you throw bags of cash at them, and you try to demonstrate global appeal. And you want to look good on television. So particularly in the winter games, summer games as well, we've seen they want a youth demographic. They want to appeal to that 14 to 29 year old especially male group with a lot of disposable income so we've gotten mountain biking and we're going to get skateboarding and in the winter games you know snowboarding and stuff like that and a lot of these games originate in California right beach volleyball right and so if you take a look at the medal count uh california was probably fifth all time in the sheer number of medals won in olympic games winter and summer now oh if it

was its own country yeah that's pretty yes wow we've seen the californication of the olympics in the last since world war ii now i know we'd like snowboarding a lot of the the competitors got done for having weed in their system you You can't, and they're bringing in skateboarding. That's not, that's not gonna, it's not gonna work out, is it? Well, that, in fact, Sean Wise is going to try to double in skateboarding. Oh, wow. And when they bring the,

because the games are coming back here to LA and LA, we have legalized weed. Will the players be allowed to compete on Marijuana? It's not a performance enhancer as far as i know so but the ioc is banned it will see yeah so the players being banned i'm trying to find them here but the first player that was ever banned from the olympics i have a very quick thing to say so back to the thing that we were just talking about before you said we want to make it good on tv you want to market it to people men aged 14 to 29 um my question is is there a world that you see in the future where esports start getting played

yeah i get this question a lot and you know it's a hot topic now so uh i'm too old for the esports boom i don't really get it but i do think you know we might see it in in 20 years if it keeps growing as long as it makes money and has a big following uh the ioc might well scarf it up well they're you know they tend to be older uh elite folks but they have a nose for making money and what plays well globally so i could see that so in 20 years time i could be competing in mario kart that'd be good that'd be good it'd be just me and my lazy boy recline and i'll be going oh he's got a banana pill he's thrown it out the back all right uh we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back all right ladies and gentlemen this is a company that i use you might notice over the

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All right. Olympic Village sex. Let's do that. Let's talk about that. Then we'll talk about me. We forgot to talk about that. I don't know how we missed that. My issues with the Olympics will be next. Okay.

Sex in the Olympic Village, Mark. We briefly touched on that. Are those rumors true? Is that like running rampant there? As Jim said, they give out condoms. Are there STDs through the roof? There's certainly lots of rumors. And, you know, this has been persistent.

The first Olympic Village is at LA in 32. They had a little complex in the Baldwin Hills. And the movie companies were there from Hollywood. And Starlet's filmed with the athletes and stuff so lots of rumors there the most famous one is 30 is 1936 in berlin and there was a claim that the german government paid uh young aryan women to go mate with aryan athletes at the olympic village to uh produce a super race and then would support the kids. But Jesse Owens fucked that up.

Did Jesse Owens get any rumors about him? No, he didn't fit the Aryan mold. So unfortunately, he was not one of their targets. So they were going for more Aryan style athletes. But yeah, there are plenty of rumors and innuendos. One of the most famous events of the Cold War is an American hammer thrower named Harold Conley and a Czech discus thrower. Both gold medalists got together. Olga Fikatova got together in 56 in Melbourne, fell in love and got married in a very public

Cold War breaking east-west story, moved to the United States. She still lives in the Huntington Beach area in Southern California. Did they have a child together? Yeah, his name's Thor. Oh, they did? No. Like a javelin and a discus throw. She just shot it across the room.

Here we go. Just a little side note. We'll get back to this in a second. I know this, 1956, the Melbourne Olympics, that was the first the Melbourne Olympics. That's why... That was when... That was the first televised Olympics. It was the first televised Olympics.

Am I correct? It was when TV was invented, and that's why Australia got TV, because we had the Olympics. So we got it early. I don't know. Is it the... The first televised Olympics

are the Berlin Games in 36. Yeah, but... It's on closed-circuit TV in a few cities in Germanyany okay and then you've got television uh 48 in london 52 in helsinki 56 in melbourne sort of at a local level the first international broadcast since 1960 in rome so no i used to tell people that. And I work with giraffes. And that's why this podcast exists.

You were close though. You were one Olympics off. Then it was international. It was wrong. I know that's why Australia got TV because we didn't have television before it. And then when Melbourne got it because I saw a documentary. There wasn't TV before 1956? No, not in Australia.

We only had four channels on Australian TV. Nothing else. When I was a teenager. We only had four channels on Australian TV. Nothing else. When I was a teenager. Skippy. Skippy the kangaroo. One of the channels during summer just played cricket five-day games. So that channel- And it would turn off after the game was over?

Oh, no. Then they'd talk about it afterwards. Then there'd be news. There'd be a recap. It would be cricket all day. So you'd lose that channel all summer. Oh, don't even get me started. All right.

Back to the sex in the thing. thing so is stds running rampant uh i don't think we have you know good studies for sure but there are lots of rumors persistent rumors about stds about uh a lot once athletes are done competing you know they're young attractive folks and what's it because you would get surprised if they hook up what's the stds after you would go to olympics and then you'd come home and if you had another partner you'd have an std and they'd be like what'd you do and like um so what's the juiciest bit of goss from the last sort of two or three olympics that you've got like you know that you know, like LeBron did something. Do you know what the last three Olympics were?

Where they were, Jim? Oh, the last three Olympics, yeah. Let's just start with the last one. The last Winter Olympics was in 2018. Russia. I don't even know. Pyeongchang. Oh, yeah.

South Korea. I know it's Pyeongchang. And then the last Summer Olympics in 2016. That one should be easy. That was in Athens. That was the one before was Athens. No, I think World Cup. And then the last Summer Olympics in 2016. That one should be easy. That was in Athens. That was the one before was Athens. No, I think World Cup. What was the last one?

Rio. Rio. Then they have the World Cup there and then they have... Yeah, yeah. I'll tell a quick story, very quick story before we get back in. Me and Forrest were on a plane once and we were sitting there and I said, the Brazilian team is very good, but their goalkeeper actually plays for Toronto.

Right. So they've got all these top players. They don't have a good goalkeeper. And I said, you said the goalkeepers in Brazil generally, other players are top. And I was just, I was just bullshitting Forrest.

And I said, oh, the other, the other, the goalkeeper's never any good because the filth that they play in, in the slums, they want to run around a bit. They don't want to stay stationary and get sick.

But this is not a plane to me and him. He's just kidding to me. This is not a plane. And then this woman who was in business class behind us stands up and she goes, I am from Brazil. Not all of us live in poverty. She just gave you the stink eye the whole way out to the luggage claim. Yeah, she was so angry about it.

I was talking about the class divide they have there. I know you're not all doing that. What are you bragging about going, our society is very distant. We don't take care of some people at all. Okay, so juicy goss, Mark. Juicy goss. How many Olympics do you want to go back?

Or just anything recent that you can remember. Well, juicy gossip from Pyeongchang in 2018 was that North Korea sent a lot of sex spies over to try to impact the outcome of certain events by seducing Western athletes. Did you say sex spies? I'm interested. Next week episode, sex spies. I think a third of all my sex has been with spies. So what does a sex spy do like they would they go and

the rumor is would they have so much sex with the person they'd be tired the next day or they would give them food poisoning or try to slip them uh illicit substances so you know there's some famous events there was the people's republic of china reputedly for the 64 tokyo games the favorite in the decathlon was a Taiwanese athlete and he was allegedly drugged. So he ended up finishing fifth and 64. So there's a long tradition of espionage, sexual and medical and otherwise at the Olympics. But he probably finished first the night before, right?

Now we've got, We've got young Jack here Jack how old are you again? 24 Jack doesn't get much of the sex Doesn't get much of the sex But if he was an Olympian there'd be a sex spy That would do something to him What event could we get Jack into the Olympics

If he started training now On the score that I gave you The 0-6 if you would have gotten that that as Elizabeth Sweeney and you didn't ask who that was, but I don't know much about her. I think that she kept, she was the one that kept trying to find a loophole right to get in the Olympics. You find a sport that no one's playing.

You know, this is a really crazy story. You know, Yeah. So historically, you know, at least since world war two, nations could send three athletes in every event. So you didn't have to be top in the world. You just had to be in the top three in your nation and have them sponsor you. That's how Eddie the Eagle got in.

That's how Elizabeth Swaney got in, who was a terrible snowboarder. Recently, they've changed that. You've got to at least sort of be, be you know top 500 in the world they're not going to let what's because of her eddie the eagles and but uh but what country did she what country did she compete with elizabeth sweeney that's what i can't remember i want to say it was like switzerland it was like switzerland or sweden yeah because she wasn't from there but so is it because of that those two that they changed the rule is that what so does that mean no more jamaican bob hungry she was a hungarian freestyle skier or a snowboard yeah anyways yeah and then i guess she got in

there and just didn't just did as well it was like it was almost like a snowboard half pipe i think and she just went down it and like then cruised back like she didn't do any tricks or anything like that people were like what the fuck is going on that was the other question that i had in there so like let's say if you were richard br, you owned all these islands and you made it your own country, let's say. Could you just enter the Olympics, say, hey, I just created a country and now I'm in the Olympics? Yeah, in fact, there are more countries recognized by the International Olympic Committee than there are by the UN. So there's plenty of countries that don't really count for the UN. American Samoa is in the Olympics, a variety of others.

So basically, if you can get the IOC to recognize that you have a national Olympic committee, if Richard Branson buys a big enough island and donates enough to the IOC, he could have the Virgin Atlantic Olympic nation and whatever he wanted. They've just gone bankrupt. So, okay, so I believe, correct me if i'm wrong forrest

there are 195 countries in the world i might be out by 10 or something right about 195 i think it's too let me say okay i believe there's 195 countries in the world i might be wrong forrest is about to tell me um oh 195 this totalises of 193 countries that are members of the UN and two countries that are non-member observer states. How many countries compete in the Olympics? There are more than 200 eligible to compete. How does that work? So there are more national Olympic committees than there are nations the UN recognizes.

Now, they don't all send teams, but they potentially could. Has there been a country that's competed that's never gotten a medal? Yeah, off the top of my head, I don't want to get this wrong. I know India has won very few in terms of countries with enormous populations. They've got a handful of medals. They used to be really good in men's field hockey. But, yeah, there are definitely countries that have never come close to winning an Olympic. Because I know that Tonga won its first medal in boxing.

Tonga. There's no other medal that they can win. I'm just Googling this. But this said, despite competing in eight games, Albania has never won a medal. So there might be countries that haven't competed, and that doesn't matter. Yeah, that's because they're all white people. That's Albania. Oh, yeah, I got it.

Albania. Yeah, they're the ones who gave Costa pink eye. Jim, you wanted to talk about the Paralympics, I think? Okay, so I was in the UK when the Paralympics happened. Now, so there's the Paralympics and the Special Olympics, and correct me if I'm wrong, the Paralympics are people. So there's the Paralympics and the Special Olympics, and correct me if I'm wrong, the Paralympics of people who have an amputee or a physical, for lack of a better word, deformity.

I don't know if we, physical disability. And the Special Olympics are for people who have something more special, something in the head more. Is that a good way of saying it? Probably not. I think you're okay with the Paralympics, but you're not bad saying that the Special Olympics, but I think it's people that are mentally challenged.

Challenged people. Is that correct? And follow up question. If I'm in a car accident and I have a bit of brain damage, can I compete then afterwards or do I have to be born with it? So you're basically right on the Paralympics and the Special Olympics, except there are categories for people with mental challenges, particularly from injuries in the Paralympics. And the answer is yes. If you get in a car wreck and have physical or neurological or brain damage, you could potentially be a Paralympian.

There's a panel of specialists who would rate your challenge and put you in the appropriate category. Now, has there ever been sex spies infiltrate the Special Olympics? That's beyond my knowledge. Here you go, Jim. This is on their website, Special Olympics. People with intellectual disabilities. That's what I was looking for. The intellectually disabilities.

Yeah, yeah. And so, okay, so the famous Oscar Vistorius was the only person to ever cross over from the, and I know this because I did a very lengthy comedy routine on this, from the Paralympics over to the Special Olympics. He's the only person? He's the only person to ever cross over from this and i know this because i did a very lengthy comedy routine on this uh from the from the paralympics over to the only person he's the only person to ever to ever compete in in both olympics to my knowledge am i correct on saying that yeah to my knowledge you're right and and he could also do now i hear he can do that skiing one where you shoot a bit okay because what's that one called this i forget what that's ski ski ski shoot shoot shoot biathlon and that's the one norway wins up right doesn't norway that's

how they have the most medals just cross-country skiing away in russia and why did that sport start i've never always watched that i'm like like i don't that's how you ski in russia i don't know how you have to shoot you have to shoot your way through the forest I really like curling I don't care how that started because I just like it but the skiing shooting when I'm always like what is going on here no mcdonald has a routine about because it's like if I ran a bit then I fished a bit by the way biathlon's a big doping sport because they use uh beta blockers to calm them down to shoot. So that's a big scandal in biathlon. Now, with the luge and the bobsled, if someone just pushed me down on the luge, could I do all right?

You'd probably die. Is there steering involved? Do you just sit there and then at the end you're like, yeah, gold medal. So it's just the fattest person. Yeah, I don't think they enter the Olympics to go down the water slide. I think the whole sport is done. That bit.

It's also how you make cheese. Get it. Hit it with a stick. Anyway, so you go like that and that's all. If anyone, if you can do that the fastest, it's You're talking about the running and the, oh, that's on the luge. Yeah, the luge. You're already seated and you go dum-dum-dum with your hands.

I think the luge is the closest sport to all the original Sega Mega Drive Olympic sports where you just tapped really hard. Oh, I see. Yeah, so that's the crossover, huh? Yeah, yeah. You know when you tap, tap, tap. I used to like the California games where you surfed a bit and then you skateboarded a bit and you roller skated. Santa Cruz.

That was Santa Cruz. Santa Cruz. That was Santa Cruz. Santa Cruz. That was a bloody good one. I don't think that there's more to the, they steer in the luge, right? They don't steer in the luge, do they, mate? Oh, they do. All right. Is that just a matter of moving your head from side to side?

I don't know about luge expert. All right. We have another episode. Yeah, there's strategy in there. There's weight distribution depending on which types of curves you're going around. There's a choreography to it, I'd assume. I'd like to, the five people that we have here, everyone give out the sport they think they could compete the best at in the Olympics. Okay.

Volleyball. She played volleyball. I was a college volleyball player. I like how you laughed at her. I was also a swimmer. I almost swam in college too, so maybe I'd go both. I almost swam the other day. I was reading all the sports right now and I read handball is hand jobs.

I could do that. Do you want a list of them? No, I want sport. What sport you think you'd compete the best in? Like against other Olympians? Just where you could hold yourself a little bit. Is horse an Olympic sport? Because horse would crush that.

Yeah, I would say rowing. I used to row in college. I think if I trained enough, I could get into rowing because I did row crew in college. I think if I trained enough, I could get into rowing. Because I did row crew in college. I think I could do the speed walking. That's not... Is that an Olympic sport? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do that one. Like you kill off Kath and Kim.

I could do that one. I'd go along like that. You'd practice at the mall. I'd go along. I'd walk around. Speed walking in the Olympics? It is. They do long distances too, like 50 kilometers. No, I couldn't do it. But the speed walking is,

people, they might have sticks, I'm not sure, but you can have no air. Both your feet can't be off the ground and you're allowed three times they can go, no, no, no. And it's like,

on different parts of the course it's just people looking at you and then they'll run out of the crowd and go, no! And then they'll skirt back in and then the person will be walking, ah, fuck! And they'll keep walking.

Have you ever competed in any sport, in an Olympic sports, Mark? Which one do you think you could compete in? These folks are elite athletes. But if you had to do one. I know I can't compete with them. When did you get passionate about the Olympics? What was the kernel in your childhood where you went,

I want to write about this? My dad was the track and field coach. So, you know, I did a little track and field. And I remember vividly on a little black and white TV watching Mexico City in 68 and seeing spectacular performances and racial politics and all kinds of stuff see i i remember being i used to very much enjoy the olympics when i lived in australia when i moved to america i don't give as much of a shit because you're winning medals all the time but in australia there was this feel of did you hear he won a gold and it was like the whole

country was buzzing for a couple of days and now like america's like we won five golds today two silvers and a whatever you know what i mean um so hey let's go down to the one that you said about the who's won the most medals how did i go how did i go first overall um so individuals you said michael phelps yep has won the most yeah i believe that's correct right that's correct um yep do i have to pull this list up mark or do you know this off the top of your head, the top five medal winners of all time? You better pull it up. I know Michael Phelps.

Michael Phelps, by the way, ranks, I think, 38th all-time as a nation if Michael Phelps is a one-man nation. That's pretty incredible. South Africa in the all-time since 1996. So he's the best country per capita. Yeah, he definitely is. Yeah, him and who was the other one? Jamaica.

Yeah. Okay, number one is Michael Phelps. Number two, Larissa Latianina. What is she? Gymnastics. Good guess. And then it's number three is Pavo Nermi. It just says athletics.

What's athletics? Okay. Track and field. It's the real English term for track and field. Yeah, because he was 1920, 1928. Then number four is Mark Spitz. Mark Spitz. I remember him.

He's number four. And number five, Carl Lewis. So you had two of the top five. You had Carl Lewis. You had Flojo. He's down the list. How did Thorpey do? How did Ian Thorpe do?

Thorpey. The torpedo. I don't think he was in enough Olympics, but he crushed one of them. is down the list. How did Thorpey do? How did Ian Thorpe do? Thorpey. The Thorpedo. I don't think he was in enough Olympics, but he crushed one of them. Ian Thorpe. I don't see him. I think he did pretty good. He's number 45.

Bloody Thorpey. Australia's shocked, bro. Thorpey. He was our Ian Thorpes. He was. I've lost my brain. I you go. He was. Jim just had a stroke. I've lost my brain. I don't know about anything.

Mark, there was something interesting. I know, well, I might say that for a little bit later. Actually, there's some questions I'm going to ask Jim right now. Okay. I just had a brain. We just lost both of our brains. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you two? This is why Joe Rogan got 100 million.

So I have some questions that I usually ask Jim at the end, and I'm going to throw those out there. A lot of them we actually answer during this, so I might re-ask him and see how much you know. Sure. But let's see. The first- Ask me which Olympics Torval and Dean were in.

I know that. Who? Torval and Dean. Torval and Dean won the gold medal for figure skating, and they were British, and the British never win anything in the Winter Olympics. And so it was in, I'm going to say Sarajevo. Is that correct?

Yeah, but it was ice dancing. Ice dancing, yeah, figure skating. What's the difference between ice dancing and ice skating? I can't tell the difference, but they get really mad at you if you don't know. Okay. They get a little catty. You know, one of those guys in the locker going,

excuse me? One has ribbons and the other one doesn't. Okay, so here you go. Gold medals are made of mostly silver. Right. So this is kind of like... But there's some real gold in it. Yeah, it says that...

I guess it depends from Olympics to Olympics. It says in the 2018 winter olympics in south korea they were the heaviest medals ever at that point with gold medal weighing in at 586 grams with the gold ceiling for around 1350 an ounce oh if it was pure gold it'd be 28 000 but it's not it's guess i guess it's not in switzerland now made of chocolate um okay so only three modern jack just gave me a... I like chocolate. Let's see if you can remember this. Only three modern Olympic Games have been cancelled.

Do you remember? Now can you tell us about those? Oh, okay. They were... Berlin, during the First World War, had the Olympics cancelled. And then I forgot the other two. I think World War I was 1916, was Berlin.

World War II was 1940, 1944. And I believe one of them, Mark said. Tokyo was one. Tokyo's had it canceled. Tokyo, that's two. And then. 1940. And then the other one, they just didn't have it

because the war was going on, I guess. And that was nobody. Only five countries have been represented every modern era Summer Olympic Games. Only five in the modern era have been represented at Summer Olympic Games. Can you name at least three out of the five? Oh, countries that have done both no no no in the modern era

only five countries have appeared in all every summer Olympic games that have ever existed since 18 I forget what the oh I thought you're saying what countries have had both Olympics that's an interesting question no no no it's what country what these these five countries have been in every summer Olympics in the modern era okay so, so I'm going to say America. Wrong. Okay, I'm going to say Britain. Correct. I would say Italy.

No. I'll say Spaniola. No, you're not doing well. I will say Norway. Still wrong. Summer Olympics. Yeah, they were both. Tonga.

No, let me just give them to you. Australia is one of them. How did Australia get in all of them? I thought we weren't old enough. Oh, we. Tonga. No, let me just give them to you. Australia is one of them. How did Australia get in all of them? I thought we weren't old enough. Oh, we are old enough. Great Britain. This is what I have listed too. Great Britain, Australia, France, Switzerland, and Greece.

Now, I believe in the first Olympics, there wasn't Australia. I've heard this. There was just one bloke. Is that correct? One guy. One guy, and he was throwing goannas or something. But no, there was one bloke. There was one goannas or something but no there was there was there was one bloke there was one bloke from australia in the first olympics it was just you

know backpacking around and i thought i'd give it a go you know i competed in like fucking 10 things i did it was aces now do you know about anything about that mark yeah so there's no national teams until the 1908 olympics in in London. So it's just whoever showed up. And basically the first games in Athens were in the spring in April. And people on holiday, an Australian guy named Edwin Flack, did very well in track and field in Athens in 1896. I fucking ran faster than these great cunts, I tell you that much. I fucking ran faster than these Greek cunts I tell you that much

are there any other cool facts about Australia and Olympics that you might have I have a cool one tell me if I'm wrong Mark so the infamous where they had the they put their hands up the two black athletes put their hands up the guy who came third was Australian

and it sort of because because of Australian politics, it sort of ruined his career afterwards. He was in solidarity with him. He said he'd hold his head down and all that type of stuff, but he'd still go up and click his head. Oh, so he held his head down. He was with him. Yeah, he knew they were going to do it.

Then he did it, and he kind of got blacklisted after that. Am I correct in saying that? You're correct, except he's from New Zealand, Peter Snell. He wore an Olympic project for Human Rights button, and snell uh he wore a olympic project for human rights button and yeah he took a lot of flack for it because he didn't put his hand up no no he did put his hand oh he did put it okay i thought he was no i thought he didn't put his hand up the photo only has two he uh he was in solidarity with him he got one of their pens the olympic project for human rights and um uh he expressed solidarity with it and so so he's from new you with them. He got one of their pens, the Olympic Project for Human Rights, and he

expressed solidarity with them. And so he's from New Zealand. He got flack for being sympathetic to them. He's from New Zealand. I never knew that. I feel terrible. Sorry, New Zealand. But next they're going to start claiming their own crowded house in Russell Crowe. Oh, yeah. See, I will put this on there, but there's a picture.

See, he's got his hand up. Another one in the 70s. Oh, that's German. Yeah, that's bad will put this on there, but there's a picture. See, he's got his hand up. Another one in the 70s. Oh, that's German. Yeah, that's bad. That was a highlight. They were pretty upset about that. For people who didn't see, Forrest just showed me a picture of someone giving a Nazi salute in the Olympics. A lot of controversy around that one.

He's very supportive. Okay, we'll have to find the right picture. Tommy Smith and John Carlos in Mexico City, they only had one pair of gloves. So one took the right hand, one took the left hand. So he wanted to raise his hand. Snell wanted to raise his hand, too, but there was no glove for him. So he sort of gave a you know half-hearted uh uh uh salute but uh but he was very much in solidarity with their protest so so so the third guy was in new zealand now was that

in sports was that because we have the kneeling for the anthem was that the first protest in the olympics i find this very So, my argument would be the first protest, the first real political protest in the Olympics was 1908 in London, when the U.S. team, it's the first parade of nations, and the U.S. goes against international protocol and refuses to dip its flag to the English king in London. But the reason for it was really more Irish solidarity. The guy that carried it was of Irish descent, a weight thrower named Ralph Rose. And it was in protest with the Irish athletes who were forced to compete

under the union Jack as Ireland was then not independent from great Britain, but they won the potato throwing lineage to protest. Oh, so there you go. Here's another question for you jim a couple questions then we're gonna get to our dinner party fact mark uh the first olympic drug suspension did not occur till what year uh 1972 close 1968 this says um this says hans gunner ligion wall he was a pentathlete and is thislete. And is this true? He was tested positive for alcohol and he was suspended? Is that correct, Mark?

Yeah, it was on the list of banned substances. So they used to take it to calm their nerves. Do you agree with banning substances or do you think we should all just have a go? You know, it's hard to know. I go back and forth. You know, in some ways it would be nice if everyone played by the same rules. One way to do that is open it up and tell people they can take whatever they want and do whatever they want. And finding that line between, you know, what's legit performance enhancing and what crosses the line is problematic.

On the other hand, you know, there's a lot of dark history of people being forced to take substances and Soviet Union in East Germany without their consent. So here's what we do in this part of the show mark uh we have something called dinner party facts where um you uh give us a fact that's obscure interesting that our listeners can take to uh at a dinner party or a bar or something like that to show that they have some sort of knowledge of the olympics that other people might not know um i know actually that you mentioned the flag dipping thing was one thing, but do you have anything else? I know there was something else we talked about

that was interesting, I think. I don't mind what that was. The palm trees. I'm sorry. Oh, yeah. Okay. Maybe we should edit this out. Let me start over again.

You like on Comics Unleashed. So what do you think about palm trees? Tell us about palm trees. Here's a part of the show mark uh called dinner party facts where uh we give the listeners or you give the listeners um one fact that can be obscure interesting something that they can use at a dinner party or bar to show that they have some knowledge of olympics that other people might not know about so if you have something that our listeners can take home so especially there locally in southern california you know the palm tree is an iconic symbol of Los Angeles, but they're not native to the area. They really date to sprucing up LA for the 1932 Olympics. The power behind the 32 Olympics was a real estate developer named William A. Garland,

real estate developer named William A. Garland who got the city to plant literally tens of thousands of palm trees to make it look good for visitors from around the world. And they kind of, the Wilshire Boulevard area lined with palm trees. That was his big real estate development. In 84, they spruced it up again. Mind fucking blown. Mind blown. I thought that the palm trees were indigenous

and in and out burgers grew out of them yeah and so because those are all i think i believe most a lot of them are washingtonian so a lot of those really really really tall ones you see i guess could be almost like 80 years old or whatever that's been there since the 1936 olympics before that we had no palm trees what did we what what is that this is not a palm tree here that's like a chaparral or what was going on it was nothing in the old house i had one in the backyard was that for the olympics that's where they live there the summer olympics bad one right basketball whatever no I'm field hockey field hockey that's what I meant

Stry always does well in the field hockey so they planted him again in 84 that's when the next one yeah they spruce him up in 84 so I imagine

they'll probably do it for 2028 new palm trees new palm trees hell yeah alright alright thank you very much

Mike Mark what the fuck I've been calling him Mark the whole episode edit that out he's Mark right yeah I know the fuck? I've been calling him Mark the whole episode. Edit that out. He's Mark, right?

Yeah, I know, but I just said Mike. I called him Mark the whole time. Oh, fuck me. I was scared. I was like, we have to start again. Mark Dyruson,

thank you very much for being on the show. And like I said, if you are interested in learning more about the Olympics, you can buy one of Mark's books.

Are they available on Amazon? I'm not sure, but they're there. Oh, yeah. Amazon and all your other fine booksellers. And you want to tell us the names again? I have them here in front of me, but you can say them. Making the American Team is one. Crafting Patriotism for Global Domination America at the Olympics.

Great. That was awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Mark. I loved it. Thank you very much. Thank you. You can stick around for this. This is the last part of the show. Great. That was awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Mark. I loved it. Thank you very much. Thank you. You can stick around for this. This is the last part of the show. A little quick thing. If you want, you can go. You don't

have to. You're in quarantine. Come on. It's called I Do Know About This or Maybe I Might Know About This. And this is a topic that Jim thinks he might know something about. Actually, Mark, if you want to stick around, you can join in if you think you know after i do me but if you think you know more about this topic give it a go give it a go we asked jim three quick questions three quick questions about a topic each

week and see if he does in fact know jack you want to join in yeah all right this week's subject blackjack blackjack i know that's here's the questions you don't have to tell me i know you like blackjack you enjoy playing blackjack. I do, yes. Okay, so let's see if you know anything about Blackjack. How far back does Blackjack date? Like at least how far back is the first mention of Blackjack? 2,000 years. The first written mention of Blackjack was in a collection of short stories by Miguel de Cervantes, the author of Don Quixote, over 400 years ago. Whoa. Yeah, so there's a passage in there when they refer to a game called Ventiuna,

which is like Ventiuna. It's Ventiuno. Oh, yeah. Ventiuna. Yeah, yeah. 21. The way you wrote it. I didn't write it.

I copied and pasted it. Ventiuno. I know the deck of cards has a lot to do with the calendar, right? I don't know. There's four suits matching for four seasons. 52 cards, 52 weeks, 12 cards in every deck, 12 months of the year. It's all got to do with calendar. Well, it's 13 cards in each suit.

Shut up, Jack. Jack, you can go home now. Okay. You're no longer needed here. Yeah, but no one counts the ace. All right, second question. Did I say 12? Fucking hell, second question. Do I say 12? Fucking hell no.

What are the chances of getting a natural blackjack or 21? A natural one. Or what, percentage? Yeah, percentage of a natural. Or a one in... Just percentage. I want to think, like, when I play blackjack, I think it's one in 20 hands,

so I'm going to say it's 5% chance. Wow. Wow. Do you have an answer, Mark? Do you want to get in or do you know anything about blackjack? Yeah. How about 4%? Oh, Jim wins this one.

It's 4.8%. Wow. Except you overbid. If it was the price is right, Mark would win. So I don't know. We'll give it a difference. You guys both split the pot. I didn't know that, but it feels like one in 20.

Yeah, it was good. It was good. All right. And here's one last question. There is a blackjack hall of fame at the barona casino in san diego the casino offers inductees free rooms food and drinks for life in exchange for what um if you gamble over a million dollars on blackjack you want to venture a guess they give them free rooms uh drinks food and for life is the blackjack hall of Fame in San Diego

in exchange for what from these players? You got me. Jack, you got anything? Maybe they lose $10,000 in the casino? No, for agreeing to never play at the casino's tables. Oh. That's a good deal, though. They can go there and drink and hang out.

If you're really good. I count cards a little bit at the beginning, and then when I get drunk. Yeah, you counted 12 instead of 13. Not very good at it. One time we took a load of mushrooms, and I went out and played blackjack. Now, Forrest doesn't gamble, right?

Was that last time we were in Vegas? It was the time before. And I'd have gone out, and I'd been winning every time. Like, I was up thousands. I remember I wasn't even out there. I stayed in the room. You stayed in in the room and i was really high on mushrooms and i walked out with a group of people all friends and all friends i walked out and then i was like i was in the i was playing a hundred dollars a hand and i took like a thousand bucks

for me and it went really quick like i lost like eight hands in a row and then i because i was on mushrooms i thought like what's the chances like i came back and i went to forest you wouldn't believe and everyone else is on mushrooms seriously it's like eight in a row it's like the casino knew what was gonna happen and i was like or you're in a casino and you lose money in a casino and i was i was hitting on cards was like, give me number 12. All right, well, that's our show for today. Jim, take us out. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for watching the show.

I really appreciate you listening. If you have been listening and you enjoy it, give us a nice review. Tell your friends and keep listening to the show. If you don't enjoy it, go listen to something you enjoy. Yeah. Get out of here. And don't review us. What are you doing?

Leave us alone. Don't be negative. At. And don't review us. And don't. What are you doing? Leave us alone. Don't be negative. At this point, you already know where to find it. But just in case, we're on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, anywhere else you listen to podcasts. And please go to our Instagram page, IDKAT Podcast, and follow us there. And if you're ever at a party and someone smarter than you says something

and you don't want to lose the fight, you just go, well, I don't know about that, and walk away thanks everyone good night australia all right okay uh sorry the podcast was meant to end but little bonus uh feature here mark our expert he has since emailed us since the show was over what did he have to say for us there for us okay this was in relation to um who was in support uh in in the uh it was with tommy smith and okay anyways he thought he said in mexico when there's a protester with the two black athletes punch the sky email there was a guy who came third and i was told that i was wrong and the man was from new zealand yeah i'm gonna read i'm gonna read mark's email he was from New Zealand. Yeah, I'm going to read Mark's email. He was from Australia.

Mark wrote us an email literally a couple minutes after he got off the air. Tell Jim he was right and I was wrong on the 1968 Mexico City protest. I brain glitched and mixed up Peter Snell, a New Zealand distance runner, and Peter Norman, an Australian, who finished second in the 200 meters and sympathized with Tommy Smith and John Carlos. I don't know if Peter Norman's still alive, but if he's listening to this after like being shunned after the olympics and get being in trouble for getting a bronze and then he's listening to this podcast oh i'll get a get a bit of credit yeah oh this is gonna be good it was actually in new

zealand oh fuck off yeah it's the worst thing that could happen thank you for writing to us mark uh and that's why he's still an expert. He's still an expert. And now you can be an Olympics expert on somebody else's podcast. I'm an expert on any topic that we've done now. I am now an expert on all these things. I think university courses should be an hour and a half. Bye, everyone.

Hey, everybody. Jason Ellis here from the Jason Ellis Show podcast, reminding you that my podcast, new episodes every Wednesday, downloadable where all podcasts are available. Come see my friends, Michael and Kevin, as we talk to you about what's awesome, what sucks, fitness, fighting, parenting, life, spin kicks, LGBTQ community, how to defend yourself against a shark if it attacks you out of nowhere, and much, much more. So come join us.