I Don't Know About That - The Titanic (Live)

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

Dawn Brodey (@dawnbrodey @hilfpodcast) returns, again, to save this sinking ship and teach us all about what actually went down on the Titanic. This special episode was recorded live at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, CA on Tuesday, August 29, 2023. ADS: SHIPSTATION: Go to ShipStation.com and use code JIM today and sign up for your FREE 60-day trial. LIQUID IV: Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 20% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code IDKAT at checkout.

Thank you to our sponsor ShipStation. Thank you ShipStation. It's the calm before the holiday storm. You can prepare your e-commerce business from the holiday rationale by using ShipStation. Whether you're shipping from your house or a warehouse, ShipStation can increase your profitability. Set your business up for the holiday season success with ShipStation. Go to ShipStation.com and use the code JIM today and sign up for your free 60-day trial. That's shipstation.com, code JIM. Thank you to our sponsor, Liquid IV. Proper functional hydration is essential, and Liquid IV is the number one powered hydration brand in America. Their hydration multiplier is the one product you've been missing from your daily routine.

Grab your Liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off daily routine grab your liquid iv in bulk nationwide at costco or you can get 20 off when you go to liquidiv.com and use the code idacat at checkout idkat that's 20 off everything when you shop better hydration today using the promo code idacat at liquidiv.com if you're at home, this is our first live podcast. Say hello, everyone. I don't know if it comes out or what's going on with that. I just got a phone call from my mother-in-law.

Wait, wait, wait. We haven't really started yet. We've got to do the music. We've got to do the theme song. Oh, yes. Yeah, we've only done like a hundred times. So this is how we do the opening. I ask Jim, hey, do you have your words? And then he sits there, looks do the music. We've got to do the theme song. Oh, yes. Yeah, we've only done like a hundred. So this is how we do the opening. I ask Jim, hey, do you have your words?

And then he sits there, looks around the room, comes up with some ideas, and then let me know when you're ready. Oh, God, I'm ready to go. All right, John, play the theme song. Alcohol. White people. Do we have any people of colour in this room? Well, you just might find out.

And I don't know about that. With me, Jim Jefferies. We do? I couldn't see. You all look the same to me. I'm sorry. All the fans of the podcast, they look the same. me I'm sorry all the fans of the podcast they look the same so thank you for coming

this is our first live podcast as I was saying there's Kelly and Forrest and Jack we're all here I know our expert already because I've been sitting backstage with her but we'll meet her in a minute my mother-in-law

I want to give a shout out to Becca at home because Becca she writes me she wished me good luck today because it was our first live podcast a minute. My mother-in-law, I want to give a shout out to Becca at home because Becca, she writes me and she wished me good luck today because it was our first live podcast. She never does that for any of my other gigs. And the last episode she listened to was the one about hemorrhoids. Everyone listen to the hemorrhoids episode? It's very Dr. Wait, has everyone heard the podcast? You got to, you got to. It's not up to me. There you go.

That's why they're here. It's advertised as such. Everybody's listened to the podcast here, right, I'm assuming? Yes. Okay. Doesn't sound like everybody. All right, cool. All right.

Some people not clapping back there. So you're just saying hemorrhoids out loud. People are like, yeah. I didn't know if people... Yeah. So anyway, so... So I did the episode on hemorrhoids and that type of stuff. And I said something about my wife.

I said that my wife clogged up two toilets whilst in Hawaii with what she thinks is regular shit. Now, very clearly, my wife, I believe, is using too much paper. She says it's got nothing to do with the paper. It's the size of the turd. And I said, there's no way in the world, because I've done some big, my wife's a a petite person there's no way her shit's so big that it clogs up toilets anyway that was all I said my mother-in-law rings me up very not really angry as such but she wants to confirm something she goes I'm rung up to defend my daughter because I also do shits that are that big that clog up the toilet and uh so there's nothing wrong with it.

So I'd like to apologise. Becky, you're right. The both of you do massive turds. No, I'll tell you what, Becca. This is the deal. Neither of you are using toilet paper properly. I don't know what you're doing in there, but I can't go in.

But you're not doing it properly because you're an elephant. As long as it's the paper that's clogging it up. You won't be able to confirm it, you're saying. I can't confirm it, but they don't know how to shit properly. I've got to say, our hemorrhoids episode, we got the most comments ever that people could not finish the episode because they were

so disgusted. So I am happy that you started this live podcast with more shit talk. So, perfect. Glad you guys are here. Thanks for coming. I like that we haven't updated that photo in a while. That's a fun thing to sit underneath, isn't it? The fucking passing of time.

It's a good one. That's six years ago now. Yeah. Fuck, COVID was hard. I have to dye me hair now. yeah fuck COVID was hard I I I have to dye my hair now but fucking

yeah before COVID I had completely black hair and now I've fucking I've gone white it's not good

alright just remind me well normally here we would like promote like shows and stuff we're not gonna do that but uh

you just did some shows it went well and then why would they care any recap from your i was leading it into a story about a lobster roll i was like last week no let's start the podcast let's start the extra podcast let's get it right we're crushing it right now let's meet our guests today everybody please welcome don brodie go go go run run, get up here. Woo! Hello, Dawn.

Sad mic right there. We might all know Dawn from previous podcasts because Dawn was our expert on Frankenstein and our expert on vibrators, if I remember correctly. That's right, that's right. I'm glad that you remember. Everything that involves electricity making it come to life is your specialty. That's true, that you remember. Everything that involves electricity making it come to life is your specialty. That's true.

That's true. And how many lives I have lived at the hands of electricity. Indeed. I don't know if that's going to adjust. You can just pull it. Oh, I did. I figured it out. Whoa.

Ah, thanks. All right. Well, here you go. All right. John, can you play the next music drop? Jim's going to guess what she's here to talk about Yes, Lord Yes, Lord

Yes, Lord Judging a book by its cover Dawn, I can see that you're in a comedy club Behind you And you've got alcohol in your hand is it comedy related no oh so you're an expert in history so it'd be something to do with history so i'd be from the past not from the future so i'm gonna say i'm gonna say uh is it something to do with war? No We have some hints Do you want a hint? No, I've got one more

Is it the human body? No Okay, I want a hint then Alright, first hint What's more to life than war and the human body? First hint That's a head of lettuce That's a good

I don't need to touch it, I understand It's there, it's if you want to inspect it That's a head of lettuce Yeah Is it the history of farming? No. Oh. Okay.

Do you want another hint? I do. I would like another hint. Don't look at me for hints. What's the kind? I sent you a photo. Oh, that photo. Jesus Christ, Jack.

That's good. We get to see Forrest Dick again. Oh, God. Here we go. Oh, God. We're going to see all your texts now. We're going to see nudes. Nudes.

Nudes. There's all of Jack's texts. Why wouldn't it load? Oh, God. The keyboard's not working. Me pooping. Oh, God. Something.

Texts don't work. All right, well, I'll put it in post. Okay. Just show it. Just show it. I'm showing it to you. Get back to the lettuce. It didn't work.

Gas on the lettuce. All right. It's a cartoon of a woman with big... It's a stick figure with big boobs. Dolly Parton? What does she have to do with lettuce? Are you just saying that that's the shape of a boob plus the other things is a boob?

It was working. So is it Dolly Parton? It's not Dolly Parton. It's a famous actress. Oh, it's about a famous actress. What kind of lettuce is that? That was Kate Winslet. What kind of lettuce is that?

Kate Winslet? It was clearly Kate Winslet naked. What kind of lettuce is that? The Titanic. Yes. Nice. Didn't we do the Titanicanic no we did not no i this is we haven't done this okay so this is the funny thing about this we've been doing this podcast now for almost three and a half years and titanic has been on my list since day one so i immediately googled tit experts. I emailed a bunch of people. I get an email back that says,

you've now emailed two of us. The is not interested in being associated with this type of podcast. Like, sorry, I didn't know you fucking nerds were in a club. Like, they're not used to going down well. Going down badly. The joke would have fucking crushed if I said badly. So it finishes the email.

Please do not contact anyone at the... Again. Needless to say, I'm glad it didn't work out with them because Dawn's fucking awesome. She knows her shit and we're going to have a fun time. I had, when I was making Legit, I had the same thing with the John Denver

estate. I kept on wanting to have a John Denver song on Legit and I put it in the script and everything like that and they sent me back a letter going the John Denver estate not now or ever want to be involved with this show. Fuckin' hell, John Denver Estate.

All right, so Dawn Brody has a degree in history and theatre from the University of Minnesota. She's appeared on the History Channel series Crazy Rich Ancients. And please subscribe to her podcast, Health History. I'd like to fuck. It's a great podcast. And on Instagram, you can find her at Don underscore Brody and at Hilf Podcast. You've been on the podcast

before. You can say whatever you want to say now. That's so nice. I say fuck those dweebs at the official. They were extremely old and white so they would have been very boring. You know there is a thing in elitist you know circles

the idea is that you try as an educated degreed person to kind of keep our our work pristine and don't talk to the guy who says cunt all the time and is but I have the word fuck in my podcast so

but also you can reach people through me that's right okay so a lot of my fans know nothing about anything in my podcast. Yeah, yeah. But also, you can reach people through me. That's right. Okay, so. A lot of my fans know nothing about anything. It's really valuable. And they needed this. Vessels.

Yes, shaping. So, I'm going to ask Jim a series of questions about the Titanic and then after answering them, you're going to grade them on accuracy, Don, zero through ten.

Kelly's going to grade them on confidence. I'm going to grade them on et cetera. We'll add all the scores together. If you get 21 through 30, Jim, tight, tannic. 11 through 20, gin and tannic. That doesn't make sense.

0 through 10, satanic. You don't want that one. Maybe you do. I don't know. Are we doing the movie or are we doing the actual thing? That actually is a fair question. That's a fair question. Because if we're doing a movie,

then I've got to talk about... Because you put out the jewel because that's from the fucking movie. And you have a lot of hot takes about the movie. I watched the movie recently with me son. Go for it. But I watched it just from the moment the iceberg hit. If you watch it just from then,

it's a fucking banger of a film. If you have to watch all that other shit fuck, it's a long movie. It happens right in the middle. It's like the midpoint. Rose, terrible human being. Just take the guy's number and meet him when you get on shore.

You fucking came on the boat with this other fella. Don't be fucking some guy in economy in the back seat of a fucking Ford and think you're the hero of the fucking piece. Rose is one of the most atrocious human beings that has ever lived. Yeah, because then she holds him hostage on the boat, remember? Oh. Yeah. I thought you were going to keep... I just think that Billy Zane,

the gun wasn't enough. To answer your question, we're talking about the actual historical event. The actual historical event. The movie taught me so much. The movie gets a lot right. I think the movie will help you. I have blue and red ink on my pen,

and I will give you honorable mention if you just accurately reference the film. What about the boat that was built in Belfast? I know that won't be a question, but I should get a bonus point. Wow. Wow. I don't know if we put that in there.

We did. They only built two things, the Titanic and the DeLorean. Fucking don't trust Northern Irish builders. All right, here we go. I'm telling you, it's all they ever fucking built. They're not good, too busy fucking bombing each other. Hot take.

All right. When did the Titanic take off on her maiden voyage and from where? When did the Titanic take off on her maiden voyage and from where? I believe she, I don't think she left from Belfast. I think she left, I'm going to say from Bournemouth or Southampton or Portsmouth. I'm going to say Southampton. And I'm going to say the year was 1912. Okay.

What was the intended destination? Hang on, hang on, hang on. It might not be 1912. I have to think how old that woman was when I saw that movie. It's been 86 years. It's been 86 years. So 86 years. And she must have been at least... Rose must have been 14.

At least. At least. So... I'm going to move it up to 1924. What was the intended destination of the Titanic's maiden voyage? I guess where? New York, New York. What was the Titanic's slogan?

We have enough lifeboats. Catchy. No, no, no. It was that it was unsinkable. The unsinkable ship. That's the slogan? Yeah, but they used to say that it was unsinkable.

Okay. What ship prefix was given to the Titanic? The blank Titanic. They, him. Yeah. You don't want to talk out of step in front of the fucking titanic i tell you you'll get yourself in trouble with the fucking titanic pronouns fuck me

yeah very progressive uh what what was the length of the titanic uh three hours, Forrest. That's your final answer? I've seen it because they redid it at the moment. They did a digital thing. They sent a summer round, they digitally did it, and they fit it in the stadium, West Ham football stadium. That was a broken half of it plus a thing so i'll say it's about one and a half football stadiums okay do you know who designed it the ship um uh uh uh george titanic

i think that's right yeah uh how many days was the Titanic sailing before it hit the iceberg I got a lot of opinions on that what oh yeah I reckon I reckon it was like

it was like day okay so they they get on the boat she comes on with the hat she fucking walks around a bit So they get on the boat. She comes on with the hat.

She fucking walks around a bit. She walks around a bit. We've got a lot of questions. No, wait, I'm going to get there. I'm going to get there. So he walks around with the hat. And then she meets Jack because she's going to kill herself that night, won't she? That night she's jumping off the fucking end of the boat.

Jack comes along, stops her from suicide. And so Jack's alright. So then Jack gets rewarded, so that's the second night. Then the second night, the second night, she goes, do you want to go down to a real party? And they go, bloody, you spit around a bit

in economy. So that's the second night. This is the new Wikipedia synopsis. Then that day, he shags her. The next day. It was the night of the third day. It was the third night. I tuned out there for a second, but all right.

Thank you. Third night. How long... Oh, I already just asked that one fuck that's why you should take for the sink after the iceberg oh no because that that is accurate to the film the questions are up here too if you know yeah i don't need to check i just listen to you um uh so from the time it hit is an's an hour 40 in the movie. The movie's not completely accurate because there'd be a little bit extra.

Two hours from iceberg to sink. Okay. Upon hearing of the incident, the American press erroneously reported what? That the Titanic had sunk. That was another thing. That's correct. There was also another boat called the Olympic. It was an error, though, that the press reported.

That was the second boat. And there's a conspiracy that that one sunk and it wasn't the Titanic. Okay, we're just going to keep going. All right. Who was the captain? The reporter who responded. I don't know. sunk and it wasn't the Titanic. Okay, we're just going to keep going. Who was the captain? The reporter who responded. I don't know. Who was the captain of the Titanic?

Blake with a beard. Yeah. Are you writing down red, blue? Okay, cool. Yeah, Blake with a beard. And he was good. He was good. He went down with it.

He didn't get on a fucking boat. He's all right, him. How many people were on board? He was a terrible steerer. How many people were on terrible steerer how many people were on board the Titanic ah

it was about two thousand two thousand souls died and so I'm going to say one thousand five hundred

probably I'm going to say three and a half thousand people okay now lifeboats you mentioned that how many were on the Titanic and how many were launched after the crash there was so you got to count deck chairs so I gotta say I got a

regular I got a regular eight or nine deck chairs is one lifeboat right I don't understand this calculation I reckon you'd be looking at there would be 28 of them okay how many were launched there was 28 total and 28 He gets remarkably close with his weird mouth. So fucked up. Is that close? I think so. Okay. How many were launched? There was 28 total and 28 were launched? I believe in the movie they were all launched. People were just throwing them off in the end, weren't they? The best way to get on was with a baby.

You know what? Those people got to live, live, live. So fuck you if you're a violinist. You're a dead cunt right now, aren't you? Do you know who Violet Jessop is? Her name's up there. You know that question? Violet Jessop.

No, she's the unsinkable Molly. Yep. I don't know who she is. How many people survived? 2,000 survived. Okay. No, 2,000 died. 1,500 survived.

Okay. What was the name of the ship that responded to the Titanic's distress signals? It was one of those party ships. Gambling ship? That you have corporate functions on I've been in one of those right and been the entertainment and then had like

a really really bad gig and then the boat doesn't go back to shore for like three hours and you just have to wander around as people tell you you were shit you know how much time elapsed between the Titanic's distress calls have to wander around as people tell you you were shit, you know. How much time elapsed between the Titanic's distress calls and the arrival of the Carpathia?

Well, Carpathia can take years to come. Carpal tunnel? What is he talking about? Carpathic? What's up there? Carpathia. Oh, that would be the name of the boat. Yeah, you don't get credit for that.

Carpathia, the party ship. No credit. Yeah, no, that's the... Carpathia. Carpathia. Yeah, the ship arrived, right? How much time... Oh, that would have been fucking three hours.

And they would have been coming through icebergs, bashing into Jack's head. Just through the corpses. What's the approximate cost of building the Titanic? Too soon on the Titanic. Have you seen that inflatable castle of the Titanic? So I showed my kid the Titanic. Jack, get this up for me.

There's an... Don't... Get me... Just when you get a chance. Jack, Jack, don't listen to him. Come on, Jack, do this. Get up for me. You won't lose this bit.

Get Titanic inflatable bouncy castle. Oh. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Try to type fast so nobody can see your search history. Oh, shit. There's a lot of people with Titanic. Inflatable. Oh, yeah. Yeah, might. You're going to fight fast so nobody can see your search history? Oh, shit. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Uh. Inflatable. Oh, yeah. All right. Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Inflatable slide, yeah?

Slide. There it is. Now, get a big picture of it. Oh. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha.

Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. Now, we get the one with the kid coming down. That's the one. Ha, ha.

There it is. Ha, ha. There it is. Oh, my one. There it is. There it is. It's not too soon for the jokes, you see. And you know what? You know how much it costs? It's not that bad. It's like four or five grand. I've looked into it.

I show that to myself. It's like four or five grand. No'm Jeffrey it's like for a business though it's a company you're not gonna make your money back first few fucking slides oh you mean to buy the whole thing by the rent it out it's a business to learn it no to rent it out it's like 300 bucks yeah that's nothing so why are we not doing that well we could I didn't know what this topic was going to be. Fair point, fair point. Go out to the parking lot. But anyway, you get that slide for $5,000.

What is it? Fucking $2 a slide from the kids? You'd fucking be making bank, I'm telling you. How much did it cost, the Titanic, to build? That was five grand. How much did the Titanic take? In today's money or them days? I don't know. I don't write the questions.

It's the olden days. You want it in pounds or do you want it in dollars? Pounds. It was built in Northern Ireland, which accepts the pound, unlike the euro from regular Ireland. This is a trick Jim does when he doesn't know the answer. He just says things that he knows the answer to and he's like, I sound smart. Pounds of American money. I don't know's like I sound smart no but pounds of American money

I don't know American money oh I don't deal in American money I see not when I'm dealing he's only lived here 20 years

not when I'm dealing not when I'm dealing with the mother country do it in pounds okay so okay no I'll do it in dollars it would be

in today's money or them days money it is the cost the cost at the time. So whatever year you said it was. It's only 23 minutes in. It's good. I'm not worried about it.

Okay. It's what I always do. I know. I know. All right. So I'm going to say five million of their dollars. All right. What was...

And four farthings. Farthings? Yeah. Did you guys have have farthings were they one of your ones that's a british one what was your old coins what were they called they were always dollars and cents pennies i don't know we all still have fucking pennies what what was the nationality of the majority of the Titanic's crew members oh okay no no so if they came from England is this like the guys shoveling because is this the people shoveling the coal crew members the crew members waiters like is it the word that's everybody what's the people in the engine room to the servers to everybody yeah I'm going to say that a lot of...

I'll say I'm racist if I say this. What the fuck are you going to say? I think a lot of... Oh, shit. No, no, because... Nationality. You just have to say the country. Just say the country.

The country they're from. It's not racist. I'm going to say Spanish. Okay. What the fuck were you going to say? The boat left from England, man, so it should have been English people But I feel like Spanish people

Would want to get involved in that That would be a job So that's where it becomes racist Alright, next question You're fine I didn't do anything wrong There's no Spaniards in the room We'll edit that out, don't worry

Where is the wreck of the Titanic located? There's no Spaniards in the room. There's no Spaniards here. I think you're okay. I think you're okay. We'll check. We'll edit that out. Don't worry. Where is the wreck of the Titanic located? Just about 200 miles from Newfoundland, man. It is. It's up near the northeast of America, up a bit higher there, up into where Canada is. You go a bit further, you could get yourself some lovely lobster. Some of the best lobster you'd ever eat would be from that area. And now you can look at dead billionaires. Wasn't that amazing when those men died and zero people gave a fuck?

Like, you have some Thai kids in a cave we're praying all day right like remember those kids and we sent the submarine thing in and we got them all out and they were in a soccer team they were all trapped but when we knew there was four billionaires at the bottom of the ocean and there was still a chance that they could still be alive. We all went, fuck them. We did. There was no one even sympathetic on the news. It was like, why the fuck were they down there? That's what fucking happens when you go to the bottom of the sea, dickhead.

And then we started showing the fucking, that like knockoff playstation remote you spent 400 000 pounds you cunt and it was a fucking knockoff remote anyway i'm very sympathetic to the billionaires. Hey, you enjoying the live podcast? I know I did. I'm not recording it right now. This is later on because it's not the same room, is it? Look, hey, you have a business. You want to grow it. You've got to spend money to make money.

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Vitamin C. With three times the electrolytes of leading sports drink made with quality ingredients, no GMOs, gluten free and free of dairy and soy. But my wife wants to speak to something about Liquid IV and the charitable work they do. Tasey? Liquid IV believes that equal access to clean and abundant water is the foundation of a healthier world. They partner with leading organisations to fund and foster innovative solutions to help communities protect both their water and their futures.

To date, Liquid IV has donated over 39 million servings in 50-plus countries around the world. Not bad. Real people, real flavour, real hydrating. grab your liquid iv in bulk nationwide at costco and you'll get 20 off when you go to liquidiv.com and use the code idacat at checkout that's idkat at checkout that's 20 off anything when you shop better hydration today using the promo code IDKAT at liquidiv.com Who was the most famous person

to die in the sinking of the Titanic? That would be Leonardo DiCaprio my friend. I figured you were going to say that Maybe Maybe not at the time but he didn't know what it was ahead He was the well making of the young man I'll say the unsinkable...

No, she didn't sink. The unsinkable volley ring wall. Close enough. Yeah, yeah. I will say... Oh, the most famous person dying there, so it would have been someone from the black and white. I'm going to say it's Buster Douglas' cousin, Paul.

Who's Buster Douglas? Buster Douglas is a... Isn't he the boxer? Or Buster Keaton? Buster Keaton. Yeah, okay. The boxer would have been aware. Yeah, it would have been...

It was a lot later. Beat Mike Tyson. Why were the lifeboats not filled to capacity? Because they're rich cunts. Right? They were like... You see the movie. They do this. Oh, it's this plenty. Because they're cunts. They were like, we see the movie, they do this.

Oh, there's plenty. Because the poor people were coming on like fucking zombies, weren't they? So the people in first class were like, oh, I want a bit of space. I don't want to fucking rub next to cunts. And they're like, we hear you. We hear you. We've met some of them yourself. We didn't even meet people like this back in Spain.

I'm trying to play the staff member. I've got to tell my story the whole way through. What's notable about the SS Californian's role? SS Californian? role? Uh, SS Californian? Oh, he paid more taxes. Paid unnecessary taxes. If it was a fucking boat Nevada, it wouldn't have had to pay any of them. Cool.

Final answer? It would have picked up the dead with, like, a pool scoop. The net? Yeah, yeah, big one. There's a question. A comical sized butterfly net. You scoop them up.

We do have a question. How did they recover the bodies? Look at this bitch. Two could fit on that door. Fuck it. There you go. Next question. How did they recover the bodies of the victims? How many were recovered? So it's a lot of skips. There you go. Go to the next question. All right.

How did they recover the bodies of the victims? How many were recovered? So it's a pool scoop. Well, if they had the life jackets on, they can recover them. I'm sure there's still people inside the boat. They believe that the only old couple that went in the water starts, they just start hugging each other. I think there's dead people though, right?

There's dead people in there. Yeah, how did they recover? Isn't this how they recovered dead? How did they recover the bodies of the victims? I'm telling you a sweet story. Oh, sorry. So they've just found, there was a story about the old couple

that laid in the bed at the end that were just like, fuck it, we had a good life, let's just fucking die. I don't want to go up to that. It'd be too busy. There'd be too many people. Fuck, I hate people.

And so there was a real old couple that just laid in their room. And so they're down there. They never recovered them. Wow. That is a sweet story. That was sweet. Okay, so the people they did recover, how did they recover their bodies?

So they had to be in life jackets. Otherwise, they didn't. Maybe, I don't think they had, well, you don't have to at sea, do you? You don't have to recover bodies. But if you wanted to, yeah, pull scoop. Okay. Or like a boat with a shovel on the front of it. Like construction equipment.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a snowplow boat. Like something B.A. Baracus would make in the A-Team if he was locked up in a room with steel and a bit of welding equipment. All right. What was the ticket price for a first-class passenger on the Titanic? Your life.

Fair. And I would say 87 pounds. That would be about eight grand something, yeah. We've got a few questions left. There we go. Where are most of the Titanic artifacts currently housed and who owns them? There's a museum in Belfast called the Titanic Museum.

I haven't been in there, but yeah, I i know it's there they advertise it a lot and i think there's also a few pieces in vegas there always seems to be a titanic thing going on there we have that one right on this one yeah so that might be a cirque de soleil show cirque de soleil titanic it's like the o show it's got Show. It's got a bit of water. Got a bit of water. Doesn't it? That'd be pretty good. Yeah. People jumping,

swinging off, rolling down. Fuck, it'd be a good show. Put in the propeller. Mushrooms? Yeah, get Celine Dion singing again. Fuck, you know.

Love it. Let's get that. What year did the first ever Titanic movie come out? The first one. I'm assuming there's more than one. I don't know. Okay, that would have been 1956. It would be a black and white old movie.

Oh, no. And people running sideways like this. What was it called? Yeah. It wasn't called Titanic? I don't know. We're not experts. Sinky the boat.

Sounds like a cartoon. All right, last question. And it was a porno. Is there... Okay, Google this for me, Jack. Is there... You don't have to put the porn up there But find out if there's a porn parody Of Titanic

He's projected I will look that up There has to be I mean there's porn up I don't know if Flappers You just tell me Yes 100% I think they're all adults

There's a lot of them You can't even look at those images me yes a hundred percent they're all adults they've seen there's a lot of them yeah oh there is seems like there is oh you can't even look at those images yeah no i mean it titanic tit tango too all right okay all right you know what's going on there it's there it's a lot of tangos could you imagine how many puns there would be in a tit porno though? There's so much Scooby Doo though. We're going down, you bet I am. There was Titanic Tony. Was that a porn?

Guys, you've got sidetracked here. Last question. What maritime laws were changed as a direct result of the sinking of the Titanic? You couldn't go as close to icebergs as you used to be able to. I reckon, no, I'm serious, right? Because maybe they had like, maybe they had on their maps and shit, right? They were like, oh, there's lots of icebergs here, but as long as you're here, you're all right. You never hit it over there.

Now they're like, don't go up there. Don't go in that fucking bit. Buddy, boat hit an iceberg up there. It's like when you have a car accident and they put up a new stop sign. You know what I mean? That's the law that changed. Don't go in that bit.

Ocean stop signs. Oh, but there's so many good lobsters, man. No, you'll fucking die in that bit. You can go there in the summer. Never in the fucking winter. All right, Don. Zero through ten, how did Jim do on his knowledge of the Titanic? Ten's the best.

A lot of notes there. I wrote so many notes. Because I like to give you points for the spirit of the truth. Yeah, man. Which is why I am not employed by institutions that refuse to do your podcast. A 10 is the best. Thank you. I'm going to have to give you...

I'm going to go with a... 7.5. 7.5. Which I'm sure is the best score I've ever given you. I'm sure that's the best score. Just quickly, because I always wonder if people do this at home in their heads. So who here was answering the questions along in their heads? All right.

Who here, in all honesty, thinks they did way better than me? All right. All right. We've got some people. Yeah. There's two girls there, another lady over there. About the movie

or the history? Yeah, another bloke over here. Oh, what's the difference? So we have at least 10 or 12 people that think they would have slayed much better than me. All right.

If you can keep an honest account as we go through to the actual answers at the end, you say we'll see how you did. Yeah, you get a pack of Tums. That we

found on the table. But no, Forrest. You need those, Forrest. I think they're mine. I definitely need them. You can't be giving those away. Everybody's touched the lettuce. That's a travel pack. I got more than that. Alright, so seven and a half. How do you do on confidence kelly um you know he thought we had done titanic before so he did lose a couple of points on that i'm going to give him a seven why that makes me

even more confident that i already know all this no no i think i think i think that adds to it okay well i give the scores you don't that's 14 and a half. Well, I give the scores. You don't. That's 14 and a half for Etcetera. I'll give you like 20. A lot of laughter there. That was good. So, yeah. Titanic.

You did a good job. Very good. Very good. All right. Very good. Very good. On her maiden voyage. This is our maiden voyage.

That's very cool. How cute. Give me another half point for that. You got a lot of points already. I gave you 20. When did the Titanic take off on our maiden voyage and from where? Jim said Southampton, 1924. I was devastated because you had it

absolutely correct the first time. It was 1912. It was April 10. I thought, oh my god, We're off to a fantastic start. Oh, no. I did the age wrong. That lady was older than I thought. 1912.

And Rose Decatur, if you are tracking your history through the film, which I think is a perfectly appropriate thing. Also why I'm not a very serious historian, however much I may read, is because I think you can learn a lot from the movies and it's okay. And this movie does have a lot of accurate history in it. So James Cameron did his... Rose and Jack, of course, are made up. That, of course, is made up, the necklace.

Rose was very unnecessary. But she was also 17 in the movie. Well, that makes the nudie-roodie scene a bit worse, doesn't it? But he was also... Have I committed a crime? I love how you're just thinking about it now when ten minutes ago she was 14. You're like, oh fuck, she's 17?

I was being funny before. The problem with Rose is she was only asked one question. She was just asked one question. Where's the diamond? And then she went, some call it the ship of slaves. Others call it the ship of kings. Bringing me, yeah, yeah, we just, just where's that diamond? When I saw Jack, and they're all like this, fuck

me, old people can talk. And they're like, just let her, she'll get to it eventually. No one, she's old. Grandkids don't call her anymore. She fucking, she likes to have a fucking chat. Didn't she have like seven trunks too or something? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A fucking ton of suitcase. And then they're like this, eventually they were just like this,

listen lady, we're renting this equipment by the hour. And then they're like this. Eventually they were just like this. Listen, lady, we're renting this equipment by the hour. We just want to know where the fucking diamond is. And then the cunt throws it overboard. I'm telling you, Rose is the worst person. That ever lived.

Ever. So 1912 and it was... It goes, Rose, Hitler. Eddie Armin. Was it Southampton? It was Southampton, exactly. But to be fair, it leaves Southampton on April 10th, 1912. It stops in France France and it stops in Ireland and does its official

trek across the Atlantic. Begins from Queensland, Ireland on April 11th. And where did Rose get on? Was she at Southampton? She had to do all these little drop-offs as well? I believe the film presumes she's picked up in Queensland, Ireland. I think that

she goes from the gate. Because she could have had a lot more flirting time there. She didn't do it, did she? Anyway, it's in Southampton. I know that. I'll tell you... I circled. I plus one and I circled it.

I'll tell you a fun little story about me. My parents are both Australian people who met in London when they were over there for a year in their 20s trying to just travel a bit you know what I mean and they went over on a boat called the Oriana which took two and a half weeks to go from Sydney to Southampton and And Southampton, if you haven't been, is a shithole. I used to do a lot of comedy in Southampton when I lived in Britain.

It's a fucking dump. Hello to our fans in Southampton. But you know. Is it you for Southampton, mate? Yeah, you know, right? Look, look, look. I'll give it up for Southampton. You're better than Portsmouth, no doubt. No doubt.

You're fucking shit on Portsmouth. Portsmouth sucks dick, but you're not much better. Anyway. Well done. 100. Anyway, so the whole thing is my parents came into the thing, and after two and a half weeks of being on a boat, they saw Southampton, and their first words were,

what the fuck have we done? There you go. It's a good story. Was the intended destination of the Titanic's maiden voyage New York? 100% New York City. Wow, Jim. Yep. And they were due, well, I don't know if that's a question later.

How long? They were supposed to arrive in, do you know how long it would take in 1912 to get from? That wasn't one of the questions. I think i said that they were supposed to arrive do you what date were they if they left april 10th when were they due to arrive in new york april 18th 17th oh 17th one day oh you're so you're very intuitive you're a dummy but you're very intuitive to to my real fans out there, you're welcome. The 17th gave them a day

to prepare. April 18th. They were fucked either way, those people. The Titanic slogan. Was it, we have enough lifeboats? Or the unsinkable ship? No, and this is where you lost

a couple points. It was the ship of dreams. Some called it the ship of dreams. It was also the queen of the ocean. But in fact, you lost a point there because they never actually advertised that the Titanic was an unsinkable ship. That would not have been a feature you would mention. It would be like, our restaurant never burns down.

This is an unburned item. You just wouldn't, like, ships weren't sinking that much anymore. It would have been very strange. It was just that it was the biggest and best thing ever made. So it was, like, implied. But by today's standards, it's a little shit, though, isn't it? Like, if you'd been on one of those cruise ships now, they have water slides, don't they?

Fucking water slides. A whole water park and a go-kart fucking track and mini-golf. This thing had fucking four smoke fucking holes. It was fucking shit, Titanic. It was tall. It was the... If you had stuck the Titanic in the dirt

by her stern and measured her, she was the tallest thing on earth at the time. She was taller than the Washington Monument, taller than St. Peter's, taller than the pyramids. That's what they said about me. That's what they said about Kelly, too, and they were right. She's beautiful. What ship?

Ship of dreams. What ship? And I do go down. Prove it! Prove it! Prove it! I'm just kidding. I don't do that anymore. She'd have a better job than this if she did. I'd get paid a whole lot more, that's for sure. The ship Prefix was given to the Titanic.

Was it they him? No, and they're all she, Jim. Come on, even if that was right. It was the Royal Mail Ship, RMS Titanic. Or the SS was also, the steamship Titanic was also acceptable. The what? Which one, the SS? Our RMS, the Royal Mail Ship.

She was a mail ship. She had a ton of cargo that was mail. She was mail? She was a post office ship. Like postage? A mail royal mail. Ah, so she was a post female. Oh, God.

She was. Oh, no, no, no. So hang on. So she was a male post female ship. She was post. Yes. Yeah. Spain.

Correct. It might be too soon to talk about the Titanic after all. What was the length of the Titanic? You said three hours. And then one and a half football stadiums. I don't know. I can't do the math. She was almost 900 feet long.

I don't know how that compares. That's like a football field. Yeah, it's 100 yards. You said one and a half. Isn't it three per yard? Yeah, I'm like an idiot. Three football fields? Three. Three football field. Yeah, it's 100 yards. You said one and a half. Isn't it three per yard? Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot. How many football fields? Three football fields.

Fuck, you've got a good angle, don't you? You picked a fucking banger of a seat, didn't you, Sonny? I hope I haven't had my ass hanging out. Just out of respect for you, man. You should be seeing me faces

I'm a salaried ah well who designed the Titanic was it George Titanic no it was Mr. Andrews was the architect and he went down with the ship as well. That is accurately featured in the book.

Okay, because she had a sister ship, the Olympic or something, right? Correct. And they were almost identical. Their exteriors were almost exactly the same, but the Titanic was more luxurious inside. Joseph Ismay, in particular, had made some personal and specific adjustment,

make the windows more beautiful and the chandeliers brighter. Except for all the water, though. That was a problem. The water ruined it all. But yeah, the Olympic was her sister. Okay, so Olympic, we know that Olympic means big, because the Olympics and Olympus and Olympic means big. Sure.

Because the word Titanic means big now, but did it always, you get what I'm saying? Did it always mean, when you go, this was Titanic, right? Did that word always mean massive?

It implied size, but a Titan was a character from mythology. Oh, it's from Titans. That makes sense. Yeah. So it'd be a beast.

And what's a tick? An imposing, yeah. I don't think Olympic means big either, but. Olympus. Exactly. You can keep doing this all you want. It's not think Olympic means big either. Olympus! You can keep doing this all you want. It's not going to make it big.

The mountain of the gods. Massive, epic. Greek mythology. It means big, right? It means godly, which to most men means big. Yes. Nice.

How many days... You're going to offend me. I'm not a ship. How many days was the Titanic sailing before it hit the iceberg? And you said the third night. That was actually... I was very delighted by that because it's probably the most accurate.

The night of the third day. So depending on how you look at it, she went down on the fourth day of her maiden voyage. But that depends on if you're in Encyclopedia Titanica, which is a forum that exists. If you start counting from the day she launched in South Haven, if you start from the day that she launched. What would the **** say?

They would say we refuse to answer this stupid fucking question. We don't even want our answers on your podcast. Google it, you dumb twats. But it was, it's the fourth. Is that a full-time job, being a member of the ****?

Appeared to be so. With the vitriol in their email. Him and a ship that lived four days. You get to spend a lifetime being a cunt about it. No, but do you reckon they get paid well for that? I don't know. Where do they give their talks? Do they go to schools?

That was the wildest part. I'm like, why bother being an expert if you don't do podcasts about it? If you don't do this, why? I don't know. If they show up on Rogan, I'll be very disappointed. These kinds of jobs are usually held by the billionaires, which are part

of an answer that comes later. Yeah, maybe he's at the bottom of the ocean now. I don't know. These are often jobs made up by hangers-on of either very, very smart people or very, very rich people that go, well, I could open a museum with all your money and sit there all day and tell people to go fuck themselves.

And then when I go to brunch with Barbara, I can tell her I'm very important and have a very important job. This is what rich fucking people do. I feel like there's an exact person that you're talking about. There's only you left. Anyway, yeah, go fuck yourself, Jenny. There was a specific hurt in your life anyway yeah go fuck yourself Jenny there was a specific hurt

in your voice maybe maybe how long did it take for the Titanic to sink after hitting the iceberg was it two hours it was two and a half hours hang on

is that on the on the it was shorter than the movie so it was two and a half hours I said two hours it wasn't too bad not too bad not too bad

but that okay when do you count it from the second you hit the iceberg So it was two and a half hours. I said two hours. It wasn't too bad. Not too bad. Not too bad. But that, okay, when do you count it from the second you hit the iceberg? She hit the iceberg. To the second you see the bit, like, go down the bottom? Right. So she struck the iceberg at 11.40 p.m. on April 14th, 1912. And she was completely submerged, as if erased. The biggest thing humans had ever made, just like, by 2.20 a.m. And within that, the folks who were in the water, dying,

could be heard for between 15 minutes and 30 minutes. And then it was about another hour and a half that the survivors had to just sit there in the dark. Right, but on the boat, right? and it was about another hour and a half that the survivors had to just sit there in the dark. Right. But on the boat, right? So, yeah, from the time it struck. But you didn't feel, they didn't feel,

a lot of people slept through the impact. The firemen you mentioned who were working down in the lower, they were the first to die, the ones shoveling coal right down at the bottom. And then the folks who were in the bow, because she went down the bow first. But folks realized this shit's, the general population realized that this shit's going to sink

with about 45 minutes left to go. We had these, there were true-false, we took them out, and Jim mentioned them. There was the band. The band, of course the band was there. That's the heart of the film. Can't back that up.

The band's the fucking heart. At the end they say, well it was nice playing with you and they shake each other's hands and they go off to get on the lifeboat and they went, you know what, fuck it.

Let's keep playing. And they played until they slid. Fuck. I salute you band. What was the name of the band? The Spaniards Is the band real? I'm so glad we got it back Not only was the band real

But they played Until the literal water Was washing up at their feet And here's how we know And the music if you're a big fan of the movie, you remember the scene where the old couple is in the bed and get flooded. That big sweeping score is nearer my God to thee, which is, by all accounts, the last song they played.

So it's very appropriate that it was that scene in the movie because this is for them. And the reason we know is because there were so many survivors that would say, I fucking saw the band play. I slipped down the water, and the fucking by with the violin. And then the folks who were in the lifeboats,

who were several yards away, already afraid of being pulled down by the undertow, were like, is the band playing? There's no other explanation. There wasn't recordings. You know what I mean? And they were like, yeah, they're playing. And they knew they were playing Nearer My God to Thee.

They could even name the song. It's stunning. And they found the bodies of... They all died. The musicians all died. Spoiler alert. But they do find one of them clinging to his instrument. That's how he's found.

Yeah, but that's what would have helped him float. He wasn't... You were fucking all of sentimental cuts. He held on to music till the end. If I had a fucking cello, I'd be taking that with me as well. Like, get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Tuba. Tuba wouldn't have been good, though.

I don't know about that one. That is sinker. Upon hearing of the incident, the American press incorrectly reported what? You said the Titanic had sunk. That's correct. Yeah, because it was too early. It hadn't sunk yet.

I don't think you got a point for that. Here we go. On the lifeboats, right? On the lifeboats. Switch it up. On the lifeboats. How long did you say it took? Two and a half hours.

Two and a half hours. Two and a half hours. All right. So when they saw a boat, what, 40 minutes away? They could see something 40 minutes away coming towards them maybe? It would have been an hour and a half where they didn't know anyone. Oh, how long? After the boat had sunk and they were sitting there? Did they always know they were getting saved?

No, no. Okay, so they were panicking. So how long do you reckon it would be before you'd be allowed to go, can I have a piss off the side of the boat? Because someone has to do it first because you think we're going to be here a long time. Or even worse as shit. Someone has to do it first because you don't know another boat's coming. How long do you reckon

that'll be? I reckon an hour and a half. There would have been one bloke who did it. I think you'd pee yourself. We're going to be here for ten hours.

Just pee in your pants and stay warm. It's so cold. No, you sit next to the unsinkable Molly Sugden. Who? Who is this person? The Violet Jessup question.

Molly Sugden was on a TV show called Are You Being Served in Britain. It's a deep cut, all right? Yeah, you've said a lot of it. So, wait, what did they report in the press? Anyway, so how long do you get shit over the edge? Yeah, we'll get back to that one. To the first question, uh newspapers in the morning so really the

many of the survivors are in the lifeboats floating out there the press was printing that the titanic had hit an iceberg but was fine and everyone was going to be arrive on time in new york right or would i come to halifax that the titanic had struck an iceberg but it was cool everyone was fine you bet it was cool that Everyone was fine. You bet it was cool. That's another thing about the movie, right? When you're outside of the boat, the water seems to be four times colder than the water inside the boat. Jack was fucking wearing a bloody linen shirt

and a pair of slacks, and he was handcuffed to a pipe with the water up to his waist now later on in the movie when he's in the water he's got icebergs fucking coming off him all right this time he's just like this a bit brisk isn't it and it came out through the engine and then he's running through it like this like this the other one he can't fucking move, icebergs and shit. So why was the water... It wasn't the engine.

It came down from the bottom. No, no, no. It came through a fucking hole like everything else in this world. I'll never be able to use that line again. That saddens me that I just said that I wish I could be cooler and just accept that I did it and leave it alone but now I've fucking talked about it made it a moment now

it's recorded who was the captain of the Titanic bloke with a beard he was good went down with it he went down with that shit like Dido in that song that's right. Captain Smith, which I think if you say the guy with the beard,

it's essentially Mr. Smith. You're going to get the same thing. Mr. Smith? Excellent in Lord of the Rings also. Is he an actor in Lord of the Rings? Same actor. He's the king. Somebody knows better than I do.

Wait, who is he? The captain from Titanic is the dad who's all crusty and then comes out of his crustiness. The horse people. Yeah. Who guards... I'm surprised

there's not more nerds. He's Bernard Hill. Someone just said he's Bernard Hill. He was right. Same guy. Captain Smith. All right.

There you go. How are you guys doing? The people that thought they did better than Jim, you doing good? Like, you getting them all right? All right. Good confidence.

Okay. He's seven so far. How are you going over here? You got eight? That's pretty good. I think I got seven. I wish my scoring was that simple that I added. I just sort of went, ooh, out of ten.

Then you've got to judge it. Then you've got to judge it. I'm sorry, how many people were on board the Titanic? There were 2,200 souls aboard. Total. That includes crew, that includes passengers. What did I say?

You said 2,500. You said 2,500. There was a few illegals in the basement. They didn't count because they weren't fucking paying them properly. You did say you were doing it under the fucking books. And I'm telling you, that's what happened. There's more people there.

You said something. You kept saying there were 23. No, you said there were 3000 people aboard and that 2200 died. 3500, 2000 died. 2000 died. How many died? 1500 died. It's not that fucking many000 died. 2,000 died. How many died? 1,500 died. It's not that fucking many. What were you all concerned about?

Wait, so there was 2,000 total? About 2,200. So 1,500 died, 700 lived. Right. Give or take. How many people came out of the lifeboats technically onto the Carpathia was 705.

But then some of them died before they got back to New York. How many of the 700 who survived were women and children? A vast majority. A vast majority. How many men survived? It's the percentages. I don't remember exactly. But it's maybe 20% of the survivors.

And they would have been right cunts. Right? Well, no. You know what? Actually, we haven't gotten... They would have gotten off the boat like this. Oh, ladies! Fucking hell, that was fucking shit, wasn't it?

Fuck! Yeah. Well, you remember the guy... Some of you are single now, I guess. Pew! Well, you remember the guy from the movie with the twirly mustache who hops in? He's the Joseph Ismay.

He's the guy who says, this ship cannot sink. And then he hops into a lifeboat and the guy got to evilize him as he waves him down. That 100% happened. I don't know if you looked at him like that. But Joseph Ismay was one of the higher ups at the white star line certainly the most high level

executive to be on the ship he called a lot of these guys he survived he got shamed to shit who was he sorry who is this esra go what was he he was joseph ismay was like an executive from the white star line the company that owned the Olympic and owned the Titanic and owned all these ships and he was very impressed. He was sort of pressing everyone to be even more impressed with the Titanic than they were and then when it all fell apart he snuck out.

Do you reckon that he took a little fucking jar of moustache wax with him? I don't know. But he was sued. Like if he knew he had to really go, he'd be like, fuck, we won't be out there for a while. He did.

When he got into the Carpathia, he asked for a private suite and tea because he was just so distraught. He was having such a terrible time. And when he got to New York, he had to go to court. And he was like, I got on the boat because somebody had to explain

to the White Star Line. Somebody from the white star line had to live to tell you guys how it wasn't our fault. Oh wow, so you could be in trouble for being a man on the boat because you didn't let women and children on first.

Exactly, and there were a few, and the problem was I don't know if we got into this, but the lifeboats weren't full and you said they were rich cunts, which is fair. Some of got into this, but the lifeboats weren't full. And you said they were rich cunts, which is fair. Some of that was true. And they show Rose in the movie. Rose's mom is like, is there class?

Women are always very angry about not being able to vote for a long time. You got on the fucking boat first. Come on. Let's call it fucking even. Boating or voting? Come on. Oh, it was nice, though. That was fair. No, we had a few perks. That's fair.

There were a few perks. Died in most of the wars. Come on. I'm going to take a lot of elbows in the next apocalypse. I accept that. Guys, we're all right. Not the fucking moustache twiller. He's a right cunt, but the rest of us. The problem was, it was at first. But you know what the problem was?

It was at first, they didn't think the ship was going to sink. Of course, you know, they weren't telling everyone the ship was going to sink. And this getting into these lifeboats was a huge pain in the ass because you got to get down the side of the boat

and sit in the cold and then it's a false alarm and then they bring you back up and they're like, I'd rather sit with the caviar. Well, here's the floor in the lifeboats. So even if they had enough lightboats for everybody, right? In the movie, I'm sure this is how it happened in real life, you had to have men on ropes.

Correct. Right? Going like this, lowering it down. So even if you had enough lightboats for everybody, there always had to be four cunts at the end. You're kind of a genius, Jim. Can I tell you what? Because James Cameron, 20 years after the movie, all these questions. The door. Could Rose

and Jack have both fit on the door? How long would it have taken? All these questions he was asked. He got his fucking set back together and recreated as much as he could. Because none of this was all fiction but people kept saying it still couldn't have gone this way. And one of the questions that they answered was

if they had had more lifeboats could more people have survived? And the answer was no. They didn't have any more time to lower any more lifeboats. This thing is already at an angle. You need people to be operating it. It needs to have some sort of ability. So they had 10 more lifeboats.

Those lifeboats were, for example. How many were there? That's the next question. How many were there? Jim said 28, and then... There were 20. And how many were launched? Well, 18 were launched.

Two of those 20 were what they called collapsible boats. And in defense, the Titanic had more lifeboats than were legally required. That wouldn't make you feel good when you purchased it. The Titanic was also collapsible, to be fair. If you ever had a car dealership and they said, this car's a collapsible car, this one. Is it? Is it?

I'll have ten of them. The idea with lifeboats when you're in the middle of the Atlantic is that anything that sinks a ship fast, lifeboats are useless. So if it's a hurricane or a whale or a bomb, you are not like, quick, everybody, get in the little boats that float next to the big boat where we'll be so much safer, right?

So the only way the lifeboats were really used was if you hit something, you were sinking slowly, you impacted another ship, and so you could get people 700 at a time a thousand at a time to ferry off because everyone always says that whole thing and there wasn't enough light bulb but so that didn't matter so the people who designed it they should have had even less really do you know what right there were there were in a in a if anything they were too generous with their life and seven or eight years, there was this huge panel of assholes

from this museum who actually showed up, and everybody, and they're talking about how and if more people could have survived this Titanic, what were the scenarios that would have worked out, and some guy, just some amateur guy was like, what if they ferried the people in the lifeboats to the iceberg? Ooh. That's exactly what everyone

in that room said. The boat went for a while past the iceberg. It was a field of icebergs. You'd want to go see the original one. There's no... It'd be worth a try, man.

You wouldn't want to go to the one. It's like those people who go to fucking Joshua where they try to get the actual picture of the U2 cover. You're not. That's a different tree, man. I think it's actually Death Valley. All right, who is Violet Jessop? This is where you started saying Molly fucking whatever a lot.

The unsinkable Molly. There it is again. All right, Violet Jessup. Who's Violet Jessup? Violet Jessup is this, there's so many amazing characters throughout. Molly Brown is one of them. Jessup, Violet Jessup was this.

Molly Brown. She was feisty. Played by Bates, wasn't it? Kathy Bates, yeah. She plays a good homely woman in a movie. Whenever I see her come on screen, I'm like, oh, there's going to be a homely person who might be friendly or

scary. Who knows? Hard to say. Oh, the surprise will be mine. Actually, Violet Jessup has a cameo in the movie. There's a moment when Mr. Andrews is like Right Violet make sure your life jacket's on tight

Because she was a stewardess And she was too hot for the job To be an air stewardess You know they looked Kind of like nurses and sort of Like nannies and they were just sort of a yes ma'am Yeah but back in the day that was the hot Job man

A ship stewardess What's the difference between a ship stewardess. A ship stewardess. What's the difference between a ship stewardess and an air stewardess? One's in the water. More threat of drowning. Yeah, but air stewardesses were good looking in the 60s and stuff. That was like a thing. Sure.

She was too hot for the ships. I used to do a joke about that. Remember when air stewardesses were really hot, like in the 60s and 70s? Well, none of those women have retired have you been on a plane lately fuck me so viola jessup you have to prop them up that's thank you you sit down have my chair she was kind of like that. Kind of like that. Her skirt was a lot longer.

Anyway, so she was like a hot air stewardess, yeah. Yeah, and she had been on the Olympic when it had had a collision, like a couple of months before this. And people were like, you can't be on this boat. You're too distracting. You make people crash. You're too good looking. I don't know.

They said she had to cover her good looks. I don't know. I don't know. Cut too good yeah she had to i don't know they said she had to cover her good looks i don't know where mu i don't know cutter bangs bad bangs i don't know but they they were like yes you can be a a stewardess on the titanic and then she survives the titanic somebody hands her a baby yeah in the middle of the thing she holds on to a baby on this boat and then when they get to the carpathia someone's like, my baby! And like runs off. She finds and then she gets this anonymous letter when she's working on another ship years later that also

gets struck in World War I and fucking sinks. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Was that baby the real parents that actually went, my baby? I believe so because she gets this letter that says, you remember the baby? I was the baby. And somebody said, oh this was a prank. And she's like, no, I never told anybody about the baby story. So she met up with the baby.

Apparently it was a prank. Wait, so she's on another ship that sinks? She was on three. The first one almost sank. The second one was the Titanic. And the third one was the Olympic during the war. Oh, so she's the problem. She's the problem. She survived them all, yeah? She survived them all.

She died in her 80s. That's the privilege of She survived them all, yeah? She survived them all. She died in her 80s. That's the privilege of the hot chick right there. Always spared. There's no guy or frumpy woman who survives three sinking boats. Your luck would run out sooner or later. Am I a terrible person? Is that a terrible thing to say? No, you're very accurate.

I think it's historically accurate. I'm looking through the indexes of history here, and I see no lies. Just facts. Yeah, facts. How many people survived? We already said 700, right? Yeah, 700.

705 technically. 700. Are any of them still alive? No. Raise your hand. No, but if you go to Encyclopedia Titanica, somebody had their wits about them enough. Does that still exist?

It really exists. It's a great website. And they have videos of a bunch of survivors before they die. You know what I mean? Like in the 70s and 80s, somebody with a video camera was like, wait, all the Titanic survivors

are going to be dead in a few years and they have just a plethora of video of them. Did they get a good documentary? Why didn't someone make a good documentary when we could? Well, that would be 1912. It was tough. Like in 1950, we could have made a good... There was the book version of a documentary, actually,

which was where the films... I don't know if we can get to the film schedule. The book version of a documentary, actually, which was where the films, I don't know if we can get to the film schedule. The book version of a documentary. But the book version of a documentary, meaning it was eyewitness accounts and interviews and taken specifically from everyone who was there and sort of laid out like a documentary. Okay, so the Carpathia is the ship that first responds,

and then how long did it take after the distress signals to get there? Yeah, the Carpathia comes three and a half hours in. So they're alerted that the Titanic is sinking shortly after midnight, and they confirm it's true, because just like everyone else, they're like, right. And then they haul ass and go as fast as they can, and arrive around 3.30 in the morning. Why didn't they hit an iceberg

right because they were doing slightly better conspiracy theories no they went slow as shit when they when they all asked in the iceberg field and then they had because they also didn't want to hit survivors with their two blokes in a basket going like this i can spill ice yeah yeah it's fucking easy man you. I can smell the coal, but I can't smell ice. With those legs. Yeah, you remember that from the film? His stereotypical character. Yeah, I know that really well.

Wasn't that it? Did I dream that? That was in the movie, right? That was in the movie. That's right. Fucking ice. Where is it? Confirmed.

And it's true that they alert. They ring down to the helm. And he goes hard to starboard, and that's why it sank. If they had hit the iceberg... I smell dries. Yeah, if they had hit it straight on, they would have survived. What was the approximate cost of building the Titanic? Five million of their dollars.

Their dollars. Yeah. That's another reason you got a good point. It was like two and a half million at the time. Right, which in today's money? It's like seven and a half million. Yeah, something like that. $7.5 million?

No, get the fuck out of here. I looked up... I've watched Below Deck. There's fucking boats worth about. I looked it up and I was shocked because I was like, that... I'm not going to... Oh, $7.5 million in 1912.

Okay, in today's dollars it would cost roughly $400 million. Because the original thing I looked at, it said $7.5 million in today's money, and I was like, no wonder it fucking sank. That's really fucking cheap. I'm glad I pulled you up on that. That was an historical inaccuracy. We would have gotten in trouble there.

Fucking hell. $400 million makes sense. The movie was one of the first films to cost over 200 million, Forrest. Let that show in the records. Forrest. What was the nationality

of the majority of the Titanic's crew members? I think now because it's the ice people, I'm going to say they're British. Okay. They were not just British. English and not just English. Predominantly Southampton. The majority of the crew lived in Southampton.

So the Spaniards didn't want to get involved. They had nothing to do with it. That would have been a good job for them. And the English make such shit food, it would have been more enjoyable to cruise. They had nothing to do with it. That would have been a good job for them. And the English make such shit food, it would have been more enjoyable to cruise. They had no spice. They boiled all their meat back then. It would have been atrocious.

Moving on. Where is the wreck of the Titanic located? Is it 200 miles from Newfoundland? Yeah, it's exactly right, right in the North Atlantic. You want to know how I learned that? Because some billionaires died recently. I never knew where it was

and then I was watching the news and I was like, their death isn't in vain because I learned something. Who was the most famous person to die in the sinking of the Titanic? First Jim said Leonardo DiCaprio then he said the unsinkable Molly Ringwald. Buster Keaton's

brother Paul. Buster Douglas. Molly Brown survived, but she was with John Jacob Astor, who was the most famous guy at the time. He was one of... He was the richest

man in America. It'd be like Elon blowing up in one of his rockets. He was the richest man in America, and he was one of the richest men in the world. So what was he rich for? His family was oil and railroad, like old legendary money. Ah, Texas tea. Out of point to that. Steel.

But he also, John Jacob Astor also wrote a science fiction novel about the year 2000 that is like fascinating did he predict anything right yes and his honeymoon

he was 47 and his honeymoon was with his 19 year old pregnant wife and that's why Molly Brown was with him on their honeymoon

because she was a divorcee with a foul mouth who was like I won't judge you let's go to the pyramids fuck so she was accompanying them on their honeymoon because she was a divorcee with a foul mouth who was like, I won't judge you. Let's go to the pyramids. So she was accompanying them on their honeymoon. They were buddies. Why were the lifeboats not filled to capacity?

We talked about that. Well, they also refused. They wouldn't get in. The first lifeboat could hold 57. It had like 23 people in it because they were begging people to get in the boats. And they were like, no. It's going to be cold out there.

And they didn't believe it would sink. They didn't believe it would sink. And they were trying to sink the fucking boats. And that's why some of the men who survived and got a ton of shit were like, they told me to get in the boat to be a good example. I got in the boat and I thought, fuck. And then I watched it sink.

Oh, that is a good argument. Yeah. And they did. There's also..., that is a good argument. Yeah, and they did. There's also... That's what I would say. Yeah, I was leading. But then they found two of these half-empty boats and they combined them, which I think is represented in the movie,

and they take that boat back. One boat goes back to try to find some survivors and pluck survivors out of the water, and they... Five. Three, five. Three, five. I think five they pluck out, three survive. And who did they pluck out of the water with their scoops?

Who did they get? I don't know exactly who they, I don't remember exactly who they scooped out. What is notable about the SS Californian's role, Jim said, didn't pay any, or did, Pays more taxes. Paid more taxes. Too many taxes.

If it was in Nevada, wouldn't have to do that. Picked up the dead with a pool net. No. No, the S's Californian was 10 miles away, close enough to watch her sink. And did watch her sink

and didn't know what was going on. They didn't... The Marconigram, the radio... But it wasn't like they were masturbating. They didn't know.

Or were they? They didn't know. They didn't have their radio on. They didn't know they were sinking. The thing's up on the floor. They didn't have their radio they they didn't know they didn't have their radio on they were thinking the things up on the phone they didn't have

their radio on they were looking the radio they're from California they're all stoned they're like this fucking hell the radio was like

new it was like it was like wifi on a plane like you can't expect it it's not everywhere and if you have a marconigram

on your boat that's great but then you gotta have somebody awake to fucking operate it you and i could sit here and hear the neen and we don't know what it means you got to have someone awake and this guy i mean i didn't know the morse code but exactly right and so you have to be a radio operator to be able to literally save our soul right i know well know. Well, they had him, and he had on the SS California. Yeah. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Yeah, he knows Morse code.

You would have been so handy in this. Someone in the back says no. I don't think it was exactly. Some kind of a back that's like this. As a Morse code professional. I don't think it was Morse code existed quite yet. It's dot dash dot dot.

But it was a tapping. Yeah. This guy in California told the Titanic to slow down and they told him to shut up. He had already said, you're going too fast into an iceberg field, man. And they were like, fuck, we know. And so he turned off the radio and went to bed.

And then two hours later, they're like, fuck, fuck, fuck. Do you reckon Morse code operators' wives are very happy? But they have in their logs. The guy's looking. They didn't see it enough to see. They saw it sinking and said it looked tippy. In their logs, they said, we see the Titanic. She looks tippy. I like how angry you our Jim's just fingering somebody over here pointing

at the crowd like you got me Joe he doesn't do this that was me being an old man going, hey! I just want to get that fucking correct. And how did they get the body? Was it a pool scoop? Or just a scoop on the front? I want to say one other thing about the Californian. They saw the flares and they thought they were having a party. Oh yeah.

They were like, wow. It kind of feels like it was just a giant fucking... I've been on one of those big Disney cruises. They do that on the Friday night. They do, and you've got to sit on your balcony and you watch it with the kids. Oh, whoa! Pretty good day.

That guy's shitting off the side of the boat. It's fucking fun. Nice. What was the ticket price for our first... Oh, you didn't admit the recovering the body, the victims? It was a different ship. It was a ship called the McKay Bennett, and it went out of Halifax a couple days later,

and they were, they went out in boats and picked the people up one at a time if they were floating, and they looked for IDs in their clothes or in their pockets, some way to identify them, and then, um, this is kind of oogie, I got a gory detail. Most of them, of course, are frozen like this.

So to a person, they had to break everybody's arms and legs just to get them into the boat. Oh, no. And a lot of these folks, like John Jacob Astor, because they're all like this and frozen. What you do is you get a couple of poles this way. Then you bring them all in Where were you? They needed you They're fucking doing you a favor Easily stackable

I'm sure they're still taking notes They're coming back into port like that They look great They drop like this, boom, that one defrosted Oh my god Let me tell you the Titanic Society was right

to not do this five classes honestly I have a lot of regret I didn't expect this episode they might have liked it they might have

thrown this enjoyable what was what was the ticket price for a first class passenger in the Titanic alright so this is for today there were three classes

there was steerage and then there was first, and then there was the best, like Rose and what's his name? Billy Zanes. Cow. In today's, this is converting it from pounds to dollars. Was there mayonnaise on the boat? Was there mayonnaise?

There was no mayonnaise in the boat. What is that? Is that mayonnaise or what's mayonnaise? What did they put on their sandwiches? They're water lilies. The monays. No, from the monays. The paintings.

Monays. I thought you were saying mayonnaise. No, monays. I wasn't asking about mayonnaise. I assumed there would have been mayonnaise. It's British cooking. It's like their main condiment. It brings me to the next question.

Is mayonnaise a condiment? All right, show of hands, who thinks it's a condiment? Yes, of course. Who thinks it's not a condiment? What is it? What is it? It's shit. It's shit, that's right.

I turn around so unoften and that's all you've got for me? All right, so mayonnaise is a condiment. So the price was? So converting pounds to dollars and then into modern money, it was about 800 bucks for a steerage third class cabin. And the highest cost ticket would have been, by today's money, about $92,000 000 just under 100 grand that's for your like multiple bedrooms yeah that's for super rich people it was international travel wasn't a thing there i get that that sounds like plane tickets have gone down once you get more boats it would have gotten cheaper no i reckon hey did the did the titanic company

after the titanic sank did they they just go build another one did they stay in business what happened to them well the they still had three other ships in the fleet and it was the white star line is the like company that owns all of these and they had a pretty dark record nobody wants to get on a white star line ship after that. People kind of get it. So prices would have gone down, right? But then World War I starts two years later, and all these ships are repurposed from luxury to wartime. So this whole period in human history,

the idea that our biggest, most beautiful shit was just for people to travel and spend their money, was spent directly into our first World War and our biggest machinery has been for war ever since. Except for that one with the water park on the top of it. That's right.

Where are most of the Titanic artifacts currently housed and who owns them? Jim said it's a museum in Belfast. Belfast? Hasn't been. Belfast has a really great Titanic exhibit that was built in 2012. It's called the Titanic Experience. And it is about the building of the ship and being from there. But the largest collection of Titanic artifacts is in the Luxor in Las Vegas.

What? And I said Las Vegas. Got a point. I just went. In the Luxor? At the Luxor at the Luxor in Vegas which I know

I hate it too but there's this company called so they've got Chris Angel Chris Angel Blue Man Group Blue Man Group

and Titanic and it's right in the same lobby man has anyone seen Chris Angel lately because all of his posters he's got all thin with abs

and stuff and hanging on crosses and like that and then you see him he's a little chubbier like I know it's that picture thing it's yeah you shouldn't have fucking photos of yourself in the lobby it fucks your audience up because as soon as chris angel walks out now everyone goes like this oh there's nothing wrong with him. It's just that he's not the picture from 10 years ago. There was an event that sort of, like,

premoned this billionaires dying in the submarine thing in the mid-'90s. This company that owns the artifacts that are in the Luxor is called RMS Titanic Inc. And it is just a bunch of billionaires. What they've done is they donate gazillions of dollars to like scientific institutions and education institutions and then in exchange your best minds are going to help me find the titanic right so i can't afford

all the engineering but i can afford to fund the school so there's like this fuckery that kind of goes on and then they own all of the artifacts and they had this huge public event in the 90s with buzz aldrin and Burt Reynolds and all these fucking celebrities went out into the north, in Halifax, and they had like cocaine fucking party and it was like $5,000 a seat. That's where you got his name, Buzz, from.

To watch this RMS Titanic Inc. company bring up the largest artifact they had ever brought. They had this huge slab on side with complete portholes, and everyone was so excited to see it. And then as they brought it up, the wind picked up, and the waves picked up, and things started spinning around, and it was scary,

tragic, and they could just sort of see it below the waves, and the wires broke, and it fell all the way back down. Do some more coke. But then they got it. It's there. I saw it. It's very underwhelming.

They're good. It was a big party. But Reynolds, he still would have fucked something. What year did the first ever Titanic movie come out? Jim said 1956. Sinky the Boat was a porn. The first movie came out

two months after the disaster. It was in 1912. And it starred a woman named Dorothy who was a survivor. She was a model and an actress who had survived the actual sinking and wore her clothes from the sinking in the movie.

And there were all the copies. But how did they turn it around so quickly? I understand. Silent, no sound. Everybody knows in this town how fast shit can go when there's no sound, man. And they put it out, and apparently people liked it,

but every print was destroyed. There's no one. No. We can't. Trust me. Everybody else just did it. Yeah. And then there was 1958, which is why you got points,

because you said 1956 was the most famous movie until Titanic, and arguably the better one, if you guys are Titanic fans. 1958 is called A Night to Remember, and it's fantastic. Is it scary? No. Yeah. I like the scary bits where people think they're going to die. Is there a band?

There's a band. They show the band. And they have a lot of dialogue. I could watch just... Do a new movie, but all from the band's angle. From the beginning of the band's day through right up until they die. It's a great movie. It's a good movie.

It's a really good movie. Good movie. People shouting requests. Hey, he's there with his violin. Maybe I should have been a lawyer. Fuck it. Oh, well, I'm here now. Banding.

Banding. All right, last question. What maritime laws were changed as a direct result of the sinking of the Titanic? Don't go there. Ocean stop times. Yeah, those are good. You have to have enough lifeboats for everybody. Yeah, but that doesn't make sense. But that doesn't make sense.

And it doesn't make sense. We all know that lifeboats are the fucking Illuminati fucking bullshit. It's just a man trying to keep you down. And they're the fucking masks of the ocean. You've either got COVID... You've got COVID right now, don't you? Who the fuck still wears a mask? Look at these look all like clean people.

Have you had it yet? Oh, yeah, I've had it twice. Seem to be crushing it. Jim, let people wear their masks in peace. Oh, I'm a big fan of them. I think he's smiling. Yeah, he's having a good time. His eyes look smiley.

He has fucking COVID. I'm sorry, he's wearing it because he has fucking COVID. When he says he has it twice, he just got it again. This is his second time and he's like, ah, fuck. And then he's in the front row now going, fuck, if Jim Jefferies get COVID, he's like, oh, it'll be a good story, I guess. Because it's not like that original COVID.

Remember that original COVID that was killing all the Italians? That was some... Ooh, that one was bad, right? The ones where the doctors didn't know what to do with you. You'd come in and they'd go, we're just going to try to hang you upside down for a week. Remember that era of COVID? That one you could die from.

And then the Delta you could die from. But I think it's safe to say, if you died from Omicron, you're a pussy. I just want to know that. It's fucking weak. Weak game there. You heard it here, folks. Okay. It is the Rogan podcast now.

And we are just at the halfway mark, so I hope you guys have enough. His face just got so scared. It was a Rogan joke. We have three minutes left. So we have a thing. Before we get to the dinner party fact, there was a

contest, right, Kelly? Yeah, we did an Instagram giveaway, so we had anybody who came from our Instagram. So we've got a couple of winners. We've got an album that will, Jim's album, that will be signed by Jim. That'll go to Natalie Farah. I'll decide whether I do that or not. We've got a Titanic

book of fun facts that will go to Jeremiah James. And I figured since we've got this lettuce here, Jim can sign the head of lettuce. We'll give that to Scott Schaefer. Thank you guys for coming. Alright, good job, Scott Schaefer. Thank you guys for coming.

Good job, Scott. Okay, so our dinner... It's perishable. Get that in the fridge. Saran wrap it immediately. This is the part time of our show called Dinner Party Facts. We ask our expert to give us some fact, obscure, interesting that they can use to impress people at a dinner party. What do you got, Dawn?

Well, in 1898, 14 years before the Titanic sank, a novel was published called The Titan. And it was the story of a ship, the biggest ship ever made by humans at the time, that was just about 900 feet long, that didn't have enough lifeboats, strikes an iceberg in the North Atlantic, sends a distress call to a ship that takes over three hours to get there, and upon which about 700 people were the only survivors. Wait, what's the name of that book? The book is called The Titan. That's fucking crazy. Written by Matt...

Yeah, it was written, let's see, it was written by a guy, here's what we know, the cover is fucking cool too. The cover looks like that bounce house. Like the cover, the cover looks like... Really?

Yeah, the thing, the author's name is Morgan Robertson. And people were like, do you think it was a premonition that he was psychic? And I was like, no, Really? Yeah, the thing. The author's name is Morgan Robertson. And people were like, do you think it was a premonition that he was psychic? And I was like, no. I think he read the fucking paper and was like, oh my God!

And they did go back in a republication after Titanic and they changed a couple of things to match the Titanic even closer, but not that much. The things that they changed were stuff like the collapsible. There were still the same number, but it is creepy, man.

And it'll wow people. Everybody, give it up for our guest Don Brody today. Good work, Don. Thanks. Can I pimp Hilf? Yeah, I'm doing it again. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you've got to listen to her podcast. It's called Hilf History. I'd like the fuck. Subscribe to that. She's awesome. And then find her on Instagram at Don underscore Brody and at Hilf Podcast. So, yeah, that's the least you guys can do coming out tonight. Well, not the least, but yeah.

And that's it for everybody. Thanks again for Don, Kelly, Jack Hackett, and Jim Jeff it for everybody thanks again for Don, Kelly Jack Hackett and Jim Jeffries thank you guys for coming out alright ladies and gentlemen if you're ever at a party and someone says you know the Titanic they needed more lifeboats

you go well I don't know about that and you walk away goodnight Australia thank you guys