I Don't Know About That - Trees

Episode Date: August 17, 2021

In this episode, the team discusses trees with professor in the Department of Forest and Conservation Sciences at the University of British Columbia and author of "Finding the Mother Tree: Discovering the Wisdom of the Forest", Dr. Suzanne Simard. Follow Dr. Suzanne Simard on Instagram @DrSuzzaneSimard. Go to JimJefferies.com to buy tickets to Jim's upcoming tour, The Moist Tour.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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spiders ants elephants which one is the largest well you might find out and I don't know about that with Jim Jefferies you might find out on I Don't Know About That with Jim Jeffries. Hello, welcome to the podcast. That was, you know, it's elephants, the answer. Oh, wait, it's one of the spiders, I think. We've already done an elephant episode, so you should already know that. Go back and listen to the elephant episode. It was a good one.

There's two types. There's African and there's Asian, and you don't have to ask me about that again. Me and Jack were talking the other day. We were doing something and there was a subject that you were like, oh, that was the next one that you have to ask me again about. What was that one about? Oh, crap. Mosquitoes?

No, that was last week. I know about mosquitoes. I haven't forgotten about that so quickly. What's the one mosquito? Oh, it doesn't matter. They have a big rod and they suck blood and the men can ejaculate. Asian tiger mosquito.

They can ejaculate eight times with their heads cut off. Asian tiger mosquito. Which is different because I can ejaculate eight times if I see someone with their head cut off, which is a different type of thing, but horrible. How are we all? Asian tiger mosquito. Asian tiger mosquito, though. Asian tiger mosquitoes.

Yeah. Yeah, you said I'll never forget that. Yeah, I know that now. You won't forget it because you just said it. Yeah, that's why I've got you people around. I don't need a memory. I have the internet and you. What have you got for us, Jack?

Comment world. Oh, jolly. Come on down to comment world and get high on our five-star ride. I don't know if that's a man or a woman singing that song. Wait, what was happening? Jenna Emery sang it then. Yeah, but what was... Oh, was it Jenna?

It was horns. Okay, so it's a woman. I didn't know if it was a guy going... It's a saxophone. Falsetto. It sounded like somebody was being held against their will when they made that song they might have been

who knows I hope he gets set free what comments you got Jack versus a five star review it says so funny I almost stoved in

my face in with a dumbbell what's stoved in listen to the prohibition episode at the gym when Jim started impersonating

all the drunk banker tailors and bus drivers on 8 liters of alcohol a day I lost control laughing so I guess he was working out and hit himself in the face with a weight oh right this podcast is dangerous yeah I only listen to music when I'm at the gym

when like a few times I've been when I'm doing cardio I never with weights go I have to listen to a podcast while I'm lifting a dumbbell above my head I like to focus on that completely while I'm lifting a dumbbell above my head. I like to focus on that completely. What kind of music do you like when you're working out? I listen to the same shit all the time.

Fucking 90s rock and roll from Britain. I was going to say, Father and Son by Cat Stevens. Yeah, yeah. I tell you what, I saw Cat Stevens in concert, and when that song came on, fucking grown men crying about that song. That song means a lot to a lot of people, and it's got something to do, I think it has to do with that song, it was like a poem or something that he had already read or something. I don't know if he wrote the lyrics, but I think he wrote the music,

and it was about some kid leaving for the Civil War. And it's funny when you've got songs like that that still apply to people today for whatever reason. But, you know, it's not time to make a change. And you're young, you'll find a girl, settle down. If you want, you can marry. Look at me, I'm old, but I'm happy. I don't know, are you happy?

You seem to be fucking harping on and telling everyone off for their life choices. So that's what you work out to? Yeah, Cat Stevens. I do that, I do that. I do a bit of Morning is Broken. All the Cat Stevens back catalogue. Daniel and Matthew and Son, the work's never done.

That one really gets me pumped. That one's like, that's like, all right, now that's a cardio song you really want to get. Like cool down to Wonderwall. And then the wind is, no, Wonderwall's not Cat Stevens, although he would have done a good version. You were definitely working out to Oasis. I don't listen to Wonderwall. Wonderwall's like, Stevens, although he would have done a good version. He would have definitely been working out to Oasis. I don't listen to Wonderwall.

Wonderwall's like, if you're an Oasis fan, Wonderwall's like your least favorite song. Too overplayed. Too overplayed, nonsensical, and then it's like they've got so many better tracks. It's a good song, but it's like the only song that Americans know is the Wonderwall. Carry on, Jake. Next, another five-star review. Woo! It says, I heart Jim Jeff

hello I love the show I also have a request please have him do one segment where he speaks in an American accent because it cracks me up when he does

come on do it you root rat I don't know when people think the American accent's funny but I think it's because they know my own voice

so much that it's yeah but it's like exaggeratedly deep too no it much that it's... Yeah. But it's like exaggeratedly deep too. No, it's not. It's an excellent voice. We are now doing comment world. It's a guy that you want to fucking punch in the face for sure.

Kelly, you don't even know me. You don't know what I'm up to and the things I get done in this world or some shit. You sound like a villain in an 80s movie. Yeah. A villain in an 80s ski film. I'm the guy with Better Off Dead. You're not going to the prom with him.

Do you say prom? I say prom and my wife says prom. Prom or prom? Prom. You say prom? I say prom. Prom. P-R-A-H-M. What did she say? Prom? Prom. Prom. Prom. Prom. Prom. You say prom? I say prom. Prom. Prom. Like P-R-A-H-M.

What did she say? Prom? Prom. Prom. Prom. Prom. Prom. Prom.

Prom. Prom. Prom. It's not prom. It's wrong. I used to have with DJ and Dan Bacadal when we were doing a legit, every time I said the word floor, they couldn't figure out what I was saying. Floor. Floor.

Floor or flaw? Flaw. That's what flaw. But I was saying floor, as in you have floors, not you own a house with floors. Floors. Yeah. Yes. I knew what you were saying, but.

Yeah, there's a lot of floors going on. I have a lot of floors. Big house, isn't it? Yeah. What am I talking about? No one knows. I'm perfect. I have a lot of floors. Big house, isn't it? Yeah. What am I talking about? I don't know. I'm perfect. I can't crack the code.

Floor. Floor. I'm a very floored person. That means I'm down to earth. Like floors are. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What if it's like the 10th floor?

Oh, yeah. No, I'm not. That's that bloke. Your ground floor. That bloke's up himself. The bloke on the 10th floor. He's got lots of floors. What if he's got no floors? I feel like my brain's going to explode. Your ground floor. That bloke's up himself. The bloke on the 10th floor, he's got lots of floors. What if he's got no floors?

I feel like my brain's going to explode. He's floating around. It's like when you write one word or read a word over and over again and it doesn't look real anymore. I can't see my text anymore. And so I was a bad speller back in the day. Like you can't see them, like you can't read them because you're vision? I can't read them because me vision's not good.

Just a text that disappeared from your phone. I don't know where it is. I'm a bit illiterate. But I can't read my texts anymore. You have an ear of glasses. I can read them if I put my glasses on, but that's a lot of work to do that all the time. You'll get there.

Like now I just have four pairs of glasses I have in the car because I was refusing to think that too, and then I just eventually was like, well, I can't see. I think I have to wear glasses all the time now because my texts now are just gibberish and I thought predictive texting would save me and then I put my glasses on and I read back my texts and it's just fucking, they're not even trying,

the predictive texts. And you're like, guys, I swear I don't drink anymore and everybody's like, we've seen your texts. And I don't spell check it because I can't see it so I'm just like, blah, blah, blah see it so I'm just like and I type it out like a blind person I've had to do some mad deciphering

yeah he's turned into a Tommy Caprio and then I told Jack about this and Jack said I can make your font bigger and I'm like

I'm not there yet I can't I can't be like a person who has one of those big like fonts next time I have to get one of those phones that old people have with the big buttons.

Just one for 911. Yeah, I need a jitterbug. Yeah, the jitterbug. Terrible name. What did people do before glasses? They just died, huh? Yeah. Pretty much.

Yeah, they were just blind. They were blind people. No, no, but if you, okay. And they just didn't respond to their texts. If you're saying like a caveman. Nearsighted. I mean, farsighted, sure, you can survive. But if you're near-sighted, you couldn't see far,

like you'll just die. Things will fucking run over you and shit. Eat you. Lions. Yeah, Kate, my ex, she's basically blind. And then she had the laser surgery and now she might need it again because they deteriorate again. I thought that was like an instant fix.

So she's near-sighted because you can't get laser for farsighted. For just this, you can't get laser. I don't even know which one I am. You're farsighted. That means you can see far, but you can't see near. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's no good. That's good. All right. So can I get the laser? No. You can only get it if you're nearsighted. You just gotta get bifocals.

I like to know it. Balls, isn't it? Your bifocals suck as well. My glasses are bifocals. as well my glasses are bifocal so half the world's fuzzy half the world's clean and I don't clean either of the fucking lenses so the whole world's just covered

in spot and fingerprints it's like shit wearing glasses Vaseline and then you have to swim and you can't see shit again and then there's like cheaper versions that you can get

and just buy four pairs or three pairs keep one in your car. Keep one in your, like, I live in California. I'm wearing sunglasses most of the time. I'm with you.

I'm just telling you, this has been the last four years of my life, this journey. It sucks. Like people that have been wearing glasses, I'm sorry. And I went the longest. Cause like my,

my mother needs glasses. My father's got my, both my brothers have glasses. And I was like the one with the great vision where I was like, you people are idiots. Yep. I can, I used to brag while I was driving along going,

get me to read something. Point at a sign you can't see and I will see it for you. Yeah. Someone said, I'm Dr. South from our mosquito episode. Forrest, you and him should start a burly biologist podcast.

And then someone else commented, burly bearded biologists. Just the burly biologist is all right. But also the word burly. How about buff biologists? Buff? Yeah, yeah. Buff's good. All right.

I'll get on that. Someone said, Jack looking pretty fly for a white guy. Yeah, yeah. You're looking good. When you say this, every day you look better and better. You're looking more and more handsome and now you're getting

your teeth fixed up. Yeah. I also feel like every comment world, you do a comment about how you look good. These might be you. Well, I was tired of the mean ones. We had the baby shower.

Oh, we have another nice one. So weird. Jack's hair became a big conversation point at the baby shower. Where was it? At the baby shower. At the baby shower. Oh, we have another nice one. So weird. Jack's hair became a big conversation point at the baby shower. Where was that? At the baby shower? At the baby shower. A lot of people were talking about Jack's hair.

There's something about cabbage or something hanging at the bottom of his hair. Are you talking about lettuce? Lettuce. Lettuce head or something. I don't fucking know. Like in a positive way, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he has a good head of hair.

The old hair when you have a helmet on, the hair comes out the back. It's called lettuce or whatever. Bit of lettuce. Drew was saying he's got lettuce, yeah. Like he has a good head of hair. The old hair when you like have a helmet on, the hair comes out the back. It's called lettuce or whatever. Bit of lettuce. Drew was saying he's got lettuce, man. He's got lettuce hanging out the back of his hair. Drew's our friend. He's from Norway. Nailed it.

This is back from the BMX episode. Oh. DJ Lavin. Someone commented, how many BMX episode someone commented how many BMX bandits references is Jim going to squeeze into this and then they re-commented finished watching the answer is six

I don't think I put in that many references I think I mentioned it once and there was probably some other references underneath the umbrella but it's not like I constantly went back to the BMX bandits it sounds like you did I think you did you used it for your answers to show how much you knew about BMX and then you went back to the BMX band. It sounds like you did. No, you... I think you did. You used it for your answers to show how much you knew

about BMX and then you went back to it again. They used to have the spokes but they had the plastic spokes on the BMX band. Also, MTV is bringing back Cribs and TJ is on an episode in this season.

Oh, yeah? I thought you were going to say he was the host. No, he's showing his crib. I'd never show me crib. That would be no good. People come over and I go like, that's where the baby's got his crib. I'd never show me crib. That would be no good. People come over and I go, that's where the baby's got to sit. We've got a mat for it.

The fridge is disorganized. Yeah, there's the fridge. What's in your fridge? That's some beef wellingtons that I froze. Vegan cheese. It's vegan cheese and I'm not allowed soda, so I'll take you to the special place where I hide it. And then I just pour it over ice. I'm just glad you said the word crib.

I've never heard you say the word crib. No, I don't, I don't chill in me crib. Pretty dope. Yeah. That's the thing is I can do a lot of, uh, I can just say a lot of cool things with his voice, but there's certain words, like I've said, I can't say motherfucker properly. say a lot of cool things with his voice, but there's certain words. Like I've said, I can't say motherfucker properly. I say cunt like a champion. Yeah. I can say brother very good and I say man very good.

Hey, man. I say man very good. I remember because we had on the Jim Jefferies show, our head writer, he always was envious of the way that I could say the word man, so he would try to write it into scripts. And I said, you don't write it into scripts. Yeah. Wait, you say man? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because he was always like, I was like, yeah, man, come on, come over here, man. I lived in Manchester for a while, and I would say man. No, but I didn't know he tried to write it. This is a real thing. And so sometimes I'd be reading a script, and it would just be like, you know what I'm talking about, man? And I'm like, nah, it's got to come natural, man.

You can't just put it in there. Jason. Because Jason's saying, it's like, hey know what I'm talking about, man? And I'm like, nah, it's got to come natural, man. You can't just put it in there. Jason. Because Jason's saying it's like, hey, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Different cadence. Yeah. Yeah. That Obama, he's the man.

That would be a Jason line. Love Jason. I think he listens. Yeah? Oh, hey, Jason. He did at the beginning. I don't know. I may not be listening anymore.

Jason, if you're listening, send us a DM. I live around the corner from him. Yeah, that's it. Send me hey, Jason. He did it at the beginning. I don't know. How you doing, man? I may not be listening anymore. Jason, if you're listening, send us a DM. I live around the corner from him. Yeah, that's it. Send me a text message if you listen to this podcast. Otherwise, the next time I see you, I'll go, have you been listening to the podcast? And you'll go, yep. And I'll go, nice.

Wow. He might have some catching up to do. He might not be caught up, yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. I'll give it six weeks. Okay. All right.

All right. I'm not going to do it to you tomorrow, but Jason, oh, man, I've got fucking your life's on the line here, brother. I just said brother. See, I'm good at it. You motherfucker. Can't do it. Terrible.

Can't do it. Can't do it. What was the word that we said to begin with that I couldn't do that you were talking about? Archaeopteryx? No, I can't say archaeopteryx. Motherfucker? No, you just said in a sentence.

What? No, it was like no you it was in the comment nah it doesn't matter man great segment Jack I don't know what he's talking about he's just looking

at the next comment where he said you love your hair we jumped off we jumped off anyway it doesn't matter I just wanted you to speak American

yeah alright someone was following up on your Tasmanian devil info yeah it turns out they mate yep yep we know about that so I shouldn't read the comment All right. Someone was following up on your Tasmanian devil info. Yeah, it turns out they eat meat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We know about that. So I shouldn't read the comment? You can read the comment, but I found that out the hard way. I went to do a travel documentary that never stood the light of day in Australia because COVID happened. And we went and visited some Tasmanian devils. And I fed 10 of them a fucking kangaroo's leg. And what you do is-

Didn't you say this? Didn't you say that? Yeah, you did say this, but they follow up. Follow up to that follow up. Although the Taz devil favors wombats because of the ease of predation and high fat content, it will eat all small native mammals such as

wallabies, batong, potoroos. These are insane names. Domestic mammals including sheep and rabbits, birds, fish, fruit, vegetable matter, insects, tadpole frogs. They eat everything, it sounds like. They eat the bones. They eat everything. If you want to get rid of

a body, all you've got to do is find 10 Tasmanian devils. Now, they are an endangered species, so it'll be pretty difficult to do. But if you come across them, no one will ever suspect that's the way you got rid of it. Last thing for Comment World, if you guys are up for it. Someone sent in...

If you guys are up for it. What's our other option? You say, fuck off, Jack. We're doing ads. All right. Someone sent in mosquito-themed erotica for me to read. Oh, okay. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. So this is from Shaked Rami. Would love to hear Jack read an erotic novel about mosquitoes having a swarm sex experience. Oh boy. Here we go. This guy's name's Shake? Shaked Rami.

Did he write this? I think he did. Okay. This is original. I'm going to close my eyes so I can visualize. She was just four days old, but the scent of the dead raccoon being spread by hundreds of crazed males flying overhead

was too big of a temptation to pass. Wait a minute, the mosquito's four or the dead body is four? She was just four days. It must be a female mosquito. Sounds like the beginning of a really bad Beatles song. She was just four days old.

Mosquitoes mate because there's like the female flies into the swarm of guys, right? Something like that, the swarm thing Is that right? If you remember Keep reading, I think we'll get it Just read it All sex in the animal kingdom isn't pleasant

That's all That's what I learned from this podcast I think that's what the swarm is I'm not horny yet, Jack Keep going Zena felt her little wings moving It was as if they had a will of their own She hadn't seen anything but the swamp yet

And wanted to travel the world But the idea of those buzz boys swarming around her, wanting her, must have tapped into her primal needs. You know, the problem with this is he hasn't written the word penis or cock enough. It's true. Which is the best part of you reading this. Because you get and you slow down. It may come up. It's coming.

It's coming. I can tell. She took off. There are so many such intoxicating scents and those needles zine is those needles that's the dick i don't know that's what jack calls these dicks this is a little bit just a pitch uh zine is my there's a lot of z's zine is mine began to lose focus we get it i'm just making sure mind began to lose focus of where she was flying suddenly she smashes into a tiger-y looking male it threw him off his course and he crashed into a spectating hornet uh-oh the hornet was exactly

mid-stroke and was so angry at the male mosquito, he ripped his head clean off. I'm getting turned on. The decapitated body landed on the floor, and Xena rushed to it. She felt so sorry and knew she had one chance to make it up to the poor male by continuing his genetic legacy. As she got closer, his decapitated body

began twitching violently, moving closer to her. Xena blushed and spared no moment. She lay on her back and got ravaged by the decapitated corpse. How long is this? It's almost over. Okay. It's only about the end. Honestly, at this point, I'm out of ideas, but everyone is welcome to jump in.

Yeah, that guy, it's a life not lived. Edit that out. Thank you, Shaik. Shaikt for that out. Thank you, shake. Shaked. With a D. Shaked. Like you shake the baby. No, don't shake the baby.

I guess you never use shaked. You say shook. Yeah, shaken. Shaken, not stirred. Shaken. Shaked, not stirred. That's why I always thought about James Bond. Worst fucking spy in the world

I think I mentioned this Always mention his name Yeah And we did the James Bond episode We talked about this We talked about everything in the world Yeah yeah Fucking hell

Like you watch this In another hundred episodes We're going to be like this So dust is mostly skin is it? What about when it gets in the wind? Actually that'd be a good episode. Find me a Dust-Essberg. All right, let's see some ads.

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All right, please welcome our guest this week, Dr. Suzanne Simard. Hello, doctor. Now it's time to play. Yes, no. Yes, no. Yes, no. Yes, no. Judging a book by its cover.

Now that's a song. All right, Doctor, I'm going to try to guess what you do. You're a doctor already. I always know that because of the name. Yes, we've met a lot of doctors on this show. Yeah, we have a lot of doctors on here. We have a lot of doctors. Now, I've learned from this show that not all doctors are medical.

Correct. Some doctors are like Ross Geller from Friends where he wasn't medical. Are you a medical doctor? I'm not. I'm not. I'm not what some would call a real doctor. I'm one of those other doctors. Yeah, they got to get new names for that.

What would you call? Super doctors. Either side can have it. Super doctors? Yeah, super doctors. There's MD and PhD. Yeah, I don't know what that means. What does MD mean?

Medical doctor. And what does PhD mean? Doctor of philosophy. Are you a doctor of philosophy? I am. All right. I don't really philosophize, so I do others. I mean, I guess I do sometimes.

Yeah, everyone philosophizes a bit. We're all doctors of philosophy. Now, I'm looking at your room, Charlie. Okay, so you've got like two little lamps. You've got a fan, you've got a picture of a snowman. That's not going to help you. That doesn't help anything. You're in Canada, don't you have enough snow outside? You have to bring it into your house with a little snowman? Outside is good. Are you a doctor of wilderness?

Yeah, I am in a sense, a certain kind of wilderness. Do you specialize in an animal? No. Well, what's the difference between? That's okay. So you specialize in a plant? I do, a certain kind of plant. A certain kind of plant.

And the same thing Forrest always says, plants are animals and all that stuff because they all feed each other. Well, I don't say they're animals. They're living. They're living. You just said a really big clue. What? Well, you said the word

that we're going to be talking about. Well, you said his name. Oh, Forrest. Are you an expert? Are you an expert in Forrest? I am. Oh, wow. Trees, yeah.

There we go. Expert in Forrest. That's good. I'm an expert in this Forrest. It's not knowledge that gets me anywhere. He likes brisket. Dr. Suzanne Simard is a professor in the Department of Forest and Conservation Sciences

and teaches at the University of British Columbia. She receives her PhD in Forest Sciences at Oregon State University. Her work has influenced filmmakers such as James Cameron and Avatar, the Tree of Souls, and her TED Talks have been viewed by more than 10 million people worldwide. Her new book, Finding the Mother Tree, Discovering the Wisdom of the Forest, is a New York Times bestseller and is now available everywhere. You know, Amazon, Barnes & Noble. I'm looking at right here, Hudson Booksellers, everywhere that you can find books.

And you can find her on Instagram at DrSuzanneSamard, D-R-S-U-Z-A-N-N-E-S-I-M-A-R-D. So are we doing the whole forest? Are we doing a particular tree? We're going to talk about trees and, and, and maybe, and this will give away some of the answers, but I don't really care. Maybe you want to just say a little bit more about your book, finding the mother tree that's out now, if you want, if you want to expound upon that. Sure. Yeah. It's's a memoir so it's about

you know how my my life informed the work that i do which is studying forests um how they're intertwined together um and ultimately it's led to me helping save forests because as you know we're we're rapidly losing our forests in the world. So I think, yeah, I think the work itself has shown the importance of trees in all the big cycles that support life. Here's one for you. Isn't there too many trees? Yeah. I just want to preface this by saying Jim's going to's going to challenge you on things but he has no knowledge of it

I'm not anti-trees, I like a good tree it just seems like a lot everywhere I look there's a bloody one but we're losing trees really quickly so no, there aren't too many trees we've been losing them since I was a kid, we've still got them alright, here's what we're going to do

I'm going to ask you some questions Jim Jim, and you can revisit some of your... I know I'm wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I'm wrong. We did prepare her yesterday. I know we need all the trees. I'm just saying it's a design fault because we need space to live as well. There's a lot of bloody trees.

Or there's too many people. Yeah, there's too many people. Oh, there's an argument there's too many people. Yeah, totally. Well, here's what we're going Yeah, there's too many people. Oh, there's an argument. There's too many people. Yeah. Totally. Well, here's what we're going to do, Dr. Samard. I'm going to ask Jim some questions about trees. And then when we're done, you're going to grade them 0 through 10, 10 being the best.

10 is the best he did. 0 is the worst. Kelly's going to grade them in confidence. I'm going to grade them at setter. I'm going to put all three of those scores together. And just because I knew you were going to say stuff like this, Jim, zero through 10, trees are important. 11 through 20, we need trees to survive.

21 through 30, deforestation is real. I believe it's all real. Just think, come on now. Okay. Well, first question, what is a tree? They're made of wood. They grow from the ground. They give us oxygen.

They normally have leaves. Not all of them. I don't believe a bottle tree has got any leaves on it. Don't know what a bottle tree is. It's an Australian thing. It grows up like that. It's about two foot tall, and it's just like a trunk. It's a Christmas tree thatim made out of beer bottles when he was a raging alcoholic

have you heard of a bottle tree doctor uh i haven't no but i'm imagining that it looks like a stem like a bottle with you know it's like a good yeah anyway. Anyway, so leaves, branches, trunks, roots, trees. Okay. What is xylem? Ah, xylem. Wonderful. It's the stuff that produces sap, what you would call sap, but I would call it xylem.

And it's the life force of a tree and what about phloem ah phloems what makes the xylem move okay um i'm gonna skip this one what does a tree need to grow um good attitude yeah it needs soil enriched soil let me ask it this way how does it get energy or food it needs water how does it get energy

or food with water okay but okay is there something what does it do with the water the food comes

from the nutrients in the soil the water is the water that needs in the same way we need water and that's where

it's food and water because soil and water. Any other way that it? I've never seen one bloody in and out or anything. Okay, so do you describe what is or what happens in photosynthesis? I've been told this before. Okay. I know about this. I know about this it's

when the molecular structure of the tree makes leaves through the pollinization let's move on why do we need trees

you said oxygen we need them for oxygen we need them for wood so we can have tables and what not we need them like what else

are you going to hang a tire off don't be silly, Forrest. There's three good reasons right there. Oxygen, tire hanging, wood. Okay. Do you know what an angiosperm is? You know I don't, Forrest. That's why you asked the question to make me look like a fool.

What about a gymnosperm? A gymnosperm is when I've had too many wanks that day. You look at the girl and you go, gymnosperm? A gymnosperm is when I've had too many wanks that day. You look at the girl and you go, gymnosperm. Okay. Let's skip ahead here. I always like asking this. We won't ask that one. What are the function of roots?

Well, it's to hold the tree in the ground, right? Otherwise, it would just fall over if it didn't have any roots. Also, it reaches out to get different bits of food from the soil, just like, oh, there's a bit over here and it grows out there and stuff. It's basically a stability thing. What about leaves? What do they do? They feed koalas and probably there's some other animals

that are leave eaters. I can't, oh, you know, you've got your pandas that eat the bamboo and all that type of stuff. They give nutrients oh, you know, there's this, you know, you got your pandas that eat the bamboo and all type of stuff. They give nutrients and stuff like that, but they also, they would do the thing that they would probably

be the bit where the oxygen comes from, I imagine. Is the destruction of the rainforest a myth? It's not a myth, but when I was a kid, I used to hear

that the Amazon was losing a football field a day. By my maths, it should be gone years ago. That was, that was 40 years ago I was hearing we were losing a football. Okay, so you think there was only 12,000 football fields of?

No, it's a day. Yeah, it's 365 a year. Yeah. So it's 3,650 every 10 years. Yeah, and in 40 years, it's about 12,000, 15,000 football fields. That's all you think the rainforest is? Oh, there's a bloody lot of rainforest. It's not football.

Okay. Are trees alive? You said they were alive, right? Can trees communicate? Yeah, they can. They can. They can give nutrients to other trees under the ground. Like if one tree is dying, the other one can do it.

Did you hear me talking about this? Yeah, because you said it to me. Okay. That's how I learn things. That's good. I get information. I remember it sometimes. What is tree grafting?

That's how I learn things. I get information. I remember it sometimes. What is tree grafting? That's where you cut back a tree so that it'll grow, flourish a bit more. That's where you get a tree. Are you a tree doctor? Are you like a tree surgeon? No.

I always thought that was a big term for a guy. You always meet somebody who's like, I'm a tree surgeon, and it's like you get an old tree and you tie it together a bit like it's hardly hardly scalpel work but you know it's fine work i'm just saying surgeon seems like a bit i'd call myself a tree fixer-upperer let's ask a few more questions here and then we'll be done on how this is this is an easy one how do you figure out how old a tree is uh the rings when you cut in half and and each ring is a decade. Okay. And they're all equal distance apart, or they're? No, no, no, no, no, no.

On the outside, they sort of get bigger, and then the inside, they're smaller, because the inside, it takes a lot less for it to grow outwards for 10 years. And at the end, it takes a long time for those 10 years to go. So the outward circles are wider. The inward circles are smaller. Is there anywhere in the world without trees? I don't know. Oh, there'd be deserts. There'd be deserts.

But even then, like you've got Joshua Tree and all that type of stuff. There's trees there. But I don't think there's any trees in the Sahara, in any film I've ever seen. Or maybe there is a palm tree or something like that, but like not a lot, nothing to write home about. Okay, two more questions. How do trees reproduce? They, oh, golly, how do they?

You call up a bloke. You call up Louise's dad, right, and he brings you another tree. That's how you get them. Do you want to let everybody know that Louise's dad is a landscaper before you just do it? No, I'm just being a stereotype. No, no, I wasn't doing that. Louise's dad's a landscaper.

I wasn't saying anything untowards there. Okay. And this is a question. We prepped a doctor on this, but we'll talk about it. What is more nature, tree or sand? You've said sand forever. Yeah, I'm a sand guy. Why again?

Because you can make glass out of it. But you can make tables out of trees. Yeah, but you can also, with sand's heat, it's the, look, what do you put your best bit next? Okay, everyone in the world lives next to the water because that's the best look, look, what do you put your best bit next? Okay, everyone in the world lives next to the water because that's the best bit, right? That's where all the rich people live, next to the water, right? So only the rich people.

Yeah, yeah. Where's the sand? Prime real estate. So it's more nature? It's more nature because rich people live on it. Okay, we'll get back to it. We'll get back to it. The sand, the sand joins us to the ocean.

It is the handshake that we have with a seat okay well uh it's like am i on land am i on water no you're on fucking sand okay you don't know it's the good go between it's the great equalizer sand all right uh dr suzanne samar thank you for sitting through that. On a scale 0 to 10, timing the best, how did Jim do on his knowledge of trees? Pretty darn good. Well,

I mean, is that for the first question or for all of them? No, all of them. All of them. Okay, that's a different... The tree ring one I've got right. You can actually tell my age by my asshole like that. 50-50.

We'll give you a five for your knowledge. How do you do on confidence? I'm going to give him a four on confidence. Yeah. I'm going to give him zero. So trees are important, Jim. Here's the thing. You don't need to know everything about everything.

I look at trees and go, that's nice. What are we going to learn right now? I know, because we have people like Suzanne who knows all about it. I don't need to know everything about everything, right? I look at trees and go, that's nice. Well, you're going to learn right now. I know, because we have people like Suzanne who knows all about it. I don't need to know anything. For you listeners at home, go out in your backyard, put your earphones in, look at your trees while you do this. Lovely. Say sorry, probably.

Sorry to the trees? Are we at that stage now where trees want reparations? Probably. CBD isn't about what you feel. It's about what you don't feel. Stress, anxiety, pain. Forrest, do you feel these things, and has CBD helped you? What's happening?

Are you singing? No, I just have a sing-song voice. I do have a lot of pain. This might come as a shock to you. I don't take care of my body. Yes, and that's just what we can physically see. The emotional pain is through the fucking roof. For the sake of this advert,

tell us about your body pain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It also helps your emotional pain, CBD. Anxiety, stress, all of that stuff. It does make up anxiety. But yeah, I've tried some of this and it worked really good, actually. I was really achy

my body hurt a lot I just played golf and I also probably had anxiety I always have that and I was like a little tube took it

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you get the chicken, the hot dogs, and the burgers, and you support the podcast. That's butcherbox.com slash IDK for free chicken, burgers, and hot dogs in your first box. I asked Jim what a tree is. He said they're made of wood. They grow from the ground. They give us oxygen. They normally have leaves, branches, trunks, roots, trees.

That one he did well on, huh? Yeah, he did. I gave him a nine on that. You created individual questions. Wow, you really went all out yeah i mean she's efficient yeah i the only thing that he missed i thought was you know that they're perennials that means that they you know they they're there every year and they have the their leaves are kind of way up there you know that's the other thing that kind of distinguishes

a tree from just a plant. Oh, so plants aren't trees. Yeah. Well, I was going to ask, I was going to ask you a question, but yeah, but you can talk about that. So like a ficus, is a ficus a plant? Cause that has leaves to the bottom to the top. Yeah. I mean, a ficus is a strangler. It's a fig, right? And figs aren't, they don't, they're not really real trees. They don't have, you know, like the secondary growth where they grow out bigger and bigger and bigger every year. I don't know.

I feel like you're politically saying something really wrong there. I feel like they're not real trees. They don't have the trunk like a real tree does. Like a banyan tree isn't really a real tree. It's a fig. It's a strangler fig, which is kind of interesting. We always think of it as a tree. So what's the difference between a tree and a plant, just so Jim knows or anybody else knows?

The main thing is that the tree has a woody stem. And that it's got this big crown way up above. But shrubs also have woody stems. So what distinguishes a plant or a tree from a shrub is that it's got this big crown that's up way above us, whereas a shrub is down by our knees. Would you agree that a weed is just a plant that's overachieving and we should pay them more respect? I think a weed is just what we say is a weed. Exactly, exactly. It's in the eye of the beholder.

A rose is like a difficult girl that you have to buy gifts and take her out all the time. Please like me, please like me. A weed's just one that shows up. She's ready for anything. She's ready for anything. And we condemn her like, she's no good. Nah, she's a good girl, the weed.

All right. What is xylem? Jim said it's wonderful stuff. Produces sap, life force of the tree. Phloem helps the xylem grow said it's wonderful stuff produces sap life force of the tree phloem helps the xylem grow how do you do I gave him like out of those two questions I gave him like two that means

I got something you said it was wonderful and she agreed xylem. Xylem is in the inside of the tree. So it's the woody part and the cells are dead, actually. They're the dead part of the tree inside. Oh, the trees are just like me.

They're dead inside. And that's where the water goes up, the middle of the tree. So that is sap. So you're right about that. It's kind of like it's water and nutrients going up the tree and then the phloem is this ring of uh of tubes on the outside where food or photosynthetic goes down to the roots and that's also known as sap so yeah the ones on the inside ones on the outside the phlo is living, the xylem is dead. One brings up water, the other one sends down photosyntheter food. Is maple syrup phloenum? Phloem.

It's from, yeah, I think it's mostly from the xylem, but it also contains phloem or sugars from the phloem. So it's a bit of both. So if I was like trying to act pretentious in front of my wife and then we had maple syrup and I just go, there's good xylem in this, there's not enough phloem so it's a bit of both so if i was like trying to act pretentious in front of my wife and then we had maple syrup and i just go there's good xylem in this there's not enough phloem would i be right in saying can you taste the hints of xylem and phloem yeah that would be right kelly like so it would be you know the sap that's in those different tubes the xylem tubes and the phloem tubes so you could say it's got a hint of xylem or it's it's got too much phloem i'll tell

you what i i've been to canada and drank maple syrup from a tree from could say it's got a hint of xylem or it's got too much foam. I'll tell you what, I've been to Canada and drunk maple syrup from a tree from a tap. It's the fucking shit, man. Oh, really? Straight from the tree is good? Yeah, they just come straight out. It just pours out like a little thing. Oh, wow. It comes pouring out, yeah.

It's true. Yeah, I went to a restaurant in New Hampshire one time and they had a tree in the middle of the restaurant that they would get it from. Oh, that's cool. It seems cruel. No, it seemed like it was like everyone's eating around it, like, give us your syrup. You should go to Canadian IHOP.

Different experience. What does a tree need to grow? I was trying to get at how they make their food and stuff. He said a good attitude, soil, water. The food comes from the nutrients in the soil and I've never seen a tree in an In-N-Out. And in photosynthesis, this is all kind of tight and he says it's when there's a molecular structure.

I'm not going to read that. It's got to do with potassium. So maybe we can talk about how they make food. I write the notes exactly as he says them. So yeah, I gave him a zero on that. Oh, wow. Maybe the words I gave him a zero on that. Maybe the words I used were too big for you. Photosynthesis is taking light energy or photo energy,

photons from light, and converting it to chemical energy. And that chemical energy is basically the tree sucks in co2 and takes up water from the soil and combines it into sugars or sucrose and that sucrose is the food of the tree and in this whole process it also gives us gives off oxygen and that's what we breathe that's why we're here is because trees and plants photosynthesize and give off oxygen. So that is photosynthesis. That's where food for the tree comes from. And we don't usually think of like water and nutrients as food. We usually think of the photosynthate as food. And that's why I gave you a zero, Jim.

The sun is the food? No, the leaf. Yeah, sorry. I don't know why. No, it's the food. So the light hits the leaf, right? The light energy. I'm with you.

And that energy is used at the same time that the tree takes up CO2 from the air and pulls up water from the soil. And it uses that energy or ATP to combine them into sugars, combine those two molecules to make a sugar. And the sugar itself is the food. That's what drives everything in a tree. That's how they make tissues, how they make leaves, how they make roots is using those sugars. Now, when we have autumn, or as Americans call it, floor, fall, when you have fall,

Americans always lose their shit at the different, I assume Canadians do it as well, when the leaves change colour. They're all like, oh, the foliage, oh, the different colours, the autumn colours, all I see is death. I just see like that was an alive thing. Now, I know the tree's still alive, but the leaves are dying. That's like just, I'm just seeing death all around me. I don don't see any joy in that am i right in saying they're dead leaves and we're just watching when they change color when they're green they're alive and then they change to orange

and then yellow and then they're kind of yeah it's kind of right i mean what happens in the fall is the trees are tuned attuned to day length And so as the days get shorter and shorter, the tree knows through evolution, many millennia of evolution, that it's time to shut down for the winter. And so they do go through a process called abscission. And so that means that they build a tissue, like a wall between the tree and the leaf.

And so everything gets shut off to the leaf because it's just too energetically expensive to keep those leaves on in the winter because the tree is trying to just save all of its energy just to hibernate and go dormant and get through the winter. So then those leaves then theoretically are dead. Where it kind of strays off is that trees, we now know are like a consortium of species, right? There's all kinds of bacteria and fungi and critters that live on those leaves and start to decompose them. So you're right that the leaf is dead with respect to the living tree organism, but it becomes a life boat or this substrate for life for all the creatures that move in and start to

decompose that leaf now here's here's one for you that i i assume i know the answer to this but i don't know the answer to this without you confirming okay so we've lost many many many species of animals since the dinosaurs to now to all the things that we didn't take care of. Have we lost a lot of trees? The trees from my childhood that no longer exist or anything like that? Yeah, we have lost species of trees, not nearly as many animals and fungi and other, you know, birds. We've lost way more of those than we have of trees. But there are tree species that have disappeared. But, you know, they're pretty resilient creatures. They have lots of ways to reproduce. And so they're, you know, we haven't lost them nearly

as much as we've lost all these other kinds of creatures in the world. Do introducing new trees into an ecosystem hurt the other trees? Like, so I live here in California and everywhere in California now, it just looks like Australia because it's gum trees everywhere, eucalyptus trees everywhere. And so they were introduced obviously from Australia. And so does that hurt other trees or can trees always live in harmony next to each other? I'm asking a great question. Yeah, that is a great question i think you're the doctor not that's a good question um i would say yes and no um you know you know people have been moving trees around since people have been here so you know like moving douglas for to new zealand um or

moving the eucalyptus to california know, there's all kinds of examples of that. And certainly, they can sort of exclude, you know, the native species. So, for example, in New Zealand, like the many species of tropical trees, really, they've been cut down and accepted in parks and replaced with Douglas fir. Those forests aren't nearly the same as they were in, you know, the original forest. They're not as diverse. They're not as productive. They're not as resilient. You know, they're not, they're susceptible to infections and infestations. And so there, you know, there's some danger in doing that. But at the same time, you know, if we think about climate change, climate change is happening so fast that we're

going to actually have to start moving trees around so that they're adapted to this warming climate so you know or even or at least you know certain um uh genotypes or you know the genetic makeup of trees we're gonna have to start shifting things around so that they're adapted to these changing conditions so i think in some ways in that respect you know humans are absolutely essential in keeping the cycles of the earth going by, by moving plants around. Here we go. This is from another podcast. I'm going to quiz you on something, right? Um, when, when and why did California get palm trees? Yeah. And there's a palm tree. That's another. I'm going to throw that back at you.

The answer is no, but when did I get them? Oh, yeah, that's a good question. I mean, I'm a Canadian, so I didn't go to California until I was like an adult. So I don't know, but I suspect within the last century. What Jim is talking about, just so you know, is all the streets here are lined with Washingtonian palms. And they're the very specific type and they grow really tall. And you can tell her, Jim. They were introduced for the Olympics. Oh, really?

Yeah, and we went to get some more for the Olympics coming. The first Olympics whenever that was, they brought them in to make it look more tropical and lined all these streets and then in 1984 they planted more palms. So you have all these Washingtonians. They're like super tall and then they're supposedly going to plant more for this next Olympics

or whatever. It's like their thing that they do to make it look like LA even though it's not LA. Also, In-N-Out probably brought them here. Yeah,

they did. In-N-Out have two palm trees crossed over in front of each restaurant. That's a little, if you ever go to an In-N-Out, you always can see that. Okay.

That's the reason I go there for the nature. Well, it's for Jesus. Here's one for you. So, is farming trees, okay so so when i was a kid there was there was i don't know if this is true but there was a thought that we were cutting down forests and we were never regrowing them back and then we started like for

every tree we cut down we were going to plant another tree for you know so it would be renewable forests etc etc and then like let's say something like Christmas trees. Is there any guilt there in buying a real tree because they farm them or is farming trees still bad for the environment? You know, I think for Christmas trees that I wouldn't feel guilty about that. I mean, you know, as long as they're not poisoning the environment while they're growing them, which, I mean, you know, as long as they're not poisoning the environment while they're growing them, which, you know, some do. But you could buy an organic tree that doesn't have pesticides and fertilizers. Don't say that.

My wife listens to this podcast. You've just cost me another 200 bucks. But the farming of trees, so like cutting down old forests or native forests or what we call primary forests, you know, replacing a forest that would have 10, or even if you're in the tropics, you know, hundreds of species in a hectare. So yeah, it's pretty bad for the environment for us to be replacing our old forest with plantations, but it's way better than leaving, you know, than cutting down the forest and leaving it, you know, without any trees, it's way better to plant them and have a plantation than, than a parking lot, for example.

And the real problem is, is because the animals can't move back in there, right? Because they don't have everything they need. Well, there's, there's, that's definitely important, but also, you know, forests are where, you know, 80% of our carbon is stored in the terrestrial ecosystems, like on land. So if we had no forest, we no forests, we wouldn't be here. We'd have no oxygen for one or very little, and we would be swamped out with greenhouse gases.

They're also where most of our water comes from. It's cleaned by the forest. So if you like clean water, which I think all of us do, we need forests for that. I like it, but carbonated and sugar added to it. Or made into beer, maybe. So one of the questions was, is there anywhere on earth without trees? And I said, yes, the Sahara, it has trees, but nothing to write about. That sounds about right.

Yeah, there are places. Yeah, you're right. Like the desert, by definition, doesn't have trees. And there's certain countries in the world that have no trees. Like Qatar has no trees, apparently. I've never been there. That's good. A lot of space to build World Cup stadiums.

Sky is a great person. Yeah, no. I saw that Antarctica, when I looked at that. Antarctica. Or Greenland. Yeah, Greenland doesn't have trees. The outback of Australia still has trees, but very just shrubby type things. But it's red dirt.

I don't see how anything bloody grows out there. Anyway. Why do we need trees? Jim said oxygen, wood for tables and whatnot, and hanging tires. Hanging tires is a big one. Anything else? No. Yeah.

Well, those are a couple of things. Those are both. I mean, the tire else? No. Yeah. Well, those are a couple of things. Those are both. I mean, the tire thing. I don't know. Whatever. Where else are you hanging it? There's nowhere else. If you don't have a tree, you're not going to put it in a doorframe.

You can make a metal apparatus, but then what are you doing? You're just being silly. You're taking all the joy out of childhood there. I've seen some people build fences out of tires like whole walls of tires they don't look very nice but definitely okay so what what else do we need for us okay so yeah they're they're homes to the animals and the lichens and fungi and um and bacteria and birds you know that's where most of our biodiversity is on land is is in forest you know 80 of those creatures live in forests.

The other thing, the huge thing, like I just mentioned, is that they're essential in the carbon cycle. Most of our carbon, 80% of the world's carbon, other than in oceans, is stored in forests. You know, either in the above ground part that we can see or half of it's in the soil. So if we lost that, let's say like suddenly we said, oh, we don't want any forests anymore, we're going to cut them all down. Well, that carbon ends up in the atmosphere. Most of it does. And so that would actually kill us almost right away

if we lost all of our forests. I don't know if you'll know this, but when did we figure out that trees gave us oxygen? What scientist was it? What century was that in? When did we figure out that trees gave us oxygen? What scientist was it? What century was that in? When did that happen? When was photosynthesis discovered? You know, I don't actually know.

Probably like in the 1800s or 1700s. So before that they just thought they were pretty. Yeah. My father's a carpenter or as you would call him, a tree murderer. Or a tree crafter. Yeah, tree crafter, yeah. Tree crafter sounds better. Yeah, it sounds way better.

It's better to make things out of wood than it is out of plastic and all that sort of stuff. Wood's a good thing to use in our society. Is there an argument that we use too much of it, or is there enough to go around? Yeah, no, we do use too much of it or is there enough to go around? Yeah, no, we do use too much of it. And we're cutting forests down way too fast. And part of, you know, we're consuming too much.

We don't need to use that much. For one, like how many pieces of toilet paper do you use a day, Jim? No, nothing. I use the Tushy 3.0. Oh, yeah, it's one of our sponsors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all have bid nothing. I use the Tushy 3.0. Oh yeah, it's one of our sponsors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all have bidets. I'm using

up a lot of water though. No, but I will say since I've had the Tushy, I use exponentially less toilet paper. I use so much water on my arsehole that sea levels are actually dropping. That's how good environmentally they are. That's bad.

You don't want the seas that's bad you don't want the seas to drop the fresh water from the okay so i mean one that is actually not i i'm actually not joking because you know a lot of we cut down a lot of trees to make toilet paper in this world and basically toilet paper evaporates into the atmosphere immediately. You know, like it's a direct contribution to our greenhouse gases. And so it's good to have bidets. So I remember hearing an environmental nightmare was chopsticks, disposable chopsticks. And in Asia and in here as well, we're using tree after tree

after tree for these things and they don't really fix that. Is that worse than plastic? Well, you know, you have to understand the whole balance of things, right? So, you know, we can use fossil fuels to make plastics to use for longer-term things, like plastic chopsticks lasts a lot longer than a single use chopstick made of wood and you got to cut down trees to make those single use chopsticks so in in in that sense you're having plastic chopsticks is better for us if you do the whole carbon accounting right where does everything go it doesn't make sense for us to be cutting down

boreal forests for example to making chopsticks or that matter, wood pellets to burn in wood fire stoves. We'd be better off using fossil fuels. So we have to look at the whole chain of events from, you know, from cutting down the tree to where the products end up, or from the fossil fuel side, pulling that fossil fuel out of the ground, and where that end up so if it's in long-term storage like plastic picnic tables or or chopsticks that's way better than burning it in a combustion engine and it ends up right back into the atmosphere so we have to look at the whole chain the whole budget of all these things before we and we have to think really carefully because we are at this critical point where we got to add things up properly. We've got to look at the budgets.

I'll tell you the way to fix the world, right? We all move to spork, right? We have sporks, spoon forks, right? Metal spork. Just, we all have a metal spork. We carry a metal spork around with us. It's a spoon and a fork. It's a hybrid. And a weapon. Yeah. And a weapon. You have your spork or you have no food, right? And so you have your spork, no more things.

And then also like with the plastic takeaway containers, my mum said that in the 1950s in Australia when you went to a Chinese restaurant for some takeaway and all that stuff, there were no plastic containers. You would take your pots and pans in with you and you would go, I'll have a chicken whatever, and they'd pour it in. You'd put the lid on. In a pan?

You'd take your own saucepan. You'd take your own saucepan and they would dish you out your portion. You'd put the lid on and then off you go. I tell you, not a bad system. You're there with your spork. You eat it in an alleyway. It would help. Sporks and pans, you eat it in an alleyway. It's a good, it would help. Sporks and pans, people.

Sporks and pans. I agree. I agree. Yeah, we need to reuse our stuff like that. When you were talking about us consuming too much, do you feel like, I mean, you know how we've got like fast fashion and that's terrible for the environment. I assume that the, you know, companies, I don't want to say

whatever, like an Ikea or a Walmart or something like that, where you have lower quality furniture that people are buying that only lasts for a couple of years before it falls apart. I mean, that seems to be the cycle nowadays. Whereas, you know, when we were growing up, my parents had these pieces that moved with us everywhere we went, and they lasted for 25 years. Do you think that has a lot to do with kind of where we're moving rapidly? 25 years? My parents have the same TV. I know, yeah, but that's the thing.

It's like that's how it used to be is people would buy a piece, or it would get passed down, and you'd use it forever. But since the time I've been in college, I don't know how much furniture i've had that just falls apart after a couple of years my father's very proud of his work he has a car for me very proud of my work my father always goes i built things to last if i build you something it'll be there for bloody yeah i think that the biggest problem is like paper, toilet paper, paper products, pulp, cardboard. That's way more of a problem than Ikea furniture.

But I think that you're right, though, that furniture meant to last or houses meant to last is way better than houses or furniture that's meant for like two or three years. We also have firewood. Yeah. That's got to be in the waste column. What are we doing with this tree? Burning it for a small amount of warmth.

Yeah. Although some countries in the world, people are really reliant on firewood, you know, for cooking and heating. That's all they have. And so, yeah, I mean, maybe, you know, in North America, it might make sense to not use as much firewood. But, you know, in large parts of the world, they really need it for their livelihoods.

So it's in the, then it's a matter of how do you regulate that? Right. So that, you know, they don't cut down all their forests. Yeah. When I got a forest house, forest would kill a tree just for a pizza. I do have a wood-burning pizza. I asked Jim what an angiosperm and a gymnosperm is. No need to go over those answers. They weren't right. A gymnosperm.

Yeah. What is an angiosperm and a gymnosperm? Gymnosperm. Yeah. Well, I mean, an angiosperm is a flowering tree. So it's like, think of an apple tree, for example, you know, the seeds are actually inside the ovule, which has got a fruit flushed around the apple itself. Whereas a gymnosperm, the seeds are in cones. That's the basic difference. So, you know, and also, you know, those cones are kind of conifer shaped. And so that's why we often think of gymnosperms as conifers as well.

This is a little bit off topic, right? But Australia had a great system going, right? Because we, you know, with all of our orchards and apple trees and all these different things and grapes and all that sort of stuff, we couldn't get the labor to fruit prick like you can here in America with, you know, illegal immigrants and blah, blah, blah, or whatever, immigrants. Right? So they used to get like if you were a British person that wanted to travel

over and spend a couple of years in Australia and you were a young person, you could get the work permit, you could do it, but you had to spend the first I think two months picking fruit out in the field. So we used to have all the British people burning, picking fruit down now, right? But now they've just signed a deal, Australia and Britain, and they're about to do it with Canada as well and New Zealand, but Australia and Britain have already started.

Since Britain left the EU, they've signed up an alliance now with Australia where you can travel between the two countries, okay, and if you're young and all that type of stuff, where you couldn't do it before you had to get special permits and also trade, all the trade stuff. So that means we've lost all of our fruit pickers in Australia. What are we going to do?

I don't know. I don't know. Fruit's going to go through the fucking roof. It's going to cost more, yeah. We're going to have to pay people actual fucking wages to pick fruit. You're going to buy an avocado for $10? Anyway, dilemma. So maybe you can talk about, because reproduction,

since we're already talking about genus sperm, angiosperm, Jim said, oh, golly, how do they? Yeah. How do trees reproduce? How do they reproduce? They're very smart about it. I assume that's why there's knots in the side of some trees. Oh, God. I don't think that's a good way knots in the side of some trees.

I don't think that's a good way to reproduce. Put your branch in me, not. There is a couple of ways. So from seeds, right? Like that's, that's also what creates the ability to mutate and evolve. So the tree doesn't get pregnant. Mind blown. Another tree doesn't get pregnant? Mind blown.

Another tree doesn't pop out the side and run away. They get fertilized. We don't call it being pregnant, but it's basically, I guess, the same thing. And then the other way is they can reproduce without having sex. And that seems like a real shame, but they can reproduce by, for example, just sprouting from buds. but they can reproduce by, you know, for example, just sprouting from buds.

You know, they can send up suckers and shoots from buds in the base of the trunk or they, or in, in maple trees, for example, they do what's called layering where the branches actually swoop down to the forest floor and they root. And that's, and then the, the individual offspring separate from the parents. So that's not sex. I have to pull you up. When you just said that and they root, now the Australian slang term for fucking is root.

So if you go, I got a good root on the weekend, I rooted this bird, this bird rooted me, whatever, I had a root on the weekend, right? Only Australia uses that term. I thought the whole world used that term until I went to Montreal to go to the Canadian Just for Laughs Comedy Festival. And you have a big clothing brand called Roots. And there's girls with sweatpants that just had root written over the back of their ass. As an Australian, it's very daunting. But I don't know where that came from.ralia like to have a root or whatever that's how that's and it's not like a slang term that's used back in the old days and everyone uses that

term that's like a bog standard term to root well speaking of roots what are the function of roots to hold the tree in the ground reaches out to get different bits of food from the soil and then yeah i think that was a good answer except it's not food they're getting from the soil it's it's the nutrients and the water from the soil the food is produced in the leaves but it's close enough yeah you had the right intent and they definitely hold the tree up also it's to ruin my plumbing in my house that seems that seems to be the function of roots that's probably where my my disagreement with trees comes from yeah Every time it's like there's a cracked pipe. Why are someone rooted it?

Which is where the term comes from. Yeah. And then leaves feed koalas. Oxygen comes from leaves. Pretty good there. But except for the food part. Yeah. Except that you missed the other part, the most important part,

which is the creation of sugars. That's what photos. That's what leaves do, right? They have chlorophyll and the chlorophyll gets all excited when the light hits it and all these reactions go on where water combines with carbon dioxide to create sugars and that's the food of the tree. So if a ficus is in a tree and you're saying created sugars, so this just popped into my head. So sugarcane, is that a tree? Bamboo, are they trees? head so sugarcane is that a tree bamboo are they trees not really those are they're grasses actually they're monocots whereas trees are mostly dicots right they're that um they're not grasses

they have you know they're they're perennial dicots they they have got two instead of having a single uh blade of grass which is what bamboo is. Basically, they have branching and all that and woody structures. And yeah. So no, they're not. Bamboo is not a tree. Bamboo's not a tree? It's a grass, you're saying. It's a grass.

It's a kind of grass. It helps pandas. I'm trying to think of other leaf-eating animals. I'm sure there's plenty of them. I can only think of koalas. Giraffe. And bugs. Oh, giraffes. yeah, they eat leaves.

Yeah, yeah, lots of them eat leaves. And plants have leaves, but they're different than trees because trees have woody stems and these big crowns. Okay, I want to skip ahead to this. Can trees communicate? Jim says they can because he's heard me talking about it. But, I mean, that's a big part of what – the first time I had heard you on a podcast, I told you on

radio lab. And then I also, I have your book right here. I've started, I've been reading it, but I think that this is pretty interesting thing about can trees communicate. Yeah. I listened to this podcast yesterday. It was great. Thank you. Yeah. So, you know, we used to think of trees as just by themselves, right? These isolated individuals that just, you know, are out there for themselves. Now we know, or what I've studied too, and I think that most, you know, people who spend time in forests realize that trees grow together. A forest is a bunch of trees growing together, and they're actually very social. You know, they have like societies, or in ecology, we call them

communities. And those communities of trees, you know, they're growing together, live beside each other for hundreds of years, and they've evolved ways to communicate with each other. And they do this through the soil, through their root systems, and the fungi that associate with their roots, the mycorrhizas, and through the air. They also send signals and information through the air. And, you know, when you're walking in the woods,

you can actually smell those signals, right? You can smell the flowering or you can smell the sap running or, you know, there's all kinds of pheromones and hormones emitted. And, you know, even in the soil, you can smell the bacteria and the mycorrhizal fungi that are kind of linking trees together. So, it's actually, it's not that weird. You know, if, if we just sort of open up our minds, we realize that those smells, that chemistry is the chemistry of communication. You mentioned on the podcast that if a tree gets infected or is dying or something, they can send a signal out. Can you explain that? even if it like loses a limb or or if it gets infested with a fungus or an insect then it will it goes into this sort of stress response you know just like if you get punched in the face you go oh my god you know i'm gonna push the body back so they go into the stress response and it it triggers this cascade of chemical uh pathways that are you know result in the production of different

chemicals that that actually move through these fungal networks that link trees together. And they can warn other trees around them that they're hurt and injured and that there's some danger around. And then those trees will actually take that information and they start producing more defense enzymes themselves. And so when that insect comes after them, they're actually more equipped to fend it off. And this happens through the air.

It happens through the soil. Trees are, yeah, they're pretty smart about that. Okay. I believe you, right? But how do you know this? How do you know that they're all? It's true science. No, but what science is you put a little thermometer in the ground,

you go, the trees are talking, right? How do you know? How do you know? It seems like such a, is this just an opinion or is this a fact? No, this is a fact. There's been lots of scientific papers written about this, including some of my own. And so you do experiments, right?

And so, for example, in my experiments, I grow trees together where they're linked together through their below ground webs, their networks. And then I grow some trees together where I don't let them link together. So their telephone lines are cut off. And then I can injure a tree. And then I can measure all the chemicals in those trees and in their neighbors, whether they're linked or not linked together, and run those chemicals or those samples through different instruments like mass spectrometers or liquid

chromatographers, and even looking at the molecular sequences of tissues in their cells. And then we can figure out from that how much communication is going on. So, through a combination of experimentation and measurements, we can figure this out that's yeah that's how science works i believe you now because you said liquid chroma photographer and i was like if she didn't mention the liquid chroma photographer she doesn't know what she's talking about you seem legit there was another thing on the podcast too sorry uh that they were saying like one of the trees pulled out a nutrient of something and then you were able to measure that the entire community around it like there were tons of trees that you were able to find

i can't remember specifically what that was do you remember what i'm talking about yeah i i'm not sure exactly what you're talking about but one of the things we did is we we were able to map in the soil all these fungal connections these mycorrhizal fungal connections between trees and we could see that the most highly linked ones were the biggest oldest trees and we start calling those mother trees because we then we went ahead and we measured you know chemical signals from those trees to the trees growing around them and so so these, these, these great big trees that are, you know, the big ones in the forest, they're highly connected and they send carbon and nitrogen and water to the seedlings that are coming up underneath them. Their offspring, basically.

I think that's what you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And before we get to that question, I'm asked, what is tree grafting? Jim's by the way, there's more in your book. You did a good job with that. Yeah, yeah. But I'll say that at the end about the book again. What is tree grafting? It says when you cut back a tree to make it grow back better.

Is that pretty good? Kind of. So it's like surgery. You said, then you did the riff on surgery. And it's kind of true, right? It's the tree surgeon. So they'll take a rootstock of one plant. And then they'll take what's called a scion or the

top of another plant. Like, you know, maybe you've got a rootstock of an apple tree that's old and big root system. You can get like the scion of a, say, another apple tree, like, I don't know, a delicious apple, and you can graft it onto the original rootstock. And then you get, you know, you get the kind of fruit that you want from this existing older plant. There's another way they graft those. So below ground, the roots of trees can graft together. The roots, if they're all the same species, they can graft together. So in our forest in Canada, for example, some of our forests, half of the roots are grafted to other roots. So it's more like this below ground when you look that most of these roots are all are grafted to other roots so it's more like this below ground when

you look that most of these trees are actually connected together by grafts as well and a graft is where roots grow together and they start to share the same bark the same phloem even some of the same xylem and so they become like a single a single tree Rainforest. Jim thinks that since he was a kid, he's heard that there is a football field a day was destroyed. So the rainforest should be all gone by now. And he's questioning it. It seems like every day, man. Every day. I'm losing a lot of days.

Yeah. Yeah. And we are running out of rainforest, unfortunately. I mean, we're actually cutting down many football fields per day with a rainforest. It doesn't sound believable at all. I know it doesn't, but it's true. And they say that if we keep up this rate, we won't have any more tropical rainforests in the next decade. So it's actually, we're losing quite a bit pretty fast.

Yeah. And it's bad because one of the things I always think about is all the medicines. I forget what the percentage of medicines that have been discovered like in the rainforest or through trees and it's like and we haven't even really tapped that potential yet right it's like huge number of medicines come from rainforests um or or any kind of forest um one of the ones that i'm familiar with mostly is is taxol which is used to treat cancers and that comes from the yew tree in fact when i i had breast cancer and i got treated is taxol which is used to treat cancers and that comes from the u-tree in fact when i i had breast cancer and i got treated with taxol and it saved my life and there's yeah and there's other other chemicals like quinone comes from the soil the soil and

from certain uh fungi in the soil i think it's fungi or bacteria in the soil that produce quinone, which is what we use to treat our malaria. So there are, you know, a lot of medicines. Aspirin wasn't aspirin from like willows or something like that. Absolutely. Aspirin came from willows or, or spirea as well.

Later we figured out spirea also has. Why is there no aspirin in the, in the jungle? Why? Because the paracetamol. What? Parac Why? Because the paracetamol. What? Paracetamol? Paracetamol?

Oh, paracetamol. The paracetamol. Is that a joke from Australia? We don't call it paracetamol here. Oh, okay. I was like, that's a really bad joke. Because the paracetamol. That's what you call it in Australia, paracetamol, right?

It's the brand. Paracetamol, yeah. I thought that was the chemical paracetamol. It probably, maybe it is. Never heard that before. Might be, yeah. That's very smart, yeah. Before we get to our...

I know you didn't think that. Get an extra point, Jim. Get an extra point, and that means you're up to weenie trees to survive. All right, good. Last question, and we'll have a dinner party. In fact, is what is more nature, tree or sand? Jim says sand. Absolutely wrong.

Clarice is finally vindicated. The handshake of the ocean. What does that mean? The handshake. You have to admit his answer for that was poetic and beautiful. That was pretty good, the hand of the shank. He said, the sand is the handshake we have with the sea the great equalizer yeah the great equalizer yeah with that with that sand what are we doing

isn't sand just like ground up rocks and coral rocks and coral sand is actually just the particle size of minerals it's just it's large minerals, like there's sand, silt, and clay. All that refers to are the sizes of mineral particles. And so it has nothing to do with life itself. However, sand, you know, is, you can have life on it. Bacteria and fungi and viruses can cling to sand and give it kind of a life or start to break it down, break it down into silk particles or clay particles um but you know a tree already has like photosynthesis and all these other organisms they're like microbiomes already um and so they're definitely more nature i'll put it this way no one holidays to see a tree yeah they do yeah maybe if it's near sand.

You mean national forests? Yeah, Sequoia National Forest. People have gone there. Big Sur. Everyone goes to Big Sur. Sure. This is just in California. Redwood.

Joshua Tree. Okay. Well, I'll give you, there is sand there. Yeah. There is sand there, but people go more for the tree than the sand.

All right. This is the part of the show called Dinner go more for the tree than the sand. All right. This is the part of the show called Dinner Party. I don't even like sand. It gets everywhere. I know. It's the worst. I don't know why you're fighting for it. You would never do mushrooms and sit and look at sand.

You would hang with trees, though. Kelly really smashed her fist down there. She was super angry about that. It was my watch. Yeah, yeah. It's coarse. It's rough. It gets everywhere.

But you'd call someone sandy you'd never call someone tree oh forest trees so this is a part of the show dinner party facts where we ask our expert to give us some sort of interesting or obscure something that people can use to impress their friends at a dinner party or a bar

or something what do you got for us about trees yeah about trees oh I was supposed to do this right use to impress their friends at a dinner party or a bar or something. What do you got for us? About trees? Yeah, about trees. Oh, I was supposed to do this, right? If you didn't, it's okay. You've given us a lot of information. How many tree species are there in the world?

Oh, the flutter. Yeah. He's counting them. He's going to He's counting it right now. 1.4 million. That's way too high. Yeah, well's counting them. He's going. He's a rain man. He's counting them right now. 1.4 million. That's way too high. Yeah, well, you shouldn't. You did a party.

In fact, it doesn't sound that impressive now. That's more like how many trees are there in the world. Oh, okay. Okay. So 46,000. Oh, that's pretty close. About 60,000. 60,000 species.

That's a lot though. Yeah. How many trees per person are there in the world? Now I can do the math on this. We get one each. We get about 400 each. There's too many trees!

And all the legwork is gone. We got so close. We got so close. We got so close. We're not the only things that breathe oxygen, first of all. There's other animals that breathe oxygen, so you're not just thinking of that one. I know. Well, they've got a bloody 100.

No, no, no. Even if you give us one each, there's still one for every other animal. We've all got one. Well, there's about 10. That's not even including plants. Well, what about under your footstep, there's like 10,000 species of bacteria. We've got to share it with them too. So suddenly you carve it up and there's not that many trees.

I don't know about this. All that good work's gone now. I was all one over 400 each. I was all one over 400 each. I own about fucking 50 meself just in different houses and stuff like that. Yeah, probably more than that, actually. Along the little fence line you got all those. Dr. Suzanne Sumard, the book is called Finding the Mother Tree,

Discovering the Wisdom of the Forest. It's available everywhere. By the way, I read online that they're making a movie about you, Amy Adams. And is that right? And about the book? Yeah. Hopefully it's not all about me because it's pretty boring. But yeah, there's going to be a movie, a feature film with Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal. Oh, pretty incredible.

Congratulations. Not Jake, right? You never know. Who's Jake playing?? You never know. Who's Jake playing? I don't know. Actually, he's like one of the producers. So I'm not sure if he's actually going to be in the movie, but. He's a tree.

The trees in the Lord of the Rings that walking around and talking. The ants. Did you like them? Sure. I mean, I didn't read it. I read it when I was a kid. There's a movie now. You don't have to bother.

It's been a long time since I read the book, but I love the Ents, yeah. I love The Hobbit too. Well, we'll put it up there. Here's the book. It's really good. I've been reading it and Finding the Mother Tree and at Dr. Suzanne Simard on Instagram. Thank you for being on the show.

Yes, thank you so much. Thank you for being on the show. Yes, thank you so much. Thank you for being on the show, Suzanne. I do appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you for the laughs. They are good. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're ever at a party, someone walks up to you and goes, a tree is more nature than sand.

Go, well, I don't know about that. What do you mean? You're going to do it the other way. It is. Then just walk away. He doesn't know. Good night, Australia. The holidays aren't sleigh bells and mistletoe.

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