I Will Teach You To Be Rich - 139. “I’m afraid he’ll leave if I don’t stop stressing about the budget” (Part 1)

Episode Date: January 16, 2024

Sandra is 46. Brad is 48. They have four children and are living a high lifestyle as a result of two generational income explosions tied to Brad’s work in the home lending industry. That variance, t...hough, seeded issues in their money psychology—leading to risky investments and trust issues. This episode is brought to you by: Superhuman | Get a free month of lightning fast email at https://try.sprh.mn/ramitsethi. Masterclass | For unlimited access to every class and 15% off an annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit. AG1 | Take ownership of your health with AG1. Get one year’s supply of Vitamin D3 K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at https://drinkAG1.com/ramit. Facet | Get affordable, accessible financial planning with a flat fee membership. For a limited time, the $250 enrollment fee will be waived when you sign up at https://facet.com/ramit. Rocket Money | Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to https://rocketmoney.com/ramit. Connect with Ramit Get the Podcast Newsletter and exclusive Q&A about the show Get Money Coaching with Ramit  Download the Conscious Spending Plan Get my New York Times best-selling book Get my no-numbers journal Other episodes Instagram Twitter YouTube Submit a question for the newsletter iwt.com/askramit  If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 For me, I felt like he wasn't doing his job. Because his job was to earn money? Yes. Sometimes I just say, well, I don't know what else to do. Like, I'm working as hard as I can. I guess that we're just going to be in the red. I can't do anything about it. I guess we're just going to be broke.
Starting point is 00:00:18 That's where my empathy ends. I get very frustrated with that same conversation or over and over and over again. Whether we've got a lot of money in the bank account or whether we've got very little money in the bank account, I feel like we're playing a very, very opposite game. On paper, we're not broke, but it just feels like we are. I've supported the family for the last 25 years. And then she reminds me about that one year where we had to sign up for discounted school lunches. And yeah, it can be pretty nasty. Because like I can't ever hit the
Starting point is 00:00:53 number. And I feel like we try really, really hard. I just don't think it's even possible. Meet Sandra and Brad. Sandra's 46, Brad is 48. They have four children and they are living a pretty high lifestyle. Private school, ballet, sports camps, they have a bedroom set that costs $25,000. In the past, they have had a very high income. But things have changed. When their income went down, they started to get a lot more stressed out about money. And now they are both resentful for different reasons.
Starting point is 00:01:35 She resents him and his income. He resents her and her anxiety around money. Well, I'll tell you that this conversation had a ton of surprising turns. So I want you to pay close attention today. I'm going to make sure that throughout the episode, I share what I'm thinking and a little bit of the psychology that I am observing. Now in their application, Sandra mentioned that Brad has had to ask for money in the past to buy a slurpee. And I want to start there because that origin of the story
Starting point is 00:02:06 has affected the way that they both think about money for a long time. Listen in. When we were first married, we made like $11,000 the first year that we were married. And we were in school very poor. And I managed the budget from the very beginning. And I, there was no room for anything extra, like literally nothing extra. So in the beginning, it was very
Starting point is 00:02:33 contentious when he would want to go and get something. And I didn't grow up in a house where he'd go to get surgeries. That was like a luxury kind of to get sodas and things like that. But for him, that was like something he just wanted to enjoy. And so it became something where he would, he would say that very thing that I have to get permission to go and get a Slurpee. And eventually we tried to make it into a positive thing and have it be our Slurpee Fund.
Starting point is 00:02:57 So each of us had a Slurpee Fund and you could spend it on whatever you wanted. But in the beginning, it was really negative. And it is something that still brought up, I don't think in a very positive way. So. That's interesting. Do you still have a Slerpe fund?
Starting point is 00:03:12 No. What happened to? Our money has gone so up and down over the years that if we have extra, then the Slerpe fund is like massive. And you can buy anything you want and come home with like ATVs and whatever. And I just go, oh, you've got another ATV. But when money is tight, I'm watching every single thing and texting him and saying, what was this for and what was this $12 for and when I'm balancing the budget. So it dies when there's not excess. When there's excess,
Starting point is 00:03:42 the we have sort of refunds. For me, it, it was comic relief. It was a way for me to joke around about this new environment that I was experiencing as a newlyweds. I didn't grow up in a wealthy home, and I didn't ever feel like I was an extravagant spender. But we first got married. This whole idea of a budget was a new concept to me. And I felt like it was pretty harsh and it was pretty severe. We canceled our telephone for 25 bucks a month. So like we were living life of a nomad. Like there were no cell phones, right?
Starting point is 00:04:20 You had no phone. Yeah, this was back in 1998 and there was no cell phones. So like we were saving 25 bucks a month, but we didn't have a phone. It was a stick that I used to just try to find some white artinists in the whole situation. It was difficult dealing with this budget into that extreme. I think we had like a hundred dollars per month, set aside for food, when we were first starting to figure it out. How long have you been married for? 25. Okay, congratulations.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Thank you. 25 this year? 25 will be 26 and 2024. Oh my gosh. 25 this year. Congratulations. That's a big deal. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:04:58 Okay. All right, so I have a question about money and being married for 25 years. So I completely understand that when a lot of couples get married, coming together is hard enough. And oftentimes if you're getting married pretty young, it's doubly hard because you're not making a lot of money. Okay, so I get that. Has it changed over time? that has it changed over time? Which aspect as far as did money ever become easy? Yes, but it doesn't stay easy. It became easy when we were making a lot of money. Okay. And when you say easy, describe that for me. What does easy mean to you? We didn't worry about budgeting things. I always knew there was plenty and then some to work with. I didn't have to ask permission. He didn't ask permission. We just thought what we wanted to. Okay. That's easy. Okay. Yeah. It's so easy. Okay. And just so I understand when you say there was plenty, you mean there was plenty of money in your checking account, right?
Starting point is 00:06:02 You mean there was plenty of money in your checking account, right? And we were putting money into like 401k and we had self-directed IRAs and things like that because there was so much money. Okay. We needed something to do with it. But mostly we just there was plenty in checking. I never had to worry that a bill was going to come out and it was going to overdraft. I could plan an extra day on our trip and stop at Disney World on the way home and take the four kids and not worry about it. And then what about when it was not easy? That's like been I feel like more of the time
Starting point is 00:06:33 that it's not been easy in that way. When it's not easy, it's watching everything and being meticulous with where the money's going and keeping track of it and being stressed about it. Just like you used to do when you made $11,000. Yeah. Actually, that probably felt less stressful because I knew we were so dirt broke that nothing was an option. And I didn't have any kids that needed anything.
Starting point is 00:06:59 And I was very good at self-sacrificing. And so it wasn't a big deal to me. I've thought about this a lot. I so it wasn't a big deal to me. I've thought about this lot. I think it was like a badgemoner. Like how much I can do is so little. Right. And who taught you that, your mom? Definitely. Yeah. Okay. Brad has money gotten easier since the Slerpy stuff, harder or both. The slurpy stuff harder or both? It's been a roller coaster good years and bad years. So for better words
Starting point is 00:07:37 I'm an entrepreneur and like that's so we had an opportunity to make some entrepreneurial moves and that commission type moves 100% opportunity-based and For the most part it's been steady in some years, they've been like at a controlling, like we're bringing in $70,000 to $100,000 per month. And those are like some of the best times of our marriage. When we aren't having that level of friction or stress that's pressing down on the marriage. But there have been some lean months too. What made it the best years of your marriage?
Starting point is 00:08:10 The financial considerations weren't like the top considerations. What was? Where we were gonna travel, where we were going to go to, what opportunities we could provide to our kids. Okay. Not having to worry about that red
Starting point is 00:08:25 full end of month coming to God moment when we have to reconcile the budget. How many times do you remember over the course of a 25-year marriage you've had that coming to God conversation? 25 times 12. Minus a couple of years. It's pretty much monthly. Minus a couple of years. Susandra, when you're doing these end of the month, calculations, walk me through what you're going to make fun of me, but I have a lot of spreadsheets and lots of categories too many. I'm sure. Can we just hear what some of those categories are? Read them up. I know they're on your computer right now.
Starting point is 00:09:14 They are. Okay. One click away. They're never closed. They're never closed. You're so right. The table. I was just working on it. So I will, I will blame some of it on that. Shocking. All right. We're just read some of those categories. Love for the whole world of yours. Okay. We have like auto repairs, auto registration, ballet, k-op, basketball, k-op, books. Birthdays, Ryan, can, kune trip. I don't know how to take them off once I put a trip on there. I don't lump them all together. Every trip is separate. You break out by trip.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Not just travel, but by trip. Okay. Yeah, because I feel like you have to budget for each trip. Like dog food, um, sin and my food wet dog food dry. I only have one line for that, um, like clothing. I put Costco annual fee because it surprised me and I was like, I'm gonna put that in there. How much is the Costco annual fee? It was $193. Okay, let's talk about this for a second. So $193 and you have a line item for it. I know it only comes up once a year. I didn't know what to do with it. Okay, so talk me through your thinking because I want to understand this meeting and part of this meeting is like the intense amount of categories. So you have a Costco renewals $193. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:10:24 you didn't know where to do it. So you added a Costco renewals $193. Yeah. You didn't know where to do it, so you added a category, right? Yeah, I just put a category. How many categories approximately, like to the closest 50, how many categories do you have? Oh, that's not that bad. I have, okay, I have 82. Okay. When you look, this is, this is going to be good. When you look at this spreadsheet, when you look at it, what do you feel? First word.
Starting point is 00:10:53 Stick. So walk me through like what happens around the 25th of the month. What do you do? Well, lately I've been doing it every week. But just because things are pretty tight, it feels like to me they're really tight. And normally I'll go through all of our credit cards and our checking and everything and put all the charges in and then I'll memorize those super manually.
Starting point is 00:11:18 So like you log into whatever credit cards you have. And there's a thing that says $13.64 and you copy that and paste it in the spreadsheet. Oh my gosh, I feel like you're laughing. Okay. Yes, that is what I do. And then I have to take all of those numbers and put them into the budget spreadsheet because I don't really know how to make them talk to each other. So there's two different spreadsheets. One that's the charges and one that's the budget. And so I literally am like manually putting them over, which is why I started doing it once a week. Because once a month it was like really big and took forever no overwhelm. Yeah, I mean, if you do something that's stressful and makes you feel sick and and then your husband hates it,
Starting point is 00:11:53 you definitely want to do it four times as much. That's I got you. Okay, so wait, stick with me, stick with me. So you're doing all this and as you are doing it, what do you feel? And guilty. Why? Because like I can never hit the number. Right. The numbers that you set up for yourself. Yeah. And I feel like we try really, really hard. Yeah. But it's not, I just don't think it's even pop it. And if it is good, I don't know, it's nice. I'm only get to even pop it and if it is good I don't know. It's nice. I'm like, oh, we did really good But usually by the first week in the month I already know that all that money is allocated and so The whole rest of the month is super stressful to buy anything even if it's stuff that we need
Starting point is 00:12:37 Because I know that we're already like at our capacity It's like You're failing a test like you're back in school you're failing a test but it's every single week. Yeah, I'm a straight-A student. It's very frustrating. Yeah. Yeah. Well that can't feel good. No, and I'm always the one that's done it like it's always been me doing it. And so it's just been a lot of years of being stressed by it. You do this alone like in your office. Mm-hmm. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:10 So you're taking the numbers from the credit card. You're putting it into this spreadsheet. You're looking at these numbers. Most of the time, not really adding up. So you end up with in the red. Yep. Sometimes I just say, well, I don't know what else to do. Like, I'm working as hard as I can. I guess that we're just going to be in the red because I don't know what else to do with it.
Starting point is 00:13:31 I sometimes ambush him at inappropriate moments and tell him about how bad our money looks for the month, like before we're going to bed. And it's late and we're tired. And what do you say? Oh, we have no more money left this month and it was probably like the eighth of the month. Okay, is that true? You have no more money by the eighth of the month? No, it's just that it's been, it's all allocated. Like something will be charged on the 25th of the month on our account, but I allocate it at the beginning so I know it's going to be coming out. When you bring up something like that at night before you're going to sleep, what happens?
Starting point is 00:14:08 Well, usually Brad doesn't wanna talk about it, shocker. I'm not really good at letting things go. I feel like I need resolution and so I will press it. And then it usually ends up with a little bit of stonewalling and a little bit of a fight. And then it just sits really comfortably, like it just stays with me. And I don't know how to let that go.
Starting point is 00:14:29 So it affects a lot of things. Does it change the financial reality? No. Even these last couple of months, like I'm driving 66 miles down the freeway so that we can hit our gas budget. So when she's measuring and managing the budget, like I'm all in doing everything that I can
Starting point is 00:14:50 so that we can hit those numbers, but the numbers are difficult to me. Which is why some months I just say, well, I can't do anything about it. I guess we're just gonna be broke. So, okay, well you're not broke. And I can see Brad's eyes. Okay, Brad. All right, Brad, come on in.
Starting point is 00:15:06 I know Brad's eyes just went extremely wide like like some type of cartoon character. Brad, would you care to shine in here? Are you broke? Yes or no? No. All right, I agree. You're not broke. Sandra, are you broke? Yes or no? On paper, we're not broke, but it just feels like we are. When I hear Sandra, I go through this process in her room alone, and I see the tears, it makes my heart hurt. And there is turmoil at the end of the month when we have those late-night conversations. But that's where my empathy ends. I get very frustrated with that same conversation
Starting point is 00:15:55 over and over and over again. Whether we've got a lot of money in the bank account or whether we've got very little money in the bank account, I feel like we're playing a very, very opposite game. Just notice this set of highly detailed rituals that Sandra has created for herself with her financial system. All for what?
Starting point is 00:16:16 Why create 82 categories and manually copy and paste in tiny expenses every single month? Well, the answer is control. copy and paste in tiny expenses every single month. Well, the answer is control. Most people genuinely believe that this process of tracking every last cent puts them in control of their money. And in fact, this is what they saw their parents do. Usually their mom.
Starting point is 00:16:39 People even describe this process as managing money, but it's not. The reality is that most of this is pointless. Manually copying in values from a website to a spreadsheet is not high value work, nor does it change your financial reality. Sandra can do this for the rest of her life, and it won't change a thing. And we know that's true because she's been doing it forever and she still feels awful about her money. In my opinion, managing money is focusing on high value areas, like deciding what your rich life is, setting up appropriate categories, and discussing what kind of monitoring you
Starting point is 00:17:23 want for those categories. Managing money is deciding on critical questions like your savings rate and your debt pay off date. Those decisions are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. Driving 66 miles an hour to conserve gas might feel like it's giving you control, but it's ultimately pointless. And I suspected this might be the central issue between Sandra and Brad, but I was wrong. We'll be right back. You ever watch someone play a video game
Starting point is 00:17:53 and they don't know how to do it? It's like the most frustrating thing in the world. It would be like watching someone from the Stone Age trying to drive a Tesla while changing their Spotify station and using voice control, just like, what the hell is happening right now? Well, that's how I feel when I watch someone use Gmail or Outlook. Literally like we are in the Stone Age, because for years I've been using this amazing tool for my email,
Starting point is 00:18:15 superhuman, to go through my inbox incredibly fast. It saves me over two hours a day. For example, I split my email into streams so I can see my important emails in one place, subscriptions are somewhere else, promos, except for I will teach you to be rich emails. Those always get right in the inbox. And it is fast. I have a keyboard shortcut for everything. If I'm done with email, I hit E, it archives it. If I need to respond to something later, I hit H and type 10. That means tomorrow at 10am, it'll repop up. It allows me to go through emails incredibly fast and they recently introduced an AI feature so you can have long emails summarize right at the top in seconds.
Starting point is 00:18:54 So if you want to buy back your time, superhuman is a no brainer. It is something that I spend my own money on. I have for years and I love it. Right now, all listeners get one free month of superhuman and you can get started at superhuman.com slash remeat. That's superhuman.com slash remeat. R-A-M-I-T. What's something you want to do differently in 2024? My wife and I were sitting down, we were doing our annual Rich Life review, and we were talking about some of the categories
Starting point is 00:19:29 that we want in our Rich Life. And one of the things that emerged from this organic discussion was beauty. We both want to surround ourselves with beauty, and we came up with a few different ways that we can do that. And I found myself about a week later, just browsing around, and I was looking
Starting point is 00:19:45 at a masterclass video by Kelly Worsler. She's an interior designer. She's famous for doing hotels like the proper hotel, et cetera. And I was really drawn in as she was talking about how to create a mood when you go into certain rooms. I was just drawn into it, and I realized it mapped directly to my desire to live a life of beauty. So in 2024, if your goal is to learn a new skill, if you want to surround yourself with certain ideas, maybe it's discipline, maybe it's aspirational thinking, check out our sponsor Masterclass. You can learn from the best because Masterclass offers 180 world-class instructors. Whether you want to learn negotiation with Chris Voss,
Starting point is 00:20:26 think like a boss with Martha Stewart, or learn comedy from Kevin Hart. Masterclass has you covered. You get unlimited access to intimate one-on-one classes with the world's best. And again, I use Masterclass so that I could learn how to create a mood and why some rooms and some buildings and some lobbies really
Starting point is 00:20:46 get you feeling comfortable. Make you feel calm. That's what I want to learn. There are over 200 classes to pick from and there are more added every single month and right now our listeners will get an additional 15% off an annual membership at masterclass.com slash remete. Get 15% off right now at masterclass.com slash remete masterclass.com slash remete.
Starting point is 00:21:11 Let's get back to the show. I feel like Sandra is playing a fixed income must be greater than fixed expenses on a monthly basis. And that's where the A comes into place or the F depending on how we're doing in a monthly basis. And that's where the A comes into play, so or the F, depending on how we're doing in a particular month. I've always played the net worth game, and even more than that,
Starting point is 00:21:35 I play the I trust myself to generate income gain. During those late-night conversations, and she expresses we're failing this month because the fixed expenses were higher than our fixed income. During those late-night conversations and she expresses, we're failing this month because the fixed-in expenses were higher than our fixed income. And I say something along the lines of, listen, I've supported the family for last 25 years. And then she reminds me about that one year where we had to sign up for discounted school lunches
Starting point is 00:22:03 because adjusted grossing come allowed us to participate in that. It was a lean year. I say something along the lines of, I've done good in the past, and I believe that I'll be able to do good in the future. That has no weight or any credibility because the only thing that's like on the table
Starting point is 00:22:24 is like September 20th of that particular month. So, and it gets nasty. I mean, I think she might have actually underestimated the stonewalling and the fighting. There have been nights where we have prevented in a scenario where we don't talk for the next couple of days.
Starting point is 00:22:43 And yeah, it can be pretty nasty. And then, frankly speaking, when we start looking out in the future, now I love this woman in my guts. She is my partner, she is my person. But there have been times where I've thought to myself, I'm not going to do this for the next 25 years. I'm 48, she's a couple years younger. I mean, we've still got like many, many years behind
Starting point is 00:23:07 if we have got to do this every single month and go to a level of mental poverty even though we've got like $1.3 million worth of assets. I have a hard time existing in that space. Okay. Okay. space. Okay. Okay. Thank you for being honest. Obviously, this has been going on for decades. Yeah. Sounds pretty serious. Would you both agree? Yeah. We had a conversation and it just went south real fast. And we didn't talk for a while afterwards. And that was when I thought I need to, we need to see if maybe we can get some help with this to see it the same. And I didn't talk for a while afterwards, and that was when I thought I need to, when you see if maybe we can get some help with this, to see it the same. And I don't need to have him see it my way, just like when you did, you see it more commonly.
Starting point is 00:23:54 That was what I think led me to turn in the application. It was one of those days. At this point, what percentage of money conversations between the two of you are positive and what percentage are negative? I'd say probably 20% positive and 80% negative. Okay, Brad. No, I agree with that. That makes me super sad. Tell me. Well, because I've always thought that we have more potential than where we're at. Currently, right this minute. And I think there's been times where we've definitely exceeded and done a really good job with things. Not growing up with a lot of
Starting point is 00:24:37 like extra money. I just have always thought eventually we'd like make it. And I don't really know what make it means. But we would like get where it was different than I felt growing up, but it still feels the same. So I would not want to feel this way always. And then I'm ashamed to say it's very real. And in my mind, when I'm in that space and yeah, I was, I was there this last winter, like I've peaked. I've gotten no more ambition.
Starting point is 00:25:04 I've got no more energy. I've got no more energy. I've gone through this entrepreneurial stuff. It's time to just settle down. Right, right. Almost like you've lost the game. Giving up. Yeah, you gave up. You hung up your jersey, you go,
Starting point is 00:25:18 I couldn't cut it on the field. And so now I'm, you know, just, I'm not even playing anymore. Oh, just so my wife can get an A in this game that I think to you feels meaningless. Is that accurate? It not not meaningless. Well, I so for continuing on the sports metaphor, it's like the gave a basketball is more than just getting rebounds You're gonna have to walk me through this because I'm on thin ice right now understanding where where we're going with this basketball
Starting point is 00:25:52 So walk me through the analogy Sandra is playing a very small portion of the overall game. Ah, she's playing the monthly portion or the monthly budget portion of the game Which I would it is part of the analogy would be just rebounds and basketball. Right. And you're never going to win a basketball game if you're only focusing on rebounds and you're not playing offense and you're not playing defense. But would you, would you agree that it's important that you have to get some number of rebounds? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Well, that's, that's why I didn't want to say that I felt like the game that Sanders playing is meaningless because it is like a like a vital piece of the overall game. But it's a small piece in your it's a small piece and for me that the game is as much as fair. Okay, fair enough. Sandra, let's stick on this basketball analogy. Do you agree that rebounding or what you do with tracking the spending is a small part or do you see it as the part when it comes to money? I think for me it's bendy part but a large portion of that is because until a year and a half ago I didn't provide much income to the family and so that was my version of contributing was to
Starting point is 00:27:04 manage the money that came in. Manage means what? No, you're going to laugh at me again. Just watching how much for spending and paying the bills. I realize that it's not managing. I know a computer can do that. But that is what I did because that was what was my responsibility from the time that we were, you know, very first married. And so it was the whole game to me
Starting point is 00:27:27 because that was the only position that the coach gave me. Mm-hmm. By the way, did you ever discuss this? Did you ever discuss your roles formally and explicitly? Don't really think so. We were so young. I was only 20 and Brad was 23. My mom had always managed the money.
Starting point is 00:27:44 His parents had separate accounts and each paid for different things in the family and didn't have combined finances. And I always thought that was like a sign of a poor marriage that you should do it together and whatever. But you don't do it together. No, we don't really. But my mom was kind of like, where's the pants in my house growing up? And so my dad bring his pay home, check home and just give it to her. And then she would stretch it. Okay, play that analogy out for me. She wears the pants means he went to work.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Did your mom work? She did little things to supplement, but she never worked full time outside at a house until we were all grown. Okay, so when you say, your dad handed the check over to her. What's the implication when he hands the check over to her? That she's now in charge of it. Okay. It's her money to manage and it's his job to earn it. Okay, and if I were to ask them are they both alive? Yep, they are okay Both still married or no still married 40 some years. Wow. Cool. Congratulations to that. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:28:46 I know. So if I were to ask them, do they agree with your assessment? Like, he makes the money and her job is to manage it. Would they both agree? 100% yes. All right.
Starting point is 00:28:57 And then what about decisions, like buying a house, buying a car, investing, who made those decisions? I'm not sure if they made them together. It was always my mom that seemed to be the driver of it, but I'm sure they talked about it. They didn't ever talk about it in front of us, like, who was making a decision. They would just come and tell us we're moving or we're selling the house or we're going somewhere different. And we moved a lot.
Starting point is 00:29:23 So it was a conversation we got to have, 14 times growing up. We moved. And you ever remember mom talking about money when you're a kid? Only to say, this is all we have for the rest of the month, or you can't get new shoes for school, but we'll buy shoe laces and we'll wash your shoes. Right. And that kind of stuff. How old were you when you heard that? Young like starting, you know, eight, nine years old. We always bought everything from thrift stores and had one pair of shoes for track and cross country through high school. And I, she told me, you have to make those last. How do you make them last when you're running 15 miles a day in practice? How do you think your mom's comments and behavior towards money shaped your own? It makes me scared that there's not going to be enough and that it's all on me to
Starting point is 00:30:14 to make sure that there will be enough. Like I have to be the safe one. Can I ask the question again? Not sure you heard me. How do you think that your mom's Not sure you heard me. How do you think that your mom's comments about money and her behavior towards money shaped your views of money? Just wanna cut in here to point out what just happened. Did you catch it? I asked, how did your mom's comments and behaviors towards money shape your own?
Starting point is 00:30:39 And Sandra just launched right back into her own story. I'm scared there's not gonna be enough. I have to be the safe one. She didn't even hear what I asked. This is common with people who have created narratives about themselves. People with problems love to talk about their problems and people who live a story love to talk about that story. But the truth is those stories often aren't even true. The stories are often something we just slid into. I much prefer to create my own story. It's empowering. I can be funny. I can be fit. I can be compassionate. I choose my story. But to choose your own, you have to first
Starting point is 00:31:22 understand the story that you've been telling yourself. How do you think that your mom's Comments about money and her behavior towards money shaped your views of money? I think I probably see it the same with her. Tell me about that. If there's not enough, there's never going to be enough. And as soon as you have some, some things going to happen. And then it's all going to be gone again. So you have to like hold on to it.
Starting point is 00:31:57 But even when you try things outside of your control are going to occur. And the money's going to have to be spent on some things. You're never going to get ahead. So that's life. You try as hard as you can and then you die. Pretty much, yeah. Oh. Religious family or no? Yes, very, very religious Christian. What if your family had started making a lot of money. What would have happened?
Starting point is 00:32:27 I honestly have. I don't think my mom would have acted any different. She was very judgmental of people who had a lot of money. Oh, that's so shocking. I had no idea that I was going to get to that with one question. She was judgmental because. She felt like they've flaunted it. It became the thing that was most important to them, that they didn't value service and other people, that it was all about the money. Where do you think she got that message from?
Starting point is 00:32:57 Like, what she got those ideas from religion is that, what you mean, oh, yeah. Yeah, do you have to be giving and generous and that it makes other people feel bad about themselves if you show that you have all this money? Right. And are you too religious? Yes. Okay. Has that shaped your views on money? Let me actually, let me ask the question a different way because I already know the answer to that. It definitely has how has your faith and your religious background shaped your views of money. Brad, you answered that one first
Starting point is 00:33:32 because I'm not sure. I'm curious what you're gonna say. Well, this is a mess. This is something that I really struggle with. Tell me. So in our belief system, we are taught that if you're righteous, then you receive blessings. Righteous means what?
Starting point is 00:33:48 Living the commands, for lack of a better tool. To a high degree. And if you're unrighteous, then those blessings are taken away from you. Oh. And so that puts us in a situation where when things are going good, you're scratching your head thinking, what, I must be really doing good, I must really be living by this belief system. Or when things are going bad, you and or your spouse might feel like part of the problem
Starting point is 00:34:19 is that you're not living right justly enough. And so that's something that I struggle with. And frankly, I've been doing my best to separate. That belief system and just try to just be a little bit more dollars in sense with them. I do know that when we had more fluency, we were more liberal with our donations to our church, like Types, And since things have been
Starting point is 00:34:46 tighter, that's not happening as much. And so yes, in my mind, there's some belief correlation that we should be paying tithes, even when things are hard, because that's where you sacrifice and get blessings. Right. Whether they're financial or not. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, thank you for walking me through that. So you manage the money as you put it, which means you pay the bills. And in that way, Brad's responsibility has been what? To earn the money, just like my parents. So I think a common thread through the beginning of our talk until now is that we really don't have specific conversations about finances
Starting point is 00:35:28 other than to just argue right and wrong and take our positions. So no, we don't have those conversations. How I would describe it as you know, there's jabs that are taken that maybe we'd be in a better position. What I just learned is that Sandra and Brad are repeating several money stories, stories of their parents, of their religion, and that alone is fine. Most of us have stories that we repeat from those who came before us. That's okay.
Starting point is 00:35:59 But I also learned that they don't talk about these stories. They never do. In fact, when they talk about money, it's almost always negative, and it's filled with jabs, to the point that Brad has mentioned he's considered divorce. And the longer you go without acknowledging your stories
Starting point is 00:36:16 and talking about them, the more entrenched they become. Soon you start to believe your stories, and you and your stories become inextricably intertwined. But they're not. You are not your stories. And I hope that as you hear this, it empowers you to question the beliefs that you grew up with, the beliefs that you have now, and also the beliefs about who you want to be in the
Starting point is 00:36:38 next chapter of your life. It might be that I wasn't good with money growing up, but now I'm changing that. It might be nobody taught me how to connect with my emotions growing up, but I'm learning the skills to be able to do that with my spouse. Whenever your story was interrogated and asked yourself, do I want to change that story for the next chapter of my life? Because you have more control over your story and your money than you can possibly imagine. Let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsors.
Starting point is 00:37:15 You know, when it comes to your money, when it comes to your relationships, when it comes to your health, I'm a big fan of the 85% solution. That means get 85% of the way there, and move on with your life. Too many of us dream about getting 100% perfect instead of just getting started right now. Think about it, with your money, what's the 85% solution?
Starting point is 00:37:36 Get a target date fund and invest. With your food, yes, it would be great to have the perfectly created meal, but sometimes we need a little help. Now, if your health is important to you, but you don't always have time to eat perfectly, you should check out this episode sponsor, AG1. AG1 is a comprehensive nutrition supplement that provides nutrients to support body, brain,
Starting point is 00:37:58 and gut health. Just one scoop of AG1 mixed in with water every day can replace a multivitamin, a probiotic, and a bunch of other supplements. Now, I've heard from a bunch of you who use AG1, here's what one listener, Trent, told me. He said, it's part of my rich life, super easy to get a baseline of vitamins, greens, and other stuff, and it has travel pouches
Starting point is 00:38:18 for when I'm on the go. I love the convenience. If you wanna take ownership of your health this year, try AG1 and get a free one year supply of vitamin D3K2 and you'll get five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash remete. That's drinkag1.com slash remete. Check it out. Recently on this podcast, I spoke to a couple named Susan and Jeff who realized they were A-G-1.com slash Rameet, check it out. Recently on this podcast, I spoke to a couple named Susan and Jeff who realized they were
Starting point is 00:38:50 going to end up paying $860,000 in fees alone for their investment portfolio. That's what happens when you pay a financial advisor, about 1% of your investments. Your investments, compound, and each year, you pay another 1% into your advisor's pocket. That 1% doesn't sound like a lot, but it ends up turning into about 28% of your lifetime returns in fees. I hate that. Think about it. I have a personal trainer. I don't pay him a percentage of my investment portfolio. I pay him an hourly fee and I'm happy to do it. That is what I want for you. If you decide to hire a financial advisor, there is a better way, a flat fee.
Starting point is 00:39:35 That's why I have partnered with FASID, a service that offers affordable, accessible, financial planning. With FASID, you get your own CFP to work with you and a team of financial experts across investments, taxes, benefits, and more. And it's all done through a flat fee membership. FASSA is giving IWT listeners an exclusive offer. They're going to waive the $250 enrollment fee for new annual members and they will give you $500 into your brokerage account when you invest $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com slash remeath to learn more again facet.com facet.com facet.com.
Starting point is 00:40:16 F-A-C-E-T dot com slash remeath. Sponsored by facet, facet wealth ink facet is an SEC registered investment advisor headquartered in Baltimore, Maryland. This is not an offer to sell securities or investment, financial, legal, or tax advice. Pass performance is not a guarantee of future performance terms and conditions apply. I now turn to Brad to ask him about his career. You were in the mortgage industry. I think you were doing very well.
Starting point is 00:40:41 Mortgage industry came to a standstill. How much were you making at the peak in that industry? So there were two mortgage eras. The most recent mortgage era was, you know, 2020 through 2022 and we were at like 25 or 30,000. Okay. And that's just you. Yeah, that was just, all right.
Starting point is 00:41:03 Cool. What about before that? So back in the 2013 Yeah, that was just, all right. Cool. What about before that? So back in the 2013 era, it was the peak. There was about two years where we were hitting between 70 and 60,000 per month. For help for two years? Close to it. Well, there was awesome event business that was built into that. So we hit two home runs at the same time
Starting point is 00:41:25 And I would say that yeah for those those that two-year period we made a lot of money That's a lot of money. So what'd you do with all that money? we We had some lead years It got yes it got cannibalized when we didn't have money and And we spent a lot. Hold on, hold on. Let's get into this. 70,000 a month. So you're making like 800,000 a year,
Starting point is 00:41:51 which is a tremendous amount of money. Is that about a ballpark, right? I think it was about that because when you were doing the events some weekends, you'd make $100,000 in a weekend. Yeah. Like gross. So it was probably about 800,000.
Starting point is 00:42:06 All right. So you made a couple million bucks or 1.5 something 1.5 to 2 million dollars over two years. Mm-hmm. And what'd you do with the money? We bought a house. How much? At the time, it was only 550 and we put down a pretty big down payment. So we were only how much how much about 300,000 So you put 300k into a house. What else? We paid a lot of taxes ATVs Taxes, let's say you paid half all right, so that's like 700,000 is gone to taxes. So now you have 700,000 left 300 went to the house You got 400 left. What'd you do? Yeah, and so then we paid limit expenses for those two years we bought ATVs, we bought furniture sets.
Starting point is 00:42:49 And even after the income dried up, we had a good nest egg, but then we had leaners moving into 16, 17, and 18. So we still had some event income coming in, but we bridged the Delta with the savings from the previous years. How long did it take you to cut your spending down after the high income dried up? We never did. Exactly. We never did.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Our kids had no idea that we weren't making the same amount of money. You never told them. No, it was never really a conversation. And we just kept going off of the savings because we aren't huge spenders as far as big lavish things. I mean, I bought a bedroom set. What are you talking about? What have you just been the last three minutes talking about? Those are his ATV toys. I just bought a bedroom set. Okay, it was a lot. It was Restoration Hardware. It was like $25,000. So, all right.
Starting point is 00:43:49 See, just like a cruise liner is very difficult to stop. It can't stop on a dime. People spending, particularly when they're making a lot of money, is incredibly difficult to slow down. It's like an NFL player, they finally get cut, they don't stop spending. This is really common. All right, so that brings us into about 2020, right? When you started making a bunch of money again. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:14 When we first started making some money with the last Reef by Boom, it was just like an opportunity to breathe. It was so nice to have some money that it was coming in again. But there was still kind of this thought looming in the back of our head that this opportunity is going to dry up.
Starting point is 00:44:32 At least it was in my life. So we should be in everyone who works in any mortgage industry. It's boom and bust. Yeah. All right. But what was the first thing you bought when the income started coming back in?
Starting point is 00:44:46 When I don't think we bought anything we moved to help my son, our son. And we moved somewhere. That's transporting to 2021, the summer of 2021. I don't remember going and buying anything. I mean, we saved most of it. Yeah, we did because it had been so lean, it was really kind of stressful. And I was still driving the same Honda Odyssey I'd had forever and drove it until it had 250,000 miles on it. Okay, I have to say I'm impressed. I'm impressed.
Starting point is 00:45:16 A lot of times it's like finding water in the desert for the second time and you just kind of gorge yourself. No, just wait. It's coming. Wait, at least let me appreciate it before me. I didn't even know what's coming. It's a garage. So that was 2020. So a year later, my son was finishing his sophomore year in high school and was really, really struggling. Brad is from Jack. That's where he grew up. And it's one of the most expensive counties in the entire nation to live in and his Family is still there as parents are there and we love it there and we went up to visit and it was the summer of
Starting point is 00:45:54 2021 and my son had a fantastic experience up there and was like a new kid and kind of came back to life We had been so worried about him that I just saw that as a good opportunity to maybe help him. So within a month, we moved the entire family. It was a huge shift. We rented out our house that we'd been living in, that was like our dream house or whatever, and rents up there were close to $10,000 a month for just a house. It was the only house we could even find to rent. And so all that great income that we were being careful to preserve really quickly went away because cost of living there was probably about 30% more than it was where we were living. Honestly, I would do it again because it really did save my son and he's in college now and I don't think
Starting point is 00:46:40 he would have had no ambition or intention to do anything like that. And the environment was perfect for him. So yeah, but that's where all of it went. And it was really hard to have this great income coming in and it was all being spent. And knowing that it would have been totally different had we not moved. So it was rough. I get you. I mean, who can say, who can tell a parent? Oh, you shouldn't spend money knowing that you're as you put it, your son came back to life. Who can ever tell any two parents that? Not me. It's not my money and it's not my right. And honestly, the way you talk about it, I respect that you said, look, I would do it again. It was the right move. I love that part where Sandra and Brad spent several minutes telling me how they made $800,000 a year and bought a new house and ATVs and a $25,000 bedroom set.
Starting point is 00:47:34 And then Sandra casually goes, we aren't spenders as far as big lavish things. Do you understand what I'm talking about when I say that money is at least as much about psychology as it is about numbers? Sandra loves her money stories. This story is we're not lavish spenders. We're just simple people, even though the numbers clearly say the opposite. And the truth is, all of us do this in one way or another. We'll say, ah, I'm not good at money, but we never bought a single book about personal finance, such as the best-selling book I will teach you to be rich. One last thing. My comment about spending a ton of money for their son might surprise you. How can I be okay with people spending or even overspending on their kids. Well, sometimes you have to make decisions
Starting point is 00:48:25 that aren't in the spreadsheet. And if that comes to your kids' mental health, then maybe that's one of those times. I'll tell you what, when I talk to people and they tell me what they care about, deep down it is rarely an ATV or a couch. It's their family, it's their time together, it's creating memories and experiences.
Starting point is 00:48:43 So sometimes you have to take that carefully manicured spreadsheet and throw it away for the love of the people around you. Who was the right move, but it wasn't the right move forever. So we are not living there anymore. He graduated. And then you all decided, okay, it's too expensive here. We're going to go somewhere else. Yeah. What'd you do then? So we moved kind of suddenly as well, but in the meantime, we had sold our home.
Starting point is 00:49:08 So currently, we don't own a house and we're renting a house. How much did you sell it for? 1.2. 1.2. How much did you take after all this stuff? We took about 8. Post 8.50. 8.20.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Good. How much had you bought that house for just so 50. Eight 50. Good. How much had you bought that house for just so I know? Five 65. Yeah, about five 65. And then by the time we landscaped it, it was about 650 for the whole thing. 650 and you sold it for one point two minus all that stuff. Okay, so you walked away with some amount of money. Good.
Starting point is 00:49:40 And that money I understand you've kept it. It's sitting in your accounts. And did you feel different when you made $80,000 in a month? Do you know what? Actually, it was really nice. I don't feel like I stressed. I know it's supposed to not make a difference, really.
Starting point is 00:49:57 But I think it was enough over the threshold that it was like, this is so great. I mean, it was such a contrast to what we'd had. So I was very much more relaxed, but I found other things to be unhappy about, honest. Oh yeah. Just whiny stuff.
Starting point is 00:50:13 I had kids at home. I just complained about the kids and my schedule and I wasn't even working. Looking back, I have no idea why I was complaining. Like I had a bougie life. Hold on, zoom in on that. Looking back, why do you think you found something else to be unhappy about?
Starting point is 00:50:30 Why? Partly? Because I feel like you're always supposed to be growing and getting better. Partly because I wasn't doing a lot of self-grows at that time, everything was focused on my kids and I wasn't really doing a lot for myself at the time and so I think I just got really whiny about that but I
Starting point is 00:50:51 Did it by expressing discontent in a lot of areas in life? Okay, but what happened when Brad Stopped earning 80,000 a month Sandra what happened in terms of the dynamics and the relationship? On a way for me, I felt like he wasn't doing his job anymore. Because his job was to earn money. Yes. His job was to earn money, and I did all the other things. I took care of the kids in the house and all the things. So until we started the event together, and until that point, I hadn't done anything once my youngest, like our kids got a little bit older, I hadn't done anything outside the home to contribute
Starting point is 00:51:31 financially, and then once we did that, it felt like we'd opened up a stop gap where then my contribution for everything I was doing before that time wasn't as valuable, because now I had shown that I could actually take care of the home and the kids and do something that earned money. And so I felt like after we did that, I was in like 2011, that then there was an expectation that I would always do something that would help to earn more money as well. And I didn't like that either. I felt like
Starting point is 00:52:01 I didn't sign up for that. Like I I signed up to be a mom and take care of my kids and until they were grown. So I think there was just a lot of role changing and confusion and not talking a lot about it directly. It feels like a full-blown mid-life crisis from where I stand. Tell me. You know, why? Last winter, I remember having a striking thought that I've peaked. And then you start looking at
Starting point is 00:52:32 examples of individuals in your life that that are, you know, a little long in the tooth and then, you know, imagining that that's, and they're never, they're never positive examples. They're always negative examples. And you know, I'm bringing up any names, but you look at those people and we actually use those individuals as kind of ammunition against each other. Well, we're going to end up just like such and such with Sandra and I will, while those back and forth, I don't want to end up like so and so.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Wow. And so it's pretty heavy and it's pretty deep. And it only adds to the stress and the pressure of the monthly budgeting conversations. I think the darkest thought is, you just waste all that potential and all those dreams that you have when you were a kid, you never fulfilled on turning to nightmares.
Starting point is 00:53:26 There's a lot to notice from that last exchange. Did you catch the clues? Even during $60,000 a month, Sandra was unhappy. Now that she's working, she feels resentful. She expects him to bring in an income. Brad calls their situation a full-blown midlife crisis. And what's perhaps most disturbing is that they're sniping and jabbing at each other using other couples as negative examples. Lots of clues here, mostly negative ones. We'll be back
Starting point is 00:54:01 after this. Okay, I remember moving to my apartment in New York many years ago and it was a nicer apartment than I had previously lived in in San Francisco. And one day I was walking from my apartment down the hallway to the elevator and I saw a dollar bill sitting on the floor. I looked around as nobody in the hallway so I went to pick it up. It wasn't a $1 bill, it was a $20 bill. And I was like, is this New York City? People just drop $20 bills everywhere? That was when I learned this was a different city than I had grown up it.
Starting point is 00:54:33 Now think about what it feels like to put your hand in an old pair of pants or a coat and find a one or a $10 $20 bill. Feels amazing. Hidden money that you just forgot about. Well, almost all of us have hidden money and it can be 20 bucks, 50 bucks, even $100 a month, we just need to know where to find it. And for a lot of us, that hidden money can be found in our subscriptions. Rocket money is a personal finance app
Starting point is 00:55:01 that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills. Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills. I can see all of my subscriptions in one place, and if I see something I don't want, I can cancel it with just a click. I don't even have to get on the phone with customer service. Rocket money will even try to get you a refund for the last couple of months of spending and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20%.
Starting point is 00:55:25 All you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest. Rocket money has over 5 million users and it's helped save its members an average of $720 per year, with over $500 million in cancel subscriptions. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash remete. That's rocketmoney.com slash remete rocketmoney.com slash remete. Now back to the show. And so that brings us to today, correct? You're renting. You've got some cash in the bank because of the house sale. And would you say that that house sale represents the bulk of your net worth? Yes.
Starting point is 00:56:09 Yes. But there's a couple of other details that I would add to this web that we'll be thinking. Tell me. The house sale was a difficult decision to come to. We kind of thought that that was always a plan B. And in these words coming out of my mouth are interesting to hear. But we've invested the majority of the money from the house into an oil operation on a project that I had been watching for the last several years.
Starting point is 00:56:45 What's in oil operation? What is that? Yeah, it's a fracking unit. Out in the middle of a desert that's pulling oil out of the ground. And the entity that is managing the project was looking for investors. Generally speaking, it's a $200 million project. I've got some buddies that are playing a much bigger game than I am, but I had an opportunity to go in with them. How much did you invest?
Starting point is 00:57:11 All of it. A million. Is this a joke? No. No. You invested one million, which is basically almost all of the investment money into one fracking operation.
Starting point is 00:57:28 Several different fracking operations. I'm watching Sandra's face there. Is we're coming to like an unbiased third party to hear our story. Well, what do you think I'm going to say? I haven't listened to all of your podcasts, but let me buckle in. I'm ready for it. Before we go on, let's just, let me just get this one thing out, which I've been wanting to ask about.
Starting point is 00:57:53 So you have a part-time job right now, which is what? A teacher? What do you teach? Personal finance. Okay. We've been playing the traditional game since day one so we graduated from college back in early 2000 And at that point one of the reasons why we were managing our budget as low as we could so that we could max out our 401k All right, so we could max out our IRAs and that was 25 years ago and so back in those days
Starting point is 00:58:23 We were living under the same documentation as Phantoms and textbooks. Eight percent compound interest, Einstein compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world, and this is the way to do it. We don't have much to show for those initial investments, right? So in 2000, Sandra and Brad were making decisions for future Sandra and Brad. Thinking that those investments were going to grow significantly in a straight line over time. And at this point, after all of the eating ramen and not having telephones and all these other things that we were doing so that we could invest while we were young, those accounts suck right now.
Starting point is 00:59:03 They didn't pan out like the textbook site. So tell me, hold on, hold on, hold on, before we go on, tell me what you mean by that. These accounts suck right now, what does that mean? We went back and did some analysis and they averaged about a 3% rate of return year over years for the last 25 years. So we thought that we could make those those investment and they were all diversified and we had which we fired a financial advisor guiding us along the way. How long how long was your advisor with you charging you like 24 years? One percent so so nice of them so nominal.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Anyway, so they charge you and then what they put you in that's what I want to know because 3% per year is horrible. Yeah, right. Horrible. I bet you they what they put you in, that's what I wanna know, because 3% per year is horrible. Yeah, right? Horrible. I bet you they didn't put you in growth stuff. They go, we're gonna make sure your money's safe. We're gonna keep you safe, because our aim is not to beat the market.
Starting point is 00:59:53 It's simply to provide a nice return for safety and security, some bulls**t like that. And it gets complicated. And they use these language along the lines of, when we were first starting, you're young, we're gonna put you in growth caps and and international funds and we've got this allocation and they come in to give us a yearly review. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:12 And I'm relatively educated. I've got an MBA, but it's, you can't dazzle with, really, it's baffling with bull. Yeah, you're right. You can't make sense of it. It's, if it's good, they tell you that. If it's bad, they razzle dazzle you. I get it. And I'm angry on behalf of you.
Starting point is 01:00:32 I'm not sure that I agree with your conclusion. Okay. And I give that. And I don't agree either with his conclusion. What is your perspective? I'd like to max out every Roth 401k IRA. I could open a Roth for my kids I would. So I'd like to have all of that going
Starting point is 01:00:57 so that we are diversified. Okay. And when you don't, like the fact that you're not doing that, how does that make you feel? Like we're gonna end up just like my parents on our first mortgage, because they couldn't afford to buy a house and stressed about money every single month with no investment savings, no retirement. It seems like that gives you a lot of fear.
Starting point is 01:01:18 It does because they tried so hard, if that makes sense. And they tried so hard and they're not a great spot. And I worry that we're going to need to take care of them. And I love them and I will if we need to. But I tease with Brad about, we're going to need to build a compound on one side building the apartment for your parents and one side building the apartment for my parents. His parents are probably going to be fine financially, but mine will definitely need help. So I worry about that. Okay. Listen, this is a, this is a bold move and and I'm super clear that it's a bold move and I'm so grateful that bold bold. Well, is that
Starting point is 01:01:58 is that a word that you chose bold? Yeah. That's another word for bold. Do I need to open up the Tessaurus? Well, I'll go down my thrift store. Okay, go ahead. Brake, riverboat gambler. Okay, very good. But listen, I feel like the system is rigged, right? That's against you. I'm right with all the R.A.s and 401Ks and games for funds and money advisors.
Starting point is 01:02:21 No, no, not that. The oil, the oil game is rigged against you. No, see I don't see it though I see it like when when the deck is stacked against you and every now and again You get like a perfect hand and you go big with it and that's where I'm at All right, and I see you I see you Grimus and and I'm sure that people are listening or are thinking that I'm Absolutely out of my mind. I'll tell you what, when we do get to like a full payoff with those dividends, it will be a huge shy of relief. This is so messed up. They start investing early in their marriage only
Starting point is 01:02:56 to sign with an unscrupulous salesman who calls himself a financial advisor, bleeds them dry of their money via fees and horrible funds, then they finally catch on like 20 years later, only to make the completely wrong conclusion. Brad's conclusion is all traditional investing routes suck, and I need to put our entire family life savings into an oil well. Remete's conclusion is, we probably should have read a single book about personal finance, not paid huge fees. And when we were making $80,000 a month, four years,
Starting point is 01:03:38 we probably should have invested a huge amount of that money into low-cost index funds, which would have set us up for the rest of our lives. Of course, one of the primary reasons for Brad's extremely risky approach with money is that once people feel behind, once people feel like they have to catch up, or even that it's too late, they start to make increasingly frantic, risky decisions, which of course is a cycle. Just like you would imagine a gambler in Vegas that leads to simply more poor outcomes. Again, remember, Brad teaches personal finance.
Starting point is 01:04:16 So this is a single investment that pays out, it pays you some monthly dividend, correct? So there's two projects, yes, it pays out monthly dividends. All right, and how long has been going on for? So we made the first investment of May 22, right after the house sold and we made the second investment of January of 2023. All right, so you invested in two tranches and how much you get paid from a million dollars, how much you getting paid out per month. So the first project has been paying since January. And so we're pretty close to the end of the year. We're at like 40% of the initial investment has been
Starting point is 01:05:01 paid back. So you put in like 500K. Yeah, just do easy math. So we put in 500K so far it's paid back like 200K. 200K. We've got another couple months they're coming through. The second project kicks in. Actually, the first dividend should be coming here in this next week. How much? The first is I took a flight out to the oil field and it was spectacular and got to like touch the dirt and I have some oil from the project. The first one is going to be about a percent and a half but then when we start getting into December January it should start getting about 3.8 to 6 percent per month. For how long? Tell the oil dries up. The percentage changes. Yeah, so there's two variables. The percentage changes after they have 100% payback, then we the investor portfolio goes for the
Starting point is 01:05:57 investor payback goes from 100% of net income down to 70% net income. The traditional trajectory for the oil projects in this particular area, they peak year, three or year four, and then it's a relatively steep decline, but there will be oil that comes out of these projects for like the next 20, 25 years. So like, I know you can't predict it because it's one oil operation. It's not like hundreds that you can average out, but what percentage annual return can
Starting point is 01:06:31 you expect fallpark? So for the first year, it will be pretty close to 50%. There's a lot of variables in play, but I would anticipate after we peak and we start going down into like years 6, 7, 8, or 9, maybe a 15 to 20% per month. The other nice thing about the product month is it per month. Sorry, I misspoke for your okay. 15, 20% for your the other super nice part of this oil operation is that it's domestic based. And so we get a 70 cents per dollar tax deduction. So you know for every dollar that we invest in the project we get a 70% tax opportunity. Right? You have a huge deduction. All right, fine. What can go wrong with this? The price of oil can drop below Greg even, which is sitting about 30% or $30 per barrel.
Starting point is 01:07:29 They can miss the oil. Both projects are currently on the oil. There's regulation issues that could come up with with EPA. There's some presidential risk, you know, but I did say we're right now is about as bad as it's going to be. So there are significant risks and I'm crystal clear on that. Okay. All right. Well, listen, so far your answers are good. I'm not sure if I agree with your conclusion, but I like that you have, you know your numbers, you know the projections, you know the risks. All right. So for the short term, I do believe that there's opportunities to compare them. And I believe that I found one.
Starting point is 01:08:11 Can I ask you a question? I understand why you chose to go into a highly risky investment. You looked at your investing for the last 25 years and you said, this is, this is not good. Like the accounts horrible. We found out we were getting charged 1% after 24 years. And even when we look at the returns, it was horrible. I want no part of this long term investing stuff. And every month, I'm getting these text messages and conversations from my wife that I don't want to have a part of anymore. So I'm going to take this money from selling our house and I'm going to put it in something that's going to pay off big.
Starting point is 01:08:55 I've done the risk evaluation, et cetera, et cetera. And look, it's paying me 20 to $60,000 a month right now. Here, haven't I earned some peace? Look at what I've delivered to our family. Is that accurate? Like, more than 100% perfect. This was a project that I've been watching for two years. I had researched inside and out and I feel like we've got the perfect hand with that.
Starting point is 01:09:29 In the way that it's structured, we get the tax opportunity and we're seeing a 50% return per year on the first project that we're into. The second one is tapping into the same oil reserve. So I know that it's getting tedious and into the details. But it does feel like this is a nice chance to crush it and to get out of that rat race
Starting point is 01:09:52 where we've been stuck in the last 25 years. Okay, based on what Brad just told you, do you think this is a good idea? If you're watching on YouTube, just leave your comment below. And next week, we'll pick up on our conversation with even more numbers, which I promise will surprise you. Thanks for listening to I Will Teach You To Be Rich.
Starting point is 01:10:15 I'm Remi Tsaati. Please follow the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you haven't read, I will teach you to be rich. My book, pick up a copy. You can get it at any bookstore or any library, and it will show you the specific tactics for how to build the I will teach you to be rich system into your personal finances.
Starting point is 01:10:37 you

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.