If I Were You - 178: Divorce (w/UTK!)

Episode Date: October 12, 2015

Friend/rapper/actor Utkarsh Ambudkar joins us to discuss threesomes, basketball, and being called "daddy."This episode is brought to you by ClubW, BlueApron, and Ball Park Flame Grilled Jerky!See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. If you don't know what I'm talking about, take a seat. Listen to the fucking beat. This is if I really show with Jake in a mirror. So see the cheese that you please. Enjoy the show, son. Justin Gonzalez. Oh, Gonzalez.

We met that dude in Toronto. Good dude. UTK. Nice. You're a rapper. Yeah. Thoughts? Pretty good. How is the flow?

Like how do you rate it? There's a flow as their beats is there. The atmosphere. Oh yeah. It's pretty good. It's pretty good for a Japanese guy. So you have some early atmosphere, so he's got a lot of promise. Pretty good.

Pretty good. Low on flow, high on heart. Oh. Justin, you did good. It's pretty good for a Japanese guy. I like it. Do you think he's Japanese or is that just how you compliment him? Gonzalez.

Pretty good. Definitely Japanese. Pretty good for a Japanese guy. Yeah. UTK, thanks for coming on the show. I'm so excited. Ladies and gentlemen of the world, this is a seminal moment in my life. This is so funny.

Jake and Amir are my, can I curse? Yeah. Are my friggin' heroes. Whoa, I don't think you'd go that far. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You guys, I'm like, I'm shaking right now. I'm so hard. This is amazing. You guys are probably all fans of Jake and Amir. I've seen every episode. It's a great show. Your writing is so good. Your chemistry, just your brotherhood.

You sound really excited, but you look so cool. You guys, you're sitting with your legs crossed. You were wiping your glasses earlier. I am. You look like that. It's what I do when I'm nervous. Yeah, you get very calm. I get stoic as fuck.

But you guys, I mean, you're so good. And it's awesome to sit with Amir because you've actually been in a Harold and Kumar movie. So it's like, when they say it to me to make fun of me, but they'll say it to you and it's actually real. I brought race in there. Way too fast. Well, let's talk about it. We have.

Yeah, let's talk about white people. Yes. Wait, we've done videos with you for College Humor before. For those of you don't know, UTK is you're an actor, rapper, writer, musician, performer, a little bit of everything. Yeah. Thanks. So what if people, if people are listening and they don't quite remember who you are,

what do you get known for the most? I get known for you're the guy in Pitch Perfect. Pitch Perfect. Mindy Project. Mindy Project. I'm a Freestyle Love Supreme, which I'm the least well-known and famous member of. Because one of them is just the mega star of the universe right now. And then there's Lynn.

Lynn. Oh yeah. And then there's Lynn. Yeah. And then you've done College Humor videos. You're in the freestyle rap and intern videos. Yeah. There was the rap battle between you and Streeter.

How is Streeter? Streeter actually killed himself 17 years ago yesterday. About fucking time. No, Streeter's doing great. He's writing for SNL. Oh, that's awesome. Good for him. So all of our friends are doing pretty good for themselves.

Yeah. It's like professional jealousy. Yeah. He's good though. He's good. Man, and then the prank videos. You weren't a part of that. I wasn't a part of Harold and Kumar.

So I don't know if this is. I don't want to leave you out. I don't know if you're a near fan or a near fan. I'm a huge a near fan. I'm a huge fan of you personally. We've spent a lot of time together. Yeah. We've had some fun times.

Jake hit on my ex-girlfriend on Halloween. That sounds about right. I know that she was your girlfriend. You were like, damn girl, let me get up on them butt cheeks. I was like, that's what you must have said. Happy Halloween. It is. It usually does work.

It worked. I mean, it definitely worked. She cheated on me a lot. Not with me though, right? I don't think she did in real life. I got to go guys. No, no, no, no, wait. Wait, you're not still with her though, right?

No, no. I'm single. I'm single right now. So when we're answering. And I want to be clear that I had nothing to do with the prank about Halloween. No. No. Yeah.

Cool. We're good. When we answer these questions, this is an advice podcast. I don't know if you know. Is it really? Yeah. We're answering questions from people who are in difficult places in their lives. Okay.

And oftentimes it's going to be relationship advice. And I feel like, you know, we're all, are you how old are you? I'm going to be 32 in December. Shit dude. Okay, so you're 31. I'm 32. Jake's 30. When's your birthday?

January. Oh, Capricorn. Yeah, dude. January what? Don't worry about it. My dad's a Capricorn. You guys, this is totally, this makes so much sense. Your birthday was like two weeks ago.

August 5th. Are you good with birthdays? I mean, that's what Facebook is good for. Yeah. But I don't post on the wall. If I have your phone number. You texted me. You texted me some emojis.

You actually text me almost every birthday and it's real nice. I love you, dude. I love you too, man. I mean, your work is just phenomenal. You're a good guy. I don't want to play professional. No, nor should you because it's so abundantly obvious even before you play favorites. So these are real emails from real people.

UTK, we just need you besides your sage advice, we need you to give these real emails fake names just so we can preserve their anonymity a little bit. So let's say this guy who's writing his name. Let's give him a strong Irish name. Oh, I like that. Cornishone. Oh, wow. Cornishone, a strong Irish name is named after the smallest pickle you can actually imagine.

Cornishone waiters of like Dion. Dion waiters cousin Cornishone. Yeah, Cornishone. Cornishone waiters. That's Irish. Yeah. I don't know why it's not Irish, but here we are. Jake.

Cornishone. Sort of like a Japanese guy. Amir, I'm sorry about Jake. Don't even worry about it. Like I'm totally used to it at this point. Such a fan of your work. I can't believe I'm sitting with Jake and Amir and you're like totally like you're like Amir from the show, but you're so much more.

We've hung out before, right? We didn't just meet today. No, no, but I never, I always get nervous around you. It's so funny because you're so clearly cooler than I am. Not even. Yes, you are. No way. You are objectively cooler than me.

You're wearing a chain. Like your chain is fucking dope. It's a key chain from my mom's temple. I couldn't wear that. I couldn't wear that. Of course you could. I couldn't wear a hat like you are backwards. It's a freebie.

It doesn't matter. Sweats, trendy sweats, basketball jersey. I dressed up for you. I really did. I swear to God. No, it's not. It's like you've got to dress up. This is your chill outfit.

Your chill outfit is cooler than my cool outfit. I saw you before we get to this. I saw you in College Humor performed at, not Irving Plaza, but that other, where you guys used to do the yearly theater show and the Gramercy. You were there and John Mayer was there and I was more excited to see you than fucking John Mayer. I was like, yeah, guy, I saw you. I saw you at Trax in fucking 98.

I'm here. Hi, I'm here. I love your tux. Anyway, what's Cornishon say? Cornishon. Yeah, good. You're a good host. Good co-host.

If Jake ever gets sick or, I don't know. I mean, you guys don't like me anyway. I love you, dude. Why don't you just, you guys should host the show yourself. I love you. Just the professional respect over on this side. It's a little bit more. It weighs, yeah, weighs to the right of the room.

Hey guys, I've written you several times, but I need your help now. This girl I used to hook up with for the last year reached out to me recently to apologize for being a bee. I said everything is okay. She jokingly offered a Netflix and chill sesh and I laughed and agreed. She escalated things quickly until she admitted that she had a girlfriend, but they were looking for a daddy. I was curious and she told me they wanted me to be part of their role-playing where

she wears a pacifier and acts like a little baby girl. I'm not into that kind of stuff, but she is a dime. My question is how hot does a girl have to be for you to endure to sleep with a dime? Here is a picture of her and then it's just a picture of her. Can I see the picture of her? Yeah, that's the most important part of the fucking thing. Well, I'm not talking about this girl specifically. I'm just talking about it.

We'll answer it in general too, but this is what the girl looks like. The question is, can the girl be so attractive that you'd be willing to do a role-play that makes you physically uncomfortable? Corny Shown. Yeah, okay. That's a weird one, right? The pacifier? It's not like a sexual thing.

It's like a weird, like... Before I even saw the picture, my answer is yes. Why not? When are you going to have the opportunity to be with two girls and you're going to be one's daddy while the other one's a baby? I think the weird thing is just a baby. Like, if I was fucking a girl and she was like, I would be like, I am not a child blaster.

I don't know. Yelling in case anybody's recording it. I'm not saying I wouldn't do it, but I do that one's maybe the most uncomfortable fantasy I could imagine fulfilling. Yeah, I don't have a problem with it. I think, I really don't. I think if, unless they're going to piss and shit on themselves and you have to change a diaper, how deep are we going into it? This is a full...

A full week long. You don't even get to have sex. It's just a role-play where you, it's like taking care of an egg in high school. And you have to burp. Yeah, for a week you have to breastfeed the baby. And you have to feed the baby applesauce. You cry for an hour in the middle of the night. Do we think that one of the lesbians,

there's a bisexual couple, if one of them's playing the mom, so you're like mom and dad to a baby? I guess so. And then you could fuck while the baby's watching. Oh yeah, don't wake up the baby. That's cool because it's practice. But what if it is a weird thing like that? Let's get the baby involved.

Are you down? Could you do? Would you be tight? I mean, it's not really a baby. It's a little pervy or something, like morally ambiguous, but it's not a real issue. Do you like when girls call you daddy in bed? I don't think so. I don't know if it's ever happened,

but I don't think that would make me feel comfortable. I've gotten like baby, oh baby. But that's just when you're playing with your dick. Yeah, look at this, my little cornichon. Little baby, little baby. But like hearing baby before you're even in a relationship where there's pet names to be had. Yeah, that's true.

That's like a thing. I feel like girls jump to daddy before baby. Really? I like being called daddy a lot. Daddy? You do, right? I do. It's empowering.

It really is. It's not bad. But do you think of it as a daughter daddy or like an oh daddy? No, I think of like having neck tattoos. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like you're a big daddy.

Sometimes I ask girls to call me father. Yeah. Or their father's name. Or my father's name. Yeah, call me my father's name. Or pretend like role playing where you pretend to be my dad and say you're proud of me. Yeah.

Can you actually muster up the imagination? You did graduate college. You graduated. So you're saying yay worth it, go for it? I say go for it. Get the details. If you don't have to change any diapers and if a threesome's involved and you get to be called daddy.

Yeah. Just man up. Have you ever had a threesome? I have heard of, yeah. Yeah. I mean, oh my mother's going to. So don't fucking tell me you're not cooler than me, dude. You haven't?

No, I haven't had a threesome. You're a fucking bloomin' fail. I don't think anybody thinks I'm as cool as you do. I think they're fucking idiots. Yeah, you just need a girl. You could have a threesome. You two and somebody else. You two and you two.

Have you ever doubled up with a dude on a girl? No, have you? Eiffel Towered? I told you I've never had a threesome. I've never even had a threesome with two ladies. Jake, have you had a threesome? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Not a guy-guy. No, no, no. Yeah, the other one. The real kind. Yeah. The good one. The guy that I wanted. That's the one that I had, yeah.

Well, good for you. What have you? You've had guy-guy-girl and guy-girl-girl? There's no way I was expecting to give up this much of my personal life. And nor do you have to. Don't feel like you're on the spot. You can say pass. I will say, but then people are going to be like, this is like, probably there's every

permutation of adventure time I've probably engaged in. Wow. With five people and under. So there's like five factorial, let's say 125 different possibilities and permutations that you've had. Dude, this is why you don't have threesomes. Wait, wait. I'm talking about permutations.

Are we talking about like even the order at which the guys and girls happen? Because then you're talking about a completely different thing. I would have to say that I lost you a while ago. I'm, I just, you know, mom, you know, I pay my rent and that's all. I mean, you guys happen that. Yeah. You can do, I mean, this isn't a bad thing. This is all good.

I'm jealous. I'm angry. But you, but see me as like a man right now and like sometimes they're nice girls listening and they're going to be like, oh, he got doodoo on his dick now. Sometimes it feels like you're bragging sometimes. It feels like, oh, now I'm coming across real slutty and like girls aren't going to think that's hot cause I'm chauvinistic, but like, what is it really? We, everybody wants, it's a sexual desire.

Everybody wants to have a threesome or not everything. I'm here falling asleep. I'm here. It's like, this is done. Anyway. Yeah. We've, we've done all those things. Courtney, show and try it.

It's dope. Yeah. Go for it. Even if it's just a past. I'll tell you a gross story. Okay. Because I guess I'm just going there right now. Yeah.

As long as you're comfortable. I think I am. We don't get that many listeners somewhere in the 75 to 100,000 range. No. All right guys. Check this out. So imagine standing in the 50 yard line of the Rose Bowl talking to a complete capacity crowd.

I'm down. I'm down. It's all good. So I'm a, this is a night of extreme drinking. Got it. And uh, three beers. Three beers. Yeah.

Yeah. Plus a shot. Whoa. All right. Easy dosage. I was, I was, um, out of my gourd. I wasn't, I was not of this world. You were inside of a gourd.

Yeah. I had, I had checked out. Yeah. I woke up from this brown out and I, is that what it's called when Indian people blackout? Yeah. I think so. Got it. I was on my couch.

Yeah. And I was, I was furiously masturbating. Oh, while you were drunk. Well, yeah. I was like, came out of this blackout. I'm furiously masturbating. There's a pair of perfect breasts in front of me. Oh.

Um, I cannot remember the face. I don't remember the face attached to him, but I do remember these boobs were really nice. Okay. And I'm like nuzzling my face in these boobs. Got it. And all I hear is like, uh, that's it. That's it. Do it for mommy.

Good boy. Good boy. Wow. And I was like, how did I get into a mother's son? Yeah. It's this girl. Breast suckling jerk off fantasy. This is happening right now.

That's dope. And then you went back into your brown out. No. Then I went and peed and I asked her to leave. Did you finish or what? I did not. I got really uncomfortable when I realized what was happening. See, this is what this guy's afraid of.

I was like, yeah, but this is a little bit different. That's fucking dope. And I was like, oh boy, this is not. I've been a bad boy, mommy. Yeah. I was like, wait a minute. Did I play along? How far did I start this?

What's going on here? I got, you know, when you pull the, I got a pee. Sorry. Oh yeah. That's a good one. You got a goo. Yeah. Anyway, I have probably been fired by my agent manager at this point.

No, no, this is good publicity. But Amir, I mean, you're just so good and I just have so much respect for you as an artist that I just feel like I need to pour my heart out to you. Please put me in something. I mean, we should. This is it. This is the beginning. This is all we have for now.

Oh my God. It's so exciting. This is us putting you in something. I appreciate it. Were you always cool or just are you peaking now? Because I was sort of, I mean, you're also a child of immigrant parents. Yeah. Were you like a nerdy high school or were you cool in high school?

I was, I was okay in high school. Okay. I was like, I got, well, no, I was a nerd, but I was like, I got into theater. So I started performing and then I would do dance competitions. Oh, shit. And the morning announcements were televised. So I used to go up and do little rapidy raps and sing. Wow.

Where was this? In Maryland, in Gaithersburg, Maryland. Cool. It'd be really amazing if you still remembered your morning raps from the morning announcements. Oh man, I don't. I remember. Cross practice and SAT prep. Our lip sync dance crew was called the regulators.

We were nerds. We were total geeks. But like geeks in a cool way. Yeah. Are they all like, like tight knit and like. Yeah. So they're sort of outcast, but it's like on their own little island. Like they don't care.

Yeah. We were misfits. Yeah. But for sure. In a celebrated way. Yeah. Which is sort of like the pitch perfect thing. That's exactly my life.

I was like the dude who wore tight pants to the nerd party. And they were like, whoa, dude, you're cool. Look at his cardigan. Yeah. And he'd be like, yes, TJ Maxx. Yes. Thank you, Ross. Marshals.

TJ Maxx. What'd you do in high school? I was like. Debate team? Not even. Like I was like newspaper, like trying to write jokes. I did yearbook. Yeah.

Yearbook. A lot of literary stuff. Yeah. Like hanging out with my friends playing video games. Like I didn't perform or anything like that. Until later? Yeah. Until later.

You played fucking hockey, didn't you? No. I was like, I was kind of nerdy. I was like lazy and funny. I was like a. Class clown. Yeah. Class clown.

I was like, what's like the, like sort of like a lame troublemaker. Just like a disruptive asshole. A dickling. Yeah. A nuisance. That was me. You were a little dickling. I was a little dickling through high school.

That's so cute. I was a dick too. But mostly when it came to women, I was pretty cool. Yeah. I had a good time. Did you have sex in high school? Well, senior year, second semester, senior year. I'm not going to say her name.

You don't have to. We would never, maybe. Come on dude. Come on dude. Well, yeah. I just, how old were you when you lost your virginity? 19. Five.

That's awesome. That's so dope. It was one of those baby fantasies actually. Only it was a reality. It was a baby reality. All right. Speaking of age and experience, we got one more question to get to. I don't know if we have a few more, but here's one more.

UTK, you got another fake name. This is from a lady actually. Okay. Joseph? No. Josephine. No, I like Joseph so much. Immoratu.

Wow. What is that? What's her ethnicity? She's from Poughkeepsie. That's good. I like that. Josephine has a long story, but the crux of the question is this. How do men feel about a young woman who's already been married?

Do they view her as damaged goods or not that big of a deal? To me, it's not that big of a deal because I've been so far removed from that part of my life and sometimes that I forget that I even used to be married. But I do understand that the topic of marriage itself is bound to come up in any relationship and of course I will not hide the fact that I am divorced from someone that I'm dating. But I want to be sensitive to the perception of it and I want to approach it in the right way. So the other part of my question is when is it a good time to tell someone that you're

dating that you've been married before? Should I wait until I'm asked or what are your thoughts on this whole issue? So this girl has been divorced and she wants to know. She got married when she was 21, divorced when she was 23, and now she's like 26 or something? Yeah, 27. All right. No kids. No kids.

No problem. Yeah, I wonder. Why doesn't he come up? Why doesn't he come up? It would be a weird thing if you're dating someone and then after a year she's like, oh, I've been married. After a year, if you are having feelings and going about the boyfriend and girlfriend thing, I think you should probably be like, yo, just so you know, it's going to come up.

I was married. I fucked it up. I did a lot of cheating or like I was a psycho and then like, that's the fear, right? What did this person do or not do? Yeah, that's all you want to know. But it's weird. Divorce is the question. Yeah.

Was it? I mean, it's always... Yeah, why did you get divorced? What was the... And what would you rather it be? The lady broke it off or the guy broke up with her? An ideal world is we drifted apart because we got married too young and we didn't want to be married and we didn't love each other.

Yeah, we're really good friends. We just never talk to each other ever. Right. Like, you guys friends? Yeah, you talk? No. Cool. I mean, in theory it's not...

That's the best because you never want somebody who's like, oh, you got married. Like how was it? It was awful. It was volatile. It was nasty. And we have an ugly divorce and he doesn't give me... He was nasty to me. Yeah.

Because then you're like, what the fuck? I don't know. That's a little scary. But it's kind of weird because that's theoretically what happens after everybody's... You dated somebody for three years and you broke up. But nobody's ever like, why aren't you together with your ex-girlfriend? Right. Why didn't it work out?

I've had relationships that lasted longer than this marriage. Yeah. And it's not as big a deal. When you go on a first date, nobody is like, well, what happened with your previous relationships? They don't ask you that? Not on a first date, but it does come up like, what's your dating history? How long have you had? Have you had many girlfriends?

How long was your longest relationship? I don't... I try not to bring this shit up. I never bring it up. Girls bring it up though. They do. But whenever girls bring that up to me, I'm like, I'll tell you whatever you want to know, but don't feel bad if I don't ask you the questions back because I don't want to

know. Hell no. It's the last thing I care about. That's the other thing too, is I'm of that frame of mind where if it's not my business, then it should stay that way. Anything that happened before you met, that's not... I don't glean any useful information from it. From the past.

All that it serves to do is make me a little uncomfortable. But there is a situation where it's like, oh, I was with this guy for 10 years and we just broke up two weeks ago. That's a bigger deal than... Yeah. Then you're like, okay, then we're just fucking. I know what this is then. That's what I'm saying, that the past is somewhat useful going forward.

It's not completely random. Maybe you want to fill in a couple of blanks, like when was your last relationship? Two years ago. Great. No more questions. Yeah. No more questions, your honor. None.

But there is information that's helpful. It's not just random. But I think occasionally it's, I don't know, maybe there's an eminent flow, but it doesn't feel like it should be up to me to pry that information out. Are you very newly single? This girl's saying she wants to volunteer the marriage information. If you're dating a dude and you like him, get it out of the way. Just be like, listen, this might come up at the dinner table with my parents and they're

going to talk about my old friggin' husband. That's good. So I'm just going to nip it in the bud. It is a little weird. It's like, at one point in the last three years, this woman was proposed to and planned and went through the happiest day of her life with some other guy. But also, when you get married that young, you sort of understand that. There are photos of their weddings celebrating.

They're the most in love that they've ever been. Yeah. If you go to your dating somebody and click back through their oldest photos on Facebook, you can always see selfies of them and their exes. And they're a pride. This one would be like, yeah, her old profile picture is her in a wedding dress with another guy holding it and kissing his mom because that was part of her family for a little bit. And then in comes Jake and he just wants to hang.

Yeah, right. You want to kick it? You want to go to IHOP? She got married so young that it's like, I don't know, even though I'm sure the wedding was meaningful, it doesn't feel like as much of a big life altering event as whatever she did after her divorces. So one of her questions is kind of silly, should I wait until I'm asked? I don't think the guy will ever ask if you've been married before.

No, it's not something that crosses. If you're 26, probably not. If you're 36, first question. Yeah, that's true. As you get older. So if you're married, you have kids, what's up, if you're 26, you're like, what was college like? Would you eat for breakfast?

Did you ever have a husband? Yeah, right? Were you husbanded at one point? Did you sign a contract that say you would stay with somebody for the rest of your life? Do you sign a contract? How do you do? The interesting question is like, after having been married, does she want to get married again?

Or is like, if you're dating her, does that buy you some time or is she like, no, let's just see what this is for 10 years and then maybe we can get married since I already did that. You know what I mean? Right. That's true. That could be good. That could be a nice thing.

There's like, you already got it over with. You can tell my feelings about commitment from that statement. I'm with you. I don't believe in marriage necessarily either. It's a strange idea to me. Can you imagine? I love you so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

I have this piece of paper saying that everything is mine, stays mine if you fuck up or if I fuck up. I love you. Really? I don't think that's going to happen. But if it does, no, but all of our families, they'll stand in a room and watch us promise each other. Yeah.

Otherwise, it's not real to us. I promise I'll never leave you. Can we just read an email? My dad, I want your dad, your mom, your aunt, that person, the babysat you got because I want to tell that in front of everyone, I'll say only us forever. And then I might have to do that twice so nobody gets too attached to this guy. So maybe I would say my advice would be to, at a certain point, if you think that you're going to be in a relationship with someone, maybe you can ask him about his prior relationship

stuff. And when he answers that, you can tell him that, oh yeah, I was actually married before. That's really... Give him a heads up. I'm here. You're so good at this, man. I didn't even know that. That is so thoughtful and heartfelt and also no responsibility.

It's just like the most loving, sneaky way to do it. Yeah. You ask them, they ask you. You respond. You were married. Maybe he cares. Maybe he doesn't. Just be the water.

Water goes flows and up and around in the room. And you're not... It's not choosing the direction. True. Crawling into UTK's lap. This is so cute. UTK is petting him like a cat. Come here, buddy.

Let's take a quick break. We're going to thank one other sponsor and then we'll be right back with more UTK. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Thank you, BetterHelp. If you're finding yourself in a difficult, anxious, stressful situation, talking to a professional licensed therapist is the best way to navigate yourself out of that difficult place and it's not necessarily easy to find a therapist, especially one in your area. BetterHelp makes that all easy because it's online therapy designed to be convenient, flexible

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Just use that offer code if I were you to save 10% off that first purchase. Thank you, Squarespace. Hey, we're back. Where'd you get your sweatpants? I got these at the top stop. Top shop? Top shop. Is that your style?

Top man. Yeah, sure. Do you think I could wear those? I definitely think you'd love wearing these. No, I'm saying it would be comfortable but Jake, do you think I could pull that off? You have a pair of sweatpants. The Nike sweatpants that you got are pretty excellent. Yeah, but they're not that cool.

Look at the E-pads. Yeah. It gets like really tapered at the bottom. Bro, you should please take these from me when I leave. We'll trade. I want to take these pants. Try them. Are they medium?

They're a medium. Yeah, we're the same size. Are you 5'11", 150 pounds? 55, yeah. That's me, dude. I was fucking overselling it. I was afraid. Are you really?

Yeah. I'm 56. I'll give you two. Oh, shit. Dude, we're the same. We are very similar. And your glasses are pretty similar too. Yeah.

I'm like on another level and I'm just trying to get to where you're at. The level that I'm on is different. Yeah. It's but lower. No, no, no. Not even close. We should go out together. That would be super fun.

Yeah. Are you kidding? I'm dead ass. That would be so much fun. Hang out. What the fuck? Well, you're a little bit too tall. I've never like socialized with a mirror.

You and I have hung out a bunch. Yeah, yeah, we have fun. So what do you do for fun? Like on the weekends, if we go out, where would we go? I drink mad cherry. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I go to movies and I get the dibs, ice creams and I mix them with the popcorns and I eat

them shit. Really? You don't give a shit. And I eat a lot of country fried steak, a lot of gravy. Sorry, you're skinny by accident. You're eating bad food and you're still skinny or do you work out? I eat once every two days. That's pretty much it.

Oh, that's what it is. You'll have one country fried steak a week. One country fried steak a week. And then nothing else. I'm skinny by accident. Yeah. Do you work out? Do you run?

Do you exercise? I am useless. I'm a useless human being. I play basketball once every month or so. Yeah. I'm like, rue the day I ever decided to make that decision. So I'm struggling to keep this physique and then you're just it by accident. You don't work out.

I do. You do? Yeah. I'm jealous. Like five days a week. Yeah. How? What's your routine?

Like today I ran and then I did push-ups. I could not run. You could run? No, no. I don't think my knees could take it. I really don't. Why do you think so? I blame it on playing catcher in elementary school for four years.

I fucked up my knees playing. For three days. Yeah. Yeah. I'm lazy. I got to start working though. I'm withering away. Yeah.

You turn to 32, dude. Yeah. That's no joke. And then by 35, you don't know anything about this, but when you're 32 or getting there, shit starts to go south. Well, that's what I'm asking. You're skinny and then you're not even- It doesn't look good with my shirt off.

Oh, there's no definition. It's just- But there's no sag though. There's no flab. There's no flab. It's like the ski slope thing is starting to happen. Which is what? The ski slope breasts.

And they're like this. Just a little sort of going like that. They're so small though. The nice little wine glass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really embarrassing.

You're getting little perky A cups. Yeah. It's tough, man. Just a little acorn titties. Tiny little punch. Just doesn't make any sense. But you're not- Do you find yourself very busy?

Do you have time to work out if you wanted to? You're in movies and TV shows, but is that like an often thing or is that like once every couple months thing? There's more than enough time for me to be in physical shape. Yeah. And I just- Are you averse to it? You don't like working out?

You don't like the way you do it? You know what it's like when you start working out? Yeah. The first three or four days are just useless. Yeah. They're useless waste of time. You're weak and you're not seeing any results and you're just tired. You feel sad and bad about yourself.

Yeah. And there's big dudes at the gym and they're looking at you and you're just like- They're like, what am I, five years away from that? Yeah. Fuck you guys. I don't like you. You get muscle milk and then you get the shit and you're like, I got diarrhea and I'm tired.

I can't work out now. I have diarrhea. You're doing squats and you have just like skid marks in your shorts. Forget squat. And then like, God forbid you go by yourself and you try to bench press on your own. Oh no. Yeah. That's dangerous.

And then I'm putting like, I'm putting like 10 pounds on the barbell. Right. That's it. I'm just struggling at 10 pounds. So you belong to a gym? I belong to the 24, not 24. On Hollywood in La Brea. I got a month pass that expired a few days ago.

Four years ago. I went once. Yeah. I even told him, I was like, I want a month pass. You probably won't see me ever again. He was like, fair enough. Can I have your money now, sir? Oh man.

70 bucks. Just pissed it away. But you look good though. No, no. I need some biceps is what I need. Yeah, dude. That's not hard. Make a muscle, man.

Make a muscle. Biceps are actually the easiest one. Make a muscle for you, TK. Do you really? I want to show you off. I hope it. It really won't. Well, should I do it like underhand or like overhand?

Do a Van Damme style. Like this shit. Like look at that. That's awesome. Yeah. That's good. You have a good physique too. Yeah, I work out.

Ladies out there. We rock climb. Rock climbing is fun. It gets you in physical shape. And then you feel like you're good. I'll come rock climbing. Come with us. You know I was talking about doing like a fitness kind of thing for if I were you fans.

Oh yeah. To like, I mean, we're not like we can promote actually, yeah, we don't, we're not like personal. We're not that strong, but we're like, we're like, I like being, yeah, I like, I think we're more inspirational because look at us, right. You can at the very least look like me, which is not really anything. So like, instead of like putting up Arnold, your arms are good. Yeah. That's fine.

That's pretty nice. That's great. Like it's a healthy dad bod. Yeah. I want to look like what I imagine people think Barack Obama's body looks like. That's, that's a really nice chiseled, probably, I don't know. He hasn't like let himself go entirely yet. He looks great.

Well, he really does. I just hope that whoever's listening and like will try their best girls out there who are listening who have a close friend or both of you guys are listening together, not help because he doesn't need help, but throw yourselves at a mirror with a, with a threesome, please. Well, I really want you to be able to, to have that in my repertoire. I also want to let you know that threesome's are not nearly as cool as you think they are because generally it's two girls that are interested in experiencing each other and they're kind of going at it and they're super excited about like seeing a vagina and getting

to play with one for the first time. That sounds great to me. Yeah. Yeah. And then you just sort of try and get it in wherever you can. Yeah. No, that's, that's all I need. Can I, you just described a perfect night for me.

You underselling it just, it really knocked it out of the park. It's, it's fun. I mean, you just sit there, you've, you put your hands where they go. Well, how many times have you, they get smacked away a lot, smacking away. Have you done this a lot? I have once upon a time, I had a proclivity for such behavior. How do you, okay, now that you're, I'm talking to somebody who's done it a bunch. Do you find yourself in a situation where you're being invited or do you have to sort

of make the magic happen with. There needs to be a, a, across the board and enthusiasm. Right. And again, most of the enthusiasm is coming from the one girl who you usually are like more connected to. Oh, I see. Who's like, I want to try some pussy. And then the other girl who's like, I know all about pussy.

I can help. Oh, I see. And then you are just sort of like, this is awesome. This sounds like a freaking dream. Yeah. And then you get there and you're like, I have no business being here. Why? Hey, hey, I'm the man.

Like none of the things where they both crawl up to you on all fours and gently ladle your sure. Into there where two girls are doing something to you at the same time. That's just not how these things work. I mean, in my experience. So let's say in the grand scheme of your sexual experiences, where does the best threesome rank? Is it in the top 10% is it and not even in the top 10% 25th percentile?

Yeah. And the best one is up there because it was like, whoa, that was cool. Christ. What? I'm curious. That was about the percentile. I'm just wondering. What is it?

As a bar graph. Answer, does he? Yeah. The graph in your mind. Yeah. No, I see it. I'm right there with it. Visual.

Visualize. Like I'm seeing a bar, a rectangle. And I want to know. Oh, you're hard. Yeah. Yeah. I'm hired. It's up there.

Yeah. They're fun. It's good to have one. But this podcast, if it does, it's going to ruin my reputation. No. But I hope that it throws. You'll sacrifice that for a mirror to have a threesome. Please ladies.

If anything. It doesn't matter what you look like. Well, am I too old? 32 is kind of old to have a threesome, isn't it? Isn't it a young dance game? No. You just told me you work out. You've got stamina.

Oh, that's it. All you need is to be able to rejog for a month. Yeah, dude. You need stamina. I don't have any stamina right now. I smoke cigarettes. I drink Red Bull. Oh, really?

I'm like 20 pumps and I need a break. That's legit. I'm just like, yo, if you had met me at 24, that's the UTK you want it to fuck. You go from like a-ha-ha-ha to saying things like, do you like it slow and deep? Yeah. I'm sick of drinking a Red Bull. Yeah. Do you like it?

Do you mind if we do it slow? Do you mind if is a great question to ask when having sex? Really, just this voice inside your head is like, we're running out of gas, running out of gas. Completely separate question that I wanted to ask. Please. Yes. How do you freestyle?

How does one freestyle? Practice. Because Jake and I try and we're not very good. You're good. No, we're not. I'm sorry, I should speak for myself. I'm not very good. I'm awesome.

Yeah, Jake's awesome. You tell us. But how do you fucking, like, are you thinking of the rhyme before you say the original sentence? Almost always. Almost always you have like your, it's like mad libs, right? And you have a bunch of blank syllables that you fit in and then you have a word that rhymes at the end. So almost immediately I'll think about my rhyming word and then I'll fill in the blanks.

So you're thinking of one thing while you're saying another? Yeah. It's sort of like, how do I get to this end point? Right? I should say that you're in Freestyle Love Supreme, which is like a freestyle rap improv group. Yes, exactly. I've never seen that perform.

It's one of the most like impressive things. They did a couple of shows where we were at. It's Shockwave. It's amazing. Who beatboxes, who actually just has, we should talk about, he launched a podcast on our network. Shock and awesome. Yeah.

So if you want to hear Shockwave beatbox and interview and rap and hip hop and all that good stuff. And his first episode is with the Goldie Shack guerrilla. Yeah. So you know it's good. Oh, it's good. I know Goldie's house real well. And Arson as well.

I was in that group when I was in New York. Wow. Spouting political, like whatever, just yelling political stuff with no knowledge. And I would just come and sing and be like... That's the best way to yell. Oh man. It's without knowledge. You can sing too.

A little bit. So wait, I have so many things. But first of all, Shock and awesome, yeah, Shock and awesome podcast, new podcast on the headgum network. Check it out. He's a great friend. He's a really good. Nice guy.

He's a big old regular sized dick on that one. Oh, that's good. He has a regular sized dick. No, I think that thing is pretty big. Yeah. He's sitting on a tripod. I heard that too. And then, so you're part of this group.

It's you. Lin-Manuel Miranda. Who's doing his Hamilton winning every award. Chris Jackson. Davide Diggs. Who's playing Jefferson and Lafayette on Hamilton. Tommy Cale, who's directing Hamilton as the director. Anthony Veniziali to touch.

Who lives in San Francisco now with his wife and his two beautiful babies. So everyone has gone on to do amazing things. Yeah, yeah. It's incredible. He works for Google now. He's doing good stuff. And then, who's the keys player, Arthur Lewis. It's like a collective.

It's the collective of probably the most talented seven or eight people that I know. Thank you. You guys are so fucking fast and good. I think there are videos of it online if you haven't seen it. Yeah, Freestyle Love Supreme. We had a show on Pivot that ran for 10 episodes that mixed some unscripted stuff with the live show, which was pretty cool. It's like improv, which is already really hard.

And then also freestyling at the same time. It's so fun, man. It's like funny and also musically really, really fucking impressive. I was super split. Do we have time to get into this? Yeah, let's do it. I was super split because I started doing theater and I've always been not like you guys, but comedy oriented, nothing even close to as amazing as you guys are.

Seriously, you guys are the best. I feel like a douchebag talking about me being funny in front of you. But I was doing the funny stuff. But then when I really started getting into hip hop and freestyling in college, I started rapping at these open mics at clubs and then I started doing rap battles. And I was battling like for the people that don't know, if you've seen the movie Eight Mile, it was legitimately just like that, except it was like instead of the white kid, it was like the skinny Indian kid and everyone was like, go get a Slurpee and friggin' A-Rab,

Taliban, blah, blah, blah. And I had to like figure that out. This is where? This is in New York. Okay. And I did pretty well. I mean, I did very well. Yeah.

Okay. You don't have to be humble here. All right. No, I won. I won quite a bit. And then I got into this hip hop play called History of the Word, which was playing at Rutgers University at the Crossroads Theater. And the producer of that knew the freestyle love supreme guys.

And Lynn was going to do this other play called In the Heights, because he's a fucking genius. Oh, he's officially a genius. He won an award. I know. That's how he was a genius. I love him. I really do. He is a genius.

It's incredible. Well, the great thing about Lynn is when like Obama or Michelle Obama comes to see his show, he is as excited as when his third grade science teacher comes. Yeah. It's just the same amount of. And he's done just like videos for college humor. He's like so into it and so invested. I'm like, you care about this more than I do.

And you have so much more important shit going on. He does. He only does dope shit. That's awesome. So they brought me into audition with these guys and I came into this machine that was already like well oiled and like selling out houses and shows and it just, I mean, it took off. I got an agent off of Freestyle Love Supreme off of fucking rapping, off of making a rap.

I can't imagine seeing that show and being like, that's all right. I don't need to represent any of these guys. So even Pitch Perfect, the guy from who directed Pitch Perfect, Jason Moore directed this show called Avenue Q on Broadway and he called Tommy, who's the director of and Tommy co-signed me. So it's like, I mean, that has nothing to do with the actual show. I'm just giving you guys the backstory. But the show itself is dope.

It melts. This is what it is. When I came in, I was like, yo, I'm the best, I never settle for less, I get the biggest breast, it's right, I smoke zest, all the girls wanna digest my fucking nuts and I grab on their butts, yo, what's up, what's up. And Tommy was like, that's really cool, but we're not trying to dick swing here. We're trying to talk about like, um, yeast, like, we're just trying to talk about three seconds of thought, we want to like, we want to discuss like the like, Italian architecture

or like the history of Jean-Claude Van Damme, right. So everyone has a specific niche that they fill, right, they have like an encyclopedic knowledge of a certain area of topics. So mine is like sports, music, comic book heroes. Yeast. Yeast. You're an yeast expert. But like that, and he was like that, that, um, that's not interesting for us to like,

to exalt ourselves. What we want to do is use our skills to like, to look into the minute details of life and make them interesting, which is very much about improv, right. It's like a tenant of improv, I think, from my UCV201 training. But yeah, you did have to take some training just to like understand the comedic formulas and structure. In the game. So it's cool, man.

It's fun. But the cool thing about you or for me is that your, your niche is sports. So like I'm right there with you, like collecting basketball cards in 1993. So when you're wrapping up there about like Dan Marley and Mark Long and fucking Kevin Johnson and Charles Barkley, I'm like extra into it because I'm seeing you as the Lakers guy. Yeah. You know, he scored more points for the Lakers in the nineties than any other player.

I did know that. I do. Do you do sparkle to be a game? I do. Are you on that? Yeah. Are you on that? You guys really do have to hang out.

Dude. Sporkel is my jam. I'm, I'm the, I'm like an unnoticed part of a threesome right now. You got the clipper shirt on. Did you guys write a finger UTK and he was just like batting my hand? No. Come here. Did you put it in my pocket?

That's how it always works too, is it's like, I'm trying to finger you and you're batting my hand away. No, come here. Come on. You just feel, there's nothing worse than being pitied in a threesome. Sad during a threesome. I like you. Oh, and like.

Imagine you're having a threesome and somebody says to you, what's wrong? How could anything be wrong? You look glum. But it's true. I'm also, I'm so in my head even when it's just one on one. I can't imagine if I like, if I sense that somebody's pitting me or looking down on me, I just feel like. It's tough.

All my friends are there laughing at me in the room even though they're not yet. What was that? Yeah, you just got to be honest and be like, I need some attention. I need, guys, I need some, I need a little bit of love right now. Hey, what about little old me? Do you have time to answer one more question? Do you have to go? Dude, I fucking love Jake and Amir.

When you guys. He's just saying this as he's shaking his head. He doesn't have time. The last episode when you guys read your very first script and you guys started tearing up and then you were like, this is so dumb, but it wasn't dumb because it was so good when I, oh my God, I fucking failed. I felt for the first time. Did you guys cry when you shot that?

No, but it was oddly emotional. It was the last thing we shot. That scene was the last thing we shot in the office. We shot it. I think that was a really cool thing. Our producer did. She shot them all in order so we didn't have to like bounce around because I wasn't that practical to shoot them all in order, but she made it work.

And then we were also so busy shooting that last date that we didn't even check in and be like, this is crazy. We're shooting the last episodes until it was like that final shot. And I was like, whoa, wait, this is the last shot right now. And you guys have been doing the show for like two years. Yeah, at the very least two. If not six more than that anyway. Anyway, that was great.

So yes, I have time. What's up? All right, here we go. I just started seeing a new guy. Oh shit. It's a girl's name. It's a girl's name. Swanson.

Yeast. Yeast. Yeast. Swanson. Yeast. Swanson. Yeasty. Yeasty.

Swanson. Yeasty. Swanson. I just started seeing this new guy. The new guy is completely the opposite of my type. While I tend to like tall skinny guys, I'm five foot nine. I lean more towards bigger guys rather than skinny. This new guy is barely my height, stupid skinny, especially next to my very curvy body.

So I never thought anything would come of this new relationship. I find myself unbelievably sexually and emotionally attracted to this new person. We've gone on two dates and he's asked me to be his girlfriend already. To which I have said I needed more time to figure out. Smart. I haven't said, I haven't had sex with this new guy yet. And I feel reluctant because I've convinced myself there's a chance he would reject me. I know you guys make jokes.

Because of that big old butt. I know you guys make jokes. Which is great by the way. Okay, go ahead. I know you guys would make jokes about guys having sex with whoever and whatever. But do you think there's a chance of being rejected once the new guy sees me naked? Oh, I just want to have UTK. You never even have to be on the podcast.

Just to be there while you read the questions. Calm down. Yeah, like the background of a rap track. Big old B. Uh huh. Yeast. What do you think? I think once a guy is attracted to you enough to ask you to be your girlfriend.

That's a whole separate weird issue that he asked you that that early. There's no chance he's going to see or be surprised when you're naked. When you're naked, that's the best part. Like if you're down with somebody clothed, naked is like 10 times better. You never see someone naked and they're like, oh, that reversed everything that I already thought. That's true. He knows that you have curves.

He can see that. So when you take off your clothes and you can really see the curves, I think he'll lose his mind. I think he'll lose his mind. I'm pretty sure that this tiny little skinny man likes the curves. Like, yeah, you're good. We're all slender gentlemen. And I really dig curves, man.

You like them skinny? No, no, no. I like stuff that I don't have. But I like boobies and I like curvings and I like the Jays. Me too. Because these are things that I can't look down and see. I mean, I'm starting to be able to see some boobies. But your titties are too small still.

Yeah, my titties are too small for myself. I would say that the thing that she needs to focus on is this, will you be my girlfriend? How old is Yeast? Yeast hey. Yeast. God, I don't know if she actually said. Sounds like high school or college. Oh, wait, 20.

Oh, 20. Okay. So this seems like a really nice guy then. Yeah. Like be my girlfriend after two dates. He seems like the dad from Back to the Future. I just saw Back to the Future recently, but he's just like, will you be my girlfriend? You know, like that kind of like awkward, nervous, skinny guy.

The bad guy from Charlie's Angels. Oh, Crispin Glover. That's who you're talking about, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Crispin. You know Crispin? That's who took me to the Laker game. Yeah, Crispy.

Keep it Crispin. Oh, man. I saw him recently at the Playboy mansion for the Midsummer Nights party that they had. What the fuck? How do you go to the play? Can we? The Mourn from New Girl. Oh, Name Drop.

Yeah. Oh, shit in my own mouth. Fuck, that's disgusting. Oh, Heidel Mourn. Call me. Call me back to me. I got that great movie idea we were talking about, having heard back from you. We were, Crispin Glover was there in this like purple velvet suit and everything.

So gangster. He looks like he's like our age. Really? And he's probably, he's got to be 40 or 50 at this point. Yeah, because he was old in Back to the Future, which is 1985, 30 years ago. He is just. So he's probably old. Wasn't he like 30 in 30, 30 years ago?

Isn't he 60? Yeah, he might be, but he looks like he's 25. Wow. Are you sure you saw Crispin Glover? It was him. It was definitely him. I think that this guy wants to be her boyfriend. And then that's weird.

Yeah. At 20 though. But when you were 20, were you saying, because I might have been the kind of guy that was after two days, like, do you want to date? I don't even remember what I was like. Cause I was so worried about like her not liking me. When I was 20, I had like crushes for like three years. So like, I'm like, I'm ready for what we have to have together because I've been thinking

about this person for that long without doing anything. I would kiss a girl. I would, I would ask girls to be my girlfriend before we even went on a date at all. Cause it's like, I don't know. It's super romantic. And I don't think she has to say like, yes, I'll be your girlfriend. But it's like, Hey, I want you to be my girlfriend. And she's like, I like that.

And then she didn't date him. She doesn't have to say yes. Yeah. She can be like, we can take a little bit more time. When I was 20 or like 19, 20, I would like kiss a girl, make like a double LP mix tape. Wow. Like two, one of like heartfelt, one of fun. I would give them that shit handwritten with the playlist and everything.

And then wonder why they get freaked out and be like, I'm not going to be able to do it. Cause they played it backwards and it was a death threat. Yeah. Right. It was like, I'm needy. Will you be with me? I think that if she's a big girl, she just should make sure as all men and women should do just make sure you're groomed and everything is looking good.

Oh. Take a, you know, I know that for myself, I got a, I'm an Indian. I got Harry and other regions. Sure. Papa got to take a little clippers to the, to it. Speaking of clippers. Carefully. Yeah.

Um, because stuff can go wrong. Stuff can go awry. Yeah. Stuff can go awry. That's the only thing I would be worried about unless he's into Harry girls. And this is not even to say that yeast is Harry. No. But I'm sorry that we're calling you yeast.

She's worried about her curves and you're worried about her hair. Yeah. This is me. This is my projectic. This is my issue. I'm projecting. You're going to do fine. Sorry.

We called you yeast. Yeah. You're going to be fine. He's not going to backtrack. Hell no. If he wants to. I mean clearly, I think she just needs to, she's got to stand naked in front of a mirror and be like, my body's dope and I'm going to go blow this guy's fucking mind.

Yeah. And you will. Cause his thin little dick is going to be, it's, it's going to go on a little adventure. Don't listen to him. This guy's, he's got a huge dick. Yeah. Just wait for it. The skinnier you are, the bigger your dick.

He's got a regular shockwave. But if it's over three and a half inches, it's gigantic just so you know. That's above average. It's hidden in all of his hair. It's 90th percentile as they call it. It's really big. Uh, UTK. Yeah.

Thanks for coming on the show. On that? Yeah dude. Okay. That was perfect. I just want to say guys. Yeah. That it's been such an honor.

It's been a thrill ride for us. To be hanging out with my heroes. We should legit hang. I'm legit going to go home and watch every single episode of Jake and I'm here after this. I'm going to. I've got the afternoon free. When you're done in three weeks, we should hang out. I would love to.

Really? I'm going to hold you to it. Yeah. Because we're both single now. We'll take a picture. And then hold ourselves accountable. What are you doing this weekend? We're going to go out.

We're going to go out on Friday. I'm going to Texas. That's awesome dude. We'll be there. Yeah. Let's come. Austin City Limits. Oh shit.

You're doing. Are you doing? Are you experiencing? I'm experiencing. Austin's awesome. Yeah. It's going to be really good. It's going to be dope.

We should maybe go. All right. Let's go. There's lots of room for a threesome in here. Ladies, somebody please. Amir, so he's so hot. He look at him. Do you want to plug anything?

Just you having a threesome. What do I? What can I plug? Do you have an Instagram or Twitter or a show or a movie or a thing people should watch? At U-T-K-The-I-N-C. U-T-K-T-H-E-I-N-C on Twitter and Instagram. I'm going to be in Ride Along 2 in January. Damn.

That's awesome. Barbershop 3 is coming out next year. Jesus. Other than that. Barbershop 3 equals. I got some music coming out that I'll let people know about. I'm singing with my guitar. Really?

Yeah. No rap. Is that true? It's all singing. Holy shit. You want to hear a little bit of it right now? Yeah. How do we do that?

I can just play it through my phone on the mic. Oh, really? Is that weird? No. Let's do it. We don't have an ending song now. We'll just use this one. Okay.

I haven't played this for anyone. Holy shit. This is a world premiere. Can I whisper LA leakers throughout it so it's like an audio watermark? Yeah, do it. First I got to find it. Oh, that's great. It's not good.

I'm really proud of it. I'm really proud of it. I'm sure you want to play it. I'm super proud of it. All right. Should we go out this way? Yeah. This is it.

This is the end. Thanks for listening, everybody. If you have your own questions, your own theme songs, your own Facebook thumbnail submission, send it all to ifhoweryoushow at gmail.com. UTK. Thanks for coming on the show. We'll be back next week. Let's hear one of UTK's jams.

What's the name of it? It's called Bang Bang. Bang Bang. Thanks for being here, Jake. On our way out. There you got it, babe. Three suns. Amir.

Three suns. Seriously. Somebody give us a chance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody give him your three suns. Four. That was over.