If I Were You - 567: Amir Is Sick

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

In this episode we discuss throat spray, law students, and Jake’s father. Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.  See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum original. This is a headgum original. That was sick. Oh my gosh. Great song. That was way too loud. Was it too much for you, bud? I thought it was pretty neat, bud.

Wow. I'm sure you did. That was Eric from the band Bad Magic. That's cool. Thanks, Eric. I thought that was incredible. It's a good thing we didn't play it right at first because he kept sending us updated versions of the theme songs.

So that one was the third and final mix. Final, final, final. Yeah, that's good. I'm glad we did. I'll call it a polished final. A polished final on final, yeah. Yeah, that's good. If you're watching this on our YouTube channel,

as you can always do, we're now recording the Zoom slash in person records as video episodes. Correct. You can see that I'm dealing with a series of shadows. Yeah, you certainly are. I've been doing more puppetry recently. I don't know if you can see that. That's cool.

I'm glad you're getting back into your puppeteering. That's good. That's a dog. That's really nice. That's nice, right? Let's see if you can cast the shadow of your dick on the back wall because that'd be interesting because then it would finally look big since you have such a, there it is.

That's good. Yeah. It looks like a baby's fist. That's awesome. Not really a baby's fist. It's a manjina. Oh my God. I'm serious.

You do have a manjina. I said Eric, right? Eric Novak from Bad Magic. You did say Eric. Yeah. All right, cool. In the last episode, we talked about how we should get vaccinated and boosted and how I was going to Vegas and how I might get COVID and all that stuff.

Yeah. And then you, when I went to Vegas and then I got, I got COVID, I felt sick there. You got, you, you were actually one of the people that everybody else has warned about, a sick person in Vegas. That's right. Because you got COVID right before you left. It's either right before I left or on the way there because I started not feeling great on the Thursday I arrived.

Oh my God. Which is exactly a week ago. And then by Friday night, I felt ill and then we were leaving Saturday morning. Did you do anything on Friday night or did you stay in the hotel? We like had such a long day on Friday that by the time like it got to 10pm, I felt so tired and ill that I like kind of collapsed in our hotel room. Did other people stay up? Did other people stay out?

No, I mean, I'm sure other people did. I was just there with one other couple and they were also kind of beat from the long day. I see. What was the occasion? Why did you go? The occasion was Sean's girlfriend's birthday, like a birthday trip. And so it was like a two of four of us, two couples hanging out a couple. And you, I forgot you, I'll be tall left you and you have a new girlfriend, right?

Yeah. Sherry. Yeah. She works in Vegas. So it's, she hooked us up completely. That's amazing. Yeah. Now, she was the one who actually gave me monkey poxed three weeks ago, if you remember.

Right. She gave you the vaccine and the antidote, which is to have it. No. Maxine, her twin sister gave me the vaccine. Yeah. And Sherry gave me the vaccine. Yeah. So yeah.

And then I just felt like crap for the weekend. And now as I start to get better, I still have a very sore throat. I can't get rid of this, this feeling in my throat that it's, it's covered in positive. Yeah. Oh no. God, I'm still testing positive for sure. But I just wish it didn't hurt to swallow. For sure.

Yeah. Long COVID is when it lasts more than four days. I'm fucked basically. But I can't remember the last time I had a sore throat, let alone when that lasted a week. Yeah. So you like can't, it hurts to swallow. It hurts to swallow, which you do, you know, thousands of times a day and you don't really think about it until it hurts to swallow.

Does it hurt to be like, is, if you're, does it hurt at rest? If you're just sitting there. If I don't, at first it did. Like the first few nights, I was like, it's already dry and I know if I swallow, it's worse. Now it's like that part is over, but when I swallow, it's as if there's like a slice on the inside of my throat and it's like acid coming through every time. So that has not.

So Ben recommended this to me, the sore throat spray. I don't, I've never done a spray before. Yeah. Have you ever done a nasal spray? Yeah. I think I, like that's the, I think the affrin. Yeah. Where you just, I used to do that when I had a cold.

Streeter put me on that tip actually. When we, because we would go on tour, we would get sick on like night one. We had three or four more days. Instantly sick. Always. Yeah. Without fail. I was big on that affrin tip.

It really helps. And it is a tip. You're supposed to stick it in your nose. I've never done that. I've never done this throat spray. I'm hoping to God it tastes like the, anyway, I thought I'd do it on the podcast so we could discuss it, but I'm hoping that it's, it has that same flavor as a cough drop.

You know, like when a cough drop is melting in you and you're just like, Ooh. It gives me some instant mentholy relief. I feel like it will. I'm hoping it's just that concentrated into a spray. Right. Cause what you wouldn't want is it for it to be like. A brine.

Yeah. You don't like. You don't like gum. You don't like mint. You wouldn't like, would you spray like binocca in your mouth? Never used binocca. Yeah. You never used binocca?

Never used binocca. Yeah. I don't even like gum. I don't even like listerine strips. We just got a, some binocca for the house. Really? But the dog, the dog eats the leash sometimes. And what you're supposed to do is like spray his mouth with binocca.

He doesn't like it. Then you spray the leash like the part that he always eats with the binocca. So he doesn't eat the leash. Yeah. Yeah. So he stops doing that. But I was curious. I almost, I almost sprayed some in my mouth.

Yeah. Cause it's been amazing. I had binocca. Like I remember the nineties had spray deodorant. They had to like spray your hair. It was a major aerosol era. Yeah. We don't really do that anymore.

An era de sol. Nice. Okay. So here we go. Don't do this throat. And it's, I guess it's like habit four, but you're not supposed to do this very often. Right. That's what they said about affrin too.

Right. Yeah. I'm kind of afraid to like it at this point. I'm forgetting it. Yeah. I think you're going to be fine. I'll do the Jim Carrey. No.

Yeah. You're putting it down. Let's go to a break 15 minutes early. Come back. We never mentioned it. Sherry actually pranked my ass. He went Lysol in here. You wench.

I love her to death. All right. Right. She's good. First pump. First few pumps. Nothing came out. There's a lot of pressure.

You think it's one of those things where I have to open it and take off that and then put it back on. You have a trash can. Just spray it a couple of times into the trash can get that nice mist so you don't, so you're not getting an ugly spurt in your mouth. Sherry, Jake's asking if I can spray this at you. Oh my God. What side of the room is she on?

That's a fucking goof situation. Let's see here. This is toxic for you guys. Okay. We got the spray. We got the spray ready. Okay. Yeah.

He's wincing, folks. He doesn't like it. You look like my dog when he had the Panaca. You're crying. You think I swallow or just let it? I think you swallow it because I think it has to cool on the way down. I think it's got a, oh my God. It is like the concentrated.

I'm numb, I'm basically. My tongue is numb. Yeah, I guess that's how, that's what makes it stop hurting, right? It's just, don't wash it down. You got to let it coat. It's got to coat the throat. It feels like somebody novice injected it. You can't talk.

My tongue, I can't talk. What a dumb thing to do before we have a podcast. We should have saved this for the end. You can't speak. You have a fat tongue. It's absolutely. This is crazy. It feels like, oh my God.

So it has benzocaine, which I guess is what they put on your gums like before they inject it. Oh yeah. To make it numb. Right. It's incredibly numbing. This is crazy. This is going to be so old. Ben's a drug dealer for giving that to you.

Ben is actually short for benzocaine now. Whoa, benzocaine shorts. This is so bizarre. This is so weird. Like, it's a. Yeah, you're chewing on nothing. You're just like smacking your lips. It's like the numbness, but it's just a spray.

So it's like a little bit here is numb a little bit under my tongue. Yeah, your lip. Throw out. Yeah. Yeah. It's like I got smoothie all over me, but instead of smoothie, it's numb. Does it feel. I don't know if this is good.

Does it. Well, does the throat hurt? I guess it does hurt less. You know, I didn't think I. I didn't directly aim it at where I thought the sores were. It was just like a general blast. You kind of put it on like it was binocca instead of. You should try one more time and aim it at the source.

You're rather is already numb. What do you have to lose? I don't even know. Let's go one more time at the source. Otherwise you don't even know if it works. Yeah, it's got to go towards the source. Over the course of the podcast, you convinced me to drink this entire thing. I really think you should have a shot.

That way it goes all the way through. It's just playing in a courtroom after you're after you're dead. I'm on trial. I didn't know it would kill him. Right. The girl from Plainville. I think I'm not supposed to do multiple sprays and I've already done like three or four. No, you haven't.

You can handle it. You're a big boy. I dumped you. I'm freaking out. Look at the directions. Does it say how much you're supposed to have? Don't use. What the hell?

It says don't use. It's just sculling crossbones on this thing. The fuck? Bleach? There's no way. That poison? Sherry. Sherry.

You card. Just a supervised use. I guess you're the supervisor. I'm watching. I'm right here. One more. Come on. Here we go.

One time. All the way down the throat, bud. There he goes. Good boy. Good boy. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. I didn't want that. Oh, lord. Wow. I was thinking how hard it must be to have like a two year old kid with a sore throat because they have no idea what the hell is going on. They must think like. And they don't want the medicine.

You're doing it to them. Yeah. They really don't want the medicine. Yeah. That's kind of how it is with the dog too. Yeah, you have to trick it. Yeah. We're putting like ear medicine in him a couple weeks ago.

It's just like, it was torture and then he would get it in and then just like run away from us. Like we don't want to do it either, man. You're the one with a fucking yeast infection. One of my friends who has a kid. Yeah. Sonum. Thonum.

Said that like his three year old just refused to drink this cough syrup. And so they literally had to like water board him, like hold him down, hold his nose, open his mouth and pour the medicine. Oh my God. Yeah. What else do you do? And now like the kid is afraid of them a little bit. Like it's like, all right, I'll do it, but just don't hold my nose.

Oh my God. It's so sad. Psychological torture just to get him to take a robitussin. Yeah. Like in that case, what's like, what if, what if like you say, if you drink this, I'll take you to Disney World. And then they don't. They're like, and then you don't.

It's like, I could, I can't really take you to Disney World every time you take medicine. You get that, right? Yeah. They can't, they can't hold a grudge when they're like 12. You'd be like, yeah, I lied to you to get you to take medicine. Yeah. Now that you're old enough to understand. Yeah.

Right. Is that better? Is that ultimately better than water boarding them? I would argue, yes. I think if I had a kid, I would bribe them to do stuff and then take it back. Daddy got you again, didn't he? Yeah. That's the problem.

Yeah. Because now they can't trust daddy. Every once in a while, we just go to Disney World randomly, you know? That's cool. Just all these fucking mind games. I also heard a story recently where a dad lied to his kids saying that they were going to go fishing, but they were actually going to Disneyland. So like as they were driving to Disneyland, he's like, oh no, I forgot the fishing poles.

I guess we got to go to Disneyland, but they were so dead set on going fishing that they started crying. I don't want to go to Disneyland. I thought we were going fishing. So funny. God. You promised me a really cheap dinghy and a fucking pole, and now you have to pay $700 and I don't want to be here anymore.

Kids have long memories, too. That's not going anywhere. Yeah. You'll remember that forever. Oh my God. What a unique, a weird moment for us to, this is our first podcast where I can't feel my tongue slash throat. I guess this is better.

Yeah. The throat feels better. Yeah. And that I can't feel it. Yeah. There you go. I think that's the point. I think you just basically keep on numbing your throat until it naturally goes away.

It naturally goes away. Yeah. So it's like. That's what all medicine is really. The weird feeling is better than the pain feeling. Yeah. It just hides it. It blocks it.

Okay. We need to take a break, I think. I need to pause and sort of rinse my mouth. Yeah. Don't rinse. In fact, two more pumps, two more pumps during this, during the break. We'll call it a sprake or a spray break. Nice.

Okay. We'll be back after these messages with some questions and answers. I should say this as if I were you. Two very wise guys answering questions, trying to help people out of their sticky situations. I'm Amir. I'm Josh. I'll be right back. Thank you to Helix Sleep for sponsoring this episode of our show.

Hell yes. Thank you for making the sleep test, the sleep exam, and letting me ace it and become the doctor of the mattress. Yes, sir. Yeah. So Helix makes a really great mattress line and you take a little sleep quiz to see what mattress is right for you. Yeah, right.

It's been bragging about completing this two minute, honestly, like Buzzfeed light quiz. I don't how you sleep for the better part of a decade. Excuse me. I do not brag. I don't brag about completing it. I brag about acing it ass. Because you got the mattress and it was great or? Yeah.

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Sleep well. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show. Wow. Years and years and years we've been ranting and raving about Squarespace because it's the best way for dummies like me and potentially you that don't necessarily know how to code or design to create a professional looking website. So if you're building an online portfolio for yourself or a loved one or you want to sell stuff online, you can do an online store.

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Squarespace. And we're back. Jake, do you have any? Let's do it. Mom, I'm coming. Gross. Mucinex Throat Spray. Yeah, I was going to say I don't want to give a specific brand our endorsement, but Mucinex

specifically the Instaseuth sort of throat and pain relief. I bet there's other options too. There's the generic kind. You just got to get that that Benzacane slash menthol. Are you are you a convert because you didn't like it at first? You cry. Now I can't imagine living my life. That was 20 minutes ago.

Now I'm going to spray this on it. He said it was habit forming. Anything you don't want to feel, share your breaking up with you, you spray on your heart. It's the Homer Simpson version, just like spraying it on things around the house that doesn't work. Oh, yeah, this gate is a little creaky. Thank you, Mucinex Spray. So yeah, that's my advice.

I'm sure some people out there are dealing with COVID. I mean, this is the season after all. People are heading indoors. So yeah, it's something to consider. It's going to be interesting. What do you think about Trump's candidacy for president? Because he recently announced. Yeah.

I kind of look forward to the Republican primary more than like the election now, just because I want to see in fighting within the Republicans of like Ron versus Trump. Yeah. This is kind of the fun part of politics where we get to watch a little bit of a car wreck from afar. Right. But when it's the general election, when it's all on the line, then I'll be stressed. But right now it is kind of funny to watch like, yeah, the infighting is great.

I just don't understand how. Yeah. Now, one should have ever told him he was good at nicknames because now he's gotten a little too big for his britches. Yeah. They're not his winners. That one's a long one. De-sanctimonious.

Even I don't really understand what sanctimonious means. I can't imagine the supporters fully get it. Is de-sanctimonious a word too? I guess it must be. Yeah, but I don't. I can't see a world where after like winning 60 to 40, either DeSantis or Trump, then like fully supports the other one in their candidacy for president. Yeah, that'd be nice.

They'll be like, they'll be like, no, fuck that guy. Don't vote for him. And then that'll just be the tip of the whatever necessary to hopefully win a eke out another very small election in 2024. Yeah. God damn. I don't know. It's living in a country, well, I guess it's good that we have elections, but every few

years it's just the stress gets so high. It's not that fun. Did you see New York is like very much trending red, like all the voting versus 2020 has like shifted to the right? I did see that. But then I also was reading that like we flipped more seats than any other like state seats than in any other state. Oh, really?

But I just heard that on the radio, so I don't actually understand how that works. But yeah, New York, New York doesn't look good. A lot of districts move in red. Yeah. Do you sense that when you like drive up state that you're like in Trump country? It always felt a little bit like that. I think you sense it more like driving into Long Island and stuff. God's country.

Yeah. All right, let's see here. We got some non-political cues from people that we should probably answer. Yeah. Oh, actually, this one's not too dissimilar. Actually, I'm going to send it to you to read so I can relax my already numb ass throat. Okay. This one is about moving abroad.

I love it. I'll put it in the chat for you. I appreciate that. Okay. While I fucking absolutely house slash guzzle another shot and a half of this. Just put it in the shot class. Consume more and it will soothe all the way down. Actually, if you put some of it in rectally, excuse me, if you put some of it in rectally,

the two will meet in the middle from the throat to the anus and you'll have the full soothe effect in the whole body. I'll have what's known as a blind kidney. You haven't put anything in the chat yet. Yeah, it's not letting me copy and paste. I emailed it to you. It's called Should I Move Abroad. Okay.

Let's just pull her up. Okay. Just see about that. Yeah. So this person will call them Ron. That's cool. Ron DeSanctimonius. Hey, Jake and Amir.

I've spent the last five years in Chicago, but I spent the first 20 years of my life living in various countries throughout Eastern Europe and Asia due to my mom's job. While I love my life in Chicago, I've always felt that sometime in the future I'd like to move back overseas for a couple of years and the company I work for has told me that I would be located to our international offices for a few years if I'd like. I've been dating my current girlfriend for two years and I feel like she's the one. We get along great, she's incredibly smart and fun, and all of my friends agree that she is the perfect woman for me.

However, she has told me outright that she would never be interested in living outside of the country and tends to get sad when I bring up my dreams of moving to Europe, Korea or South America, even if I assure her that I'd want to move back to Chicago within three or four years. I get that love is compromise and all, but it's kind of killing me to realize that I won't ever live outside of the country again if I stay with her. Do you think I should abandon my plan of living overseas again? Do I try to persuade my girlfriend to join me for a year at the risk of her resenting

me or pressuring her to move, or do I prioritize my dreams at the expense of an otherwise fantastic relationship? Any advice is appreciated, much love. If a European wants to live abroad, is that just what he calls it when he moves to America? Like if a guy from Spain is living in Detroit, is he living abroad or is that just our word for living in Europe? I think we would say this Spaniard is living abroad in Detroit, but I don't know what they say in Spain.

And that's your problem because you have never lived there. That's what I'm saying. I don't think it's my problem. You have such a myopic worldview that you also don't know. You also don't know. So I don't care to learn. Don't try to make this a teaching moment when you don't know either. I feel like you're belittling being a man about the world.

No, I don't. I absolutely do not. I almost take pride in the fact that I don't want to travel. Everything I have is here. I feel like you're trying to do some kind of got you thing to me, but you look worse. I feel that. When all is said and done. Yeah, you should.

I'm weak. I'm absolutely fatigued. And you're numb, too. You have COVID, so try not to be so hateful while you have it. I have long and short COVID, and that's the long and short of it. Nice. Nice. Also, this guy's already lived.

He said he's already lived in Eastern Europe and Asia. Yeah. So what's the what's the wanderlust about? He's been there and done that. Do you think? Well, it's not like you live there when when his mom was there, too. So like living somewhere abroad on your own. That's different.

Yeah. Did you say do I think I'll ever live abroad? Yeah. I think I like to imagine some kind of extended stays overseas. Like I'd love to live for I live in like London for a month or two. Yeah. That'd be really fun. But not like I'm packing up my house and getting a place and taxes here.

Yeah. I don't think I would. Yeah. I don't think you can handle that either. It's not what that is about. I think it's probably a little tough. Yeah. You know what I mean?

It's tough. It would be tough for me to leave my whole entire family who's all based on the East Coast. And I wouldn't want to do that. And that's the reason that I wouldn't want to live abroad. But like I don't know what you think is so bad about that. You're saying I couldn't handle it. I don't think you get tough.

I don't think you get that. Yeah. What is that? Right. I am a tough guy. I am a tough guy. Not that tough. I wonder.

Yeah. I think it's pretty tough that I'm standing up for myself right now. I'm not saying that I would move to... You know what, I'll move to Europe to just prove you wrong. How's that? And then it won't even be a convenient English speaker. I'm moving to Bathelona. Wow.

I love that. I'm going to move to Latvia. Just to fucking one up you. How's that? And you know, his girlfriend for two years, he thinks she's the one. It seems like moving to Europe is a clean start style thing. Not a continue my relationship style thing. Well, I mean, if she's on board, I think that's a really magical little dream moment.

You know, like me and my girlfriend are going to go and like have our overseas experience. I think that sounds awesome. I honestly feel like if your dream is a non-starter for her, then the relationship isn't actually as good as you think it is. So that's kind of like... I don't know. I guess not like grounds for dismissal fully, but I think you could just be like, I really want to do it.

And if you won't do it, then I... Well, maybe that's kind of like... Ultimatum-y. Yeah. I think you just... You got to go for your dreams. I'm a big fan of going for your dreams. I feel like you only live one once, right?

Right. That is the same. You didn't write, I feel like you only live once. Don't say I feel as if you came up with it. I feel like YOLO. Yeah. YOLO is a saying. You do only live once.

I think the music went to your brain. And now I feel light and live, actually. Your frontal lobes are numb as well. You know what I'm thinking now? You know about Paxilvid, the drug that kind of masks all of your COVID symptoms and then sort of gives you a metallic feeling in your mouth. But if you take it quick enough, then all your symptoms go away and then there's a strong chance that they just come back when you're done with the Paxilvid.

Oh, no. I didn't know anything about that. Yeah. It's kind of like mucinex before your entire body. Body. Yeah. My friend took it and I called him a cheater. I said, you're just masking the symptoms of COVID.

Why don't you go through it like an adult? And now I'm thinking like, I'm no better than him. Like I was trolling this teenager. Right. Basically calling him a coward ass. And now look at me. I'm on the mucinex tip. Like we're all just numb and shit.

You do a lot of projection because you were calling me a coward for not living abroad. You're calling this kid a coward for taking medicine. That's not even. Yeah. That's taking control of his medical journey. That's important. Right. And now it's like.

Why don't you just? Why am I so quick to judge? I wonder. And so are you, by the way. I look to judge you, but it's only because you have a long standing reputation of being a little shit. Yeah. So you always like err on the side of thinking I'm kind of a little weakling troll kind of

guy. Like I wouldn't give you the benefit of the doubt because you haven't earned that. Yeah. You've really let me down on numerous occasions. That makes sense. I wonder if you'd give me the benefit of the gout. Do you have any idea how much my joints hurt from this fucking poison ass throat? Why don't you spray that on your knees and elbows actually?

I think that'll help. I wonder if it would numb the skin. Spray it on your finger and see if it numbs the skin. It's a good question. It should, right? Yeah. All right. It's on my pinky.

Go ahead. I want to put it on an important finger. Yeah. Holy shit. My entire hand is numb. I can't fucking fap today. I wasn't even doing no nut November yet. I was getting myself a break.

I do no nut November, but only the last week. How many doses do you think are in this thing? It says it at the bottom. How many sprays? I'll guess 88. It's a good guess, but it's 500. Wow. That's a lot.

That's a good value. Thank you. That's a really good value. This was a 900. What do you think this guy should do about his dream and his girlfriend? Yeah. Fucking go to where does he want to go? South Korea or some shit?

Yeah. I think you got to go. What are you not going to go? I think you go. Because the thing is like it'll breed resentment if you stay. But right now also you're, I feel like you're being like the only reason I'm not living abroad is my girlfriend. She doesn't want me to go.

But like, why don't you just treat that as a non-factor? Because maybe she's like, you know, he's not actually going to do it or something. So like, get started, see how possible it is and how tantalizing it is and how much you want to do it. And then you can be like, Hey, I looked into this. I think I'm going to do X, Y and Z to get over and get abroad. Yeah. Do you want to come?

I really want you to come with me. And then she says, if she says no, then there you go. But if she says yes, then it'll be good. And maybe she'll be more enticed to go if you have like laid a little bit of ground work. And it's a tough decision and it takes courage, but like, so does this shit. Like, we're all doing like crazy shit right now. Don't try it. Like, don't insert yourself into the question, right?

Oh my God, are you spraying more? I kind of started feeling it wane and like, I know I'm like chasing that, you know, like yeah, that first high. Yeah. Now it's just like, it's the tingly before, you know, that like, yeah, doesn't cocaine like all the cane, benzo cane, cocaine. I don't know. I guess maybe some stuff.

Don't they like put, they used to put like cocaine on stuff to like, you know, there. It's the same shit, right? I don't think that's the same shit. But yeah, there's that feeling, I guess, when you put it on your gums. Do you think this is cool? Like, if you saw me at a club, would you be like, that guy knows what's going on? Yeah, like licking your, the inside of the bottom of your lip like that? No, I think that would be really off putting for a lot of people.

We need to take a break just because it is starting to sort of spread. But I wanted to dig into my, I'm starting to do chewing tobacco. I wanted to talk to you about that after, after the messages. I feel like you lay off your throat because it's obvious. It's obvious. It's a lot. You're putting yourself through the ringer. Bub.

Exactly. And when the glass and it goes through you. Why don't you go, why don't you go on a vacation or something? I think I need to. I think Sherry just need to get the fuck out of dodge. You're lashing out at people. You're, you're not being good to yourself. You're addicted to mucinex.

Things are falling apart. That's not even Thanksgiving yet. The last time you went away, you got COVID. So, yeah, I don't know. Now I'm immune though. All right, let's take another break and come back and answer more questions after these messages. Bye.

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Thank you stamps.com for sponsoring this show. Thank you to Aura Frames for sponsoring this headgum podcast. You know, Aura Frames is sponsoring not just this episode, but the entire headgum network, Jake. Wow. That's correct. I mean, this might be the Goat Father's Day gift. I think it actually is.

Yeah. Yeah, not just Father's Day, but if for any not so tech savvy family member that you need a gift for soon, these digital photo frames might be the best of all time. For me personally, these things are perfect. I'll tell you why. As you know, I am expecting my first child. We got one for Jill's parents. Oh, wow.

We got one for Jill's grandma. Holy smokes. We got one for my parents. So there are three of these bad boys in our family right now, but they're great. Really easy way to like stay in touch with your family. You can upload as many photos as you want directly into my parents kitchen. It's really nice. Oh, that's cool.

So you take a photo of anything, perhaps a baby, and then it goes to their digital photo frame. Yeah. This is actually how we told Jill's grandma she was pregnant. We got her the aura frame. We plugged it in. Jill's grandma was pregnant. Really nice asshole.

This was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife, and you're trying to make a joke of it. I was just being goofy a little bit like, this is how I told my grandma she was pregnant. Yeah. Like she misheard it or something like that, or the way you said it was kind of like could go either way. By the way, Jill's grandma is pregnant. Oh my God.

Jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant. It's pretty cool. And you told me with a digital photo frame? Holy smokes. And we let her know with an aura. Yeah. Thank you. The aura announcement.

So you can instantly frame photos from any device anywhere and invite the whole family in on the fun through the aura app. Add me to your aura app. I'd love to upload just a picture of me like at a pool or something. That could be funny. Yeah. Like your banana or your dog alongside pictures of my daughter. Yeah.

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Thank you, aura. To the head gum podcast you were listening to and we're back. Yes, we are. One last question to rule them all. Why not? And then I really have to go back to the hospital. Yeah, I think so. We got another email from a Berkeley law student.

How cool is that? Whoa. Didn't you go to Berkeley and your mom wanted you to be a lawyer? So it's almost like this person is, like your mom would be more, forgive me for being blunt, but she would be more proud of them than you, right? I mean, probably, but that's this person is, he has questions for me. So it's almost like she should really be like, oh, look at, look at this guy. But you host a silly advice show.

So it's kind of like, but yeah, I'm saying like. You're like a radio DJ and this, this person's like a lawyer, which is kind of interesting. Let's hear what the question is. Yeah. Can you read it for us? Oh yeah, of course. Of absolute course. Let me just pull it up.

I have it right here. It's returned to a former lover, is it? Yes, exactly. Okay. So let's call this person Amir Shalom. Nice. Oh, wow. Look, since Amir is clearly a sucker for emails from Berkeley students, I figured I would

give this a shot. Wow. So they're smart too. I'm a grad student and had been pretty consistently hooking up with one of my classmates since the beginning of the semester until it ended last week. The relationship was complicated. We both liked each other, but agreed that it wasn't a great long-term fit. There was a relationshipy, cutesy vibe to our situation, but I don't think either of

us would describe it as a relationship. We went from non-exclusive to exclusive to non-exclusive again before ending things last week. Without going into details, the breakup was messy. We are both sad, but my feelings got hurt worse. Parentheses, she would tell you the same, even though I'm the one who initiated ending it. Your guy's recent advice about trusting yourself during a breakup has been super helpful and

I'm confident I'm not going to go crawling back to her anytime soon. But I'll be honest. This was the best sex I've ever had in my life. Like so so so good. The kind where we're both lying there after like holy shit, that was amazing. I used to think that just happened in movies. So here's my question. Would it be a terrible idea for us to hook up again in a few months after winter break?

We will have gone a while without seeing or talking to each other and I think it's likely that we'll both beat down. Even if it's a terrible idea, is there a way to do it that lets us get nasty without feelings getting involved again and eventually restarting the break up slash sadness cycle? I guess I want to have my cake and eat hers too. Jesus. Jesus. Appreciate your help and go bears.

Go bears indeed. Yeah. It seems like he misses the sex most of all. Right. Is there a possibility that he's just good at sex now and because once you've reached this level of being good, maybe the majority of your partners will be good at sex now. So it's not like you have to go backwards. You can still go forward and find out with somebody else.

Yeah. It sounds like you had like one of two things going for this relationship. The sex was really, really good. But then the emotional connection wasn't really there and it sounds like she hurt you. So I think the goal would be to not get hung up in that orbit and go forward searching for good sex and good relationship. Right. That's the dream, that duo and that's out there and it's possible.

But it just speaks to how good sex is because sex like time wise is like a small slice of a small slice of a relationship. Yeah. It's good. It can outdo the bad 99.9% of the time where you're being like a normal and emotionally abused person. Not that he's been abused, but just like right, unfulfilled, but it's like, yeah, but that one slice is so good that it's worth all the other shit, but maybe it's not.

And sometimes sex feels better when you actually don't like the person. Oh, interesting. That used to be fun too, but I think it feels, I think it feels the best when you do care about the person. So that's what you really need. So there's a world where, I mean, it seems like an eligible bachelor, I mean, he's writing funny emails, he goes to Berkeley, he's a law student, he's everything that my mom wants me to be and he's probably a lot younger than me because he's in law school.

Right. Graduating in grad school in 2024. I wonder if Avi Tal could date him because that would kind of work in its role. I didn't mean Sherry could double. Exactly. Exactly. But Sherry is old enough to be this fucker's mom. Actually she does have a lot of kids, so it's borderline in play.

Really? Yeah. There are nine kittens sort of littered about town. What? Is that what she calls them? For the sake of the story, yes. I would never do that. Nine kittens littered about town.

Ooh, traipsing about. He's right now. She has a brood. She had a litter. What was I going to say? Oh yeah, is it possible that being a law student is cooler than being a lawyer? I guess it's probably cooler than being some lawyers. Yeah.

Because if you're a lawyer, there's almost a negative stigma attached to that. Being a law student is almost like kind of like can be misconstrued or positively construed as like, you know, you're young and ready to take on the world. It's more like idealistic and exciting. Bright eyed. You're going to go out there and win a big civil case like Aaron Brockovich. Yeah. And then it's like, I'm a lawyer.

I actually draft the fine print for pharmaceutical companies so that they can print ads. We're waiting. We're returning. We're trading with the other attorneys. We were so worked. And I'm just up to my ears. My dad's a tax lawyer. My dad is a tax lawyer.

Okay. Yeah. That's weird. And the type of shit that we're like making fun of, that actually sounds like some emails that I've seen him send. Like the red line is attached and that's like, I feel like we're being a little bit catty. Sorry for bringing back the kitten thing, but I feel like we're being a bit catty and a bit tacky.

And I beg you to stand down because you're talking about my dad. Well, I guess. I mean, I was talking about lawyers in general. I wasn't even thinking about your dad. Now we're all thinking about your dad because you brought it up like that. So well, cool. Yeah. Yeah.

I hope people are thinking about him with reverence and respect because he makes a lot of cash and that cash comes to me. Okay. And I'd really hate for anything to stand in the way of that like disrespect to my dad. So you're saying he would, I don't know how much support he still provides for you financially. Everything. I'm going to hold on to our life. I was going to say hopefully not that much because yeah, no, we're already at work.

Clothes I'm wearing today, pictures Frank behind me. He got me a gift card saying there's a world where this LaCroix that I'm drinking. I have his credit card link to my Amazon Prime account and my Amazon fresh account. Honestly, pick up any fucking thing in this room. This pen daddy. This little figurine. This daddy. Okay.

What is that? It's a Dungeons and Dragons mini that I got on Hero Forge and my dad's credit card is linked to that account. So I really think you should treat him with a little bit more respect. I treat him with respect. I think you. Lest I get cut off. Yeah.

It's you that I don't respect anymore because you make your own money. You're afraid to like touch it or something or it's all part of like a different family system. He gets all the money and then he like allots it to you and your siblings. I don't really know what's going on there. I funnel my money that I earn from head gum and Patreon to my secret family that I have in Duluth. What don't you understand about that?

And then you get money from your father. My dad to take care of me here. Right. You really don't get it. I think the sad thing is I do. Okay. So I mean the advice for this guy. So obviously it's keep calm and chive on.

Yeah. I think that's fair. I don't. I think if you're if you basically just end this relationship and you're already thinking about when you could have no strings attached sex, it actually sounds like you're still a little bit caught up in the relationship. Yeah. So you kind of shouldn't even be thinking about that yet.

I think you should just focus on yourself and focus on moving on and focus on being single and maybe eventually finding somebody that's not this person because the sex will be good and the connection will be better. Yeah. All right. Thank you to y'all for listening. Thank you to y'all for writing in. We need questions.

Before you show it, gmail.com. That is correct. We're running low on theme songs and questions now that were organized. So now's your best bet to have us answer your dilemmas and listen to your theme songs. We basically unsubscribe from all of our spam so we can finally read questions. So now is the perfect time. That's right. And we're also making videos on our Patreon every week, patreon.com slash J.A.

Jop. Next week, you're coming to LA, right? We're going to be able to record in the same room. That's right. We'll be recording together on Monday and or Tuesday. As I hawk, cough, sneeze, and fart into the same room as you. I wonder if I'll be safe by then. All of your bodily functions.

This should be fine. All right. Cool. So we'll see you then. Thank you for listening, everybody. Let's play that Eric Novak Diddy on our way out. Yes, please. What was it?

Bad Magic? Bad? I'm not sure. Yes, Eric from Bad Magic. See you guys soon, everybody. Bye. Bye. That was a hit gum original.