If I Were You - 70: Casey's Movie

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

In this episode, fellow Headgum friend Casey Donahue joins us to play Jake or Amir and discuss his feature film! Donate to the Kickstarter here!Advertise on Segments via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HITGUM original. Wow, Blumentveld, you were pumping those arms. Now let's meet you two pathetic hoes Seconds Wow, Blumenfeld, you are pumping those arms. Are your shoulders okay? Is the rotator cuff good? I've never seen you have that much energy before. They were just pumping up and down. I felt like a pop in my labrum. I heard the pop over the music. My shoulder and then on my left, like my shoulder blade, I think something got strained. I saw you wince a lot.

You didn't stop. I felt a tear and then I heard a pop and like the room shook, it was so loud. God damn it. Right. It wasn't even a weighted anything. It was like just, it was just muscle. I was scared of the first pump.

It happened right away. It's coming out of my fucking skin, the blood is. How is that even possible? I'm so porous. It's so dislocated. And in front of Casey, no less. That's right, we have a guest. Happens all the time, honestly.

He's seen you around the office. Yeah, Casey's used to it. Of course. Casey, head gum producer, editor, engineer extraordinaire, is on our program today. Thanks for being here, Casey. Thanks for having me, guys. I'm usually behind the desk,

in the room with you for this show. That's right. This time you're guest starring Wow Fuck it man. You're starring huge and I'm engineering. Oh really? Yeah, so we're sort of switching in a way What can possibly go wrong? I feel like I trained you well or at least you watched me do it enough I hit the record button, but now there's like a Square button I can tap to stop and my shoulder hurts a lot so I'm not really sure like I'm passing in and out of consciousness

when or how to do that Casey you're making a movie so we wanted to have you on to talk about that that's right I'm making a feature film, my first feature film ever. Wow. I've made a bunch of shorts, I've made hundreds of podcasts at this point. And it's time to make the big feature. Is feature a specific length of time or is it just the amount of energy you put into it?

Is it like an objective number? I believe the objective number, at least for like film festivals, is 60 minutes constitutes a feature film, but. An hour. Usually in a movie theater it's like 90 minutes plus. Yeah. So.

Yeah. How long do you think your movie is gonna be? We're looking at that 90ish minute range, you know? That's good. And are we talking film festivals? Are you going to be submitting it places? We're gonna be submitting it to all the festivals. Sundance, Tribeca. Ooh.

And the rest. The big two and the rest. And all the rest, Which we appreciate equally. Yeah. Do you have a dream? Do you have a, which film festival? Maybe a can, that wouldn't be bad. I wouldn't mind going.

I mean that. I mean, God damn, a can? Yeah, God damn a can. That's what we've been saying in all the pre-production meetings. I wouldn't hate a POM d'Or for donating to the Kickstarter. I don't think if we won a POM to OR,

I don't think you would get that award because you donated to the Kickstarter. But you actually didn't do your donating. But we are having you on the podcast. Yeah. So that- Yeah, so you're spreading the word. That 48 minute standing ovation

at the Venice Film Festival That's for the three of us. Yeah Yeah And maybe I'll add a tear to the Kickstarter where if we do win a major award at a film festival, I will Thank you in the speech. That's awesome. If we if we get it, that's what that's gonna be like I don't know how much to set that at. The Jake and Amir tier. Yeah. And we'll start out.

It's just for you guys. Yeah. All right, real quick, what's the movie called and how do people donate to it? The movie is called My Love for You is Deep, but the Devil Loves Me Deeper. It's a horror-esque movie, art house horror. You can learn all about it at casymakesmovies.com.

You go there, it'll take you to the Kickstarter. You'll see a little video. You'll see a bunch of, you know, the rundown of everything. But I'm happy to talk more about it as we go. Amir and I read the script, so we can let everybody know that it's actually good. I thought it was captivating.

It was a page-turner. I thought it was scintillating. It was a page-turner. It's a little sexy. Are you excited to direct some sex scenes? Look at this little fucking perv. That's why you wrote the movie, so you can see a nip. Ha!

Legally. the movie so you can see it legally. Yeah, yeah, I'm really excited to get in there and direct some sex scenes. Fucking knew it. Yeah, I fucking knew it. Now I'm glad you guys can confirm that the movie is good or the script is good. The movie itself will also be good.

That's my promise to everyone. Wow. Is it casted yet? Well a good script is the, the movie itself will also be good. That's my promise to everyone. Wow. Is it casted yet? Well a good script is the first step. Can be in a mere audition for anything. There were a couple guys in those sex scenes that I'd be down. Yeah those were the main characters though.

So you probably won't be playing that. No I think there's a one night stand in there. There's definitely a cameo. Are there any castings that you can, as There's definitely a cameo. A cameo. A cameo. As I'm talking about it. Nice. You just lost the role.

Really? Are there any casting decisions you can share already or is it all secret? We're still working on casting a few roles but I think the one that I can absolutely say is Mitch from the Doughboys will be in the movie. Holy shit. Wow.

That's awesome. Holy smokes. There's a role for Mitch. It's an explosive role, I would say. Okay. An exciting role. Yeah. That's good. Wow. That's great. Yeah. And there's also some other

headgum talent behind the scenes. You're producing it with Anya, is that correct? Anya is one of my producers on the movie. Anya Zero herself. Anya is one of my producers on the movie, you know, we'd on your zero herself Anya zero You know, we've done so much at head gum together and I was like I got him I wrote this movie I want to make it I've been producing with Anya for this is going on our fourth year working together Wow, and there's there's really no one else. I would want to Be producing with that That's nice.

She's truly the best in the biz. Oh yeah. Great. So if nothing else happens from Head Gums, at least we brought you and Anya together. So that could be our lasting legacy. Yeah, if this is Head Gums, this is the end of the line. If it's done for only one thing, at least we brought Casey and I. The Tom DeOrr winning film produced by Casey and I.

That's right. Yes, exactly. Okay, but this is Segments, a segmented podcast, and we thought since we have a guest here. Wait, where's the Kickstarter located? Just in case people wanna give. We can actually play a game. Don't we have to say where they could do that?

Jake, that's right, instead of Jake and Amir. Now people wanna give money to Casey's movie. This is why he came on the show. If people are like, I wanna give money, where do they go? I think this is gonna be kind of fun. They're not gonna be able to do it. They might have been sold on the fence.

To do it? Yeah, they need, where do they go to give? I think it was like a a, it was like a website or something. Okay, here we go, ready? He didn't say it. What? He did say it.

casymakesmovies.com, go to casymakesmovies.com. Okay. Thank you. Oh, and also just real quick, this is honestly a one in 10,000 shot. It won't happen, but I would feel remiss if we didn't at least play the game where I count to three and then all three of us guess a number between one and 100,

hoping to God that it matches up. Jake and I have played this about 500 times in the last few weeks, so we've gotten it four. We've gotten it four times. So I'm gonna say one, two, three, and then think of a number between one and 100. We're all gonna say it. We've never played it three way before. Very interesting.

Okay. And I should stress, this is not the game we set out to play, but we're gonna try it for a few guesses just to see if we can make magic happen. We heard the word game, and we just have to do it. Yeah. Okay, ready? Yeah, ready.

One, two, three. Yeah. Okay, ready? Yeah, ready. One, two, three. 88. 45. Okay. Should we try again? That wasn't it. But that's, yeah, honestly has to be expected. We're not trying to find like,

how to move closer to a number. You just have to start over again. Yeah, starting over. Yep. One through 100. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, one, two, three, six, 12. Four. Pretty close grouping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, one, two, three, six, 12.

Four. That's pretty close grouping. Okay, do you wanna? Let's do one more, maybe Casey. Casey, count us in. Okay. One, two, three, 15. 80, 80.

51. What did you say, Jake? I said 88. Yeah, oh, that's what Casey said first. But Amir said 51 and I said 15, so we're kind of close. Yeah, that's fascinating Casey said first. But Amir said 51 and I said 15, so we're kind of close. Yeah, that's fascinating. You can imagine how excited we were

when me and Jake actually got this once. Yeah. Yeah, that's insane. It only took us like 100 times or something. Yeah. Yeah. But then another time we got it in three, which is actually really, or no, we got it in three twice.

Yeah. Or no, we got it in two. I mean, that has to count for something. We never got it in two. I know, but we got it in three twice. Yeah. Or no, we got it in two. I mean, that has to count for something. We never got it in two. I know, but we got it in three twice. That's pretty good. Yeah, which is kind of like getting it in one. Yeah. Okay, here's the game we thought of.

Instead of Jake and Amir, this is Jake or Amir. We're gonna hit you with 10 kind of funny, mostly embarrassing things that happened to one of us. And Casey, you're gonna have to guess, did this happen to Jake or Amir? Great. You know, I've known you guys for a few years now, so I think I can, I think I could get this.

You've got a handle on our two personalities. There's some context clues to these, for sure. And feel free to play it home, I think. Yeah, you can play along at this one. You think? You don't have to give them permission. They can do whatever they want at home. Exactly.

You can play along if necessary, but if not, just turn your mind off and see. Don't give anybody directions. They don't need you. Have at it if necessary. Slash if you want. You're over-hosting. Here we go, ready? Yeah, ready. Jake or Amir. Jake, I'll read have that if necessary. Slash if you want. You're over-posting. Yeah, ready.

Jake or Amir. Jake, I'll read the first one and then you'll read the second one. Okay. One of us once had a gun pulled on them when they were following a group of teenagers with a camera. That was me or Jake.

Now, can I dissect this? Can I ask questions or am I just guessing straight up? You can dissect but questions might not be able to be answered because it only happened to one of us. Okay, so one of you got a gun pulled on you for following a group of teens with a camera you say. Yeah, a group of teeth with a camera. What it helps to know that this happened

a year and a half ago. Oh wow. During COVID, day four of the pandemic, one of us was making a cinema verita vice style mockumentary about teenagers. I would say a mirror is more likely to pull out the camera and follow a group of teens around to what end I'm not sure, but I'm sure when the gun was pulled, there was a perfectly logical explanation. That is correct. It was me.

In high school, me and my friends used to shoot jackass prank style videos. Of course. We would interview people, offer them money and not give it to them, give them a dollar and then one of us would steal it back and run away. So we were just like following, like doing an interview with like from my car to like another car on the freeway, like trying to like videotape them while asking them questions but they couldn't hear us. So it just looked like we were fucking, what was that Jake Gyllenhaal movie where he's like forcing car accidents? Nightc night crawler yeah we were night crawler trying

to get them into an accident they pulled over we like followed them to like get more interview style and then a guy in their car came out with a gun is like stop videotaping us we're like oh shit we're just fucked and we like peeled off and we're too afraid to sleep that night because none of us, of course, had ever seen a gun before. Sure. Three 16 year old Jews. Jesus Christ, that's horrifying.

I mean the footage sounds great. Yeah, do you have the footage? Did you send it to Johnny Knoxville? I don't know if we have the footage. We definitely didn't get a release. We didn't actually end up getting a release for the footage. Yeah. So, okay, that was good.

That was a way to talk yourself into the right answer there. Yeah, thank you so much. Okay, one of us had a cartilage earring that got so infected and got so tightly swollen against his ear that his dad had to remove it with a wire cutter. This has to be Jake. I don't see a mirror getting an earring

at any point in his life, but Jake, absolutely, yes. Correct, correct. Yes. I had the cartilage ring. I also had the eyebrow ring, which was also infected, but I was able to remove that one on my own solo dolo style. It seems like your body was constantly rejecting

the choices you made. You also got a tattoo removed. That's right, a tribal sun on my ankle. Yeah. That's really cool. That's three things that were on your person that either you or your body rejected. My body rejected, yeah.

And can you tell me about what went down with your dad removing it? Because I feel like if I was the dad there, I'd be like, just go to a fucking place to get that done. Like he wasn't gonna just do it. Yeah, like a doctor's office. I believe it had been a few days. I was like home from college for Thanksgiving.

I'd gotten my cartilage pierced with a pretty big gauge, not really realizing. I didn't gauge it correctly. Like I didn't realize how thick the gauge was gonna be, but I went I think I got it done at like a tattoo parlor in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, so it was not like a little stud. It was like a full-on big hoop of my ear, and I was complaining about it for several days. I was like a full-on big hoop of my ear and I was complaining about it for several days. I was trying to get it out. It was like a hoop with a with a little ball that you had to push out. But yeah, but I couldn't, I couldn't

really touch my ear and get and get the force needed because it was so swollen. It was like swollen around this thing. Sounds so painful. Yeah. So I think by like the third day, I like couldn't sleep on my one side because it was so, it was so pause filled. Yeah.

And I guess my dad, instead of taking me to urgent care was just like, all right, I think I can just get it off with a wire cutter. And indeed, he slipped under. Oh my God. and we're like, no, don't do it. I'm scared. I need to look cool. Are we like, please get this shit out of me. It hurts so bad that I needed that I really wanted it gone.

Sure. Yeah. So what, what, what, what music were you listening to at the time that made you decide this is going to be the new Jake? This I want to know. I want to know the soundtrack. This was actually kind of during my like Dave Matthews era.

So it was kind of like, maybe, and I'd just gotten into like Fish, but I was really into- The band? Yeah, I was into the Fish, the band, but I really loved Farmhouse, one of their least popular songs, because it's not really jam bandy.

I don't like jam music, but I was into jam bands because I think I liked smoking weed and I wanted everybody to know that was my aesthetic. So it was kind of like a hemp necklace, cartilage earring, tie-dye shirt vibe, not like- Got infected and the dad's pulling it out with wire cutters. Exactly, exactly. Incredible.

Yeah. And did you have to like tell the friend that you went with to the place like, yeah, I got like infected and my dad took it out. Or you just didn't show or tell anybody. I definitely didn't tell anybody that my dad used a tool to help me fix my hearing. I think I just, I probably just said that it got infected.

And then later you did the eyebrow one? No, the eyebrow was pre-college. So I arrived at college. Eyebrow was summer before freshman year. I arrived at college with the eyebrow ring in. Did you tell your parents about that one or you just did it solo and then you showed up to dinner one night with a fucking barbell

through your eyebrow? Yeah, it was, I think my mom, my mom, I often told my mom stuff and then I would surprise my dad because my mom was pretty permissive. And then my dad, once it had already happened, he was kind of like, what's the word? It's not like, disappointed. It's kind of like he gave up, like he couldn't really resign. He was resigned. Yeah, he was pretty resigned by everything. When I would come home, I had a tattoo of a butterfly on my forearm. And my dad has never acknowledged any of them. Really? He's never mentioned them once. My mom, she's an artist.

She likes when I get tattoos. She's always interested in the style and asks questions like, oh, what artist did that? But my dad has never even acknowledged that they exist. He denies them. Must be hard to create a baby and raise a child and then it's an 18 year old and they're like, I'm gonna put permanent things all over my body

and you're like, I can't stop it, but at the same time I don't necessarily want you to keep doing this. Yeah, yeah, but I was disappointing my parents in so many ways, it was real fast and furious, they couldn't keep up. So my eyebrow ring on the trunk of the car. Yeah, exactly.

I was flooding the zone with disappointment. They didn't, like, you can't really, I can't care about the eyebrow ring if you just crashed the car, you know? Yeah, right. You're not in college. Don't worry about the fucking butterfly on my wrist. Okay, let's take a break, come back, and continue playing.

Jake, Orr, Amir. Thank you to Helix for sponsoring this episode of our show. Yahoo, thank you Helix. Jake, you sleep on a Helix mattress? Sure do, the best mattress out there. Is your sleep improved or? Everything about my life is improved. My sleep, my back, my mood. And my crack.

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One per new customer bonus awarded as non-withdrawal pick six credits that expire in 14 days limited time offer seat terms at pick six dot draft kings dot com slash promos. Thank you. And we're back. One, two, three, 74. 74. 44. Whoo!

No, I heard you. I heard you. I was cheating. 74. 44. Woo! No, I heard you. I heard you. I was cheating. Yeah. No. Assholes. But it was nice to see you get excited.

Yeah. Of course. Okay. All right, Casey, you're two for two. Here's the third one, ready? Yeah. One of us once filled a venty Starbucks cup with piss on a road trip and then

dropped it onto his lap when he was trying to roll down the window to toss it out. Okay. One of us filled a venti Starbucks cup with piss and then dropped it onto his lap while he was trying to roll down the window and toss it out. One of them? No. No. Well, at the start.

Can you use it in a sentence? At the start, you know, it could go either way. I see both of you guys pissing in a Starbucks Venti cup on the road, but then dropping it in the lap feels like a mirror. I'm gonna have to go a mirror. Your first incorrect one, that was Jake. Indeed.

And you know who I was driving with. It was Mike Carnell. Wow. That's right. So a Ventii is that the little fucking espresso cup because your shrimp dick can't fit into anything smaller than that? No it's actually the biggest fucking cup that's not a Trenta because my shrimp dick had a lot of piss in it. I bet you didn't even take the lid off you just used like

pierced it like a fucking straw. No I did take it. I took the whole ass lid off and I put my tiny little dick in the top. The huge opening. You idiot. That's why I spilled it all over myself. Wait, so both of you think to piss in a cup you have to stick your dick all the way inside of the cup? Yeah, otherwise there's too much risk involved because he's probably driving I assume because he doesn't want to pull over, right Jake? We were running late so Mike didn't want to pull over so I was in the passenger seat pissing into the cup. I see her

Yeah, and how how full was this pretty big cup? That was the issue it I did it was Very very full and we were going and we were on the highway Pissing in the cup till it runneth over Holy grail we were on the highway. Pissing in the cup till it runneth over. Holy grail. We were on the highway and I like, yeah, I guess I, I kind of like stood up a little bit in my seat to angle into the cup. And then as it got higher and higher, I had to I had to unangle the cup. So it's like near standing straight up, because if I angled it, it was going to fall over. And then when higher and higher, I had to unangle the cup. So it's like near standing straight up

because if I angled it, it was gonna fall over. And then when I sat down, I guess it jostled and I like dropped the cup into my lap. And fully dropped. Yeah, yeah, it was like, I like dropped it. All the piss. It didn't fully go upside down, but it like fell into my lap.

We're about half, it basically was like I pissed my pants. So then, and then actually, once I opened the window, I threw it out, but we were on the highway so much it blew back. It was absolutely foul. Was the plan, did you think you were gonna fill the cup or was it getting higher and higher? You're like, oh no, this is filled. Yeah, I have to get rid of this.

The plan was always to piss into cut the cup. I didn't think it would get that high. And then I was going to just toss it out the window. And I knew we were going fast. But I was like, if I bring it out the window, and then put my hand all the way back, it'll spray and fly, you know, into all the cars behind us behind you. Behind you, yeah. But. Which is also bad by the way.

For sure, but yeah, it made it pretty precarious just how much it filled. That was the big issue. Because it was so full, I was kind of trying to be really, you know, I was treating it very gingerly. And I think all of my trepidation made it a little more risky, and then I dropped it. So your plan ultimately was to piss into the cup,

shoot it back into the cars behind you. Exactly. So ultimately I would say this was maybe karma, this was the better option where instead of That's fair. You know, someone's driving behind you. It was cars covered in piss. You're covered in your own piss.

It was karma for Carnell who wouldn't pull over for me to piss because we were late. So now his car smells like piss. You're late. Where were, so you're late to what? And now you're arriving there covered in piss. We were trying to get to Yosemite before sunset. So you arrived there piss in lap.

That's right. Have you seen that like a viral video of like, there was like a trend where like kids would like hold, fill up cups of water and then their friend would drive over a speed bump and it would like just completely drench them? No, that's great though. I have seen this.

They did the, you should do that with piss. And I've never understood why the, I guess you're picking the correct friend to have them hold like 10 McDonald's cups with no tops on them. Yeah. And they're like, are you guys sure I should be holding everyone's waters right now?

Drive really carefully. Oh no. Explosion. Okay. So Casey, you're two correct, one incorrect. Let's go to the fourth one. Jake, can you read the fourth one? The fourth one.

Oh yeah, actually sorry. The fourth one, Jake, can you read the fourth one? The fourth one, oh yeah, actually sorry. The fourth one, yes. One of us once made a dinner of pasta, cream cheese, tuna, and Frank's Red Hot, then ate it so fast that he threw up. Well the last one was Jake, and I hate to met meta game like this. Yeah.

But I'm gonna have to go Omir. It's Jake again. Wow! These were randomized by, I think, AI, right? Sure. AI MR, my AI sidekick. Yeah, the last two have been Jake. He pissed in a cup and then he also made a dinner

of pasta, cream cheese, tuna, and Frank's Red Hot. Oh, interesting. That'll really fuck you up. Wire cutter piss and pasta. Yeah, these were my single days. Red hot sauce and I also don't eat tuna so that would have been a dead giveaway if you knew me better.

Yeah. I had neighbors who made pasta one time and they used cream cheese and it was actually really good. Have you ever had that? No, I'm Italian and we would never. Yeah. Anyway, I'm pissing into a cup and drinking it like a rose.

They were Turkish. And they were from Philadelphia. The cream cheese and pasta was good, but I was really hungry that night. So I did the cream cheese and pasta, which was a trick that I had seen. And then I was like, you know what? I'm gonna have some tuna

because I want some protein on this bitch. And then once I had the tuna, I was like, well, you know what goes good with tuna? It's Frank's Red Hot. So I kind of had it all. And it was so good that I ate it. I kind of ate it super fast. And then as I mentioned, I vomited soon after.

And did that, you think it was the tuna? You think it was the cheese, a sort of combination of all four in your gut? I don't I didn't feel sick I just felt like I ate it too fat like I had it was a lump in my chest. It was that good. Yeah the cream cheese and tuna had congealed into a ball in my sternum and I couldn't break it down. It it came out like a billiard ball. It came out like a solid, almost like a magic eight ball. It was a cue ball, it was solid white. It was shiny and smooth to the touch. I couldn't believe it.

Okay, next one. So Casey, so far you're two for two, or sorry, two for four. One of us had to sign a waiver saying he was getting his braces off Prematurely because college was starting and he didn't want braces This feels aligned with what I know about Jake and what he was up to before he went to college But are these all just

But are these all just Jake? But once again, I'm gonna have to guess Amir. That is correct! It was me! I was a late bloomer, didn't get braces until 10th grade. Wow. I think I had braces 10th through the start of 12th grade. Yeah, a lot of kids were getting like 12th grade. Wow. Yeah, 10th is when I got my golf. A lot of kids were getting like seventh to ninth. Yeah, I was eight to 10.

I don't know why. And it was like 10th grade, 11th grade. I'm like, we're running out of time here, sir. That's because you're a late bloomer or is it because your parents were delaying it to either be cheap or to deliberately fuck with you. Deliberately fuck with me? Do you think your parents ever had like pillow talk where they were just like,

how can we fuck with Amir next? He's such a little shit. He's been driving around our car, getting guns pulled on him. He's making these jackass videos like, let's let's get one back. Dad said, I have fuck you money, Like let's get one back. I did hear what my dad said. I have fuck you money, so let's use it to fuck this guy. And my mom was like, how do you figure? And he'll be like, let's say we can't give him braces

as a lark, as a goof almost, until it's college so that we sort of send his ass in with a deficit socially. so that we sort of send his ass in with a deficit socially. Then it was August right before my college started and he's like, there's still just like three to six months left here. I'm like, I really don't want braces on the first day of college.

Like it seems like a really seminal time to meet people. Obviously now in retrospect, I regret it because like who gives a shit about the first six months of college and I could have just Finished my orthodontic work now. I still don't have a bite that closes Was that gonna it was going to result in a closed bite. Was that the plan? I sure hope so I sure fucking hope you can always get in what do you what do you yeah?

What do you think your life would have been like if you could close that bite? Well, I could eat cleaner So like whenever I eat like a sandwich that has like lettuce in it, it always just like gets pulled out because I can't get a clean break on it. You have a weak jaw. And I wonder if having a better aligned bite

would make your facial structure make you a little more handsome. Fortunately, I had so much sex for a few weeks of college that like it seemed worth it at the time. Because people are like, holy shit. That guy doesn't even have braces. That's the hottest fucking 18 year old I've ever seen.

Everyone else here has braces. You have Holy Rose's mouth. Look at him eat lettuce. He's eating like a rabbit on the fucking corner of this dorm room party. I want his weird jaw to eat me out. I'm the fucking corner of this dorm room party. I want his weird jaw to eat me out. He can't even do it properly

because he can't get a closed bite. I want his weird jaw to eat me out. Yes, I heard that many, many times. But yeah, because it was like not his specific work, he's like, listen, I gotta have you sign this thing that says it's like, we're ending this early because of you, I don't want you to sue me later. So there you have it.

Okay, you're back on The Winning Ways. Jake, you wanna read number six? One of us had to have their mom surprise us at college because they refused to see a doctor to address an illness. This is interesting. It kind of lines up with the braces thing where Amir is like, by any means necessary, I need to be socially accepted.

And that includes not going to a fucking doctor. Yeah, yeah. That's social suicide. There's nothing wrong with me. Not going to a doctor. Yeah. That's social suicide. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm not going to a doctor. Yeah, I'll go a mirror on this. That's correct. I had an infected lymph node that made a swollen neck appear so fast and furiously that I still refused to see a doctor thinking it would just go away on its own. My parents were very concerned so my mom flew up to Berkeley

without telling me and dragged me to a doctor where he administered steroids that helped temporarily but not permanently. She ended up leaving, the infection came back and they then convinced me to go to LA to see a friend of my father's and as soon as I landed they took me to go to LA to see a friend of my father's. And as soon as I landed, they took me to a hospital and I was there for a week because what actually had happened turned out to be kind of life threatening to the point where they had to slice my neck open, let that infection bleed and pus out for days at a time under medical supervision.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. He almost died. I'm sorry. You could have been talking to Jake and fucking Marty right now, Casey. Like that's how close it was. Wow.

Well, I'm glad you're okay. I'm glad I'm here and I have a scar in my neck to sort of remember it by. And then I sort of have some numbness along the scar because I guess when they cut into your neck It's a branch of nerves and you just never get that feeling back Well, I know I know you have the scar because every time I'm in the office you do come up to me and go want To know how I got this scar and I'm like, yeah sure man, and it's a different story every time This is the true one because this's, cause this one's lame.

Yeah, this one's sad. It has nothing to do with the shark. Jake, you want to read number seven? One of us once took MDMA at a Macklemore concert, but it didn't kick in until after the show ended. Drugs, but kind of a lame rapper. So, go either way, yeah. Yeah, that's exactly where I'm at.

I'm gonna go Jake. Technically correct because this was both of us. We did this one together. All right, now that all lines up. That's right. Yes, the Macklemore was a mirror, the drugs were me, and we did, what happened?

We went to this Macklemore concert, we took the MDMA at the right time, and- I think it was the night before we left New York for LA, like, we started the road trip the next day. It was for CH on tour. That it was before a road trip. Yeah, yeah, we didn't. We weren't moving to LA.

That was the like the nine day road trip we went on with Streeter and Dave. I see. Yeah, and I guess you got drugs and we tried to time it up with a concert and it didn't hit us until the second we left the concert. Let that be a lesson to you guys. If you're going to take ecstasy, make sure it happens early. And I don't think I've taken, I've had that drug since.

There was a, there was a moment where New York in like 2014, 2013, it seems like a lot of people were having fun with Molly and I haven't really heard about much about it since I don't know if I grew out of it, if I left New York or if that drug has fallen out of favor. I think cocaine has taken its place. Yeah, it's back. Yeah, coke is big now and it's a lot less fun, but it's a lot more addicting.

So that's what I've been seeing personally. Do you think you would have really gotten into Molly if it kicked in at the Macklemore show, now you're seeing him play Thrift Shop and it's like the greatest thing you'd ever seen? Yeah. Well, it kind of was the greatest thing I've ever seen because I was really into that song anyway.

And I think I'm so scared of drugs that like, I'm like, let me try this out for a few times. And it, you know, it does feel good because it just convinces your brain that you're on having one of the happiest experiences of your life. But I'm so afraid about long-term effects and I'm so anxious about doing drugs

that like I only did it a few times and then I cut myself off anyway. Yeah. Yeah. We had a great night that night though. I remember we like- Yeah, the night was great. We had some drinks, the Molly didn't hit and then we were like, leaving MSG we like

hailed. I think you you were you were maybe going with Marty and I was going separately. I don't know why. But we like hailed a cab. And all of a sudden it likes the Molly started to hit me and I like ran up to you guys as you're standing there and you're like, is it hitting you too? And we're like, yeah, we can't go home yet. We have to go out. We have to convince him to play more songs.

I'm gonna pop a tag. We went down to the Bowery area and we went out by NYU, it was great. We should have died that night. And we did. We should have died every night. And in some ways we did. Okay, let's take a break. We have three left, only three left.

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Thank you. All right, Casey, we've returned. You had a little trouble in the middle there, but you're on a winning streak now. We got three. Yeah. What's what? Oh, what's your record? You got two correct, then two incorrect, then three correct. So you're five up, two down. OK, with three left. I'll read this one, Jake. OK, that's OK with you. Please. One of us used to practice beer pong with cups of water in his basement.

One of us used to practice beer pong with cups of water in his basement. I can see both of you doing this for different reasons. I can see Amir doing it because he wants to be normal later. And I see. Not now, later. Yeah. For a later date, he can appear more normal.

I can see Jake doing it because he's really competitive about it and wants to be the best beer pong player. I love this deduction. Again, for a later date. Of course. So I'm gonna say it's Jake because he was practicing for later. That

is correct. And the exact reason why you don't go to UConn to lose your place at the beer pong table. Okay. And I was not admitted to UConn because I tried to transfer there from Southern but my grades weren't good enough. But I was still going up there on the weekends to party at my friends who lived at Carriage House. And the beer pong scene was so competitive that if you lost a game,

you're not gonna get onto the table again for an hour. And that was just not gonna fly for me. So I was- You can't not play for an hour. I was in the basement. I was practicing shooting with cups of water on a ping pong table. I wonder if beer pong is such a big deal now as it was back then, or is it considered like dirty and not sanitary anymore? I don't know what Gen Z is doing. I'm not sure. I'm honestly not sure. I'm not sure. It was a really

big part of my, my youth. It was a really big part of my youth. It was a very big part of like high school through, I mean, pretty late until I was like 30. Until last week. I mean, we played it at the Headgum launch party. We had a, me and you played Rick Fox at Beer Bong. That's right. I mean, God, just this ball landing on the ground

of a frat house and then landing in your cup and you fish it out of your hand and drink it. Rolling into a corner. Where nine diseases could be found and then into your fucking beer you drink it. Hey, I bounced that, drink two, you have to drink two. It landed in the toilet, let me bob it out. Were other people practicing or do you think this was just something you were doing?

And did it pay off? Did the practice help? I think the practice helped me because I was actually pretty bad at beer pong, so I did need the practice. And I would sometimes practice by myself, sometimes with my best friend, Steve. And he was pretty good.

But I think the two of us practicing together actually did make us a pretty dynamic duo. We knew when to go for two, because we played the rule where if you bounce it, that's two, but if you bounce it, the other person is allowed to swat it away. So you had to be very vigilant. You always knew which one, if the ball bounces.

No, one second. If the ball bounces, if somebody overshoots it and the ball bounces away, Steve and I can't both turn back and look for the ball because then someone's gonna bounce it, right? Right, Amir? Bloomin' folk? I don't fucking care.

It doesn't matter. That's exactly why I would've kicked your ass at Carriage House, okay. Move on. At water pong. That's exactly why I want to kick your ass at Carriage House. OK, move on. At Waterpong. OK. Ninth one. One of us once fainted at a smoothie shop. And that's it. That's all of it.

That's it. That's all. Passed out at a smoothie shop. I'm going to say a mirror. It's called, passed out at a smoothie shop. Hmm. I'm gonna say a mirror. That's correct. Oh, wow. I got lightheaded after working out and I went to get a smoothie and I got so lightheaded

my vision started getting cloudy and I laid down and I fainted and then I came to pretty instantly and like the teenager working the registers like are you okay? I'm like yeah I think so. What happened? It was the weirdest feeling in the world. I have a similar story almost fainted I almost fainted okay in a Margaritaville at Universal City Y. Oh wow. From any idea why? I think I was just having a panic attack, honestly. I know, Margaritavilles are the opposite of panic.

Why? It's supposed to be the laziest, chillest place ever. Well, it was, we were there for Halloween Horror Nights, so it was kinda scary. I see, I see, okay. And you got so spooked by a guy with a fake chainsaw running after you that you fainted? No, honestly, it was before we got in there.

The anticipation? And I got lightheaded. Or were you just dealing with other shit? I honestly don't know what triggered it, but I was like, the room started spinning and I said to my friends, guys, I don't know, I think I'm about to pass out. Did you continue the night?

Did you end up going to Margaritaville or did you go home? Yeah, they came, like the, you know, it was at Universal City Walk, so they have paramedics there ready to go. So these guys came in within minutes and checked me out. And I was fine. And I asked them, am I OK to go to horror nights? They're like, sure. And you know, wearing a werewolf mask.

Sure. But watch out. Whoo. Another panic attack. Are you are you even a fucking Hospital worker they were wearing clown makeup and so it was kind of like all right I don't know these guys are legit, but they didn't say I'm good here the guy from the saw oh They did they gave me the green light. They gave me the green light. I went and had a great time Oh, okay, so I was well that ends fine. My friends were on high alert. Yeah, they were already freaked out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing was scarier that night than their friend almost died. Me almost passing out into my Cadillac margarita. I wonder if you were just dehydrated. We'll never know. Yeah. Okay, final question. Okay.

The last one. Yeah. One of us has been gifted two fleshlights. Um, hmm. I'm gonna go Jake. That is correct. Yes. That is absolutely correct. I didn't buy them myself. That is correct. Yes. That is absolutely correct.

I didn't buy them myself. They were gifts. They were given to me as gifts. From Streeter and then one from your mom for your bar mitzvah? Right, because I was so upset that there wasn't a fleshlight that could fit my thin little dick. They were all too wide. I thought I was using a Starbucks cup anyway. It didn't even feel like I was masturbating. Who gave you a boo? I'm putting my dick into a garbage bag. They, I think actually one of them, somebody just mailed a whole shipment of them to College

Humor. It might have been the the Fleshlight Maker, because I believe Rosie interviewed him for some College Humor article. So we sent a big box of Fleshlights, and everybody like waved them around and we were all laughing about them. But then by the end of the day, they were all gone and nobody really knew who took any. And then the other one was actually just at JFL. They were, I think, so you've gotten two flashlights as well.

They were put in everyone's hotel rooms. It's part of the welcome package. Yeah, the welcome package included a flashlight. Wow. And some M&Ms, yeah. Cool Ranch potato Crisps and a Fleshlight. And Loop. All right, you got eight out of 10. That's pretty good, Casey.

Yeah, I feel really good about that score. And remember, you guys could have played at home. So let us know how you did. They know. Yeah. All right, Casey, one last time. What's that fricking movie URL? What's the Kickstarter?

How do people help you? You could go to casymakesmovies.com. It'll take you to the Kickstarter. Learn all about it. My love for you is deep, but the devil loves me deeper. It's gonna be, it's, you know, there's some body horror. There's a lot of like influence from like David Lynch. And you know, like you guys said before,

it's kind of a sexy movie. That's kind of like the David Cronenberg. I don't know if you guys have ever seen like Videodrome or one of my favorites is he made this movie called Crash but not the one for the Oscar for racism. This movie was about people who get horny when they crash their cars. It's pretty sick. Whoa, that's awesome.

Maybe I should watch that. It sounds hot. Or I'll just take my fleshlight and watch porn or something. My two fleshlights, I should say. All right, sweet. When, when are you, let's say you, this Kickstarter gets fully funded, when are you shooting this video, when is the,

or movie, when is this coming out? Like when could we expect this movie to be made and for us to be able to see it? Yeah, so we're in pre-production right now. And if we hit the goal, and we have to hit the goal, because it's Kickstarter, it's all or nothing on Kickstarter. So we gotta hit the goal, and if we do hit it,

we will be shooting the movie about two weeks later. Whoa, wow. Yeah, we are, we're getting ready to shoot and it'll be like a two week shoot that we're gonna do this movie and hopefully be in festivals next year. But if you back the Kickstarter, we're gonna do a live stream premiere,

so people will be able to see it. If you back the Kickstarter, you'll see it before we're at any festivals, before we're at any sort of theatrical screening, so you'll be the first to see it, and it'll be a fun, kind of live stream show built around the movie. So again, you can go to cas it and it'll be a fun kind of live stream show built around the movie So again, you go to Casey makes movies calm and check it out. All right All right, do that help Casey make a frickin movie for Christ sakes. Come on

Please for the love of fucking time for once Christ Or you could just listen to this podcast. We'll be back next week. We're also on Patreon, patreon.com slash J.A. The March Madness Bracket to determine which is the greatest Jake and Amir video of all time is in its second of four weeks. So you can check that out there and it is in full swing.

Vote for some tiebreakers. We need your tiebreaking vote. Casey, thank you again for coming. Thanks to you guys for listening You guys of course and we'll be back next week. Bye everybody later. Bye That was a Hidgum original Hello and welcome Hi, my name is Cole. My name is Andrew We host a podcast called podcast but outside where Cole and I set up a table on the sidewalk

and talked to strangers who are walking by. We have a sign on our table that says, hi, be a guest on our podcast, and we will pay you one dollar. We are the only ethical podcast. We're the only podcast that pays. We have really interesting conversations with really fun folks.

Like who? Like Marilyn. Okay. And I was somebody else's wife for a while. But the second one worked out. Well, until he died. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. It turned out he had a double life. I was somebody else's wife for a while with the second one worked out well Until he died. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that it turned out. He had a double life What what was the second life? He is a crack addict Hold on. How do you hide? He was a nice old Jewish guy. How did he get addicted to crack?

He started smoking it. No, but I just I'm just trying to I know That was a good clip. Hey, thank you. And sometimes we even have celebrity friends of ours helping us to interview these random people off the street. Like who? Like John Hamm, Adam Scott, Nick Kroll, and Otsuko Okatsuka. So please subscribe to Podcast But Outside

on YouTube and podcast apps. And then have a good time.