If I Were You - Episode 308: New Years Lightning Round!

Episode Date: January 1, 2018

New episode for a new year! Ring in 2018 as we tackle as many questions as possible, while discussing our resolutions, favorite memories, and podcast ideas.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast look if you had one shot one opportunity to seize all the cheese you ever wanted to capture it just let it slip yeah this pod is heavy microphones armed and ready the semen in the bath object missing his mom already his nervous but a headspace has served his purpose he gets calm but he keeps on regretting holding a shoe now the whole crowd goes so loud he opens his mouth but the beer won't come out his frozen howl i think i heard some hardbark sounds his awkward mouth bow to the master bow snapchat like wasary and oy the ghost wolf in his coy and i'm beef with soy so i summon game boy and he'll raise my esteem when i feel like a gore the cheese it was a dream like i'm

coming with lord when my roommate will scream so it seems like i'm mad like i can't bring my baton to the Bahamas so back to the show and let's pray for positivity that if i send an email up for so my amenity yo yo they didn't do the chorus yeah just the verse that's wow you better i was really excited you better lose yourself in the podcast the game boy the mama's cookies dead or go go you only get me undies do not nature box to chew we can actually freestyle that was probably most most of it yeah christ that was bad uh that was written by mike the freestyle was an ad oh yeah of course that was written by mike uh who made an m&m parody shout out to his brother dany who's huge

day one fans come to sweden he says okay uh new year new us new you this uh podcast episode being released on january one 2018 january one we hanging out uh on new year's day yeah oh on new year's eve yeah uh yeah new year's eve i think so we don't know what we're doing yet though no we don't it's real what are you it's real thorn in my side there's so many ways new year's eve can happen it can be like a chill house party it can be like a crazy house party it can be like a regular bar it can be like a fancy dress up hundred dollar all you can drink whatever it can be a dinner party it can be like a little wedding but the guests don't even know each other so it's like everyone's dressed up a masquerade ball yeah or or a fucking crazy four floor rave yeah or it can be like a

movie night where it's like four people watching a movie and falling asleep or you can masturbate by yourself and go to bed at 11 52 who gives a fuck you're missing new years so what's your live last year either you know what's your favorite kind of new years what are you hoping for i like to i i like to do new year's big you know like there's some holidays that have a lot of pressure and people are like i don't like new years because you're like expect that i like the pressure i like i will ride like living up to the hype i like new year's like needing to be fun and then also having it be really fun but for the last couple years you you did like a friend trip not like a party at a with strangers type of deal yeah well so a couple going back years and years our friends

used to always like either do a house party or rent out a bar and it was really great yeah then we upgraded i think we upgraded to um to extravagant trips we like rented a mansion in upstate new york we brought like 20 people and then we did like the same thing the next year in the pokonos it's like a co-ed bachelor party yeah it's and like that it felt like a big party because there were so many people and everybody brought like fancy clothes it felt like we were like living in a haunted mansion which was awesome then last year i went to a wedding which was great uh because it was like a built-in party that was oh that's a cool thing a new year's eve wedding yeah i don't mind that um but now this year i feel like since i went to a wedding last year i broke the chain of

hanging like now all of our friends are doing different stuff right this is my first this is my first new year's in la right and then it's like what do you do in la what kind of new years do you want i want a do you want to dress up yeah i want to wear like i don't want to wear like a suit but i want to wear a collared shirt and and a jacket i want a classy affair that turns into a little bit of a debauchery i see i want like i want uh gatsby meets the virgin oh interesting so you want everybody great gatsby hit uh hip hop top 40 party got it so you want everyone to dress up like it's a nice night but to be dancing like it's a stinky basement yeah yeah i guess i do are you willing to pay cash because a lot of these places have covers you know yeah i will i suggest they're

going to the like there's some insane party that they do at the train station here oh at union station yeah but it's like $150 but there's it seems like there's so much going on that sounds fun because then you could do a little bit of everything yeah food yeah there's food there's like four different i didn't hear that recommendation did you tell me that recommendation i don't think you ever floated that idea to me uh no because i floated it to uh jill and she shot it down because it was too expensive of course but now that you own bitcoin cash everything is sort of money is not an object to me because i'm either rich or poor yeah i'm where that little thing is that's pretty good it's like that's a good tagline for bitcoin it's like bitcoin money is not an

object oh because it's like you know it's not an object it's digital currency that's true all right but for now we want it to start the new year off right since after all this is if i were you the only advice podcast on the internet that we host hamamir i'm jake uh we are gonna start it off lightning round style so i asked uh our twitter followers if they had any quick questions for us we're gonna try to get through as many as possible just to uh set the pace for the new year 2018 we're gonna try to answer as many fucking questions as possible lightning round uh do you see any good ones i scrolled very to the very very bottom uh because i felt like i wanted to reward that person the people that that first person they answered very very first person i believe the very

very first person said wine or beer oh cool uh i don't love either but i prefer wine because i don't think there's a beer that i enjoy as much as like a white wine which sort of tastes sweet enough for me to like yeah i i agree i'm a big whiskey drinker as y'all know but if i give him this wine given this choice i think i mean i can enjoy both i just don't like to drink more than one or two beers yeah i don't like to drink like more than a couple glasses of wine because it i do not like the kind of drunk wine gets me yeah it's hard to i don't i guess it's not hard but i don't i rarely drink enough wine to get drunk or enough beer to get drunk right i don't do either of that it's too much liquid per alcohol for such losers but i like a good a big a nice full-bodied red a nice

earthy earthy red a mall bet with a with a steak i like a stout and i like a fucking hoppy bro i want chips and walk you're so heavy i can't even lift the stein i want a glass give me a horn of your finest ale brother i want a mead so thick i can't even pour it out of the fucking bottle i service myself meat and mead meat and mead for my brethren what's that meat and mead got it let me sit at your table i am a vegetarian that is though mr some tempeh for my brothers and a riesling to go in a plastic shoe yeah uh oh here we go biggest regret of 2017 writes andrea ooh i know what yours is is it selling bitcoin at 19 000 hoping that it'll fall down and then it

just never did and then yeah yeah that's that's what i thought it was yeah and then sorry i sold it at 16 000 hoping it would fall then bought back in at 19 000 because i got scared and then it fell back down so yeah regrets i got some yeah yeah um i can't really think of any i'm sure i have them though regrets uh let me think if i can think of any for you oh that really dumb i mean i don't regret it now but like i had that pretty dumb like flight itinerary a flight itinerary when i went to in in october when i went to my friend's wedding and i like for some reason flew out of hartford at six a.m the next day oh yeah no it was too hard for wasn't it well i flew at six a.m from boise to new york which didn't make any sense because as soon as i landed in new york i took the

train back to connecticut and then on saturday i had my friend's wedding and that morning i had a six a.m flight out of hartford that i had to wake up at three thirty four wake up at three thirty it was the dumbest itinerary you could possibly imagine and i landed here and i took the train to santa barbara okay follow up how much american money would someone have to pay you to eat a tablespoon of human cum um let's say the cum was safe you knew it was like from a clean guy oh i was gonna say a thousand dollars before you even told me that i'd probably do it for a thousand bucks really a thousand dollars to drink a tablespoon of my semen you didn't say yours well i do that for way less for yours i would do it for 50 bucks i'd do it for a fucking fun for the for the

shits and the giggles i'd be too scared to do it for a thousand dollars i mean it wouldn't taste good but it's a teaspoon right not or a tablespoon teaspoon oh sorry it says tablespoon i read well that's a huge fucking difference bloom and felt too late no i'm gonna drink a glass here comes the plane where's it gonna land some come and meet for my friends um amir are you going to burning man this year with jake writes andrea dash carrot you're not even going to burning man not this year because i'm getting married the week before but you know what i actually did i i've said in the past that i don't think i'll ever go to burning man again and now and now i think i want to go back i want to go back uh not this year next year do you think it's changed since you've gone

if you go next year how many years would it be four years apart yeah i think so i think i went in 2013 yeah and or 24 yeah i went in 20 no i yeah what year did we move to la i think 2013 then i went i went that yeah i went that year in 2013 the year yeah we i went in august and we moved in december oh wow so you'll go so it'll be five years after that and you do want to go back i do want to go back why do you want to go back um i guess i feel like i want to go i want to take my brother because i think he'd really like it and i think it'd be like a fun uh brotherly bonding activity oh and i don't know i think that like i learned you learned so much the first time you go that it's sort of a shame that i like went and like hacked my way through and sort of survived

but didn't thrive and and how i could go and like and do it differently do it better all right well i will never go so that's fair the answer to me is that i'm not going back with jay you would you would hate um all right you got a question uh where did you find the guy who played larence in the barbershop quartet that is a great question uh the episode i feel like that how did that person ask that they had had to have known larence uh the we had an episode where i'm in a barbershop quartet it was me a new dan who are all college human producers and then a 53 year old middle aged man who was older than 53 i think who was not an actor not not that he won a contest he won a contest i think his kids or students were like fans of it and he wanted to be in the video and he

was like so naturally funny because it was like no actor would act that way yeah and his name was larence his name wasn't really larence we named him yeah his name his character's name was larence when i was uh what does he say like i was 19 a fisherman found me and raised me named me larence and raised me he like he talked in a in a cadence that was so like unnatural yeah and i say at 19 you should have been raised and named he says that's fair that's more than fair he's talking like almost like an interested rabbi i love the idea of something being more than fair that makes it unfair all of a sudden doesn't it the most fair yeah is there a gradient of how fair something can be yeah fairness is the middle more than or less than it's not fair that's more than fair

more than fair uh but i guess you say when you're getting a good deal on something right yeah that's that's more than fair uh christina jonis writes you guys ever think about making some of your memorable sayings ringtones i don't know about anyone else but i'd love a yes dude or a ha text tone lol oh or uh that's fair that's more than fair every time you get a text ringtones were so big like 10 15 years ago but i don't think about them anymore like back in with all nokia phones you could program your ringtone and it was kind of like a cool thing yeah now a ringtone could be any song anything any word any like any audio clip and i don't it's still mortifying every time it goes off like oh shit i'm sorry do you remember did you ever like program in the ringtone or like you get to

choose the notes i didn't do i i guess i i didn't program my own in but i remember like downloading ringtones for like my old uh like not smartphone pre iphone and it cost money yeah you just have to pay for ringtones a ringtone or a text tone is like an alert that tells you to look at your like i don't need an alert to tell me to look at my phone i'm looking at it all the fucking time are you uh are you a vibrate guy or silence guy because i'm looking at my phone anyway uh i'm still i vibrate i'm vibrate you like straight silence you just know to look uh sometimes like i'll put my phone on silent to go to sleep and then i when i wake up i don't put it back on on vibrate for a little bit that's exactly what i just did do you sleep on silent yeah i sleep on

do not disturb i also i don't look at my phone until after breakfast oh really yeah yeah i gotta i'm i'm instantly i'm on that coinbase app with one eye open as you yeah i mean i'm trying i with one this is like it's very nice it's a new thing but that's i i'm gonna sometimes i'm like going to bed and i'm like watching tv and i'm just like i looked at a screen the whole day yeah like i'm i'll be answering emails and i have to use the bathroom and on the walk to the bathroom i have my phone out looking at it yeah it's crazy it is it's so sad well that's a good that's uh that's why i've got to go to burning man again dude that's a good new year's resolution segue do you have any new year's resolutions would it be to look at a screen less or you're not even i um that's a good

one i i have i guess you i always have like a couple things but um i'm narrowing it down i think that i'm gonna try to be friendlier interesting uh i want to like you're pretty friendly as is yeah i'll i'll be at disingenuous you want to be more genuinely no no no not that at all no it'll still be fake more like friendly to um like coffee shop bar uh clothes like people i meet out in the wild i want to be like i want to be a regular in my neighborhood places so what are you now pretty friendly or you just like kind of just stick to yourself don't call me my name i don't call you your name when i'm like getting coffee or something i don't say anything to anybody i'm like i'm when i'm alone

i'm pretty quiet i'm friendly to like the people i know and like when i'm introduced to somebody so you want to be openly friendlier to strangers yeah like when someone's like how uh what do you want i'm like oh i want a whatever coffee also how are you doing today yeah that's what i'm yeah exactly you want to be like the nice guy how's your day going yeah yeah exactly and that shouldn't be that hard because i'm like i am nice and it is free right and then i i also i want to like be more invested in like going out in my neighborhood and making people like me i want to be the mayor you know oh you want to be so who's who are you thinking of when you think of like the ideal amount of nice um the ideal amount of like you want to be are you like thinking of someone

like george basil or someone like george that's too much i can never be as well like this and i wouldn't want to be it seems like it's a lot of pressure maybe like a billy or an adam yeah even that's a very effusively nice that's true so you just want to be i sort of want to be me except two um strangers two yeah and not even strangers but just like uh shops it's a pretty nothing i think about it it's a pretty bad news resolution i want people who own coffee shops to like me more fuck it read more but like in new york i remember i used to be able to go to the whiskey and like as i would walk in the bartenders would pour me a shot of whiskey and like shake my hand like and i don't i've never had that in la um you want to be a regular i've never been a regular

anywhere in la yeah except for starbucks right uh but seanna quit so i and i haven't seen her heard from her in years and you've tried you've reached out i sure have what's your resolution i got two awesome all right next question who came up with the idea for beer uh mine are pretty simple a little uh a little cliche but i'm gonna try to stick to it let's hear it read more cool run more oh run yeah i stopped running because i hurt my foot and i never went back wow so i can read more and i can run more that's great three miles a day 10 pages a day is that your plan sure it is right now i could say anything three miles it is a lot average a lot of running a week though yeah but even if you fall short you're still running

oh three miles a day average yeah average i see yeah that's cool so would you go run two three times a week four times a week yeah whatever i don't know i mean i it would just incentivize me because i can run i can run around the silver lake reservoir for my house and i've never done it yeah i took a walk around it yesterday and beautiful i got a coffee listen to a podcast that's nice it wasn't exactly healthy right but at the very least you walk but i did something yeah and then reading i haven't read in over a year because again always on the phone no time to lift up a book what kind of books do you like when you do read i think i'm going to do non-fiction at first yeah non-fictions yeah i can't get into like a completely fictional story yet you read

some uh john crack hour whom oh the into thin air yeah yeah i did read that you read into thin air did you read uh under the banner of heaven no you would like that book i have a lot of recommendations that are just piling up maybe i'll get through them all yeah i'd really appreciate if you started with john crack hours under the banner of heaven all right i don't know why i uh because like i said i had some other books it's a it's a quick read it's not nothing is a quick read it's a quick read it's 780 pages on i'm at amazon right now it's not a quick read i just bought the second or the third game of thrones book and it's it was like book number three part one i was like fuck that you better send me the whole book and then i looked at the whole book and it's like 1600 pages like part

one's fine let's start with this and see what happens they're so dense they're like 600 700 pages smart people read is the long and the short of it so i'm not i'm dumb and i read yeah all right maybe i'll stop reading here cool uh i got a question first um yes when are you coming back to do a show in london when are you coming back to do a show who wrote that somebody named cameron bloom all right sounds very british yeah that's like the british version of me i want to go i i want to go back to i want to do that i want to yeah can we this is a question for for from me and cameron to you and asking you to email our actually this is fun let's email our agent right now on the podcast wow december the problem is nobody's there nobody's going to answer this email that's true but maybe

he'll see it um well we're going to canada which is like sort of a baby step towards uh london it's like a british commonwealth but we usually do london like every other summer and we didn't do it last summer right oh so we're due i think we should do it maybe after your bachelor party that's cool idea since we'll already be on that side of the universe yeah which i don't know if we updated everybody but we're going to iceland oh you want to officially announce it sure why not i'm not saying when we're going just saying that we're not even saying where we're going in iceland it's a big place who knows what major metropolitan city in iceland will end up at it could be grimzy for all i care it's fucking vik if you can imagine is it yeah is that the black sand one

yeah vik we're spending four weeks in vik for my bachelor party that means i'm missing my wedding but i want to go i think it's been it's been too long since we've been back to london i want to go back i want to do the london dublin manchester well people always tell us to go to scotland and shit too the triple play yes it's true and we've never been there no i think we should yeah we should try to make a little european run in the summer after my bachelor party would be honestly ideal of course of course uh all right let's take a break we'll thank some more sponsors and we'll be back we'll be back with more many more questions after this thank you to aura frames for sponsoring this head gum podcast you know aura frames is sponsoring not just this

episode but the entire head gum network jake wow that's correct i mean this might be the goat father's day gift i think it actually is yeah yeah not just father's day but if for any uh not so tech savvy family member that you need a gift for soon these digital photo frames might be the best of all time yeah for me personally these things are perfect i'll tell you why as you know i am expecting yeah uh my first child we got one for jill's parents oh wow we got one for jill's grandma holy smokes we got one for my parents so there are three of these bad boys uh in our family right now but they are they're great really easy way to like stay in touch with your family you can upload as many photos as you want directly into my parents kitchen it's really nice oh that's

cool so you take a photo of anything perhaps a baby and then it goes to their digital photo yeah frame this is actually how we how we told jill's grandma she was pregnant we got her the aura frame we plugged it in jill's grandma was pregnant really nice asshole this was actually a really sweet moment for me and my wife and you're trying to make a joke of it i was just being goofy a little bit like uh this is how i told my grandma she was pregnant yeah yeah kind of like a she misheard it or something like that or the way you said it was kind of like could go either way by the way jill's grandma is pregnant oh my god jill's grandma is 90 and pregnant it's pretty cool and you told me with a digital photo frame holy smokes and we let her know with an aura yeah

thank you the aura announcement uh so you can instantly frame photos from any device anywhere and invite the whole family in on the fun through the aura app add me to your aura app i'd love to upload just a picture of me like at a pool or something that could be funny yeah like your banana your dog alongside pictures of my daughter yeah yeah exactly you deserve that you can even preload photos and add a personal video message that will display as soon as your dad or anybody connects to the frame yeah it's a great gift a really really iconic gift and right now you can save on the perfect father's day gift and visit aura frames that's a u r a frames dot com and our listeners can use code head gum to get up to thirty dollars off plus free shipping on the best selling frames

there it is oh wow this is timely the deal ends on june 18th so don't wait terms and conditions apply that's aura frames a u r a frames dot com okay go get your parents something all right and use the code head gum for thirty dollars off plus free shipping right on thank you aura and now back to the head gum podcast you were listening to this show is sponsored by better help thank you better help if you're finding yourself in a difficult anxious stressful situation talking to a professional licensed therapist is the best way to navigate yourself out of that difficult place and it's not necessarily easy to find a therapist especially one in your area but better help makes that all easy because it's online therapy designed to be convenient

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but you're still getting professional licensed help and it's extra affordable that's better help h e l p dot com slash if i were you check them out thanks better help and we're back we mentioned the canadian run tickets still available march 6th in winnipeg march 7th in calgary march 8th in vancouver damn let's back to back to back i love that we're doing it in march yeah nice and fucking frigid i want i want that snow i want to see it i think it's gonna be fun uh yeah we're looking forward to those shows um all right gotta here's another question sam mold bingham writes larry david or jerry seinfeld who do you prefer uh i think seinfeld interesting as a human or as a comedian um oh i don't know aren't they like this the exact same as comedians uh they're very

similar i think larry's a little more like george so he's a little more anxious a little more frugal jerry's more like uh oh whatever i don't give a fuck so yeah i think that's what i like that maybe that's why i like him he's a little he's just a little more inherently likeable yeah i'll go larry because to me that is more likeable he's the more like a self-deprecating one and i like that about him plus i like the season of curb and i haven't seen a new season of seinfeld in a while so do you think seinfeld's better than curb though as a show yeah yes great me too uh uh got a question yes from tara is film school worth it i want to go to one that's pretty expensive and i'm trying my best not to think too much about the tuition but it's hard dude oh is like you have we done a

question uh podcast since twitter's up there uh oh yeah the character limit character yeah i guess not it's a little more less of a lightning more of a thunder round very nice uh it seems like a lot of the people we work with did go to film school in terms of film production yeah it's true it's it's interesting because like we're in i mean we're vaguely in like film most more like writing and stuff but like and we you went you went to business school and i dropped out right we were just for us to say like yeah you should go to film school but we also don't do the practical parts of it yeah like shooting editing direct i guess directing yes but but like it's interesting film people think like oh film like that's you're gonna get into the arts but like there's a lot of

fucking money in film yeah uh look at us we're rich beyond all measure and uh oh bitcoin is plummeting okay i'm ruined financially and otherwise we have to go back to the music industry is that it's or the movie industry is like a big there's a there's a lot of like jobs to be had and so if you go to film school and you're good at one of the jobs to be had in the industry yeah then i think i i don't think it's like any dumber than going to be an accountant yeah it seems like one of the practical schools unless you're talking about film theory school in which case don't do that what is film theory like when you study film and then like write critic critical essays about it that definitely feels pretty stupid yeah because what all you can do is like write stuff no one will read

and talk and talk and nobody wants to talk to you right of course of course um a lot of people would disagree with us but you know what you're not listening to their podcast they're right because it's boring 10 more minutes of that um favorite birthday presents from each other writes mean musical nerd wait what's that favorite birthday present from each other ooh nothing's gonna top my giving you the water pick i think you really like that i do love the water pick but it did break yeah but but even as a broken object it lasted you longer than most gifts have lasted you yeah i guess i also like the year that you got me the got rings shirt from the

uh uh the yankees t-shirt that was good got rings uh and then in terms of gifts that you've given me yeah can't recall even one wow that's amazing kind of fucked up there was a gift every single year it was a tie clip in there at one point that was one of the first gifts i ever get because you were into madmen uh i was really thoughtful the uh running shorts at one point i used them as a com rag why twice that's still getting pretty useful what's wrong with your semen i well it was an acidy thick stream and then what else what else we got what i get you this year what did you get me um oh squatty potty oh that's good yeah i used the squatty potty all right i'll use squatty potty thank you um got a good one i've recently lost 90 pounds and i'm looking good until i lose the

shirt then i go from a six and a half to a four my new year's resolution is to get swole and jacked what workout plan do you recommend ooh to get swole and jacked i like i there's something great about the classic the classic new year's resolution of just getting fucking ripped shredded hot sexy yeah i tried to do that last year and i got i got a i got months in but i'm not pretty jacked yeah i got pretty jacked but i never got shredded ripped crazy i never like went to the fucking like seven days a week balls to the wall absolute protein shakes every day are you gonna try to do that this year well now i'm gonna try to run more so you're gonna go back now i feel like i'm out of yeah i'm out of cardio shape i feel like so i'm gonna try to still do the weight

lifting but sacrifice some of that for like sweating because i didn't sweat a lot um but exercises i don't know there's a lot of apps that like kind of keep you on your toes and like i do recommend doing some plan because when you go to the gym you're like i'll just exercise until i'm tired you never really push yourself but if you're like trying to follow the numbers on the app where you're like i only need to do 12 i need to do 10 that's when you push yourself and like pushing yourself beyond the level of casual exhaustion is when when you get shredded and ripped bodybuilding.com has an app that that i like uh i mean usually i climb but sometimes when i when i just work out there's like they have they have a lot of workouts that are pretty solid um body

building.com yeah it's like the bodybuilding.com app for your iphone i use that sometimes um i also think that like the first thing i ever did to try to get in shape was just get a pull up bar in my house i think that's the best thing you possibly do that's good but that only that does like back in buys yeah it does it's not gonna it's not gonna do it's not gonna do everything but it like will it starts to change your body in a way that like makes you excited about working out and like finishing the job yeah um what's the best advice for someone starting out trying to make youtube videos their lives writes forward life best advice for someone starting out trying to make youtube videos their lives i don't know i honestly don't know we didn't do that yeah like we backed into it through

making videos for college humor yeah we never tried to make viral videos or anything yeah mine would always my advice would always be to like get hired somewhere that pays you to make content that they have a channel for yeah but they're not going to hire you unless you're doing it for free right but it's in i so i just don't i just don't fucking know like we i don't think we would have been able to just like put our videos on youtube and yeah and like has the vlogging train left the station like can can you no longer start a vlog because like nobody will see it i guess if it's good and you're vlogging somebody will find it maybe or maybe it is like it's really maybe you have to like i guess do what makes you happy what makes it fun for you to do

and then if it's good people will find it but that's kind of general yeah but i mean that's like that's the case with most art and creative things true true true so make stuff that you like and then try to find whether it's youtube instagram twitter vine rip or submitting it to random websites and stuff i miss vine um would you rather says got them bar got them out too oh really yeah it's kind of crazy would you rather live in any one city as a billionaire and never leave or travel the world with a budget of ten dollars per day for the rest of your life um one city as a billionaire yeah and never leave or travel the world with a budget of ten dollars per day for the rest of your life how would i so i'd have to be homeless in all those other cities no you can you know you

could you have the money you have now and then you get ten dollars per day but i yeah eventually run out of cash so it's like be a billionaire or be like a wandering destitute person not destitute but like hostile style ten dollars a day is destitute all right let's say it's a hundred dollars a day all right awesome billionaire i just want this kind of hard question i just like like would you rather be a fucking loaded dude who can't leave la or new york ever or um like live in hostels but you can travel to thailand wherever i guess you know thailand and the other places yeah it would the traveling shit would get old after a week yeah if i'm eating fucking noodles for breakfast and rice for lunch cash me in la i'm feeling fucking large that's the thing i would

be a billionaire but i do it in a fucking crazy ass city like i would bring shit to shanghai yeah that way i'm traveling and i'm this way i get to travel to china once and i'm staying there uh yeah i would do i'd travel i think though i would do one city as a billionaire for sure i know i would regret it but i feel like i just don't like the idea of closing off myself through the whole world i could never yeah at the very least you can say you'll you can just answer that question as a traveler because you don't actually have to do it oh yeah that's true so say it i would i could never ever sacrifice travel i have a wanderlust i would be a homeless person in southeast asia i don't even need the ten dollars a day you can give that you could give that to charity because i'll

pitch my tent on the beach i'll sleep and i'll sleep underneath the stars and i'll fish and i'll eat sand because that's what i need to survive and i love it because i'm not i'm not attached to any place all i need is my pentax camera and uh and a cup of joe forty dollars a day and some i want a billion dollars too i really would still want that and i'll live in i'll live in fucking new york city uh do you have a question um yeah of course this this dude got to him had he has a bunch he's tweeting at us a bunch with these uh cash related questions okay that's interesting that's really fun would you rather work every day for a year eight hours and 365 days and get 500 000 at the end of the year or have to take a whole year off and get 30 000 at the end of

the year the work is data entry in a cubicle no time off for lunch but you can eat non-hot food at your desk non-hot he's specifying the temperature of the food we get to eat can be warm uh so would you sacrifice a year of your life to make half a million dollars or would you just take a vacation and sacrifice that half a mil oh good question i think this is when i go when i go a little bit more less money inclined i think i take a year off and make 30 grand interesting yeah because i think i would i would be too sad for a year to do data entry seven days a week 365 yeah and eat a non-hot food lunch at my desk you tell me the lunch can be a fucking panini and i'm back in but you're right i'm out i need i'm taking the year off to toast that sandwich i need a hot salad

i'm begging you uh all right what else you got planning an east coast trip soon any cities besides the normal tourist spots that are a good idea to check out ps any chance you'll guys will come back to las vegas soon we didn't do a show in las vegas did we never we should do that as soon as possible um east coast trip where else do you want to visit other than new york new york dc philly boston uh i guess vermont's like really nice vermont new hamshare are cool to see yeah main portland main yeah just keep going up north it's a it's more uniquely beautiful than anything you can see anywhere else in america yeah the hudson valley all those uh upstate upstate cities are cool too hudson valley berkshires um luke lukey linden writes who came up with the idea for the

beer script and how long did it take you to shoot oh wow you sort of predicted that somebody was going to ask this no i read that okay beer that was like one of our first videos uh maybe it was based on me not liking beer uh i don't remember how long it took to shoot back then we shot like everything we just ran through it twice yeah right like 23 minutes to shoot uh and it shows um yeah all those ideas back then were just based on like things that you would do to impress me right it's like i'm trying to act cool you're trying to be my friend uh let's see let's see tv lab sam writes what is something new you have learned about each other this past year something new you learned about me or me learned about you in the last year did we learn anything

new about each other um that's a tough one don't make me think about our relationship that's too intimate it makes me very uncomfortable what did i learn about you i don't know should we come back to that one i don't yeah i don't think i learned anything new about you in the last five years or if it if you did then it was non-eventful um what else we got here where is ravens nest i think it's in the same place we left it you think ravens nest is back on the market oh did it wasn't it did we ever say what the street was really called oh i guess we can now that we don't live near it we were talking about it so much and we did but we didn't want to talk about it because we didn't want to say the real address because then if we lived if we actually

did live in ravens nest yeah it was it would be too too open but it was called ivern s yeah i nvern s i n z e r n e s s which is like it was i remember thinking that the bit was so much stronger with i nvern s because that's such a funny name and now ravens nest has become the new normal ravens s is pretty good too uh marz writes why does the headgum office bathroom only carry one ply toilet paper wait sorry marissa oh our producer writes why does headgum office bathroom only carry one ply because marty orders the tp and he's a cheap ass cock a cheapy tp that's why marz too i thought we had some nice toilet paper no our toilet paper is pretty you know what i've been using the hand towel so i don't even notice the tp situation you sorry i don't use the ur yeah i use

the squatty potty all right you don't uh i don't need to wipe see here i get so much splash back it's like a fucking natural bidet joe kirk patrick writes what are your overwatch mains um i'm at uh j dog money h r yeah uh rifle slinging tote bagger and i'm coral gun and look for me cash me outside the game cash me inside inside gameplay and then if i'm like doing like some noob shit where i'm like trying to like figure out my are you a striker or defense yeah so are you are you mining thick fuzzy gun is my is my handle when it comes to that uh annamichael writes what kind of shampoo do you use head and shoulders baby really yeah holy shit head and shoulders two and one i guess that answers my last question something i learned about

you oh yeah that's true are you doing the daily shampoo or are you going like the new school which is like shampoo once a week i do i i go daily oh you're back you're you're zinging back to yeah before i was before i was like once before i was once a week but like i think everybody's hair is just different and you're like you i don't think my hair is good when it's greasier yeah it just like goes flat on my head my hair is better when it's a little drier yeah a drier i need the poof i need the volume yeah um i use keels some sort of keels i bought a lot of it and i've been just milking it oh yeah that's fancy as shit yeah go for it treat yourself you're worth it um what else what else we got any other ones towards the end over here how's

lonely in horny season two come on what's up great great question thank you their twitter handle is just merry christmas we are uh christina we are in the process of editing it post-production as they call it putting it all together the season looks funny it's going to be good and i'm very optimistic and very excited for people to watch it excited for yeah lots of great cameos too um all the friends that we couldn't get in season one are in this season some familiar headgun podcaster faces yeah the and the new friends we've made since we did season one that's right uh we do have some fun cameos yeah i'm excited to just like put a trailer on there so people get like a taste of everything yeah that'll be good uh should we look for one more question

each all right that's fun um hmm let's see here i don't like this horse size this or this size that yeah yeah that's true favorite jay cameo we've we've answered that one a lot how dare you is kind of funny but not really real question i like this one from uh somebody named another person named christina but it's a different one yeah she said the best what's your best memory from 2017 ooh best memory from 2017 was the election in 2017 or that was 2016 how that was november could you even that was the worst that was a w what a shitty night that we're trying to think about what else is what could top that i'm just sort of going through oh what about doug jones beating roy more i did i cried happy tears that night that's it's hard to beat that

when uh when a democrat takes alabama yeah i like when uh if we're talking political stuff john mccain uh killing health care with his final vote that's good that's our colin to help too um but that was that that was like a nice fun dramatic moment the thumb up then into the thumb down yeah that was that was a good old time what about that's cheering yeah shooting shooting lonely and horny i don't know if there was one highlight but starting to shoot that again was really fun that's true and i'm looking through my uh photos that i took in 2016 there's there are some really nice memories i went to a beautiful wedding i don't know that was that was fine not a fun oh i got engaged really i just scrolled that back i got into august and yeah there it is

i don't know that wedding you attended was my maybe the highlight that was two weeks after we got engaged uh if you could have any celeb on the podcast writes king shell who would it be you can include dead people oh um not really dead but matt daemon oh yeah especially now he's that now that he's in the news he's in the news yeah he said some pretty unwoke things and uh people are not taking too kindly to him they can come on our podcast and sort of clarify his statements no never mind he's not allowed have you seen the trailer for downsizing yeah i looked really good yeah i wonder if i could still see it without feeling bad about myself you can't uh all right you got a last one um what's the last i already had a last question

it was best memory of two set 2017 yeah that was a good one and i just found another one i mean my brother when we rented the west phalia uh are you should everyone should do this go through your photos for the last year people and just feel grateful be happy of yourself uh podcast maybe we'll do a quick podcast um what's it called pod podcast resolution i still want to maybe get into the idea of segments i know we constantly tease it and talk about it i think some segments some new segments to breathe some new life into the podcast is a good idea tender bios tender bios would be a good one maybe we can introduce one segment every episode and then see which one sticks the best you know it'd be fun is if we had like a little a little wheel of segments oh and we spin it so

it's like first first half is we answer questions and the second half is wheel of segments yeah that's good but we need so we need some suggestions suggested for suggested segments i wonder if we're allowed to just read like one of the segments is read a jake and a mere fan script oh that'd be good i was also thinking un un what's it called un unsomething advice like advice that people didn't ask for oh unsolicited yeah unsolicited advice like one bit of advice that people didn't necessarily ask for but we can give that could be a good one that's cool we could do like a passive aggressive thing like unsolicited advice for you yeah like you need to stop farting as much right and then it gives people something to look forward to like i listen to some pot basketball

podcasts that have good segments like the starters have really good segments and then twinnovation is really good segments yeah they have all the lead in the music catch of the day yeah we can get some music all right that's that's that's my podcast resolution all right breathe new life into the podcast my podcast resolution is i'm gonna start five new podcasts what the fuck are you talking about the daily monday with jake the daily monday the every other tuesday with jake and that's every wednesday what what wednesday that'll be my thursday morning show freaky friday that's thursday every other thursday and then tipsy thursday tipsy thursday and then my daily show which launches every third saturday it's called the jake daily i'm gonna do a i'm gonna

do a podcast called the daily monday i want to get to be every wednesday i really want to really want to do daily monday podcast uh all right that's it thanks for listening thanks for being with us happy new year uh opening theme songs written by mike this closing one is a elvis parody i can't help falling in love theme parody hell yeah uh send send us some more send us some more theme songs we're running low and uh send us some more questions everything is if i were you show at gmail.com ciao see y'all soon everybody you that was a hit gum podcast