If I Were You - Introducing: The Pit Wall [Pilot]

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

Some of you asked for it; we needed zero excuse to record it. Have a listen to The Pit Wall, a Headgum original pilot! Headgum's Jake Hurwitz, Geoffrey James, Marika Brownlee, Andrew Pile and Casey Donahue discuss and recap the latest Formula 1 Grand Prix and all the little boys who drive the little cars. Join them as they recap the 2022 Belgian Grand Prix and discuss Lewis Hamilton's traipse through the Ardennes Forest, how Jake wants Toto Wolff to choke him, and where we think Daniel Ricciardo should go after this year. If you want more episodes of The Pit Wall, let us know by subscribing to and rating the show on Apple Podcasts and Spotify! You can also tweet at us, but only if it includes your favorite photo of Guenther Steiner smiling.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum original. Fuck, that was a start. You just started it, bro. Oh shit, it just looked okay. You're in. Hey, broom, broom, beep, beep. Welcome to the pit wall. They don't have horns.

It would be amazing if they had horns, just Alonso laying on the horn at Hamilton. It's like when they wave to each other when they go by, instead it's just a really long horn. The finger. Hey everybody, welcome to the pit wall. This is an F1 podcast for the casual fan. What does that mean?

It means we don't know what we're talking about. Yeah, we don't know what we're talking about. We don't want to do any research. But we like these boys and like to watch them go around. If you can't handle me, if you can't handle me at my hot takes, you don't deserve me at my nuanced opinions. Yeah.

How do you guys feel about that? It says that on your shirt. That was beautiful. Really? I thought I came up with it independently. Alright, so to get things started, we are going to listen to a prediction that Jake made after qualifying yesterday.

That's right. So every single episode we're going to kick it off with a prediction that someone has made from the day before. Post-Quality. Yes. Now I'm going to take a second to figure out how to share this. I would like to say up top that I think

I had a hard week because literally no one started in a position where they qualified in. Sorry, you did your prediction based on their actual qualifying position and didn't take into account penalties. No, I took into account the grid position, but it really threw everything off. You look at their starting positions and it's all out of whack. No smug I've ever seen, Marika.

Sorry, you didn't take into account penalties. Jeff just lied down. It's really early for Jeff and I. The race started and the sun was not up. That's the fun of it. I went to bed at 3 and woke up at 5.45. Jesus. I knew you were going to say something like that.

It's Saturday night, right? I'll be up for the race. I'll be up for the pod. Yeah, I went to bed early because I knew I had to be up and record a podcast and here we are doing it and I believe I have Jake's prediction here. Let's take a listen. Hey everybody, Jake here.

These are my predictions for the Belgian Grand Prix. We've got, did not finish. Unfortunately for him, Jou did not finish. Unfortunately for him, Schumacher did finish, but in 18th, we've got Latifi, 17th, Salnode, 16th, Botas, hate to say it. I hate to see it. 15th, we've got Okan, 14th, Albin, 13th,

the Hass of Kevin, Magnas, 12th, Stroll, even though you know I'm a Stroll troll and I have been from day one. 11th, Vettel, 10th, hate to say this as well. It's Ricardo. I wish you could have done better, but you didn't. You finished 10th at Spa.

9th, we've got Lanso, 8th, Gasly, 7th, Duh. It's Lando Norris. 6th, George Russell, 5th, Leclerc, Bummer. Bummer for everybody. 4th, Perez, 3th, Hamilton. He found a way to the podium, folks. Number one, the Ferrari of Carlos Sainz. My God, with his second win.

Incredible for the Spaniard. Could have been true. It was true for like a third of the race. It was close. You know, it was really, it was eerily accurate. Eerily accurate. Yeah. I nailed Latifi's place.

Yeah. Weird one to nail, I guess. How many G&Fs were there in that prediction? Three. Two. There were two. So I knew Latifi was going to come to dead last. So I was basically predicting two did not finish, which was also accurate.

Just got the folks who did it wrong. Sure. Yeah. Okay. So we're at loose with what accurate means here. I like those predictions. They were bold for a race that was, I think, hard to predict what was going to happen. Kevin Magnasson is really good.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. The first lap of that race was, it really, I feel like there was so much action in that first, in the first two laps that I thought it was going to be a really good, exciting race. And then basically laps two through 42 were, or 44, not that fun.

Yeah. It could have been worse though. How so? I feel like the first couple races I watched were kind of deeply boring. No movement. No story of, you know, Verstappen coming back from P14 for the win, which I hate to see, but it is a story, not really. Right.

And I had fun. I like that towards the end of the race, Crofty literally blamed Max for a boring race. I really liked that. He was like, I'm just kidding, but also, come on. Yeah. I mean, is he a minute and a half behind most of the field, or ahead of most of the field? Yeah. Yeah.

That's awesome. How did he get that far? I'm so excited for my later segment. You have a segment? Not my segment. The later segments and mine for one of them. Oh, I see. I just found out there's a button on top.

Nice. Can you guess what it does? Had you been talking at all? I was so quiet. I commented on the Joe Gran you. Should we say who we are? This turns off every 10 seconds. This is going to be an interesting podcast for me.

The mic turns off? Yeah. It keeps turning off. That's our sexy yo, everybody. Andrew Pyle. Yeah, I had like a couple of pretty good cracks in there. I was kind of surprised you guys didn't react at all. So yeah, it's kind of like, that's a shame.

Radio silence. It'll be amazing for us. I thought your Zoom was frozen, actually. I'm Jeffrey Plan G. James. That was the segment? No. I feel like we should do it. We should have just done these fast.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It should have been top of the show kind of situation. This is probably conscious about racing. Here we like to take our time. Yeah, we all work in podcasting and we're all very good at it. But it's a pilot. We're allowed to make mistakes.

So from now on, we'll always introduce ourselves after the first segment. Yeah. Yeah, we have to set up the format. The show. Right. Yeah. I'm Jake. I nailed the predictions and the pronunciation of Joe Granjou.

Joe Granjou is so bad. It's better than when you were saying zoo, but it's still not correct. Yeah. Joe Granjou. Is that it? There's no R. It's like, it's Joe Guan Yu. Guan?

Wow. I thought it was like... Joe Guan Yu. The middle name was after the Grand Prix. You know what, Jake? I feel for you because I feel like there's so many different accents in F1 that anytime anyone says anyone's name, I am constantly feeling like, I don't know. I don't know what's going to sound like when I say their name.

Yeah. I feel like I've said Riccardio for such a long time just because there's a weird eye in there. People say Leclerc. Yeah, Leclerc, Leclerc, Charles. Yeah. There's Naomi say Leclerc today and I was like, isn't it Leclerc? Or is it Leclerc?

Yeah. It's whatever you want it to be. I guess. Nobody makes any of these pronunciations from fucking Crofty, right? That seems... No, he screws up a lot too. Yeah. He said...

I believe he said that... No, yeah. He said George Russell was in a Williams, then he corrected himself to McLaren. Yeah, summer break, they're all coming back. It's fine. It's only two weeks, right? I think it was like a whole month. Three, it's like a whole month, yeah.

Danny Rick was in LA. Last race was July 31st. Yeah, and signs learned to like foil board, so that's a good amount of time. I also heard that he was learning signs language. Really? I don't know if I introduced myself, I'm Casey. Hold on, I think Pyle's mic turned off again, because you didn't really... No, we were actually kind of in...

Really? Yeah, because Jeff made the signs language joke and it wasn't a reaction, so I couldn't tell if it had turned off or not. Yeah, no, it's working fine. It's picking up every breath, so... All right, let's talk about this race, huh? We got a... What was it?

The Belgian Grand Prix. The Rolex Belgian Grand Prix. Oh, wow, that must be your favorite race. They all have Rolex branding on them. No, this was the Rolex Grand Prix. This was the Rolex Pirelli Belgian Grand Prix. Jeff, do you want to hit us with your track-based joke that you texted the group? Oh, I said this track doesn't look very relaxing.

You know, Spa and all. We post out to two strangers of any... Pyle's mic turned off again. I mean, can you pronounce... Can anyone pronounce the full name of this track correctly? Spa-Franco-Sham. Spa-Franco-Sham. It's close.

Frank Ocean. I didn't even know Spa was it. Frank Ocean. Because it's French. French, yeah. It's the French part of Belgium. Interesting. I didn't know that Spa was...

Yeah, go for it. I said, I think Spa looks awesome. It sucks that it's in Belgium. Why? I don't know. I just think Belgium's a really boring place. I do want to go to Spa. That is one of...

It looks awesome. There's some geopolitical thing that I'm unaware of in regards to the French region of Belgium, but it's just that you think it's boring. Yeah. It looks beautiful. I don't think they should have known. Only anti-Belgium podcast.

Well, the whole thing is like, should it be taken off the... Would you say that you brussel at Belgium? Like bristle? I brussel at the thought of Belgium. I just think it seems like a very boring country and there would be nothing else to do except go see. No, but in all seriousness,

I really do think that Belgium sucks. Serious ass. Doubling down. All jokes aside. But next year, it's still on the calendar. That was a point of... Yeah, they made a point to say that. In decision for a while.

I was looking... Sorry. I was just going to say that I noticed during qualifiers and practice, they talked about how they changed the track. They changed, you know, they added that big gravel trap area and that really seemed to affect the race today a bit.

Mm-hmm. On Valtteri Botas' birthday no less, he got stuck in the gravel. Not cool. And it's... I hate to say this, but the race is not even the first DNF, the last DNF that Botas is going to get today.

Because I think that him not finishing at the race is going to haunt him so much that when he goes to have birthday sex tonight, he's also not going to finish. Wow. Wow. Yeah. A DNF on your birthday sex.

Imagine that. I do think his wife, Pasteur, I'm trying to find it. I briefly saw another naked photo of him on Instagram. So I think he's probably going to be fine. Whatever the equivalent of this is going to happen to his wife. Getting rammed?

Yeah, who's his wife in that photo? Just kind of like going like... Oh, God. I'm going to get this thing back on track. Back on track. Very nice. Thank you so much. So we're going to talk about the race.

We were going to go in reverse order. Cool. How's that sound to you guys? Love it. Love it. I do need to remember everyone's place. I got the list right here. Hamilton was last.

I feel like Moog going in reverse order for this race, it's like the DNFs are what was the most exciting thing about the race. It was the very beginning of the race. And then everything just kind of ended up being as if it was a standard qualifier or something. All the back of the track stuff, all the excitement that I thought was going to happen

about, wow, Max has to race to the front to get points and then the safety car just reset everything back to normal. Yeah. Max raised to the front in the first five laps. It's fucking insane. I do feel like they gave him too much credit because of that safety car. Yeah.

But it was impressive how quickly it happened, but a lot of it was the safety car. I mean, he made up five places off the start, right? He was on mediums, I think. Oh, no, he was on softs. He was the only person up front. He and Carlos were the only people on soft, so for the restart, I mean, I don't know.

But it was cool. It's fine. Leclerc did feel really bad for Hamilton. No, Carlos was. Yeah. Interesting. Speaking of Hamilton, he came in 20th DNF. We saw he went flying through the air a little bit.

You guys feel like he, I guess in his post race, he just took credit or took the blame for that accident. He's like, yeah, he's in my blind spot. I thought it was really cool. In my notes, I have Lewis, good exclamation points, and then I have depressed exclamation points, and then I have, it doesn't really matter what he said, which is what he said to stop the interviewer from.

They're trying to. Like trying to dig up drama between him and Fernando, and then I was like, that's cool. Yeah. For a guy who just crashed into somebody, Fernando spent a long time. It was a pretty nuanced insult from the car. Yeah.

He had that one in the pocket already. He was ready to play that. Yeah. I feel like he said, he has said that about Lewis before, and that was his opportunity to say it over the radio. Wait, what did he say? He said he only knows how to race from the front. Yeah.

Well, no, it's he specifically, he said this guy only knows how to drive and start in first, which is like. He also called him an idiot. He won the Brazilian Grand Prix from basically like 25th place, which is impossible. In the back and then he had like a sixth place penalty or something crazy like that. Yeah, that was awesome.

That was a good race. Also, Hamilton refused to go to the medical tent or something like that. So like the alarm in his car went off because it was such an intense smash for him. And like now, I guess he got like a warning from the FIA for not going to the tent. But also like, I wonder if the metal car tried

to pick him up on his walk back. Through the forest. Right. He knew what he needed, which was a walk through the woods. He just needed to be alone with his thoughts for a little bit. I liked that they called him for Lauren looking when he was walking back. I'd like to see him at like an aquarium

sort of being triggered by the porpoises. Because that's still the issue with Mercedes right now, right? Yeah. Did they figure it out? I think there's just everything as an issue. Yeah. It seemed like today a lot of drivers were dealing with porpoising.

Yeah. Everyone seemed real bouncy out there. Yeah. And some of the drivers lack porpoise, a sense of porpoise anyway. Right. Daniel Ricardo. We'll talk about it.

He has a lack of porpoise. Yeah. Yeah. Let's keep moving through this grid. We got Bottas in 19th, also DNF. I don't remember how he DNFed. What happened there? He DNFed because he was just avoiding the collision.

Who was it between Latifi and... Yeah, Latifi spun out. And Bottas had to go off the track. And did his best to crash into Valtteri. Yeah. Seemingly. And then they were both kind of off the track. And then you just see Latifi speed away.

It was pretty fun. Yeah. Yeah. Basically just didn't do anything. There wasn't even a collision, right? It was just like... Latifi tried to deliver a birthday card. It's like screaming happy birthday.

Happy birthday as it's healed out. Pumping his horn. It's a birthday song. As he rejoins the race, suffering no fucking consequences. But also no rewards. Yeah. I believe Latifi... I mean, I guess finishing the race is a reward.

Yeah. Latifi is, I think, the only person who does not have points yet this season. Yes. Latifi... I don't have those points up, but he did come in 18th, so that he's next on our grid. So... Yeah. He's also...

I mean, the amazing thing about Latifi is that he's so inconsequential, but creates so much shit around him that he's basically a factor in every single race. Yeah. Yeah. There's nobody else like that, that is like the worst driver, but also so bad that they cause fucking mishaps for everybody. He has the shittest touch. For sure.

What kind of touches do you have, Jeff? He has the shittest touch. So everything he touches turns to shit. That's good. Shittest touch. I like that a lot. Did you just go up your phone? Was that on there as a...

No, that was Kayla playing Wordle. Yeah. Which, can some administrator take me out of that fucking channel? I don't think we're going to... I can't leave it because I'm a recurring guest or whatever. That's still going on, that channel? Oh my God. Yeah.

That channel is mostly Marika and Kayla. It's me and Kayla. It's just playing frames. I've been so proud of myself because I followed Jake's unsolicited advice from if I were you to unsubscribe from emails. I've been getting no notifications except for Kayla and fucking Marika doing like the pictorial. I know what you're...

You can mute channels. Okay, I'll do that. So you can just do that. I'll remove you from the channel. I'm an admin. I'll remove you. Thank you. I know that's in my mindset that you're going for.

She wants out. This is an F1 podcast, but Marika, I'm sorry. You single-handedly ruined the Wordle Slack channel for me. I know. I know. Okay, we talked about it. All right, cool. It's fine.

Yeah. I still play Wordle, but I've created a system where I'm just trying to do it as fast as possible. I do the same three words for the first three things. It gets me all five letters, and then I'm like, okay, can I figure this out? Number four, I usually do, and I'm done in less than a minute. It's more of a speed thing for me now. Right.

Yeah. The new way I do it is I guess two words, and if I don't really know what's happening after that, I just don't play for the day. And that's kind of nice. Right. And that's sort of a DNF in a different way. Yeah. Yeah.

I do a DNF, and then I go and try to have sex with Jill, and I can't get hard, and I ... The safety cards to come by. The law's wrong to me. Number 17 on the grid, Mick Schumacher. Yeah. He had a pretty good moment, I think, with Latifi, where he passed him. I was really proud of him. It was like a nice clean pass somewhere in the middle of the race.

I've got a nickname for Mick. It's the prodigal dumb. That's very good. I do love it. He's got real golden retriever puppy energy. Yeah. Yeah. I think Schumacher ...

It's a happy dumb. Yeah. But what Schumacher is, I think, is what George Russell wants everyone to think he is. Yeah. George Russell wants to be the little golden boy, but Schumacher actually just is. So what is George, actually, then? A better driver? Yeah.

He's a better driver, for sure. Oh, yeah. He's kind of like a hollow man. Yeah. It's the thing of George Russell being his good old man. Yeah. What's your problem with me, man? Do you not like me?

It's like, I don't think about you. Everyone's supposed to like me. I'm George Russell. Yeah. Also, isn't his girlfriend insanely hot, but he looks like a frog? He's kind of hot. All their girlfriends are insanely hot. But I think his is specifically really attractive, and he, to me, looks like some kind of amphibian.

Max's girlfriend isn't hot. Well, he's busted as fuck. Max's girlfriend is a whole other thing that will take too long to get into. It's its own segment. It really is. Number 16 on the grid. Another Haas. Kevin Magnuson.

What happened, Dan? I don't see a whole race for Haas. Didn't we feel like at the beginning of the season, they're finishing in the points. We're like, oh my god, like Ferrari and Haas. That's what this season's going to be. A couple weeks ago, it seemed like Haas was getting faster. And those Haas boys were given some interesting soundbites. Some really fun, like we're going to win, even though it's like you're not.

But I love the energy. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like, I don't remember if it was yesterday during qualifying, or today, but they were talking to Good Thor, and I feel like he felt, he seemed like he felt pretty confident when they were doing like the pit wall conversations. He always seems confident, and that's honestly why I think he's my favorite F1 character. Yeah, for sure. I feel like every Friday of race weekend, yeah, he thinks that they might get a podium.

And then every Sunday evening, he's like, he wants to kill himself. Like he needs to be a little more even keeled, I think. And Monday morning, he forgets what happened. Yeah. He just does it all over again. Exactly. It's pretty baller. Number 15.

This is so sad. Here we go. I got a lot said. P6 to P15. Danny Ricardo. He had a good race for most of it. I mean, like he still fell down to like 9, 10, 8, 9, 10. I didn't notice what happened that got him back to 15, but...

Yeah, I don't know either. And the week after, or the week after, or the second week after they announced he's not returning to McLaren, I was like, what if he gets like P6 or stays at least in the points? Yeah, would be great, but no. Yeah, I was hoping for like a revenge place. Yeah, I did want him to win a bit. Yeah, I was really... And it looks like he only did one pit stop.

That's really sad. I don't know what that is. That's probably why, because maybe his tires are gone. Yeah. But it made me sad hearing the commentators being like, there might be a place for Daniel Ricardo at Williams. I'm like, kidding me? Just retire.

And then there were like, yeah, Williams, Haas. Haas would be cool. Haas. Haas or Haas, folks. I think... I don't know. I mean... Haas.

The house of car. I am admittedly really like whatever about Daniel Ricardo, but I feel like he should have just retired a long time ago. I don't know. Like the fact that he jumped from so many different teams is just like, what are you doing? I agree. I don't think he should have left Renault for this time period.

Yeah. Leaving Renault was... He shouldn't have left Red Bull, clearly. Yeah, that was so stupid. Dude, that was his own choice. Yeah. That's kind of cuckoo. But I was never...

I wasn't like... I didn't brussel at confident Ricardo, but I didn't really think about him. I really feel for sad Ricardo. Yeah. Yeah. When Danny is sad, it makes... I'm just like, I feel sad.

I'm a real Danny iPad. Did you guys see the video that he posted where he's like, hey guys, just want you to hear it from me? He's just like, you're the last person I'm hearing it from. So, so sad. Yeah. The fake smiles. Even in that video, he like...

When he's talking about like, I don't know what my future holds, he like really seems like he's like... He really doesn't know. I don't... It might be my last season, just because I might not have a team to go to, is what I read between the lines. And it's like...

He should do a formula E. He's perfect for formula E. He is perfect for formula E. It's just like that personality is like, it needs people like that. Yeah. Just wacky. It's already like pretty wacky.

Yeah. I don't think he has enough of a personality to be like a standout racer. Like he's not like a media star to me. Yeah, he can. He's basically like, he's the most charismatic formula one driver. Where like, you know,

not a lot of the other ones are George Russell. Checo and George Russell. Yeah. He has a TV show being made about him or something though. Like a sitcom or something. Really? Yeah, Hulu. Hulu show.

Wait, a Danny Ricardo Hulu show? Yeah. I don't know if it's about him, but he's like working on a Hulu show. I thought it was a formula one sitcom. I mean, I think, yeah, it's a formula one scripted series in the works at Hulu with Daniel Ricardo developing.

Which Jake you really should staff on. Yeah, I would love to. I'm gonna, I'll email my agent after this. Maybe, maybe she'll finally get back to me. Yeah. He seems like a great fit for TV. Like it seems like, you know, if he retires from racing,

I'm like, I'll be seeing this guy around on Netflix or Hulu or, I don't know, he'll bring Quibi back or something. Paramount Plus. I'd be happy to see him. Paramount Plus. For sure. Paramount Plus.

Next on the grid, we've got Joe Gwanyu. Joe Gwanyu. Joe Gwanyu. Joe Gwanyu. And I'm honestly basing it off of what David Croft says. So I could also be wrong.

But I remember there was a whole thing at the beginning of the season where like, they were explaining how to say his name, but then kept messing it up. It was just like, this shouldn't be this hard guy. Yeah. We have to have him on the podcast. It's the only way we can know for sure.

Yeah. Yeah. He seems really cool. Yeah, he finished 14th. Yeah. Good race. Qualified 13th. That I predicted he wouldn't finish.

Yeah. So a better, better turnout than Jake predicted. And really, that's all you can ask for. Yeah. I owe you two apologies, sir. Next up, number 13, Yuki Sonoda. Boo. I hate Yuki.

You hate it? I like it. Yuki. Him and the drivester survived season four. I was just like, he's such a little shit. Yeah. Yeah, he's a literal child. He's so young, though.

Don't get, I don't. Well, he's not that young. He's like fucking 19. That's pretty young to be driving race cars internationally. Or enough to know at the highest level. Just be eating like Dunkaroos all the time or whatever. He has Justin Bieber energy. Like, you know, remember the story of Justin Bieber

pissing in a mop, mop bucket backstage or whatever? Yeah. Like that's the type of shit that Sonoda would do. He's just kind of like a dickhead. But that bodes well for his glow up when he's like 28. And he has like a face tattoo and it's really cool. I mean, also, also we have to look at Max Verstappen, who like three years ago punched Esteban Ocon,

like, and now is like relatively even keel. Verstappen is even keel? I mean, in comparison to three years ago, Verstappen. Yeah, I guess now it's not punching anyone anymore. Well, I think it helps if you're like over a hundred points in the lead for the drivers. I mean, I don't know if helmet, if helmet Marco tried to find a psychiatrist for you,

maybe that's what he did for Verstappen. Maybe the team psychiatrist is doing great stuff. That's what I'm saying though. Like, don't make this fucking 80 year old bag like. Babysit you and teach you manners. I hate helmet Marco. Helmet Marco sucks. It's like, it's not Catillion, it's Formula One.

You should come ready and know how to show up for your work where you get paid so much. What prepares you to be in Formula One as an 18 year old? Come ready? I don't know what Formula Three was before. Formula One. So yeah, what was he driving before Formula One? Was he in Formula Three?

I think they come through the driver's program, right? Because it's Red Bull's driver's program. I mean, it's Alpha Tori. So it's, I think they... He did the Formula Three series in 2019 and then the Toyota Racing series in 2020. Which I guess is Formula Two. Question mark?

I don't know. I'm looking at Wikipedia. So he did some of them. But yeah, he's still, he was still a child. Still is a child, I would say. Yeah. He should still be karting. Stay in your lane, Yuki.

He doesn't quite have Gen Z energy. It's still, it's like below Gen Z energy. That's what I get from him. You think he's, what's the next one? Zoomer? Alpha? Oh. Isn't it like Generation Alpha or something?

I think we're creating new generations like two back to two years. Yeah. Because everyone's trying to be independent. They want to distance themselves. Yeah. Anyway, pretty good finish for him, I guess, considering he started in the pit lane. But, you know.

Yeah. Next up, we got Lando Norris. He came in 12th. So Lando Norris, I think, has the most boy energy of anyone. Like he really doesn't seem to have experienced anything in his life, except being in the garage at F1. It's F1 and like Twitch streaming, which is the most Gen Z energy. I like to call him Lando Norris because it's a no for me, Doc.

I love Lando. Doc. Lando's my dumb little son. Yeah. I think my, like my all time favorite thing that happened to Lando was when he was leading the race. They told him to pit for the inters. This is the Russian Grand Prix, right?

Told him to pit for the inters. He said, shut up, shut up, shut up. Then he spun out and ended up finishing like fifth or seventh or something. I loved that. I love it. I made a playlist for that moment. But you can't be angry at him though. It's not like he's an adult.

That's the thing. It's like, you're like, oh, you're young and making mistakes. Never mind that he cost that team like millions of dollars or whatever because he did that. It's still fun to watch. How old is Lando? I think he's 37. There's no way.

I've seen him on YouTube and Twitch. So I assume he's like 15. Yeah. He's 22. The thing with Lando and maybe a little older than Yuki. I don't know about Yuki, but I know that with Lando, like part of his pits, like they actually started calling it the shit lane for him

because it's like changing tires and his diapers. God damn. He also had like a 10 second pit stop this race for some reason. That was Yuki. Oh, that was Yuki. Never mind. Actually, yeah, we'll come back to that. Yeah, let's move along to our 11th place.

We also didn't talk about it. It's too late for plan G. Oh, yeah. That's got to be the radio call of the day. Yeah, I think so too. He was just like stuck in a DRS train the entire race. I think that's what mostly happened to him, which sucks. 11th on the grid was Lance Stroll.

Yes, dude. Everyone has a favorite driver and then a second favorite driver. And for me, my second favorite driver is Lance Friggin' Stroll. There's no way. Why is that? Honestly, well, because... It started as a joke, but I feel like the calling Nicholas Latifi, the go-tiffy, and like...

I feel like Latifi's dad also got him a place on the grid and he really sucks. And Stroll's dad got him a place on the grid and he just kind of sucks. So that's... I feel like that's... It's nepotism at its best. Yeah.

Also, I mean, I guess Stroll's dad got him a place on the grid by buying a whole team, right? Like Latifi, I guess, kind of his dad sponsors Williams. Yeah, I feel like he must sponsor them a lot. Yeah. It's also wild because Latifi grew up carting with Lance and Max. There's photos of them when they were like 15 wearing cargo shorts in Florida.

Ugh. But he's so bad in comparison. It's like, what went wrong? Yeah, what's wrong with the Canadians? He doesn't have... I don't know. Yeah, what did Crofty say to Canadians starting in the top 10 for the first time in Formula One?

It's got to be the most useless stat. Incredible stat. Incredible. Self-awareness. I've been keeping track of every double Canadian start. This is the highest he's ever done. I truly... I tried typing out all of the useless stats that they were saying

when they were going through the starting grid. Impossible. They're a mile a minute. Yeah. There's so many. It's crazy. Charles Leclerc never finished on a podium from outside 7th. Max...

All I have is Max 16th or lower podium three times. Right. To Aston Martin's top 10 first time of the season. And then I gave up. Right. Next on the grid, we've got Albon in at 10th. I'm proud of him. Yeah.

I was... My prediction would have been an Albon win just because I wanted it. But I'm glad he got a point. I'm kind of pissed that he took that point from Lance. But there's another race. There's another race. There's always another race. There's always another race.

Moving on past Albon, I feel like 7th, 8th, and 9th. This was like... These three guys had my favorite moment of the race. Let's start with 9th place Pierre Gasly. But they had that moment where they were like... All three of them were together. Yeah. Oh, three abreast.

Yeah. And I can't remember who ended up in front, but they were like... All three overtaking each other in one turn. And I was like, this is some real driving. I have in my notes, based on another... Crofty quote that it was the second time in this race that Esti Besti, Espanol God, took two cars in one corner. But it really...

Wow. Every thing that they said about that was like slightly too sexual. Yeah. That's the opposite of it. Took two cars in one corner. Did not finish. Three abreast. I can't remember the first way that he said it, but it was also a little weird.

But... I can't say this, never mind. What can you not say, based on the stuff that you have felt, mind saying? He's got his hand down his pants. This is a video podcast, right? We're releasing this as a video. It was going to be a pun on the C word with Ocon. That's good.

That's pretty fun. Marika can say it. Yeah, I'm not going to, but it's good. I don't know the origin of Esti Besti, but that is a nickname for him that I see a lot online, so I'm co-opting it, even though I don't really like him. I don't really have an opinion. Ugly as hell. They're supposed to be hot, I'm sorry.

We're losing Vettel. Vettel, you think he's hot? Vettel looks like he works at a beet farm. No, he's not hot. Vettel is granola, he's crunchy, he's casual, just rolled out of bed. He's many good things, but he's not hot. I think it's interesting his progression over F1, how he looks. He looks like maybe the most different of anybody in their career.

He started really like, I feel like he kind of had a punk vibe early on and now has progressed to like crunchy granola. Now he has tons of hair. Miracle grow. Interesting. Did the same thing happen to Lewis Hamilton? I think Lewis Hamilton is doing something, yeah. They've all got the same guy as LeBron.

Doing something to his hair? I think so. He's doing something to get it back. Oh yeah, definitely. I'd have to see some comparison photos before I... I'll send one to the chat, you guys. Incriminating. I do want to know more about Esteban O'Conn's feud with Pere Gasly.

They're like enemies, so anytime there's anything... Esteban O'Conn came in seventh. Yeah. Well, anytime there's just any battle between them, I hope that it ends in some sort of fight because I know that they don't like each other. Is it because they're both French? Is it some sort of... French rivalry?

Yeah, I think it's like the growing up with each other rivalry. Wow, look at this hairline on Lewis Hamilton. Yeah, I think... I mean, if I were making a million dollars, I'd also get a sick hair transplant. It looks really good on him. Yeah. He looks so much better. When was that first photo taken?

It looks like a long time ago because he's not in a Mercedes-Benz form. It's taken 30 years in the future. Wow. Where's my grid? Here it is. Number six, Charles Leclerc. Charles Leclerc. Devastating.

Idiot. What a dumbass. Jesus. What a dumb strategy. Yep. I can't believe what I saw. I feel that way every week. I've been watching.

This one was like... I felt like I was playing a video game and making a bad choice. The screen pops up, like hit A or B if you want to hit right now or whatever. And you're just being like, uh, B. The strategy a lot of times is like, okay, the tire strategy was really shitty. It took half a race to play out. This was just like, oh, we could get the fastest lap on the last lap. Let's just do it.

And without looking at any of the times or anything, it's just so insane. And it cost them what? Like three points? Yeah, right? Because he's lost the spot. Lost the place. Yeah. What happened was he...

He's coming out of the lap or out of the pit, right? Yeah. We're going in. I don't know which side actually. I think he was speeding out of the pit. Yeah. It's also so funny that they're doing all this like, all right, let's get this point because it's critical in our championship battle with Verstappen.

It's just like, you guys, that's not... You know what's helpful? It's 15 points instead of 12. Yeah. And also you're just like... It's clear that you're not going to fucking content. Yeah. The Ferrari really is like the New York Knicks of Formula One.

Oh, yeah, that's a good comp. Yeah, at this point, Charles is like behind by 98 points. And... It's insane. Yeah. Charles is catching up to Charles. Yeah, he's got... Charles has 186 points.

That's wild. Charles has 171. Yeah. Yeah. So Charles might not even end up on the podium. Yeah. I mean, God, I feel like this... Now he doesn't even have the energy to primal scream.

He's like giving up that much. Yeah, I was trying to find his reaction at the end of the race, but I can't find it. It's got to just be a sigh. It's got to just be like a whatever. Yeah, dead silence. It's hard for us. It's pretty possible that... Carlos is going to pass him in the points.

He passed him last year. He got more points than him. They're really fucking Charles over, I say, as more of a Carlos fan. I mean, to keep using sex as an analogy, I just feel like... Charles blows his load too early. He's a premature LeClaire collator. That's fascinating. It's fascinating that you bring that up.

I feel like we're talking more about Ferrari's strategy, and you are talking about LeClaire coming early. Yeah. It's two years in a row where he loses steam. I guess I could have just said that. Three hours, 45 minutes of sleep. Number fifth. Number fifth. Fifth on the grid, Fernando Alonso.

Yeah. Good. A good race from our guy. I mean, immediately a great start for him right into the crash with Lewis. He was doing great. We established was not his fault. Didn't have to be so mean about it over radio. I don't know.

I always, I feel like I put too many eggs in my Fernando basket every race, and I'm like, he's going to tear shit up, and then he doesn't do anything that I want him to do. We want him battling with the Red Bulls, but instead he's just like, he's like, I'm not going to fuck with them. I'm going to fuck with everybody else. Yeah, it sucks. I've enjoyed him coming back and being good though,

and I like him doing it in an Alpine. Not anymore. Not for long. Wait, sorry, Jeff, do you not know any of the... I only knew that, I haven't looked at the signings. Oh my God. The biggest drama of the season. I only followed Ricardo and, you know, I know Ferrari's sticking the same.

Well, but that does mean that Ricardo could go back to Alpine, which is exciting. Yeah. I want to see that. I want to see him in Alpine. I don't want to see him in a fucking Haas. Yeah. Even though he is a Haas. Yeah, I'd like to see Ricardo in an Alpine.

I think that's good storytelling, and after all, F1 is about stories, really, at the end of the day. Yeah. It's about stories and ejaculating on time, exactly when you need to. Yes. Yeah. Number four.

I don't know. Go ahead, Marika. No, I was just going to say that I, when I went to the Canadian Grand Prix and he got second, my friend and I were so excited. My friend, like, bought in his Alpine jersey. He was like, let's go. He's going to kill Max.

Like, can't wait to watch this. I mean, he did absolutely nothing, and now I just don't trust him. Wait, so what is the drama? He's retiring again? No, he's moving to Aston Martin, but it was announced in, like, he's taking Vettel's seat. Vettel's retiring.

Vettel's retiring. I know that, but I'm like, Alpine's cars are faster. Right. Yeah. I mean, currently that is the case, and he's kind of crazy for it, but the way it was announced was, like, Alpine didn't know that he was moving.

It was very fun. It was like, yeah, it was, like, right in the middle of contract, all the contract negotiation stuff. He kind of, like, waited till the last minute, announced it early, and then peaced out on vacation and, like, left a bunch of drama, and then people were like, oh, Oscar Piestri is going to take his place, and then at Alpine,

and then Oscar was like, no, I'm not. So now there's just a lot of questions, but he's probably a pretty big contender for the McLaren seat, from my understanding. And that's what you missed on Glee. Alpine looks so dumb in this whole thing. They lose Alonso. They announce Piastri.

He says he's not coming, and they're like, all right, well, guess what? Fuck you guys, we're going to get Danny Ricardo back. It's like, wow, the guy that's finishing 15th in the McLaren, it's great. Good stuff. Sad Danny coming to the team. Fourth, we got George Russell.

Do you mean Mr. Consistency? Damn it, I was going to say that. See, you said Mr. Consistency, and I immediately went to, like, Viscosity, because he looks like milk. I said Mr. Consistency. He gave us a run for our money. I was scared.

I was scared he was going to catch up on Carlos. Same. Hit a good race. Yeah, hit a good race. I mean, yeah, he always has a good race. I think he's one of the better drivers out there. Yeah, it's really interesting to see him go, I mean, Hamilton didn't finish this week,

but him and Hamilton being almost on equal footing in the Mercedes does show his medal as a driver, I would say. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, is he also shitting on the car as much as Hamilton has been? Lewis is like, no, but he was in a Williams, right? And Hamilton was in the best car possible. Yeah, that's true.

But it is a weird dichotomy where it's like, who is actually doing better if they can adapt to this car? But it seems like the car is just also terrible. Yeah, the car does seem bad. But even Hamilton is still doing well in it when he's, I don't know, it seems like he can just will the car to be better. Yeah. Yeah, apparently he was at the track until midnight,

burning the midnight oil with the team trying to make the car better. I love those parts of Drive to Survive where he's like with all the techs, and he's just like leaning over, looking at a computer screen, but not really doing anything, just kind of being there. Yeah, what would he do at midnight? I think he would like vary into that sort of thing, which is cool. I think George Russell just always assumes that he has a New York Times profile going on at him,

and that's how he conducts himself all the time. George Russell or Lewis Hamilton? George Russell. I think he's just always acting like he's being profiled. Like when Joe Guan Yu, excuse me, flipped over, and Russell just like sprinted over like he could help. Yeah, yeah. That is.

And then I think he posted a photo on Instagram of him running over and he's like, great race. I'm glad everything went down. I know why you sprinted over. He made a huge deal after that moment of like, I mean, they basically were like, you can't restart. And he was so upset about it, which is fair, but also like you got out of your car.

Did you think they were going to give you a pass for this? Right. And what did you think you would do if you got over there? He was catching fire. It's so fun if you twisted his ankle jumping on that like big tire stack. Did you know he also falls between the fence? He's like the head of the driver's like group or whatever. He's like their spokesperson.

So like when the drivers have like a grievance, they like all meet together and he like, like whatever it was earlier this season when it was, I don't know, porpoising or maybe it was even the first race when, wait, it was this season where it was got bombed, right? Where there was like a... Yeah. Yeah.

They had the drivers met and stuff and like he was like, came out and like gave a statement or whatever. And I'm just like, why are you the mouthpiece? You're like the last person. And it's like, yeah, you can definitely tell that he really likes that. Yeah. Yeah. He likes the spotlight.

He wants to be the mouthpiece. He wants to be the face of the sport. Yeah. I think... Really shitting on everybody today. Yeah. I mean, I like him. I mean, he's doing it the right way.

He's like, he's trying to be such a good guy that everyone likes him. So it's like, it's kind of fake and I can see through it, but at the same time, it's like you are actually being a really nice guy all the time. There is like a genuine aspect to it. It's just like you're doing a little too much. Yeah. Like you can see... Literally drive hard.

Right. Yeah. You can definitely see the intention behind everything. Yeah. I feel that way when I see John Cena do anything, any time he does like press or something, like when he was in the peacemaker costume everywhere, like that felt so calculated.

And he's like, well, we looked at the numbers and everyone decided this would be very funny if I did this. Yeah. And so, yeah, I get that same sort of like, okay, George Russell, sure. Yeah. You are this nice guy. Right.

He's a robot who's like calculated how to make or an alien that's like studied, oh, this is how you get to get people to like you. So I will do it to a T. Yeah. I also see him with the shirt off all the time. All the time. All the time.

Yeah. And he's ripped, but he's not stacked. Yeah. He's just his skinny guy. Yeah. Right. Which is probably what you need to be, but. Right.

You're sweating out like seven pounds of water every single race. All right. We are at the podium now. We've got Carlos Sainz in number three. My guy. There it is. 55.

55. Carlos Sainz Jr., you mean? Carlos Sainz Jr., I apologize. Don't forget he has an overbearing father. Do you have to have that to be in at one? What does that say? It seems like maybe you do need some sort of like very. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. You need to have a daddy issue. They invested a lot in it. They invested a lot in it. Is there a single person that has a healthy relationship with their dad on this grid?

It does not seem like it. Absolutely. Probably Lewis Hamilton, but there's also probably a little something there. I think Lewis Hamilton's story is the most wholesome and like good and his dad seems like a good person. But yeah. Yeah.

It's like you have to start so young that are you even that into it as a kid? I mean, you have to be like sure. This is what you want to do. Yeah. Yeah. But it must come from a little bit the parents being like. Yeah.

How else would you. Several thousand dollars on a super. You're really into this carding thing. I'll quit my job and move to Europe with you. Yeah. Yeah. You have to be way too invested in your kid. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I feel like it's like that for most sports. Like how many how many little leaguers are really like. I guess I want to be a baseball player, you know, sort of thing. It's like these are way richer. So we could put you in a car instead of buying you a bat. Yeah. Like when I was little, I also wanted to be a professional

baseball player, but my parents just probably saw me playing T-ball and they're like, well, that's not going to happen. So like, yeah, dad's going to keep on being a tax lawyer. I think we know where the money's coming from. Here's a microphone, Jake. See if you could talk into this for a while. Those rinky dink children's microphones. That was like an echo of the plastic one.

Go talk to yourself in the mirror. I mean, I feel like Carlos came in. I don't know if you read any of his like pre race interviews, but he was like very much like Red Bull is going to beat us today. Yeah. Yeah. Even yeah, afterwards. I mean, I think that.

I don't know. I was confused why they did the second stop on the hards. But I guess it was like, you know, he said after the race that the tire degradation was just way too much. And he was slipping and sliding. His package was fucked guys. Yeah. They used the wrong package.

They used the wrong package. Valtteri style. I also like, I don't remember if this is a message to Charles or Carlos. It might have actually been to Charles, but the engineer was like, just try your best. It's like you're trying to win a championship. What do you mean?

Just try your best. Yeah. We're talking about. We're all very proud of you over here. Yeah. He had some response where he was just like, I'm pushing a lot guys. They're like, like, yeah, I'm doing everything I can.

The car isn't good. Yeah. Um, I feel, I feel bad for him. But at the same time, I feel like he's more consistent than Charles. Yeah. It seems like he's not really Charles's fault. I don't know.

I think even I was trying. I'm still trying to find like, uh, like the post-race interviews with Charles. And all I could, all I've seen so far is that he was like, the pit lane thing was my fault. It was a mistake that I made. I feel like Mateo is like holding him at gunpoint. Yeah.

It was like a sniper. We did nothing wrong. Yeah. And you don't tell them anything. It's hard to see. Like, go ahead. Yeah. Well, the pit lane thing is weird.

Isn't there just a button you press to prevent you from speeding in the pit lane? Yeah. And what, did he just turn off the button too early? Or I don't know exactly how that part of it works. I think he got nervous that Fernando was going to pass him. So he kind of pushed it. Yeah.

But you know what it looks like to me. Like, should I break the rules right now? Like, it seems like, I don't know. There's always, in every sport, there's a little bit of cheating to see how much you can get away with, especially in a racing scenario. There's a lot of cheating at this point. There's a lot of cheating. Yeah.

Okay. It seems like every race, everyone's just trying to get away with something, just like a little bit. Yeah. What kind of edge can I get? I agree. Video podcast. Okay.

Jake is peeing right now, but we're going to go ahead and talk about our number two guy, Checo, came in second. I'm tired of Checo. I'm tired of Sergio Perez. I'm over him. I don't dislike him. I'm just tired of him. Yeah.

In what, in what way? Like, his driving, his personality. Yeah. His like, his driving, because I just get annoyed when he passes Carlos, his personality, because he's kind of, he's just very bland. But then like, I don't know, there's a weird thing where like I do, I really feel for him with the max situation because he is so close, or he like was so close to him in the points where like he could,

in theory, be a championship contender. So every time that he like comes in second to max, I'm like, that's a bummer man. Sorry about it. But then I also think about how he's like literally 32 years old and like so boring and I'm like, how are you like this? Red Bull. Yeah.

Yeah. I have in my notes Perez immediately losing three places hot. His start was terrible. I liked how they were like, oh, Checo is like angling himself 20 degrees towards the racing line. And then Fernando immediately got ahead of him. He immediately loses three places. Also like Carlos was angled.

They were like this at the start. Yeah. It was great. So wasn't he about to retire two seasons ago and then Red Bull picked him up? I think it was just like he was without a seat maybe. Yeah. So I was, I was rooting for him to not have a seat. Two years ago.

I mean, I think I've only stopped liking him when he came to come to Red Bull. But I mean, once he came to Red Bull, I was like, see? Cause he was in the pink and blue cars. Right. Yeah. Racing point or whatever. Yeah. Forced India.

Forced India. Yeah. Whichever it was. Yeah. And those were just, they were so annoying. The way they drove, the way he drives. So annoying. Worst in the middle of the pack I'll say, but also annoying because it's Red Bull

and they're winning. Yeah. But I will say that I like like when, so say like Carlos is in first and Checo is in second and Checo is just like defending somebody who's trying to pass him. I love when that kind of thing is happening because Checo will hold up a race. Yeah. He loves to hold up. Yeah.

So like you can count on him to work in your favor sometimes. But when he's, but when it's happening and it's not in your favor, you're pissed because he sucks. He seems like a great number two driver. Like every team would want him as their number two driver. Right. Because he'll, Max will just pass you and Checo will frustrate you. And that, yeah, that's kind of like, I mean, Checo frustrates Max.

Like when Max is behind him, he's like, we're going way too slow. Like Max only gets angry on the radio. He never celebrates. So anytime he's like yelling on the radio, you know, it's because he's angry at like his own teammate even, even though it's like lap, dude, you started like P 14 and it's like five and you're in like fourth place and you're like screaming at your teammates. So we can totally tell at the end of the race too, when they finish and they're just like, all right, well done.

Well done. Max, that's P one. And just goes, haha. Yes. We did it. Another good one. You've been yelling at me all raised. Man, I'm fucking pissed at you.

He's like, leave me alone. Don't talk to me. And then Christian order comes over the radio at the end of the race and it sounds like he's been scripting his line the entire race. Oh my God. You're in a class of your own Max. Yeah. Do you think that Christian Horner pictures Max when he fucks ginger spice?

Yes. Yeah. I think so too. Oh, that's who his wife is. Yeah. I was like always wearing a white at race. Yeah. Anytime she shows she's on a cream number or a white number.

I don't understand. Christian Horner is like, he's, he's one of the sourest losers I've ever seen and he's also bad when he's winning. So he's just a piece of shit. He's so smug. I mean, he's the perfect villain. I really do truly love him for that. Yeah.

Anytime he comes over the radio or is like doing post, he's always like the first to get a post race interview. I had ESPN just like playing in the background. Immediately they found him. Like he loves to talk and I admire that. I admire that in him. The thing is, I feel like he's just Marty's evil twin. No way.

Let's unpack that. I just feel like they have the same energy, but Christian's the worst version. Like, it's like, yeah, there's like a quirk. And then it's like Marty will like often have something rehearsed for a meeting. I feel like. And he wants to be the first person interviewed at like conventions. Absolutely drag him. I'm going to get demoted.

I'm going to get demoted. I'm going to get demoted. I'm going to get demoted. I'm going to get demoted. I'm going to get demoted. I'm going to get demoted. You can't get any lower, man. Yeah.

So yeah, we've been talking about Max Verstappen, who is our final person on the grid. He came in first. Yeah. Not really a surprise, but also kind of a surprise just because of where he started in the race, but it's like who can touch him, you know? Yeah. It feels like he's driving a different car. I think he just has a different car.

The same. Yeah. The inside drive. Like so fucking impressive. I hate him so much. Yeah. It sucks. It sucks.

It would be interesting. It would be so good. I wonder if, so let's just imagine Pierre Gasly is, is Max Verstappen. Would we hate him as much? Or is it like this amazing confluence of like Max Verstappen is the most annoying driver driving the best car? And it's just like, that's, it's such a bad combination. Like I'm trying to imagine.

I would hate whoever. So maybe that's the perfect combination this much. Or a Formula One driver. Yeah. It's like in Talladega Nights where it's like, he's basically, what's his name? Sasha Baron Cohen's character is like, Oh, who's this really good F1 driver coming into NASCAR? And he's just like this annoying, really good European guy.

It's like, yeah, this is exactly who I would expect to be the number one driver in the world. I guess Louis, sorry. No, you can go. I guess when Louis was like winning every race for like seven years, not that I watched those races live, but like watching the docuseries and then watching some of them live last year. It's just like, wait, did I even do that? I don't know. You did.

Yeah. I was like, I don't know. I didn't like him then. But it's because they make things boring. And with Louis, it was like, I like Louis, but I hate that he makes everything boring. And then like the real interesting thing is everything from third place down with Max. It's like, I hate his personality and he makes things boring. Yeah.

Right. So if it was ghastly, it'd be not as bad, I think. Yeah. I also think like his fans are fucking awful. Yeah. Like that's another big issue. Yeah. The orange army is scary in that.

Sorry. What don't you like? The sexism or the racism or something else? It's just, it's only the smoke. I don't like the smoke. That's my main problem with that. Totally. Yeah.

I mean, I hate that. Those are really, which is really just for McLaren, right? Yeah. I mean, Landau loves to land a post on his Instagram story today, like so many McLaren fans. Yeah. Nice. Laughing to himself alone in his trailer.

Yeah. I don't know. I there's some times when I really enjoy certain, I, I enjoy certain things that Max does. Um, I think that his like press personality has gotten really better and kind of funny. He's like, I don't, I don't know how to describe his like the smile that he uses for like any sort of press thing I find so fascinating and like weird. Uh, and then sometimes I like, when he like interacts with other drivers, I think that

he has cute moments with them. And there was like one race a few months ago where he like, uh, fist bumped Lewis Hamilton and I was like, God bless. This is great. Oh, the sport. Yeah. I think he is definitely chilled out a little bit. I mean, he was like so stressed out last season that it was like, oh, you're like gonna

snap or something bad is going to happen. And that was like more exciting, but I kind of was like, I don't like this person. I think he's like much more likable as a person, but he definitely retreated from all of the like spotlight because of, I think last season and kind of sucks because like, I think he's actually probably, yeah, probably more likable and probably funnier. I mean, the cool down room, he's like, yeah, it's like a normal person. Yeah. And so I don't know, it's like, I hope that, you know, he becomes a little more human.

Yeah. Seeming. That would be nice. But like, I don't, I don't think like the people around him like led him to, yeah. Yeah. And he feels like he has to be this like super serious guy because now he's like the preeminent winner, but yeah, I don't know. It's boring.

It is boring for sure. And that's part of why I don't like it. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably, it's a lot easier for him to like crack a smile and be cool when he's finishing races like this too. So I don't know. That almost says something about his personality is like, I'll be, I'll be cool when I'm winning

by a lot. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking of, of winning a lot and points after today's race. Uh, Verstappen is in the lead with 284 points. Perez is in second with 191 points.

So much. The players in third with 186. The season is over. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's really, it's really a fight for, uh, second and third really within fourth and fifth. Which is super interesting.

Yeah. Uh, Carlos Sainz has 171 points. George Russell has 170. So the top five racers, you know, it's pretty tight for second place. But Verstappen is, is, uh, it's, it's done, I think for, for him, he's the champion of 20 to 22. That's my prediction. Whoa.

Uh, and then also the constructors standings, Red Bull is in first with 475 points. Ferrari is in second with 357 points. Mercedes is in third with 316 and then in fourth, Alpine, uh, has 115. They're pretty far back there. I mean, it would be interesting to like chart, like where Ferrari is headed in the constructors versus where Mercedes is headed because like they could very much blow it. Uh, yeah. Oh yeah.

Yeah. It's pretty amazing. Anyway, just throwing that out there. I think they will blow it. I think, I don't know, I'm surprised at what they were saying. Uh, I think Carlos was saying that like Zanvoort is going to be a good race for them, but we've only raced that all the time, right? Yeah.

I think, but it was interesting that he was like, Zanvoort's going to be our advantage and then Monza is going to be Red Bull's advantage, uh, so, which feels like it should be the reverse just slowly because it's like Max's home race, but I don't know. It'll be, it'll be interesting. I think they're going to blow it though. Uh, okay. So, uh, next up that was, uh, that was the race. We're going to rate the race, uh, our system for rating the race goes like this.

If you think it's a good race, you give it a push push. If you think it was a bad race, you give it a box box. So, uh, I'll go ahead and start. I think this race ultimately was a box box. I think it was, there was like a lot of action up front and then I was very bored for an hour. I am also going to give the race a box box. There was one point where, uh, someone towards the end of the race, I think Crofty was like,

things are going to get interesting now between an exciting now between, uh, George and Carlos and I was truly falling asleep and I was like, oh man, I don't wake up for this. Uh, I'm going to give this race a push push. I actually thought the, I thought sign starting on podium, uh, the, the quality and all the penalties, it was a lot of hype and the first, and the first lap did live up to it. Um, so I think that spike made it so that even when it leveled out, I was still pretty excited and, um, also the, the Danny leaving McLaren gave that like a fun storyline, something that I root for and the weather, the track spot is beautiful.

So I'm going to go ahead and give it a push push. I am also going to give it a push push. I think it's like memorable, like, I mean, a car went airborne. That was dope. Um, you know, in Carlos podiums, so I'm always happy to see that, you know, anytime it's like a one, two red bull, you're kind of like, okay, this is like a somewhat boring formula one. Yeah.

And I've seen, I think all of them, um, it certainly feels that way. Uh, I don't know. Yeah. It was kind of the kind of middle of the race was, was pretty boring. You know, Charles tried to screw it up in the end in dramatic fashion. I thought that was awesome. That was fun. Um, you got it.

You know, it had some memorable moments for me. So I'm going to, I'll give it the push push. Okay. I also am giving it a push push. And part of that is, uh, my bias, if I haven't watched a race for like two months until today, but, uh, yeah, I, for the same kind of the same reasons, Pyle and Jake said, I don't have a lot to add, but, um, you know, seeing Danny, like, I was like, Oh, like I want Danny Rick to stick it to, uh, McLaren.

I had already decided that I actually don't like McLaren as a team brand. But yeah. How much did you spend on that McLaren sweatshirt that you bought? Probably like $70. Um, but now I'm firmly a member of the Defosi. You're the host. You're the side of host. Welcome.

Are you really worse? Yeah. We all are and we regret it, but we can't leave. And, uh, Yuki Sonoda having a 10 second pit stop will always make me rate a racist push push. Well, fucker. Speaking of little fuckers, uh, who was the hottie of the week? Hottie of the week.

I have to give it to Valtteri Botas because it's his birthday and he deserves his birthday. I did find the at least something. This, this naked photo of him on Instagram, on his wife's Instagram. Same farmers to him. Wow. Yeah. Those two beige shooting sweeps incredible.

Um, I think my hottie of the week, uh, is going to go to, oh boy. I think it was Lewis saying it doesn't really matter what he said during that interview. I thought that was the hottest moment. Yeah, I'll piggyback off that. I think, I think Lewis Hamilton is the hottie of the week. I like, I like to see a race car driver walking alone in the woods. After they're born.

Like long walks in the woods. Yeah. I think all of that was, uh, was very, it was hottie behavior. So I got to give it to him. Uh, I think this is more like hottie of the month because we had so much time off and Jake was just constantly posting photos of Carlos's Instagram. So I'm going to go with Carlos just because I have a lot of photos in my brain of him on vacation, driving around the Mediterranean or ever in like,

uh, a runabout boat. Yeah. Uh, so I'm going to go with Carlos. My dude. Um, I'm going to go Toto Wolf cause there was one shot of him in the race where he just looked really contemplative and it was definitely Zunkel energy. I was, um, I was going to try to track how many Toto zoom ins there were during the race and it's, it was truly only one.

It was one. I wanted to choke me. Yeah. I really do. I love that for you. Thank you. So those were our hotties of the week. Now finally, let's get to the little bitch of the day.

Can I start? Please. It's pile for saying I should be a commentator. After the, probably least interesting point of the group chat and then not being able to figure out his microphone for the first 15 minutes. So that's where, that's what really cemented it. I was going to say Zach Brown, but it's ultimately Andrew Pyle. Zach Brown is a good one.

I would have to go with Latifi. I, I'm frankly disgusted by him being such a bad driver that he takes out Valtteri Bottas on his birthday. It's not right. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going with this. He's not bright.

Is he off the team next year? I think there was the comment, the commentators were saying that there was an opening at Williams, right? Yeah, they were. Yeah. So is he, he's getting booted. I don't know if it's official contracts up or something. I don't know.

Oh. No more Lavazza coffee in the tent, guys. You're going to be drinking Starbucks now. Yeah, you go, Pyle. I'm still deciding. Um, hmm. I mean, I guess I'll go Paris. And the reason is, fuck him.

That's why. I didn't like that in his, uh, his race post race interview. He was like, Max was on another planet. I didn't, I don't like that he admitted that. Yeah, I just, I don't know. It's like, like this was like a real bummer of a podium post race interview. Everyone was just like, yeah, yeah, I don't know. I was hoping for more, including Max, it seemed like, and I'm like, what are you

talking about? Like, uh, well, I don't know. Carlos and does Max were like that. And I'm like, you're not going to beat Max for stopping. You knew that going into the race and you're not happy that you're finished. Like, I mean, he finished it, you know, where he, you know, I guess. Okay. Here's the other thing about Sergio, whatever.

It doesn't matter. That's my bitch, bitch of the day. A little bitch. Um, do you think, uh, Max, you know, wasn't. Crazy excited, even though we came in first, uh, because maybe he's a little bored that he's got such a huge lead and it's just like, yeah, I want so easy. So annoying. No, it's just like so easy.

I think so, but also like when he isn't like he, I don't know. They were saying that he looked really bummed the day before because of the penalties or like the day that they found out they were going to have to take the penalty. Right. And it's like, make up your mind. Like, yeah, you know, how good you are. It's an insane comeback. You should be like, that was one of the best races I've ever done statistically,

if nothing else, yeah, whatever. Just smile more. Talk less. Smile more. That's kind of what he's done this season. Yeah. And it's working. My little bitch of the day is going to go out to my boy, Charles Leclerc, for his

radio message, uh, complaining about, uh, I don't remember who he collided with at one point, but when he was like, uh, and we touched. So, and then that was the end of the message. Yeah. It's like confessing to cheating. When we're on the dance floor and we just so. Also, the fact that he like immediately was like, the pit line thing was my fault. I was, it was my mistake.

He's like, your team told you to pit for the fastest lap. Like, what are you, it's not your fault. You shouldn't have been in the pit lane too speed at all. I love him though. I would die for him. Yeah. All right. Well, that's the, uh, the Belgian grand prix of 2022.

Uh, the next race will be the Dutch grand prix. Oh, September 2nd through the 4th. Uh, you guys looking forward to that. Racing is a wedding. Okay. All right, but I'm going to watch it. We should say we're not recording specifically for that race. Thank God.

Because we're piloting this episode. So if you want to hear us talk more, uh, please tell us so that, you know, we can, can convince our bosses, Jake to let us record. I approve this podcast. Uh, no, I am excited. I think that track is really weird. It's the really like steep, whatever that's called, turns, I don't know, incline. Yeah.

That's why we are, uh, casual, the F1 podcast for the casual. What was our, what was our other pitch for, uh, a subtitle? Oh, the formula dank of podcasts. But less racist. Oh yeah. The non-racist formula day. All right. That's racist.

Yeah. Actually it was a little racist up top. Yeah. That'll do it for this week's show. Uh, this pilot, this, uh, special presentation of the hit wall. Thanks for listening. Uh, let us know if you want to hear more in the comments of whatever channel this is on.

It's going to be on the channel comment below. It's going to be on some other feeds. Yeah. If you like the show and you want more, comment, push, push. Yeah. Yeah. Hit that push, push button. Subscribe.

You need a social groundswell to make it undeniable that we must continue this podcast. And if you stopped listening to it before the end, just comment DNF, which, uh, you won't hear this if you stopped at minute 23 on Twitter. Ideally we can make Jeff get up at five AM for an entire year of Sundays. I like it though, cause it makes me, I don't have an excuse to not wake up for it. And I can still go to bed at three AM, have a great Saturday night and do it. I just won't be as high energy as I am in the headgun podcast, which is good. Yeah.

You're swaying practically face down. You have been faced down. I almost fell asleep during the race and I've almost fell asleep during this podcast about four minutes ago. I mean, I woke up at like seven and I'm fully going to take a nap after this. Yeah. Respect. Thanks.

Uh, follow me on Twitter though. I need some followers. Every girl on, but don't, don't be mean to me if I said something wrong. You can, you can be mean to me, uh, Andrew P on Twitter, everything I got wrong this episode or anyone else, I think anybody got wrong this episode. Feel free to DM me about submit it to Pyle. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, I don't have a Twitter to plug. Well, I have a Twitter, but here's what I want to plug. Um, I need everyone to comment on Carlos signs as Instagrams to check his DMs and open the ones from me. Yeah. I have DMed him twice, uh, once about a burger that he posted. I wrote damn. Uh, and then another time when he was foil boarding, I wrote nice.

Uh, so I need those to at least be seen by Carlos. Uh, so yeah, if you have an Instagram, let Carlos know that I'm trying to get in touch 2023 is the year that Jake gets on Carlos's teak boat in the Mediterranean. My God, you fucking imagine. And here's what I'd like to plug, uh, Valtteri's ass. You already plugged your Twitter. I was hoping no one heard that.

Uh, you can follow me on Twitter at Casey Donahue. Also, if somehow you're listening to this and don't know what headgum is and you just found it because you're trying to find an F1 podcast, one, sorry to listen to more headgum shows. There you go. Yeah. All right, everybody. Thanks for listening.

Thanks for watching. We'll see you on the track. Beep, beep, beep, beep. That was a headgum original.