I've Had It - Cut the Apron Strings

Episode Date: January 2, 2025

We've infiltrated the college mom Facebook groups, and it's even scarier than you imagined. Pre-order our new book, join our Patreon Cult, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast. Thank you to our sponsors: eHarmony: Get started with their compatibility quiz, so you can find someone you can be yourself with. Download the app and get who gets you on eharmony. Follow Us:  I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

Ready? One, two, three. Welcome, Patriots, Gatriots, Thatriots. We are, I've had it podcast, I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's America's legal eagle. The biggest name in podcasting and I call her Pumps. Pumps, what have you had it with? What I've had it with, and this is partly had it with me, but I'm so tired of buying stuff off Instagram that doesn't work like they act like it's going to work. And specifically, I have a For You page that is nothing but French Bulldogs. That's all it is.

And I scroll over and it's all these things that French Bulldogs can play with. So I now have a room in my house dedicated to these toys for dogs that don't do what they're supposed to do. Right. And the problem is you have to return it, but there's nowhere to return it. It's a fly by night deal. So I've had it with fly by night ads but then I've had it with myself for always taking the bait and just buying stupid shit that I know beyond a reasonable doubt is not going

to work like they are acting like it's going to work. So it's part grievance on myself and part grievance with false advertising. Who do you think is more at fault? You. I do too, I hate to say it. Because we've all fallen prey to this and the first time you order some item that they've made some sleek video for

and you think, oh my God, my dog would like that or oh my God, that blouse is so cute. And then it directs you to the website. It seems a little sketch and then it takes four weeks to get to your house, which is a super duper red flag. And then you learn, Oh, this was a racket. So to keep going back and doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. That's what therapists call the definition of insanity. No, I know. And I've got to do better.

But I just, I think, oh my God, my little puppy would love that if it worked. And of course it never does. So that's on me. I think you're right. I agree. I'm the problem. You got to get, there's some monthly services you can sign up for where they deliver vetted items. Oh, they deliver vetted items.

Oh, they're vetted. For your dog, reliable sources. Yeah, because I'm all for spoiling the canines. All right, let me tell you what I've had it with. The phrase mama heart. Somebody said it to me recently and I was talking about, because our travel schedule can be so rigorous, and I was talking about like, you know, I'm trying to juggle my son's needs with my work schedule.

And I've had to do that throughout my kid's entire life because I've always been the primary breadwinner. And it's just, it's a struggle. And you know, to make ends meet and meet everybody's demands, plus fulfill your career. And it's just always been a big struggle on adulthood. And this woman said to me, yeah, that just really pulls on your mama heartstrings. And I just want to be like, okay, shut up. Right. Like I'm being an adult and I'm talking about an adult reality that a lot of working women face, this walking this tightrope

of I'm working, I have this career, but then also all of this societal pressure that this is what an ideal mother looks like. This is what an ideal mother does, this idealized motherhood. And I feel like that whole mama heart branding is a part of that. Like you'll see these moms, I've never missed one of my kids' activities. And I always think, what a luxury. Right. That must be because I've missed several of my kids' activities because I had a career. And I have a career that pays me very well. I've never had help from a husband or parents. It's all been me.

I mean, at times where my husband had severe problems with addiction and whatnot. But think about women that are divorced or have never married and they have a couple of kids and they work a couple of jobs to make do in their life and how debilitating it would be to hear all of this idealized mothering all the time and to be around all the insufferable power moms all the time. AMT – Yeah, see that's – I think that obviously that's a huge issue for women.

Balancing like what's the work-life balance? It's fucking hard. It's sometimes not attainable. Some, I mean, personal life suffers if work's doing well. Work suffers with kids. You know, it's just constant struggle. But the bigger issue for me in that scenario is that there are so many women that make it their business to be at all their kids' school

activities, to hover over every practice. What snacks is everybody going to bring? You don't have to be the snack mom. We don't have to have that. When my kids, they're all gone now. In high school, where every kid drives a car, They can go fend for themselves, they can pack a lunch, like there's no need to get people involved. And they're like, who wants to sign up to take food? It's like, why would I take food? Like, I don't know these people.

I don't know what they like. Oh, and then you get the food allergies. It's just like, why didn't everybody just get their own food? Why does everything have to be a group activity by these helicopter parents? Well, I think it's this, there's twofold. There's the mom flexing because they have the time and the luxury to do that. And then there's always this pressure on our species in particular to be the super parent. And I like where the millennials in Gen Z are heading with this because you have paternity leave and taking a bigger role, men taking a larger role in their child's lives. Cause Josh and I have always had to

divide and conquer. Like I'm traveling out of town for this design install. I'm going to miss this event, this event, this event, and this event. Will you cover it? Other times he's been unable to do stuff and I take the lead on it. And there's just, there's always these sayings, you know, your mom heart and this pressure on women to be these idealized mothers, to be the perfect mother. And I think that that is setting your child up for failure because the perfect mother doesn't exist. We're all human beings and we all have struggles. And I think it's really shocking, at least it was for me and I know I think it was for you too, when you are an adult and adulthood comes raining down on you. Aren't adult and adulthood comes raining down on you? Yes. How ill prepared we all are for it.

Totally. It's so, for me personally more than most, but the lack of skills, emotionally and mentally, to deal with adulthood was fucking, it ran over me like a choo-choo train. Just the total lack of coping skills. And I just, you know, I've always been very candid and very honest with my kids. Like, I wish I could be at every event. I just simply cannot. I have a career. If you want your tuition paid, if you want this house,

all of the extra things that we do, it comes from me and I have to work and the sacrifice says I can't be the power mom. And my sons would always say, I'm so glad you're not the power mom. I always feel so badly for the kids whose moms are up at the school all the time. Right. So anyway, Cathy, do you have any reviews or anything to read to us on the World Wide Web? I have two reviews for you. This one's five stars titled, These Whores Get It. A top notch team of two in arguably average women being propped up by an overqualified lesbian would recommend. And I did not write that. I fucking love that.

Overqualified. And we're average. I agree with that. How many stars do we're average. I agree with that. How many stars did we get on that? Five. Oh good. Amy called me a whore so I loved it. It's my favorite. All right.

Is there any more? Okay. The next one is five stars. How Pumps helped me find a gay tree boyfriend. Who knew it would be two washed up southern hags with some of the foulest mouths west of the Mississippi that found me a boyfriend. For the listener who doesn't know and probably Jen and Pumps, Hinge has, which is a dating app, it has a prompt titled, Favorite Off-Brand LGBT Icon. So of course I put down my favorite Lezzy Pumps. Lo and behold, an attractive yet ungodly petty man liked that prom because he's a gay

triad. So bada-bing bada-boom and he's gonna be my groom hopefully soon. So thank you to the pickleball princess and her bald huskied elderly friend for fighting the good fight and spreading the real agenda gay agenda. That's so cool. That's the best thing I've ever heard. I love that. That is so cool. That makes me just so happy. I would like to commend both of those reviewers because I've noticed for taking part and going over to Apple, not being a lackluster listener, for giving us five stars, giving us very thoughtful,

helpful, interesting reviews. I've noticed a little stall out in the reviews clicking upwards. I have too. I've noticed a little stall out in the reviews clicking upwards. I have too. I've noticed, haven't you, Kathy? Yeah. This makes me very angry and it hurts my mama heart. It's hard for me because I need content. So give me content. Right. Here's the deal on that. If you review, I've had it podcast as we've seen, there are rewards for you, i.e. to fall in love. We're pushing love.

The reviews of I've Had It podcast are like the prosperity gospel. They are. In evangelical Christianity, you give the money to the megachurch preacher, the megachurch preacher gets a shit ton of money, a nice house, and a private plane. You give the review to the I've Had It podcast. Our mama hearts are full. Kylie has content. And you're going to get better content because we are old. We are haggard. Pumps is a whore. All of these things are true. We are produced by an overqualified lesbian. We're insecure. We're trainwrecks. We think we're going to faceplant any minute. Give us the five-star

reviews. God damn it. What other women our age are out here cussing their hearts out doing this shit day in, day out. Listen up, patriots, gay tri-. Listen up. Fucking A. Let's get on there. Let's review, review, review. Do y'all want us to come- All these things and- You don't want us to get on camera without Botox? No, is the answer to that. Do you want Pops to get out here? Yeah, you want Kylie to get her hair color done? Right. Pops has got these new extensions she's got to keep in check.

She gets these eyelash things. I get a little Botox. I mean, for fuck's sake. For fuck's sake. It takes a lot of fucking money to look this bad. I've had it. Had it. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been

this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes

to pre-order your copy now. For this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Pumps, how's it going over at eHarmony? Well, it's a lot better than aimless dating because eHarmony cuts a lot of the back and forth back and it matches you with people that you're more likely to like.

See that's the thing. Like, you don't want to just be out there like in the ocean thinking, is this guy going to be right? Is this guy going to be right? So I like that they do a lot of the work for you. Listener, dating is different on eHarmony. People on eHarmony want to find someone they can be themselves with. They're not just aimlessly dating, they want a genuine connection. Because of eHarmony's compatibility quiz, your personality is the star of your profile. And when your

personality is the star, finding the right person is so much easier. Get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. Download the app and get who gets you on eHarmony. All right. Speaking of mama hearts, there has been something that we have been, we've started to whistle blow on, like we have many things since the infancy stages of this podcast. You'll review, you'll remember that one of the things that we brought your attention

to were the gender reveals and the subsequent missing persons case, fires, injuries that have resulted from that. Death. Death. I'm still very intrigued by the missing person, but we'll dive into that at a later date. Also, the whistleblowing about Stanley cups and all the fuckery going on with those, Trumpism. Right. The straight line from Stanley to Trump.

All this stuff. Something that's really piqued our interest lately are these college parents helicoptering over their college kids' lives. And somebody on the internet has taken screenshots of one of these mom groupies, Facebook groups. And I want to do a dramatic reading of some of these for the listener. So one mama has a broken mama heart and she posts on the internet about her legally adult son who is at college. My son doesn't like the water at the dorm. What can we do for regular external water supply for the kids? That cannot be real. I'm afraid so.

Here's the deal. If your biggest problem in your life is that your little Johnny or little Debbie doesn't like how the water tastes, number one, good for fucking you. A lot of people don't even have fucking water. Number two, the fact that you would post it on the internet, a gripe about water, just shows how dumb you are.

Go fucking buy a bottle of water and shut the fuck up. There's a larger point here. It's not her business. It's not her business. She doesn't know it. As a parent, you tell the child, that's the water that they have, darling. Welcome to adulthood. Right. It's not perfect. Mommy can't fix everything. That's the end. This is where you're going to school. This is the water that they have. There's nothing I can do about it. Quit

bitching to me about it. That's just a pussy kid for sure. Okay. Well, because his mother taught him how to be a pussy. She's enabled pussyism. All right. Another broken mama heart post. Would anyone know if someone has a bedroom or couch to rent occasionally? My son is living in a cold room at a frat with 25-ish other boys and isn't getting any sleep. Woke up Wednesday night with someone climbing into bed with him because the person was so drunk they couldn't find their own bunk.

It wouldn't be every night, but just when he really needs to get some sleep. I know this is a strange request, but he asked me to ask about it on Facebook. Thanks. Wow. First of all, I can solve this problem. It's called a hotel. It's not that hard. But it just, that misses the point. No, I know, but these are how dumb they are that they're putting this on the internet. Like solve your own fucking problem. Telling your child to get a hotel is in the exact same library, in the exact same book that creates these titty babies. What you say is, I'm sorry, this is what college life

is about. You're going to have to draw boundaries with your friends. I can't fix this and I'm sorry, this is what college life is about. You're gonna have to draw boundaries with your friends. I can't fix this and I'm not gonna embarrass you or myself by putting it on Facebook. This is when you have to learn conflict resolution skills and I'm not a part of your resolution because I don't go to school there and that isn't my room and that isn't my bunk. See, my thing is, I mean,

it's embarrassing to put that on the internet. I mean, that's embarrassing. It's embarrassing for the kid and do you think the kid really asked her to put it on fucking Facebook? I don't know. Oh my God. I'm so horrified about this. All right. Another one says, is it too much to ask the college to install cameras in my

child's dorm room? I just want to make sure they're sleepy enough and staying on top of their cleaning and laundry. It's hard to trust they'll remember everything on their own. And before anyone worries about roommate privacy, he is in a single room. That's psychotic. It is. That is psychotic. It doesn't surprise me though. It doesn't surprise me because I've been involved in the high school. Right now I have a high school senior and I've seen what these parents are doing. And I am waving my arms in the group, me saying, why are we involved in this? We're not going to the dance.

Why aren't the kids doing this? So nobody is putting any guard rails on this unhinged helicopter mothering. And it's all these kids have known their entire life, so it's normal to the kids. And these moms then segueing and extending this on into college makes perfect sense to me. I mean, these are the moms that are in there decorating their boy, their son's lockers, decorating their locker rooms,

making sure everything is at the high school, that they're up there, that they're knee deep in all of it. This type of dysfunction just doesn't end overnight. It's a cancer that continues. Yeah. Can you imagine dating or being married to that person's child? How horrible of a mother-in-law. I mean, that's psychotic. She wants to spy. Basically, she wants to spy on her kid. It's gross. It's fucking gross. I remember when Dylan, my oldest son, was a freshman in high school, and he was going

on a trip to New York City. And I went to the parent meeting because my kid was like 14, and I'm sending him to New York. And I trusted they'd done the trip every year. I didn't have any questions. The guy opens it up to questioning. And this one mother asks about what their potential 9-11 plan is, if New York City goes under attack. She wasn't satisfied with his answer. And then she said, do you think it would be possible for me to go and stay at the same hotel but just act like I don't know you guys? To which the teacher to his credit said that's not the point of this trip. The point of this trip is to take the kids to New York to introduce them to

the museums, opera, and the arts without their parents, you know, this need to rebel against their parents. So it just, this doesn't surprise me very much. You just been through the biggest helicopter toxic codependent shit show with your youngest. You bitched about it nonstop on this very podcast. No, I know. But I'm just saying like, these are even a bridge too far that I could have imagined. Let me ask you this though. Okay.

Aren't you on a college mom group me? I was for Sam's freshman year. Yeah. And in fact, I think I've got, I don't think I ever left the group. I just deleted the app. So I could still be in it. I bet there could be some great content in there. Okay, pull it out. Here's one. Is it appropriate to email my child's professors at the start of the semester to introduce myself and establish a line of communication. I just want to make sure I'm aware of any issues before they become a problem. How involved do other parents get with their child's professors? Where can I get a list of professors' emails? Thanks in advance."

And somebody comments, no, it is not appropriate. Your adult child is responsible for introductions. He or she should update you as necessary. And then somebody else comments, definitely no, you have to cut the apron strings. Love the commenters. Love the clap back. Hi. What do you think the professor thinks when little Johnny's mother emails, hi, just wanted to know if there are any absences, too many tardies. You know that they immediately put a target on that kid's back, that the kid's a pussy? Immediately. Well, and a problem. The professor immediately hates the child. I would.

This is what these high school parents that I'm struggling with right now in the group me, they are impeding their children from transitioning from high school to college. All of this hyper fixation on the senior year is an impediment to those children having agency and autonomy over their own lives. When your child is a senior, it is about them really advocating for themselves and managing their schedule, doing all of their shit. It is getting crazy how involved the parents are. I see parents more involved in my son's senior year class than I did when they were in kindergarten.

Yeah, it's on steroids. And it just wasn't like that when we were young. It just simply wasn't. We were latchkey kids. Right. I mean, my mom never came up to school. We rode a bus when we were like six, and you had to walk several blocks to get to the bus stop. Right, by yourself. And you had a key, and you went to school, and then you came home, and you let yourself in, made your snack. There's no cell phone. And then your parents typically didn't even call you and you'd see them when they'd roll

home later. Right. I mean, it just, this whole thing about the parents being super involved, I truly believe most of the schools hate it. The school administration hates it. My guess is the kids hate it. And I think that the parents just do not have enough in their own lives that are going on that they have to make their kids' life their life, and it's fucked up, in my opinion.

I agree. I think it's super fucked up. Okay. Here's another one. Hello. My son is really into chess. He's going to be in aerospace engineering who's trying out for a trumpet position in the AAMB and staying in Tarkington.

If anyone else's child is interested in chess or would like to be, please reach out. I'll share his info. He plays online as well and he's pretty good. He's always looking for a challenge and this is a great way for kids who need to meet some new friends to get together. Oh God.

I mean, here's the deal. I have no doubt why that child doesn't have any people that he meets on his own. I mean, mystery solved. That poor child. I mean, I feel sorry for these kids. I really do. Where does everyone send their kids

to get quarters for the machines? We don't have access to the app and need quarters. The dorm office doesn't have a trade system. We tried Target and Walmart, but they said no. We even tried two local banks and the other bank, and they said no. I'm speechless.

Here's what I would do. Well, I have a kid that's been in Syracuse, New York. He's starting on his fourth year. I have never communicated with anybody at Syracuse University. Ever. Ever. Ever. I don't even see his grades.

They don't mail them to me because he's a legal adult. I have to ask him. That's right. Dylan, will you please take a screenshot of your grades and send it to me because he's a legal adult. I have to ask him, that's right, Dylan, will you please take a screenshot of your grades and send it to me before I pay this tuition so I can vet that you're doing what you say you're doing. At this very moment right now, I have no idea what he's doing. He could be completely stoned off his ass. He could be out all night. He could be at class. I just don't know because I don't go to Syracuse.

It's fucking bananas. I'm assuming you don't get a weekly update on his laundry. No. Or how he gets quarters. Because if I was typing this out on the internet asking people to help me figure out how to get quarters for my child. And I had bread. I would realize I have made a huge mistake in breeding that I've been on the earth close to 50 years and I can't crack the case on how to get quarters. And I'm dragging my child into this breathtaking hypocrisy. It is obscene.

It is so embarrassing. Here's one. Hey, y'all, could we send a text to our kids to find those kids sitting, hanging alone and grab them? My mama heart is aching for these kids. I know they'll be okay, but let's encourage them to seek out those who might need a friendly face right now. Boil her up. And then a bunch of heart emojis. This is just sad. I mean, it's sad. It really is. You know what's so fucked up about this

is they think they're being so helpful. And if you were to put them in front of a therapist, the therapist would diagnose them with issues. The mother. A hundred percent the mother. And here's the deal too. Like, okay, let's assume I got that. I was on that and somebody sent that to me.

My immediate reaction would be, and I hope that I wouldn't tell it to my child, my immediate reaction would be like, that's a kid you need to stay away from. I would immediately think that. This kid is bringing his mom into everything. He's grown. I hope my kid doesn't buddy up with him. I'm just not a good person though. I think that this is just unhinged toxic parenting.

And the fact that there are groups of this where they're communicating with each other. All right, here's one. My baby boy just moved into his dorm. He's been having issues with his roommates and calls me every night crying. Is there any way I can move into my son's dorm? I miss my son so much and I'm so scared for him. I mean, it sounds real, but I mean, that gives me just like, that can't be real. Like that's so bad. I remember when I moved Dylan to Syracuse, you were with us, and we moved him in and you and Josh had gone to like Target or Walmart to get some stuff and we're in his dorm room.

There's no air conditioning. It's one of the hottest days on record in Syracuse, New York. And he's like, he says to me, I don't, why am I moving here? Like, I like my life. I liked everything that was going on in Oklahoma City. Like, why am I doing this? And I go, because this is the next step. Like, you can't be the loser that stays in Oklahoma City and lives at your parents' house and does nothing but play video games all day. This is the next step.

I hate it for you. It's going to be painful. It's going to be awkward. You're going to have to dig deep. This is where you start growing. I can't fix this for you, and I can't do this for you. You have to throw yourself in. You have to make friends. You have to do it all. And he did.

And we talk about it now to this day. It was an incredible growing experience for him because he couldn't just come home on the weekend and have me help him with something. If he was sick, he had to go to Walgreens, to the dock in the box, advocate for himself. You have to figure it out. I can't imagine getting on a Syracuse University mom group me, which I don't know that there is one. Right, hopefully there's not. And typing out something like this and humiliating myself, my intelligence, my ability to mother,

my ability to see my child as his own person, fully capable of handling himself in an autonomous way. But this, talking about wanting to move into the dorm with them. That's where I think, is there some satire there? Because nobody really thinks that's a good idea. But I know people do. It sounds crazy, but people do. All right, and here's the last one.

How often are you checking up with your kids? I text in the morning, afternoon, and at night. And we usually talk before he goes to sleep just to make sure he's on track with homework and assignments and class attendance. Is it too much to ask for a FaceTime call before each class so I know he is attending? Oh my gosh, that is so bad. Let me just tell you, this relates to little kids in my practice of divorce. When you have a parent, two parents that don't live in the same house, the parent

calling all the time, like breakfast, lunch, and dinner, is always viewed as the problem parent, always. The general rule is you get one call a day. That's it, that's the list. And we're talking kids, like five, six, seven-year-old kids, more than one call. Number one, the kids don't wanna talk on the phone. Number two, it's the other parent's time, respect it. But a minute a day is about what you get.

So having done that for 20 years and to hear grown ass women want to talk to their kid every fucking day, breakfast, lunch, dinner before bed and at FaceTime before class, that's fucking psychotic. It's enmeshment. It's enmeshment. I mean, it is clinically fucked up. And it's like the parents when your kid is 19, 18, 19, 20, 21, and you're talking to them on the phone every single day, you have a toxic and meshed relationship with your child. Your child, by nature of being at college, is not that interested in their parents anymore. And if they're calling you a whole bunch and you're wanting them to call you a whole bunch, you probably have major problems with this child and their socialization because you've intervened too much in it. I think I talked to Dylan once, twice a week, tops.

It's just wild that you would be calling your mom. I mean, when you're 19 and 20, you're busy partying, making bad decisions, doing all of the things you're supposed to be doing at that age. Checking in with mommy multiple times a day, it's really, it's sad for this mom that that's what her life has come to and that she puts that much pressure on her kid to fill her needs. Instead of the opposite way, at this age, it should be how you're on your own, buddy, but I'm here for like assistance if you need it, but I can't solve your day in, day out, everyday problems

because I'm enabling you if I do that. Yeah. And I just, you know, as I have an older child going into the workforce, like, he'll call me once, twice a week, probably. That's normal, yeah. And then he'll start telling me about his job. I'm so fucking bored, I can't wait to get off the phone. I mean, my eyes are rolling back in my head, and I'm just like, I have no idea what he's talking about. But I'm trying to ask the appropriate question. So not only are they not interested in what we're doing as parents, I'm not that interested in what they're doing as workers. It's just not that interesting.

And if he had a girlfriend, you wouldn't be hearing as much. 100%. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes the kid calls you more. When they just don't have anybody else to call. Right. Exactly. These kids, I feel sorry for anybody who dates any of these kids. Can you imagine? We talk about emasculating. Most of these were referencing their son. And it's... That would be one of those people that if that is the parent of my child's significant other, the conversation would be, run, run, run. This is not going to get better.

They won't listen because my parents did that with me and I didn't listen. But at least I could tell myself, like I've exposed as much as I can, like, this is not going to turn out well for you. This is a fucked up deal. See, I think it's dangerous to tell a kid, don't marry this person. I think it draws the person to want to rebel even more and marry the person despite their parents. 100%.

But don't you think it would be like, okay, look at this. I'm just, I'm not, I am so about my kids' lives being their lives. Short of the person having a massive drug problem, being abusive, et cetera, et cetera. My son's girlfriend's relationship with her parents is simply not my business. And injecting into it is a splintering off of this problem. It is being part of the problem and not part of the solution. It is simply not my business. Would I talk to you about it? A hundred percent. But if my son has a relationship with another adult, and she has a relationship with her parents that I think is fucked up, but she's nice to my son, my son really likes her, I

am not going to inject myself in there because the child is never going to listen to the parents and go, oh my God, my mom is right. And then what you've done is you've created a wedge, and at some point, because your son gets laid by that person, at some point they're going to tell the spouse, my mom thinks your parents are nuts. And then you're not going to have access to your son's life or your grandkids because you didn't mind your own fucking business. Yeah, I wish I could.

That's what I think. I think I'd have to at least bring it to the attention. I just think I'd have to. I don't want to be that mom. I don't want to be the busybody parent. Now, if my child came to me and openly asked me about it, I would tread very, I would tiptoe and tread very gingerly because at the end of the day, if that's who they marry, I'm putting a wedge in me gaining access to their lives and potential grandkids and whatnot. And I think it also sends a message

that the child can't advocate for themselves or use critical thinking. I don't know, I'm a lot more cautious about these things because I see from all of the stuff that Josh and I went through and parents can have such a massive impact. I just, I think at the end of the day, it boils down to mind your own fucking business. If there is an egregious danger that this relationship poses to my child, I wouldn't blink. I would jump in front

of a bus. I would do whatever. Somebody not liking their in-laws is fucking normal. Right. Everybody doesn't like their in-laws. It's normal. So I'm not going to create a wedge in my son's life and be a busybody because I don't fucking know what's right. Josh and I haven't had the fucking best marriage in the planet. I'm not a fucking expert in it. I don't think I would do it. Yeah, I probably would. Can I ask you a question? Let's say your son, he wants to get married to this girl.

He really likes this girl. The girl is really mega church Christian. And he's like, I'm kind of getting into it too. And he's going to do it for her. Would you step in? If my child wanted to join a mega church? Become? I'm kind of getting into it too. And he's going to do it way that a person would intervene in their child joining a cult. I would be like, so you think that you're going to burn in hell if you masturbate.

That is fucking crazy. And you think that gay people are inherently evil and terrible? That is fucking crazy. Yeah, I absolutely would intervene because evangelical mega church Christianity does nothing but promote the patriarchy and diminish marginalized groups. So I would see that as a clear and present danger to my child's idea of seeking serenity and having a happy marriage, just like somebody would if their child joined Scientology, because I see them both as equally ridiculous.

Maggot would be on my list too. A super Maggot? I have faith that my children not being indoctrinated in religion and valuing critical thinking. Now listen, the penis wants what the penis wants. You know, and it is a very- The vagina wants what the vagina wants. you know? And it is a very powerful, alluring hormones or something that kind of go beyond logic. But I have a feeling just based on who my

oldest son has been with for four or five years, she's non-religious, incredibly open-minded, blends with our family incredibly well, not a magnet, not a, you know, Bible thumper, etc., etc. My younger son has dated some girls and they never really went on, the relationships never went on that long. And I'd be like, so why'd you break up with her? And he was like, she's cute. But you know, she just really wasn't super smart. So I kind of, I mean, I kind of feel like I won't have that issue because we've really valued as a family critical thinking. But I mean, you never know. I mean, there could be somebody who is just, I mean, hot. Yeah. Hellcat bed. Total. Hellcat.

It just has a crazy ass Trump repair. she is the hottest thing on the planet. Look, I know that that could probably happen, but at the end of the day, I would just try to keep out of that. The religious thing I would dive into because I think it is fundamentally abusive and damaging evangelical Christianity is to human beings. But the magus shit, that would be tough. That would be a tough one. Swallowing that.

And it could happen. It could happen. I mean, I don't know. I think they'd spin out pretty quick. Yeah. I mean, here's the- I would hope. I would think that they would spin out. I mean, based on what I've seen with my boys and their dating thus far, I'm not worried about that. Because we, I don't know, we value facts as a family

and we value critical thinking, we're secular. So I hope that I've given them the tools to decipher through that kind of thing. But again, the hormones want what the hormones want. Okay, I just had a flash memory while you were talking. So we're moving Luke into the dorm. He's my youngest, just moved out. We're walking by the dorm room and there's this not his dorm room, but another dorm room. And there's this huge MAGA flag on the wall. And I looked, I turned around and looked at him, I go, do not hang out with that person. They're a dumb bigot. And you know, he probably I go, do not hang out with that person. They're a dumb bigot. And you know he probably went over there and immediately hung out with him. But yeah, I mean,

I just saw it and I was just like turned, like spun on my heels. I was like, do not. Hostage Imagine what a cult that is that you go to college and you decorate your dorm room at 18 years old with a Trump flag. Hostage Yeah, I thought it was pretty. Hostage That's pretty. I mean, that's... Hostage I was kind of shocked. I think my kid's flag says something like, beers don't stand a chance here.

That's typical. Yeah. You know, 18. That's about what I expected. But a Trump flag. Yeah, it was a big. To me, it's like when I see that, I just think like it's modern day KKK.

I agree. You know what I mean? I see it as like a flag of oppression. But I couldn't keep my mouth shut, so I don't have a lot of high hopes for me. Okay, so in conclusion, you'll intervene, Magga, evangelical, crazy parents. I think I'll see you, Magga, and I'll see you crazy Christian. But if the girlfriend has crazy parents, I think I have to bow out on that. I hope I can. I don't want to judge somebody based on their crazy parents if they've been kind and sweet

to my boy. Yeah. I just feel like all that shit kind of as you get older. But we'll see. Maybe I'll learn to keep voice. Yeah. I just feel like all that shit kind of as you get older. But we'll see. Maybe I'll learn to keep my mouth shut. Maybe. One day. Maybe. All right. That's all we have today. Listen to both of our podcasts. Subscribe to both of our podcasts. And if you have not left a five-star review, meet Kurt and me, ma. You can't even imagine the horrors that she will descend into. Right. Okay. All right. Like,ots. We have a new podcast that has dropped.

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