I've Had It - F**k Your Flow
Episode Date: June 27, 2024If you're ugly just be upfront about it.NEW MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE at https://ivehadit.store and Subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts by visiting linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Thank you... to our sponsors: Homes.com: When it comes to finding a home - not just a house - we have everything you need to know, all in one place. https://homes.com. We’ve done your home work. Ibotta: Right now, Ibotta is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code HADIT when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app to start earning cash back and use code HADIT. Lumen: If you want to take the next step in improving your health, head to https://lumen.me/HADIT for 15% off your purchase. Quince: Pack your bags with high-quality essentials from Quince! Go to https://Quince.com/hadit for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Shady Ray's: Head to https://shadyrays.com and use code: Hadit for 40% off sunglasses. Try for yourself the shades rated 5 stars by over 300,000 people. Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Ready? One, two, three. We just got clapped on. I would say six out of 10, five out of
10. I was going to say like four. I mean, that was a very stiff, stiff. Try it again.
Try it again. One, two, three. Much better. Much better. Now we're going to have a better
show. Much, much better show.
Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is people, retail,
that try to get you to get a credit card for their company. So yesterday, I was in a store with my
son, the worker tells me, hey, you can get a credit card here and save 10%. I'm like, great,
that's wonderful. No, thank you. So we get to the counter, I'm paying. He's like, oh, hey, you can get a credit card here and save 10%. I'm like, great, that's wonderful.
No, thank you. So we get to the counter. I'm paying. He's like, oh, well, you can get a
credit card and save 10%. I'm like, no, thank you. Then as he's ringing me up, the manager
comes over and says, hey, if you get a credit card, you get 10% off. and I'm just like, no, I don't want your fucking credit card.
No means no.
No is a complete sentence.
No, no, no.
Stop hassling me about it.
Does that ever happen to you?
Yes, I can even one up you on this.
Oh, please do.
I was on a flight and the flight attendants started pressuring the credit card to earn like airline points
and passed out credit card applications to the passengers on the flight.
And what this is is a hostage style capitalism.
Yes.
You are on an airplane, in a tube, you're a complete hostage.
Everybody needs to be invisible,
and all the things that we've talked about
in order to be a really good flyer.
The one thing that you should have on the airplane
is you don't have your phone notifications
if you don't log into Wi-Fi, which oftentimes I don't
because I just want the respite
from all of the notifications.
And I think it should be free from capitalism.
We have to buy all of these things all the time.
We're constantly being asked, do you want to sign up for this?
Do you want this newsletter?
Do you want this?
Do you want on and on?
Do you want this credit card?
And I don't fault the flight attendants
because the flight attendants didn't decide to do this.
This is a scramble the jet situation that happened at these
airlines around you know, where they're doing like a zoom call to
sets of scrambling jets where they're like, let's scramble the
jets on the jet. Right? This is a triple scramble jet situation. I
have had it with that. If you want a credit card, you should decide
to get your credit card.
Maybe they offer one time.
But the same thing happens when you get on.
I get onto a website to buy something.
Do you want 10% off this purchase?
That pops up right when I'm about to click on maybe
the t-shirt I want to buy.
So I x that out, because I don't want them
to have my email address, because then that opens you up to lifelong
harassment.
Right.
I mean, that's really bad.
It's my fight against email terrorism, which is a rampant problem that goes widely unregulated.
Nobody talks about it.
Nobody does anything about it, but that's neither here nor there.
All we're trying to do is just get by.
If we're on an airplane, we just want to be on the plane.
If we're at a store, we just want to go through the motions.
If we want to get a credit card, that's something we'll do on our own terms.
I've had it.
I've had it too, and I get the fact.
I think you're 100% right.
I don't fault the employees of the retailer for trying to get me to do it
because they have just been browbeat by corporate. Make them get a credit card, make them get a credit card.
In fact, he told me they don't work on commission there but we could get this
credit card. So I guess there's some kind of incentive for the employees to have a
customer get a credit card but I was just really, I mean it just really put me
off. I just
didn't like it. It's forced capitalism. It is. It's forced where they force it on you. And I cannot
stand that. All right, let me tell you what I've had it with. I had it with Josh, my husband.
And here's something particular that he does that is completely annoying. So we recently
were on a trip together, little couples trip, just the two of us.
Love fest.
And we love to go shopping. So we walk into a store that specializes in men's
suits. He knows they specialize in men's suits. I know they specialize in men's suits. People
that buy men's suits particularly know that these brands specialize, 95% of their entire
inventory would be men's suits. We're in France, okay? So we walk into the store. French guy's like bonjour and Josh is like I'm here to buy a suit.
They're like obviously. Okay. Voila. And then Josh proceeds to tell the person a
lot of uninteresting unnecessary information. So he tells this guy, I'm an attorney. Oh, no. And every single day,
I wear a black suit with a black tie. That's what I wear, a black suit with a black tie.
So I go to court or I go to my office and I wear a black suit with a black tie. I'm an attorney
and I wear a black suit with a black tie. So
where are your black suits? So then the guy's like, Monsieur, upstairs. And all
this, you know, stores in Europe are vertical because they don't have the land
for them like American stores where it's all one level. So upstairs, after you, we
get on the elevator. Josh starts in again about this biography.
Please say no.
Yes.
No.
And here's the thing about French people.
They're not into like superfluous details and a lot of yak mouthing chit chat.
So I'm already like secondhand embarrassment dying here.
I'm like, he doesn't give a fuck what you do for a living, what you wear.
What we're talking about right now is what you want.
So we get in the elevator and it starts all over again.
I really just like black suits.
I like to wear a black suit, a white shirt,
sometimes possibly a blue shirt,
but always with a black tie.
And the guy looks at him and he goes, okay.
The elevators in Europe are 24 inches by 24 inches, which just exacerbated how miserable
this is. So to tell you and the listener what I've had it with are people that go shopping
and then give a biography. Instead of just saying, I'm in the market for a black suit,
and then you just get to the nut cuttin' of buying the black suit.
When you're shopping with Josh Welch,
you have to, I mean, he's scrambling jets
on the way in with the helper.
These guys don't give a fuck what he does for a living.
They don't care if he's a pimp.
They don't care if he's a coke dealer.
They don't care if he's a dignitary, an attorney.
All of it is irrelevant.
But Josh thought it was all relevant.
So here's what makes it worse.
We're in this 24 inch by 24 inch elevator and Josh goes through the biography again
with the guy and he does the okay.
And Josh looks at me because he could kind of tell like at this point he'd probably
belabored this point.
So Josh looks at me in this tiny postage stamp
of an elevator and I kind of glare at him and he announces, then we start narrating.
I think my wife's mad at me, she just gave me a dirty look.
Oh no, uh-uh. No, we didn't.
Yes, and I'm like, I want out of this elevator, out of this store and out of the country of
France, I want away from this man. Needless
to say, then I was able to sit down, watch Josh Tram, but we went through. I'm not kidding
you. We went to another store that sold suits and it was the same song and dance.
Did he ever pick up on the reason you might be irritated with him? Was that he gave so
much unnecessary background on himself
to buy a suit.
Well, I told him, okay, good.
As we left the store, I said, what's up with you giving all of this background information
about yourself?
It's just those people don't care.
And he goes, I want them to know I want to paint the picture for them.
And I'm like, well, you did. You did. And you know what? They were less helpful because they were bored
to fucking tears. Yeah, you bored. You sent them into such a state of boredom. They couldn't
even help you as well. This poor guy, this one guy that helped him. Josh goes through
his entire biography, hands the guy his business
card.
No, he doesn't.
Yes. Here's my business card. Why don't you WhatsApp me later if you don't see me pop
back in? Because he had tried on the suit jacket. He didn't like it. After he decided
he didn't like the jacket, didn't like the way it fit him, he goes and proceeds to tell
the person, here's my phone number. Go ahead and start harassing me. So then the next day,
Jean was his name, does as told, and starts whatsapping Josh. And in order to
get to other stores from our hotel, we always had to pass by this store, and
Josh would say, hey I'm gonna duck down beside you so that John doesn't see me. And I said, John, the guy you told to harass you on WhatsApp.
And he's like, yeah, I was just, I admit, I admit it was just a huge faux pas. I mean,
it's just unbelievable.
It's like he created this relationship with this guy and he wanted to keep it going.
And then he wanted to hide from him. Like it was a, he was breaking up with him
when the guy was like, I'm not selling anything you want.
You told me to call you.
I don't want to call you
because you're the most boring motherfucker on the planet.
And then Josh makes the scene about it.
I just don't understand this.
The entire thing is just psychotic episode
repeated by another psychotic episode. But here's the thing, I had a great time.
All this shit that he does, I just kind of chuckle at.
I had it with him, particularly in that elevator.
That was the climax of it.
But he ended up buying a suit from this guy after we went through Josh's biography.
All of the things.
Are you sure he understood that Josh was an attorney and liked black suits?
I don't know. I mean, it's just, and I could tell the guy was just kind of like, okay,
you know, like I got it and it doesn't fucking matter. I don't give a fuck what you do. You
want a black suit. I get it. let's move on. But it is wild.
I mean, it is absolutely wild.
You know the thing about Josh that fascinates me?
He spends so much time,
more than anybody I've ever come into contact with,
thinking about what he wears.
Yeah, it really is gold medal Olympian status
worrying about what he's gonna wear. It's unbelievable. really is gold medal Olympian status,
worrying about what he's gonna wear. It's unbelievable.
It's unbelievable.
And what's so funny is he worries about it to go nowhere.
Pumps, like during the pandemic,
he did two to three outfit changes per day.
It's unbelievable.
I've seen him go to the closet and put on a pair of pajamas,
go out into the kitchen living room, fiddle around with something. And then I see him
walk back in and do an outfit change for pajamas.
Yeah, it's, it's bizarre. The only thing that saves him from being strangled for being obnoxious
is he does his own laundry.
He does do his own laundry and he's charming and funny and he can, he's self-deprecating.
Right.
All of these things that I bring up, we die laughing about.
But it's just, it's unbelievable.
We went to go buy these glasses, like eyeglasses, and here's another thing I've had it with
with Josh.
So about five years ago, he comes home and he's wearing a pair of glasses.
I never knew he had a vision problem, ever.
Like, he never wore glasses, he never complained about anything, so he walks in the house,
he has on a pair of glasses.
And I'm like, what's going on here?
I had no idea.
Are you having like the problem reading or
whatever? He goes, no. So he went to the optometrist and bought a pair of glasses where he's literally
faking an eye problem.
I did not know this this whole time. I thought he needed glasses.
Okay, so here's what happens with the whole thing. So he found like a minor thing with Josh's vision. Okay,
so Josh starts wearing the lenses. Around this same time, he crosses over to probably late 40s,
early 50s, where you do need, you know, corrective glasses. Well, I think the more he wore the glasses,
the laser his eyes got, and it developed into a full-blown need for glasses,
but the original purchasing of glasses
was full optical fraud.
It was a full-blown fraudulent activity, but I digress.
So we're in Paris, we're going to buy these glasses,
all right, and they basically fit you perfectly
for the glasses, They measure your face and do all this Parisian shit with your glasses, right?
Josh has an erection as big as the Eiffel Tower because he loves this shit, right?
So then the guy that owns the eyeglass shop, he says, okay, so it will take us a
while to get the lenses in, so we'll mail these
to you in the United States.
And Josh was like, no.
Yeah, I knew that wouldn't do.
I'm leaving France with these glasses.
And the guy's like, but Josh, you know, I'm talking about four to five days and I'm sitting
there, I know how this is going to end.
And Josh is like, no, I need to take these classes with me.
If you can't put the lenses in them, I'll take the frames
and I'll take them back to Oklahoma City
and I'll have my person put the lenses in them.
He said, but I really want to put the lenses in them.
So they go back and forth and Josh goes, listen,
if you're dealing with a crack addict
and you tell the crack addict,
just wait four to five days for the crack cocaine,
they're not going to be able to do that. Similarly, I'm unable to wait the four or five days for
these frames. I have to take these frames with us. And the guy kind of awkwardly chuckles
and I look at him and I go, look, we're Americans. We totally fit this to a T. There's no delaying gratification. My frames,
you can ship to me. I can wait the four to five days. He cannot. There is no delaying
gratification whatsoever.
So did he take the frames home?
Fuck yes, he did.
And does he have to get them outfitted with the lenses here?
Yeah, and guess how long that takes?
Like weeks.
Four to five days.
It's the exact same fucking thing.
But he is such a psychopath.
He had to leave the country of France with his glasses because he's a nut.
And you wouldn't have believed the biographical detail we went into with them.
But you know what?
We could sit here and talk about my grievances with Josh forever and ever and ever.
Patriots, welcome to I've Had It.
I'm Jennifer.
I'm Angie.
She is America's greatest penile shamer.
And it's been a long, long time since she's been laid.
Kylie, what's going on in the World Wide Web?
I've got two reviews for you.
OK.
This first one is five stars titled
My Dating Profile for Pumps.
Okay.
Hardworking, 6'4", blue collar, rock hard giant cock, looking for a finely aged blonde
woman, preferably one that takes Mongero.
I love a woman who is a bad pet owner, likes it from the back, and pledges herself as a
patriot to our nation.
Please only contact me if you meet these exact requirements.
P.S. If you don't care about global warming, I might just propose on the first date.
Oh my God, we have found my man. We have found my match.
Oh my God, that's perfect. That is perfect. Do we have any
information on this person? Contact information? Do you want him to reach out?
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
He sounds perfect.
I'd like to get him in the hot seat in here
and let the Patriots and Kylie and Seth and I interview him
on your behalf.
Yeah, I mean, he just sounds like too good to be true.
That is absolute perfection.
Read that first part again, because that just,
it hit all my bells and whistles.
Hardworking, 6'4", blue collar, rock hard giant cock.
Sold.
That's what it is.
Sold.
I mean, sold.
Ding, ding, ding.
We have a winner.
What's your favorite part of that?
Well, I think it's obvious what my favorite part is.
I like the 6'4".
I like the rock hard, big rock hard cock. I mean, that is is just I couldn't be happier about that.
Alright the other one is five stars a quick rant about pumps. So this week I
ran into Angie pumps Sullivan and Jennifer at an event in LA. When I told
pumps I was a big fan of their show, she immediately replied, are you gay? Very disappointed Pumps would question someone's sexuality
like that just for being a fan.
I've had it with people assuming that all male,
IHIP fans are gay, hashtag straight men like IHIP,
hashtag Pumps is not an ally, keep up the great work.
And that is from a user named Jeremy Pearl.
I know exactly who it is.
And here's the deal.
He is the sweetest, most fun.
We loved him.
We sat next to him.
And he could quote the podcast.
I mean, he was in deep.
He is an active listener.
Active listener.
Not a lackluster listener.
No.
He knew details.
He knew the stuff we liked.
Everything.
We didn't, the language we used, brow beat, etc.
He was a five star listener.
Five stars.
How many stars did he give us?
Five.
Okay.
Okay.
So he's just going on and on.
And as the night goes on, I'm just thinking. So I just look at him and go,
are you gay? And he's like, no, I'm straight. And I was so happy. Like, oh my gosh, we have straight listeners. So now he's browbeating me. So I'm going to say, I apologize. I'm thrilled to learn
we have such avid straight male listeners, but yeah, I have to own that. That's 100% true. The most hilarious part about that is so he's sitting next to me, then it's Pumps, and then
next to Pumps is Ben Mycelis. Like the person that she believes is her boyfriend that she
spends hours upon hours upon hours with. And Ben Mycelis, of course, runs the Midas Touch Network. So,
pumps and pumps is really loud. So she's like, Oh my God, are you gay? I don't think it was
that loud. It was. And then Ben Mycelis kind of leans in and I see him like waiting for
his employee to respond. And he like kind of has this shit eating grin on his face and
Jeremy's like, no, I'm straight pumps.
I just like I thought.
And Ben busts out and he goes, God, I thought maybe he is.
Was my gay door that off?
I mean, I thought he was straight, but who knows?
Maybe he's gay.
That makes no difference to me.
But Ben, I mean, to say he leaned in for the response and Jeremy played it so well because there was about a five second
Pregnant pause after pumps asked the question because he was so incredulous that you were just oh my god. Are you gay?
Yeah, it was probably rude in retrospect, but we've been hanging out. I mean, I felt like we were buddies at that point
Yes, we've been hanging out with him all night, right? It wasn't just like, hi, it's nice to meet you.
I'm a fan of I've had it. Are you gay?
It was just like this was three hours in.
Yep. All right.
Well, those are fantastic reviews.
I love that.
I'm really pleased about the potential person in the reviews.
I fear that could be a fictional character.
It just might be.
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All right. Today we're going to hear from our listeners and I have the hanging file that a lot
of you on YouTube made fun of me for. Yeah copies in here, because we are professional,
and you can make fun of me all you want,
but this is our filing system
that our producers handed right over to me
with all of this fantastic content.
I love a hanging file.
I guess those are out of vogue.
You know what?
We love a hanging file.
And also I like people that give a shit.
I like both sides of that.
All right, so first we're gonna hear from Jasmine.
Jasmine emailed the podcast and she says,
Hi both, listening to your last episode
in the grammar discourse,
I wanted to add a grievance of mine.
When people say 3 a.m. in the morning,
saying 3 a.m. applies that it is in the morning.
TikTok for you, Paige.
FYP means for you, Paige.
Stop adding unnecessary moot words.
I also noticed that about the AM and the PM.
It's like everybody knows if you say 3 AM, that's in the morning.
The PM, I think it's repetitive. I completely agree with her.
It needs to stop because it's redundancy on steroids.
There's no oversight. Everybody's just doing this out with reckless abandon all over the internet.
But our clever producers added
some more of these. The GOP party, which is the grand old
party party. Right. SAT test. Right. Pin number. Right. It
should just be what's your pin. What's your pin? ATM machine. I
think I do the pin number.
I do too.
But I don't do the ATM machine.
I just say I'm going to the ATM.
I'm pretty sure that I oftentimes say ATM machine.
You do?
I haven't noticed that.
This is one that drives me crazy is when people say, I could care less.
I couldn't care less.
That's correct.
Next up are responses that Kylie put on
Instagram. Just a simple, what have you had it with? Mel Harvey says, if grandma was alive today,
she would be celebrating her 117th birthday. Mel says, no, she wouldn't.
No, she wouldn't. She'd be fucking miserable begging to die. Okay, and here's somebody says, Steph J. Williams says, when you're quote, mama heart is full
just because your kid wasn't an asshole. Yeah, that's true. And I do take issue with the mama heart. People will say, oh, my mom
heart is so full. I'm like, did you have to say that? Is that necessary?
That kind of language is so fucking annoying to me. It's just to me, it's this superficial connection to parenting, to where
you think you can say these, my mama heart. And I just, I don't know, to me, every time somebody
says shit like that, I'm like, they have a fucked up relationship with their kids. That's what I
think. Maybe I'm wrong. But most of the time with these things, if you're going out of your way to
say that kind of stuff, you're covering something up. When I hear that, you know what I immediately picture
in my head?
Live, laugh, love over their kitchen table painted on wood.
Yeah.
I mean, it's just like it flashes in my brain
like a neon sign.
And you know what I think when you say live, laugh, love,
paint it, you know, like wall art,
you know what I think immediately?
What?
Over the table, you know what I think is on the table?
Stanley Cup.
And we know what happens when you have a Stanley Cup.
Trump rally.
You're on the precipice of a Trump rally.
You're on your way to a Trump rally is what that means.
All right, R.A. Davis posts on our Instagram,
she's had it with hat fishing.
If you're ugly, please be upfront about it.
Don't hide it under a hat, thanks.
It's interesting that this comes up
because Bumps is obsessed.
I knew, I knew with this crazy person on Instagram
who wears hats all the time.
And then you, I mean, you went fucking deep sea diving on her Instagram to figure out why she wore the hat all the time. And then you went fucking deep sea diving on her Instagram
to figure out why she wore the hat all the time.
I couldn't wrap my head around these hats.
She has a 20 inch forehead.
I immediately screenshotted it and sent it to Jennifer.
And I was like, I've gotten to the deep dark bottom
of why we wear a hat all the time.
I mean, it was just as clear as the nose on my face.
All right, Sabby Lish writes to us on Instagram and says they've had it with
people telling me to go with the flow. Fuck your flow. I'm pissed for a reason.
I hundred percent. I think that's a great habit. I haven't ever said it and I need
to. It was an oversight on my part. I don't want to fucking go with the flow
because most people in the flow are stupid.
Yeah.
I mean, mediocrity leads the way 90% of the time.
Why would I want to be a part of that?
You know what else mediocrity leads to?
What?
Stanley cups and Trump rallies.
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All right, Morgan BN016 messaged us and says,
influencers eating during a video, you aren't that busy. We don't care about
your yogurt. I've just had it with like, I'll never understand this. I will never fucking
understand this. And they it is all the rave. But influencers that are putting on makeup on camera,
but they're not talking about the makeup application.
They're like, oh my God.
So the other day I was walking my dog
and then my dog like took a poop.
And then I realized I didn't have a bag.
And so, hang on, let me put this mascara on.
So anyway, I had to rush back to my house and get the bag.
And I'm like, what the fuck is this? Right, no, I had to rush back to my house and get the bag and I'm like, what the fuck
is this?
Right.
No, I don't get it.
It is literally like what psychiatrists refer to as flight of ideas.
It is like we are mainstreaming lunacy on the internet.
If you're going to put on makeup, talk about putting on your fucking makeup.
If you're going to tell us a story, connect with the audience.
To me, it's like I don't really give a shit about's like, I don't really give a shit about the story.
I don't really give a shit about my followers.
So I'm going to put on my makeup and tell
you some mundane thing.
I look down and these fucking videos have like 20,000 likes.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
Yeah, I don't get it.
I thought that those Get Ready With Me videos were
like makeup tips.
Some of them are, which I understand.
Which I totally am in on. I would be interested
in that if I was looking for a certain aspect of makeup. But my daughter falls prey to this
all the time. And I'm like, what are they even fucking talking about? Why do you care?
Why are they putting on their makeup? I mean, it's so confusing to me. I mean, I see it
and I can't reconcile any of it. I think it's just bad content. If you're going to give somebody a message,
have the decency to make eye contact with the camera lens
and maybe throw some pictures into it.
But to sit there like you're so goddamn important
that you have to put on your makeup while you tell this story.
And here's the deal.
I want everybody online to quit feeding this,
because it's just not that great a content.
Or maybe we're the assholes.
I was going to say I think we're the assholes because I think people really like it. Those
are super popular. Be like us sitting here doing this podcast.
Braiding each other's hair. French braiding each other's hair.
Yeah, I don't know people.
Which is probably a lot of sick fucks out there that would enjoy it.
Right.
But we're not doing that.
No. All right. Next up is
Steph Deloache and they say, people who post nonstop during a relationship then give us nothing
during a breakup. It's so true. And here's the deal. I think it makes it worse when you just
stop posting and you remove all the pictures because then my mind goes to instead of we just had
an amicable parting of the ways. I'm like, Oh my God, somebody got caught fucking around.
Somebody was being naughty. I mean, I go so dramatic because I feel like that's such a
dramatic thing to do. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Nothing. No explanation. I mean,
I immediately go to worst case scenario.
Here's the thing. I immediately know when people post nonstop about their relationship
that the breakup is imminent.
No, absolutely.
You know immediately that it's going to happen because like there was a case study that you
and I had in the early days of Facebook.
Right.
I mean, we're talking 2008, 2009.
And this couple would post together
on Facebook that commented to each other on Facebook
for everybody to see.
Guess what happened to this couple?
I mean, Dear John letters, leaving on buses
in the middle of the night, lots of drama.
And it was just, you knew the breakup was coming because no
healthy couple documents the relationship to that extent.
Yeah. And I will say, I hate to give you any credit, but you were a trailblazer on this
issue. You were like, these people are communicating too much online to each other a breakup within six months and you were right. I mean it
was just like nailed it and it's been a pattern that we've seen over and over
and over and over again. Oh my god the one I'm about to read to you and the
listener is nothing short of unpatriotic blasphemy. And Daphne Bissnett says, I'm sorry, ladies, French
Bulldogs. Daphne? Those are fighting words, Daphne. What the fuck, patriots? Unite against
Daphne. French Bulldogs? What the fuck is wrong with Daphne? We need
to send out a search party to go check on Daphne. She might be psychotic. She's having
a nervous breakdown. Daphne, what the fuck? Here's the deal. Before you own and have a
relationship with a French Bulldog, you cannot identify with it. It's
just a totally different level. So I forgive Daphne because I've been Daphne and you just
don't know until you own one. Here's what I'm going to say about Daphne is this is a
space where even you can say what you've had it with. And there are
three little creatures that Pumps and I love more than all of our biological
human children combined. And that is tubbers, Cha-Cha, and Oliver Glizzard. And
those are our little Frenchies. And they are our precious angels sent to us from
an imaginary sky god. We're certain of it and they chose
us to be their mothers. We love these babies, but you can come into this space
and you can give us shit for it and we're fine with it. Absolutely. Okay, let me
tell you, that's kind of funny that that's what you just said because last
night, Ollie was super tired and I'm holding him like a baby and rubbing his
belly. It's like obnoxious. So my youngest Luke walks in and he's like,
okay, I have a question for you.
If you were standing on a cliff
and you can only save me or Ollie, who would you save?
And I said, that's not a fair question
because you're my son.
So obviously I would save you, but it would be hard on
me. And then he said, you had to save me or Ollie, but I'm wearing full MAGA gear. And
you know, the minute I get back on the cliff, I'm going to a MAGA rally. Who do you save?
And I said, peace out buddy. Sorry. The dog. I mean, obviously, easy. You're too far gone.
Yeah. If you're going to a MAGA rally and you got a MAGA hat on, I'm doing you a favor.
God, wouldn't you just feel like an abject failure as a mother if your kid was going to MAGA shit,
wearing MAGA shit, doing MAGA shit. I would just feel like, Jesus Christ,
I've raised a psychopath. Or I would think they're trying to rebel. There's some kind
of rebellion here going. I'll tell you what, being a dog mom really is one of my greatest
joys in my life. Absolutely. These dogs, they just are consistent. They want to do everything that I want to
do when I want to do it. And when they are being stubborn, it's adorable. Whereas human
children comes with a lot of complications. They never want to do anything you want to
do. They don't want to eat what you feed them. It's just a, it's a minefield of disappointment and conflicting opinions. Dogs just go with speaking of going with the
flow. They just they just want to be with you. Right. Now don't get it twisted. Listener,
we love love love our children. But this podcast isn't about our children. There are a lot
of mommy podcasts wherein you can listen to that. But God, I love those dogs. I could
do a whole podcast on dog love.
I like it too. I mean, and here's the deal. I feel like children, they're constantly disappointed
in you and you're constantly disappointed in them. But with your dog, like everything
you do is top of the line. Everything they do is top of the line.
My dogs make me want to be a better person.
Agree. You know,
totally agree. Like I want my dogs, I want to live up to what they think I am. Right.
Yeah, totally. All right, listeners, please sign up for us on Patreon. I've had it. And
soon we're going to be announcing a couple more tour dates for this year, although
we're taking a little bit of a break from it. But stay tuned because we I think we're going to do
one East Coast, one West Coast. And as you know, Australia, we're in the throes of brow beating our
Booker right now to make sure we roll out the Brecky tour in 2025 of January, because it is
We roll out the Brecky tour in 2025 of January because it is absolutely paramount that we hit Australia to defend ourselves and do a full blown apology tour.
All right listeners, we'll see you soon.
We will see you next I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that.