I've Had It - Full Grown Ti**y Baby

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Jennifer's getting married at a nudist colony and Pumps is the maid of honor.NEW TOUR DATES ANNOUNCED! For more I've Had It + tour updates, merch and more at linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Thank you to our sponsors: Quince: Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high-quality closet essentials. Go to https://Quince.com/hadit for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. eharmony: Give eharmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz, so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eharmony – Get Who Gets You! Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever, if you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say?

Cacaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it. That's, that's, Cacaw! That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Welcome to I've Had It, a place for open minded thinkers that like to traffic and petty grievances.

I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is America's greatest penile shamer and America's greatest legal mind and the star of our show. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I have had it with is when you call your doctor's office to make an appointment. And the fucking message goes on and on about if this is a medical emergency, call 911. I'm like, no shit, Sherlock. Of course, if it's a medical emergency, I'm calling 911. Do we have to dumb everything down for the

dumbest person? Because somebody, and I know it's the lawyers, somebody called in when they were in the middle of a heart attack, called their doctor like a dipshit. So now we're all suffering through this eternal message of, if this is a medical emergency, please hang up and call 911. Fuck off. We know that. We're not all that dumb. I've had it.

I hear this all the time. And I think what person, I always think that in this year is calling the doctor when it's a medical emergency and not calling 911. Like how do we not know this? But sadly, I think, you know, a lot of things just enable and perpetuate stupidity. This is one. And this would be pretty close to the top five. Right. Of the list. Yeah. And I'm sure that it's the lawyers that went through on the malpractice insurance and said everybody has to put this on the deal. My thought is, if you are so dumb, because everybody knows you don't get a person.

Hang on. Let me ask you this. Let's role play for a second. I am a surgeon, orthopedic surgeon, and you are my lawyer. And I say, so we're going to have our answering machine pick up and then give voice prompts. And I'm thinking that I just want to say, you know, for it to make an appointment, press one for a refill press too. I don't think I want to include the nine one one thing, because I think that's self-evident. What do you say I do counselor? As a lawyer, I would say somebody just got their ass fucking sued over this

because the dumbest person in America called their doctor in the middle of a medical emergency and now you're fucked and all your colleagues are fucked because we all have to put this stupid message about calling 911 in an emergency because there's one person out of 330 that was so fucking stupid. They called their doctor and now everybody's punished. I would have to say you have to include it. I'm sure the malpractice insurance requires it now. Let me ask you this. As an attorney, like you know your outgoing message, do you need to have some sort of caveat? Like this is a legal emergency.

Please call 911. Does such a thing exist? Or, or should you say, hello, you've reached Angie pump Sullivan attorney at law. Whatever you do, do not under any circumstances talk to the cops. To set up an appointment, press one. Right. Do not talk to the cops. Do not blow in the breathalyzer.

Hi this is Angie, attorney at law, aka Pubs. Do not talk to the cops. Do not blow in the breathalyzer. Do not fuck this thing up until I can get with you. To make an appointment, press one. To hear the clap heard around the world, press two. To see the apples and socks, press three for a video. All right.

Let me tell you what I've had it with. It's something I want to revisit because in a previous episode, we had spoken about being at a destination wedding and they provide transportation for you. And then you're a hostage, you don't have an exit route, blah, blah. Josh and I recently went to a destination wedding in Montana. And the very first night it was a welcome party and transportation was provided. And I started getting a lot of anxiety about what if I want to leave early and the first exit you can't leave early, et cetera, et cetera.

But they had said on the invitation, the welcome party is from six to eight. I can do anything from six to eight. So those are within my exiting hours. Well, lo and behold, I start having a pretty good time chit chatting, small talking. You know, it's beautiful in Montana. It's like in Yellowstone. It's just fabulous. And then the most genius thing I've ever seen happen. The host of the welcome party says, hey guys, thanks everybody for coming. Your transportation is waiting outside. And I thought that is the smartest MFR that's ever hosted an event in the history of events because they said you cannot bring your own car. You can't do it. You have to take our transportation. He did the reverse hostage.

Yes, I love it. He had them all arrive at eight. I'm sorry, guys, your transportation's here. And he emptied the party out on his terms. Get the fuck out. Your ride is here. So here's what I'm gonna start doing. When I have a party, which I'm not ever going to, that's what I was gonna say, what are you having a party? But if I do, if I have, you know,

a lapse of judgment and plan some event, I'm just gonna say, hey guys, it's 8pm. The party's over. Your rides are out front. Go get in your car. I've called some extra Ubers and taxis. If you're sober, you can drive. If not, everybody out the front door. That's basically what they did. And it was brilliant. I'll tell you what, right there, that person is to be admired. Their event planning skills put on a pedestal. Because here's the thing, I don't care where you are or what you're doing. You've got a few lingers, always. They just want to make it go on. But this is like, you're not an asshole because you want to leave. Everybody's leaving. If the conversation's so great, pick it up tomorrow.

I mean, it's perfect. And that's honestly, that's why I don't host stuff at my house. When like we have book club or mahjong or whatever, I don't want to host it at my house because I want to be able to leave when I'm ready to go. And you're a hostage when it's at your house. Here's the genius of what this man did, what these hosts did. Initially, I'm thinking I don't want to take the group transportation because I'm going

to be a hostage. Right. I hate group transportation. What I was unaware of was that this man was thinking, I don't want to have all these people in my home because I don't want to have all these people in my home because I don't want to be a hostage in my own home. Right. We were on the same team. Right. So he had the transportation there. And I mean, it was an announcement there at the door and he's like, thanks everybody. And I mean, the movement, the energy was guiding everybody out the door. And it

was brilliant because you could tell there were some lingerers. You could tell some people were locked and loaded, about four or five cocktails deep that were going to just torture the hosts from here to eternity. But the hosts had boundaries. The hosts had a plan. They put a start time. They put an end time. And in the hostage situation that as a guest,

I thought I was gonna be in, the host did the reverse hostage. He flipped the script. Brilliant. Well, let that be a note to us if we ever host anything. Don't get excited listener, we're not hosting Jack shit. Yeah, probably not. Except for our tour.

And also when that's over, get the fuck out. All right, Kylie, do we have anything going on in the World Wide Web? We do. We have some reviews and some messages I'm going to read you. Okay. I'm going to start with a DM I got. Hi, my name is Kayden and I'm going to validate Jen's correlation between Stanley Cup usage and conservatism.

Oh, here we go. I'm a registered nurse and we were taught that the long-term effects of lead exposure are decreased mental capacity, decreased ability to learn, antisocial behavior, irritability, and paranoia. Now, who does that sound like to you? I'll let you do with that info what you will, patriots. You see, this is a hypothesis that I started and now the data is rolling in. Another listener sent me a screen grab of that Candace Owens on her podcast. And guess what she had right in the shot, sitting right there, right by her microphone.

A Stanley Cup. Yep. Yep. I'm just saying that it's a burden being right all the time. Well, and now the science is coming in. The science is. A medical professional. We are conducting our own study. And now we are confirming exactly what I've known.

A person of science. OK, this is a review, five stars, from Pump's Pussy Palace, titled, Kylie, If You Need Help, Blink Twice. The legal mind fossil, her child, and the charming lesbian are truly a triple threat. Ladies, not sure if you've heard of smell maxing, but this issue needs to be addressed. I've had it with my 15-year-old brother, buying cologne and dousing himself in it. You are not Johnny Depp. Please stop it.

I can smell where you've been in the house from the scent trail. It does not make you more alpha. I would rather smell your natural BO than have Abercrombie and Fitch in my house. Enough is enough. Yeah, it's cologne abuse. It's cologne abuse. Josh has it. Oh, Josh is the worst.

Yeah, I have to say, I identify with that because I have an 18-year-old that you, I think he just stands in his room and he just pours it all over him before he leaves. And I can tell you if he's gone and gotten water. I can tell you if he's gotten a bag of chips. I can tell you if he's been in my room because it is literally like a fog that follows him. And I'm always like, slow down on the cologne. But they don't. And look at Josh. Yeah. I mean, I don't think he's grown out of it. Fortunately for me, Josh has started using more subtle sense

that, you know, because he can't help it. Josh has two switches and it's accelerator smashed to the floorboard or feet slamming on the brakes. Those are the two options that we have with Josh, right? So when it comes to clone, it's one squirts good, 50 squirts better. Right. And so he's either going to do one or 50. It's not possible to do wrist, neck, call it.

And so, but we, we, we've been doing some scent shopping and I've been trying to mitigate this as best I can, just basically for the general public. You're doing a public service. Yeah. You're so selfless. No, smell maxing is, is, yeah, it's a problem. I haven't heardless. Smell-maxing is a problem. I haven't heard that term and I like it. I do too.

But here's the thing, I wonder, because I'm nose-blind to my laundry soap, and I'm nose-blind to my perfume. So I'm assuming they're nose-blind to how bad it is. Yes, I think they're nose-blind to it. Smell-maxing. I just want to visit for any new patriots and gay triads and to the listener. We've talked about this on the pod before, but it's worthy of a revisit. One day, Bob's got an anonymous letter from a neighbor complaining about how bad her

laundry soap smells and would not allow her son to come into her house anymore. And everybody in the neighborhood was talking about how bad you, your kids, and just the outside of your house smelled because of your laundry soap. And I'm so mad at you and I can't even believe we're still friends that you've somehow lost this letter because I must have done 15 dramatic readings. We would just call and be like, Oh, let's do a dramatic reading because it was not just a letter. It was a two-paged, single spaced, typed manifesto. Manifesto. Yeah. And she not only sent it to the home anonymously, she sent it to my ex-husband's law office anonymously.

We both get it on the same day. And I am dying. I immediately know who it is because when her kid would come over to swim, he would say, I have to walk on the outside of your house because of the way your laundry soap smells. So I mean, that was a dead giveaway. And I was just like, I fucking love, there's a sick part of me that just loved that she sat down at her computer, riled up, riled up about my cheap clock, wrote a fucking manifesto. Yeah. About laundry,

about laundry, which by the way, my laundry soap is fantastic. But I do, I have read that people have an aversion to patchouli, the smell. Yes. Or they love it. Clearly she was a hater. But in that letter, she told me I was nose blind. And she pointed out like the medical term like olfactory. Yes, she did. Like whatever the term is in the medical dictionary. She deemed herself an educator. Yes. In the letter. It was the most sanctimonious. It was unhinged, brilliant, anonymous letter. And I just will never forgive you that you have lost this letter when you

moved from the city to the suburbs. And I just, that was one thing that when I would go to your house, I'd go pull out the letter. Let's do a dramatic pull it out. So good listener. You know what? I would read it. I would probably read it about every 10th episode. Cause the thing about her letter was it got better each time you read it. She got madder and madder. It was so good. She's so unhinged. She wrote an anonymous letter to somebody about their laundry. So talk about bored, affluent, white woman problems that you were sitting down writing

a letter, sending it to the wife at home and to the husband, two pages, single space. That is a luxury, a luxury to be able to sit down and write a letter like that. And you know what? I think it would be kind of fun to be that unhinged. I would love it. When did we get to be that crazy? I think right now. Welcome to I've had it. Right. All right. I want to read some articles that Kylie and Seth found for us on the World Wide Web that I think are rather interesting. So this one says, it's from a woman, and she says, I walked in on my husband wearing

something unimaginable. I don't know what to do. The situation began to unravel just a few months ago when a 34-year-old noticed her partner engaging in some strange behaviors. Not only was he, quote, pulling away at home, but also spent an increasing amount of time in the bedroom, always locking the door behind him, she says. So today, I went out to the gym as I normally do, but this time I left my phone at home on purpose. I drove all the way there hoping to make him think it was just a normal visit with the timing and then I came back. When I

walked in, the TV was on, playing kids cartoons, and I saw my husband sitting on the floor in an adult pull up with a pacifier in his mouth. At that moment, her husband turned around and looked terrified before he could utter a word. She was out the door. Oh, that's shocking. I mean that because like you walk in on your spouse in a compromising position with another person. I mean that's something you don't expect it. It's still shocking. It's horrible, but you know that it happens. Right. This situation, I just would have no idea how to respond. My fight or flight would pick up and I would flee. Absolutely flee. But what do you do?

So he's got a kink about wearing an adult diaper and a pacifier? Watching cartoons. Watching cartoons? That's pretty fucked up. Here's the situation. You know, he probably wants to poop in his diaper. I think this is probably a poopy diaper situation. Eww.

I didn't even think about that. Why would you wear one unless you're wanting to do shit in it? What's the purpose of it? Like an adult shit. The situation with this is I think I would rather walk in on there being a paramour because I think that if you wanted to resolve your marriage, you could probably find reasons for that and get past that. But the poopy diaper Passy situation, I just don't know if that's salvageable. You know what I mean?

You can forgive an affair. Right. Can you forgive shitting in an adult diaper with your Passy watching cartoons? I don't think you could. I think it's a classic titty baby situation. This is what we've been warning our listener about from the jump. Right. Or the dangers of titty babies. Yeah, that's rough. And this is titty baby literally manifested right here. And we have been calling it much like I've been calling the Stanley Cup situation, but the listener refuses to listen. Yep. I refuse to listen.

All right. Next story up. And by the way, listener, all of these are things that we like to share with ourselves and with you listener, because it makes us feel like we are rock solid. Right. We're less fucked up. Crushing life. Pumps, our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated. It's unparalleled. We are the champions.

If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in Seattle in September or New York City in November for, you know, just some world-class shit talking. That's right. Live. Live and in person. That's right. Live. Live and in person. That's right. Listener, for this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with.

Our listener knows that we're unapologetically ourselves and don't feel like we need to pretend to be anything else. That's probably why y'all listen to our podcast. You stay true to yourselves and have had it with pretending to be someone you're not. That's especially true when you're out there on the dating apps. Pops, what's going on out there on the dating apps? It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps. And what I love about eHarmony is it's real people for real relationships.

You heard her listener. That's why we've partnered with eHarmony because dating on eHarmony is different. eHarmony knows that to find something real, you have to keep it real. You can't be out here trying to be some fantasy Instagram version of yourself. eHarmony is designed to help you bring out your personality on your profile with their unique personality test. They even highlight similarities with your potential matches. And that's when the magic happens when you form genuine connections and authenticity leads to intimacy. Listener, give eHarmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eHarmony, get who gets you.

Pops, summer is winding down and we're all going to have to start shifting our wardrobe from summer to fall. And I always find that one particularly a challenge. But luckily, I've discovered Quince and they offer timeless high quality items that I adore ensuring my wardrobe stays fresh and that I don't blow my budget. What I love about my Quince pieces, I have the tank tops that are silk washable. They come right out of the dryer. Maintenance is minimal and they look like a million bucks.

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slash had it for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's q u i n c e dot com slash had it to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash had it. Okay, the title of this article is My Brother is a Nudist and Wants Me to Attend His Wedding Completely Naked. One bridesmaid found herself in a tricky situation when her nudist brother and his fiancee requested that she attend their wedding without any clothes on. While she respects their choice to be naturist, she's not comfortable with stripping down, particularly in front of people she doesn't know. She expressed her discomfort about walking down the aisle fully unclothed with a groomsman

whom she would have met only minutes prior to the ceremony. She further stated, I am definitely not comfortable standing in front of everyone during the ceremony or being in all photographs when I'm nude. While I don't take issue with their lifestyle, I do take an issue with them being angry that I don't want to attend their wedding. She further detailed that her brother's wedding is set to take place at a naturist resort where nudity is not just encouraged, but required for all guests. I'll tell the world this.

I couldn't do it. That's the biggest bunch of bullshit on the planet. Listener, let me tell you about Pumps. She used to run around her house naked all the time. All the time. You were tramping around naked house naked all the time. All the time. You were tramping around naked as you could possibly be. I entered the door that one time naked and you've just extrapolated. When we've been on girls trips, you start shaking those tits around the room.

They're just, that's gravity. I think you're a nudist and I think I, no, I do. I think you would take those dragons, shimmy down that aisle. No fucking way. I do. No, listener, I do. I think you would take those dragons, shit me down that aisle. No fucking way. I do. No, listener, I do. There is no way I could do that. I mean, there is no way I could do it. For $100,000, would you do it? I'd do it for a million.

$100,000 on it. But I mean, I just think. Okay, let me ask you this. Okay. Would you do it if Trump was guaranteed to lose the presidency? I would walk down that aisle naked with flowers in my hair. Would you shimmy down the aisle? I would shimmy, I would shake. Would you do a twerk?

I would twerk. I sure would. If that's what it took to gross the entire planet out, but to make sure he lost. Yes, I would do it. But just as a general rule of somebody invited me. Okay. Let me, let me ask, let me, let's just role play. Okay. This you're going to dial.

Okay. Let's just say that Josh and I decide, which we never fucking would, but we decided that we were going to renew our vows. Okay. Which I would immediately know you were destined to get divorced. Right. You're renewing your vows. Okay.

Right. But that's neither here nor there. All right. So I call you and I'm like, Pumps, I know that all of this is going to sound crazy. But Josh and I have just, you know, we've had struggles and all this stuff and we've just decided to get one with nature and we're going to renew our vows. And I know this sounds crazy. And I know you're going to call your other friends and say, Jennifer's lost her fucking mind. I don't know what her problem is, but she and Josh are renewing their vows and now they're nudists.

And they've realized the problems they've been having in their marriage previously were the fact that they weren't at one with nature. And so they have stripped of material possessions. She's asked me to be her bridesmaid, maid of honor, matron of honor. I think I'd be a maid because I'm not married, but that didn't matter. All right. So maid of honor. And I say, Pumps, I really need for you to be my maid of honor. I need this from you. You've been through the wringer with me. I know it's not going to be fun, but I've seen you naked. Josh has seen you naked. Half the people in Oklahoma City have

seen you naked. You've been pulling that tit out, hanging that wire hanger on it for decades. This is not new information for eyeballs. I know it's nuts, but I really need for you to do this for me. This is what I need in my life right now. I need to have this naked wedding. And I need for you to be naked standing by me. What do you say? I would say no. That would just make me too uncomfortable. What if I start bawling, crying, snot slinging, and I'm really relentless? No. What if I flip the script on you and you are wanting to stand up there butt naked? Nobody wants to stand up there naked.

Unblock your number? Yeah. I'd block your number. Yeah. I mean, that is just not a normal app. All right, moving along. I found this online, and I think it's genius. There is a new law in Illinois, and it requires family influencers to pay 15% of earnings to the children featured in their content.

I like that. I think that's smart. I wanted to get America's Greatest Legal Mind's opinion on this because you know there's all these mommy bloggers right back there with their kids going five, six, seven, eight, fist pump, hip, knee, you know, which is working these kids over. And these kids are doing all this work and they're schlepping

all these products, but the kids are getting paid for it. So as a family lawyer that specializes in family law and as America's greatest legal mind, what do you think about this? I think it's a great idea. They have really strict child labor laws, especially like in acting, like California, like actors have to have a certain percentage put in a trust for him. I think it's smart. And you would just be shocked at all the people that spend their kids' money. Like they put their kids' college education fund or something, then they get a divorce when they take it.

Well, let's talk about the Duggars. The Duggars are the supreme example. They have kids that didn't get any money. They have like 95 kids and you know, they're, you know, some of the kids are sex offenders and it's just, it's a horrible dysfunctional religious cult family, but he didn't even pay those kids and they were on that reality show. For years. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think it's a good thing.

Okay. Here's a new article. The final frontier for helicopter parents inside the Facebook and WhatsApp groups where moms arrange play dates for their college kids. Coddling college kids through Facebook groups is the latest outrageous dimensions of the helicopter parenting trend. Mothers are choosing to meddle in their children's lives from afar, flocking to college parent Facebook groups to arrange play dates, schedule hair appointments and locate restaurants suited to their child's dietary requirements, essentially acting as remote concierges for their grown children. People will ask, my kid is an X class. Does anyone know what

the curve is going to be? Or has anyone's kid taken calculus? Is it hard? Where should my kid get their haircut? The article went on to reveal that one mom used the platform to seek advice on how her dear daughter should ask her roommate for more refrigerator space. There were also a lot of posts that said something like, my child has no friends, and dozens of parents responding, offering up their own kids for a playdate. Okay, here's the deal. If the mom is on a Facebook group saying my child has no friends,

I think the appropriate response is, it is because of you that this child has no friends. They're 20 years old and you're scheduling a play date. Like that's embarrassing. All of this is fucking bananas. It's insanity. And it's again, I think it sends these kids a message. I don't think you're competent enough to do this. Therefore, I have to do all of these things for you. That's the underbelly of this stuff. Parents feel like, oh, I'm loving all my kids by doing all this stuff for them. But the covert message in all of it is you're incompetent. And it causes these kids to have debilitating anxiety

when they can't. Little things that we do every day make us feel good, no matter how trivial, making your bed. Right. You know, making a to-do list, crossing things off of it, advocating for yourself. And I just think in, you know, teenage years, you start this this trend and I'm just going to say these are going to be these kids, you know where they're going to end up? Sitting watching cartoons in poopy diapers with a pacifier in their mouth. This is mommy issue out the wazoo, titty baby, poopy diaper, passing, wah, divorce city, calling America's greatest legal mind. Yeah, I just think that there's a lot of entitlement built into that.

Like the kid does nothing on their own. Like what's going to happen when they're 30? I think that the more importantly is this profoundly dysfunctional mother. Profoundly. The mother is at fault. I mean, profoundly dysfunctional that, and I don't know where the messaging is gone, but it's like, you know, my son is about to be a senior. Your son just graduated from high school. I have to say all the time in group me's and on group texts, this is a Roman problem, or

I'm teaching my child to have autonomy. I have to say it all the time. And then somebody will go, oh, that's a good idea. And I'm just like, where the fuck are you guys living that you're not realizing that when kids are in high school, we're literally training them to be autonomous. Where is this messaging gone that people are doing everything for their kids that they should start doing for their own? And then how are these kids ever going to have any dopamine, serotonin if they don't do little accomplishments to make them feel better about themselves if mommy does everything for them? Well, I mean, not too long ago, we did an episode where Gen Zers are taking their mommies and daddies to job interviews. Like it just sets them up for massive failure across the board, socially,

employment wise. I would have to think probably physically, like they don't keep, like mommy working on their haircuts and all that. I mean, I just think it's a recipe for disaster. I'm going to, I have kind of a controversial take, but this is just one of these theories. One of these theories. The first one. One of these theories I've had for a very long time. I think that when kids are zero to second or third grade, if you want to stay at home and be a full-time mom, there's a lot that you can do during the day, during those time

periods that can constitute and be the equivalent of a full-time job. It's hard, you got to entertain them, blah, blah. I think once they enter the stage of school where you go from 8 to 3.30, and you've got some mom at home all the time, bored to tears, trying to create things to do, I think it's really dangerous, because I think our brains are meant to be used.

And I think you have this situation where these people still think they're full-time moms, but for 35 hours a week, they don't have jack shit to do. And I think that it is a dangerous situation. And I think that you have to have something outside of being a mother to help you be a better mother. All of this stuff tends to take place with moms that aren't getting fulfillment outside of motherhood. So they put all their eggs in one basket and it's on those kids. And that is a horrible burden to put on those kids. It's a lot of pressure.

And you just have to diversify your interests. You just have to. This notion that when you're a mother, that's just all you are has got to be rectified because you're a mother, you're also somebody else's daughter, potentially somebody's partner slash wife, you're somebody's friend. Is the mother, would that be up there, it's like the top most important? Sure. Yes. But it's not everything.

And you can't be that because your kids are only kids for a finite amount of time. And the end goal towards the end of their childhood has to be adult preparation. It just has to be. It has to be. Otherwise you've got poopy diapers and passies and cartoons and titty babies. It's not good for the mom. It's not good for the kid. You know, and the husband is probably like, just as long as she's off my fucking back.

Right. Better him than me. And I know that a lot of people are going to say, hey, you guys have internalized misogyny by saying that. And that's not the point. My point is for this to help women feel liberated, to have two things at the same time, being a mom and learning how to train your kids to be autonomous and also have something just for you.

Right. So mommy bloggers don't get all this messaging twisted here. I'm actually advocating for women to have more to their lives than just motherhood for them, for their mental health, and for their serenity. Because it's not good when it all chips in on your kid's life, because the kid is going to turn into an adult if you let them. And then you're going to be on WhatsApp making play dates for your college. It's just embarrassing. And no wonder these kids have so much anxiety.

Yeah. I mean, it's just, it's bad. It's not good. I mean, my kids would die. Well, I was on that group meeting for Sam's freshman year. And if I even posted on that, he would go ballistic, ballistic. Like I just asked something. I have a kid in college and I have never had a conversation with any other parent at Syracuse

University or any professors or any staff at Syracuse University because I don't go to school there. Right. Where he does and he's a legal adult. I don't have anything to do with it. It is his. Do I, does he call me? Do we have conversations?

Do I know what's going on? Yes, of course. But it's his deal. It's not mine. I don't, I don't know anything that's going on up there. I genuinely don't. And that's going on up there. I genuinely don't. And that's the way it should be. I think this is a relatively new thing with kind of our age kids and lower because when I went to college and law school, nobody, my mom was

never around. She ever talked to any professor or any other parents? Never. Okay, here's a new article. I refuse to attend my friend's man-free wedding. It's stupid and unfair. One couple has taken a unique approach to cut down on their guest list, banning all males from attending their ceremony, including their dads and brothers. Confused by this, a woman has taken to social media to share how her friend Lisa, 34, and her fiancee Sophie, 35, have decided to have a man-free wedding. She said, I've known both of them for several years and I am, or at least I was until this whole debacle, quite close with Lisa, so I was not surprised that

they've invited me to the wedding. However, on the invitation, it was noted that it is a quote, man free event. Meaning that no men are allowed to be there. Despite not being a man myself, I felt that it was a weird decision on their part. After hearing this, she made up her mind about declining the invite because it's sexist to exclude an entire gender. What would you do? I would say who gives a fuck? If it's their wedding, they want to cut down the guest list. It's none of my business. I go, I have fun. I don't worry about it. I agree. It just wouldn't get me all hot and bothered, especially enough to get on the internet and write about it and do all that. I mean, why do you care? I mean, I think that, I mean, clearly, Lisa and Sophie are lesbians.

And they just wanted to have like a feminine girl power, girl energy type wedding. And I'm all for it. There's all this men's only country clubs and exclusive men's only bullshit. I don't have an issue with it. I don't have an issue with it either. And I think she's kind of got her panties in a wad for no reason. Like pick a battle that is like affects you in some way. Right.

And, and I'm sure that the, the Lisa and Sophie, the brides, you know, to have explained to their fathers and brothers and Yeah, and why does it matter to this girl? I mean, she doesn't have a dog in the fight. I totally agree Yeah, I think that If you want to have a girl only wedding, I'm for it. Now. What if it was a guy's only wedding? I Kind of feel the same way about it. Thank God I could not invite it Great wedding. I kind of feel the same way about it. Thank God I'm not invited. Great. Silver lining. I'm not invited. Great. Yeah. Yeah. I just, although if it was a male only wedding, it would be a gay wedding and that would be a fun wedding. I would be sad to miss that. Yeah. It would probably

be really fabulous. That's true. I would be sad that I wouldn't be with all the gays. Yeah. Now that's true. The gay triates. The gay triates. I would be sad because that would be a wedding I'd want to go to. That'd be fun. It'd be pretty. It'd be all the things. Yeah.

But if somebody said, hey, we're having it, I'd be sad I missed it, but I wouldn't fucking get on the internet and write a manifesto about it. Like who gives a shit? Yeah, Pam, but listen, you've got to have gratitude for this unhinged posting on the internet. No, I do. We don't have content. Right.

And it does give me a giggle. I mean, this shit, the people get their panties in a wad about stuff I just don't get. Yeah. But it is fun. Kylie, would you and Ana have a girls only wedding? I wouldn't. But again, like who I wouldn't give one fuck if someone did. It's their wedding.

It's they have to deal with their dad and brother. That's their problem. Do you know of any lesbians that have done this? I've never heard of that. I don't know. I'm with you all. I don't care if it was girls only. I'd kind of be like, oh, this will be interesting.

Let's go. Boys only? Cool. Send me pictures. Yeah. Sad I'm going to miss the gay wedding. But if it's straight, well, I guess it couldn't be a straight men wedding,

but that would be horrible. Two straight men marrying would be a good wedding. Well, I'm just saying like if there was only straight men and a bride, that would just be horrible. Oh, that would be terrible. Terrible. Yeah. But yeah, I generally don't care and be thrilled that I didn't get invited to the all-male one.

I wouldn't be because I'd want to go to the gay wedding because I'm an ally. Unlike you, I'm an ally. Fuck off like, unlike you, I'm an ally. Fuck off. It's bullshit. What a cunt. Just see you next Tuesday all the time. All right, listen up. We have a new announcement.

We're going on a little mini tour and it is going to be Seattle in September, New York City in November. And it is called the People Suck Tour. And pumps tell them, we will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'll tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with that.