I've Had It - Immediately GFYS

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

Nothing better than our listeners giving us new things to hate.Pre-order our new book, join our Patreon Cult, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast. Thank you to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp: Find comfort this December, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/HADIT today to get 10% off your first month. OSEA: Treat yourself to clean, clinically tested skincare from OSEA. Right now, we have a special discount just for our listeners. Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code HADIT at https://OSEAMalibu.com RoBody: Go to https://RO.CO/HADIT to find out if you’re covered for free. Tushy: Over 2 Million Butts Love TUSHY. Save BIG at https://hellotushy.com/Hadit Chewy: Don’t forget gifts for your pet this holiday season! Take advantage of amazing deals and shop my personal favorites at https://Chewy.com/hadit. Follow Us:  I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay triates, theatriots. All right, listen up. I want to talk to you all about something I've been putting a lot of thought into. I've been thinking about this more than I care to admit. And it's regarding a grievance that pumps had a couple of weeks ago where she

engaged with a man about putting up her Christmas lights. And then in turn, he wanted to have a lot of meetings, a lot of text messages, a lot of phone calls, a lot of followup. He wanted to overcomplicate it. And it's just really been sitting in my craw. And so I've been thinking about what happens when the lights come down. And I have a proposal for you. I say you start playing offense immediately. Okay, I mean, it's just after Thanksgiving, you have the entire month of December.

And I say you start texting this guy and saying, hey, I've been thinking a lot about how we're going to get the lights down. And I want to go over a few scenarios with you. Do you have time to talk? And then you get him on the phone. And no matter what, keep him on. Do not let him land the plane.

Do not let him off the phone. If he's like, well, really, I don't think it's going to be that complicated. I'm just going to come. I'll take him down. I'll roll him up. And I'm saying that might not be that complicated for you, but I'm very particular about the way my lighting is put up. I want to know how you're going to store the clips. I want to know, are you going to roll the cords clockwise? Are you going to roll them counterclockwise? Where are you going to start? What are you going to put them in?

How are we going to prevent them from falling prey to insect attack during the off season? And I think together with our listener, we could make a huge punch list of stuff, and we just flood the zone. We go hard in the paint with this guy. And number one, I think it'd be a lot of fun. And number two, I just am curious if we do a counterattack of psychological warfare, how does he handle it? Okay, just a little update on that. I don't think a counterattack would put him off. I think

he would like it because I texted him like the first day everything was up and I said, hey, my tree lights went off. He's like, I'll be right over. And it's like seven o'clock in the evening. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, they were plugged in, just yak, yak, yak. So I'm telling you, I have now got probably 15 to 20 more man hours in with this guy than I did the last time we spoke about it. So I just think he would like it. I really do. I mean, I think he would camp out in my front yard and be there toe to toe, cannot get enough of it. Do we think he's attracted to you? No, he's like young and cute.

I mean, he's early 20s, attractive. Early 20s with this kind of can-do attitude? OK, I knew you were going to say that, because he does definitely get the Hussle Award. There's no question about it. I mean, I have to give credit where credit's due, like he cares. He cares that the lights are functioning.

No, he does. And what I want out of you is I want you to match that. I want you to match it. When he's talking about where things are plugged in, say, what's his name? Jackson. Jackson. Jackson, do you think that's the best?

Do you think we should use the top receptacle or maybe move it down to the bottom receptacle? What do you think with your experience? I think you need to match that intensity and that can-do attitude, and I think you need to be a can-do customer. Yeah, I mean, here's the deal. I've even said, just go buy new lights, go buy a new timer. Like I don't give a shit. I just don't want to have to talk anymore. But now I'm, you know, all these days into it, I've got an electrician that's

been out to double check. What I think the problem is, is I have a short in the light. So I'm thinking that's where I'm going to focus my energy is in the certain strand of lights that keeps going off and on. So now I think what I need to do is start pelting him every day because he has, he seems to be resistant to just going and buying some more lights. So I think what I need to start doing is start texting him every night. That's what I'm saying. That's what I want. When are you going to replace these lights? When are you going to go buy new lights? You can't go to Home Depot. I'm anti Home Depot, but you can go to Lowe's. Buy new lights,

get them up. How soon can you get them up? So that's where my effort's going to be focused is on this strand that's around the garage that works part-time. I agree with that, but that gets us to how he's going to take them down. Is he going to start from the left of the house or the right of the house? You know, another thing I could do, because you know me, I'm like weird about like, I'm not even putting up any Christmas stuff because we're going to be out of town over Christmas. And it would literally drive me crazy thinking my tree and all that shit was up when I arrived back home because I usually put my stuff down like Christmas day. So I think I should start texting him the day after Christmas.

When are you getting the lights down? When are the lights coming down? How soon can you get my lights down? Why the day after Christmas? Why not do it Christmas night? Okay. I could do that. I could put some energy into that because I have an aversion to the Christmas stuff

after Christmas. I also think you could write him a paper that in your spare time. Like a letter? Yeah. Like I oppose, a lot of people extend Christmas to the new year. I oppose this. I want my lights down no later than sunset on December 26. When the birthday party's over, it's over. I don't believe in belaboring celebrations. And I think that, I think there's a lot that you two could work on together. Yeah. I could tell him I want him take him down left or right.

Let me ask you this. Are you going to use him next year? Have you thought about that? Do you have a relationship with him now? No, but here's my problem. He does have a can do spirit. He's a hustler. He cares. He cares. So I feel like in my I jumping, like, okay, so the guy I used before, I had to chase him

and chase him and chase him. This guy's Johnny on the spot. I mean, there's no question about that. So I think I'm probably gonna use him next year because I think we'll have to have less of a relationship. Like, he will have wrapped him up, he will have labeled him, he will have done all that stuff. So I'm hoping that next year we can have less interaction

So I think I will use him next year because the hustle in the candy spirit So when you get to next year, my question is Do you just say I want you to do the exact same thing you did last year or do you? Play offense and say I'd like to mix it up a little bit I'd like to go all different color lights, all different areas. I'd like it timed to music. I want a musical presentation. I want to play the Nutcracker song and I want my lights to blink and tune to that. That's what I want. Can you put a Santa face on my roof that blinks alternately red green.

I've got something. What? You can say, Jackson, I don't know what your political affiliation is, but I'm one of those woke women. And so I want you to put on my roof, fuck you Trump in Christmas lights. Let's see what he says about that.

Do you have a problem with that? If I were guessing, I'd say probably I mean, just based on all the stereotypical factors. He probably is a Trumper, but I'm going to tell you, he's such an eager beaver. I think he'd write it. I think he'd do it because he really wants to make the customer happy. All right. Well, I've just been thinking about how this guy's been torturing you with all of this. And I thought, you know, why not attack back? I'm afraid he'd like it. That's the thing. I'd still be more tortured.

Yeah. All right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star of the show. She is America's meemaw. I would like to share a story from the news and I relate to this. And the headline is Ohio man forced to cancel credit card to escape gym membership. So this guy, he had to cancel his credit card. So his name is Doug Madison and he just wanted to cancel his gym membership but ended up having to cancel his credit card instead. The 59-year-old could no longer afford the monthly fee.

So a year after he signed up, he went back to the gym's website to terminate it. But it didn't have an option for members to cancel online. So he called the gym and was told he had to come in person. So he went to the gym, but even then he couldn't cancel. He recalls the employees telling him that they didn't quote, have the ability to stop it or do anything on it because only his Jim's parent company was authorized to cancel his membership. In the meantime, he says, while he's trying

to do all this, they're still charging his account. So he had no option but to call the credit card and to cancel his credit card because these Jim's get people in a headlock and something's got to be done about it. Do you know how fucking mad I would be if I had to cancel a card over a gym membership? Because then you have to redo everything else. Here's maybe another thing that you could do. You could just hire Jackson as a full-time employee to handle issues like this, because at some point he's just going to beat them down enough to where they're going to acquiesce and assuage any

concern or issue that he has. And so I think maybe you launch Jackson. Yeah, just like they surrender to the constant barrage. Kathy. Yes. Do you have any reviews on the World Wide Web? I do. I also have an update on this exact topic.

You know, the victory lapse that we get to take because I think we make a difference when we complain about these things. As of October of this year, the FTC is finalizing a new rule called the click to cancel where businesses have to make it easy for consumers to just press cancel online on their subscription. See? Making change everywhere we go. I'm going to credit ourselves to that entire thing. That is long, long overdue.

I'm going to say we did that. And when Stanley Cups are banned nationwide, I solely will take a solitary victory lap. I mean that will just be the sorest winner smugfest anybody's ever seen. You know what we're going to do when that happens? We're going to have Jackson make a float for you and put lights with Christmas lights all over. And you can go down every street in every city in America. And you know what I will do?

I will work full time with Jackson on plans. How many options do we have, Jackson? Let's run through every single one of them. I'm even going to say let's do a rehearsal. Yeah, we'll have rehearsals. Try out different lights. Yeah. Do you want to do LED?

Do you want to do soft? Okay. I would like, oh, do we have a reviews? Try out different lights. Yeah. Do you want to do LED? Do you want to do soft? OK. I would like, oh, do we have a review? I've got two for you. This one is from Jason, and he writes, hello to the bitch that complains and meemaw meat flap. I watch your podcast while I'm at work.

You guys ruin my day at work. I get so into your pods that I get pissed at every single thing that I have also had it with. I get so mad at everything that happens in the world. But you guys do always find a way to make me laugh. I look like a weird fuck laughing at myself in my office. Lots of love from Jason, a Gatriot from the Patriot state of Florida. Ooh, that's rough. A Gatriot in Florida. I feel sorry for the Gatriots and all these red states. I do too. I mean, it's tough times.

Florida sex too. I like how he hates us and thinks we're bitches, but also loves us. Right. That's the most relatable thing. It's so common that you love a lot about a person and also hate a lot about them. Absolutely. Who else? Okay, this one is five stars from Twirly Girl and it's titled Eagle Sighting.

Every episode makes me laugh out loud at least once. I was recently in Japan missing pumps and Jen's shows. I was on a two-hour trip down the Hasegawa River in what can only be described as an oversized canoe. When the guide then pointed skyward and shouted, Eagle, it was all I could do to not stand up, salute, and proudly exclaim, Cacaw! Thanks for coming along on the river ride, Jen and Pumps. Oh my god, I wish to god she would have done that. That is fantastic. How funny is that? She's in Japan and she hears my, kakaa! That is so fantastic. I would have given anything for that eagle. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been

this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up, wouldn't you say, Pumps? I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.

I've had it is sponsored by BetterHelp. Pumps, this holiday season, it can be such a joyous time, but you have to make sure because you're giving, going, blowing, that you pause and take some time out for your mental health. That's why I value very immensely my therapy sessions with my better help therapist. Let's not kid ourselves. Holidays being around families are tough and utilizing my better help therapist helps me be more calm facing this holiday season. Listener, if you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. What we love about it is it's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire

to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash had it today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H e l p dot com slash had it. Listener pumps and I have upgraded our parties to the to she party and I'm telling you guys this is well worth it. And if you want to give the top gift to any family member, something no one ever saw coming, but that they will enjoy every single day of the year, multiple times a day, it's the Tushy Bidet.

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Go to hellotushy.com slash had it now to grab your deal before it's gone. And don't forget to give us a shout out while you're there and let them know that we sent you. Go to hellotushy.com forward slash had it for the best gift this holiday season. All right, now we're going to move along to we have some emails from some listeners and Vicky sent us an email said, Hello, ladies, I've had it with cutesy names for dental practices. Happy, sappy, or crappy teeth. Just give me the dentist's names. Gynecologists don't name their practice vaginas R.S. Urologists don't name their practice better boners.

I wouldn't go to a podiatrist's office called foot fetish. I don't want a dentist who does cute. I've had it. I completely agree. I think cutesy names have gone over the top. Not necessarily just in dentistry. Like everything. Everything has to have a cutesy name. I just like, this is where you come get a hamburger. It doesn't have to be upside down and flat burger. I hate all that shit. All right. Jessica sent us an email and it says,

I'm a preschool assistant and I've been on summer break. You both have been keeping me laughing all summer long. I want to share a habit. My husband and I have different last names. I kept my last name. I didn't feel the need to change my last name just because I was getting married or even having kids. So my kids have his last name and the dogs have mine.

Honestly, the dogs win. My last name is way cooler. Anyway, I've had it with his family never acknowledging my last name. They continue to address me using his last name. We've reminded them so many times that I don't have his last name. We've been married for 16 years. They still ignore this and write his last name when writing my name. How fucking hard is it to just call me by my name? Get over it." I think those people are assholes. I think they're doing it on purpose. I think they're showing a lack of respect for her. What do you think? Yes, I think that there's always this pressure on women to death kneel to the man's world. And it's always the burden is always put on us. Like, you know, you'll see in the comments section of our podcast, quit cussing, quit

cussing. These women cuss, they say goddamn, and there's this burden on us. But if you listen to Joe Rogan or Bill Maher or John Stewart or any of these men, that is not put on them. They can criticize religion, they can cuss, they can talk about politics, and the burden is not put on them to be a particular way. So this is so typical of the sexism that women deal with all of the time. And a lot of it comes from other women. Right. That's what I was just getting ready to say. A lot of it is pressure from other women. Yeah. All right. Alison sent us an email that said, I've had it with people's bandwidth. Nobody even knew what the fuck bandwidth meant until a few years ago.

Now I ask someone if they want to do lunch and they respond with, I'm just not sure I'll have the bandwidth to do anything on Saturday. What the fuck? Just say no. It doesn't make you sound smarter when you say it. In fact, it actually makes me hate you a little. I don't care about your bandwidth. Answer the fucking question. I don't care about your bandwidth. Answer the fucking question. I've had it. Alison, I completely agree. Completely agree.

That was just a poor use of that term. She just didn't want to get a lunch. Fuck her and never ask her out again. I do think after the election, I used this phrase quite a bit. But I think that was an appropriate use. Right. That was an application that was worthy. All right. Nikki sent us an email that said, I've had it with gun toting assholes. Had to share my

recent Google review for my toy store in Edmonds, Washington. A couple came into the store on a busy Saturday full of children and families. They were greeted by an employee and asked them to please let us know if we could help with anything. Then she noticed the man had a gun and a holster on his belt. She politely told the man that firearms are not allowed in our children's store. They gave a look and left. Two days later, we got a one-star review and here it is. I cannot support this business due to their stance on the Second Amendment. It was important to me to support companies that uphold and respect our constitutional rights. Unfortunately, this business does not align with those values, so I will be taking my patronage

elsewhere. Okay, this encapsulates everything I hate about these second amendmenters. Number one, nobody needs to take a gun into a toy store. That's one. Two, if you are so fucking worried about the Constitution, then why do you want to flush it down the toilet and vote for Donald Trump? That's two. And three, I get so tired of people acting like everybody needs a gun and, you know, gun culture and Second Amendment. Let's discuss when the Second Amendment was written, it was muskets that took 30 minutes to fire.

Now, we have automatic assault rifles killing kids in schools and nobody gives a fuck. I've had it, had it, had it. I hate him. I want to take that gun. I want to shove it up his ass. All right. Natalie says, hello. I'm a Had it. I hate him. I want to take that gun. I want to shove it up his ass. All right. Natalie says, Hello, I'm a longtime fan short time listener. I would like to take this opportunity to share my I've had it experience. I have a group of friends that are younger by 10 to 18 years, new neighborhood. So some

of their kids are young about elementary school age. I see them on social media and the mom is posing with her six year old daughter with the caption, we are besties or we're twinsies all the time. Um, no, you ratchet ass bitch. Your elementary school daughter cannot sustain a fucking adult friendship. You cannot talk to her about your marital woes, your stupid husband or whatever bitch has pissed you off. Stop saying stupid ass stuff on social media. I see it all the time. What is this obsession with wanting to be your daughter's best friend? You are her fucking mother.

Her face passed through your vagina. It reeks of desperation. Get your own age appropriate friends and quit using your kid for attention you desperately wanted from your daddy, not fucking pretty. I agree with this. I always know it is a massive, massive red flag when the parent says the child is their

best friend or the child says their parent is their best friend. You know that this is a very boundaryless, enmeshed, toxic situation and that little kid is going to have big, big adult problems. Big. And it also tells me they can't sustain adult friendships. Like if your only friend is your six-year-old, you have some real issues. I mean, I am so grateful that I don't know the minutiae and the ins and outs that go on in my children's social lives. Yeah.

Because it is none of my fucking business. I think it is weird as shit when kids tell their parents a blow by blow of what's going on in their social lives. And I remember in high school, the kids that did this with their moms, their moms were the pettiest, cattiest, meanest women that I ever encountered. And I just, I think you have to let your kids keep a lot of their life that is their own, especially when they're teenagers and young adults,

you just kind of guide as best you can, but to be all up in that shit is just weird. I always think they probably were not successful at building relationships as a young person and now they see this as their chance to like redo their high school experience. You know what I mean? It's kind of like the sports parents that because they weren't super successful in sports, they want their kid to be the next LeBron James. And if somebody wasn't, you know,

had a good group of friends, now they want to be in the middle of their son or daughter's group of friends. It's always the most desperate, obnoxious, least attractive people. Well, and I think it's a signifier of a very broken relationship between parent and child. Well, very broken adult for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and when the kid is valuing the friendship with the parent over their peers,

like Roman loves me, but they're apples and oranges. Like, I feel the mom category, and that is it with Dylan and Roman. I don't feel the friend socializing. And I don't want to know what all goes on in their social life. They need to keep that with their peers. I think it's really weird. All right. Andrea says, you know what I've had it with? "'The term buttery soft. "'Please, butter is not soft. "'It is greasy.

"'It is slimey and it belongs on toast and popcorn. "'I don't want my legging shirts, towels, or whatever "'the fuck else to feel like greasy slime touching my body. "'It is the Stanley Cup of descriptive phrases "'and should be banned. "'I love you guys.'" Andrea, just because you made the parallel with buttery soft to Stanley Caps, I'm your ally and I am here to fight

buttery soft as a descriptive adjective towards fabrics. I never thought about that until she just said that. That kind of makes sense. This holiday season, I've decided I'm going to indulge in hydration for my body. That's why I love Osea Malibu products. Their Undaria Algae Body Butter makes my skin feel so soft, so indulgent, so luxurious. I cannot recommend it enough. It's also a great gift. What I like about it is it smells great and it's not oily. It's completely

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And this time of year, Chewy's auto ship feature is the real stress reducing hero. Because you can't forget about your daily and weekly food. So I've set up the recurring shipments of all the essentials that we use, and they show up at my door in one to two days. I'm never running out, and I can change or cancel my auto ship order at any time. Listener, don't forget gifts for your pets this holiday season. Take advantage of amazing deals and shop my personal favorites at Chewy.com slash had it. That's Chewy.com slash had it. Chewy.com slash had it. All right Lisa says, I've recently discovered this podcast and I fucking love it. Welcome Lisa. Here's what I've

had it with. Dog people I've had it with them. You can't have fireworks because their dogs have anxiety. Mother Nature can't have a thunderstorm because the dog is scared and dog people assume it's okay to come to my house and bring your dog to my house because your dog is so on a pedestal that you assume the dogs are welcome. I have cats and my cats hate dogs and I have to place my cats in a room away from the dog because your dog somehow is more important than my fucking cats. I've had it with dog people. And to that Lisa, say welcome and fuck you back. Here's the deal. I agree with her. I'm a huge dog person. I would not take my dog to somebody's house.

Oh, I would. You would. I mean, like to my house, yes, but you wouldn't like roll up to Liz's with your dog. I have. I see. I think Liz's with your dog. I have. I see. I think that's rude. Yeah. All right.

Alex says, Hey, Pumper's Miss Jennifer Lemon. Oh, thank you. My husband, Don and Kylie. Can we please discuss how annoying people are who do not like cilantro? Listen, these people are in a fucking cult. Why is it that whenever cilantro comes up in a conversation or situation, there's always someone that will say, oh, I don't like cilantro. I have that gene that makes it taste like soap. Excuse me? First and foremost,

nobody gives a fuck. Secondly, what is the gene? Can you name it? Were you diagnosed by a medical professional like it's some sort of condition? Why have I had this same conversation consistently every time the word cilantro is even mentioned? Nobody gives a fuck. I've had it. A loyal, gaytriot Alex. See, there was an article or some study that came out a few years ago that was either

you like cilantro or you don't. And I remember after that everybody started talking about whether or not they like cilantro. But I'm with Gaytriot. Who gives a fuck? Don't eat it. If you don't like it, don't eat it. We don't have to make a production out of it. Yeah, I just get so tired of when somebody doesn't like something, it becoming this huge topic. For example, Josh Welch hates blue cheese. He hates it. If there is a cheese that is blue cheese adjacent and has just a slight hint of a blue cheese taste, he freaks out, calls the waiter over. We're sending stuff back. It's stage

five meltdown. It's just, I can't take it. I mean, it's just the food preferences that people have. I'm able to go sit down pretty much 98% of the time and just eat what's served. And if I don't like it, I just kind of smash it around on my plate a little bit. I'll even do ever do this. I'll even like scrape it to where it looks like I ate more. Yes, I've done that before. If I was at somebody's house or something. Yeah, if it wasn't good, I'll just scrape it over. And it just to avoid anything about talking about it. So when people like die on a hill about cilantro or blue

cheese or mayonnaise and we have to go on and on about it and belabor it, in general terms, shut the fuck up. I agree. I've had it with that. Okay, Adam Michael says, when you've pushed the elevator button and seconds later someone comes up behind you and pushes it again. As if to say I didn't press it good enough and now the elevator is coming I will break your finger back up Dale. I have to say I agree with this but I also do it. I was gonna say you're guilty of that. I agree and I do it. Yeah. Because I've been the first pusher and then

some asshole will come up from behind me and do a double push. And I think you fucking dick. I just pushed it. It's illuminated. Right. But if somebody else says it, then I go up and go, oh, oh yeah, it's already pushed. Yeah. I'm kind of the same way. It's just one of those things. All right. Ryan says long time lurker, first time bitching. I'm in college as an early 40 something and I've had it with this plague of create an account nonsense. For certain important things like utilities, credit cards, other bills, and my student portal, I understand it.

But I currently have five different logons to five different websites to access e-text textbooks for classes. But then there's this horseshit on regular websites of create an account for.0005% off your purchase. Go fuck yourself, Linda. I just want to buy your goddamn shoes. Stay up to date with your newsletter, create an account so you never miss anything. No, I'm just buying sponges.

I don't need some sponge-related newsletters every other fucking day. Then there are the ones that treat their website like an exclusive club, and you have to create an account to even browse. It's gotten so bad that if a website doesn't have a quote, check out as a guest, it's an immediate go fuck yourself. Nothing has made in-person shopping more attractive than having to create one more goddamn account. P.S. I love the show. Ryan, I agree with this.

100%. And I am so adverse to joining these clubs that whether it's on a website or if I'm at a store and they say, what is your email? And they want my email information to check out. I have just refused to give it. I said, I don't wish to give out that information. Well, what is your cell phone number? I don't wish to give out that information. Well, we keep everything here in case you need to do a return? I don't want to do any of it. And then at the end, do you want to join the club? And it gets even worse than just the checkout. The other day I was on a website trying to buy something. You're on and you're just starting to scroll down and you're honing in on maybe this hoodie that you like, right? Then all of a sudden the pop-up comes. Join

our club, 15% off. And then you exit out and it's like, are you sure? And it's like, right? Then all of a sudden the pop-up comes. Join our club, 15% off, and then you exit out. And it's like, are you sure? And it's like, no, I'm fucking sure. Right. If I join the club, I want it to be my idea, not your idea. I don't want to be bribed into joining the club with some discount. I don't want any part of any of it. And so I think that there needs to be some business leadership and all these advertising executives that say, I've got it. Let's brand as we don't want your email. We don't want you to join a club. Come here, one click, get the fuck out of our lives. I would shop exclusively there. That's a huge branding opportunity because I get so sick of it.

And have you ever been on those sites that it's in your cart, you're doing it, you're getting ready to pay and they say, do you want the newsletter, whatever, and you leave it blank and it won't let you buy it until you click you want the newsletter? Have you had one of those? Yes, but I've also had where I put something in a cart and then I've abandoned the cart, right? Because I've decided I don't want it. I'm like, well, what if this company has one that's even better than this one? And then I get an email and I haven't entered my email that says, you left your cart. Would you still like to continue shopping? And I just think this is a lot of nerve.

I want to abandon my make-believe shopping cart. Let me do it in privacy. Let me leave that debris on the internet. You don't need to come do a follow up with me about my cart. That really pissed me off. Yeah, I've never even heard of that. Okay. Jen sent us an email that says, Hi friends, I've had it with finding pee on women's public

toilet seats. You do not have to hover Janice, even though your meme all told you that you might get the clap from sitting on a public toilet seat. That's not how she contracted it. I promise. It's okay to sit your ass down and pee and don't forget to wash your goddamn hands. Love you all. A true gay trick. All right, Jen, here's what I'm going to tell you. I'm a hover, but I'm a wiper. I hover

and then I take toilet paper and I leave the toilet in the manner and the fashion that I would like to receive it. Yeah, I always just plop down. I mean, I wipe it first, but I always just plop down. I don't worry about it. But I hate if I'm like in a super hurry or have to be really bad. And I don't have an opportunity to wipe like it's usually at like a game or a concert or something where it's packed bathroom and you're just going in and out super fast. And you plop down on somebody's urine. It's fucking gross. Everybody should wipe after they have her. Diana says, Hello, ladies, I'm writing to tell you about a recent and ongoing I've had it experience. First, let me say I am not a man hater. My best friend is my husband and he's

a man. I grew up with all brothers whom I love and respect. What I do not understand and what I've had it with is men in yoga class who think it's okay to show up late, crowd into any space they like, and then pass gas audibly throughout the class. I've practiced yoga for decades. Women don't behave this way. Women are mindful and considerate. I'm sick of smelling men's asses in hot yoga class and I've had it. Thank you for the opportunity to vent. Namaste. I have never heard of such a thing. Audibly passing gas more than once.

Like if I audibly pass gas in yoga, I would run out and you would never see my face there again as long as I live. That's bad. Yeah. That's just, I mean... Especially hot. She again as long as I live. I mean, that's bad. Yeah. That's just, I mean, Especially hot. She's been doing it for decades. The women don't do this.

The men do this. And I just, you know, I'm not a man hater either, but there are just certain things that women in general take a little bit more care to, right? That men don't. And I would think probably farting and exercise class might be one of them. Right. I would hope. Okay. Natalie sent us an email and she said, I've had it with every time I go anywhere, I got to fill out a goddamn survey about my experience. Take my kid to the doctor, fill out the survey, bought a candle at doctor, fill out the survey. Bought

a candle at anthropology, fill out the survey. Went to the pumpkin patch, radar service. No, absolutely not. Bloody hell why? Every fucking place, I got to tell them what I think. I'm not getting paid. There's no coupon attached to filling out this 10 minute long survey. Get bent. Yeah, no, I hate that shit. It is so frustrating because recently I got one of these surveys and I just deleted it and immediately sent it to my junk folder, my email box. Two days later, we're still waiting on your survey results. No, they shamed you? Yes. And I immediately just deleted it again. And I just, why does everybody want so much

out of us? Right. Why do they even care? Why do you want us to join the club? Why do you want us to fill out a survey? Why does your light guy want to have 95,000 meetings? Why do people want so much out of us? I don't know. I mean, I think it's a great point. Like isn't it enough just to give somebody your business? Why do you then have to survey them, get them to join your make-believe club, terrorize their email box by sending them newsletters that nobody gives a shit about?

And who are the animals that enjoy this shit? Being in the club, receiving the newsletter. I know you like a survey. I like a political survey. But my question is, isn't the Yelp review or the customer reviews online, why isn't that an F? Why do we have to do direct access? Why can't we just allow the people that want to do it, the other people, leave them alone?

I don't know why people want so much out of being a customer. Why can't you just be a customer? Pay and then that be the end of it. Right. That's the end of the relationship. We don't need to belabor it. Just transactional. Yeah. And then it's over. Don't feign that you care about continuing this relationship by terrorizing our email

inboxes and sending us surveys. We know you don't give a shit. And you're not gonna change what you're doing. Everybody knows that it's all for the grift. Yep. All right. Let's do the last one here. Carrie says, I fucking had it with the Instagram parents posting photos of their babies next to fucking pumpkins. I dread the fall. I'm British. Where the idea of posting next to a vegetable is laughable. I just do not understand the pumpkin patch. You are choosing a fucking vegetable? Do it at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. How is that fun? I have to stay off of social media until the season passes because I lose all respect for my friends

when they post the fucking pictures. Here's my child with a vegetable. I've had it. You know what? I've been looking for new stuff to be pissed off about. I like it. I join you, Carrie. This is right in my will house.

I agree. Quit photographing your children with vegetables. Carrie, this is right in my will house. I agree. Quit photographing your children with vegetables. I just fucking love her. Yeah, I think that's excellent. All right. Well, I think that is all that we have time for today. And I'd like to thank all of our emailers for sending us some great new inspiration.

Right. Because- Hatespiration. Hatespiration. I like that phrase. Yes, because we need more things to be irritated with as we navigate the next four years, as we navigate the internet. And we need more grievances to stick into our handy dandy

filing system, which all of our Gen Z and millennial listeners make fun of us for having. But we don't care. We don't care. We like it. All right, listen, we don't have any shows coming up, but we do have a Blue Sky account at YouTube channel. So join us in all of those places, pumps, tell them. We will see you nextriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape

of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever, you can get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Cacaw! Little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it, that's, that's, Cacaw! That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.