I've Had It - Leader of Stupid People

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

Pumps lets slip her reversion back to Karenism and Jen holds a much needed intervention. Pre-order our new book, join our Patreon Cult, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast. Thank you to our sponsors: Apostrophe: Get your first visit for only five dollars at https://Apostrophe.com/HADIT when you use our code: HADIT. That’s a savings of fifteen dollars! This code is only available to our listeners. Bombas: Head over to https://Bombas.com/hadit and use code hadit for 20% off your first purchase. Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://shopify.com/hadit. Homes.com: When it comes to finding a home - not just a house - we have everything you need to know, all in one place. https://homes.com. We’ve done your home work. eHarmony: Get started with their compatibility quiz, so you can find someone you can be yourself with. Download the app and get who gets you on eharmony. Progressive: Visit https://Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. Follow Us:  I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay triots, they triots. Oh my God. 2025. We're ready. We are ready to rock and roll into it. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay. What I've had it with is when you are at a restaurant and the diners at the table seated next to you act like you're one big party and start talking to you. I was just in a restaurant. These people next to us were explaining the menu to us unsolicited. They just start talking and I am just like, shut the fuck up. Why are you talking to me?

We are not here together. We don't know each other. I don't want you to be at my dinner. The tables were pretty close. Having closed tables is not an invitation for you to invite yourself to my dinner, nor am I going to invite myself to your dinner. Stay in your lane, stay at your table, stay out of my conversation, had it.

I completely agree. I, you know, as everybody knows, I'm trying to talk to people less. And so when these type of things happen, then I think maybe I need to go full blown agoraphobic and just not leave the house. Agree. I've told my kids that recently. I'm going to start telling people that I'm agoraphobic and just not leave the house. Agree, I've told my kids that recently. I'm going to start telling people that I'm agoraphobic. That will save me from so many opportunities to go out and be social. You know what my kids say?

Everybody already thinks you are agoraphobic. You are agoraphobic. I am, I just wanna be with my dog. I don't like people as much as I like my dog. A lot of our listeners know you've been out of town and I kept your dog. Which is the sweetest kind of thing anyone could ever do for me. I have a few things I need to tell you. Okay. First of all, Oliver Glizzard is homosexual. I'm so happy because his collar's rainbow. So how I know this is he is I took him to the cemetery

with my dogs to run him about three different times a day because he's a puppy. He needs a lot of exercise. I know that at your house, you know, it's full blown dark in the middle of the day. Everybody lounges 10 hours at a time. So this dog had a lot of pent up energy that needed to be run. So I run into my sister's second ex-husband at the cemetery, and he's running his dog

a lab named Woody. Woody's for sure homosexual. He's always trying to have sex with my dog Tebby. Tebby is not that interested in the homosexual sex. I think he's more asexual. Yeah, I was gonna say, I think he's asexual. Oliver Glizzard, your dog was all in. All in. He loved it. So Woody, Giant Lab, would mount little French Bulldog,

Puppy, and there was a lot of gyrating and things going on. And Glizz just seemed to absolutely love it. Glizzy, you have a gay dog and he is so proud. He is out. He is happy in his sexuality. It was fantastic. It makes me so happy he can be who he wants to be. And you know, I have a gay Siberian husky too. It's interesting to me that both my dogs are gay. But I feel like I'm a really good gay mom. I do too. I feel like that I'm open, I encourage it, I want it for them if that's what they want. I'm super proud of them. And I absolutely love that he found

a lab that he likes. He did. He did. All right, let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with, it's very similar to your grievance. So over the Christmas break, Josh and Dylan and Roman and I went to an Oklahoma City Thunder game. And we all love basketball, going to NBA games, so fun. So there's a guy sitting right behind us. And he shows up a few minutes late, so it's after tip-off, and he begins to tell his friends sitting next to him the story about almost getting scammed. And it's similar to the story that you had where the Oklahoma County Sheriff office calls. So he's telling his friends about his close call with getting scammed. The problem is he's screaming at the top of his lungs and the story goes on and on and on in precise detail and then I said this and then he said this and then I was like, oh my God. And I was like, oh shit, I'm going to get arrested. He's screaming fever pitch at the top of his lungs.

Josh, Dylan, Roman and myself were all just like, Jesus Christ, buddy, shut the fuck up. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Maybe talk to your friends about this before the game, maybe after the game, And the fuck up. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Maybe talk to your friends about this before the game, maybe after the game. Maybe lower your voice a few octaves. I don't know if you want everybody in the Paycom arena to hear this story, but the majority of us came here to watch the basketball game.

And we can't watch it with any form of pleasure because you're so obnoxious, so loud and so proud that you have a juicy story to tell your friends. And it was just miserable. And then after that, he continued at the same octave and it got so bad that Josh finally goes, how big is that guy? Turn around and look at him. Because you think if I just clocked him, you think he could beat me up. And I'm like, we're not going to, you know, clock the guy.

Of course, Josh, you know, it's all talk, no action. But it was, it was that bad. It was awful. I hate this guy. I want everybody in the Oklahoma City area to know. I think this is section 106. I was in row A, he would have been in row B. You loud mouth, yak mouth. The basketball games are not about you. We're there to watch these elite athletes dribble the ball, shoot

the ball, pass the ball, do all the cool swaggy stuff that NBA basketball players do. I didn't want to hear about your lame ass almost getting scammed. It was so awful. I really dislike this guy. I think he should be banned from the arena and from all NBA games moving forward. Henceforth. I do. I think it should be a permanent ban. Here's the thing about that. A couple questions. So did his friends seem to be enjoying his story during that period of time? Because I'm with you. If you pay money to go see a professional basketball game,

which are limited, there's not one every single day or twice a day. And this guy comes in number one late and tells a story and monopolizes the whole section around him. Get the fuck out. Nobody's here for you and your stupid story. So did his friends act like he was obnoxious? Were they trying to kind of ignore him and watch the game? So here's what I noticed. If his voice, quiet inside voice, being a one, and screaming at the top of his lungs, a nuclear

war is about to happen, everybody take cover as a 10. This guy was a 14. So as he's screaming at the top of his lungs about barely dodging this scam, that scam caller, I noticed he's at a 14 and I noticed his friends responded around a two or three. And then he would go on and elaborate. And I kept just turning around and kind of looking at him like, dude, shut the fuck up. Maybe go to the bar in the arena and then tell your friends all of this there.

Why are you ruining this for everybody? Why are you making this all about you? So the friends engaged with him, but I could tell that they didn't match the intensity of his loudness. I think what we have in this situation is a grandstander and a showboater. Probably nothing cool has happened to him

in at least a decade. And him almost getting scammed by these scammers that almost scammed you and him cracking the case was just fantastic for him. And he wanted everybody in the Oklahoma City area to be abundantly aware that he almost got scammed and then he cracked the case and then he diverted getting scammed and he wanted everybody to know. And I want everybody in the Oklahoma City area and at large internationally to know that I feel dumber, angrier, and have less serenity for having sat in front of this motherfucker for that NBA game.

It was awful. I hate him. I hate his voice. It is, I imagine if I believed in an afterlife, if you end up in hell, that man would be the greeter at the gates of hell. He would greet you. He would be next to you. Screaming. And he wouldn't even need a bullhorn because he's that loud. Welcome to hell, motherfuckers. I can just see him. Scams this way. Yeah. You know what's so funny about all that? If he only knew that I almost got scammed by that same scam and it was so infantile and poorly executed by the scammer that even I cracked the case. So really there's nothing for him to be bragging about, that he averted it. Let me tell you the one thing that I was able to get gratitude during this horrible, at

least 20 minutes of him telling the story while I'm trying to watch this basketball game. The only thing that brought me solace is saying to myself, thank fucking God, Pumps is not here. Because she would whiplash around at the top of her lungs and say, oh my God, the same thing happened to me. Because you have one volume and that is loud. Extra loud. And I just thought the best thing that's happened to me today is that Pumps is not at this basketball game with me, although I love her, although she's my soulmate, I would give her a kidney. I'm so fucking glad that that yak mouth is not with this yak mouth because the entire basketball game would be about these scams, they would be best friends, and I would hate, hate both of them so much.

I don't know that I could recover. It was the best thing that happened to you that I wasn't there and the worst thing that happened to you that he was there. But you know what? You're 110% right. Had I been there, whiplash to get around and we could compare notes at the highest volume level in recorded history. Yeah. That was the one little glass of lemonade I was able to squeeze out of this horrific situation. And I have to say, you know, arenas are loud and you anticipate that what you don't anticipate is somebody who's off script. Right. Him getting scammed has nothing to do

with the Oklahoma City Thunder and their amazing season that they're having. It has nothing to do with Oklahoma City Thunder and their amazing season that they're having. It has nothing to do with that. If I wanted to listen to that bullshit, I'd come here and record this podcast with you. Right? You would not hold an arena hostage. Right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star of the show. She's fresh back from Europe. And let me tell two little quick stories. One walking through the Chicago airport. The very, very first thing I see as I'm walking and you know, I've been completely devoid

of MAGA for a week. Happy. I walked by and there's a guy watching Steve Bannon's podcast on his iPad. It was like the first thing I laid my eyes on was someone sitting where I was walking off the plane watching that and I just thought, how in the fuck are people this fucking pathetic? This guy is a criminal. He just, I couldn't believe it was the first thing I saw. It was

like, hey, you're back in the USA. I'm going to ram Magga straight up your ass no loop immediately. Just fucking here you are, bend over, take it. So that was just like, okay, you're fucking back, bitch. The war room is on. So then as I'm getting off the 15th hour of a flight, of course my darling children, one of them forgot the overhead check back, or what do you call it, the carry-on bag. So we're walking and I'm like, hey, where's the blue bag? Nobody has it. So I have my ear pods in.

I turn around, I walk back on the plane, I'm getting the thing. You would have thought that I had an AK 47 and was mowing down people on the plane. I mean, there was a guy chasing me acting like a fucking nut because I got back on the plane. Well, I had my ear, but things in, so I didn't hear it. So he's like, I turned around and he's like this far from my face. He's like, you got me on the, I mean, he's like full blown flop, sweating, panic attack. Okay. And I'm just like, I just got off the plane. I left my bag. It's I'm fine. So he gets off the plane. He starts on and on and on about how once you get off the plane, you can't get back on the plane. He's like lecturing me.

At this point, I am beyond tired and irritable. And all I can hear him say over my music is you had your earbuds on. So I immediately go into full blown sassy Karen mode. And I'm like, oh, so you can't wear earbuds on a plane? I didn't know that. He's like, no, but I mean, I was trying to talk to you, but your earbuds, I go, so I just kept going. So you're saying it's illegal to have

earbuds on a plane. No, so could I've walked back on the plane if I didn't have my earbuds in? He got so exasperated and so, I mean, he was just He got so exasperated and so, I mean, he was just so upset and I was so pleased with myself that I got him into a complete tizzy over my back. And my oldest son was standing there and he was like, as we're walking back, I get the bag, he looks at me and goes, you are such a sassy Karen bitch. I cannot believe the way you acted.

It's like, really? You can't believe it? Because I would think it was pretty believable. I mean, I just took that motherfucker around the corner 15 times over the air beds and acted like I never got what he was trying to say. I fucking loved it. I have to say, there's a cringy level of entitlement that when you're telling me that story that

I kind of cringed for you. Why? Because you can't, when you have to enter back onto a plane, it's just known that you would stop and say, hey, I left my bag, can I get back on here? You can't just plow back onto an airplane and then to not have your volume turned down so you can communicate with them seems disrespectful to the people that work on the plane. And I am kind of that, I've left something on a plane before and I say, hey, I left something on the plane. Can I get it? And they're like, wait, please wait right here. There's like a

procedure for it. And you just entitled walking right back on and not having your volume turned down so that you could communicate with them about what you're doing. I kind of give you a little demerit for that. You think I'm the minus? Reeks of entitlement and lack of self-awareness in my opinion. There's no question it was lack of self-awareness. And what I should have done when he got onto me was say, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I had no idea that was the rules. But I was just tired and cranky enough to be a

complete cunt about it. And I liked it. I liked it a little bit that he got so upset because I just wouldn't go around the turnstile with him. Yeah, I feel bad for these people that work in in these situations that have to deal with people that lack self-awareness and have just breathtaking amounts of entitlement. And I had all of them and I loved it though. I did, I loved it. This is not good for white women Angie. I'll tell you what, what we have right here is white women determined in a large part

the state of this election. So you think about that long and hard. Do I want to be in that boat? You think about that long and hard on inauguration day. You think about the way you treated that person that was just doing the job and he's screaming and you don't have the decency to turn your ear pods down. I'm team airlines.

I'm team him. I've been with you when you've acted this entitled before. I don't like it. It's not attractive, it's not becoming. Oh my gosh, I just remembered something. So I was putting my bra on after the 10 hour flight and I had my bra off. I took it off and I thought, I'm gonna put my bra on.

I thought, oh, I can just put it on in my seat. That's easy. I've got a double, I've got a shirt and a sweatshirt on. This will be no problem. Did you flash everybody? Fucking flashed. I knew it. Everybody.

Yeah. I mean I had to like put my arms back in and go to the bathroom because it was so bad. I mean I looked down and my entire boobs are out. Yeah. Thankfully for all the other passengers, nobody saw it but me. But no, it was bad. It was like why did you think you could put your bra on in your seat? Because you just flashed an entire plane. I just think that this is a, there's a problem in this country with white women and I've

been talking to you for a very long time about your flirtation with Karen Inman and I thought we made progress and here we are in 2025 and you're treating the guy that works at all places at the fucking airport with all of the terrible people that you described yourself as you walk back in that guy sitting there watching the war room with Steve Bannon and you have your volume up all the way as high as you can and just parade back on the plane without asking if you can going against traffic. He's probably screaming and I can understand that his heart rate was probably so high, like ma'am stop, ma'am stop, and you're just ignoring, ignoring, ignoring because you didn't

have the decency. This is a relapse of epic proportions after all of the progress we made as a community, as patriots, gayatriots, theatriots. And so I just, on inauguration day, just think about the role white women played in that. And then I want you to think about the way you treated that man and how proud of yourself that you are. Right, how much I liked it.

And you think if you're a part of the problem or a part of the solution. Okay, I will. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pull together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.

And all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. It is January. It is freezing outside. And the one thing I look forward to after I get out of the shower when my feet are so cold is slipping them into Bamba's socks. I remember Bamba's long socks when they first came out. They were amazing. Then the short little footy socks. Now the slippers. It is everything you could ever want for your feet. But listener, it doesn't matter which Bombas you get because every Bomba's item gives back. For every item you purchase, Bombas will donate another item to

someone facing homelessness. Really, they've donated over 150 million items thanks to purchasers like you. And Bombas makes returns and exchanges easy. And if for some reason you're not a fan of the Bombas and you don't like them, don't worry because they have a 100% happiness guarantee that covers free exchanges and returns too. Although we seriously doubt you would not love these socks. So try Bombas now. Head over to bombas.com slash had it and use code had it for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B A S dot com slash had it code had it at checkout. Pumps, there is nothing more devastating than having a huge pimple breakout, especially right before a huge event.

Um, you know, you have a scheduled photo shoot before we come in here and film this podcast. I could just die when I have a huge zit breakout. Let me tell you what just happened to me. I go on vacation. The first day I have a zit the size of Mount Olympus on my face. It was so terrible. I did not know what to do.

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to thank Apostrophe for sponsoring this episode. Listener, for this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Our listener knows that we're unapologetically ourselves and don't feel like we need to pretend to be anything else. That's probably why y'all listen to our podcast. You stay true to yourselves and have had it with pretending to be someone you're not. That's especially true when you're out there on the dating apps. Pumps, what's going on out there on the dating apps? It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating

apps. And what I love about eHarmony is it's real people for real relationships. You heard her, listener. That's why we've partnered with eHarmony because dating on eHarmony is different. eHarmony knows that to find something real, you have to keep it real. You can't be out here trying to be some fantasy Instagram version of yourself. eHarmony is designed to help you bring out your personality on your profile with their unique personality test. They even highlight similarities with your potential matches. And that's when the magic happens when you form genuine connections and authenticity leads to intimacy. Listener, give eHarmony a shot and get started with

their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eHarmony, get who gets you. Kathy, do we have any reviews in 2025? We do. This one actually pumps, let's add more like food for thought for your behavior. Oh gosh, here we go. Three stars, titled Do Better Miss Esquire. I am withholding two stars from this review upon my learning that pumps likes to text and drive. This is huge mega energy. It is. It would feel wrong to award that type of to text and drive. This is huge MAGA energy.

It is. It would feel wrong to award that type of behavior, do better. I can play MAGA energy. See that review alone right there, like my kids give me shit about it. You give me shit about, everybody gives me shit about the texting and driving.

And I'm just like, wah, wah, wah. But saying it's MAGA energy, like I'm gonna do better. Thank you. What you did on that airplane is MAGA energy. See, it is Angie, it is white privilege entitlement. It is, it is a larger issue when you see all these videos of Karens losing their shit. They look like you, they sound like you, they're treating people like shit and they like it. I like the cruelty of it.

There might be something to it. I mean, I'm just telling you. We could hopefully blame it on me being tired and not playing. It's, well, it's gotta do better. But boy, that review hit time. Who was that review? That was from Georgie.

Georgie nailed it. Thank you for just, Georgie just put it in a frame. She just put it in a frame for me. Just laser focused. All right, let's move on to some news stories that I found interesting. A study came out and it says that men reach full emotional maturity at 43 and women do at 32. I can believe that. Yeah. I mean I am not surprised at all that

men are in their 40s before they hit emotional maturity. I think that makes sense. I think it makes perfect sense. I'm surprised women aren't earlier than 32. I think 32 is probably about right. Yeah. I mean think about what idiots we were in our 20s. You think you're big. You think you're smart. You think you're so cool, but you're operating on narcissism, hubris, all the stuff. And then real life hits you in your 30s.

That's absolutely right. I mean, the 30s for me were the hardest decade, but far and away. Oh, for sure. When you had to put your big girl panties on and face the day. In a kind of related story. In 1993, a man caused a massive flood of 14,000 acres, just to stop his wife from coming home so he could keep partying. What? so he could keep partying. What? Yes. In 1993, James Scott reportedly tampered with the levies along the Mississippi River in Missouri, contributing to devastating flooding during

what became known as the Great Flood of 1993. He later confessed to breaking the levies, not for profit or malice, but rather to delay his wife's return home so he could continue partying. The resulting flood was catastrophic, impacting thousands of homes and businesses. Scott was convicted of intentionally causing a disaster and received a life sentence, though he has maintained his innocence. How do you maintain your innocence after you admit it? I don't know, counselor.

Why would you say that you did it to continue partying? I thought the punchline was going to be because you didn't want his wife to catch him with his girlfriend. Just the straight partying aspect kind of threw me for a loop. Yeah. OK, here's one more story.

Approximately 130 million American adults have low literacy skills. This represents 54% of U.S. adults aged 16 to 74 who read below a sixth grade level. The Gallup analysis of data from the U.S. Department of Education found that approximately 130 million American adults have low literacy skills. This low literacy rate has significant consequences for individuals and society as a whole. Individuals with low literacy skills may face economic disadvantage, limited employment opportunities, and difficulty accessing health care information. I would like to add my own analysis to this, and it could also cause damage to the country

as a whole by electing a man who himself reads at a fifth grade level, I believe. Yes, I agree. That's the first thing I thought of. I know that that is true based on the hate comments we read from the right wing that cannot spell, do not understand contractions, don't know the difference between T-O and T-O-O. I mean, that shocks me zero.

You know what my favorite is? They get in the comment section, they want to call us losers, but they spell it losers. Right. L-O-O. Yeah, two O's. L-O-O-S-E-R-S. And that's my favorite.

Like, you two hags are such losers. OK. All right. And I mean, I'm old enough to remember when Donald Trump said he loved the poorly educated because they liked him. And now you've got, you know, the fucking wrestling queen going to be the Department of Education head. So that's nothing but a disaster waiting to happen.

So that number is probably going to get higher. I would like to thank you for reminding me and our listener that you are in fact old. You just had it all teed up. Okay, Kylie, what do we have in store for our listener today? We've got some great voice memos and up first,'re gonna listen to Abby. Hi guys I'm a huge fan of the podcast and I just need you guys to know that I look forward to every single notification I get on YouTube from your channel but now to get into what I've had it with you You guys, I have fucking had it with Christmas proposals. Everyone does it.

It is December 26th as I am saying this and I saw like eight different Christmas proposals posted on Facebook yesterday and it's always captioned the same thing and it's always like, it's the best gift I could have asked for. Or like Santa brought me exactly what I wanted this year. And I just, I can't take it.

You guys you're ruining Christmas. Propose on another day. You are fucking ruining it for everyone because now we all feel like we have to celebrate you and not each other on Christmas. And you know what? I'm talking this up to it being Donald Trump's fault. Um, what is he going to do to stop this national crisis of Christmas proposals? I've, I have had it.

I love you guys. Thanks. Ashley, I couldn't agree more. This is a problem born out of Trumpism. Absolutely. Ashley, I couldn't agree more. This is a problem born out of Trumpism, much like the Stanley Cup. And this is so breathtakingly unoriginal. You're co-opting onto a birthday party for Jesus. And then what happens to him?

Well, I'll tell you what it shows me. The war on Christmas is now becoming real, because people are taking away from the baby Jesus birthday. That's right. And they're adding their own personal excitement to it, taking away from that. So I mean, maybe there's something to the war on Christmas. But here's the thing.

You have all these performative proposals, like, you know, there's video cameras set up. You know, it's not a surprise to anybody that they're being proposed to because there's a fucking video crew there. Every single person they've ever met in their whole lives are there witnessing it. But I think the miss of all the Facebooks is on the post where they got proposed to, all I want for Christmas is you. I mean, that was the miss to me. If you're going to get, you got to quote Mariah Carey on your post, don't you think? I'm sure some of them did. I'm sure they did. It's

no way that some, if you thought of that, if I thought of that, I mean, of course there's a gajillion on Instagram right now where people have made that real. So, um, I just, I mean, we've talked about this ad nauseum, like there is this overperforming of getting engaged and getting married that to me demeans the sincerity of it. It becomes more of a production than it does about a couple that has chosen to couple up. And it's the biggest, the two biggest productions that I've been to in the last five years where the engagement was produced, the wedding highly produced, highly Instagrammed, highly snappy, all of the things, both surprisingly divorced within five years, right? Oh yeah. You know, having been the

person that, I mean even though there was no social media at the time I got married, I never, it never once crossed my mind what the marriage would be like or the person I was marrying. It was all about the bridesmaids and the ceremonies and the parties. So just from my personal perspective and experience, that just kind of smells disaster when it's so overperformed, overproduced. It's like you're not looking ahead. You're not playing the tape through.

And on a personal note, that's a disaster. Just from my experience. Let me ask you this. Did you play the tape through when you thought about walking onto that airplane and getting your suitcase? No, I didn't. That was completely spontaneous. Okay. All right. Next. Okay. Up next, we've got Sarah. Do you know what I've had it with people sending me pictures of their kids or when people send me pictures of their nieces and nephews? I don't care.

These are not my kids. I do not have kids. These are not even your kids. I don't care. You're showing me this to make you feel better. This doesn't make me feel better. This makes you feel better. I don't care. I do not care. I completely agree with this. There's a lot of the population are babies and kids. It's not a unique novel thing. A lot of them all kind of look alike. As we've gone over before, there's a lot of unattractive children. There's a lot of unattractive babies in particular. I think we talked about a few episodes ago about some of these toddlers that look like hammered dog shit.

Nobody's doing anything about that. We don't need these things circulated. That is an inner family circulation thing. It doesn't go outside of that circle. If you must send photographs, I propose you send images of dogs and cats. Those do far better on Instagram. I follow some dog influencers. I enjoy watching animal videos. I don't follow one baby influencer. I don't follow one toddler. I don't think that this sect of the population is that smart, that creative, or that inspiring. I really don't want to be intertwined with this segment of the population. I like babies and toddlers on a case by case basis, period.

No, I completely agree. And you know what's interesting is I was just back from vacation and I saw all these other people on vacation and they're taking videos, you know, walking down a street and looking at the monuments or whatever they're looking at. And in my head, I'm thinking, who do they think is going to watch these videos? Because nobody

wants to watch anybody else's vacation video, much like nobody wants a picture of your niece and nephew. Just like, unless we're family and related, I don't want you to hijack my phone with pictures of your kids, especially if I don't have kids. Because if I don't have kids, that tells me I'm not that interested in kids. So if I don't want my own kids, I'm certainly not interested in your fucking kids. I have kids and I'm barely interested in my own kids pictures. I certainly don't want someone else's kids pictures. Yeah, it's all of these things are connected. The engagement, the over the top wedding, the over the top kid sharing and photos. It's just it's not a novel thing. Like, people have been getting married for centuries. People have been breeding for forever, like since the beginning of all of it. You have to breed for all of us to be here.

And again, it's everybody just likes to celebrate these average things. Having a child, although it's very important to you personally, a lot of people do it. You know? I mean, just- You're not the only one. I think there's like 8 billion people in the world. Like stop, shut up, and quit sending the pictures of the ugly hammered dog shit kids.

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see if you can save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay, next we've got Matt. Hello, Miss Jessica and Mima Dreg. Meet Curtin at Law. Love y'all, long time listener. My name's Matt, I'm from Canada. I want to share what I've had it with this week, and I think you would probably agree,

is that I've had it with Canadians, specifically stupid Canadians, wearing Donald Trump merch in Canada. Like, not only are you wearing an I look stupid hat that says mega on it, but you're in the wrong fucking country. Like, why do you want to tell everyone that you're dumb and out of place when you're wearing political merch for the wrong fucking country? Like, go live there. Don't be here. I'm so

tired of this global rise of like fascism, right wingness. I'm so tired of it. We're all tired. It's rough out here. I hope y'all ladies are well. I love listening to you every week. Thanks so much. Hope you hear this. Bye. Okay, I've heard of this, you know, you've got some Canadians, you have some British people, you've got some Australians and they're all flirting with Trumpism. And here's what I have to say. You come over here, give up your health care, give up your wages, give up all the consumer protections and then get on over here with all the processed foods, $7.25 an hour.

You get cancer, tough titties, you're on your own, and see how much you like it. Because what we have here is a lot of dumb fucks on the internet, and they are getting radicalized by this. I still will never, as long as I live, understand how people watch him speak and think, yes, that's the leader we need. Because when I hear him speak, I think he is so braggadocious, wildly insecure, total

egomaniac, not very smart. It's just this bluster and he's just such a jack-off. I mean, I just, there's nothing redeeming at all about him. Yet millions of people hear him speak and they're like, yep, that's the one, that's him. Yeah, it's so interesting because, you know, in Canada, they don't, you know, they have problems with their prime minister or in other, you know, let's say New York City, they might have a problem with their governor or California. And I'm just like, get a fucking real problem. You don't have any idea what it's like to live under the MAGA stupidity. And like you

said, come over here, give up all your shit. And it goes back to these people. They think he's attractive. They think he's charismatic. They believe his bullshit. They don't see through it. So I immediately have to assume they're just not very bright. And I hate feeling that way because maybe there's another reason I'm just missing it because I don't see the charisma. I don't see, I'm with you. Like you hear him speak and it's embarrassing. Like I'm embarrassed that he goes and he is the representative for the United States in European countries or other countries. It's grossly offensive the way he behaves and talks and wearing MAGA hats in Canada, Australia, England.

That's so disappointing because you know how much I love Canadians, Australians and English. I just think that he is the leader for stupid people. And I don't feel bad anymore saying it. I don't. No, I don't. Because here's the problem. So many of these people, they love to, you know, you live tards. They have no problem saying all of these things about people that are more open-minded and accepting of all people. And then when they get criticized, it's victim city. It's, oh my God, they called us dumb. And I'm like, here's the thing. We

already, you've already fucked around, you're already starting to find out. He said he was going to deport everybody American jobs only guess what Elon wants to import? Tech bros from India to run Tesla, so they're already you know you're already finding out You're already it's broken-heart city, and so I just It's it's Exasperating to deal with this level of stupidity. And I don't know what happened in the world where we don't value expertise anymore. Like Donald Trump is the expert at nothing. He's filed bankruptcy, what, seven or eight times, bankrupted casinos.

You know, it's just, he's a shit show. He can't even put on his makeup properly. And for those listeners out there that say stuff about us, like, you know, y'all are so funny. I just wish you'd quit talking about politics. I just want you to know this. It's 2025 and we will not relent. Well, we will not pre-surrender to fascism. We are not scared of Donald Trump and Elon Musk. So if you don't like it, the podcast market is literally saturated. It is overflowing with dog shit podcasts just like ours. Just don't listen to us.

Go listen to Steve Bannon's War Room and just have a blast doing that. We don't want you here. I don't want you to listen to us. Go away. Okay, the last one is Alec. Hello Jen, Pumps, Kathy, everyone else in the studio. Love you guys.

Long time listener, first time had it. And I got a good one. So what I've had it with is we all know that we just wrapped up the Christmas season All right, and I have had it up to my hairline with having to sit around and Watch the babies of the family. I'm talking like the one to three year olds who like aren't really coherent and aren't aware of how Christmas works or how even gifts in general work and

we have to sit here and watch as their parents and everybody around them force them to care about opening presents. They're trying to run away. They're probably crying. They are crying. I saw it. They don't care that you just put this box that's wrapped in sparkly paper in front of them and they have to rip off the paper and show the crowd the thing that they just got from who knows what ant.

They don't fucking care and it's gruesome. It's brutal. Oh my god. It takes up way too much fucking time. They don't fucking care Just put the parent in the spot open the presents and say thank you. Oh my god. It's it's it's just It's the worst anyway kids not knowing how Christmas works We don't need to watch some open presents. I'm so sorry. Actually, I'm not but anyway, love you guys. Bye need to watch some open presents. I'm so sorry. Actually, I'm not. But anyway, love you guys. Bye. Okay. He's spot on. Spot on. So I have these little, two little nephews and a little niece, all under age two and under. And they have no idea what's going on. We've got like a four month old, we've got an eight month old and we have a two year old. Okay. They're darling. I love these babies.

These babies love me. Contrary to the cold black hearted person that I play on this podcast that constantly bashes babies, children and specifically hammer dog shit toddlers. These three individuals I adore. They're attractive. They're smart. They have a lot going for them. Here's where I agree with the caller. At Christmas, I hosted it at my house and the two-year-old is the only one that could potentially open the gifts. He was not interested and then the parents then are trying to feign, oh I think he does like it. Right. I got him a really cute jumpsuit.

I didn't get him a toy. I know he's not going to like it, but I know that he's going to look great in it. Right. And so I'm thinking like it for me, it was a projection gift. I was projecting how good looking Owen is going to look in this little sweatsuit. It's really cute. And the same with the little girl, Georgia. I got her darling little dress.

Georgia has no idea what's going on. But we all went through this performative bullshit instead of just saying here, here's the gifts. Y'all can unwrap them later. You know what? I think we even need to take this a step further. We need to quit wrapping gifts for babies. I think you're completely right.

Why are we wrapping gifts for a three-month-old, a four-month-old, a one-month-old, a one-year-old? Why are we doing it? Why are we being so wasteful? And why are we expecting that that child has the ability or the curiosity or the wherewithal to be able to open this gift? Right, it's a gift for the parent of the child. I say just give it to them. Say here, this is for the baby because the baby doesn't give a shit. Do you think we wrap it? No, I think that's a great idea. I like to go to like, I hate showers, but if I do go

to a shower and the gifts are unwrapped or it's in cellophane so we don't have to go through the whole unwrapping performative bullshit, I'm all in on that. There is nothing worse, nothing worse on the planet than a circle jerk where people sit in a circle and unwrap gifts and then raise the gift up and everybody's supposed to ooh and awe over the gift, which is something mundane, boring, and very pedestrian that we've all seen all of our entire lives. It is obscene, the performative nature of this, and this has been going on long before Instagram, long before social media. I will never have any part of it. I'm gonna declare right here, right now, this year, 2025, in Trump's America. I will not, under any circumstances whatsoever,

be a part of any sort of performative gift opening ever. If I'm in an event, let me just gonna tell you right here, right now, if you have some sort of fucking circle jerk pumps, and Emily gets engaged, and it's some sort of- Open presence, it and all. I'm gonna look at you and say, how dare you? How dare you do this to me, to her and all of these people?

I'm taking my gift, I'm returning it and I'm leaving. And I'm going to be the little twat just like you were on that airplane. I think you should. I think it's a great reminder. I will not enable. Nobody wants to do that. Going to a thing where everybody, oh, it's so cute. I mean, it's miserable.

OK, that call reminded me. OK. OK, so I'm going through my mail, and I have a Christmas card. And it just says, you know, like, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, whatever. And you open it up, and it's like, have a great holiday season.

I can't remember the words, but it was something very generic. And it's just signed Jackson. So this is the guy who put up your Christmas light. Well, I mean, I wrapped my brain. I'm asking my kids, like, do you want to know who Jackson is? You mean to tell me after everything you've been through with this guy, this month long sorted relationship you've had with Jackson, you didn't remember his name at the Christmas card? Well, it was so out of place. Why would Jackson, the Christmas lights guy, send me a Christmas

card? I know exactly why he would. And not sign his last name. Not that I know his last name. Y'all are on a first name basis. I mean, we have personal meetings. Think about everything you've gone through this holiday season. Yeah, it's been a big deal. We've talked about it five or six times on the podcast alone about everything you've gone through this holiday season. Yeah, it's been a big deal. We've talked about it five or six times on the podcast alone.

Everything you've gone through with this Christmas light guy. I think I'm team Jackson. Let me ask you this. When you got home from your trip on New Year's Day, were your lights up or down? My lights were up and I thought it's time to give Jackson a little text today. So you didn't text him and tell him you wanted him down on the 26th with all that big talk you chickened out? No, I didn't.

I didn't text him I wanted him down at 6 p.m. on the 25th nor the 26th. I thought I'll write it through my trip. But I mean, he is going to get a text in very short order. You think right when we finish filming this? I might. It might just come straight down. Or like last year, I just unplugged him after the first theater. Let me ask you this.

Did you send Jackson a Christmas card? I did not send anyone a Christmas card. Yeah, I noticed. I didn't get one. But I wouldn't have, would have Jackson would have been on my list. Well why not? I mean, if you think about this, think about this, think about all of the relationships you had in the month of December of 2024. Aside from me and your children,

who have you had the most interaction with? Jackson. It's Jackson. I have more interaction with Jackson than any other male in 2024. The whole calendar year. Yeah. The whole thing. There was tension. There were problems. There were solutions. A little bit of stalking, I felt like. Yeah. I mean, there was just a lot going on with you and Jackson. I think it was wildly appropriate for him to send you a Christmas card. I think it's on theme to the business he did. And I think you're being a little twat for minimizing his generosity and his sense of the holiday cheer and poo-pooing him sending you a card. And I am just mortified that you couldn't

remember who he was after everything that you two went through together and everything that we've drug our listener through. And we end the whole thing with you and Jackson, with you going, who the fuck is Jackson? Jesus Christ. It's why I'm not a good girlfriend, obviously. All right, listen up. That's all we have for today. And we don't have any shows coming up.

We don't really have anything going on other than our Patreon, our YouTube channel. We have a book coming out, Pumps Tell Them. We will see you any shows coming up. We don't really have anything going on other than our Patreon, our YouTube channel. We have a book coming out. Pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gay triots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.

It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, Pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Cacaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it. That's, that's, Cacaw! That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.