I've Had It - New Year, Same Us

Episode Date: December 31, 2024

Our New Year's resolution is to forget the high road and go lower at every turn. Pre-order our new book, join our Patreon Cult, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast. Thank you to our sponsors: eHarmony: Get started with their compatibility quiz, so you can find someone you can be yourself with. Download the app and get who gets you on eharmony. Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://shopify.com/hadit Cook Unity: Go to https://www.cookunity.com/HADIT for 50% off your first week. Thanks to CookUnity for supporting the show! Follow Us:  I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. That was pretty good. Pretty good to start the new year. Patriots and Gatriots and Atriots, we're heading into a new year, Uncharted Waters, and Pumps will be your calm in the storm. And whenever you're in public and you see egregious violations that you would only see in Trump's

America, do the following as loud as you can. That's what you do. Yeah. It's just gonna be a defense mechanism. And you might be the only one that knows what it is, but you'll feel better. Yeah. And people can look and be like, oh that person is crazy, but you'll just know that there are an army of people on asshole island that supports you and love you. And that you just need to belt out from the rooftops. From the rooftops. All right. Pims, what have you had it with? Okay. What I've had it with is people making new year's resolutions because my

resolution is not to make a resolution because I'm an asshole all year round. I embrace it. I'm an asshole all year round. I embrace it. I'm just embracing all my character defects, all my shittiness, all my pettiness. I'm going to amplify it. 2025, you know why? It's going to take a lot to get through the next four years. Yeah, I'm going to start by being a bigger dick, a bigger asshole. So I hate resolutions, but I have one.

Okay. I like that. Your resolution is to be meaner. Right. My resolution is to be, I'm going to try to amp up, you know, Michelle Obama, they go low, we go high. Right, right. They're going to go so low, we can't imagine how low.

And so I'm going to strive to go lower. At every turn. At every turn. All right. I like it. I'm totally on board with that. I think I'm going to dance around on the high road this new year. Really? Yeah. I'm going to be up there just taking the high road left and right. I'm going to try to be kinder. Instead of starting off each episode with a grievance, I'm going to start off with gratitude.

Really? Something I have gratitude for. Yeah. Instead of starting off each episode with a grievance, I'm gonna start off with gratitude. Something I have gratitude for. Yeah. You know, they say you can't be stressed if you're thinking about what you're grateful for. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna have no stress and all I'm gonna do is just vomit up gratitude, serenity.

Platitude. All of that stuff. Yeah. Maybe we should start reciting the beginning of every episode, God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. You know, you know how I feel about prayer. I know, but that's more of a, I don't really consider it a prayer. The serenity prayer. The serenity prayer. I mean, it says it's a prayer, but I think if it's more of like, it's a reminder that you're fucked and sometimes you just have to be fucked and accept that you're

fucked. Anyway, I'm just kidding you guys. I'm not going to start off each episode. I was going to say that's going to be the shortest lived resolution in the history of all resolutions. I am not going to start off each episode with a gratitude list because quite frankly, I am not that grateful for many things. And in 2025, I want to point out more fuckery. And I want a lot of it to be focused on the find out phase that all these Trump voters fucked around with. I'd like to highlight when they start finding out that Trump isn't the president, that it's actually Elon Musk who's not even American. Right. Yeah. And Putin. Yeah, and all that shit. So that's gonna be a lot of

fun. But let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. This is just a personal thing that I saw the other day that I wanted to share with you and the listener that I thought was a huge violation. Pulled up to 7-eleven, pumped some gas, got my credit card in, got the nozzle in, got it all set, went back and sat driver's seat. And there's another car and we're nose to nose, right? Well, the gal is pumping the gas, the guy is sitting behind the wheel. She goes up to him and their doors open and she leans in and they start stage five making out. Oh, I was afraid you were going to say that.

It is PDA at the gas pump. Gross. It is. And here's the thing, and this is going to sound terrible, and I know I'm a terrible person for saying this. These people were not attracted at all. Which made it worse. So it was like ugly people PDA. Yeah. Which is an

especially egregious violation. And so it was like one of those things, you know sometimes you see couples and you think, God did they do it? And then you start to see them do it in real life. And it's horrifying. And it's a nightmare. A nightmare at the gas pump. That's what I had to go through the other day. So just like to double down, circle back on some grievances that I've had this past year. PDA. I would like to add a layer of it. Ugly people PDA is a more egregious violation than pretty people PDA. And I know I shouldn't say that, but in Trump's America, we're going to start being more honest. The fact-checking must start now. We're gonna be more honest and I think if you're hooked up to true serum and a polygraph

if you have to see people make out you're always gonna lean to seeing more attractive people making out. I don't even think anybody would argue that. I think ugly people would. Ha ha ha. True. Okay, but here's the thing. This is like a universe question. Like, if you're super ugly and your make out partner is super ugly,

you think they're attractive. So you don't know that they're ugly. So that's the thing, right? Although I knew my ex-husband wasn't cute. Yeah, you knew. I knew and married him anyway, chased him down the aisle, all the things. You even baby talked with him. I've been told that. I don't remember it. I heard it. I remember it. But I'm not going to deny it. There was some baby talk going on. I mean, I think you do know. I think you know. Like I know, I look in the mirror and I know it's not what it was. It's not as great as, you know, somebody else. I think you're very attractive. It's average. You know what I mean? I think you're very pretty. But in general terms, I'm just saying I've had it with PDA. And then I think an extra layer of grievance that I have to it is when you have very unattractive people

participating in PDA, it adds an extra layer of distaste that I do not like. And I just wanted to bring that to everybody's attention. Remember I told you the story about the ugly people playing grab ass in the security line and it just was more than I could take. I mean, it's just, I agree. They have to be attractive.

I mean, if you have to suffer through it, let them at least be attractive. Okay, welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kylie. I have a really big announcement. What is it?

Okay, what? We have hit 12,010 reviews on Apple. Yay! That is so cool. I'm excited about that. Now you're going to browbeat for 15, but I'm going to celebrate 12. Good for you. Okay, I've got a five-star review. And they write, Hello, Pump Tina and her hot lesbian friend. I came across this podcast probably a year ago. I saw two women who looked incredibly young talking about what bothered them and I assumed they were Mama bears who make having children their whole personality

I was pleasantly surprised when just like me and my husband They just complain and air the petty grievances about the dumbed-down people they encounter every day Keep up the great work ladies. We appreciate your insight Candor and most of all your dirty mouths love a homosexual from the hellscape that is Iowa. I love that. That just makes me tingle inside. It makes me so happy. I love that they call out the women that make having a child their whole personality.

Absolutely. It is fingernails on a chalkboard. When women sit and incessantly talk about their kids. It has always driven me crazy. I've always had an extreme self-awareness that nobody gives a shit about what my kids are doing except for myself and the blood relatives. That's it. And even some other blood relatives are probably like, I don't give a shit what Dylan and Roman are doing. But the whole identity of being a mother, it's sad because these are the women that just feel so lost when their kids grow up.

Right, they just don't have anything else. They need part-time jobs, they need more to do. Starbucks and being a mother is just not enough. Okay, this one's five stars, titled, If You're Not Laughing, You're Crying. And she writes, Jen and pumps are unhinged, unstoppable, and somehow always right. Do yourself a favor and hit play.

You're welcome. Love a Gen Z-er. A Gen Z-er, that's exciting. Yes, so I agree, unhinged, unstoppable, and the most important part of that was always right. Right. So I want to just say into this new year, I have some predictions. Some things that I predict are going to happen. I think there's going to be more scandals involving Stanley Cubs than just the 2.6 million recall that recently happened. I think there's going to be a lot more. And I am gonna do everything in my power

to end the top-not-headbands, because I can't look at them anymore. They're awful. I can't look at somebody with a horn on their head. I can't look at it anymore. I don't know why so many people look in the mirror and think, God damn, this horn on my head looks so great today.

Okay, that just kind of makes my point though about the unattractive people making out in public. Like, whoever has that top-knot headband, bejeweled, bedazzled with pearls, I see them with pearls all the time, like big pearls. They look in the mirror and they're like, I look great, this is a great look for me. This just goes back to beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That's what I'm saying.

So like, you know, maybe that's the way it should be. Well, it for sure, it for sure should be that way. I mean, of course, the two people that I saw at 7-Eleven making out that I found to be unattractive, they found each other to be attractive, and one could argue there's something beautiful in that. But that's not this podcast. This podcast is talking about how dare you, how dare your ugly asses mack down and make out and fill each other up while you're filling up your tank.

I have had it. That's what this podcast is about. There are other podcasts where they will tell people, that's beautiful what you did. It's y'all are beautiful. All of those things. That's not what this podcast is. It's not here. No, no. Not today. Okay. So I believe what we're going to do in this episode is we are going to play our greatest hits This episode is we are going to play our greatest hits, voice memos, some oldies but goodies. You will want to stay tuned to listen to each and every one of them because these are Kylie's favorites. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been

this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up, wouldn't you say, Pumps? I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is

Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Pumps this 2025, a lot of people probably have an idea they've had in their back pocket for a long time. And with the start of the new year, they think, yep, I'm going to do it. I'm going to launch it. And I say, listener, do it and do it with Shopify. That's what we did. And it makes it so easy. What's so great about Shopify is it takes your idea to the next level. It doesn't matter how big your business is or how small. It takes all of the overwhelming distractions away and provides a great platform for selling and social media.

Listener, the best time to start your new business is right now. Shopify makes it simple to create your brand, open for business, and get your first sale. Get your store up and running easily with thousands of customizable templates, no coding or design skills required. All you need to do is drag and drop. Their powerful social media tools let you connect all of your channels and create shoppable posts and help you sell everywhere people scroll. Established in 2025 has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com.com had it all lowercase. Go to shopify.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.'ve had it. Jessica Lutz First, we've got Olivia. Olivia Hi, Jessica. Hi, POMPS. I'm originally from Poland, but I've been living in the US for the past eight years. So I've accumulated an entire book of I've

had it's about the American people. So let me at least share one. I've absolutely fucking had it with these stupid ass Instagram moms saying things like, thank you my baby for choosing me to be your mommy. No, you were raw dogging on vacation in Florida, you got pregnant and now you have a baby. Don't make anything more of it. And besides, how fucking narcissistic of you to think that this baby out of all the moms out there would choose your stupid ass who posts stuff like that on Instagram fucking clowns anyways love you guys I can't. Oh my God. My God. That is so good.

Check that shit into my veins. It's so good. It is the best. Kylie, I need for you to text message that to me so I can put it in my sounds on my phone so I can just listen to it when I need, when I need a, some people want to hear inspirational quotes to put them in a good mood. I want to hear that. I got you.

That fucking clown at the end was the best. That puts me in a good mood. I love how narcissistic that you think that baby would choose you. What about, what about you? You were wrong talking. In Florida. It's true. The Instagram mom culture. It's so over the top. She's probably talking about a two or three year old that doesn't have Instagram. So the kids not seeing it. So it's totally performative. Wouldn't it be nice if like in 18 years you could follow that same person the kid gets on and goes

that woman was the biggest fucking nut. I hated her guts. Just go on and on and on. And I didn't choose her. I was forced to come out that uterus. No, that was great. No, she's right though. The Instagram mom culture in America is just, it's so over the top. It's like being a mother is this new original thing. Right, first generation that's ever been. And this child is the most, the first of its species, of its kind that's ever walked the planet Earth. And I chose this child and this child chose me

and serendipity fucking injecting into the veins and it's total bullshit. You bred. You bred. You fucked, you raw, you fucked, you raw dog, you popped out a kid, right? Okay, your kid is every bit as special as everybody else's, which is not that special. And your journey into motherhood is about like ours. It just is what it is. It is wonderful to you and to you personally. Sometimes it's a

pain in the ass. And I think it's more refreshing. I do too. When I hear a mother say, being a mother is so great, but it's also equal parts exhausting, lonely, isolating, miserable, and difficult. And that's the type of mother I want to talk to. Those are the people I gravitate to. The ones that aren't blowing smoke.

The Stepford Wives that put out this whole, you know, I can't take it. It's too much. But you know what's so great about at our age, again, is that we've cultivated our friends so well, that those people are at arm's length. Oh, yeah. Like we might see them on Instagram, but that's as close as they're going to get. I saw on Instagram the other day, a gal was posting, she was recommending, I think we've talked about this before, but it's worth a revisit, recommending school drop-off looks. Oh, that's right. Yes. I remember you sent that to me and I just thought, go fuck yourself. Nobody except you cares what you're wearing at drop-off. Nobody. Universally.

You're the only person out of eight billion people that cares. And for you to post it on the Instagram as a drop-off look, I mean, that just, the height of narcissism. And it goes back to this point. You really shouldn't be up at your kid's school. Right. And the schools, it's not good for the teachers. No.

It's not good for the administrators. And it sure as fuck's not good for the teachers, it's not good for the administrators, and it sure as fuck isn't good for these kids because just as much as a mom needs a break from the kid, the kid needs a break from the mom. My kids needed a break from me. They needed to go play with people their size, with their same developmental stage, and they needed to make friends. And I oppose these parents helicoptering around these schools. It's ridiculous. It wasn't like that when we

were younger. No it was not. I think it exacerbates anxiety. I think it's a pain in the ass for these teachers. It's a pain in the ass for these administrators. And I think that they need to stand up full force and if people want to go dictate what goes on in public schools and they don't like it, then fucking homeschool your kid. Right. That's an easy fix. Get out all your textbooks and you sit there with your fucking brat and you homeschool

them. But don't go piling on to all these poor teachers because your child chose you and y'all have this most unique bond that no other mother and child have ever experienced on the fucking planet Earth. Fuck off. But one thing I want to point out to the listener is when you would drop off your kids in the robe before your white suburban Petri dish of a car had even come out of the circle drive for drop off, a surgical glove was put on your hand, a Marlboro light box was packed, you were light in a girt in this red robe as you're pulling out a carpool line with the mother

who you're having to pass the mother who says, I'm so glad this child chose me giving you the stink eye. In her outfit of the day. In her outfit of the day as you're blowing smoke out the window. That shit is fucking great. It is. And remember that one day I called you, I was like, pulling out a carpool, lit up my cigarette and a mom in front of me lit up the cigarette. And I remember I called you, I was like, oh my God, there's two of us. I'm so happy. Yeah, she was blowing smoke out of hers too. Yeah,

I was barely out of carpool line before I was. whoosh. Uh-huh. Do you think your kids were glad they chose you in that moment? I think my kids are always so glad they chose me every minute of the day. And that's just such a, I mean, it's so stupid. It's so stupid. Here's what all it is, is what she said.

You're raw dogging. On vacation. Everybody's all hot and bothered. And that's all there is too. And you've got this person's set of genetics and this person's set of genetics. And it's just a scientific thing happens with all species not unique to you. The kid didn't choose you. The kid didn't choose you. I hate to break your heart.

Yeah. Fuck her. Fuck her. Love the gal from Poland. What's her name? That was Olivia. Olivia. Olivia, that goes down in the I've had it hall of fame. Yes. Because some people want inspirational quotes. I want that shit. I want that shit. That puts me in a good mood. And I don't care who knows it. Kylie, who's next? Up next, we've got

McKinsey J. Jen and pumps. I am coming at you from Wisconsin. And I have absolutely had it with getting up to the goddamn register and the cashier asking, would you like to donate a dollar and join the fight to end cancer with the American Cancer Society? Then I look like an evil bitch saying, no, no thank you, not today. This literally just happened to me. I'm at Walgreens and the kid behind me says loud enough for everyone to fucking hear. He looks at his mom and he says, I hope you choose to donate, mom.

Then I feel the need to defend myself and like, you know, no, I do donate and whatever. But it's just like, you know, I would have loved to look at him and say, you know, fuck you and fuck Walgreens corporate and all of their goddamn tax write offs. It's just like, you know, I would have loved to look at him and say, you know, fuck you, and fuck Walgreens corporate and all of their goddamn tax write offs. But yeah, I have just absolutely had it. That's fantastic. Because that happened to me this week, this very week. And I always say no, it's forced philanthropy. Right. And here's the deal. Walgreens is awful from the job. That is such bullshit. It is forced philanthropy. Yeah. And here's the deal. Walgreens is awful from the job. That is such bullshit. It is forced philanthropy. Walgreens goes trotting around making billions of dollars in revenue. And instead of them being the philanthropic fuckers that they want us to

be, they need to do it. I'm tired. All the tipping stuff we talked about a couple episodes ago. What this is, is corporations putting the burden of all of this stuff on working class people. And I guarantee you they're tax dodgers because all the breaks, all the tax breaks are for corporations like this. And they pay their employees probably minimum wage, which hasn't been raised in like a decade. So then, instead of them saying, hey, you know what, American Heart Association, American Cancer Association, here's a billion dollars because we have like hundreds of billions. We're gonna guilt our customers into donating

and we're gonna make them look like assholes when our cashier calls it out. So here's what I have to say to Walgreens and to CBS. Pay your employees more and you donate the money. I don't want to be forced into philanthropy nor shamed into philanthropy. I want it to be my choice. Right. Well, it's the shaming. It's just the shaming, like that you have to say, no, like some places you go and I'll say, do you want to donate and you can just hit no, there's not any communication. That needs to be removed. A hundred percent it's bad, but it's worse when they ask you. And then you've got that

little fucker. I mean, I wish she would have just turned around and slapped the shit out of him. And his mother was probably like, Oh, little Johnny. I mean, you just know she was awful if he felt liberated enough to say that loud enough for her to hear. What a little fucker. He's a little shit. I wonder if his mom pushes pills on him. Fuck off.

That is the biggest. They were at Walgreens. I don't go to Walgreens. I've boycotted Walgreens years ago. I hate that place. You do? Why? Cause you always have to stand in line.

I mean, I just hate everything about it. What about CVS? I don't like that either. I mean, if I have to go in there, I might, but it would be like gun to my head. Well, I think that she's onto something with the forced philanthropy. I think it goes right there with the tip jars. Starbucks, pay your employees a livable wage. Because Congress isn't gonna fucking do shit about it because they're too busy harassing drag queens. So corporate America, you donate the money

and you pay people a livable wage and get off our backs. Why do we have to pay all these people? They're the ones with all the billions of dollars. When do you get Bernie Sanders on this show? I'll work on it. Thank you. I'm sure he'll be first one out. I think he's probably had it with a lot of shit.

He would probably be the king if I've had it. Totally, totally. Okay, Kylie, who's next? Okay, next we've got Tammy M. Here is what I've had it with. I've had it with straight women using the term partner for their male boyfriend or male husband period. The term partner has been reserved and used by the gay community since existence because we were not allowed to be legally married. So we use the

term partner. Now it doesn't bother me so much. However, my partner, she's what we call a lesbian ninja. She is super feminine. So she walks amongst the straights completely undetected. So when she meets another female who starts talking about their partner, my ninja lesbian gets all excited thinking she's met another ninja lesbian only for that woman to whip out a picture of her boyfriend or husband and totally shatter her dreams. So straight people, stop using the term partner. That's ours, it's all we got.

I love it. I love it. A couple of things to unpack here. First and foremost, she's 100% right. Straight people have gobbled that up and that's not right. That is exclusively for gay people, I think. Yeah, I agree with that. Secondly, I've got to talk about ninja lesbians.

The first time I've ever heard it, we have got to dissect this shit because that is fucking 10 out of 10. I had never heard that either and I love it. So a ninja lesbian is the super feminine that can doll up. According to Tammy, the ninja lesbian can go about and interact with the straights undetected as a lesbian. Right. So she's out like totally, it's like stealth lesbianism. Yes.

I mean, I play pickleball with a lot of lesbians and there's a couple of them that if I didn't know that they were gay, they would definitely be ninja lesbians, but of course I know that they are. Right. But I love this whole ninja. It's a new word. Is that a word that is common amongst the lesbian community?

I had never heard it. Okay. All right, ninja lesbians. New word from Tammy. You are welcome here on I've Had It Podcast. We want to know what you've had it with ninja lesbians, our new obsession. New obsession. Kylie, how do you feel with ninja lesbians, our new obsession. New obsession.

Kylie, how do you feel about ninja lesbians? I think I'm dating one. You sure are, for sure. Ana is 100% a ninja lesbian. She's a walking Bratz doll. Yes, she is. You would never know. Never in a million years. She is 1000% the poster child for a ninja lesbian.

For this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Pumps, how's it going over at eHarmony? Well, it's a lot better than aimless dating because eHarmony cuts a lot of the back-and-forth back and it matches you with people that you're more likely to like. See, that's the thing. You don't want to just be out there in the ocean thinking, is this guy going to be right? Is this guy going to be right? So I like that they do a lot of the work for you. Listener, dating is different on eHarmony. People on eHarmony want to find someone they can be themselves with. They're not just aimlessly dating.

They want a genuine connection. Because of eHarmony's compatibility quiz, your personality is the star of your profile. And when your personality is the star, finding the right person is so much easier. Get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. Download the app and get who gets you on eHarmony. Pops, I am so busy. I don't have the time to do a lot of like meal prep or worry about it. That's why I am so grateful for Cook Unity. Amazing food, amazing meal prep. It has made my life immensely better. What's so great about Cook Unity is their meals are created by chefs and they're healthy

and balanced and they taste delicious. Listener, they are easy and effortless. Choose from hundreds of meals prepared by award-winning chefs or let them choose for you. No cleanup or meal planning, meals delivered fully cooked, just heat in as little as five minutes. Flexible, commitment-free subscriptions. Skip deliveries, pause or cancel anytime. Enjoy restaurant-quality meals for a fraction of the price. Subscriptions start as low as $11 a meal. Listener, reset your

routine with convenient mouthwatering meals crafted with local ingredients by award-winning chefs. Okay, next we've got Michelle M. Hello, ladies. This is what I've had it with. Senior discount day. Now listen, pumps, you might be close, so I get it. You want to reap the benefits. Jennifer, not even close. Not even.

But when's my day? I'm 36 years old. When, when's my day? I'm 36 years old, when do I get a day? They're in the goddamn grocery store, they leave their fucking cart a mile away, in my way, to go get their goddamn cheapest whatever meat, whatever goddamn thing they need, or they cut you off. If you're waiting to get meat, they don't even notice you're there If you're in, if you're waiting to get me, they just they don't even notice you're there.

They're like, fuck you. Then you go to the checkout line and it's I roll goddamn city. Oh, where the fuck you got to go, Karen. Go sit on your goddamn couch and watch a soap opera. I've had it. Michelle. Yeah. Michelle. there's so much to impact there. Number one, five stars on the delivery or Starbucks would say seven stars. That is it. And here's the deal. She is 100% right. Senior citizens with the senior discounts. It it is a lot. We both have parents that are seniors and they like to grandstand.

Nothing more than they love to tell you about their discount. And we're talking a dollar 50. No, my mom used to lie to get the discount to go into the movies. I will be I mean, you know, what is that Charlton Heston from my cold dead hands? I mean, I will be like, I'm not a senior. What are you talking about? I had a football game last year that I went to that I, because typically they have a card reader.

You can use your card. Well, I only had like $5. And so I set my purse down. I was like, y'all, I don't think I have that. They didn't have a card reader. It was cash only. And I was like, y'all, I don't think I'm going to be able to come in.

I only have $5. And I was like, y'all, I don't think I'm going to be able to come in. I only have $5. And the guy selling me the ticket said, well, you get the senior citizen discount. And it's only $5. And so I said, you think I am a senior citizen? And he got super embarrassed. Well, every time I would go to the bathroom, I'd say something quibi to him about it.

And by the time I left, he's like, you're going to make me cry. This is terrible. I mean, I just would not let up about it. And by the time I left, she's like, you're going to make me cry. This is terrible. I mean, I just would not let up on it. A senior me. Well, I mean, you're the one, I mean, you got to get bangs in like a year. But I mean, I just was like, here's the deal though. Back, back to Michelle's point.

Like these seniors, like my dad will go on and on about the senior discount that he got. And I, some points I just want to say, I'll give you the $2 so we don't have to hear about it anymore. Right. Right. I mean, like it is not interesting nor fun. And I'm glad that you got to save money.

But to Michelle's point, like I when I've had been able to, you know, accumulate money as I've gotten older, the time that I needed the discount was when I was when Michelle's age. Right. Oh, absolutely The time that I needed the discount was when I was when Michelle's age. Right, oh, absolutely. That's who needs the discount. The seniors, they're not paying for kids anymore. And then we wouldn't have, I think we need to take the senior citizen discount away

and give it to like the 25 to 35. Those are the people that are really struggling financially. The hustle discount, when you're out there hustling for life, senior citizens, they've got it. But I'll tell you my favorite thing. She said, I roll goddamn city. And I think Kylie made us something because I love this so much that we now

have a gold button, Michelle. Oh gosh. I'm going to put it right at, where's the speaker here you ready? So every time you say something I think is stupid I'm gonna do this. I rule god damn city. That was the best! Where's mine? I rule god damn city.

So I'm gonna keep it right here Michelle that's probably one of my favorite lines. Callie where's mine? Out of any color. You don't get, we don't give seniors electrical devices. Fuck off. What's their vibrators? I love it. Michelle, you are so right. I've had it with the seniors and their discounts and they're constantly flexing about the discount. Mom and dad, if you're listening, we're all tired of hearing about the discount.

Nobody cares. It's not interesting. Another thing she points out is the lingering at the meat counter. They do. They linger there and it's like, all I have to do is grab this right in front of you. And I've just gotten kind of aggressive with them.

And there's like, they do cut. They totally cut. They're total cutters. The self-awareness starts to leave. And it's not all seniors, but like, it's just like, why are they getting the discount at that age? Maybe because they're getting senile? We need it in the hustle era.

I needed the discount when I was her age. Absolutely. Yeah. I agree with that. That's when you're just like, adulthood is just slapping you in the face and you're paying here, paying here, paying here. By the time you're a senior, your house is probably paid for or getting close to being paid for. Your kids are out of college or out of, you know, a vocational school.

Your expenses are exponentially less. A lot less. Yeah. Michelle, I think this is something we need to stand for. Ban the senior discount. What are we going to name the gold button? Huh? Oh, it's I roll goddamn city. I roll goddamn city. for, ban the senior discount. What are we gonna name the gold button? Huh?

Oh, it's I roll goddamn city. I roll goddamn city. That we're gonna name it too. Whenever you say something stupid, that's what I'm gonna do. Stupid button. The stupid button, yeah. Kylie, I feel like you're showing favoritism

that you got her the button and didn't get me the button. Get over it. I'm just gonna say. I roll goddamn city. It's getting a lot of use already. Yeah. Okay, last one is Jessica S. So first of all, I just wanna say

that I really love you guys. When I have to travel for work, you really make things interesting, but okay, enough of that shit. So what I've had it with is when there is a lot of traffic, especially in the afternoons, getting off work, and there's a line of traffic and some fucker wants to come up the side of everyone else just so he can jump in front of you. Absolutely not. I will not let it happen. I will inch so close to the person in front of me

that you can't put a fucking piece of paper in between us before you get in front of me. Or like on the interstate when there's a line of traffic and traffic stops and people wanna come up on the shoulder. Like I really hope that you get a flat tire on whatever trash is on the fucking side of the interstate and I hope that you don't have triple A. It's such a good one. Oh, it's so great. It is so, I get furious at people that try to

cut into. She is not going to have it. I'm not going to have it. it is not happening on her watch. You could fit a piece of paper. I love that. I mean, you know, and she's right. There's always some hot shot grandstander. Always. Always. That's got a big dick it over. Fly down the shoulder so that he can ram in front. She will not. I love it that she will not let him in. I'm kind of the same way. I'm kind of him too, but I wouldn't go that aggressive. Like I'd be too scared. I would have a wreck. I'm going to start going. I mean, I think that's goals. And I think everybody should do it. So that person's just sitting over there in the shower. The other lane. Yeah. Just stuck. And it's like, sorry, sorry. Get in line with everybody else. Motherfucker.

Yeah, that's right. There's a line, starts back there. Oh my God, she is so right. I love that. That was so funny. Yeah, Jessica, we're going to model you. Yeah, and I think that, like, you know how, maybe it's like a four lane highway, right? And maybe I'm in the second lane,

like there's the fast lane, which is the left lane, and then one lane over. And about two miles out from my exit, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna start making it over. Right. And then the people that like won't let you get over, I wonder if she would be, I think she would let the person go

if they're going against the grain to get it to the exit. I think she's just saying like, you're not waiting your turn. Right. Nobody wants to be here in this line, but we have to be here. Right. And you're trying to catch. She's not having it.

She will not have it not on her watch. No, she hopes they don't have AAA and she hopes they get a flat. That was good. It was so good. I have to say callers, voice memoers, thank you so much. Please go to our Instagram and leave a voice memo. We need even more for 2025. They are our favorite episodes.

It makes us feel normal, good, better than, exceptional. All of these things to know that there are other assholes out there besides the two of us, the asshole army with the voice memos. It's really quite beautiful. Everybody have the greatest New Year and Pumps Tell them. We will see you podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America always served with a side of petty grievances.

We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, Pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Cacaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it. That's an eagle say? Cacaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw!

That's it, that's, that's, CACAW! That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.