I've Had It - Permanently Uninvited

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

Having a gaytriot summer with Cody Rigsby & Andrew Chappelle. NEW TOUR DATES ANNOUNCED! For more I've Had It + tour updates, merch and more at linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Thank you to our sponsors: Addyi, The Little Pink Pill: See full prescribing information and medication guide, including boxed warning for severe low blood pressure and fainting, at http://addyi.com/pi Bombas: Head over to https://Bombas.com/hadit and use code hadit for 20% off your first purchase. Homes.com: When it comes to finding a home - not just a house - we have everything you need to know, all in one place. https://homes.com. We’ve done your home work. RoBody: Go to https://RO.CO/HADIT. Memberships start at just $99 for your first month. Medication costs are separate. Shopify: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://shopify.com/hadit, now to grow your business - no matter what stage you’re in. Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guest: Cody Rigsby & Andrew Chapelle @tactfulpettiness

Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever, if you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say?

Cacaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it. That's, that's, Cacaw! That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. Ready? One, two, three. That was bad.

Can you act like an eagle? There you go. I can do that better. Welcome to I've Had It podcast. Sometimes the star of our show has a hard time finding her hands. Well, you're not looking. See, that was better. We are a place for open-minded thinkers to air petty grievances.

Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is all the paperwork you have to fill out when you go to the doctor. My doctor that I've gone to forever changed systems. So I went in for my pellets. Hang on, the thing that you have crammed up your ass. No, it's not crammed up your ass. They make like a little incision in your butt cheek.

It's not in your crack. It's not in your rectum. But they cram it in your ass. Yeah, I mean, I don't know in your butt cheek. It's not in your crack. It's not in your rectum. But they cram it in your ass. Yeah, I mean, I don't know how they do it. I've never seen it. It is in your ass. It's in your ass. I think they put like little pills or something underneath your skin.

So they cram it in the ass. Yeah, but not your asshole. Just in your butt cheek. All right. So anyway, this whole process by the time you deaden it and do all that, it's about a 20 minute deal. Getting the stuff crammed in your ass. Getting the stuff crammed in your ass. So they come in and they're like, oh, we got a new system. You got to refill out of this paperwork. I was done with the pellet before I was done with the fucking paperwork. And I was just like, who cares if I had a surgery when I was five years old? Like,

shut the fuck up. And then I just got irate over the HIPAA release because I'm like, you have to sign a release if they can leave a message. You have to sign a release if they can text you. You have to sign a release that you know your privacy rights. You have to sign a release that your emergency contact can be contacted. Yet they want to know everything about what's going on in a woman's gynecological office. And it was just infuriating.

So when the doctor came in, I chewed her out. When the nurse, I mean not her, but I was just like, how can this be? I wasn't mad at her, but I was just like, how can this be that there's 14 releases about who you can release my information to and the government fucking wants my information because I'm female. It makes me furious. I mean it totally turned the course of my whole day because I was just like do not sit here and make a sign all these fucking forms about our privacy when you want to track girls menstrual cycles. When you want Joe Blow dipshit state representative, state of Oklahoma, to come in and tell me

what I can do with my body. It makes me so fucking mad. Changed the entire complexion my day. Furious. I mean, what could have been a rather enjoyable pellet being crammed up your ass. Next thing you know, heads are rolling. Heads are rolling. I mean, what could have been a rather enjoyable pellet being crammed up your ass next thing, you know, heads are rolling.

Heads are rolling. But you know, to your point, the vice presidential candidate of the Republican Party, he's on the record in his own voice saying that he wants it to be a felony if a woman crosses state lines to receive abortion care, that he wants women going to prison. Donald Trump himself in his own voice said that he wants it to be a crime and there needs to be a punishment for a woman receiving abortion care, which had it kind of segues over to my I've had it. And I've had it with these dumbass, entitled white women on Instagram when from day one of this podcast,

we have been very transparent that we care passionately about human rights and social justice. We haven't minced words. We haven't said it softly. We haven't whispered it. To the contrary, we've said, if you don't agree with us, we don't want your follow. We don't want you to subscribe.

We don't want you to listen. Go to your mega church and fuck right on off. We've been crystal clear about this. So it makes sense that we talk about this on our podcast that our illustrious producer, Kylie, would put reels together for TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and that same message would be on our social platforms. I think suburban white women might be some of the dumbest

idiots I have ever seen in my entire life. And they think they wield such a big stick. Because they write in the comment section, I'm never going to support you ever again. I wish you'd just stick to being funny. Unfollowed. Bye. I'm like, well Debbie, good. Hit the fucking bricks. Go tithe to your mega church pastor that has a big PJ and a stylist and billions of dollars of net worth and gets PPP loans and you go be morally duplicitous because one day, Debbie, your little daughter or your little granddaughter might need abortion care and I will put my

head on the pillow at night knowing that I fought for her. Or also Debbie, one day you might have a queer grandchild who is bullied by people and you might love that child more than anything on the planet. But don't you worry Debbie because a lot of us are fighting for that kid when you are too big of a pussy to fight for him. So I've had it with these women who think that we're just pining for their follow. I am relieved when I see that you leave. So listen up entitled white women. We don't want your follow. If you want to announce that you're unfollowing, I appreciate that because you put it in the

permanent record what a bigot you are, how opposed to human rights that you are, and what a Christian hypocrite that you are. Because I go and I click on the profile and it's like, I love Jesus, blah blah blah, and I'm glad that you're making physical documentation to the exact type of hypocrite you are, and I'm so pleased, pleasantly pleased, that we are not your people because you make me sick. Yeah, and there's a lot of that out there right now. In my world view, I would think it would be embarrassing. Yeah.

It would be embarrassing. Humiliating. Humiliating. I just, I cannot wrap my head around people. It's like, I get that you have a contrary view to democratic view. I mean, the healthiest political system is when both Democrat and Republican parties are healthy and standing on the opposite sides of issue and negotiating the best way forward.

I'm all for that. I'm all for that. I'm all for negotiation. That's not what we have right now. Bipartisanship. No, I know, but what I'm saying is, what you're advertising when you support MAGA is that you do not believe in equality. Or democracy.

Or democracy. Or the- The constitution. I mean, all of it. Women's rights. Women's rights, LBGTQI- Minority rights. Minority rights. democracy or the Constitution. I mean all of it. Women's rights, women's rights, LBGTQA plus rights, minority rights, voting rights, people's rights. You don't believe you are so ignorant.

You know what these these people sit around in free base Fox News like a bunch of fucking junkies because the first thing they end up saying is, what about the border? Well, I look up where this person lives. They live in Indiana, which last time I checked the map of the United States of America was quite far from the border. And they sit and watch Fox News, who have very much identified the enemy for these Christian nationalists. And it happens to be brown people that are seeking asylum in the United States of America. And I would think, if you're a Christian, that would be something that you would support.

But the facts on the ground are completely different than what these people realize. Number one, first and foremost, President Joseph Robinette Biden has deported more illegal immigrants than Trump ever did. And those are the facts, but they don't say that on Fox News. Furthermore, Trump killed the bill that would have been a very conservative bipartisan border bill. So you can't have it both ways.

You can't say you're worried about the border. And then when there's a solution in front of you to help mitigate issues at the border while still being humane, you believe Trump, who I believe he said, why can't we allow migrants from Scandinavia in here? Right. Well, why does he want Scandinavians? Because they're white. Exactly. So all these white women that thought they had a crush on us at one point because we had a Bravo show and you heard the Southern accents and you thought, Oh my God, these are my girls. We're not your girls. Get pack your shit up, be a moron, announce it on Instagram that you're

leaving because every single one of those just makes my heart filled with love. And it expands my heart for more love for the people that you and your hateful political party marginalized have had it. Had it. All right. So light, lighthearted intro. Yeah, we just kind of went, here's the deal. It's an election year and we're passionate about this and we want our listeners to feel

passionate about this because we live in a red state where our rights have been taken away. Your daughter's rights have been taken away. My son's girlfriend, her rights have been taken away from her. It's not okay. It's not okay to think that my daughter could die if she wanted to have a baby and there were complications. Yeah, but the pro-lifers.

They're not pro-life. No. They're pro-birth. They're pro-birth. Then they don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. Otherwise they do something about guns. They're all pro-life! No. They're pro-birth. They're pro-birth. Then they don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. Otherwise, they do something about guns. They're all hypocrites.

All right. Our poor guests that we're about to introduce. I know. So they just have no idea what they're walking into. No, they don't. All right. Listen up, listener, patriots and gay triots. Today, speaking of gay triots, today's guests, we have Broadway's Andrew Chappelle and fitness icon and New York Times

bestselling author, Cody Rigsby, hosts of the brand new podcast, Tactful Pettiness. Pumps, our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated. It's unparalleled. We are the champions. If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in Seattle in September or New York City in November for, you know, just some world-class shit talking. That's right. Live. Live and in person. That's right. Live and in person. That's right. Pumps, sweater weather is over and we're in the full blown sweaty season and that's

why I am breaking out my bombas. My bombas socks are extra long staple cotton and they are the key to feeling light on my feet all summer long. What's also great about bombas is their wonderful t-shirts. They're so comfortable, make airplane rides super comfy. What I like most about Bombas is that for every comfy item you buy, they donated an equally comfy clothing item to someone who really needs it. That's a really nice way to spend your money knowing how philanthropic and helpful Bombas is. Listener, are you ready to get comfy and give back? Head over to bombas.com

slash had it and use the code had it for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B A S dot com slash had it and use the code had it at checkout. You know what I've had it with? What have you had it with? Talking about what men need to do if they get a four-hour erection. I want to start talking about my four-hour nap after sex, but where's my option? I did some homework and it turns out there is a pink pill for women. It's called ADDI and a woman got it approved by the FDA.

In clinical trials, Addi was shown to boost sex drive in certain premenopausal women bothered by low libido. Hell yes! It's prescription and the only FDA approved pink pill. I asked my doctor about it, but you can speak to a telehealth provider online at addy.com. addy.com. Finally, can those be the Super Bowl ads from now on? Addy or phlobancerin is for premenopausal women with acquired generalized hypoactive sexual desire disorder, HSDD, who have not had problems with low sexual desire in the past, who have low sexual desire no matter the type of sexual activity, the

situation, or the sexual partner. The low sexual desire is troubling to them and is not due to a medical or mental health problem, problems in the relationship, or medicine or other drug use. Addie is not for use in men or to enhance sexual performance. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is increased if you drink 1-2 standard alcoholic drinks close in time to your addie dose. Wait at least 2 hours after drinking before taking addie at bedtime. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is also increased if you take certain prescriptions, over-the-counter or herbal medications, or have liver problems. Low blood pressure and fainting can happen when you take Addi, even if you don't drink alcohol or take other medicines. Do not take

if you are allergic to any of the ingredients in Addi. Allergic reactions may include hives, itching, or trouble breathing. Sleepiness, sometimes serious, can occur. Common side effects include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, All right. Let's welcome back to I've Had It, Cody Rigsby, who has partnered with Andrew Chappelle. They are the hosts of a brand new podcast called Tactful Pettiness. Hello guys, how are you? Hello.

Hey, girlies. I feel like it's just us four simple gals, Daniel and I having a nice little sit and chat. That's right. When I was thinking about this morning, Cody, you being on, I was like, I remember how great his body is. Oh, I mean, I'm objectifying. I know that's bad, but I was just thinking he might be the

guess we've ever had with the best body. Okay, listen. Well, thank you so much. And listen, I advocate for objectifying men because it's not done enough. So please do it more. because it's not done enough. So please do it more. Our listener will understand that it's been, I think it's, Kylie is at 2,475 days since Pumps has been late. I thought it was like 7,000 something. And so, you know, there's a constant,

anytime penis comes up or somebody's talking about Cox cable, she immediately starts thinking about Cox. The minute your name came up on the guest list, she's like hot body. Hot body. Wonderful. Yeah. You know, I also thought the same thing because, well, I'm always thinking about Cox. We just went to go see Inside Out 2 this weekend and all I could think about is how hot the

dad is in And I just know something tells me that it's just very weighted. You know, it just it just fits in your hand with a lot of support. Pendulous balls. Big balls. Very big balls. There's something there's something that his nose tells a story because you know there is something that's called dick nose. If the nose is big, usually the private parts follow suit. Yes. Really? I have never heard that.

I've heard big hands, big feet. I hadn't heard the big nose. I've sat been with some guys with big hands that don't have large penises. So do you prefer, I mean, do you prefer it on the big, the small? You know, here's the beauty of being a gay man that is versatile. You know, like if if the guy's not working with, well, then just be a great bottom.

Maybe we can figure it out. We'll figure it out either way. There's a lot of different options. Yeah, for me, it's not so much about the size. It's more about the aesthetic is it doesn't please me to gaze upon it. Yeah, really? If it pleases me to gaze upon, it will also please me to do other it. Yeah. Really? If it pleases me to gaze upon it, it will also please me to do other things to it.

Yeah. That makes sense. See, I haven't given a blowjob in like over 20 years, so it's hard for me to even picture a penis, like in the face type thing. Oh my God. Look at their faces. You gotta get a dick in your face. What is going on over in Oklahoma City?

Oh my God, actually, when I was in Oklahoma City, I had sex with a really hot guy. Really? What's his name? I don't know what his name was. Bisexual by chance. He might've been like in the closet. Ooh. We had sex on his lunch break, actually.

And he was a stallion. Where? Where? At a hotel? Where was the venue? Yeah, he came. He came to my hotel. Was he on Grindr? He was on Grindr. He was, he was working in the building above. I was working out and I could sense,

sometimes on Grindr you can sense that there, there's an urgency to them. And I was like, I feel like this guy wants to meet up like now. And so by the, I feel like this guy wants to meet up like now. And so by the time I finished working out, he was waiting for me in front of my hotel. We go upstairs, he said, oh, I just want to do blow job. And then if it goes well,

then I can come back and we can do more. And it went well and we did it all there in one sitting. Okay. So it was an audition with a blowjob first. He auditioned, you see, maybe you could do this, Pumps. You could audition. Yeah. And we went straight to the callback right then and there.

Yeah. I'm just so jealous of gay men. There's no emotional, we don't have to go out to dinner and make small talk. We can just go, have sex at lunch. Pumps, you can have this. Do around the world. I don't. Pumps you can have this. Do it around the world. I don't even know how you can have this.

You can have this. It's within your control. Yeah. But you know, different strokes, different folks. I would love to do that. Now that's a hookup I would be into. Just a lunchtime, efficient, go in, get out. Okay, what have you guys had it with?

Oh. Let me pull up my list. Yeah, pull up that list. We've got a lot of things that we guys had it with? Oh, let me pull up my list. Pull up that list. We've got a lot of things that we've had it with. I have to say a few things please me than making a list and something that really pleased me even more is a list that I can rant about. We love to complain. There doesn't need to be a manager, but I do want to complain. I just want to complain for no reason.

First thing on the list, and this is something that happened to me just the other week, people who are constantly on their phones, but cannot text back or reply to your Venmo requests. Waiting for the money, babe. Baby, you owe me money. That's bullshit. That's so true. And I see your ass in your phone.

Yeah. What are you doing? Get on it. Here's what I want to get to with this point, because I think it's a really good point. If you text somebody and you really need a response to something and they're not responding to you, but then you get on Instagram and it shows a post that was posted like two minutes ago, and that person has liked it and commented on it. Yet your text message that's 15 minutes old

is sitting there all by itself unattended to. And that just enrages me that somebody would prioritize their Instagram life over responding to a very important text. I need to know what you want from Taco Bell. Can you please respond? Did that already say call the police and send them to prison? Yes, immediately.

It's enough. It's unacceptable. And I will not. I will not be ignored. Okay, the next thing you've had it with, I believe is regarding people getting married. Go off on that. Baby, do you really expect me to get excited about your third or fourth marriage to another person? And we're bringing in a spending money on a gift and maybe going to a location wedding. Maybe I already went to Bora Bora the first time when you said he was the one and that lasted nine months. I want my refund. Actually, I'm sending you a email request

and I need you to reply to it immediately. Yeah, you need to start getting married in backyards. Local only. For me, it's the lack of self-awareness that if you've tried and failed at something three times, that you would continue to invite the exact same people to the fourth attempt. That's like if I'm really, if I really fucking suck at doing a flip off high dive, and I always belly flop, I'm not going to keep inviting people to come watch me do this belly

flop. But the lack of self-awareness with the invitation list is really astounding. Yeah, it really is. Yes. My big I've had it that I'm very passionate about because I take the subway every day to work and then I go to Moynihan station and there's multiple escalators and most of the time I'm in a rush or trying to get there on time and people here in New York City and and it might be the visitors, there's two lanes in the escalator, babe. There's the right side and there's the left side. The right side is for the slow people

that don't wanna walk and move fastly. The left is the fast lane. Why do you hoes have you in the right lane and your bag in the left lane? And you're impeding me from getting to work on time. I've literally had it. Put the bag in front of you and keep it pumping. I've had it.

This speaks to a larger issue. The rules of the road also apply to sidewalks and escalators. We drive on the right side of the road, okay? Move it. Baby, you need to move around. Also, open your eyes. Open your eyes. Attention.

If you get on an escalator and you see a line of people standing on the right side and it's clear on the left why are you putting your potato butt on the left side honey we're trying to get some place I'm trying to get to Dwayne Reed to buy a seven dollar water thank you okay you know this is this is epidemic it is in America but if you go over to move. This is epidemic, it is, in America. But if you go over to London, that shit is so tight. Every single step on the escalator says, keep right, stand left, and they all honor it, and they are all sucked over to the right side

so that people can pass. But in America, it's just fucking free for all. On every step, you're dodging through rollaways, baby seats, all this backpacks, all this shit. It's fucking trench warfare on an escalator in the United States. I've had it. Yeah. And I went to Japan this May, this May, and they are, they are play by the rules. If they were to do this, it would dishonor their entire family.

We need more of that here. We do. There's a lot of things. I just need spatial awareness and like a civil society. You know what I mean? Like everybody, please look where you're going. Yeah. Just, I mean, spatial awareness. How about just self-awareness? I am not invisible. I am not the only person on the sidewalk. I am not the only person on the sidewalk. I am not the only person on the escalator, but you can't find it a lot. You just don't see it. Because also a lot of people, you know, everyone's on their phones. We're all guilty of looking at the phone. However, what is within your control is stepping to the side. If you need to look at Google Maps and you don't know where you are, step out of the way. Go over there. This way. Okay. Because if you, just in case you didn't notice,

people are walking through here, okay? This is an active walkway. And I'm no fire marshal, but I will tell someone to move out of the way. And then think about it, if you're driving a car and you're lost and you don't know what's going on and you have to look at a map or take a minute, you're gonna pull off to the side of the road.

So let's just equate it. Oh my God, wait, remember we went to see assassins? So, we go to a drag show. I call, I make us a reservation. And they're actually very organized at this place in Fire Island, where if you have a reservation, they make sure that everyone on the reservation has a view of the stage. So, then these late ass people that didn't have a reservation come in and they see all this open space in front of our table and they start standing in our way. And so I without hesitation, I went up to every single one. I said, Oh, baby, I'm just going to move you over here real quick. And I would always start it with the baby. Oh, no, I'm going to move you right over here. I moved one man. I counted

seven times. And honestly, it was for his safety because he could have gotten attacked by a drag queens wig, a blam, a dollar's flying into this guy. He could have really lost an eye out there. Right. Right. Yep. God, Andrew, I love that because I'm not scared to do that kind of shit either. I liked that before.

Because it's almost like, oh, they must be lost or confused. You know, it's like you're helping them like, oh, sweetie, where's your mom? You know? Kind of a Southern bless your heart. Oh, oh, sweetie, where's your mom? You know? Oh, babe, this is a Hortonop area. Why did you come on this side of the scan chin? Okay, what about the rules, the unspoken rule about getting on to a subway or getting onto an escalator? The unspoken rules that the smart people follow

and the selfish dumb fucks don't follow. Let's dive into that. It is quite very simple. If you're getting on the subway, stand to the side and let the people get off of the subway so that there is now space to get on the train for you. Correct. There's no space for your ass on there when everybody's still on there. that there is now space to get on the train for you. Correct.

There's no space for your ass on there when everybody's still on there. And these greedy hoes that run on quickly because they can grab a seat. Like, damn bitch, first come first serve. Yeah, I just don't like the elbow culture of it all. You know what I mean? Like, just chill, just wait.

Unless you're quite literally disabled or with child. I'll happily actually give up my seat. Yeah. You walk down here into this horrible rat-infested basement transportation area. I think you can stand for the five minutes to get to 72nd Street. What about the elevator when you're waiting for an elevator and the doors open and the person next to you steamrolls into the elevator before that people get off? I think it's the rudest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. Stand to the side. Like when I walk, I have my dog and you know, I have to walk the dog, you know, constantly

so she doesn't shit in my house and whenever we are in the lobby waiting to go back up to the apartment and I know what elevator because it goes ding I go to the elevator and I stand to the side I don't stand in the front of the crease of the doors because chances are there's going to be some homeowners that are coming out trying to hit the streets right and that will also take the dog part just a little further. Oh boy. If your dog is in a public vicinity, get your dog. Get your dog. Get your animal.

Why is your dog on that fully leash? Why is your dog 10 feet away from you in a coffee shop? Get your dog. Please get your dog. I don't want to pet your dog. I don't think your dog is cute. I don't want to get to know your dog. I don't want to pet your dog. I don't think your dog is cute I don't I don't want to get to know your dog. I don't want to know where you bought him I don't know. I don't want to know what three days just take care of your dog

Get it next to you, please. Yes, unless we made like a pre-existing reservation to have a dog date I'm not chopping it the bit to meet the animal. Okay, is it true or have I just seen this on? Instagram that you can only take your dog on the subway in New, is it true or have I just seen this on Instagram that you can only take your dog on the subway in New York if it's in a bag? Okay, so they've actually relaxed on this quite a bit. You would know. Yeah, this used to be a rule that they actively enforced.

And since I moved back to New York last year and I noticed a lot of dogs just like out, you know, rod dogging it on the subway without a bag. And I think now how they're just getting away with it is everyone's just saying it's a service animal because, you know, like you can't really the girl challenge that the girls really go heavy on a service animal. That's not a service animal. I don't know what the I don't know how you get that officially

signed off, but people are really overdoing that. Well, it's like I've been a Ronald Reagan thing where, like, you know, he made it so, you know, people cannot ask you. It's, you know, because imagine if you really did need the dog and you had a disability, you would want to be like, well, I've got this thing that's wrong with me. Like, they figured out a way to do it. I will say this as a dog owner who also writes a subway. I don't want my dog on the nasty subway floor. I don't want my dog with the crap needles and the fucking heroin spoon. OK, I want my dog in the bag so that when she arrives in her destination,

she's fresh and ready to be greeted by our public. Does she write in the bag on the subway? She loves being in her bag. It's her little home away from home. She gets in on her own volition, all four legs. She has a whole thing that she does when she gets in there. Pumps, I'm thinking we should start an I it, pickleball tennis line, merch, what say you?

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Oh my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay. I had it or hit it.

People who are getting a cold all the time. Had it. Had it. Stay home. Go to sleep. Drink your drink your waters. Have your vitamins. Stop going out.

Stop staying out late. Eat something healthy. Blow your nose. This common cold is a little too common in your life. It's like a bitch. They always losing their wallet. Really? I am.

I literally asked where my wallet is about three times. I know you know where it is. You have been like lost at law. I have an idea, but like, it's my take me a while. I think, I think what Andrew's talking about, because I had this friend probably about 10 years ago and we'd all go to lunch and everybody would say, we'll just divide it equally at the end. And everybody's had mimosas, everybody's ordered shit and it never failed every single

time. And we're talking more than 10 times. Every single time she'd open the wallet and go, oh my God, I forgot my credit card. Oh my God. I left my credit card at the dry cleaners. It was a consistent pattern of making other people

pay for her. Uninvited. Venmo request. This was pre-venom. This was in the modern world. Yeah. Yeah. No, it got to where nobody wanted to get a lunch with her.

Duh. Uninvited. Nobody want to go. Because as I famously said, we're running up the bill and we're having a good time. All right, had it or hit it the Olympics. Hit it, hit it, hit it and hit a lot of them. and hit a lot of them and shit. Oh yeah. I mean, hit them, hit on them, hit all around them. They hit it.

The entire team, the men's gymnastics team. Yeah. Got their bodies. And also the Ukrainian gymnastics team. Oh, I didn't see them. And also Great Britain gymnastics. I didn't see that. Yes, baby.

Oh wow. What about the swimmers, Andrew? Oh yeah, I gotta give this to that kid. Very hot. I was at dinner with my mom and we were kind of like at a sports bar kind of place and they had the Olympics on and she said, I really there was like some Italian man with like white hair and she was like she he's so hot.

And I was like, yeah, you're right, mom. He is very hot. They actually something that they don't actually tell the people of the world is that you actually have to be hot to qualify for the Olympics. It's a hard bet. Yeah. Yeah. I noticed that. I noticed on Instagram this morning, this guy's going viral and he's a French diver, like

high dive. And I'm telling you, the package in his little panties is quite impressive. So when we get off our podcast episode here, why don't you do a little goog, French, Olympian diver. I will definitely do my homework on that one. We will. And actually, I have a girlfriend who hasn't sucked a dick in 20 years. So I don't know if he's got a good package.

Maybe she can hop on a flight over there. Delta is a sponsor. VHL Olympics. VHL Olympics. The winner of the package waiting for you. Uh huh. Uh huh. Okay, had it or hid it, loud chewers. Had it.

Had it. What is wrong with you? You were made wrong. I shouldn't be able to hear the food crunching in your mouth with your mouth closed. I blame the parents. I blame the parents because this is coming from the childhood.

If you're not telling your kids when they're out at a restaurant or at the dinner table in your home, honey, you're chewing loud and it's obnoxious, gross and disgusting. Can you please shut your mouth while you're chewing? Oh my God, especially if the room is quiet

or you're like eating next to a coworker. And there have been people like, they are actually chewing with their mouth closed and I can still hear that noise Chomping if you have any loud chewer friends, you need to speak up Here's what they it's as if they're there fly was unzipped or there's something on their face I agree that a booger stop letting it just sit there. That's right Say something if you see something say something worry

What we want to do is we think it would just be helpful to have people like the four of us that wear a little referee jersey out in public. They have a little whistle and a clipboard and a little siren. Okay. So like for example, you could be positioned in the subway and you see somebody trying to be lying on before other people get off. You sound your siren, blow your whistle and immediately write them a social citation. Dissolution. Yeah, immediately. These can also segue over to fashion citations just while you're at it. If you're feeling doubly ambitious, if you see somebody whose outfit is a complete catastrophe,

just go ahead and handle that as well. And the same thing goes for a loud chewer. Like your restaurant, maybe the four of us are at dinner and we notice, we hear somebody four tables over. Put your rev shirt on, get your whistle out, blow it and just immediately write a ticket. I think what you have just described is the pitch for our reality show that we're gonna do together. Can't wait. That would actually be really fast.

It really would be. That would be hilarious. Okay, had it or hit it, fire Island. Hit it. Hit it. And we have been hitting it a little bit too much. How many times have each of you been laid at fire Island? How many tricks at fire Island per person?

Maybe I literally would not tell you the number. The limit does't matter. The limit doesn't matter. I don't care. I lost count from the first five hours I got off the ferry and was there on a Friday night. So who knows, babe? I love that.

Okay, last one. Had it or hit it, Kamala Harris. Oh, hit it, baby. Hit it. I just fell out of a coconut tree. My mom is very, very excited about the Kamala Harris campaign and come up. How exciting to have a presidential candidate that was just on

RuPaul's Drag Race doesn't shy away from being an ally that advocates. Start the marriages immediately, as she said. I know, I love that clip. Well, versus whatever it was. Yeah, I think it's just exactly what we needed. I felt like, you know, it was time for Biden to pass the torch. And I feel like we needed new excitement in our party because our ideas are correct. Standing with the LGBTQ community is of utmost importance because what y'all are wanting is not more, you want the same. You want equal. And to be able to articulate that and I love, I think it's just, I think it's time for a boss bitch to be in charge. I'm just, I'm so ready for a president. I think it's time for a boss bitch to be in charge. I agree. I'm so ready for it.

Absolutely. And also for women's rights. There are so many issues that need to be addressed. And so I think the thing that was almost emotional for me to see was the influx of excitement about the race when she jumped in. All of a sudden I'm getting text messages. There's emails. We're organizing. We're excited about this.

And we did not have that before he stepped to the side. Honestly, he needed to step to the side. That's right. Active walkway. Thank you. That's so he's got to the side. Thank you, sir. Yeah. OK. Where can our what are your Instagram handles personally? Oh, here you go. He needs to change this. Andrew needs to change his his Instagram name. It is complicated. And so mine is at Cody Rigsby my name. Go ahead. Go ahead. Andrew. My Instagram is at a C H

a PP. No, good. H a W K. And what does that say? a chap hawk. Explain it to the listeners. A-C-H-A-P-P-H-A-W-K. And what does that say? A-Chap Hawk. Please allow me to explain it to the listeners. A for Andrew, Chap for Chappelle, Hawk, because my Native American name is Hawk Run, and A-Chap Hawk has been my name since my AOL Instant Messenger.

And that's why you say A-Chap. If I were still using my A well, I would be embarrassed. I think it's so cute and nostalgic, but here's the thing. I'm willing to change the name, but I tried on Instagram and Instagram says you have to contact support to change it. Okay, send an email, bitch. And that's tackle petty. No, that's right. Illustration right there.

Thank you guys so much. Bye guys. Thank you. Bye loves. I love gay men much. Bye guys, thank you. Bye loves. I love gay men. God, I love gay men. I just love, love, love. And I know I'm bad at Instagram, but I kinda like his AOL name, A-Chat-Pawk.

I like that it's his Native American name. I kinda into it. I wanna take my Frenchies and just go to Fire Island for the summer. I want to go have a, you know, people want to go to Italy and have an Eat, Pray, Love summer. I want to go have a gay, gay, gay summer.

Oh my gosh, that would be great. We're just gay men. I would love it. Yeah. That sounds perfect, doesn't it? I know. I bet there's some gays that play pickleball out there. Some gay triads.

It would be a gay triad summer. Gay triad summer. Gaytriot summer? Yeah. This time next year, you're going to be an empty nestler like me. That's right. We can fire island it up. Totally.

We'll just get a little, like maybe it's when you come out of the closet. Could be. Because one thing's for sure, if you go to Fire Island for the summer, you're not getting laid by a dick. Probably true. Probably true.

All right, listener, we are heading to Seattle in September and to New York City in November. So click our link in bio to buy tickets for our tour, to see Pumps, meet Kurt and Meemaw, America's greatest legal mind in person in Seattle or New York. Pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both.