I've Had It - Rock, Paper, Scissor Me

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

When it comes to being a psychotic pet owner, Brian Tyler Cohen takes the cake. NEW TOUR DATES ANNOUNCED! For more I've Had It + tour updates, merch and more at linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Thank you to our sponsors: Chewy: Right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to Chewy dot com slash hadit. Minimum purchase required. New customers only. Terms and conditions apply. See site for complete details. OneSkin: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code Hadit at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod SKIMS: Shop the SKIMS Soft Lounge Collection at SKIMS.com. Now available in sizes XXS - 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "I've Had It" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. Viator: Download the Viator app now to use code VIATOR10 for 10% off your first booking in the app. Find travel experiences for you. Do more with Viator. eHarmony: Give eharmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz, so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eharmony – Get Who Gets You! Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guest: Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen

Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever, you can get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps.

Pumps, what does an eagle say? Cacaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it, that's, that's, Cacaw! That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. So we're supposed to start.

Ready? One, two, three. patriots, gay triads, and they triads, welcome to I've Had It podcast, a place to share petty grievances with smart people. I'm Jennifer and I'm accompanied by America's Greatest Legal Mind. I'm Angie. We call her Pumps, as well as meme on meat curtains. You can see a previous episode for details regarding that moniker. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is my notification on your Apple Watch that says stand. Two times in the last week, I was standing on my feet and it says you need to stand. And I'm like, I fucking am standing. And then I'll stand for a little bit and then I'll sit down and it'll say, you need to stand. I'm like, I can't take

it anymore. I don't know how to stop the standing. I mean, the Apple Watch shames you all the time. Like it said the other day, your exercise is down. And I was like, did you really have to bring that up? I know it's down. Did you need to tell me it was down to make me feel worse about it? But this stand thing, I've had it. These Apple watches are incredibly judgmental. They are judgmental and bossy. Incredibly bossy. And I've had the same thing happen before where I'm standing in line maybe to check out at a register to order a meal. and I get an alert on my watch and I look down and it says, please stand. So then I kind of start like moving my hand around. I look, I mean, I start moving it around to

send it a signal because again, we have a very dysfunctional relationship with our Apple watches and I don't want to disappoint the watch. Absolutely not. I hate the watch, but I also love the watch. But it does. I mean, there's something about Apple's trolling of their customers, which is pretty interesting because you get this alert on Sundays. Your screen time is up 400%. It's where it was last week.

I'm like, well, no shit, Apple. That's because the entire presidential race has been turned upside down and I am injecting this shit into my veins. Quit being an asshole. Right. You know, like maybe it could, they could send an alert that says, your screen time is up. We attribute this to Joe Biden leaving the race and the entire country coalescing around

Kamala Harris. Or maybe add, you're not the only one who screen times up. Everybody's screen time has been up lately with the change in presidential candidates on the Democratic side. But it's straight shaming. Just straight shaming. It's top tier trolling and it's personal. Yeah.

And I feel attacked a lot of the time. But here's the situation. I am a masochist and my watch and my phone are the sadist in this S&M relationship because I rarely go anywhere without my Apple watch nor my iPhone. So they have me hook, line, and sinker to all of the racket that is Apple. Well, it's one of those situations where if you wanted to solve this problem, Angie, don't wear your Apple watch.

Just wear a normal watch. You could solve this problem. I could solve this problem. It's an easy fix. But do you think I'm gonna do that? No. Who would you be mad at? Who would I be mad at all the time? What would you talk about on this podcast? What would I talk about? And when I look at this watch and be like,

you motherfucker, stop it. It just gives me somebody to chew out. Yeah. All right. So let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it when I asked Google a question like, what is the premiere date for blank series that I'm wanting? You know, let's say it's Handmade Tell or Emily in Paris. And I'm asking Google a direct question. And then I find an article and it was like, and it will say for all information on Handmade Tell, premiere date and about the latest season, click here. Then you click into the article,

and it's paragraph after paragraph after paragraph after paragraph until you finally get the information you need. They have buried the lead. You don't get a simple answer. I want to be able to type into Google, when does the new season of Emily in Paris drop? It's a stupid show, I know, but sometimes I

like to watch stupid shit as a palate cleanser. Right. You know, from all the politics and all this podcasting and all this shit. And I asked Google the other day, and I got sucked into about a 15 minute read. And it went through all of the seasons, and I'm scrolling and I'm scrolling,

and I didn't find the answer that I needed until the end. I've had that happen before, where you're literally like, did I hit the wrong button? Like, I've gone back. Like, did I accidentally hit the wrong line to go into this? But I do, it's a bait and switch. Sometimes you even have to go another link before you get, and it'll say release

date of Emily in Paris. You click the link, you don't get it. Or you read, read, read, read, read. Or you get drawn into this ridiculous slideshow where then you start clicking and then each time you click to try to advance to the information you want, where the arrow is moves, and then you get roped into where you've clicked on some ad, then a new screen pops up. I mean, it's just trench warfare, trying to get an answer questioned,

trying to get a question answered on the internet. Yeah, I've had that same thing with the ads too, man. I mean, I've gone deep into really stupid ads, like Chia Pet ads or something. Really, Chia Pets? Yeah. Trump has the Chia Pet. Are you serious? I mean, it could have been a joke. I have a great idea. I think this could make you... I know where this is going. Millions of dollars. Don't say it. The Husky... I knew that's where it was going. The Mimam meat curtain, Siberian husky, Chia pet. And then they could teach like a little class

about how to groom it properly. Like proper trimming of the Chia pet. Yeah, kind of like a cross between a Chia pet and a bonsai tree. You see those people that have bonsai trees that really like manicure and they take such attention to detail. I'd like to bring those two worlds together and you be the brand in the face of it. Actually you're husky.

Right. A little nude modeling on my part. I think I tell you what. I mean, I just knew the minute that came out of my mouth, like why did I say Chiapet? Yeah. I just left myself open for this. I just fucking walked right into it. Follow up question about the Trump Chiapet. Is it his face and his come on come over? I can't remember. That's been a while. I want to say it was his hair. So it must have been his face. It's his hair. The Trump hair Chiapet. I mean, it's a cult.

It's a fucking cult. Yeah. His hair, after you get, I mean, it's on the list of the top 100 grossest things about him, but I'd say it's in the top 10. I mean, there's a hundred things you could say are gross about him, but that's in the top 10, his hair. Oh, it's just horrible. Come over to lax. It's absolutely horrible hair, horrible hair. And I just I just know that when he gets in the shower and he comes out, it's like bald here. And the come over probably goes to his shoulder. Oh, yeah. How fucking gross is that? And then he twirls it around. He twirls it around, he's blow drying it. Here's something I wanna say. Here's a second I've had it.

I've had it with men like Donald Trump and they say all of this stuff and Bill Maher is one of them, that they oppose all this gender affirming care. So if you oppose gender affirming care, quit testosterone right quit taking Viagra and you just let that shit go Right because all of that is gender affirming care. That's just a little aside I also think since Donald Trump sits around and picks on everybody's appearance that he needs to go all on natural Let's see what it looks like. Let's see a normal

haircut, quit pitting dye on it and quit putting Cheeto dust on your face and calling it makeup. Let's just see what, let's be authentic. If you're going to be the candidate for the Republicans three election cycles in a row, let's just, let's just see, you know, you know, the real Trump, the roll it out. Let's just see, you know, the real Trump. Roll it out. Let's see it. Especially since he is everybody's nitpick appearance person. I will say, I'm just going to say this, I do not understand how someone that purports to be a billionaire does not have his makeup and skin color makeup done professionally. I can't understand why somebody that purports to be a billionaire doesn't hire a tailor to fit his suits properly.

I can't understand why somebody who purports to be a billionaire is constantly coming up with grifting scams and begging people for money. And he says he's, he doesn't have to do this. He's doing it to save America. Well, then use your own money. Use your own fucking money. Why are you grifting all these people out in middle America selling Chia pets and your weird Bibles and those gold weird gold shoes? Yeah. Melania's got that triple nut sack necklace, you know, that she's grifting. The whole family's grift city. Uh huh.

Yeah. Grift, grift, grift. All right, Kylie, what's going on on the World Wide Web? I've got some five star reviews for you. Oh, good. This one is titled Chicken Soup for the Hater's Soul. It's a good one. She writes, the relatable petty hate and laughter brought me here.

Then I listened to Patriots and Gaytriots, a symbol. I will never leave. That was the fire I needed in my soul. Sent that episode to my best friend who said she was crying within the first five minutes. We're in a small town full of fake triots driving around with Trump One stickers and we've had it. Thank you. I tell you what. Wow, Trump one stickers. The Trump one thing. I probably told this story before, but I'm going to tell it again. It's time for a circle back. So when my youngest son graduated from eighth grade, there was a trip and I know it's ridiculous.

I've had it with eighth grade graduation. It was stupid, but you know, I'm a team player. So it was middle school graduation and there was a trip to that place in Florida, Seaside. So the moms and all the kids go and you kind of drive golf carts around there. And as I'm driving down, I think the highway is called 30A. There's like a three story house with like porches that wrap around it on 30A. And there's this vertical banner from the top balcony of the third floor that perfectly hits down to the ground. And it says Trump 1 vertically going down. And

I started doing the calculations on that as an interior designer. I know that, you know, measuring things and ordering things properly is very important when you're having something custom made. So I started thinking about, there were some people sitting around and they thought, I got a rock solid idea. Here's what I think we do. We make a banner and we hang it on the side of our house because we get all these tourists down here in 38

and it says Trump won. And the responder didn't say, that's nutty. That seems kind of culty. He actually lost. They go, oh my God, that's a great idea. Where do you think we should put it? Well, let's put it on this side so it's seen more. I'll tell you what, I'll go get the tape measure. They measured it. They went online or they went to a sign shop. They had it custom made. Size of the letters. They did the mathematics. Nobody talked to anybody off the ledge of this advertisement that the people that live in this home are bat shit crazy bananas, ape shit, cuckoo for Cocoa Puff, Delulu.

Well, but you know the great thing about that? Anybody that comes out of that building, you don't have to get a read on them, because you've got it immediately. I mean, that's just next level. You can just skip all the steps of, are they a good guy, are they a bad guy, are they smart, are they charming? You just know, walking out the door, nutball, check. For as crazy and unhinged as you and I are.

Which listener is, I mean, it's right out there to compete with the best of them. Together lately, I'd say the first five, six years of our friendship, nobody was really talking anybody off the ledge. But then we grew and evolved. And y'all are getting the best version of us here on I've Had It podcast. When you come up with some bad shit idea, or I do, we talk each other off the ledge. Yeah, that's a terrible idea.

Yeah, that would have never happened in the early days of our friendship. All right, Kylie, who's next? All right, Jorie B. writes a five-star review titled, Birds of a Feather Hate Together. She writes, Finally, I found other middle-aged women who find the world and people who inhabit it just as infuriating as I do. Just last week at dinner, I had an acquaintance greet me, double cheek kissing me and saying,

Hello, pretty lady. Girl, you were born and raised in the Midwest. Let's not cosplay being some sort of European debutante. All of a sudden, I've had it. I will say I've noticed younger people like because my daughter does that and I'm always just like, where does this come from? She does the euro greeting. She does the euro greeting. The kiss kiss. Yeah, it must be kind of a thing with her age group, but yeah, she'll do the kiss kiss and I'm just, I never do it back,

because I don't know we're doing the double kiss. I do it in Europe when I'm- Well, right, because that's what they do. Right, when I see my friends there, but when we're here, I don't, and as a couple episodes ago, we established, like if we're on hug status, I'll hug you. If not, it's a warm hello.

Yeah. I put that to the test this weekend. I saw a lot of people that I hadn't seen in a while and the people that I had affection for. You hugged. I hugged. People that I was, eh, or lower, it was just, hi. So you're a discerning hugger.

I didn't realize that about myself. Yes. You're a discerning hugger, which means that realize that about myself. Yes, you're a discerning hugger, which means that the people you hug, it's more authentic. Right. It's a more authentic hug instead of something that's performative. Yeah, I did notice that about myself.

It's funny, because now that it's in my stream of conscience. Consciousness. Consciousness. Consciousness. Stream of conscience. Consciousness. Consciousness. Stream of consciousness? Consciousness. Consciousness. Stream of consciousness. God damn it, listener. Memaw is having a mini stroke.

All right, go on, Memaw. What's your excuse? You interrupting me. Consciousness. Stream of conscious. Stream of conscious. Consciousness. I became more aware of it.

How's that sound? Now that I'm more aware of it, I'm noticing different indexes for Hux. You know what? Go to the top Apple charts and see if their hosts are able to deliver this type of high quality content on every platform. Because that's what Mima just did for you listener. Mima what do eagles say? Okay, listener, today we have an amazing guest that we're incredibly excited about. As you know, Pumps and I are diehard political junkies and we traffic quite a bit

in algorithms where people talk about politics non-stop, me-maw more so than me. But one of the guys in this algorithm that is absolutely top tier and top notch is our new friend, Brian Tyler Cohen. For those of you that don't know, Brian Tyler Cohen is a progressive political YouTuber with six million followers across all platforms. He was the first creator to interview President Biden, and he's the author of an upcoming book called Shameless with the forward written by Congressman Jamie Raskin. Love Jamie Raskin. I know he's great. All right.

Let's welcome to I've Had It, Brian Tyler Cohen. Pumps, our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated. It's unparalleled. We are the champions. If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in Seattle in September or New York City in November for, you know, just some world-class shit talking. That's right. Live. Live and in person. That's right.

Pops, we have our upcoming trip to Chicago. And as we both know, I am the travel agent in our friendship. And I have a little secret to share with you. My travel dreams are so easy and come true when I use Viator. Well, you've put me onto that. And when I took my kids on a trip, I had to call with a question about some tickets. What's so nice about Viator is they have 24-7 live person help. Listener, Viator is a tool you can use and book travel experiences around the world. Their app and website make it easy to explore 300,000 plus travel experiences so you can discover what's out there no matter where you're traveling and what you're interested in. Download the Viator app

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Chewy has all the brands that my pets love at the prices that I love. Food, treats, beds, you name it, they have it, and it gets shipped directly to my front door in one to two days. And not just for dogs and cats, but they also have stuff for birds, fish, reptiles, and more. To keep them healthy, Chewy offers pet prescriptions, pet insurance, telehealth vet visits, and is even rolling out vet clinics across the country. The more you know. Listener, Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to chewy.com slash had it. That's

Chewy.com slash had it to save $20 on your first order with free shipping. Chewy.com slash had it. Minimum purchase required, new customers only, terms and conditions apply. Please see site for complete details. for complete details. Okay, let's welcome to I've Had It, one of our algorithm crushes, Brian Tyler Cohen. Brian, how are you today? I'm doing well. It's a good day. So, Pumps and I have a hilarious story to share with you. So, we met you in Los Angeles at an event and Pumps and I were sitting there and all of these big podcasters start walking in. You walk in and she's like, Oh my God, it's Brian

Tyler Hillen. And then the Pod Save America guys walk in and she's like, Oh my God, it's Pod Save America people. Oh my God, it's been my say list. And we're sitting at this table by ourselves. And you're sitting with all of the Cricket Media Pod Save America people. And y'all are all giggling, knee slapping, having a great time. And Pomp starts unraveling. She goes, that's the cool kid table and we're at the dork table. We were at the dork table. It's not that.

We were just, but L the lunch table. It's not that. We were just, Love It probably said something. So it's only fun if Love It's there and the rest of us are just trying to, you know, just hanging on for dear life. Just living in a toxic stew that is democratic politics. So then Pimp says, we need to get Brian Tyler Cohen on the podcast. And I said, okay, go ask him. She goes, rock, paper, scissor me for it. So we're sitting at this fundraiser where Barack Obama had just been in the room, sitting at the dork table, the two middle-aged ladies,

and we start playing a game of rock, paper, scissors to find out who's going to go ask you to be on this dynamo of a podcast. So we're rock, paper, scissoring. And I win. So then Pumps gets up to go and then you and your girlfriend like spin around and sit down and you started eating. So Pumps just makes this dramatic U-turn and comes back. She goes, he's eating. Let's wait. And finally, I just couldn't take it anymore. And I go, fuck it, Pumps, I'll go do it. So I get up and we go over and we introduce ourselves to you. And now here we are making podcasting history.

I know I'm super excited. Yeah, well, I'm glad I'm glad you did. And and very much looking forward to this year. OK, Brian, we like to we like politics, but we also like to traffic and petty grievances, and I'm sure you have many. So tell us what you've had it with. Well my first one is the complete breakdown of our ability to do physical activities after

the age of 25. And yeah, that's my first one. It's hit me like a ton of bricks. Also the fact that I sit in front of a computer all day, but hit me like a ton of bricks. Also the fact that I sit in front of a computer all day, but hit me like a ton of bricks, the fact that I have no more ability to do anything physical. And that's exacerbated by the fact

that I'm watching the Olympics every single night and watching these, you know, 19, 20, 21 year old kids who are just able to do things that would actually kill me at this point. Yeah, I was telling somebody the other day, I couldn't get up and walk across the balance beam and not fall off to save my life. Like if it was death or stay on the beam, it would be death because it's so unbelievable. And then you think, oh yeah, I bet I could do that.

You can't do any of that shit. It's crazy. On my 26th birthday, I remember being in the shower in the morning and trying to wash my hair and I got a stiff neck because I washed my hair too rough. And meanwhile, these kids are just falling from 30 feet up and just popping right back up. And my day consists of, if I can get up off of my computer

for even just a few minutes, then it's been a physical success. Well, I like to call Pumps meemaw because she's older than I am. And so I think I'm gonna start calling you Pawpaw because you guys are wussies. I play tennis. I play pickleball. I am thriving as an athlete. It's just unbelievable. I am a specimen of athletic activity.

You're just a peak of physical fitness. Totally. Yeah. I mean, not to rub that in, but I feel like I'm in the tip-top shape of my life. Well, you know what? I will happily live vicariously through you as the most physical activity I get is seeing how hard I can scroll Twitter these days. How fast. The main thing that I've really enjoyed about the Olympics, I would say, is the pole vaulting. There was some fantastic footage of a French pole vaulter that absolutely went viral on gay Twitter. And I couldn't stop watching. I couldn't

stop watching either. I was just like, Oh, my gosh, is he single was my first thought. pumps hasn't been laid in about 2475 days. So anytime penis comes up, it's just all hell breaks loose on this podcast. Mom immediately starts looking up tickets to France. That's right. I'm like, okay, French pole vaulter training. Here I go. Sitting outside the training facility like in Marseille or Lyon. Okay, Brian, the next thing that you had emailed us about pertain to dogs. What's going on with your grievance with dogs? Oh man, okay.

So this is a big one for me and I need to get over the fact, and I don't think I ever will that my dog will not live forever and not live as long as me, and that they only live like 15 to 20 years if we're lucky. And I just, I have my dog laying there and he's totally fine and alive. And I'm sitting there pre-grieving him because I'm so distraught at the prospect of losing this dog. And again, he's fine, he's alive.

Like he's doing perfectly well. We go on walks all day long. And still I just, I am so, I am sometimes like, sometimes to almost the point of tears at the prospect of losing this dog one day. And that's, there's no, it's not on the horizon or anything like that, but just the prospect of it already doesn't allow me to, you know me to function like a normal human being.

Also I'm Jewish and Jews. We already are level for grief and anxiety at default is high. And so that doesn't help things along either. I, everybody in this room can relate to that because we are all psychotic dog nuts. I believe JD Vance would call us childless cat ladies. 100%. Exactly. Exactly. And it's just, it's so devastating when you think about your dog dying because they just, I like my dogs better than I do my kids. And my kids will say to me often, my sons will say, mom, do you like

the dogs better than you do us? And I'm like, you're goddamn right. I do. They are consistent. They're always happy to see me. They always want to do what I want to do. Like I'm going to love you your whole life. I've got 10, 12 years with these French Bulldogs. I have to triple love them to be able for that to amateurize over all the love I'm giving you. And they're a lot more pleasant consistently to be around than your ass. And the boys agree.

I mean, they agree that the dogs are more lovable than they are. Those are facts. Okay, so Brian, I have a puppy that turned, just turned six months last week. We were out in the backyard one day last week. And I just thought, I have a puppy that turned, just turned six months last week. We were out in the backyard one day last week and I just thought, I cannot imagine my life without this dog.

I mean, what's my life gonna look like in a decade without this dog? I mean, just fucking ridiculous. Makes no sense. I bring my dog, here's how much of a lunatic I am. I bring my dog to the vet every three months for a full blood test and ultrasound because my goal in life is to make sure

that this dog never dies. You're a pet owner hypo. You're a pet owner hypochondriac. To the nth degree. You just do a proactive checkup. I haven't been to the doctor since like 2019 and I'm just like whatever happens happens you know when it's my time I'm out and meanwhile this dog I know I know his AST level, his ALT, cholesterol, I know everything we've done we've done full ultrasounds every nine

days for the last five years and And we will continue to do that. So here's my other advice for new pet owners, including yourself, get puppy insurance. That's the other advice that I have. Because it is not a cheap endeavor. No, it's not cheap. I mean, that's fantastic. It's goals is what that is.

You're making me feel like an inadequate pet owner right now. This is the one area where I'm perfectly content to, you know, kind of lean into my pet owner bona fides here. It's one thing where I will proceed with no humility. I will do whatever I need to do to keep this thing alive as long as possible. Let's give a visual to our listener. What's the dog's name and breed? Oh, he is, his name is Aston,

and he is a 13 year old, it's like 17 pound Chihuahua. So a big Chihuahua. We know he's got a clean bill of health and a completely psychotic hypochondriac pet owner dad, Paw Paw that doesn't like to exercise. He's been out of shape since he was 25. Any of my free time exercising, any of my free time that would have gone to exercising instead, making sure that this this dog is getting slept to the doctor's

office. Yeah, you're at the vet. OK, Brian, let's segue over to petty political grievances. And these are one of our favorite areas to traffic in. And you emailed with us about the imaginary war on Christmas. And this is one of my favorite things on the planet. In all honesty, it's like a testament to just the inane bullshit that were served on an annual basis by Republicans who love nothing more than to traffic in culture war issues. That's what the war on Christmas is. It is the ultimate straw man. It's Republicans getting mad about something that doesn't exist. They've decided

apropos of nothing that Jesus Christ himself needs to be featured on these Starbucks cups, these like coffee cups, and the fact that that he's not featured on these coffee cups is somehow a testament to this notion that we are engaged in this war against Christianity in this country. And so, you know, and it just and it goes, it's a parody of itself at this point, but somehow because there is no shame on the right, they continue on an annual basis. And every year in November, we get to hear about the same thing, about how, you know, the fact that Starbucks cups are red

and littered with Christmas imagery and look like Santa Claus himself threw up on these cups, apparently still not enough, and the war rages on. Yeah, I die laughing when Trump is kind of glitching, and at the very end he'll be like, and I brought back Christmas. I brought back Christmas.

And I'm like, motherfucker, that never went anywhere. Christmas won. Christmas never went anywhere. Christmas is a trillion dollar industry. It has completely dominated. I'm an atheist and I put up two Christmas trees in my house. It defeated me. I celebrate, I have my house lit up like an intercontinental ballistic missile from the outside.

It's unbelievable how much Christmas won me over. And I don't even believe in any of that bullshit, but it won and it just cracks me up. We live in Oklahoma City in a red state. And so sometimes I'll be like out shopping and I'll see somebody that I casually know. And then they like get really aggressive. I'm like, bye, I hope you have a great Christmas.

And she said, Merry Christmas. You know, I believe in saying Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays. Oh, Becky, you fucking you go girl. You're saving Christmas. Becky saved Christmas. Pumps, we're not spring chickens anymore. And the days of waking up and looking in the mirror and not seeing any wrinkles are past us. So I've been searching the market for something that can help treat the root causes of this and not just the symptoms and I'm proud to announce I have found my product in OneSkin. I absolutely love OneSkin because it really makes a difference on my dry and dull skin. What

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they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. You know, Pumps, I had this problem where when I decided that I was just going to commit to binge watching a show and I wanted to be in comfortable lounge wear. I would put on pajamas and then I would think, oh my gosh, I've run out of bottled water. I need to run to the store to grab some. I'd have to change clothes from my pajamas to lounge wear.

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now available in sizes XXS to 4X. And if you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select I've had it in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Listener for this episode of I've had it, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with.

Our listener knows that we're unapologetically ourselves and don't feel like we need to pretend to be anything else. That's probably why y'all listen to our podcast. You stay true to yourselves and have had it with pretending to be someone you're not. That's especially true when you're out there on the dating apps. Pumps, what's going on out there on the dating apps?

It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps. And what I love about eHarmony is it's real people for real relationships. You heard her listener. That's why we've partnered with eHarmony because dating on eHarmony is different. eHarmony knows that to find something real, you have to keep it real. You can't be out here trying to be some fantasy Instagram version of yourself. eHarmony is designed to help you bring out your personality on your profile with their unique personality test. They even highlight similarities with your potential matches. And that's when the

magic happens when you form genuine connections and authenticity leads to intimacy. Listener, give eHarmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eHarmony, get who gets you. Let's talk a little bit about the current election and how for me, Pumps and I were talking about this before we came on. It is so nice to see the Democrats unbloodied going into this election. When I think back to 08, we had Hillary Obama in the primary and then we had Bernie and

Hillary. And now we have a person who has come out, every big Democratic surrogate governor, senator, congressperson has completely coalesced around. She announces walls, everybody has coalesced around. And really everybody is coalescing around a very progressive message. And I think the Dems are finally, this political cycle, going to take the case for progressive values as a moral way to live to the American public. Finally, because here I am living in this red state, and I'm always mystified by the moral duplicity of a lot of Christian Republicans. They only vote one way and it is for their taxes and their taxes alone and that is

it. They don't give a shit about marginalized people, they don't give a shit about the education system. It is that single issue component, yet they go to church 24-7, 365 and probably throw in some mild tongue talking here and there because we live in like Bible Belt City. But I think finally if we have two progressive leaders that make the case that we are progressive for moral reasons, we feel a moral calling to advocate for marginalized people and that everybody is on equal footing in this country, I think that messaging is going to be very dynamic, especially juxtaposed to Trumpism. 100%.

And I know that there are people who are going to try to exploit this as like being too progressive. But I would ask you what part of the agenda that Kamala Harris and Tim Walz and the rest of the Democratic Party that are rallying behind this agenda right now, what part of this is too extreme or too communist, Marxist, radical when we're talking about making sure that, for example, with Tim Walz, making sure that kids have lunches or making sure that women have access to reproductive rights in this country or making sure that climate change is combated so that we have a habitable planet to live on or making sure that we have access to healthcare or making sure that kids can go to school without having to worry about being mowed down by guns.

I mean, none of this is extreme in the sense that the foil to these are Republicans who are just trying to strip all these rights away for the first time in American history. So I think whether you're left, right, or center, a lot of these issues enjoy the vast majority of support in this country. None of that agenda is extreme. It is not only not extreme, but it's popular for the vast majority of Americans left, right, and center. And I would argue that the radical approach to this election is coming from the right. We see what happens when MAGA

policies happen in a red state. You can look no further to Oklahoma to see what happens. We have a MAGA governor, a MAGA state Senate, a MAGA state house, a MAGA Supreme Court, everybody's MAGA. And you look at how Oklahoma ranks in everything, it's not good. And we are already in full blown Christian nationalism in this state because our school superintendent just mandated that the 10 commandments be in every classroom. And so I think a lot of people can get on the coasts and they get very nuanced about their liberalism and start criticizing progressive causes. And I'm like, well, it's easy for you to be a liberal. All you have to do is go outside and breathe Los Angeles air, Manhattan air.

When you're here, you're really fighting for basic things like separation of church and state, like privacy at your OBGYN appointment. Like you want to go get a pap smear and talk to your gynecologist about an IUD or IVF. And they're trying to take that away. So you really see what this radical MAGA policies do in red states like ours. And if you look at our state rankings, it's not good. Right. You would think that maybe a little less time worried focusing on how to proselytize kids and stick the Ten Commandments in their classrooms, and a little bit more time focusing on making sure that you're not failing these kids in their own

schools because the test results in states like that really don't reflect well, especially when someone's job, for example, as the superintendent is to make sure that these kids aren't failing out and that's not what's happening right now. So instead of engaging in these culture wars to serve as a distraction so that people don't recognize that you're not doing your job, maybe just make sure you're doing the job and not failing these kids. Okay, Brian, now we're going to play a game with you called Had It or Hit It. Oh my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day.

Okay, had it or hit it, JD Vance. Oh, had it. JD Vance. But JD Vance, honestly, JD Vance is, there is a part of me that views JD Vance as a gift to Democrats because he's so bad. He's so bad. JD Vance brings nothing to the ticket, but Trump felt okay to do that because he figured I'm going up against Joe Biden anyway and this thing's a wrap. But now with Kamala Harris and

then Tim Waltz, who vastly expand the map for Democrats, and in fact, Tim Waltz brings even more than Kamala Harris herself does because he has that Midwestern appeal to Kamala Harris's, you know, San Francisco background. He is a farmer, he has a military background, so he does offer a permission structure to different kinds of voters who may not otherwise want to vote for a San Francisco liberal to then feel like they're represented in the political process. So in both senses, with both Kamala Harris herself, who's completely redrawn the map from where Joe Biden was, to then the addition of Tim Walz doubly shows how much of a disaster this JD Vance pick was. And that's before we even get into the abject weirdness of this guy. This guy has no Riz. This guy has no X factor. He's awkward

and he's an extremist. And he had to wipe things off of his website that say that he advocated for the ending of all abortion in an election in 2024 where the last two elections have been a referendum on abortion rights being stripped away. I don't know that you could have picked a worse choice than J.D. Vance. All right. Had it or hit it, no show socks. Oh, hit it. I'm okay with this. Here's what the kids don't understand. And this is gonna be me, this is gonna be the beginning of my war against Gen Z. We all chose No-Show socks because our parents weren't cool

and they had socks that showed. And so that's why we took up No-Show socks. So this notion that all of a sudden we're the old ones because we have no-show socks ignores the fact that we did it initially because we were being cool and our parents weren't being cool and so they don't get to pretend that all of a sudden we're the uncool ones when the whole point of no-show socks is that we're the cool foil to our uncool parents. Absolutely. I agree and I like a no-show sock. I like a no-show sock too. Gen Z, they're just coming out like we

are get bullied by Millennials. We're Gen Xers and now Gen Zers. So I mean just wait till the new generation comes up. Then you have two generations of people bullying you and reminding you how uncool you are. When Gen Alpha comes up and they start doing no-show socks to revolt against Gen Z, then we'll see how Gen Z feels. Okay. Had it or hit it, electoral college. Oh, had it.

The electoral college is a relic of like the Jim Crow past. We need one person, one vote in this country, and actually it's also good for Republicans because you have more Republicans in the state of California than most other states in this country. And all of those people's voices are being silenced as well by virtue of just the strict adherence to the Electoral College. But still, I mean, this whole process is so egregiously anti-democratic.

It's so tilted in Republicans' favor. And the fact that Democrats have to win the popular vote by two, three, four percent to even have a chance at winning the electoral college is a testament to just how anti-democratic that whole process is. So, had it the Electoral College. Totally agree. You know what pisses me off? The Republicans are always talking about affirmative action and DEI and all of this stuff. Oh yeah, there's no more. The Electoral College is total skirting the system for Republicans. They would never win. They say that they are the silent majority. They are a fever pitch minority. I know, you know, everybody knows that the majority of us are center to center left.

And I'm saying all 330 million of us. I think we are a center left country when it comes down to issue to issue. And I have lived in this red state and voted in this red state. I have my family here. I have wonderful friends here that are very progressive. And it is just so depressing. I vote every single election. But then immediately, Brian, immediately when the polls close, the second they close at seven, it's Oklahoma's red. And I'm just like, motherfucker. I mean, could you have at least like given me 15 to 20 minutes to wrestle with this?

We're not asking for an hour. Motherfucker. I mean, could you have at least like given me 15 to 20 minutes to wrestle? We're not asking for an hour. Yeah. Okay. This is our last one. And starting about three weeks ago, I told Kylie, our producer, that every guest that we have on the very last question of had it or hit it, I'm doing a roll call. And so this is going to be up until the election. This is always going to be the very last, had it or hit it. Had it or hit it, Kamala Harris. Oh, hit it.

She's killing it right now. She, I could not, I could not have asked for a better rollout to this campaign. The way that she's positioned herself, prosecutor versus felon, already that framing unto itself. I mean, we're talking about somebody who's defended the rule of law, defended the Constitution, put con men and frauds and cheats and sexual perverts in prison for the crimes that they've committed versus a guy who himself has just been found guilty of 34 criminal counts and liable for sexual assault and defamation and liable for fraud to the tune of half a billion dollars. That framing unto

itself is already enough. And then you add in the fact that she is a champion for reproductive rights and has been crisscrossing the country for the better part of a year talking to young people about exactly this issue while Trump is walking around and giving himself pats on the back for appointing a third of the Supreme Court that would then go on to overturn Roe. Like, you couldn't have asked for a better person in this race, and she's able to really effectively prosecute this case and lean in. She knows what she's doing.

She's also found Donald Trump's weakness in hitting him for the fact that he is too afraid to show up and debate her. And for someone like Donald Trump, who derives so much of his identity from this idea that he's a strong man, to then hear not only a Democrat, not only a woman, but a woman of color go out there and just destroy him on this idea that far from being a strong man, he's actually too scared to get on the debate stage and go head to head with her, is just a testament to the fact that she's got his number in this race and just looking forward to what the next 90 days holds.

I love it. I agree. All right. Tell our listeners you have a new book that's coming out. Tell us about your book. So my book is called Shameless. It basically talks about how Republicans have, for a long time, laid these plans that they're now seeing come to fruition.

For example, we have Roger Ailes' memo that would eventually turn into Fox News. You look at someone like Richard Nixon, for example, who was completely abandoned by the Republican Party after Watergate and had to resign. Then you look at what happened now with this right-wing media ecosystem that gives Republicans so much cover to not just do something as bad as what Nixon did, but something exponentially worse with January 6 and trying to overturn a free and fair election. And far from excommunicating Trump from the party, they've now renominated him to become their nominee again for a third time. And that is the direct result of the fact that he has so much

cover with Fox News. There's also the fact result of the fact that he has so much cover with Fox News. There's also the fact that we have something that was called Project Red Map that started in about 2010 where Republicans began to gerrymander the state legislatures and how that's coming to fruition now in terms of how that's been helping them and remain, retain control of Congress for so long. So a lot of these Republican plans were, the puzzle pieces were laid early on, sometimes

as long as decades ago, and we're seeing those bear out right now. And so kind of exposing what those are, how the media has been a willful participant in a lot of the Republicans' anti-democratic efforts. And finally, the last part is what Democrats can do to rebalance the scales right now and stop pretending that we have no agency in all of this when we absolutely do. So the foreword was written by Jamie Raskin, and the book includes interviews with Pete Buttigieg and Jen Psaki and Mark Elias and Al Franken and Jamie Raskin also. So very proud of the way that it turned out. And tell our listener where they can find you.

We are big fans of your YouTube and you also have a podcast, correct? Yes, yes. So anywhere on all the sites, it's just at Brian Teller Cohen, whether it's Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook and threads. I mean, dear God, the amount of social media sites

that I have to be on on a daily basis. But my main platform is YouTube. So if you're looking for me anywhere, then it's gonna be on YouTube at Brian Tyler Cohen. Brian, thank you so much for joining us. It's been a real treat that we finally get to sit down at the Cool Kids table with you. We've got a little bit cooler today.

Are you going to the DNC? I am going to the DNC. So are you? Yes. We'll see you there. We will see you at the DNC. Yes. Looking forward to it.

I can't wait. I'll see you there. Thank you so much for having me today. Thanks for taking the time, Brian. Bye. Brian Tyler Cohen is fantastic. He's so smart. He's so smart.

He's just a lovely human. Completely lovely human. And I just will never forget how ridiculous we were playing rock, paper, scissor, but it worked. It worked. And he was immediately gracious. And he was a wonderful guest. Wonderful guest. All right. Listen up. Patriots, Gatriots, and They-triots. Caca!

There you go. At first I was like, what? Let's try that again. Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and vaitriots. Cacaw! We will be at the DNC, so follow along on our podcast, on our YouTube, on all of our social media channels. We're going to be interviewing surrogates, covering the convention. We are so

excited to cover this historic nomination of Kamala Harris to be president of the United States. Maybe we can see Brian Tyler Cohen and do like a little TikTok or something. Oh, it's 100% happening. Yeah. I don't know about doing a TikTok. Rock, paper, scissors talk. But it's gonna be rock, paper, scissors. Yeah. All right. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. you