I've Had It - The Gayest Eagle

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

Your cute little matching family photo sessions aren't fooling us OR our listeners. NEW TOUR DATES ANNOUNCED! For more I've Had It + tour updates, merch and more at linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Thank you to our sponsors: Lumen: If you want to take the next step in improving your health, go to https://lumen.me/HADIT to get 15% off your Lumen. SonoBello: Save big during our friends and family - fall savings event. Schedule your free consultation now at https://sonobello.com/hadit Quince: Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high-quality closet essentials. Go to https://Quince.com/hadit for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.eharmony: Give eharmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz, so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eharmony – Get Who Gets You! Follow Us:  I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest

legal mind, Pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Cacaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it. That's, that's, Cacaw! That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.

So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Welcome. Welcome to I've Had It podcast, home of America's legal eagle, America's greatest legal mind. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. How are you today, Pumps? You know what? I just am great.

I'm just great. Look fabulous, of course. Let's do this. Hello, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. Caw-caw! There we go. I kind of scared you a little bit. Yeah, there was about a one to two second delay.

Yeah. I would have seen if you were paying attention. Let's try it again. Welcome, Patriots, Gatriots, and Natriots. Cacaw! There we go. That's what America means. A robust cacaw.

From the legal eagle. From America's legal eagle. That really cracks me up. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is when you're signing up for an account and they give you a password suggestion, and the password suggestion is like 35 characters and numbers that make no fucking sense. There's no way in the history of the world, even if I wrote it down, that I would get

it right. And you have to do like two or three steps to not get the suggested password. And then they argue with you about your password. Well, this password's too easy. Well, you need a more complicated password. It's like I'm barely getting by with a password. Like I have the same password everything. I can't remember it all the time.

Like it's stored in my phone. It's stored on my computer. I screwed up about half the time. So I've just leave me alone on my password. Quit shaming me for my password. Quit suggesting an impossible password because I cannot use it. I just it bugs the fuck out of me. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you something because somebody's gonna have to tell you. They suggest those passwords because then the next step if you accept it is your phone will save it and store it

so that then each time you go in, it's just their eye initially kind of struggled with this thing because I like to use passwords about things or human beings that I'm fond of it's just kind of a way that makes me happy but you know the hacking and all of that is a problem so now the Apple the cloud people that live up in the clouds right they store all these crazy passwords for us and then it just automatically loads it. I know that and that would be great, but what if I'm on my computer?

You got to sync them all up. It's all the same cloud. The computer, the phone, the watch, all have the exact same cloud and the same raindrops drop out of it. Okay, but here's another thing. So when my kids call me and they're like, hey, what's the Hulu password? If I've used their fucked up password, I don't have a clue. I mean, half the time I don't have a clue anyway, but I'm just saying like-

That's a good point. I mean, it's just like, I get that on my phone I could do it, but it has to travel. And we all know that I barely get by with the password situation when I know what it is. I know what your password is. It's been the same since... For 30 years.

It's just, it's not hard. So yeah, the password, I just had that happen to me and I just thought, fuck off, quit shaming me about my password. Yeah, no, and it's difficult to want to unravel out of it to do your own password. No, they don't make it easy. They really want you to use their password. Computers, watches and phones have gotten really, really bossy. There's an extra layer of bossiness where they are really bossing us around. Like you're going to use this, but on our terms, and it doesn't get to be on your terms anymore.

The I guess it's the the robots are. You know, challenging as I continue to fail miserably. The please identify the crosswalks. And we've talked about it on the podcast multiple times the other day. I went through, I think, seven different rounds. Because I think I overthink. I overthink it all the time. I'm like, well, right down here on this corner,

there's a little bit, there's a little bit of a crosswalk there, so I'm going to go ahead and exit. And then, no. And then if it's like, do the stop signs, but then there's a stop light. I'm like, do you put the light in? Because it's a, you know what I mean? I can just out think the shit out of it,

which helped me immensely on the LSAT, but doesn't help me when I'm trying to prove I'm not a robot. You hear that? Legal eagle, the LSAT. All right, so let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. I've had it with, recently, I've seen these online

and I think they just, they need to end once and for all. And these are highly choreographed family photos wherein all of the family members are wearing matching outfits. Particularly I saw one recently where the whole family was on vacation and they had on khaki pants like the mom and the daughter had on khaki shorts or a skirt and then they had on white Oxford shirts with the sleeves rolled up with the collar kind of messy and they were all kind of holding hands walking down

the beach and I just here's what I think when I see that photo. I don't think, oh my God, what a darling family. And that's what the mother who organized that thing, that's the intended take that she wants the viewer to have. Here's what I think. At some point, when she planned this vacation, she thought, I'm gonna hire a photographer on the beach. And then she went to all of these different stores

to make sure everybody had matching outfits. And then you got this husband who's been suckered into this thing, and these kids that have to wear these outfits. And you have to do it during golden hour. So you're either doing it super early or super late so you can get the good light right and she's got her whole family dolled up for this one shot and I don't even think about the shot because it's so highly choreographed and highly

produced that I think about all the fuckery that went in before the photo before the plane ever took off to get to that beach At the hotel telling everybody who's enjoying their vacation that they have an appointment right a photo shoot right and how miserable that is and Then everybody's bitching moaning finally it ends and then she's harassing that photographer to get the proofs And then she's going through all, honey, look at this. Nobody gives a shit except for her. And then she finally gets to the coveted time

where it can be posted on the worldwide web. And then of course all the comments are sweet because not everybody's an asshole like you or I are. And even, you know, it's like, Oh my God, darling family photo. But I've just kind of had it with the, um, choreography behind. Look at this perfect happy family. Yeah, I get that. I will say for all the reasons you stated, for me, the white and khaki or black and jean or whatever it is, because my experience with family photos is bad. Every time I've ever taken a family photo, I hated my kids.

My kids hated me. It was hostile the entire time. Right. That's why that's what I see when I see that photograph photo. I see how hostile it is. I see the hostility. Yes. I see the war, the trench warfare that went on behind that photo.

And I want to say, listen up, sis, I know you're trotting this thing out on Instagram and on Facebook and on TikTok. Like look at this idyllic American family and how choreographed and coordinated we are. But I'm not buying it. I know that there was a lot of fuckery that went on behind the scenes to pull that off. That's the footage I want. That's what I want to see. There's no question I'd enjoy it more if they said, here's our perfect family photo. You would not believe the shit I had to go through to get it. But see the outfit thing, here's our perfect family photo. You would not believe the shit I had to go through to get it. But see the outfit thing, that's like it takes it out of the equation. Like I don't have to fight

with Emily. I don't have to fight with Sam. I don't have to fight with Luke. Everybody's fucking wearing this. Did you make everybody? No, I've never done that. But when I see that, I think, you know, she took that one problem off her plate. I think it's more problems. It's more problems because then the kid's going to be like, this is dorky. I don't want to wear it. I would never pick this out for myself. Right. You've got that. But then you have the clash.

I just, I guess I just have PTSD from family photos. I mean, I just think they're hard. The expectation that you're going to roll in with three kids and nail a family photo without anger, frustration, and even tears. It's just, it's unattainable. That does not exist. Rolling in, everybody's happy. We get five smiles.

Oh my gosh, those are great shots. I mean, I've had kids fall in lakes before. I've had kids broke a clavicle before. Like everything about a photo to me is trauma because it's miserable. Josh, when he was really, really photographing a lot, he would get our poor kids, our two sons, and he would get them dressed up super cute. I mean, really cute. And he would bribe them. Like, I will take you to go. They like to collect these little Mario and Luigi plushies because they were really into all the Super Mario stuff. He's like, if you will go to the photo shoot with me. And he would, the boys were his subject. Then I'll take you and I'll buy you new plushies. And so they would do it. We have these darling photos.

But I remember one time we were on this trip and traveling with Josh when he was at like peak photographer mode, it was impossible to get from point A to point B because he had to make 20 stops to photograph some random thing that he wanted it to look super artsy. I'll never forget, we were in Paris and I'd had it.

And we had just like cut through the area by the Louvre and I'm walking fast and I just want to get back to the hotel. It's hot and I can't find him and the kids are like, mom where's dad? Where's dad? And I turn around and I am just like mad and I turn around and I look at him and I go, Josh, hurry up. And he's like across the street. And he just pick us up the camera and aims it right at me as I'm yelling at him and just click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. So we have this series of photographs where I'm like, come on, you're taking forever. And I'm just like, so we get back to the hotel and of course he downloads.

And those were the those were the ones that he wanted most. Well yeah. Where he got me being angry because we have the photos where we kind of stopped along the way but those are the best. Those are the best ones. Me, Ash chewing him are the best ones. The best ones. He's like, here's the sheriff series right here.

She's passing me around. All right. I guess I already welcomed everyone to I've had it at the top of the hour. Yeah. And not here. But this is the time of the podcast where we kick it to Kathy. Kathy, how are you today? I'm good. Thanks for asking. You're welcome. I'm glad you're doing well. Do you have any anything on the internet that needs to be brought to our attention? I do have a couple of reviews that need to be read. This one is a five-star review titled Patriots and Gaytriots. And it says, whenever Pumps goes, ca-ca, I think to myself,

that's the gayest eagle I've ever heard. Yes. That's exactly what I'm going for. It's a gay. We have a gay eagle here at I've had it podcast. We sure do. All right. This one's five stars from a little bit Lily titled a thought. I think a lesbian experience would fix both of them.

But then the podcast wouldn't be nearly as entertaining. So never change ladies. Would fix. That's one of my favorite reviews in a while. I like it. Yeah. I think it'll fix them. I think I'll probably probably take a lot more than that. But I like where she's headed. I do. I do. I like it. A lesbian experience would fix both of them. But don't get fixed because then you wouldn't be the train wrecks that you are every Tuesday and Thursday.

I do like that. That's one of my favorites. I do too. It's fixed. Excellent. Pumps, our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated. It's unparalleled. We are the champions. If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in New York City in November

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Kathy, what are we going to talk about this episode? What do you have in store for our listener? We have some top notch voice memos today. Yes. My favorite. I love the voice memos. I do too. All right. Up first, we've got Colton.

Hey, Maria Sharapova, Pickleball, and Princess Diana of podcasting. All right. Let's fucking cut to the chase. I have fucking habit with man spreaders. All right. And let me tell you this. I am a man with a larger than average penis. And yet every time I'm sitting on the train, I'm sitting on a fucking plane, I'm always sat next to a man spreader who's spreading his legs wider than when pump sees us on walking the fucking room. Well, they all know he's just packing a little smokey. All right, fucking Professor Teeny Weeny of MicroDick University.

I fucking had it. Anyways, onward Christian soldiers or whatever. Wait, I mean, hold on, Pumps, real quick. Do you have to spread your legs for the meemaw meat curtains? I don't think you do. All right. Toodles. That's your soulmate. Colton, I want to marry you. What was it? The micro penis of no, wait, it was teeny we of Micro Penis University. That's fantastic. That's an A plus. Oh my God.

Do I have to spread for the main curtains? That's fantastic. I love it. You know, the little smokey, he threw in little smokey. Little smokey. You know, that was fantastic. Josh Welch, man spreads. Does he?

Or he crosses. It's one of the two. He's either full-blown spread eagle like you, the legal eagle, or he crosses his legs. This is one thing he does that bugs the shit out of me. Just one. This drives me fucking crazy. So we'll be at some restaurant that's small on the inside. And he decides, where the tables are close together, and he decides, and he's six foot three, okay? He decided that he'll decide that he needs to cross his legs at the table.

Because his legs are so long, that means his chair's back about 10 to 12 inches more than what it would normally be. And so then the waiters and other diners are bumping around him and when they bump into him, he acts like they're the problem. Right. I've seen it. Not realizing that he's the problem. And sometimes I just want to say, uncross your legs and push your fucking chair up. But then I just don't want to get into it.

There's so many things in a relationship where it's like, do I pick this? Or do I just let him sit there in asshole isolation? And then I just kind of look at the waitress and I'm like, sorry. Yeah. Yeah. No, I've seen him do that. Yeah. I have seen him do that. I do remember, I don't know if anybody will remember, but Jennifer and Josh won a pickleball tournament at one point. Oh.

And they had to call an emergency meeting to tell everyone they were the championship at this pickleball tournament. So Josh was sitting in this chair, and he had on shorty shorts, and he was doing the man spreading. Nobody on planet earth noticed that it looked like he didn't have on shorts.

He had a stage five meltdown. He stalked Kylie, he stalked you. He was rolling in through the office because he was mad about how it looked like he didn't have on anything but panties. It looked like he had on panties and of course all the Gaiterites on YouTube. Fucking loved it.

In the comments section, look at Josh manspreading. Is Josh wearing panties? Why does Josh not have on pants? And of course, Josh goes and reads every comment. Of course he does. Completely unravels. And then comes up here talking to us about it. Did I look like that?

Right. What do you think? And we're like, who cares? Get over it. You wouldn't believe all the shit that's said about us day in, day out on the internet. Can't worry about it. Oh, that was great. God, that was a great video. Yeah, it was great. I particularly enjoyed it. Yeah, it was. It was for a audience of one. Yes, for me. That's correct. Okay, this I just I'm not I have to bring it up because he's talking about

the man spreading. Think about that pole vaulter from France when he has to sit. I'll tell you what that was impressive. If you're going to go viral for something as a man, I would think that because your dick is so big, yeah, would be like one of the top reasons you would want to go viral. One million percent. Let me ask you this, considering you're such a size queen, how many times did you watch the pole vault? I probably watched it probably five or six times because then I had to tell people about

it and then I had to show people. You know what I mean? Right. But when I first saw it, I was just like, what? Were you impressed? I was so impressed. I was impressed. I would imagine a size queen like yourself, seeing some hot French guy roll that out at the Olympics

might have been probably right up there with, you know, Team USA winning a gold medal. Right. No, it was. That was the gold medal for him. Oh, yeah. And clearly for you too. Five or six times in a row. Five or six times, yeah. Running around gossiping about it around town. Like, oh my God, did you see this? Just a little gossip over there. But I will say, every person I showed it to was like, oh my God. It was impressive. Yeah. Yeah, that's the gold standard for a man.

If you want to go viral, that's what you want to go viral for. Yeah. I agree. All right, Kylie, who's next? All right, up next we've got Bobby. Duh-dah! Hi, guys.

Lately, I've had it with being a patriot, because nobody understands me. Um, the other day I was watching TikToks comparing the RNC to the DNC and I was just fucking laughing and then I don't know where I went because you know being a patriot, well, I guess, a gaytriot and my husband was like, are you okay? And I'm just like, you don't understand. I just love Kamala so much. Anyway, love you guys both just as much as Pumps loves Kakaak! You know what I love? You know what I love? What? We're getting more unhinged about our patriotism and it's spreading. Penises, our

listeners are getting more unhinged. It's like it's just a movement. It really is. No, I fucking love that. I fucking love that. And you do, you get so excited, caught up in the enthusiasm with all the common momentum. Like I feel more patriotic. I mean, we, I think it was our idea. They're trying, I mean, the DNC is trying to take credit for it, but I agree. It's our idea. I think we're taking it back. You don't get to have it.

Yep. It's not yours. Yep. Belongs to all of us and you all tried to overthrow it. Fuck off. It's ours. Kaka! You know what we could do? You know that video that you referred to earlier where Josh and I were smug as fuck where Josh was wearing his panties during the YouTube video of our pickleball victory lap tour. We could do a really petty timeline episode of the first time we said that we were going to take the flag back.

Right. And then we mentioned it and how much time elapsed until they made that announcement at the DNC. And we're we're supporters. We're glad to provide, you know, scrambled jets for people to, because we're all on the same team. I do think that the only thing that would make it a little bit better if they would have said, we're reclaiming the flag, we're reclaiming patriotism. And thank you, Angie and Jennifer, if I've had a podcast, for being the inspiration for

this movement. I mean, they don't have to. I'm not all about credit. It's fine. Right, right. It just would have been a nice touch. It would have been a nice touch. Let me tell you what I think would have been.

Here's my only note to the showrunners and producers of the DNC. This is my only note. It would have been a really nice touch if you would have had some real eagles in the corners. Maybe six to seven eagles that did a Cirque du Soleil style like scrambled jet and you could hear them going, ca-ca-ca! You know, and then like, you know, like maybe they're throwing like live fish at them to eat, you know.

I just, I think that was the one missing component. Other than that, it is 10 out of 10. But I think if you wanted to be at 12 out of 10, there was a huge oversight and not having alive eagles fly around at the United Center. The only thing about that, which I'm all in on, is there would have been eagle shit somewhere.

No, I think these could have been potty trained eagles. Okay, okay. If they're gonna be fine. They're Democrats. They're Democrats. They're civilized. Okay, I have a funny story about this. Okay, so when we started our YouTube show, we had to get new pictures. For whatever reason, Jennifer and I are in this sonic drive-through and she says, I know what we need for this picture. And I was like, what? And she's like, a live eagle. Call to see if there's a sanctuary where we can get a live eagle. And in my head, I'm thinking, how's that going to work? But I'm a dutiful soldier. You are. So I start calling and I'm just like, so halfway

through it's like the ledge, it was kind of like, you think we can really do a picture with the live eagle? I mean they are live birds, you know, and I called the zoo, nobody called me back, but that's not here nor there, but I mean that's how committed we are to the eagle. I'm just saying, I still would like to do a photo shoot. With an eagle? Yes, and what you do is you have these bird handlers, people that handle birds, and you put this big leather type glove on, and these birds can be trained.

They're not stupid, all right, which is why we've taken it back. And I do think they could have been like, you know, Beyonce no-showed, it would have been like, you know, Beyonce no showed, it would have been fabulous to have a Cirque du Soleil eagle performance. But it really would have been since the DNC dropped the ball on that and copied all of our other ideas. We can take that over the finish line. And you and I in here, we could have we could do a whole podcast with just an eagle sitting, you know, like on our arm. And you know how they kind of go? Yeah, we could just sit here. I could have two and then every now and then I

could go, we could do a little live sync like, kaka, kaka, kaka. You're gonna have to do it like with I mean, those Eagles need a more I mean, like you have to be an eagle. Yeah. You have to be a legal eagle. I'm a legal eagle. All right, it's devolved. Who's next? Okay, up next, Jen, with your Hat It, I think you and Nicholas are twin flames.

Ooh. Hi, my name is Nicholas and I am from Hampton, Virginia. And I just wanted to say that I've fucking had it with family TikTok pages. Like I'm so tired of seeing you and your daughter and your son and your fucking miserable looking husband wearing all the same color, just walking around doing life shit.

Like I don't care what you're eating. I don't care what your kid does at school. I don't care where you shop. I don't care what you bought at Target. I really don't give a shit about any of it I really just don't want to see your kids Thanks Okay, I mean here's the deal he is a hundred percent spot-on When did people think that doing a normal activity?

Like buying a cup of coffee or drinking it was worthy of producing a clip to post it on the internet. I don't know because there is nothing more boring than somebody's coffee, somebody's food, somebody's kids. Somebody's, oh, somebody's kids. Well, let's face it, let's just rip the band-aid off, alright? Nobody gives a shit about your kids, but you and their family and their extended family, the grandparents. Nobody. Nobody fucking cares at all. I mean, and this just has got to be said and said over and over and over again.

Having kids is not a novel, new, innovative, nor unique thing that our species is doing. Quit bragging about it. Right. You're not the first person to ever do it. You're not the last person. There is nothing special about your kid except to you. They're all pretty much the same. You love them because they're yours, but the same. You love them because they're yours, but the entire population of the world could give two fucks. Let me ask you this. On the family that Nicholas talks about. Like they do it all together.

The TikTok family. You got the dorky dad, the mom that's the choreographer, and then the kids. Okay? And they're all in on it. Thick as thieves doing this shit. Who do you hate more, the parents or the kids? Parents, 100%. Yeah. 100% the parents. Absolutely. Because the kids... Splitting hairs for me. You think? I know the kids are innocent. I know they are. And I know that they're basically like experiencing Stockholm syndrome via their parents. I get it. I mean, but I kind of there's the whole splitting hairs. Like I just I don't like other people's kids that much as a default setting. And then I I don't like the parents. But then it's like

the kid is part of the DNA of both of them. So I could go either way. Yeah. I just think what it boils down to at the end of the day, all of the kids, I can't stand it's because of their parents. That's true. I mean, it's always because the parents are insufferable. And so you just, you hate the kid by proxy. Yeah.

And the kid didn't do anything wrong. It's not the kid's fault. Some kids are assholes. No, a lot of kids are assholes. But I'm just saying like there are perfectly normal kids that I hate because I think their parents are inseparable. Yeah. And there are some really good kids that I like and I can't stand their parents.

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with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eHarmony, get who gets you. All right, Kylie, who's next? All right, up next we've got Kayla. Good morning. My name is Kayla and I live in Washington and my I've had it is with all the fucking titty babies in your comment section.

And let me tell you why. So something that I have noticed across all social media platforms is that the people who get the most upset and offended are the ones who don't have profile pictures of themselves. I pointed this out and of course I offended McKinley's mom, but you know that's fine. Having an opinion is like having an asshole. We all fucking have them. Having an opinion is like having an asshole. We all fucking have them Some are bleached summer unbleached. That's fine. We can respect each other

But Jesus Christ, everybody needs to just calm down Chill out. It's not that deep Maybe you need something deep to just fucking relax. But oh my god Just chill Have a nice day. Okay. Love you and the Frenchies. Bye. Oh, no, the comment section after the DNC. I mean, it was magnificently unhinged and it's you have the, you know, the basic Trump 2024 and then you have this is these are the funny people. Give me your top two reasons as why you support Kamala Harris. I'm going to be like, that's exactly where you go to

get voting advice is the Instagram comment section. You dip shit. And then you have the people that I have no clue where they've been. I have literally no idea where these people have been the last two years. But they say, you guys are liberals? I'm out, bye. Where have you been? This was hilarious. I saw one and this was the I've had it page.

Not Jennifer Welch, not yours, not Jennifer Welch Designs, my interior design page. Somebody commented on I've had it. You're a Democrat? I only follow this page for interior design tips. Unfollowing. Bye. See? Okay, here's the thing. Here's what I hate about this. There is a tendency for people that are not in the Maga cult to perceive those in the

Maga cult as low IQ. And then they reveal themselves. And the only thing you can think is not real smart. Not super smart. Not super smart. And it's not like on purpose, you think that. It's because of their staff. Well, and there's a toxicity level to it and an entitled level to it.

Like you see, we talk about this a lot, but you see the titty baby white women that feel like we're somehow traitors. And they feel like we should curate our content for them. Everything else in their life has been tailor-made for them. So why aren't we making our podcast for them? Because they think we're funny when we talk about our daily grievances that aren't political. But I think it's important to point out that all of these women that end up not liking our podcast, they get uncomfortable because we call out their problematic, duplicitous views on homosexuality, on minorities, the

way they vote, et cetera. And it makes them very uncomfortable. And white women in particular, not all, there's a lot of fucking awesome white women talking about the trolls on Instagram. They think that the world should be curated for them. And in many regards, it has been their whole lives. And so when they see women like us, and we don't think the same way they do, the audacity and the arrogance to come to the comment section and tell us, number one, we're going to give a shit that you unfollowed, like, right, could give two shits. You look like the asshole in the comment section to everybody, you know, except for the Maga cult.

But it's, I agree with her. I kind of have had it with the commenters, but I also get a big kick out of it. Yeah, there's a part of me that's like... I get it. Pumps and I both get a big kick out of it that something we say riles people up that much that they're sitting there with their thumbs and their keyboard courage, firing off all this crazy shit and they're putting it in writing on the internet where everybody can see it.

Right. I mean, that to me is just an interesting dynamic of social media. I'm stupid and I want everybody else to know exactly how I'm stupid and I'm going to triple down on my stupidity by fighting with complete strangers in the comment section on Instagram. Yeah. No, I don't understand it, but there's a part of me that likes it. I do too.

I mean, that's just because I'm fucked up. And I like it that they think that we're so hurt that they think we would give a fuck. When they unfollowed that's like, oh my gosh. God, Becky just unfollowed us. Becky, come back. Please come back. Okay, but I do. I'm going to break your heart. I do do that on True Social. Yep. Okay. Listen up, listener. I'd get on there.

Pumps has been getting on True Social. We've got to burn our account on True Social because we've got to keep our eyes on Trump because we have this other podcast, IHIP News, where we talk about politics. Because that's what Pumps and I are most interested in and talk about all the time, whether we're filming a podcast or not. We're both diehard news junkies and political junkies.

So Kathy sets up a true social and she gives Pumps the login password, Pumps downloads true social. She sat on the sofa in my office here at the recording studio, entertained for hours on end. She was unproductive. She didn't prepare any content for the episode. She's over there fighting with, you know, Patriot, hard on, cock four three.

I've got a big dick because I'm an alpha male, 22. She's over there fighting with all the alpha males in between all the Ivermectin ads. Right. And all that fucking shit he's schlepping. Yeah. But no, I do. I mean, because I just talk about advertising how dumb you are. It's just unbelievable.

And her responses on True Social, you guys, are hilarious. She gets legal eagle breaks out and some of her responses. Kathy, do you have any of them where she's responded that you can do a dramatic reading for? Okay, yeah, I've got one right here. Someone named Elizabeth posted on True Social saying, Trump won. And our burner account responded, that is a complete lie. Said lie was disproven 61 times in court. Shame on you for undermining democracy

in service of a mentally unstable sociopath. Said lie. Do you hear that? democracy in service of a mentally unstable sociopath. Sedley. Do you hear that? You hear that, listener? You hear that legal eagle? We got to get those eagles live in studio. And you know what you could do? You could live stream fighting wood trumpers on true social with an eagle sitting on your soldier shoulder. with an eagle sitting on your soldier shoulder. Cuckoo, cuckoo! That would be great. I mean, that would be fabulous. She's just getting her hands on an eagle.

It's not as easy as you might think, as I try. Said lie. That is a complete lie. 61 times in court. I can't help it. It just, because it doesn't, it doesn't take a whole lot, but it just reminds me of all the cult. You know, I've studied a lot of cults in my documentary. Oh, I know.

You're basically a cult. You're basically the country's leading expert on cults. I agree with that. So it's like on purpose, they tell you do not Google stuff in these cults. And people don't. They don't Google the truth. And it's like, they have internet, but they don't get on it. And so I'm just like, just do a light Google, just a slight, just a light. A little goog. Just a slight goog.

And it's just like, they won't do it. They will not do it. And her dun dun dun dun dun dun. America's Legal Eagle takes to her burner count on true social to educate the rubes. And I do get a lot of, you won't even show your face. You don't even have any followers. You know what I think you should respond to that. You know what, Kylie, we need to add an eagle as her avatar.

Should I change our username to LegalEagle69? No. I don't want them to know that. These people are crazy. We're talking about it on our podcast right now for our one listener. Yeah, but they're so deep in the rabbit hole. These people, they're just not smart. You heard it. There you have it. You heard it there from America's Legal Eagle and America's

premier expert on cult-like behavior. Yes. All right. Let's do our last caller of the day. Kylie, who is it? Our last caller is going to be Sam. Hello to Jennifer and Pumptina Aguilera. I like that. I have fucking had it with people saying, what do you mean?

Like, what the fuck do you mean? What do I mean? Exactly what I said. That's why I fucking said it. I will lay out the most eloquent, most perfectly worded sentence or idea or demand or question or anything. And if you come at me with the, what do you mean bullshit, it either means you want me to explain myself again because you weren't listening or because you're just a fucking

dumb ass. Right. So I fucking had it. So let me ask you this. Okay. What do you think he means by that? I mean, we can start with stupid questions and just go down. Here's the thing.

This happens to me and there's nothing that I want to say more than, especially if it's in writing and I get the same questions I've already answered in the detailed memo slash email slash text that I sent and then you ask question after question it's already been answered I want to say can you fucking read see above but you can't say that to people because then you're the asshole it's like who's the asshole you're the asshole but I think it I think he's right I think it's they're not paying attention. I also think it's a defense mechanism.

You can say to somebody, I don't appreciate the way that you just spoke to me or I asked you to do XYZ and you didn't do it and I don't appreciate that. And somebody will say, what do you mean? And it's like, I just told you exactly what I meant. And it was that you didn't do your shit and I don't appreciate it. So what do I mean is spelled out for you, crystal clear. Yeah, yeah, it's a different, yeah, that makes sense.

I think it's a defense mechanism. Like somebody's waiting, you know, like responding, how can I respond to this? Yeah, now a lot of defense. Buying time, a lot of buying time. That's what I was gonna say, it's buying time. They're trying to skirt around the fact, they're either they made a mistake,

they weren't paying attention, yeah, you're right, it's a time buyer. But I'm with him, I've had it with that. Had it. What do you mean? What do you mean, what do I mean? Right, read the fucking thing. I just said it in plain English.

Here's what I want to just start doing in general. Is when I say something really crystal clear, like, I want to go to Pumps, let's go to lunch today at noon and I want to go eat Mexican food. And then you say, are you sure you want to eat Mexican food? Then I'm going to start asking a question to your question. Are you sure you want to eat Mexican food? Then I'm going to start asking a question to your question. Are you sure you want to eat Mexican food? I'm just going to keep flipping the script. But it's exhausting.

I know. But you know what? I kind of want to fuck with people. Yeah. There is some joy in that. Look, we're getting older. You especially don't have that much time left on this earth. And I think that everybody's embracing being unhinged nationwide.

100%. Why don't we get to be? Why can't we record a podcast with live eagles in here? Why? Why can't we? Why can't we be unhinged? Some would argue we're already there, but here's the deal. They can always. It could be worse. And also it could be fixed with our first lesbian experience. Here's the thing. You know when we come here and we're like, Cressa, good morning.

Welcome to I've Had It podcast. Immediately they're going to say they had it. They dipped over. They dipped over. They went straight in. Yeah, they went in the lady pond. They went in the lady pond. They went in the lady pond and now they're not fun.

And then it will be the face plant of all time. To end all face plants. Yep. Yeah. All right. Listen up, listener. We are on tour. We've got New York.

We do all these podcasts. We have Patreon. That post show starts here in a minute. We're working overtime. We're working our fingers to the bone. People are copying us left and right. Pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.