I've Had It - You're a Scorpio? I'm an Adult

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

Jon Lovett invites Jennifer and Pumps to the cool kids table for some world-class sh*t talking. NEW TOUR DATES ANNOUNCED! For more I've Had It + tour updates, merch and more at linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Thank you to our sponsors: Golden Bachelorette: Be sure to tune in for the series premiere of The Golden Bachelorette, Wednesday at 8pm/7pm central on ABC and stream episodes the following day on Hulu. Chewy: Right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to https://Chewy.com/hadit. Minimum purchase required. New customers only. Terms and conditions apply. See site for complete details. Hers: Start your free online visit today at https://forhers.com/HADIT LolaVie: Get 15% off LolaVie with the code Hadit15 at https://www.lolavie.com/Hadit15 #lolaviepod eharmony: Give eharmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz, so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eharmony – Get Who Gets You! Follow Us:  I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guests: Jon Lovett @jonlovett @podsaveamerica @lovettorleaveitpodcast  

Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever, if you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say?

Cacaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it. That's, that's, Cacaw! That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay triads, they triots. That's so good.

I mean, it's like a one two punch. You start with the clap and then our patriotic Siberian Husky eagle blend. I think that it just goes to show that as I age, I really am getting better. There's no. I mean, the kakaa. I didn't know I could do that six months ago. Until we took the eagle back, I had no idea. Who knew? Who knew? Who knew? Never needed a kaká before, but now I'm good at it. And it doesn't stop at the clap. That's just the, I mean it's a one-two punch,

the clap and then the kaká. Have you noticed that I've made a concerted effort to do the arms with the caca. I think that is what makes it so good because you actually... A minute. Imitate an eagle. Caca! You know, a lot of people, there's always a skunk at the garden party, obviously. And a lot of people I've noticed say, hey, that's not what an eagle sounds like. And what I have to say to that is, let me hear your best eagle. You know, which is my eagle. Meemaw doesn't have that much more time left on earth. Let her have it. And here's the deal. It's my interpretation as an artist

to put my artistic, creative, whatever you call it, on the eagle. And my eagle says, that's right. All right. What have you had it with? Okay. So we did some airport traveling recently. Yes. And so just as a general, I will say self-awareness. I've had it with people that lack self-awareness, but specifically, I'm sitting in an airport lounge. There's no less than 50 seats. There's exactly four people in it, myself and the three people I was traveling with. This guy comes and sits down, like they're up in this row.

I'm in the second row by myself. I'm the only chair in the row. There are three rows behind me, not one person sitting in it. Guess where this motherfucker sits? Well, I can only imagine he wanted to sit- Right next to me. Right next to- No, it wasn't like that.

It was just lack of self-awareness. If there's 50 seats available, why are you next to me? I think he saw the golden eagle. And he was like, he wanted to land right there. That's what I think. He was like, maybe that Siberian husky wants to come out and bark. Was he attractive at all?

No. No, and it wouldn't have mattered if it was Brad Pitt at this point. Because I'm like, why are you sitting next to me when there are 50 chairs? Isn't it an unwritten custom of society that you at least leave every other chair unless you know the person?

I would never just sit down next to a stranger when there's 50 seats. Yeah you know that is kind of weird. It's weird. Yeah it'd be like if you're at a doctor's office and there's you know the whole lobby and there's one person there and you go and sit right next to the person. There's a psychology to it to where you kind of create your own imaginary space with boundaries. Right. And it's like, why would not only as a person seated, but even as the person choosing a chair, I don't want to sit next to someone I don't know. Did you get up and move? No, I gutted it out because I'm like, why should I move when he's being weird?

I was here first, but I did kick my legs up over the side of the chair. In his space? In his space. A little bit in his space. He didn't even fucking move. It was like he was immune to social cues. You know, I was on the outward flight with you on this trip, we took separate flights home. And I noticed I was sitting in the row in front of you with Josh, and you were sitting with a friend of ours behind us. And within the first five minutes of the flight, the violations that are in complete contradiction to the principles that we hold at I've Had It podcast were immediately violated.

Number one, it was nonstop talking for me. Number two, you were so loud. I heard every word that you said. I couldn't hear our friend Tricia's response to anything because she used her inside voice because we were in fact inside an airplane. But you, I could hear everything and Josh said, God, she is loud and talks a lot. And I said, I know, but if you were to listen to I've Had It podcast, you would think

that she was against such behavior. Here's the deal, I'm just loud. I'm just loud inside, outside, all the sides. I'm just loud. And yeah, I can't remember what we were talking about, but I was interested in it. So yeah, I just, I don't realize how loud I am. And yeah, I can't remember what we're talking about, but I was interested in it. So yeah, I just I don't realize how loud I am. And I do think that's one problem of living by yourself. I could hear you don't know how loud you are. I could hear you through my noise canceling AirPods. God, that's bad. Yeah, that's really bad. And I just thought, are they ever going to watch

their shows? Or does everybody in this tube have to suffer? I don't think I watched a show. It was just that short little flight. Yeah, I think I talked the whole time. Yeah, I do too. Yeah. All right, let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with very demure, very mindful. It was a great little clip. It goes viral on the internet. And then everybody copies it. Everybody does it. Everybody's writing. I'm very demure, very mindful.

And it goes on and on. I see it all generations. And finally, one of the dorkiest dorks on Instagram that I know that is kind of a forced follow because of a history. Right. You know, you have a history with this person, not so much affection as you do history. And in their story, this dorky dork throws out the demure and mindful. And I thought, you know what, that's it. I fucking had it. Shut up. Get your own material. Everybody has to piggyback on one thing and everybody's talking about being demure and mindful. And the original person that coined

this and phrased it, I give all of the props to. All of the copycats, come up with your own content. Do your own thing. I've had it. Have you not seen this? No, at least get a synonym. You know, if you I wouldn't copy the exact. Oh no, it's millions of people that copied it, wouldn't you say, Kylie? Yeah, and it was over like two weeks, maybe a week it was funny, but my entire inbox from brands, companies, it was like new sale, very demure, very mindful, every one of them. The person that originally started it should get a cat. Right. And this is just, it's just complete copycat and they're profiting off of it and they're

acting like they're creative and they're so hip and they're so cool. And basically they're boring and unoriginal and can't come up with their own shit. And I've had it with this. Like come up with your own stuff. Absolutely. can't come up with their own shit. And I've had it with this. Like come up with your own stuff. Absolutely. Okay, let me ask you this question because I'm not good at social media.

The first few people did it and just were straight up copycats. And then the other people just wanted to be a part of the trend and it was kind of tongue in cheek or was it straight up copycats across the board? I mean, you have an array of people that, you know, used it in a clever way the first few days to describe something or to meme something or whatever. And then you've got, you know, Brooke that lives in the gated community, a

hundred miles from any form of civilization that drinks out of a Stanley cup that freebases Fox News, that puts on her Instagram story something about her grandchild being demure and mindful. And I thought I fucking had it. I've had it with this. I don't like this. Get your own material, Brooke. Brooke, you suck. Brooke, you suck. Everything about you sucks. Get your own content. I've had it. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer.

I'm Angie. And our producer Kylie's here. Seth is here. Kylie, what's going on on the internet? Am I out of the Kathy doghouse? No. I haven't heard my real name in a minute. Kathy. There we go. Yeah that was just one slight error on my part and I don't

even know where it came from. Just called her Kathy out of nowhere. All right I've got a five star review okay called Free the Eagle pumps. Right on brand. Yep. Says I love this show. Jennifer and Angie are so full of sass I can't get enough with like ten exclamation points littered throughout. The biggest turn on though, is when Jennifer asks pumps to do the eagle sound. And my queen gives her special caca, caca. All I do is sit in my office saying,

yeah, caca for me baby. I love y'all. So now I'm being told that my cacaw is not only outstanding. It's hot. It's hot. It's a turn on. It's a turn on. I'm so happy.

Turning on people for America. For patriotism. Yep. Love it. So yeah. So let me tell you what Josh has been doing. When we go to restaurants, he has started saying to the waiter or waitress or host or hostess or register worker, hey, I need to tell you something. They'll say what? And he'll say, thank you for your service.

What? Yeah, he started saying, thank you for your service. And then he looks at me and he goes, get it? And he just thinks he's so hilarious. And then he did this other thing the other day. So we were at Flower Child, we ordered our food and ordering what Josh is miserable because he's so psychotic. And it's his goal to try to stump the cashier with some sort of like fucked up special order. And so the waitress, the person at the counter eventually says,

Hey, do you guys want some sangria or a swirl or margarita? And Josh goes, no, we're recovering alcoholics. I like snapped my head and I go, I'm not the one that's been to rehab five times. So you're fighting at the checkout. Why are you lumping me into this? And I looked at my head and I go, I'm not the one that's been to rehab five times. So you're fighting at the checkout. Why are you lumping me into this? And I looked at the gal and I go, I'm not the alcoholic. He is. I just don't drink anymore. So basically, we're at restaurants and Josh is thanking people for their service.

He's trying to lump me into his addiction. And we go and sit down and I just thought what if we turned into what is going on here? We're fighting at the cash register. He's lying. He's lying. He's just making shit up. We're recovering alcoholics. I'm like, we what you and the frog in your pocket? What are you talking about? I'm gonna looked at and then they're both kind of looking at me and the people behind us are kind of looking at me and I'm like as we're leaving I turn around I'm like I'm not the alcoholic. That's the kind of shit where the more you have to say it you sound more like the alcoholic. You sound the most unhinged in that scenario by far. Totally. Let me tell you what Josh did to me the other day. We're ordering at the food at the cash register.

And he starts going, they said, okay, what's your phone number? And we'll text you when your order's ready. He starts arguing with this cashier about how that's not the most efficient way to get the food. And I looked at him and I go, he does not give a fuck, nor does he have any control over it. Shut the fuck up. Let's move on.

Like, why are you giving restaurant advice to the cashier? I mean, it was, but, and here it's like me on the airport, yak, yak, yak talking. He's the worst offender at restaurants. He makes everything longer. He makes everything longer. He makes everything more difficult. I have nothing but empathy for the person that has to take his order.

Yeah. And he's always in this, like, gotcha kind of mindset with restaurant workers. And it's this really weird convoluted relationship. And I somehow get triangulated into it. And it's a miserable experience from start to finish going to eat with Josh from going through a drive through is miserable because he tortures them. Fights about receipts. Yeah. It's just, it's unbelievable.

Yeah. I was able to witness it firsthand and you go through a lot. And now he started this, thank you for your service. And thinks it's cute. He thinks it's just a real knee-slapper Yeah, and here's the thing. He's got a great sense of humor. Yeah All right before we welcome our guests. I want to talk to you about the Helicopter mom group me's okay

That I'm somehow been added to so, you know, my youngest son is a senior in high school. He's 18 years old. He's registered to vote. He can drive a car. He can wake himself up in the morning. He makes his own breakfast. He manages his own schedule. I'm involved in this senior mom group me that is so toxic and so codependent and so antithetical to any form of the way you should treat an 18 year old person that you're trying to help transfer to adulthood. So I get all of these like, hey you got to get your homecoming t-shirt. I'm reading this and I'm like, I'm not going to Homecoming. Right. I don't need a t-shirt.

I'm not going. I don't need to go. If Roman wants a t-shirt, Roman needs to advocate for it. So ultimately, I end up just ignoring the group me because I'm just like, I'm not in high school. I'm not a senior. When I was in high school, my mother was not involved in anything like this. Never, ever. If I needed something, the school told me, When I was in high school, my mother was not involved in anything like this. Never. Ever.

If I needed something, the school told me, and if it required something from her, then I went and told her. Somehow this has all been twisted to where now the school contacts the parent, and then the parent is supposed to then find out from the child. And I just... Anyway, so one of the moms in the group me sends me a text yesterday. Is Roman going to homecoming dance? And I was like, I don't know, I'll ask him.

Why is she here? Well, because she's the one collecting the money for the homecoming dance dinner in this group me that I've ghosted. Right. So she's, instead of texting Roman, she's texting me. And I want to remind you and the listener, I don't go to this school. I'm not the homecoming queen. I have no intentions to go to the homecoming dance, to the homecoming dinner. This is a Roman issue and a Roman problem and requires zero parent involvement, in my opinion, other than do you need money to buy a ticket

and here's your curfew. Beyond that, I don't know what my involvement should be in this because he's 18 years old. So finally, it just kind of sat with me and I just fired back. I said, as an aside, I'll find out from Roman if he wants to go to homecoming. But as an aside, I think this is unhealthy that everybody, I did.

I read it to Kylie yesterday. I couldn't take it anymore. Why are the moms doing all of this stuff for the kids? Doesn't it make more sense for the kids to have their own group me. And then them come to us when they need something. Blah, blah, blah. And I kind of explain, because I genuinely think this is behavior

that is impeding these kids in their transition to adulthood. I don't think it's healthy. I think it's toxic. And then these are the same people that call Gen Z, oh, they have so much anxiety. They're such pissies. And I'm like, well, I wonder why. Because mommy's been all up in their biz all the way up.

Now they're doing all these college play dates and all that crap we talked about before. So anyway, she replies back to me, oh, I couldn't agree more. She like she agreed with me. But so many moms want to be involved because it's their, well, so many lasts. Like last homecoming dance. I'm like, it's not the last for the mom. It's the last for the kid. Mom's way past it.

These, you're out of school, Becky. You're out, quit. I can't take it anymore. I genuinely think that this is the biggest titty baby parade I have ever seen. Yeah. It's just, I think it is so toxic. I think it's toxic helicopter parenting that is out of control, that is behooving no one. And I don't think it makes the mom feel very good And I don't think it makes the mom feel very good.

I don't think it makes the kids feel very good. And I want no part of it. So that's why you fired back a text. I did. You know what? I went to therapy for a long time to learn how to draw boundaries. And I noticed this was very toxic behavior. Why is she texting? You're going to call out their toxic behavior. Why is she texting you're gonna call out their toxic behavior? Why I'm your watch why is she texting me shouldn't she text Roman to see if Roman wants to go to homecoming dance? I'm not going to the dance. No, he's 18 if he were 10. I get it. Of course. That's a complete different thing

I had a woman come up to me last year and say what are we doing for the prom? And I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about. She's like, well, I mean, for dinner and stuff, I was like, I'm not going to the prom. That's, I don't know. What are we doing for the prom? We. I'll tell you what that woman needs to do

is go get a hobby and a career. A job? And I think it's unhealthy to put that much pressure on your child, that their senior year is about your last experience of them doing something. I think it's toxic. I think it is toxic. Party one, your table's not available.

Get me the fuck out of the group. Me, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it. I don't like it. I can't take it. It's titty baby parade, toxic women. I can't take it anymore. I can't take it. I don't like it. I can't take it. It's a titty baby parade, toxic women. I don't like it. And I was like, women supporting women, blah, blah. I don't support this. Okay. I'm just telling you it's going to get worse before it gets better. I already have had one that was a senior and I did very similar things. I snapped back on some of the group me's. This is not my first radio. Why don't you just leave the

group me? I just check it when I need to. It also gives me something to get mad at. And also gives me something to make me feel normal about. You all are unhealthy from Jennifer. Fuck you. All right. That's my two cents on that.

If you are a listener and you are doing for your child what they should be doing for themselves, go ahead and get a Stanley Cup. Go to a Trump rally because we all know where it leads. It all leads there. It's a straight line. It's a straight line. All right. We have a guest that we're so excited about. He is the host of Pod Save America and Love It or Leave It. Let's welcome to I've Had It, John Lovett. Joan Vasos is making history at 61 years old as the world's first Golden Bachelorette on ABC. On The Golden Bachelor, Joan made the

decision to leave the show early putting family first. Now she is returning to the Bachelor Mansion for a second chance at finding the second great love of her life. This season 24 men ranging in age from 59 to 71 will attempt to capture the heart of our leading lady. Joan is setting out to prove that people in their golden years still have a lot of living left to do. Tune in for new episodes of The Golden Bachelorette Wednesdays on ABC and stream the following day on Hulu. I don't know that Pumps and I can say enough good things about Chewy. Our dogs love Chewy and we love our dogs. It is so important to us that we keep our dogs happy and that we keep them healthy. Chewy offers over 100,000 products from all the brands that our pets love

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Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Restrictions apply. Okay, let's welcome to I've Had It, the host of Pod Save America and Love It or Leave It, Jon Levitt. How are you today? Another great day in the greatest country on earth. Hey, how are you guys doing? We're doing great. You know, PAMSA does a great eagle impersonation that our listeners quite like because we call them the Gatriots and the Patriots. And then Pumps does a thunderous eagle sound.

Do it for John Pumps. Caw-caw! No, it didn't thunder for me because I think the algorithm that decides what we're allowed to hear thought it wasn't human. I think he was just underwhelmed. And so it did get quieted. It didn't sound like voice speaking. So it got brought down, but I'm sure it was extraordinary.

You know, I have a funny story to tell you. So the first time we met you in person, we were at that fundraiser in Los Angeles and Pumps and I go and we're sitting at this table by ourselves. And we're kind of like scanning the crowd and Pumps is way deep. I mean, balls deep in the liberal algorithm. And she's like, oh, here's this person, there's that person. So we see all of the Pod Save America guys sitting with Brian Tyler Cohen. And Pumps is like sucking on her vape, kind of hiding it. And she's looking at me and she goes, that's the cool kid table.

I'm not used to this. We're not at the cool kid table. We're sitting here all by ourselves. They're laughing. They're having fun. People are walking by saying hello to them. And we're the dorks. We're the biggest dorks at the fundraiser sitting here by ourselves. Yeah, it was bad. I've never been at, and I don't think it is actually

physically possible for me to be at a cool kid's table any more than you can have a square triangle, or that you can go back in time and kill your own grandfather. I think it's like, it's logically impossible. So I think maybe you're good is what I'd say. No, I think you were definitely in that moment. It was a first for you, I guess, but I don't think it was.

You were definitely at the cool kids table. I guess that was really more about you though. It was really more about you projecting your own insecurities, I guess. Well, I'm just not used to not- Onto others or yourself, yeah. I'm not used to not being at the cool kids table. Well, how does it feel?

I didn't want to. You know what? Spend 40 years in that table. You get used to it. You get used to it. You'll make it your own. Yeah, it was she was not, you know, we're talking about a former homecoming queen, Pumps, former head cheerleader, queen of her sorority, most popular girl at law school, the biggest female in podcasting, the League America's legal eagle. And there she was at the dork table with me with her. Anyway. All right. Tell us what you've had it with. I think, look, politically, I think.

I think one of the things we have to always have had it with, but are not allowed to have had it with, is the fact that there is a massive effort. We have two choices between Kamala Harris, who is ultimately a mainstream Democrat, and she has a lot of work to do to show people what she'll do as president, how it will make it a difference in their lives, and that's work that she has to do. But ultimately, we have a mainstream Democrat whose policies will be better for the vast

majority of voters versus an out of touch deranged Republican whose policies would be worse for the country on the whole, even if he was a normal person and he is not, he's a dangerous buffoon. And we have a Herculian job. Basically, all Democrats are trying to figure out how to explain that choice to American people. Republicans and their propaganda apparatus are doing everything they can to obfuscate that choice for the American people.

And then we have the political press and observers who spend a lot of time trying to make a simple and static choice seem complicated and dynamic because there's a lot of pages to fill and a lot of TV to make and a lot of stories to write. And the truth being kind of somewhat obvious and a little bit boring at this point just isn't a great way to make content. And so we end up in this endless cycle in which Kamala Harris is the protagonist and her every move is scrutinized and she's expected to do an extraordinary amount of press and lay out her policies cleanly and honestly, while Trump is this antagonist who is allowed to basically say whatever he wants.

And while there's plenty of attention on Trump's terrible things, on the whole, there is a bias towards assuming Democrats and Kamala Harris specifically have agency and must behave heroically. And Donald Trump is expected to be obnoxious and crass and deceptive. And we just sort of live in that environment and it's not useful to talk about and you can't spend your whole day lamenting it. You got to get your hands in and in the muck and just get practical and try to do everything we can to win.

But today, as we head into the last basically seven and a half weeks of this campaign, I am frustrated by that endless reality, which leads us to these elections that feel like the stakes are total. And so that is my current frustration and thing I've had it with. Also, people are spitting their gums in the urinal. They're spitting gum out into urinals. You are in a room that has usually at least one, but more likely more garbage cans. Right. You will walk by a garbage can to get to the urinal. You will walk by a garbage can to get to the urinal.

You will walk by a garbage can after you finish using the urinal. If you spit your gum into the garbage can, it's gone. It's over. No one ever has to see it. No one ever has to deal with it. But if you spit your gum out in the urinal, you are saying, I want a human being

with blood coursing through their veins, with love in their hearts, with hopes in their mind, to have to put on a glove and pick it up with their fucking hand. Why? Why are you doing that? What is the point? It's not easier.

What are you, saving fucking time? You're saving time? I don't have time to spit this gum out into a garbage can. I'm here pissing now. I'm gonna spit this gum into the one place in this room where someone has to touch it, where someone has to deal with it. And as if that person is so happy with the fact

that part of their day is cleaning this bathroom. It's not a glamorous role. It's a job. It's a person that has to do that job and you're going to make that person's job just a little bit worse for no fucking reason. Don't spit the gum in the urinal.

It's madness. It's madness. I see it all the time. If it wouldn't have if it wouldn't be a deeply weird thing for other people to see, I would like to start taking pictures of. If you take your phone out at a public bathroom and start pointing weird thing for other people to see. I would like to start taking pictures of them. But

if you take your phone out at a public bathroom and start pointing it down, people rightfully start asking questions. So I'm not going to do that. But the amount of times I see gum at the bottom of a urinal is insane. It is insane. And I do think it is connected to how we got Trump. I agree. I'm going to tell you, I've been pushing a theory that that that I starting to turn into we're starting to collect data. And I believe with every molecule in my body that there is a direct link between Stanley cups and Trumpism. I think that once you start drinking out of a Stanley cup and you start buying accessories for your Stanley cup

and you get your Stanley cup, a purse and a backpack and a tag and this fetish culture consumer capitalism about your cup and this hydration theater, the only place that that can end is at a Trump rally. And so I agree that now we can start to, I think that probably if male Stanley Cup users probably spit their gum out in urinals on their way to a Trump rally with their Stanley Cup.

And where are we at? Where are we on a Wallace? I feel like I have a Wallace. Are they okay? On what? A Wallace? I don't know if it's the LGBT version of Stanley Cups at this point, but it's like, that's what I use. How large is it? It's in all the sizes.

I do think it's the size. I think it's once people are starting to walk around with basically a gallon container on a like kind of once you're walking around with a liquid that requires the cantilever force to keep it aloft. Like, like once you're starting to think about like, oh, I need to I need to kind of I need some more structure on this side, because when you pick it up, it kind of that and like kind of like you're kind of realizing you have to kind of crunch your arm like this just to keep this part of it aloft. I don't know what my hands are doing is not now I can see myself behind you and I'm getting a little self-conscious.

But I agree with you on the Stanley cups. Well, here's what I think. I think if you are making a video about your cup and you're posting it on social media, I think if it requires a lot of schlepping and it becomes a part of your personality, and then you're buying multiple colors of these. I think if it requires a lot of schlepping and it becomes a part of your personality, and then you're buying multiple colors of these.

So I don't know if the Oualas users are doing this. Maybe that's what I don't know about it. Maybe they're not advertising how thirsty they are. But all of these things lead me to be concerned about how thirsty everybody is. And then the lack of culture in America that you want to devote time and energy to filming the cup that you drink a liquid out of and putting it to a song and then putting that on your social media. It just it

really makes me unhinged. When I was a kid, I'm getting so old, but when I was a kid you just the time for the drinking of liquids was a kid, I'm getting so old, but when I was a kid, you just, the time for the drinking of liquids was a discrete period of time that took place between larger longer times in your life. Like you would, you know, do things for a while, then when you were thirsty you'd have a drink and then you go back to doing stuff. There wasn't a container of liquid that you took with you in every point. Like, when I go into a meeting now, if I don't have a beverage with me,

I feel like something's wrong. Like, I'm part of this. Like, I take a beverage, I'm always, like, I have a beverage right here. Like, the idea of being here for this conversation and not having some kind of a beverage, whether a Stanley Cup or not, is ridiculous. Like, I always need to be having a liquid nearby.

And like that wasn't always the case. That's a strange new thing. And then I wonder, is it because the food is so salty? Is it because the food has made us all thirstier than we could have ever possibly been in the past? What do you think about that? Or is it just like, it been in the past. That's a great thing about that. Or is it just- Great theory. Is it just like, it's all the capitalism.

It's, you know, you think you hear hydrate, hydrate, hydrate and water, think about how smart it is to bottle water and sell it. Like water is something, selling water is a fairly new thing over the total lifespan of our species to actually sell water. And so I think that's what it is. You know, in Europe, you don't see, we just got back from Italy Sunday, pumps and me, you don't see people walking around with these cups

and always having a drink. They're still somewhat pure about this. No, I think that that's interesting. Yes. And also like, like bottled water became so normal or like, basically like we underfunded and like undervalued infrastructure that brought this amazing system in which clean water comes to all of our homes through a faucet. And we're like, you don't drink from that. Well, why not? No, you have a truck Bring also separately a big vessel of water to various places like i'm in an office we have a water cooler What the fuck is a what why there's a there's a what's okay? We can't get this out of the tap We can't make this work anymore, but i'm not drinking that water out of the top

I don't know why i'm not not either at some level. It's like I don't trust it But why don't I trust it? When do we stop trusting it? And am I wrong? Like, what happened? What happened? Trump happened. No, that doesn't work. It's all his fault.

But still. Everything. Sure. Okay, now we're gonna play a game with you called Had It or Hit It. Okay. Oh my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It.

I would hit it. had it or hit it. I would hit it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay. Had it or hit it reality TV. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it twice. It's great. And you're going to be on Survivor or were. I was already on. I mean, I was on Survivor. You're going to see that I was on Survivor. It airs next week. But like I have loved reality TV since I watched the pilot of Survivor, the first episode of Survivor

when I was in high school. And I like I have my problems with certain kinds of reality shows like The Bachelor type reality shows make me very uncomfortable. The less competitive versions like The Real Housewives type reality shows are not my favorite thing. But give me people competing. Give me a challenge. Give me a race. Give me a design competition. Give me drag queens lip syncing. I'm in. I'm in.

I'm in. And by the way, people describe these things as guilty pleasures. Stop that. No such thing. You can't ironically watch television. Right. It's not possible. You can't ironically watch television

any more than you can ironically eat a cupcake. You want it, you're consuming it, you're enjoying it, own that. I agree. Own that. You're not better than the thing that you love. Okay, but here's the deal I have to know because I followed you for a long time. You are a five-star kind of guy, accommodation-wise. So were you scared? No. Okay.

Thank you for asking. Here's why. I like nice things, but I can take anything. You know, like, like obviously I, I really, really honestly, it's more about getting the value. Like you tell me that I'm at like a, at like a, a cheap roadside motel, I can handle that.

As long as I'm getting the value proposition of what I'm promised. If I'm promised a mediocre room with a thin towel for a good value, and if you're lucky, there's a box of cereal down in the lobby for free, great, that's the deal we made. That's the bargain. I have exchanging money for your services.

These are the services I want. Now if I'm at a five star really nice resort, well, let's see. Let's see what you've got. Let's see what you've got. But that doesn't mean I can't sleep on the floor. Have done it, will do it. Where was-

I like nice things. I can deal with anything. That's very impressive. Where was the survivor, where was the venue? Is that a secret or can you tell? No, no, no, that wasn't a secret. It was in Fiji. Which is gorgeous. Oh, fun.

I can't talk about it. So when does it start? I can't talk about it. It's fascinating experience. It airs next week. Okay, I'm gonna watch it. I am too. To be honest, I've never watched a whole season

because it made me so nervous. You should try being honest. Yeah, I mean, that's what I'm saying. You think you're nervous watching it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I can't wait to see you. Pumps, our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated.

It's unparalleled. We are the champions. If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in Seattle in September or New York City in November for, you know, just some world-class shit talking. That's right. Live, live and in person. That's right. Live, live and in person. That's right. Hey, listener, this episode is proudly brought to you by LolaVe, an award-winning hair care line founded by the ever fabulous, ever iconic Jennifer Aniston. Pumps, what do you think about this new product?

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app to find someone you can be yourself with. Our listener knows that we're unapologetically ourselves and don't feel like we need to pretend to be anything else. That's probably why y'all listen to our podcast. You stay true to yourselves and have had it with pretending to be someone you're not. That's especially true when you're out there on the dating apps. Pops, what's going on out there on the dating apps? It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps. And what I love about eHarmony is it's real people for real relationships. You heard her listener. That's why we've partnered with eHarmony because dating on eHarmony is different.

eHarmony knows that to find something real, you have to keep it real. You can't be out here trying to be some fantasy Instagram version of yourself. eHarmony is designed to help you bring out your personality on your profile with their unique personality test. They even highlight similarities with your potential matches. And that's when the magic happens when you form genuine connections and authenticity leads to intimacy. Listener, give eHarmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eHarmony, get who gets you. Joan Vasos is making history at 61 years old as the world's first Golden Bachelorette on ABC.

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I'll tell you something, and I don't know, are you horoscope people? No, I think it's ridiculous. I think that people say, well, I'm a Pisces, so I forgot to do this. I'm like, no, you're a dipshit. That's why you forgot to do it. It has nothing to do with the month you were born. Yes. There was in, I think, either the 1600s or the 1700s in England,

the city of London compiled all the reasons people had died in the city the year before. And they had your usual disease, accident, murder. But one of the listed causes of death was planet, because when they didn't know why you died, they ascribed it to the heavens. These people also didn't have toilets. We've come a long way, right? Like we've come a long way We don't empty a bucket of our feces into the into the road through our Through our shutters, right because we've grown we've changed for the better. I find like I find, like, yes, I don't, I just find it very awkward, too, that people are talking about their horoscopes and it's like, okay, well, I don't, like, what am I supposed to

say? Like, oh, you're a Scorpio? I'm an adult. I completely agree with you. It makes me crazy how much emphasis people put on it. It's just, it is old. It's so dated. And the fact that people believe that somebody's personality or forgetting to do something,

forgetting to feed your dog is because of the month you were born. It drives me fucking crazy. And then when they start talking about the cusp, I'm on the cusp. Oh, then it gets cusp. And then it gets fucking

it gets ornate where it's like I'm a I'm a I'm a Leo with a Pisces rising and a Saturn moon. Like, what, hey, two points. One, you live in the light that science provides you. The benefits that are bestowed upon you every day because of the beautiful, simple, magical hypothesis control group, test group results.

Like change the whole world, make everything better. It's the reason you didn't die of an earache. You're lucky to be here. You're here, you're here because a bunch of people heard this mumbo jumbo and said there's got to be a better way That's that's it's in everything. It's why your phone works Well, your phone lets you look up these horoscopes because a bunch of people said no. Thank you to this It's a luxury that you get to do these horoscopes and then second point I know I know it, maybe it's worth saying, and maybe

it's not. People have done studies on this. They've looked at every personality quality a person can have, every trait, every characteristic. They have huge amounts of data because actually it's a pretty easy thing to study because all you need is your fucking birthday. And it turns out, no, your birthday isn't associated with how eccentric you are or whether you're on time or if you're neat or a narcissist. No, they've run the numbers. They've crunched the numbers. Huge meta studies, hundreds of thousands of data points.

Nothing, nothing. Not a fucking shred of data. Nothing. Yeah, yeah, but you can only date, you can only date C signs, shut up. Shut up, you're not single, you're not single because of where Uranus was. You're single because your standards are too high. I'm done.

Oh, I love it. I mean, that is just exactly how I feel. I love it. I love it. Okay. All right. Let's move along. Had it or hit it, team building exercises.

You know, I have to be careful here. Did you do this? Because I have inflicted, well, no, it's because I've inflicted team building exercises on some of the people in this very room. (*LAUGHTER*) Here's what actually ends up happening for me in team-building exercises, which is I start out by having had it, but by the end, I realize,

oh, it was good that we did this. I hit it. You know what I'm saying? So in the future, it's a bit like having... It's a bit like reading an old novel. I don't want to read it, but I'm glad I have read it. I don't want, before it happens, I've had it, but after, I'm glad we hit it, you know? What's an example of a team building exercise

that you've led your staff into? Well, you know, you lock everybody in a room and it slowly fills with water and you have to find a way out. Like that's that sort of thing. Just that mild fake drowning. Right, that classic one. Yeah, got it. Okay, had it or hit it Nancy Pelosi? Hit it. Hit it. Nancy Pelosi. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Nancy Pelosi.

So this was something, this was a rant I had for many years when I thought she was under-appreciated. There are many reasons people can, people are going to have frustrations with Congress, they're going to have frustrations with the Obama era. Fine. None of them really ought to be laid at the feet of Nancy Pelosi, who managed to get the Affordable Care Act through even after Senator Ted Kennedy died, which I will not go into the details of how she did it or how she was part of making it possible, but it was extraordinary. Even though it ended up actually, I think, costing some people in her caucus their seats,

she got a climate change bill through Congress a decade before the Inflation Reduction Act. It ended up dying in the Senate, but she got it through the House. She got a ton of stuff done when she was a Speaker of the House, an extraordinary vote counter, vote getter, underappreciated because she's a woman. And so it's been interesting to see in just the last couple of months, like how she got this sort of credit around Obama, Obama, around Biden stepping aside, because I think it's like her doing the kind of thing she's always done was just like, know how to move behind the scenes. If you watch

the documentary footage or the footage of Nancy Pelosi during the insurrection, just seeing how tough and smart and thoughtful she is about her role, like what she wants, the people around her to do, who she's calling, how she's working the phones, like just an amazing, amazing person. I agree. Not always the best communicator, but amazing, amazing person. I agree. Not always the best communicator, but I don't care.

I love her. I love when during Trump's, when he was president, during one of his state of the union, she very patronizingly like clapped to him. And then when she tore up, tore up her speech, and then the one where she walks in, she says, I would say good morning to you, but it isn't one. And we saw her at the DNC. And we saw you there too. And we saw her walking and

we were waiting to go into like a recording room. And she walks by and she has a couple of people with her in Hills, 82, 83 years old. And she was just, I was so starstruck. I was just like, oh my God, she's a goddess. I absolutely love her and have followed politics for a very long time and think that she has been so instrumental and doesn't really seek out a lot of credit for what she's done. She's more about keeping people in line and keeping things in order.

I like her a lot. Okay, had it or hit it, irritable bowel syndrome. You're gonna sick freak is like, no, I'm a huge fan of that. What kind of question is that? No, I love it. I love it when people only can sit on the aisles during movies.

I think our producer looked up that maybe you struggle with this. What the fuck? Kylie? Is this on the internet somewhere? He posted at the state fair and thanked lactate. Oh, excuse me. All right. Listen.

No, no. I see you with your confusion. You thought I have IBS. The way you pronounce that is Jewish. That's the pronunciation of that word, which is of course, yeah, occasionally I got to take a lactate, but that's just because I'm an Ashkenazi Jew. I'm a desert person where there weren't cows where we started. There wasn't dairy where we started.

And so where we ended up, we have to, we need a little help to process it because we're a desert people. But that's not, that's not IBS. I mean, listen, if I, and by the way, and by the way, I just want to also be clear. I think I've reacted a little unfairly. There's nothing wrong if you have IBS

and I don't want to shame people who have it. I shouldn't have reacted so harshly to being told on the internet, I have IBS, which I don't. But if I did, I'd proudly tell you. But no, I just, listen, I have, I think, my eyes and my stomach, I think like my stomach is Jewish. My eyes, I think, are a hearty Midwestern Lutheran

There's a dissonance there lactate is required Last one had it or hit it Kamala Harris. We have to hit it. We simply have to hit it and Like if you're listening to this, wherever your head's at, we have 50 some odd days to stop Donald Trump. Kamala Harris will not solve all of life's problems, but we can't solve anything unless we have a reasonable, smart, capable person in the job of president who cares more about the country than destroying their enemies and complaining and being applauded and being celebrated.

Like, there is such danger ahead if we don't stop Donald Trump in his tracks, and we have so many opportunities if we do. If we elect Kamala Harris, like there's gonna be opportunity to put pressure on her to achieve a whole bunch of things. We may still have to protest from time to time. We may be frustrated from time to time. There may be compromises we disagree with from time to time,

but we get the opportunity to do politics, to be part of a democracy with a president who values democracy. Everybody can help over the next 50 days. If you go to votesaveamerica.com and you sign up, we will give you ways. Vote Save America is our nonprofit. That basically the theory is we know you're deluged with information. We know you don't know exactly where to put your money or your time.

We will give you the simplest and most effective ways you can help right now. When people don't trust the news, when people don't trust politicians, they trust their friends, they trust their neighbors, they trust somebody from their community knocking on their doors. This race will be decided in a few states by a few thousand votes. If you've never volunteered before, you do it once, you realize why so many people do it. Just give it a shot.

If you do more than you did last time, if everybody listening does just a little bit more than they did last time, we will win. So please sign up at votesaveamerica.com because I wanna get a good night's sleep in 2025, don't you? Yes. Yes, I completely agree. John Levitt, thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you for having me. Yes, we'll direct everybody to vote Save America in our show notes. And I really feel like we're getting cooler. Just by knowing you. I mean, he's on the pod. He's on the pod, so we must be a little bit cooler. And you know what? I feel like I got cooler too. Because it's not, because it's not a, this is America.

And coolness is not a cake we're slicing. Everybody can do it. Everybody can have it. All the signs. This is America and coolness is not a cake we're slicing Everybody can have it all the signs and coolness make the coolness begets coolness It's a renewable resource and that's that's the beauty of it. That's the beauty of it All right. Thanks John. Thanks John loved it. I love him. I love John. Love. I would go on Survivor just to be with John. To spend time with John? Just to spend time with John. And we all know I'm not outdoorsy at all.

I like to say that I'm really proud of us for something. When we were at that fundraiser in Los Angeles sitting at Dorky McDorkerson table, I mean just the two biggest dorks at the venue. We were rock, paper, scissoring for five seconds. And we saw the cool kid table, where John Leavitt was at the cool kid table and Brian Tyler Cohen was at the cool kid table. We have sought them out and dare I say befriended them. It might be an overstatement, but we're close.

I mean, we saw Brian Tyler Cohen at the DNC. There were hugs. We saw multiple times. How are you doing? I felt like he's our friend. Yeah, I did too. And John Levitt. John Levitt.

I just, I feel like the next time we're all at the same place, we could all be sitting at the same table. You think? I think it's possible. That's exciting. Yeah. All right, listener, make sure you like, subscribe, write a review if you would like to hear Kathy, our producer read it to you. And pumps. Tell them we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.