Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Baby Name Cucking with Susan Orlean

Episode Date: October 20, 2022

Susan Orlean joins Jordan and Jesse this week to talk about what are the best podcasts to fall asleep to, her weird childhood nickname and how much a koala costs.Check out Susan's new podcast Book Exploder wherever you get your podcasts!Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use JJGO for 30% off + Free Shipping. 

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, still high off Hackmember. Okay, so, so I know, of course... Happy Hackmember to everyone. One and all. I know November.

I know October. Yeah. These months got... They ain't got shit on Hackmember. January. Snooze. February. See ya. March.

April. Who needs them? I'm all about Hackmember, baby baby that's when i'm having the most fun so hack member is when you uh get together with your buddies to work on open source software no it's when you spend all september watching gene hackman movies. Oh! Happy hack member! Oh, I had such a hack member, Jesse. Let me tell ya. We started out with Night Moves.

I just was watching Night Moves myself! Is it a bummer that the song Night Moves does not pop up in the movie? Yes. Huge bummer. You would think that one would have inspired the other. Yeah, I was kind of I was waiting for it. You know, like how in Creed, they kind of make you wait for the Rocky theme a little bit.

But you know what, Jordan? Nightmare on My Street by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince isn't on any of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. So apparently they chose the Fat Boys instead. True story. So yeah, had a great time with Night Moves. And I'm like, all right, what's next? It's Hack Member. Now, Night Moves is a good movie. Great time seems like a stretch.

Yeah, it is a good movie that is a real bummer and has a lot of 80s problematic shit. But in light of that, is it a treat sure it's a great movie you get to watch you'd watch gene hackman be a former professional football safety linebacker i think it's a linebacker his character in that movie the least convincing thing that they should have rewritten in any history. Just change it so that he played hockey. Okay. So my second Hackmember watch, I'm like, you know what I've never seen? This is a movie people love. The Quick and the Dead, starring Sharon Stone, but co-starring Gene Hackman. Right. People love this thing. It's a Western. It's from the 90s. I've heard nothing but great things about it. So I'm like, boom, that's my next one.

Following up Night Moves with The Quick and the Dead. So it's one of those things where I like just, I search on the Apple TV and I'm like, how do I subscribe to four fucking streaming services and nothing has this down the middle movie from 1992?

Why? What are we... Why? Are you going to drop $3.99 why are you going to drop 399 or are you going to drop 1499 for the purchase yeah i i shouldn't have to i shouldn't with all these anyway we got we got all these film libraries that are it should come free with your fucking toaster jordan thank you i should be able to watch the quick and the Dead on my Roomba. You know what? I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this right now, Jordan. My microwave came with Tombstone. Was it a Tombstone pizza in the microwave?

Well, both. It was both the movie Tombstone and a Tombstone pizza. That's a fun cross promotion. So anyway. And it came with my Tombstone. Oh, no. Yeah. It predicted my, it knew what day I'm going to die.

2024. Uh-oh. Well, better get to drug using. Yeah. So here's what I did. I didn't want to pay that $3.99 or whatever. So I saw that I could watch The Quick and the Dead if I subscribed briefly to the Showtime streaming network. Right.

So I'm like, great. I can do that. I'll set a little reminder to cancel the trial or who knows, maybe I'll love Showtime. Maybe I'll become a Showtime head. I don't know.

Maybe you'll stick around because you want to watch the Camacho fight. Sure, right. A lot of good stuff on there. So anyways, watch The Quick and the Dead. Loved it.

Great movie. Recommend it. Next time you're celebrating hack member it's a great choice but something i noticed about showtime is that they still have a late night tab so they have series movies sports late night this is so that's just like jimmy kimmel no it's not jesse it's not no that's like the uh 11 o'clock news maybe the kids in the hall no there's not a single trump roast on in this tab there's not a single it's just reruns of pcu appearance of the chicken lady yeah not a minute of showtime at the apollo pops up weird but they have soul

train right here's what it is jesse okay it is plotty softcore pornography uh the sort where they it's usually a story about a like a private detective that gets in too deep maybe they have to go undercover at a strip club, something. And then people have oral sex with each other where it just looks like they're nosing each other's belly buttons. Right. You don't see any genitals. Can I ask a question? Mm-hmm.

Am I oral sexing wrong? Because that's what I do. No, just keep keep keep yeah keep hey my wife seems to like it keep keep at it if she hey as long as she's having a good time you're having a good time i didn't mean to kink shame you all you nasty button nosers out there have fun you freaks nosing each other's buttons okay So I noticed a title in the late night tab that I thought applied to us. And perhaps our guests can learn something about this too. I just want to read you one of the titles of one of the movies under the Showtime late night tab.

It's called Lust in Limbo. I'm going to read you the description thank you well can i can i make just a couple quick guesses uh sure yeah go for it yeah you get uh let's say two guesses okay so my first guess is that it's a sexual retelling of dante'sferno. No, but that sounds hot. Literally and figuratively. Literally, figuratively. My second is it's like one of those Frankie and Annette beach

movies, but they fuck. No, here's what it is. That does sound pretty great too. Misty reluctantly becomes a sexy radio podcast host when she discovers she's dead and faced with a fate of going to hell or a remote possibility of getting into heaven. It's a tough choice for the sexually free spirit as she atones for earthly sins and is asked to dispense helpful sexual advice to a growing audience of lovelorn, sexually frustrated Americans. She's so good, she becomes popular and holds the heart of America in the palm of her hand

before the final verdict arrives a bit too soon. This proposes a theology where when you are between heaven and hell, you host a podcast. That there is a kind of liminal space a kind of a living death a betwixt in between so that's surprising but also also kind of a sub surprise was that the fact that anything involving podcasting would make someone want to jack off. Seems unlikely. Have you never... Not even... Not even Radiolab. When it's going plink, plunk, plink, plunk, plunk, plink, plunk, plunk.

No, uh-uh. That's what I'm most flaccid. Boy. It was during the plunking. Maximally so, huh? Yeah. Just flapping and flopping down there? Yeah.

It's like I got out of a cold pool. Radiolab's plinking and plunkking and you're flapping and flopping. Yeah, I'm flapping while they're plonking. They're plonking, I'm flapping. Dearest Mr. Applebrot. Just texting Jack. Should we introduce our guest on the program? Yeah, I think our guest has a podcast project to talk about.

And maybe she'll be delighted to learn that it's a kind of living death between heaven and hell. She's a celebrated author. She's a writer for a magazine called The New Yorker. She is a television writer for How To With John Wilson, one of the five best shows on television right now. She is now a podcaster with the podcast Book Exploder. Our friend, Susan Orlean. Hi, Susan. Hello. And I'm very concerned about this living death. I mean, I'm sorry, but this is new. Although I've got to say, I don't know if you guys saw the movie Bodies, Bodies, Bodies, but a recurring joke in the movie is about everybody having a podcast. And it was genuinely hilarious and also shaming because I saw it right about the time we were launching Book Exploder. And I thought, God damn it.

I've done it. I've done that thing. I'm that person with the podcast. But I'm proud. I'm very proud. It has become kind of media shorthand for total dipshit. Yeah, it's true. On the other hand, it was funny because all these stories this week about the death of

late night television pointed out that a lot of these newly decommissioned late night hosts were doing podcasts. Right. And I thought that was kind of interesting. A lot of professional wrestlers are doing podcasts. A lot of basketball players are doing podcasts. Quite a number of dentists doing podcasts out there. The grocery store Trader Joe's.

Yeah. Trader Joe's has its own podcast, a highly produced podcast. They spend a lot of money on. Well, maybe it's the equivalent of the olden days where everybody was working on a screenplay. And, you know, the fact is the barrier to entry in the film business is very high. The barrier of entry to doing a podcast is shockingly low. Basically, you can record it on your phone and you have podcasts. Jordan and I have been working at the

Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in Studio City. That's where we record our podcast and write our screenplays. As long as you buy one ice blended every 30 minutes, they can't kick you out. Yeah. That's our limit, by the way. We can handle one ice blended per 30 minutes they can't kick you out yeah that's our limit by the way we can handle one ice blended per 30 minutes but don't don't they also get a producer credit they do yes it is brought to you by the coffee bean and tea leaf in studio city but you know what that one it fucking worked out for the coffee bean and tea leaf in studio city they fucking went egot oh yeah i know it's amazing it's true yeah but it you know, I mean, I'm a proud podcaster and I'm also a voracious consumer of podcasts. I do listen to a million podcasts and I even fall asleep to podcasts.

I also love to listen to podcasts, but I definitely haven't done the I fall asleep to podcasts. I also love to listen to podcasts, but I definitely haven't done the I fall asleep to them thing. But I've heard that from a ton of people that they have like sleep podcasts. And it's not like a podcast for falling asleep, but it's like, you know, here is my Star Trek recap podcast that I listen to when I want to go to sleep. Right? No, I and mine is a little weird. And actually, my husband was bugging me about it the other day. I listened to Dateline, and it's a show about horrible murders. But Keith Morrison has the most mellifluous delivery. Yeah, it's all about the delivery.

It doesn't matter what they're talking about. And everything is very dramatic, and there is, or did he, I mean, he's just got this amazing, phony, dramatic voice and it's very soothing. But the problem is the other night I couldn't find, normally I listened to two minutes fall asleep. And then I listened to the same dateline over and over again, because I never get beyond the first two minutes. So the other night, I couldn't fall asleep, which is rare for me. And I listened to the whole thing and it was the most horrible, like sick murder. You were celebrating hack member in an entirely different way. It was so awful. And I was really upset by it. And the next morning I was telling my husband

all about this horrible murder. And he said to me, why do you listen to this to go to sleep? And I said, well, normally it's very soothing. It's, you know. And does it ever drill its way into your dreams? Like, do you dream about, you know, heads and trunks? Well, this one, I did dream a little bit about it because it was so creepy. It's a story about this couple who had a very beautiful, fancy boat and decided to sell it. And the guy who bought it from them had other ideas and basically said, oh, give me a, let's take the boat out just to test it. And he ended up tying the husband and wife together and throwing them overboard attached to the anchor. Wow. I mean, it was really awful.

That's like super villain shit. I was trying to take a nap in the backyard the other day. Very similar thing happened to me. I fell asleep and I had this horrible dream that the Blue Jays had blown an 8-1 lead to the Mariners in a decided game of the division series. Is that your sleep media? Is it baseball radio? preference is the baseball game for a nap. I will also sometimes listen to a not upsetting episode of Fresh Air, perhaps one I've already heard before. Like one that my ideal would be like an interview with Harry Belafonte. Sure. A nice chat with Randall Park. Not one about how democracy is imploding. Yeah, exactly. Sorry, Dave Davies, but I'm only listening to your baseball ones.

Yeah, like one that I have heard, but it was long enough ago that it lives in a nice kind of 20% remembered comforting space in my head. You know what I mean? But mostly I'm doing it to block out my family. I need, if it's daytime sleep, I need something to prevent my family sounds from entering me. Oh, that's weird. God, I thought you were married to Dave Davies. Yeah. That's why I can't listen to the Dave Davies. Oh, okay. That makes sense now. Yeah. If it's Barbara Bogaive or whatever, I'm in. Susan, I was excited to hear that you

were coming on the show because I just finished your great kind of newish book on animals. It is a lot of great pieces about animals. You want to read a celebrity profile of a dog? You got it, baby. Susan Orlean's here for it.'s great i would recommend it to all like blanket recommendation to anyone who can read nobody on earth will not enjoy susan orlean's passion for little details about things that are amusing but but a lot of it is you you kind of weave in your personal experience with animals you have had. Would it be fair to say a shit ton? Oh yeah.

I think that's the metric that we use. And, and there was a time when I probably maxed out with cattle, ducks, geese, chickens, Guinea fowl, dogs,

and cats. It's funny. The other day, I wanted a tortoise for a long time. And, you know, when we were living on a farm in upstate New York, our neighbors had tortoises. And I thought, that's what we need to kind of expand laterally. We don't need more mammals. You wanted to diversify sort of like a general electric kind of situation. You wanted to penetrate new markets. Yeah, the reptile world. But you know what?

It took up pretty much every single waking hour, but it was such a pleasure. It was really I mean, there is something just elemental about caring for animals. In fact, in a way, I love livestock almost more than I love wild animals. But the relationship with livestock is so interesting. And it's different from the relationship with dogs and cats because they don't, you know, the livestock aren't in your house. And yet you end up with a relationship with them. And I just loved it. I love taking care of them. I loved, you know, mucking out the chicken coop. I loved all of it.

I've had a lot of people tell me that they feel compelled to kiss cows. I've never felt that, but it's a popular, it seems to be a popular compulsion. Is that? I get it. I get it. Well, they have huge cheeks. Maybe that's it. I get it. Well, they have huge cheeks. Maybe that's it. Giant cheeks. And you do. I mean, it makes you it's I get it. But our cattle there, you know, cows are like half wild. And our cows were, you know, they they were not pets for sure. I think maybe dairy cows are a little more chill.

We had black Angus and you know, they, they were more wild than domesticated. I'll never forget. So we had 10 black Angus and they're giant and they gain like 20 pounds a day. And they're, they're huge. And my son, when he was about five, went into the pasture, which was not something we recommended and ran up to the. Wait, did you give your son like one of those sheets that's sitting on the countertop at an Airbnb?

Like with like recommended local restaurants and pastures? Yeah, the Wi-Fi password. years old, was all excited and turned around and came toddling toward me as the 10 black Angus began charging at him. Oh my gosh. And he said, Mommy, look, a stampede. Wow. That's funny that he knew what it was, but not to be afraid of it. Snakey has venom. Yeah, no, my first thought

was, wow, my kid is so smart. He knows the word stampede. And my second thought was, get the hell out of there, run, run. And the cows were like thundering. And he, you know, it all ended well. My son is in one piece, but it was, well, there are hazards in having animals. So when we moved from that farm, I had to deaccession a lot of critters. And that was sad. I was very sad about it. Did you take them down to like the 4-H and give them to some 12-year-old girls? Well, the cattle had a destiny already changed. They went to live on a farm.

Another farm, a different farm with all of my childhood dogs, right? Exactly. I mean, they were all sort of partitioned off to different people. And I had these wonderful chickens. And it's actually if you have chickens who are of laying egg age, it's very easy to find people who want them because, you know, it's kind of a. People gots to have their omelets. Right, exactly. So everybody, everyone ended up having a happy home. I mean, arguably the cattle did not, but they didn't know any different. Well, I mean, you could argue that that's a happy home where the cattle ended up, you know? I mean, I guess it depends on to whom they're being served, but yeah. Right. It depends on to whom they're being served.

Right. Well, we actually, in all seriousness, we sold them to a family farm that had its own slaughterhouse, which is a very rare thing. And, you know, most animals are sent to these giant commercial slaughterhouses. And that freaks me out. So this was a small farm that had its own facilities. So it was kind of a two for one because you got to know where the cattle were going. And then that was a really good dateline. Yeah, no, it was right. And I listened to it as I was falling asleep. Right to sleep. What's your current animal count? Right now, I have three creatures.

I have a cat and two dogs. So right now, we are outnumbered because we're empty nesters now. And so there are more animals than people in my home. I have a pandemic puppy, a 12 year old dog and a 12 year old cat. How does everybody get along? Well, the cat gets along with the dogs. The two dogs quarrel about important stuff, bones, dogs quarrel about important stuff bones balls classic dog argument right yeah no and and also that's my bone no that's my bone the deficit yeah yeah no it's an endless conversation no that's my bone but also they have not worked out who's the alpha and it's interesting because you really see them because she's older and bigger, but he's younger and way more energetic. And, you know, they haven't figured it out. Like,

you know, you can plot it out on a grid and they're sort of equally matched with different strengths. In my house, it flipped about five or six years in, and just all of a sudden, the chihuahua was running the show. Oh, really? Just biting and barking and causing trouble. And yeah, my poor other dog just had to give up. I'm sorry. I know you just lost your dog.

RIP. RIP to a legend. We have no choice but to stand. All-time number one dog. Yeah, that's rough. Susan, this is no time for puns. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Susan. I withdraw that comment. that comment but you know it is so funny to see them trying to work out the social structure it's really interesting to me you know and the cat has his own kind of factors in in his own way although he gets along with everybody which is amazing he's yeah that's not not usually the position that the cat takes in the house. They are, I think, you know, stereotypically the more territorial, fussy ones. Yeah, no, he plays with

the puppy and snuggles with the older dog. And it's pretty cute. But it's, you know, it's a lot of animals. This is a nightmare. My puppy has decided that the notification sound on our phone is caused for barking. And my phone and my husband's phones are constantly having notifications. And the dog decided this is the sign of something enticing and upsetting and cause for noise making all day long and then when he barks the other dog barks and we were going crazy this is tough i had the similar thing because my cat decided that she is going to get territorial every time she hears a Gene Hackman movie. Oh, my God. All month long.

Going crazy. Oh, that's got to be tough. It was rough. It was really rough. I hope you saw the conversation. You know, it was on my list, but then Hackmember ended. I just watched the two movies. I just kind of lead an interview.

You didn't even watch Hoosiers? Oh, no. I watched Hoosiers was a popular... The French Connection? I have, I've seen both those, yeah, but they were not part of this year's Hack Member. The Conversation is a movie to give you nightmares. Oh, yeah? Oh, my

God. It's... It's a distressing film, but, you know, it's fun that they're under Union Square. Yeah. Yeah, but, oh, my God. It's a distressing film, but you know, it's fun that they're under Union Square. Yeah. Yeah. But oh my God, it's, um, it's super disturbing. It's, I think one of his all time great movies. The seventies were a time when regular movies could be very distressing. Just regular movies with movie stars in them could really upset you permanently. Yeah. And not because they were about something important either, just because the goal of them was to make you discomfited.

Well, I think there was a huge upwelling of psychological movies in that era of paranoia. And in fact, when I first met my husband, we did a paranoid thriller weekend because we both love, and nobody makes paranoid thrillers anymore. And oh my God, they are the best. I mean, you do end up damaged after you've seen a bunch of them. I mean, Susan, that sounds like a great weekend if it's Memorial Day. That's three days of the Condor.

Oh, my God. So that was number one on our list was three days of the Condor. I can understand why they've gone out of style because I don't think modern people can relate to the feeling of being surveyed. So I can kind of see why it's just all Marvel movies now. Yeah, yeah. Can I ask a question to you, Susan? So I know that you were getting involved in the reptilian world. Obviously, you're big on mammals.

Have you ever thought about a marsupial? Because it's like in between a reptile and a mammal. It's sort of like a mammal that lays eggs um it has a pouch you mean like a platypus i was thinking a koala just to keep it simple oh god actually a highlight of my life was touching a koala by the way oh really yeah when i was in australia i persuaded someone at the sydney zoo to let me touch koala. For one. Ma'am, I'm from the New Yorker.

Right. It's part of the story. Ever heard of E.B. White, ma'am? Meryl Streep played me. Let me touch the koala. Well, I tried everything. And finally. Meryl texted me.

She says, I have to touch the koala. Meryl Streep from show business. It was effective. That's all I can say. And the zookeeper is sort of grudgingly turned her head as if to say, I'll be over here. If the koala gets touched, it's none of my business. I had nothing to do with it. I see nothing. Susan, I don't know if you're in Southern California or in New York these days. I think you're in Southern California, right? I am indeed. You're on our side. So there's plenty of eucalyptus trees around here.

There's a balmy climate. And I just typed into Google, how much does a koala cost? So I'm hitting enter here. into Google, how much does a koala cost? So I'm hitting enter here. It says the annual cost of adopting a koala is $40 Australian dollars within Australia and $50 Australian dollars from overseas. Oh, it goes towards the rescue and treatment

of sick and injured koalas. Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't want that. No, no, no, no, no. I want to buy a koala bear. $3,000 to $5,000. This is a GoFundMe waiting to happen, Jordan. If we can raise $2,500 to buy Olympian Donovan Kalis a laser gun,

we can raise $3,000 to $5,000 to buy literal best-selling author, literal bestselling author, literary genius, and celebrated podcaster, Susan Orlean, a koala. Two thumbs up. This koala is friends with a boot. Stupid bear. It's not alive. I'm not a type of bear. It's a misnomer.

Did it like being touched? Did it enjoy the petting? Well, it's funny. I was a little disheartened to hear that they're actually not very friendly. And even though they look so cute, that they're not friendly. And I touched it quickly, partly because their fur looks so amazing. Yeah, it does look nice. It tolerated the touch. I mean, I, you know, I know you're not supposed to do that, but I've touched some cool animals.

I touched Keiko, the whale who starred in the Free Willy movies. Oh, yeah. That's a beautiful, that's a great chapter in your book. How'd that happen? Did you tell her that you know Meryl Streep? I said, you know, do you know anyone else who's been played by Meryl Streep in the movies? And Keiko goes, ah, ah, ah.

Right. Which means I've met Michael Jackson, lady. I know Michael Madsen. He plays the dad in this. I said, don't you think Keiko deserves to be touched by someone who's been played by Meryl Streep? That's true. She's earned it.

I was reporting that story, and I was up in Norway where he was in Dry Dock, and they were trying to wean him off his affection for people. I mean, he loved people and he just wanted to hang out and be petted and fed. And they were trying to get him to become wild. So they were not encouraging anybody to touch him anymore. Exact same thing happened when we tried to send Jordan back to the ocean. Refused.

What we ended up doing was tying him to an anchor. Oh, God, no. It cured me. I can't stand people anymore. I'm just afraid they're going to tie me to an anchor. You could tell I was depressed because my dorsal fin had slumped over. Yeah. Well, I did touch him and he felt like wet rubber i mean but it was it was nice it was a nice feeling of wet

rubber so what i that's what i feel like right and then i thought wait a minute is this jordan god damn no i was in Free Willy 2. That was me in Free Willy. Oh, sorry. That was in the sequel. Sorry. That was better. Yeah.

A lot of people say that. I'm Flipper, but from the TV reboot of Flipper. Oh, God. Oh, no. I'm not the original Flipper. Oh, my God. I blew my son's mind recently by telling him, oh, no, it was Sea Hunt. We were telling him that Jeff Bridges' father was in, wasn't he in

Sea Hunt? I think he was in Sea Hunt. I think you're thinking that we're comedian Blaine Kapach. Oh no. Well, anyway, it was, you know, young people live in the present and have trouble believing there is a past or people have parents or, you know, anything existed before they did. And it was very shocking to him to learn that Jeff Bridges' father had been a movie star and that he had been in a scuba diving show called Sea Hunt. I mean, this was it was a lot of information to dump on a 17 year old. I'm on a sea hunt diet. If I see hunt, I eat it.

Right. Who cares? Susan, let me let me ask you this. What are your top three animals to touch that you haven't touched yet? Oh, that I haven't touched yet oh that i haven't touched um oh a panda for sure yeah that's a touching bear that's a touching bear oh my god and i torture myself i follow a bunch of instagram accounts that are basically just these nurseries in china where they raise pandas and frankly it looks like they have a million pandas it seems like they have too many well it's starting to look that way i mean or maybe how

many fucking bamboo shoots could they possibly have they over corrected for a while pandas there's not enough now there's too many you've got bamboo shoots susan why not send a band over there look look behind me i've got bamboo and these um instagram accounts basically are pictures of the people who work at these nurseries just picking up the baby pandas and kind of dropping them down in other places and they're these giant, fluffy, almost liquidy critters. They don't seem to have bones. And it just makes me want desperately to just be able to pick one of those up. And I mean, I think that's probably a universal desire. I think that's why these Instagram accounts have 20 million followers. Because everybody is looking at people picking up baby pandas and just, you know, it's just wish fulfillment. You know how those Avatar movies are based on James Cameron's adventures, you know, with his undersea submarine and all that shit.

Oh, right. Terminator 2 was based on those sweet liquidy panda bears. Right. What if one of these was trying to kill you? It was made of metal. Yeah. It was made of metal. Okay.

I see that. Yeah. Look, it was a long hike, Susan. The payoff was not much. No, I'm with you. It was a pretty unimpressive waterfall at the end of that long hike. I'm with you was not much. No, I'm with you. It was a pretty unimpressive waterfall at the end of that long hike. I'm with you. Let's be honest.

I'm with you. I'd also be, I'd love to hold an octopus, although I don't know if you can hold them. I mean, I think they sort of. You can hold them. You can just can never truly know them. Yeah. Oh. They're unknowable.

That's so sad. They'll open their beak, but they won't open their heart. Exactly. Now I'm sad. You seen those baby hippos on Instagram? Oh my god, yes. Wanna touch it.

Wanna touch. Wanna touch the chubby horse. Jordan wanna touchy? Yes, I mean, I've spent probably an embarrassing Wanna touch. Yes. Wanna touch the chubby horse. Jordan wanna touchy? Yes. I mean, I've spent probably an embarrassing amount of time getting to know Fritz. That's the new baby hippo. Hell yeah. And his relationship with his sister, Fiona.

And I think they are so cute. And I had a heated argument with my son who thinks they're hideous and I just how can this be hideous? Sorry, you've never heard of sea hunts? Doesn't want to touch a baby hippo? I know, he's a... Jordan, I gotta tell you something, Jordan.

Now might be the time to reconsider your life goals. Yeah, I mean, Susan, on this show I mean, I've been talking non-stop about you know, getting a son, trying to get one, not knowing how to get one. Jordan's been feeling like he's got to get one. Got to get a son, but now, I don't know. Well, I've got one if you'd like. I could be tempted to. Okay. Well, good news, Susan. I'll float him.

Unlike a lot of apartments in pasadena jordan has his own abattoir so to send guys i have a i have a game for us this is jordan as you've been celebrating hack member i've been celebrating the fall classic, Baseball's World Series, and its attendant playoffs. And the minor league baseball season is now over, but the minor leagues spread across this great nation and of course, Canada and beyond. And there's a lot of players in the minor leagues, and this is the return of a classic Jordan, Jesse go quiz, which is which of these guys is a real minor league baseball player. Susan, this is a pretty straightforward proposition. I will alternately read each of you three names. Uh, one of them will be the real name of a minor

league baseball player. Whoever has the most points at the end of the game will be awarded one koala bear priced at between three and $5,000 US. Are you ready for this? I'm ready. Susan, you're our guest. So you're going to go first. Here are your choices. Remember, there are three and only one of them is real. Okay. Remember, there are three and only one of them is real. Okay. Tink, hence, monk, bordels, or bolt teeter.

Tink, hence, monk, bordels, or bolt teeter. Bolt teeter. That's incorrect. Jordan, would you like to steal? Your choices are tink, hence, or monk, bordels'll go monk bordles oh incorrect the answer was tink hentz a picture for the salt river rafters salt river rafters i forgot i've been following his career i know you forgot you had been doing it but then you got so distracted by these fucking baby hippos yeah you know him just by his nickname you know sometimes ball players have the nicknames

john big poppy you just know him as tink taylor soldier spy right Jordan, it's back to you now. Laser Luna Burst, Proxima Star Dream, or Zebulon Vermilion? Boy, why do I feel like I've heard Zebulon Vermilion? I'm going to guess that because it's vaguely familiar, but that might be. You're absolutely correct. He pitches for the FCL Mets. Okay. Zebulon Vermilion. Oh, man.

Apparently, he's named after, this is real a guy his mom met at the gym oh my god it's a real cool guy just a real cool guy who one presumes secretly inseminated wait isn't this the sort of the adam levine scenario where he asked his mistress if it was okay if he named his baby after her. Yeah. Yeah. I think it is exactly that situation. Yeah. Oh, my God.

This is called baby name cucking. Yeah. It's what this is. A lot of the commentary around that incident was like oh my gosh this like famous guy is so bad at sexting oh my gosh and you know i looked at him like well and you know that's it seems like kind of this is just what sexting is but that is like such a weird left turn of like no that is very very bad at sexting that's very bad that's maybe the worst sext one can send.

That doesn't make you horny at all, Jordan? I don't know. Maybe it. Did you read Adam Levine's sex that were just noises from Radiolab? Yeah, that didn't do it for me at all. Just made me want to go outside. It's back to you here, Susan. Here are your choices. Uh-oh, now I'm nervous.

All right. Vinny Bologna, Tony Ham's, or Charcuterie McGee? Oh, my God. That's so unfair. Say them again. Vinny Bologna. I mean, I guess it could be Bologna. Vinny Bologna, Tony Ham's, or Charcuterie McGee? Vinny Bologna. Vinnie Bologna, Tony Ham's,

or Charcuterie McGee? Vinnie Bologna. Yeah, you're absolutely correct. Wow. Vinnie Bologna plays for the Glacier Range Riders. I knew it. Glacier Range Riders. So the score is one to one, I think. Ooh, all tied up.

Jordan, this one's for you. Frank Gasman, Albert Burpsey, or Owen Shartz? I'm going to try and get in your head a little bit. I think that you heard Gasman and then thought of the other two. Incorrect. Headed to you for the steal. Susan, your choices are Albert Burpsy or Owen Shartz.

Owen Shartz. You're absolutely correct. That's a point for Susan Orlean. Oh my God. Daniel, I hope you're keeping track of these points because I'm not anymore. Jordan. Wait, no. Susan, this one's for you. Here's your choices. Puff Jordan,

Blaze Jordan, or Fat Rip Jordan, Blaze Jordan, or Fat Rip Jordan? Blaze Jordan. Yeah, you're absolutely correct. Blaze Jordan of the Salem Red Sox. Nice. Back to you now, Jordan. Yeah.

The fact that he got that means that I can't have that as my official name with the WGA, so... Huge bummer for me. I wanted that to be... You're going to have to be called blaze r jordan right use the middle initial forest mesa river town or backwash drainage basin uh i'm gonna say forest town that's not one of the choices wait what okay well that's what i'm gonna say is is that it i think that's it i'm sticking with it i'm sticking with it a man never backs down from his answer even if it's not a choice forest mesa river town or backwash drainage basin river

town yeah you're absolutely correct he's an outfielder for the Columbia Fireflies. I'm going to give you this one, okay? Okay. Henry Henry, Thomas Thomas, or Dorf Dorf? Boy. I'm going to say Henry Henry. Henry Henry feels good. You're absolutely correct.

He's a pitcher for the San Antonio Missions. This one's for the championship, Susan. Are you ready for this? Yeah, although I'm nervous. Okay. Ford Proctor, Yaya Chentouf, or Ocean Gabonia? Ocean Gabonia. Jordan, you want to go for the steal here? It's not. I was also going to guess Ocean Gabonia. Ocean Gabonia. Jordan, you want to go for the steel here?

It's not. I was also going to guess Ocean Gabonia. Well, guess what, guys? They're all real. Those are all real human names. Those are so great. Ocean Begonia. Gabonia? Gabonia. Ocean Gabonia.

Let's not be silly. Begonia is a flower. Let's not be silly. Begonia is a flower. Let's not be ridiculous. Oh, sorry. God, I wish. Come on, Susan. I wish I were still of childbearing age because the chance to really. To name your child Yaya Chentooforly.

Yeah. Get in there. Get in there and go nuts with the names. Yeah. Now I feel let down by my own lack of imagination. Your son has a beautiful, I can't imagine a better name than Meryl Koala Orlean. I know. It's a little different, but it's nice.

It's distinctive. It's absolutely distinctive. I think it's nice. It's to honor your beloved Uncle Koala. Actually, naming a kid is stressful. I believe it. I mean, I thought we had decided we were going to name our son Henry. We didn't tell anybody.

We just thought, you know, we'll tell people when the baby's born. So I'm in the hospital. I have the baby. I call my mom. I was, oh, you know, the baby's born. We're naming him Henry. And she said, I hate that name. Oh, jeez.

Mom. Oh, thank you. Well, jeez. Mom. Oh, thank you. Well, just kidding. Yeah, no, I mean, it ruined it. I mean. She's all name him babe or name him nothing. Yeah, that'll do, babe. It just was, even if I had thought, well, too bad, you know, it's my baby.

I'll name him what I want. It ruined it. It's like I couldn't get that out of my head. Even though you could have called him Hank? I know. That's fun. I know. I know.

It was, and I thought, how can you hate the name Henry? It's like a nice name. Yeah, that is really strange. Did she have a bad experience the name Henry? It's like a nice name. Yeah, that is really strange. Did she have a bad experience with the Henry? That is a funny, like down the middle name to feel strongly about. She must have. And I think that is what happens is people have an association with the name. I mean, unless it's a really ugly name or a weird name or, I mean, I think most of the time it's like, or a weird name or, I mean, I think most of the time it's like, oh, I had an orthodontist who I hated who was named Henry or, you know, otherwise most names are just neutral or.

Yeah. It's a regular name like Zebulon or Gabonia. Well, exactly. I mean, who, who's going to complain about that? Anyway, we didn't name him Henry. And then we didn't have a name for him for a couple of days. It was like, yeah, Baby Gillespie. And then we thought, well, what's wrong with Baby? Perfectly good name. Sure. You don't have to worry about him being put into a corner. All songs from the 50s are about him.

That's another good point. Right. No, we should have gone with it. But we chickened out. We named him Babe. You guys want to go take a break and name some kids and then come back for more?

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Disico. it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart a jordan morris boy detective now jordan every week on jordan jessico this show is brought to you by the members of maximum fun if you're not already a member you can become a member at any time at maximum fund.org slash join our thanks to all the Jordan, Jesse go listeners who have done. So means a lot to us, keeps our light on. We're also, we have one light between the two. Jesse gets it Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I get it Thursday, Tuesday, and Saturday. And we play rock, scissors, paper for Sunday. We're also supported this week by the folks at Trade Coffee.

Trade Coffee stretches its tendrils across this great nation to all the wonderful local coffee roasters in the United States. Picks out the best stuff and then personally recommends coffees to you according to your tastes. And the best part is you can really taste the tendrils. That's right. Trade coffee. Trade coffee is really awesome. I have been using it and I've really, really been liking the stuff they've been sending me. It's easy. It's convenient. And it's not just for hyper coffee snobs. If you are, I think you will like a lot of their stuff. But I'm a pretty simple coffee drinker. I make a pod-based cup of coffee in the morning that I drink with some cream.

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slash jjgo for $30 off your subscription. That's drinktrade.com slash jjgo. We're also supported this week by the folks over there at Lumi Labs. Now, Jordan, you know a little something about microdosing. Oh, yeah. Jesse, I love to microdose with my buds over there at Lume Labs. And by microdose with my buds, I mean I use the product that they produce. I don't go to the lab and hang out with them, even though I'd love to. They've never invited me, despite me talking up their product so much. Don't know why that hasn't happened yet, but whatever. Have you invited them over to your place? You know what, Jesse?

I haven't. So... What about something less? Invite them to a Super Bowl party or something. Yeah, everybody loves the Super Bowl. And even if you aren't into the game, you can watch the halftime show. Am I right? Yeah.

Yeah. Or I love the commercials. The commercials. Because some of the biggest biggest most fun commercials of the year they air during the super bowl what's paul rudd gonna do something i'll be like i'm sorry jay leno okay yeah it'd be like jay leno making out with cindy crawford probably yeah it sounds like a pretty good commercial that'd make me buy a snickers so many snickers just since

I thought of that Snickers commercial where Cindy Crawford's making out with Jay Leno. Okay. That's not a real commercial, but Lumi Labs is a real thing and they make a really, really cool product. Microdose gummies. They deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good. Jesse, I like to pop one or two of these little bad boys before bed and I get a great night's sleep when I do. It's nice to have something that you know you could use during the day if you have to work, but you want to be chill about it. Something you can use to help you get to sleep at night, as you said, or it's just something that you take, you know, you get home from work sort of

in the cocktail hour and you're just going to relax and, you know, you don't want to be zonked out of your mind, Jordan. You just want to kick back and just think about the great Jay Leno. Yeah, he never touches his Tonight Show money. Microdose is available nationwide. To learn more about microrodosing THC, go to microdose.com and use the code JJGO to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description. But again, that's microdose.com, code JJGO. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse go. It's Jordan, Jesse go.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Susan Orlean, big fat slob. I don't think a guest has ever done a nickname that's just a straight up roast. I love it. I love it. Yeah. I love it.

She's got a mostly eaten chicken leg resting on her chest right now. She's got a half shirt that says dump them out. Covered in ranch dressing. So this is the part of the show where we do momentous occasions that's when something momentous happens and i had something momentous happen to me the other day i was driving in san francisco it was my first time there and i was stopped at a stoplight and passing in front of me were three men, three young men, I would say mid-twenties, handsome guys who were dressed in a style that I would describe as like a kind of sporty 1980 gay guy like maybe like a like if freddie mercury was off to play squash maybe like short shorts neatly trimmed mustaches and colorful tank tops not graphic tank tops they had had, it was an ensemble.

They were each wearing it. I couldn't quite figure out whether this was like a retro thing. This was a subculture I was not familiar with. Like, what are these handsome boys up to? I just, I'm just, hey, San Francisco, obviously it was my first time there, Jordan, but I was like, you know, who knows what happens in what I call the city by the bay.

And I drove like another block or two, and I stopped at another stoplight. A woman walked past who had, I guess I would call it, on her lower half of her body, she had on a thong that was made of, let's say, belt straps? Okay. Like leather belt straps. Could you see cheeks? Yes. You could see all things, everything but holes, I would say. It's a classic everything but holes. Yeah, I know some movies on Showtime you can watch if that's your thing.

I'm puzzling over what's going on in my life here. I go up to another intersection and a guy walks by with a ball gag in his mouth. And I realize that I've visited San Francisco on the day of the Folsom Street Fair, which is a block party where people flay each other. Is that what that's called? They hit each other with like a cat and nine tails or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think they remove each other's meat and skin. That's something that happens on a family farm.

Sure. Yeah. So like, I want to be clear. I wasn't driving past the Folsom Street Fair. The Folsom Street Fair, like a few blocks long. This is like a celebration of like kinkiness and, you know, letting your freak flag fly, etc. Yeah. BDSM culture, all different kinds of stuff. culture, all different kinds of stuff. Getting out there and having some fun, San Francisco style. And what was really magical about it was that I was at least half or three quarters of a mile from the event itself. I had just found that, like, you know how there's that magic hour when michael bay photographs the

transformers yeah yeah just as the sun is is low on the horizon but the light is still strong enough to shoot and optimus prime is in his best mood yeah Yeah, right. He just had his little coffee. I found that, but for San Francisco, which is where a lady who's wearing underpants made of belt is just going to Starbucks for a latte. And then we'll probably stop by the fair later. Yeah, maybe she's on her way home from the fair. Maybe she's on her way to the fair, but either way, she's got to pick up her dry cleaning. But also maybe she's on her way home from the fair. Maybe she's on her way to the fair. But either way, she's got to pick up her dry cleaning.

But also maybe she's not going to go because it's such a scene, you know? Turn into such a scene lately. It's going to go to Tommy's joint and get a buffalo sandwich. Beautiful. Did you go to the fair? No, I wish I could have. My 11-year-old was with me and so was my mom. And while I would have been glad to go with my mom, my mom would have a nice time. She would enjoy it very much. It didn't seem appropriate to take my 11-year-old, as much as she loves whipping. Certainly, she loves to whip, but it's more of an adult whipping situation. We have two telephone calls from folks who have called in about their momentous occasions. Let's hear the first one, Daniel.

Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and illustrious guest. I was just listening to your episode with Chris Estrada, and it reminds me of a momentous occasion from a few months ago. I have an old friend who currently lives in Australia, and I was on a video chat with her. She was sitting outside in the nice weather at the time, and we heard this bird squawking, and she said, oh, don't mind that. That's the kookaburra. And I said, oh, is he sitting in an old gum tree? And she turned her camera around to show me the kookaburra and he was indeed in the old gum tree um so yeah thanks i love the show have a good day that's the dream touch a koala see a kookaburra in an old gum tree waltz with matilda skew it on the barbie whatever the fuck i was chatting with an aust was chatting with an Australian at a party once.

Jordan, you can say. Susan, it was Yahoo serious. Chatting with not Yahoo serious. He won't talk to me for some reason. Apparently, my emails have gotten too threatening. This is just a nice friend of a friend who was australian and i was like you know that isn't i i bet you get this all the time people come up to you and they're like you know everything you know everything's poisonous

us in australia oh there's funnel spiders everywhere it's like oh everything's got a funnel spider in it do you just get sick of that and she's like oh yeah but they're called funnel web spiders and yeah they're everywhere my apologies to australia for the accent but i feel like it kind of sold it you know yeah you had to sell it with that accent otherwise it wouldn't have really felt like young einstein himself yahoo sirius so they're called funnel web spiders, apparently. Funnel web spiders. I thought there were not poisonous things in Australia.

I thought that was the whole point of living there. No. I just happened to have on that same trip where I saw all these almost completely naked people. I was listening to the audio book of Bill Bryson's In a Sunburnt Country,

wonderful travel book about Australia. The main thing I would say it was about, other than people in Australia being friendly, except to the indigenous people of Australia, it is about different things that can poison you in Australia. There are some things that will just straight up eat you, but most things will poison you on that island. I was going to mention this during our koala chat, but aren't they supposed to be riddled with syphilis? Isn't that the thing about the koala is that it is constantly- You're thinking of Yahoo Sirius. Yahoo Sirius. I didn't know they had syphilis. That's like a fact that I know that I do not know where I heard it.

I cannot source this fact. Is it maybe salmonella? Okay, so here's my top. I started typing in koala syphilis. I got koala syphilis. Then I got koala syphilis w Wiki, which sounds like an unusual wiki. I'm not going to lie. I know that there's a wiki for everything.

Like every anime has its own wiki, but go to the Muppets wiki or whatever. But Koala Syphilis Wiki seems. Then the next one is Koala syphilis One Direction. Did one of the members of One Direction get syphilis from a koala? Was it Zane? That's a rumor we should start. Yeah, let's get that one going. Yeah.

Do you think it was Zane? I think it was Zane. I think it was probably Zane. Zane loves to smooch those koalas. The next one was, can koalas be cured of chlamydia? Oh my God. You know, there's this hilarious game you can play that my son, not to cite him too many times in the show, but he showed it to me. But he showed it to me. I forget what it's called, where you type something into Google and then you guess what the suggestion will be.

And it's absolutely insane and hilarious, you know, showing what the most common fill in would be from whatever the start of your sentence is. Let's give this a go. I'm going to do it. Does anybody have some suggestions for something I should type in or should I just go off the How about can koalas get syphilis? That seems like a pretty good... We're already on top of that. And by the way, for koalas with chlamydia, relief is finally in sight. Which, by the way, is a sort of like a sarcastic headline since chlamydia causes blindness.

Oh, my God. Well, what I like about this article, which I'm looking at on LiveScience.com, is it has a picture. It has a picture of a koala eating some foliage. And he's like, yeah, i cured my fucking syphilis when i typed in can koalas get the autofill was rabies chlamydia drunk cancer and wet can koalas get wet sounds like there's a guy out there having trouble pleasing his koala wife. They're thinking of gremlins. Oh, my God.

That is. Okay. I'm going to type in Jordan has. See. Jordan has no life. Oh, man. Google's got my number. You know what?

If you put in my name. I mean, I've done this before where I Google my name. and the first thing that comes up is Susan Orlean Net Worth. Yeah. It's very creepy. I would love to have the net worth that Jesse Thorne Net Worth says I have. Oh, I mean, who does these things i mean if you click the link it goes to some completely phony website that comes up with these invented numbers networthpost.org yeah are these like are these like ai generated things just because people know that people ask that question so much or is there

someone just pounding out these articles for every single person who's ever been famous? I don't know. I think these are generated by computers. Susan Orlean, $13 million. Congratulations on that, Susan. Thank you. Yeah. I feel pretty good about it. I mean, you know, How To With John Wilson is a small show, but they pay unbelievably well. Yeah, it is pretty extraordinary. That guy who wanders around New York with a camcorder pays. Yeah, I mean, the $12 million paycheck surprised me, but I accepted it warmly.

Well, that's because you were there past dinner. So when you get past dinner, you get kicked into another time thing. Right, right. And it was a union job, so it was, you know, even better. I mean, if you knew what the Teamsters got paid on that shit to carry around the camcorder from

New York Street Corner to New York Street Corner. Oh, it's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. Taking footage of scaffolding daniel we got another call in there uh i just left a doctor's appointment and the car parked next to mine had a sticker that said my ibs is chronic but this and then there's an image of a peach is iconic wow i think that's really great. Can you repeat this? My what is...

My IBS, irritable... Irritable bowel syndrome. Although maybe it's another acronym that we don't know. My, you know... But I guess it's related to the peach. So anyway... Yeah, and then the peach means a butt, right? Peach is a butt, yeah.

So if a peach is a butt, and IBS is irritable bowel syndrome, of course, bowels are connected to butts, it means that they have... What does it mean? I mean, I think that... How do these pieces fit together. No, I think what this is, is this is someone who has, you know, a medical condition that they have been ashamed of their whole life. Right. And they're what they're doing is they're kind of taking back the power. They're kind of saying, I'm I'm admitting that I have IBS to everyone I drive by. Right.

But that doesn't mean that my turd cutter is any less iconic you know yeah like one of those it says keep listening i'm listening to the tummy rumblies i got because i shouldn't eat onions from the iconic alice coltrane album, Universal Consciousness. Yeah. I mean, I think this is inspirational for me as someone who suffers from a medical condition that, you know, they can get, but they've been embarrassed about their whole lives. And I, I want to just take this minute to say my eczema may be itchy. So don't you make me bitchy. Thanks, Jordan. eczema may be itchy so don't you make me bitchy thanks jordan so i misheard and thought that it was my ivf is chronic and i thought whoa i'm lost here i'm really lost in vitro fertilization? Is that? Yes. Yeah. I thought, whoa, I'm I've got, I'm constantly being fertilized. It's

chronic. Yes. That's and I thought, wow, that's horrible. Yeah. That's a horrible thought. You know, bumper stickers. My God. Do you have a bumper sticker? I feel like we kind of deserve one of those bumper stickers that says

keep honking you know those keep honking bumper stickers like keep honking asshole i'm gonna you know they say you can read it then the bitch fell off so keep no no they say like keep honking i'm listening to alice coltrane's 1971 Meteoric Sensation Universal. I mean, we should have one that says like... Keep honking. I'm listening to a podcast that's the example of what people make fun of when they make fun of podcasts. Yeah. Keep honking.

I'm listening to... We need suggestions for this. We're not copywriters. A story about San Franciscoisco than a joke about waluigi pretty much listening to some nonsense and then a little virtue signaling at the end something about fucking hacky sack bringing up for often an affectionate but also contemptuous manner honking i'm listening to the same five stories recycled over and over again and chris fairbanks is on once a year i mean these are all pretty good i've never seen a bumper sticker that said keep honking really i don't think so it's a relatively new phenomenon people

kind of you like i'm i think i've seen keep honking i'm listening to this makes total sense but i'm listening to the classic movie the mummy starring brendan fraser stuff like that it's just kind of like a thing people like and it's like keep honking i'm listening to like a hyper specific thing and it's sort of like i'm going slow so you know tough shit keep honking yeahking. Yeah, yeah, sure. Got it. You guys want to do a little honking and then come back and close out the show? Yeah, if this show's a honking, don't bother donking. Yeah.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Her Majesty served Great Britain and the Commonwealth loyally for over 70 years. And while, of course, we feel a profound sadness, we must remember she lived a long life and died in such a way that I think many of us would want for ourselves. She was at home, surrounded by her family. And, of course, she was listening to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi-award winning comedy podcast and you can find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

You're in a theater. The lights go down. You're about to get swept up by the characters and all their little details and interpersonal dramas. You look at them and think, that person is so obviously in love with their best friend. Wait, am I in love with my best friend? That character's mom is so overbearing. Why doesn't she just stand up to her? Oh God, do I need to stand up to my own mother? If you've ever recognized yourself in a movie,

then join me, Jordan Cruciola, for the podcast Feeling Seen. We've talked to author Susan Orlean on realizing her own marriage was falling apart after watching Adaptation, an adaptation of her own work, and comedian Hari Kondabolu on why Harold and Kumar was a depressingly important movie for Southeast Asians. So join me every Thursday for the Feeling Scene podcast here on Maximum Fun. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne,

America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Susan Orlean, still a big fat slob. She lit a joint. She's scratching her toes. I'm just getting into it. Yeah. Susan, you have this new podcast called Book Exploder. What books have you exploded thus far? We have exploded Pachinko by Min Jin Lee,

American Marriage by Tayari Jones. We exploded The Hours by Michael Cunningham and my very own library book. Oh, you self-exploded. I did, which is... Wow. Yeah, I mean... If I could self-explode, I'd never leave the house.

Really, I highly recommend it. And we've got some other really good ones coming up, but those are the ones we've exploded so far. And it's really been great. You know, we take one passage in a book and I talk to the writer about kind of the nuts and bolts of this passage and sort of break down how they wrote it. And, you know, we try to pick a passage that is interesting either because it was very hard to write or it's very important to the book or, you know, there was something interesting going on around the writing of that passage. So it's really it's really been fun. And it is something that I've done with Rishikesh Herway, who does Song Exploder. So basically, he's a guy who's into explosions in general.

Sure. Like Kurt Explodo Anderson. Kurt Anderson came on the show, and that was his nickname. Maybe the greatest nickname of all. Oh, really? Maybe the greatest of our nicknames. Nothing against Big Fat Slob, which is excellent. Thank you.

But it was hard to top Explodo. Listen, I was under pressure. I didn't have a lot of time to think about it. Sometimes great stuff comes. I mean, you didn't have the gift of Explodo being your actual childhood nickname. Oh, my God. I mean, and actually, I very briefly thought about, Oh, my God. I mean, and actually, I very briefly thought about I had a really weird childhood nickname, which was Bobby Brown. And it's weird because it's not very nickname me. It's like a name of an. It's just another person's name. Yes. If somebody called me Bobby Brown, I'd say, don't be cruel.

If anybody called me Bobby Brown, I'd say, don't be cruel. And, you know, this was way before the kind of horrible Bobby Brown himself. But everyone in my family called me that. Everybody. And there were times when my brother and actually my sister sometimes would call me Robert when they were being very formal. And it's just such a weird nickname. And I can unpack how it came about, but it's still completely weird, but it totally stuck. And even now, my brother and sister call me some version, you know, Bob, Robert, Bobby, or just Brown. I love just giving somebody a name as a nickname.

Just a different name. I know. It's really weird. It's very weird. Did it have a reason to exist? Not really. I mean, I can unwind it for you, but it's so, it's so not quite, it doesn't make any sense. And it wasn't associated with anything. There was no, we didn't know anyone named Robert Brown.

I mean, there was no, it's just very odd. And it totally stuck. It's like that kind of that thing of like how you have the nickname for your pet. And you can kind of trace it to something that sounds like their name. But like if your dog's name is Spot, if you have it long enough, you will call it Chintz Choke. But you have to go, it's the result of five different nicknames you know and that sort of happened with this but it's still a very long winding road and then lo and behold it ended up in this version and it's stuck completely and even my parents not my dad but my mom called me Bobby a lot.

Well, if you want to listen to Susan's new podcast, just open up your podcast app and search for Bobby Brown. Just search Bobby Brown and you'll get right to Book Explorer. Right. It'll pop. Bobby Brown Net Worth. That'll pop up too. Yes. That's the best way to find the podcast.

Right. Right. But anyway, it's really, I love doing the podcast. It's really fun. And I like talking about the mechanics of writing. You know, it's really interesting. And writers don't talk to other writers that much about the process. So it's really fun. Yeah, I can't wait to listen. Yeah. Susan, you're such a good talker to people. You really like, you can really get to the heart of somebody. And I think that's what I like about your writing. And I'm sure that's one of the best parts about the podcast. Oh, thank you. I also want to recommend Susan came to Max Funcon a few years ago and gave this talk about finding stories, how she finds stories. That's one of Susan's great gifts.

Susan is a wonderful writer. She's maybe the best in the world at small, illustrative, and amusing details about things. And she is a person who is extraordinarily gifted at entering a situation and finding the special story of that situation. And she did a talk at Max Fun Con on that subject that I think about all the time. Like I truly think about it all the time because it's a skill that I sure don't have, but I learned so much from that talk and was so inspired by it. So people should look on YouTube and watch that shit because it's much from that talk and was so inspired by it. So people should look on YouTube and watch that shit because it's illuminating. It is entertaining and illuminating as you would expect nothing less

from Susan Orlean. So go subscribe to Book Exploder, go buy on animals. You can't go wrong with any of these fucking things. Susan Orlean is a fucking legend. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And you know what? If you're lucky, she'll let you touch the goddamn koala i spent five thousand dollars on it jordan wow it's on the way huh yeah you ordered it while we were talking i'm on my way to studio city to touch it right now yay oh my god that's the bad usually I get a tote bag, you know. I mean, you guys are really upping the merch. Oh, yeah.

We get you a syphilis ridden animal that you have to take care of that doesn't like people. Wait, wait. I thought they had chlamydia. Now I'm very confused. Yeah. I mean. WNYC has been given out servals with HPV. We got to compete.

Our producer is Daniel Zafran. Our theme music, Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. Our producer emeritus, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. You can find us on Reddit, maximumfun.reddit.com. You can find us on Twitter at JordanJesseGo, where we receive the following correction from at Tim Reinvented. In relation to Honey, I Shrunk the Audience a few episodes back,

Honey, I Shrunk the Audience pre-show was hosted by Eric Idle, not Michael Palin. Also, it replaced the Michael Jackson spectacular Captain EO. They wrote the uh in there. Yeah, they wrote the uh in there, which I think was... For maximum splaining. Yeah, that was fair. And I think the best part of this is that until the Jordan Jesse Goh account like this, the only like was from Eric Idle.

So thank you,ic idol comedy legend legend of comedy go on jordan jesse go eric idol we're working on it does anybody know eric idols get him in there get meryl on here susan let's make this happen get nicholas cage i'm on it i'm on it i'll be in touch i'll have my people get on the horn with your people. If you can't get them, just send us one of those black Angus's. I got a chest freezer. Let's go. Oh my God.

Just send us a gift card for black Angus. Yes. Hey, thank you for, it's great to talk to you guys. Yeah, this is really fun. It's always nice to talk to you and uh we'll be back next week on jordan jessica i'll hug you and kiss you and love you love you love you love you maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported