Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Emmy Measuring Contest, with Joey Clift and Nick Adams

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

Jesse is on tour this week, which means Jordan is joined by two hilarious co-hosts Nick Adams (BoJack Horseman) and Joey Clift (Gone Native.tv) for a chat about Emmy nominations and more!Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use JJGO for 30% off + Free ShippingGo check out all of the delicious options at Nuts.com/jjgo. You’ll receive a free gift and free shipping when you spend $29 or more!Jordan wrote a brand new graphic novel called Youth Group which you can pre-order now from Pegasus Books!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jordan Morris. Boy detective Jesse Thorne out on the road with John Hodgman, entertaining America, doing the Judge John Hodgman podcast live. So I'm here. He's not. But lucky for you, the listener, who I love, I've got two wonderful co-hosts with me here today.

That's right. No guests here. I would never insult these two by calling them guests. They're co-hosts. We are all equals. And we're doing the show here for you today. Our first one is a beloved returning co-host whose work you might know from BoJack Horseman, Black-ish, and the new Goosebumps show now streaming on Disney+. It's Nick Adams. Hi, Nick.

Repeat back in the house. Thanks for the plug. Very timely. My episode just aired. Oh, my gosh. Great stuff. Great stuff. Goosebumps. Very spooky. We'll be talking about it.

I do want to know, Nick, you have a tradition of being totally fucking shit-faced every time you're on this show. I've been drinking all morning, like tailgating. on this show. I've been drinking all morning. If you see Nick on the street and tell him that you like him on the show, he won't know what you're talking about because he is so blackout during these. I do want to know what drink you're having for your record drink for today. I usually drink beer. I'm not a big IPA person, but I'm my local bodega to steal an East Coast word.

Elysian Space Dust IPA. So you find folks at- Oh yeah, it's got an adorable little cartoon hop on the can. Yeah, yeah. It's very, not too skunky, but- Yeah, I mean, I think with those IPAs, listen, we all went a little wild with IPAs there for a while. It got crazy, it got crazy. It got crazy. I think with those IPAs, listen, we all went a little wild with IPAs there for a while. It got crazy.

It got crazy. It got crazy. I think I am ready to admit that an occasional IPA can be really tasty if it's fucking ice cold and it's not the double or the triple. I can have one and it's great. I cannot have more than one. But yeah, I'm ready to take a more measured look at IPAs these days. Yeah, yeah, just every now and then. Every now and then, absolutely.

It's like heroin. Once in a while when you're recording a jazz album, it can be great. Oh, boy. Okay, Kitty on Cam. Kitty on Cam, we're recording over Zoom. This is another topic we'll have to – Yeah, we'll dig into that later. Yes.

This is bolly. Look at those toe beans. I wish this was a video podcast. It's not. My second co-host today is new to the program, a writer behind the new Comedy Central web series, Gone Native, animated comedy shorts about the weird stuff Native American and indigenous people deal with way too often.

The, I think, as of this week, Emmy-nominated Joey Clift. Joey Clift, hi. Yeah, hey, everybody. Yeah, Emmy-nominated. I'm a writer, consultant, and producer on a show called Spirit Rangers on Netflix. We were nominated for seven Emmy Awards this past week. So really excited about that. And I got to say, I know I'm new to the podcast.

I know Nick has a tradition of having a few drinks before being on. So I decided to kind of join that tradition. I didn't have any drinks. I just took a little, little, little pinch of meth before getting on. So, you know, it's very, it's a homebrewed IPA meth. Just a little bit, just a little bit, just, you know, just to take the edge off or add the edge. I don't know what meth does. So Joey will be leaving the show periodically to take apart a dishwasher.

When you said a little pinch, I pictured it like dip, you know, like just a pinch between your cheek and gum. Like just take a little meth and just jam it in there. Yeah. Well, the weird thing is I tried doing a little pinch between my cheek and then, you know, it just felt so good. I just kept going. So it's really more of a fistful at this point.

Who's to say? Just like grandpa had when he was whittling on the porch just a little a little pinch or fistful of mad i have you saw my son i also have a 12 year old daughter there were my wife is native and like it felt like there was this explosion of shows for kids right as my kids aged out of it there's molly from denali you Denali came out just as my kids were like, that's cute, but they're into older stuff now. Oh yeah, for sure. I've written a couple of

Molly Denali episodes too, and it definitely does feel like the shows that I write on, they tend to be kind of bridge age, which is like age four to seven. That's kind of where Spirit Angels and Molly of Denali kind of exist in. And I get that from a lot of people that are like, this looks so cool,

but I'm a 42 year old man. And I'm like, I don't know. Just like put it on in the background. It at least sounds fun. You know, yeah. Nick,

you, the Adams family, your family, not the, you know, not the titular spooky, ooky, kooky. Wendy Adams. Not the titular Adam's family. Creepy, spooky, ooky, kooky. 1D Adam's family. Yes.

The Nick Adams family. You guys are a cat fam now. There's a new cat. My wife and I had cats before. And then since we've had kids and where we've lived, we weren't allowed to have pets. And then finally my wife asked my landlord very nicely because my kids have been complaining about it for a long time and then we yeah as a couple of months ago we were getting holly is that your first huh is that your first did you have a couple uh we had my wife and i when we were younger had cats but this is so like this

is our our kids this is our first time dealing with pets. And so they're like over the moon. It's crazy. They're very, very excited. Yeah. Oh yeah. I definitely feel like I'm living that life of, I am a huge cat person. I love cats.

Um, but I like just have a roommate who's not a cat person. So I don't want to like force cats and somebody who doesn't love them. So actually I created a Facebook group for LA area comedians to share pictures of their cats. It's called the LA underground cat network. It has 16,000 members. I'm one of the members. He's one of the members. The cat's very cute. It's called the LA Underrun Cat Network. It has 16,000 members. I'm one of the members.

Yeah, he's one of the members. The cat's very cute. It's the best thing on the internet, I'm going to say. Oh, great. And it's definitely just so I can like kind of experience cat ownership by proxy. So I totally get it. Yeah. We went to a cat cafe when we were in Santa Barbara.

Not the last time. Oh, nice. Yeah. And it was fun, our kids. But then they give you these like the churros, which is like this kind of liquid, not the last. Oh, nice. And it was fun, our kids, but then they give you these, like, the churros, which is like this kind of liquid, you know, cat thing. Yeah, it's cat goger. Yeah. Cogger for cats, yeah. And you can feed it to

them, and it's supposed to be this calm thing where you just, but they all just, like, every cat that I've ever seen gets one lick of it, and they become a crack, like, they just are, like, a fiend immediately. And their claws come out, and they're, like, biting the thing and trying to snatch it and run away with it you're like this is terrifying now yeah it definitely it definitely like you can see in their eyes them reverting to their feral state yes yeah and she does that for like certainly if we give her like

i was making shrimp and i just like cut a piece of shrimp up and gave it to her and she does it with stuff like that like real actual food or just a receipt that hits the ground she will grab it and run away with it as if it's raw venison or something like I mean that's that's definitely how I feel whenever I try to pet a cat's cute little belly is like you know it feels like it's purr and it's having a good time then I touch the belly and they're immediately just like like you know I think with those little tubes you're talking about nick those little kind of squeezable gogurt tubes of cat food uh there is a pinch of human blood in each yeah i think that is why you see that look in their eyes they're just trying to slowly acclimate them to like thirsting for human flesh like over time yeah Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The look in their eyes is like, oh, fuck domesticity.

I'm out. I want to be wild again. Yeah. No, you don't. There's coyotes out there. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah.

That's something I love about cats is like I remember a friend of mine growing up had this like really big black cat that was like very cute, but also very much like an alpha cat. And it kept on trying to get out of the house. And one time like it got out of the house and was out of the house for like two days and uh it was very aggressive before it got out of the house and then it for sure got into a fight with like a possum or something like that and then like came back into the house and for the rest of its life was like the sweetest most like domestic just like yeah i've realized that i'm not as tough as i thought i was tried to put me in a pouch.

And I don't want to go in a pouch. Instantly humbled. Instantly humbled. Yeah. It was definitely a cat that like fucked around and found out and was like, actually, inside is pretty great. Sure. It's like when, yeah, it's like when Donald Duck makes his nephews smoke all those cigarettes. All right.

Only way to learn them. I guess I feel like I've heard that cartoon referenced. And to talk to a kid now and it's like, oh, yeah, there was a cartoon that we watched when we were kids where Donald's nephews smoked a bunch of cigarettes. It was anti-smoking, but there were cartoon characters who smoked a bunch of cigarettes. It was anti-smoking, but it was sponsored by Marlboro. Yes. Yeah. It's pretty great i take i live near new beverly the new beverly theater here in la and so i go there

from time to time it's it's incredible and like if they're showing a space jam or a goofy movie before the movie they play you know classic trailers there's like a short and invariably in every one of those cartoons there's a moment where every kid in the theater is basically like what what is they're letting him do this or they're letting him say there's some action in the cartoon and they look at you like huh and you're like yeah this is what they used to be sure do you do you when you show your kids that animation from like that era, do they like it? Or is it like, my son?

No, I would, my son is very much into like, um, like sort of nineties. Like it wasn't a great time for animation. It was like at that point where there was still some sort of like creativity,

but it was also just like, just churning out, like just whatever we can make a show out of it. But something about that sort of mid-90s. Yeah, we were starting to maybe get the occasional Tiny Toons or Animaniacs. Like Batman the Animated Series or something. Oh, sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But most of it was still that crank it out. So we can push plastic so we can sell toys. There's a really bad Sonic the Hedgehog one. My son loves Sonic. And I was just like, I don't even think this one is highly regarded. You know, because I was in college, I think, at the point when that was coming out. And he just, like something about the way that look of that era, he just loves it.

He can't get enough of it. I mean, there was actually, there was two Sonic the Hedgehog cartoons at the same time. One of them was like a little bit more slapstick. And another one was a little bit more like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. So like I remember one of them being very good and the other one being like this went for half a season. I get there have been Sonic shows on. You know, it's one of those things like Ninja Turtles

where it just keeps going. There is like a post-apocalyptic Sonic where they're like it's like Terminator 2 Judgment, but Sonic is a rebel trying to prevent the apocalypse. It's like, this might be a little too dark. Maybe we went a little dark with Sonic. It's so funny to me the controversy of animated characters and cartoons over the past 50 years or whatever and how it's swayed. I feel like in the 60s and the 70s, it was just like there's literally a cartoon mouse murdering a cartoon cat like every five seconds and then the 80s it was just like bart simpson talks back to his dad we should cancel this show yeah yeah

what happened what and talk the the best i love those time and jerry's where there's just like uh like basically like a mammy character it's them oh and then you see like this mammy character's feet and you hear her don't you go sassing that cat yeah what is happening right now oh yeah it's like i mean i definitely just you know like as far as native representation goes it's like not if you watch a cartoon that old you don't have to go that far before you're just like oh that's a character in red face yeah oh yeah yeah every now and then I would like find when my wife and I had, you know, we've been together

for a while now, but earlier in our relationship I would find myself complaining about the state of like black representation in media and TV and film

and she would just kind of give me one of these. Are you... Nick, for the folks listening, Nick is going, Nick is giving the

are you hearing yourself face. It's a classic what you're talking about, Willis, is what I was going for. I mean, it's wild as far as like native representation goes. Like Killers of the Flower Moon just came out a few weeks ago, Martin Scorsese film. And that stars Lily Gladstone, who's a really fantastic native actress. She is the first native person to star in a major theatrical release in the united states in probably 15 years yeah yeah and before that it was like what like who maybe like koryanka kilter you know like got to play pocahontas i mean there's there's only a handful you know

and what my wife is always talking about like to us west duty in Heat is still this high watermark because he's just a cop. He's not a cop with alcoholic parents. He's not a cop trying to escape the reservation. He's just an LAPD guy doing his job, which to me is like the height of representation where you can just be a character. Well, yeah. Well, in West Duty, he was just a funny superhero in Mystery Men. Oh, my God.

He didn't necessarily have a native spin to him. Wait, who was he in Mystery Men? I forget the character name, but he is. The Sheik? Or, like, the... Yeah, he has, like, a purple costume. It's like a pyramid. He's, like, their mentor. Okay. At a certain point, Ben Stiller is, like, Ben Stiller is, like, sees through his bullshit. And West Duty's character character said to him he's like if you do not

learn to master your rage and ben stiller interrupts him and goes your rage will become your master that's what you're gonna say is it you just turn everything around and he's like not necessarily but it's like incredible it's so funny it's like i haven't watched mystery men since it it's release um i think i remember going to mystery, maybe my senior year of high school, and it was one of those where I wasn't sure if it was a date or not. It was not. If you have to ask, you can't afford it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It apparently was not, but I did really enjoy Mystery Men. So I have not seen Mystery Men, but I have parsed together the plot of it entirely from the Smash Mouth All-Star music video. Two excellent pieces of art. It is amazing. Smash Mouth All-Star.

By the way, RIP to a real one. Yes. I'm pouring out water on my computer right now. Sprinkling a little bit of meth on my keyboard. I don't know if that, he was the meth, but, you know. I'm just saying, look, I've got to use what covers my desk right now

is what I have to use. And meth goes bad if you don't use it. Yeah, yeah. So you're better sticking it in the freezer. It is amazing that Smash Mouth's All-Star is so associated with Shrek, but it was like for the Mystery Men soundtrack. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the music video is 90% footage from Mystery Men.

Yeah. No, it's also like, it's just a great song. Like we do this thing with One Hit Wonders where it just becomes corny by default. I don't know anything else about their output other than, what is it, Walking on the Sun? That was the other song that they had that was kind of big. I't know if they like you know there's certain people where you listen to the album and you're like oh the album's actually really good i don't know if that's the case with

smash mouth i but like that song is fucking great and we do this thing with one hit wonders where sometimes we just act like oh remember when that corny song became popular and it's embarrassing and then you hear it you're like no that's a good song that's a really good song like those guys nailed it yeah 10 out of 10 no no i think our our our generation slash our like set of guys like put that song on ironically a lot and listen did i go to see them live semi-ironically yes i did but i think the reason why it was fun to goof on is because it is actually good you know like it is like you know like a like a bad unfun song to listen to is just one you want to forget but i think the reason that stuck around as a meme is because the song itself is actually is actually pretty good yeah as i've gotten, I've started to become more accepting about pop music being like

popular music being good. Like I last night I brought my girlfriend to see the Taylor Swift eras movie. And, you know, I'm not it's not that I'm not a fan of Taylor Swift. She's just not in the Venn diagram of things I pay attention to. And I got to say, we do not need the Swifties on our ass. You have to say she's your queen. Joey, she's my queen. Joey, say she's your queen. Look, I love, she's great.

But I've got to say, like, you know, that concert's full of bangers. Like, there's a lot of songs where I was like, wait, that's a Taylor Swift song? Yeah, and I think, you know, when I saw Smash Mouth Live, it was one of those more hits than you realize. And yes, I am saying that seeing Smash Mouth Live at

a building that used to be a Gelson's is comparable to Taylor Swift's Eros tour. That was my Eros tour. Which Gelson's did it used to be? It was a venue in Pasadena that's not around anymore. It was called The Rose. Not The Rose Bowl. The Rose. Smash Mouth's playing The Rose Bowl.

They're not. They're playing the rose yeah guys legally you have to take this off the flyer they will sue us so this this reminds me of um do you remember a few years ago there was like uh there was a i would say like kind of a meme on the internet of promoting concerts from popular bands from yesteryear playing in like weird locations like i think there was a facebook event that was just like Limp Bizkit's going to play at the Circle K parking lot or something like that. So when that was happening, I created a Facebook event for Smash Mouth playing a concert in the Gelson's parking lot on Franklin Avenue. And I like really promoted it. I got a friend of mine, Hunter Altman, who's a really funny LA based comedian to dress up like Steve Harwell and record videos promoting

the concert. And like, I mean, kind of, um, and we honestly among us knows what that guy looks like. Yeah. It looks like Shrek. Um, but, uh, we actually got like around 30 people who showed up to this random parking lot at like 3 PM on a Wednesday. So, uh, my friend pulled up and is like, you know, at this point, probably like 1996 Corolla that was really beat up playing like All-Star and screaming the lyrics from his car. And then we got a group photo of everybody. And I posted it on Reddit basically saying like, I planned a fake Smash Mouth concert and the real Steve Harwell showed up. It got to the front page, hundreds of thousands of upvotes. And then after two hours, people are like, wait a second. That's not the real Steve Harwell showed up. It got to the front page, hundreds of thousands of upvotes. And then after two hours,

people are like, wait a second, that's not the real Steve Harwell. He doesn't have tattoos on his arms. Despite the fact this is clearly... I've identified, yes. I know his tattoos. Yeah, yeah.

Despite the fact this is clearly a 25-year-old comedian not wearing shoes in his parking lot. None of that threw people off. My favorite, one of my favorite, one of my favorite things that has sort of come up in the last 20 years is that people figured out okay if you have sort of a

one-hit wonder or someone who's kind of forgotten they can't necessarily tour on their own but if you get three of them together yeah and they all have like four songs that will kind of yeah it's riled up and And they all blend. They all sort of fit. Like it used to be back in the day, you would be able to see like the Whispers, the New Temptations, and the Young OJs. It's like a son of an OJ. Right. You go and they all do their hits.

And you're like, that's a pretty good show. But then they sort of extended that to like Naughty by coolio and whoever and then smash mouth and who like they've found like three or four bands who can all support each other there's enough overlap with their fans that they can go you know you can have like a real concert and tour like that it's one of my favorite developments the uh the alternate of that is uh i saw a sir Mix-a-Lot concert in Washington State about 15 years ago where he played Baby Got Back three times. It was the opener, the middle, and the end.

Sir Mix-a-Lot's great. He's got a lot of good songs over that. To My Posse's own Broadway. Put him on the glass. Put him on the glass. He's got a lot of hits. Also, I mean's we can never repay mix a lot for what he did we can like as a society as a society he was the one who was

the tip of the spear to explain to non-black women if you have a big ass it's not the worst thing in the world and they were like really he was like listen trust me if you have a big ass it's not the worst thing in the world and they were like really he was like listen trust me if you have a big ass it's not the worst that could happen to you and they were like slowly but surely it took a few more years white women were like yeah i guess sir mixell i was right i mean if you look at how ass focused the culture is now and uh i'm all for it if you look at how ass focused the culture is now titties they had a great run they had a lot of hits a lot of classics they could do tits could do a package tour with like eve six and semi sonic if they wanted to there's always going to be an audience for hooters and not just for bazongas

yabos you had a good run enjoy your rest yabos but if you do look at how ass focused we are these days as a society Mix-a-Lot was so ahead of the game much like the movie

Mystery Men. Like that tonally people weren't ready for. But now all movies are Mystery Men. Yeah. Like basically all anything that makes over 100 million dollars is a Mystery Men. And also what was great about Mystery Men and movies of that ilk was that it's not an anybody vehicle. You look at that cast. It's Ben Stiller.

I mean, like, Ben Stiller, maybe. Yeah, maybe. But it was ensemble. You're right. Yeah, yeah. It was just like, it's just a movie. Kind of like affordable. Like, they didn't break the bank.

Yeah. I don't know what the return on the investment was. But, like, hey, they're not all going to be, you know, Avengers Endgame. Just, like, make a little movie. Will Kel's character get a spinoff? Probably not. Jeffrey Rush is in that movie. Oh, yeah.

God, Jeffrey. Inexplicably. Maybe off the Oscar win, too. Maybe that was his one for me. A fun fact about that movie, it was almost directed by chris air who directed smoke signals oh my god oh my god like smoke signals had its really big sundance release and then like it got offered to him and i think he turned it down so he could do more like native focused stuff but we almost got chris air's mystery man wow that's yeah and mystery man i

mean smoke signals is i mean i haven't seen all native film but that was one of the ones where you felt i felt like this was a big one for felt like this is the native do the right thing. Yeah, totally, totally. It's pretty great. Nick, I sat down and watched Goosebumps today. It's fucking great. Congratulations. Thank you.

I was maybe expecting it. Something that surprised me about it was that I expected it to be more of a kids' adventure show, but it's kind of a teen adventure show. Yeah, they kind of aged it up. Yeah, it's YA. From a writing perspective, how do you access those teen feelings? Did you have to go back and relive your high school shit to write it? Well, one of the fun aspects of it was that it's sort of like, spoiler alert,

there's a flashback to the 90s, the parents. So you get the like 90s teens, and then you get the like modern 2023 teens. So I definitely felt more comfortable dealing with thoughts and emotions and whatever coming from, you know i think any any sort of like ya or youth focused thing hopefully the thing that makes it um resonate with people is the universality and you're just like what what did i feel like at that age what was what were my fears what was i worried about um and hopefully you know some of that stuff is universal across you know time periods and race and you know financial status uh so yeah i think we just all tried to like tap into what we were concerned about what we were worried about when we were that age and also it's like you know it's goosebumps so like sure yeah it doesn't have to get too heavy it's still fun it's still light it's there will still be a creepy ventriloquist

dummy at some point yeah as long as there's a little long as there's a little monster blood, we're all happy. Yeah, so creepy. I don't know how that ever became a thing. Every human being you show a ventriloquist dummy to is immediately repulsed by it. I guess there was a time in America where that was fun entertainment. Yeah, yeah. We didn't have

a lot of options back then, so this guy can kind of hide that his lips are moving. Just go with it. Tom and Jerry had a racist character and this scary doll told us jokes. Yeah. What it was like.

Those were the days. Remember when Bugs was just cross-dressed and then like Elmer Fudd wanted to fuck Bugs Bunny? Is that what you're saying right now? Don't deconstruct it. We all kind of agreed bugs bunny as a woman is attractive yeah it's pretty hot yeah it's great bugs look great in the heyday

of bazongas ah yes that was our idol yes the last gasps of the bazookas do we know any more boob boob synonyms yeah i think Yeah, I think we've tapped out. A friend of mine from the East Coast told me once that there was a local Hooters knockoff called bazookas. And I think of bazookas often. Was it military themed?

Yeah, good question. Did they at least wear camouflage? Right, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Great question. In my mind, they were. When I imagined bazookas late at night. Look, if you worked at bazookas, if you could please just email the MaxFun email address.

Yes. You know, to let us know all of that. If you could give us an oral history of bazookas. I don't respect any pooters knockoff unless your business model is one word, bigger. If you're just like, hey, man, the only thing we can do, that's what they did with the chicken sandwich. Chick-fil-A had the amazing fast food chicken sandwich market cornered, and Popeye's was like, how about this? Bigger. Bigger and better. If you're going to do a Hooters knockoff as an entrepreneur, as a businessman, you have to give the clientele something more, something extra, just bigger, even bigger. Like that's the only Hooters knockoff that I respect.

I have a question. I have a question. Now that the Popeye's chicken sandwich has been out for a little while, I feel like the hype has died down. Do we feel like it was worth the hype? Yeah, absolutely.

I still get that sandwich periodically and I still have it. I'm like, this is so good for a fast food sandwich. Yeah, I agree. It's like a damn good sandwich. Yeah,

sure, sure, sure. Yeah, it is pretty damn good. Yeah, it's a damn good sandwich. It's damn good.

Now, do I think, now, listen, when it first came Yeah, it's a damn good sandwich. It's damn good. Now, do I think you... Now, listen. When it first came out, were there a few murders? Because... There were a few murders. But no, I saw that and I was like, maybe I'd stab somebody for one of these.

Maybe I'd drive over the curb on Pico Boulevard. Yeah. Against the traffic. I'd kneecap somebody for it. Yeah, I wouldn't kill somebody, but what I wound somebody maybe. Yeah. All bets are off.

That sandwich is pretty amazing. Yeah. I mean, I think, I think like this, like, I mean, listen,

this is, this has come up a couple of times, like IPA is like all star by smash mouth. That's one of those things where like the, the hype was weird and then you're kind of inclined to reject it but then you have to at some point go back and evaluate it on its own merits like hype aside you know cultural baggage aside is this is this good and i think that the popeyes chicken sandwich is is good it is my like there the popeyes is my like closest drive-thru so when like, you know, need a drive through or I'm craving a drive through like it's Popeyes and I'm always excited to get that sandwich.

Yeah, it also came out, I feel like right kind of like deep enough pandemic that we were just like, stop the presses. There's a new chicken sandwich. There's nothing else. It will be worth living again. Yeah, totally. Totally. It will be worth living again. Yeah, totally, totally.

The other thing I love about the fast food industry or the snack industry is that, you know, maybe you don't like the, maybe you don't go crazy for the fried chicken sandwich. Maybe that's not your thing, but they got something for you. Right. Popeyes, KFC, McDonald's. Do you want something coated in Dorito dust? Yeah, yeah. Whatever it is. The answer is yes. Whatever it is that's going to make you crazy,

we got something for you. Do you want it served to you by a buxom woman in military dress? Yeah, which we cannot confirm if that's what Bazookas has, but if you work there and can tell us, please, we need to know. As I've gone to Hooters a couple times when i was

in college i would stay with my buddy and we would at some point we were watching march madness and waiting for his our other friend to get off work and that was just a place that made sense we could get drinks and watch the ncaa tournament and i was like oh so this is what hooters is they like kind of are a little flirty and then then they come around your table more than they need to just because they're trying to get bigger tips. But one of the things that they do— More straws? Yeah.

I don't know that I need more than one straw, but sure. Just me. You have a pitcher of beer if you order a pitcher, and then they have a bag of ice in the pitcher to help keep you cold. Oh, that's clever. And then they come around, and they kind of move the ice like help keep you cold and then and then they come around and they kind of like move the ice around to keep it cold and then sure top your beer off and you kind of want to say i'm not a creepy 60 year old i don't want to flirt with you i can pour my own beer i will

tip you i'm absolutely going to tip you 20 do not like you don't worry about it but i don't want you to call me babe and like pour my beer for me. Cause that's what's happening. I can move my own ice around. Yeah. I can wiggle my ice, my bag of ice around. Yeah.

It's like, I promise I'll give you a good tip. This is not a sex thing for me. I'm just trying to watch sports. Yeah. It's not. And the wings are like fine. The wings are like fine.

So you're like, okay, but don't make it creepier than it is. Yeah. Joey, uh, something I was wondering when I So you're like, okay, but don't make it creepier than it is. Joey, something I was wondering when I was being impressed by your Emmy noms. I mean, Spear Rangers has seven Emmy noms. I'm technically only nominated for one Emmy. Let's go ahead and pluralize noms.

Okay, yeah. So Spear Rangers has seven noms. One of them has Joey's name on it. When a cat eats Joey, it's nom, nom. It's not just nom. Nobody just noms. Nobody just noms. Are you going to remain cool or are you going to turn into like a giant asshole?

Oh, definitely giant asshole. Cool. Yeah, that's what we like to hear. Yeah. Okay, so like, no, I think I'm going to try to remain cool. So this is my first time being nominated for like a big Hollywood award. So I think that I, like I found out a few days ago and it was honestly really beautiful. Like we found out while we were doing a spirit rangers color session. So we were all in the room together when the nominations got announced, we were able to

like celebrate. And, um, the, the show's creator, Chris Valencia, who's a member of the shoe match tribe is, um, you know, definitely we're all indebted for her for doing such a good job, you know, creating the show and show running such a great show. But, yeah, I'm thinking about if I win an Emmy, I will probably get a giant beaded medallion shaped like an Emmy statue that I will just have sewn into my skin. Yeah, I'm sure you could find a Hollywood Boulevard piercing place. That'll do that for you. Yeah. Just pierce the Emmy to me.

Sure. Uh, I think, uh, on the, on the Nick Adams soon, you can see that WGA award. Oh,

nice. Beautiful. The right shoulder. You can't, my Emmy. Um, my Emmy. Um,

plaque. Oh, okay. You Emmy nom. Clack. Oh, nice. Okay. You get a little certificate. Yeah, you get a little certificate. Yeah. Okay, Nick. Emmy nom to Emmy nom.

How did it change your life? I'm just going to use the bathroom while the Emmy nom leaves. Yeah, Jordan, if you could plug your ears. This is just for the Emmy nom. Right, yeah. And if you're listening and you haven't been nominated for an Emmy, please plug your ears or listen to My Favorite Murderer or something for a little bit. No, it's like I worked in entertainment for a long time,

and I worked in reality and other stuff. And there's so much of your career where you're like, I worked on this show, and your parents are like, how do we watch it? And your friends are like like i've never heard of that channel and you're like it's gone it's too late to do something and people you know you get nominated for an emmy it's like everyone is like oh wow you are good at it or you got lucky and you're in the right place at the right time and you're like acknowledged it felt like i have to

say it felt really good and i was also like if you're proud of the work, I mean, you can get nominated for an Emmy for, you know, stuff that you're just not going to care about, but I was like proud of it. So it felt good to have someone say, Hey, you know, like, good job. You guys, I don't know. Yeah. It's this weird thing where like, I, like I've been in, I, I started doing comedy when I was like 16 is when I like said my first joke on stage at a talent show in high school. I moved to LA. I forget. It was not good. I think it was just like, I think we thought of when we were 16 was good. I think, I think it was just like, ladies, I'm single or like whatever, you

know? Yeah. Yeah. It got a little cheer. And, you know, and I moved to LA, you know, after college and like really ground away and, you know, the UCB scene, you know, and I moved to LA, you know, after college and like really ground away and, you know, the UCB scene, you know, doing so many, just like, you know, like assistant jobs and stuff like that. So, you know, I've, I've legitimately been pursuing comedy in one way or another for like, you know, over half my life. So like, I think that for me, it is this weird thing of, I don't want to say it like validates my choice to follow this career

but like a little bit it's sort of you know it's like I often joke with friends in the LA comedy scene whenever we're like working a hard job of like we could have been doctors right we could be tenured professors by now yeah yeah yeah if we weren't writing like fart jokes for a living or whatever

who needs to own a home huh yeah and it's like you a home huh yeah and it's like you know it's overrated yeah and it's like you know i don't own a home i have a roommate or whatever but it kind of does feel like oh this is my i don't own a home in washington state so i and so i did this in exchange for that and getting you know a little you know who knows if we'll win you know i'm really proud of the show but like you know to get nominated it's like to get that little certificate it's like oh i feel like this is what i traded that like you know several that like half of my life i've worked for you know yeah yeah well my my in-laws are pretty much here now but they have a massive home in snoqualmie washington like outside of seattle

oh that's awesome yeah and every now and then i grew up i grew up in the Tulalip Res and I'm Cowlitz, which is Southern Washington. So I'm there all the time. But every now and then we go up there and spend time at, you know, my wife has other family in Seattle and, you know, we'll sort of hang out in the Seattle suburbs and I'll look at my wife and be like, you know, we could have done this. And she's like, no, no, no, this doesn't interest me. I'm glad we chose the path that we chose. Like that's another alternate reality.

But you do probably get to see fewer Sir Mix-A-Lot concerts. I am. Yeah, it's true. It's a trade-off. It's a trade-off. Seattle's own, right? Sir Mix-A-Lot, he's like the local boy. He's rapping about dicks driving and stuff.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Less Mix-A-Lot let's jamal crawford i'm an nba head so yeah not enough presence the united states of america in seattle you could listen to the song lump on every block chris blue would just follow you everywhere i have to say though i you know i was i got into modest mouse like after my wife and i were together just like randomly it wasn't like she introduced me to them but then going back going to washington state with her and experiencing like the weather there i'm like oh modest mouse makes way more sense like i get why you're like sad and depressed and writing the lyrics that you're writing with the weather and oh this is

why all your songs are about just getting in the car and randomly driving yeah just drive away oh yeah for sure i mean yeah like nirvana it's like oh i get why kurt cobain's like this yeah and drizzly it's just drizzly and it's not even and i love it i love it but it's i there's it's like edging you're like just rain already just like no's, I there's, it's like edging. You're like, just rain already. Just like, but no, that's like, that's the stuff where like,

I feel like I talked to people who've never been to Washington state and they'll say like, Oh, it rains all the time in Seattle. Right. And I'm like, no, it doesn't rain all the time, but it's like ready to rain.

Yeah. I just love that. Like little mist. Yeah. My wife, my wife's father is from Alaska. He's like Tlingit and Nisga'a. Oh, cool, cool, cool.

And so they moved from Juneau to the Seattle suburbs. And she was like, it rains in Juneau like way more than it rains in Seattle. So it was like, for her, it was kind of like a reprieve. Like, you know, it was better weather in Seattle than it was in Juneau. And people were like, how is it worse? How does it rain more? It's crazy. It's November here in LA, and I wore shorts today and was still hot.

Yeah. The AC is on in my apartment. Once I switch to sweatshirts, I don't go back. A few weeks ago, it was kind of chilly and I was like, time to break out the sweatshirts. And now I'm just like, I don't care what you do, LA weather, I'm not taking it off. I've committed to the bit and I'm just going to stick with it. Do you get like a new sweatshirt for the year? Oh you know that's a good idea.

I was just thinking I need a refresh. I need a little sort of feeling a little stale. I need a little sort of ironic sweatshirt refresh or like you know maybe a maybe a new MF Doom sweatshirt. Yeah what's your favorite sweatshirt refresh or like you know maybe a maybe a maybe a new mf doom sweatshirt yeah what's what's your favorite sweatshirt you own i have a bunch of there's a company called transporter and they

do they have a license with peanuts and they do a lot of nice peanuts sweatshirts and there's one it's just scott franklin the black peanuts character and it says 1969 there was the story was that someone wrote to him and was like you know you could do a lot for race relations if you you know added yeah and he was like bet i'll do it you're just like holy shit like that's amazing right and yeah so that's probably my favorite and then i have like a mad lib sort of switch i'm a huge doom fan yeah i feel like i feel like i've got a lot of sweatshirts that are like i i'm a big sweatshirt. I'm a huge doom fan. Yeah, I feel like I've got a lot of sweatshirts that are like, I'm a big sweatshirt person

when I'm in Washington, but I feel like in LA it's not sweatshirt weather very often. I've got a lot of really great sweatshirts from this native kind of streetwear brand called Urban Native Era. Yeah, yeah. Other than that, I have this sweatshirt for

Fiona Apple's Fetch the Bolt Cutters album. It's like a full body recreation of the album cover that I don't wear as often as I do or as I should. But it's just a fantastic sweatshirt. You just have to offset it with cut off jean shorts. And then you can kind of regulate your temperature to the point where you feel kind of neutral in the sweatshirt. You kind of regulate your temperature to the point where you feel kind of neutral in the sweatshirt. You know how in futuristic movies and TV shows, there's like, oh, this is the period where everyone just wears a sparkly jumpsuit. People have a uniform.

Everyone wears the same thing. Yeah, maybe you get a red one if you're a member of the techno class or something. Depending on where you are in the ship. It's like a blue one. You're a cyberman, sir. In my futuristic sci-fi world, the uniform is just like a crew neck sweatshirt and like slightly baggy chinos or khakis. Like that's, if someone said you have to pick

a wardrobe and wear it until they put you in the ground, I would happily just wear a t-shirt, chinos, crew neck sweatshirt every day of my life, weather permitting, and just not think about it ever again. So your go-to uniform is lacrosse guy? Kind of, kind of. Urban lacrosse guy is my go-to uniform. All right, wait, question for the podcast. Yes.

Where do y'all sit on jewelry? I feel like over the past couple of years, I've become kind of a jewelry guy, wearing like bracelets, necklaces, not quite rings yet, but it's like, do y'all wear jewelry? No, none for me, thanks. None? Yeah, I don't even, I think I'm very like fussy when it comes to like like clothing weight or clothing material I don't like stuff on me so I don't I don't like sunglasses I don't like watches Jordan is completely naked on this didn't want to say anything but now this was this was a gateway to have that conversation

yes I'm news during every podcast I don't like me as such i don't like stuff on me don't like stuff on me one of my phrases don't put any stuff on me stuff on me no thanks i like i like i have a massive wedding band the only man that i've ever seen with a bigger wedding band the only man i've ever seen with a bigger wedding band than me is my father-in-law so it's like the women my wife's family are like this one's mine back up um but my wife has you know she's native and so like i i've gotten just different pendants and medallions over the years that are like absolutely amazing that i would never have worn on my own. And I were sort of that stuff.

Like, yeah, that's, yeah, that's, that's, that's what I'm talking about. It's like,

that's what I'm running into is like, I go to a lot of, like I go to a lot of like powwows and events and stuff like that. And there's always just like these really dope native, like, you know, jewelry designers, amazing necklaces,

bracelets and rings and stuff. And it's like, it's the sort of thing where, you know, being likemy nominated you know tv person i'm definitely like oh i can afford to buy like a cool cedar bracelet or something but there's a great moment will it clash with the tiny emmy that you're going to get sewn into your skin though you're gonna have to oh no i mean i'll i'll definitely color coordinate it like the emmy will be gold color and then i'll probably get some like nice bronze like a a bronze pair of sunglasses or something like that. You know, just to match the Emmy's gold.

Sure. There's a great moment. I put a lot of thought into this. There's a great moment in season one of Rutherford Falls. Yeah. Great show, by the way. He's like, he's got a big meeting. Oh, yeah.

And he opens up his thing. Michael Graves opens his thing. And he's like, what am I going to go with today? And he has like these fucking kick-ass medallions. And he's like, oh, yeah, I'm opens his thing and he's like what am I gonna go with today and he has like these fucking kick-ass medallions and he's like oh yeah I'm bringing out the big guns yeah the big Minneshanka nation medallion yeah but no it's like I feel like my closet is kind of turning into that where it's just like you know whenever I go to like a big native event I'll always buy like a thing or two or something like that and now it's like over the past two or

three years my closet is just like I just don't have room for all of the like, some of them aren't even expensive. Some of them are just like a cool $20 beaded bracelet or something like that. But it's just like, it's sort of a, it's fun to accessorize with those kinds of things. As long as you're not getting into Johnny Depp territory. That's the concern. Can you hear the different jewelry clinking against each other? I do have a beaded medallion of the first album for the Hollywood Vampires. So, yes, I'm in Johnny Depp territory.

And listen, I think that concludes Emmy nominee chat. If you haven't been nominated for an Emmy, you can start listening now. And we're going to come back with some chat for Golden Globe nominees. If you haven't been nominated for an Emmy, you can start listening now. And we're going to come back with some chat for Golden Globe nominees. So if you have been nominated for an Emmy but have not been nominated for a Golden Globe, please stop listening now. We'll be right back with more Jordan, Jessica. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, going. Maximumfund.org slash join is the website to go to if you'd like to become a member. As a nice thank you, you'll get a ton of bonus content. Maximumfund.org slash join. I also want to say a thank you this week to nuts.com. This is a website that will mail you snacks. That's right, snacks in the mail. The future is here. Cashews, almonds, pecans,

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That's nuts.com slash jjgo. One more thank you this week to say thank you to LumiLabs. They're the microdose people. You've probably heard about microdosing. If not, know that all sorts of people are microdosing daily to feel healthier and perform better. LumiLabs makes microdose gummies that deliver the perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good. I love these gummies.

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off your first order. Links can be found in the show description. But again, that's microdose.com, code JJGO. And hey, one more thing before we get back to the show. Folks are telling me about their local indie bookstores where they have been pre-ordering Youth Group, the upcoming YA horror comedy graphic novel from me and superstar artist Bowen McGurdy. Youth Group, available next year, but you can put in those pre-orders

anywhere you buy books, but especially. We love to hear about them getting pre-ordered at local indie bookstores. This week, I'm shouting out PegasusBookstore.com. That's for Pegasus Bookstore there in Berkeley and Oakland, a beautiful indie bookstore where folks have been pre-ordering youth group. Again, that's pegasusbookstore.com. Head over there, type in Youth Group, and get your pre-order in. And hey, if you've pre-ordered the book at your local indie bookstore and want to hear them shout it out on the show, get at me on social media, at Jordan David Morris on Instagram. Let me know where you're pre-ordering, and I will give them a little shout out on the show. We

love our indie bookstores here on Jordan Jesse Go. Okay, back to the show. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective here with my two Emmy nominated co-hosts. I'm Joey Clift, professional cat petter. We're all doing nicknames, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've heard the show. Yeah. Yeah. No, no,

Nick, you go. Nick, slappy Adams. We're trying out slappy. No, I could never be slappy. I'm not creepy enough.

I repeat. It's repeat.'s repeat hey there it is the old nickname fake out yeah you said slappy and people were like boo that guy's no good i um i was a p well joe you mentioned uh you know moving out to lillet doing pa jobs while you while you while you you wake for your big break. I was a PA on Ellen and it was the season that Ellen said I don't want to dance anymore.

Ellen started all her shows. I'm glad she put her foot down or didn't put her foot down. Whatever, you know. People were so fucking mad. People were so hate mail that I personally had to read as a PA pa people who were incensed that it lasted two weeks she's like fine i'll dance what am i was she crying when she was dancing

after two weeks she was like i don't like this one of my favorite things i've ever read it was like a new yorker profile of um when billy joel was doing his residency at Madison Square Garden. He's just doing all these shows. And he's talking to his manager and they're going over his set list. And the manager is like, so we'll do this, we'll do this. And he says, Piano Man. And Billy Joel goes, I don't want to do Piano Man. And the way the article, the way the writer describes it is like,

his manager takes off his glasses and pinches his nose and takes a deep breath. And he's like, what are you talking about? That's you. You are the piano. Maybe you intend to be an autobiographical, but you now are Piano Man. What do you think they paid for? Why do you think they spent $395 for these? They're not here to hear captain jack yeah i really

want to easter alexa who cares it would be very fun to have seen a smash mouth concert where steve harwell said i'm not playing i'm not playing all-star and you know he had that moment at some point in his life what if we didn't do it what if we didn't do all-star guys and then his bandmates say you'll ruin the Missoula County Fair. Is that what you want? One of the most fun concerts I've ever seen was the band Everclear, who, like, let's just say the concert wasn't great. But what was great about it is the lead singer kept on acting like he was going to play a hit. And then he was like, now I'm going to play a song you've all heard from our new album.

And I'm like, the audience would would boo but he kept doing it yeah that is a like i'm i just need to amuse myself yeah i know this won't go over well but i am so fucking bored of this tour yeah playing i will buy you a new house or whatever it's a delicate dance we all know you're gonna do those new songs that we hate and don't care about yeah it's just fun to see it's just fun to see a lead singer just become a full pro wrestling heel it's like i want you to regret coming to this go ahead to boo us we'll be famous forever we're ever clear we're only gonna get bigger um speaking of getting bigger, there are some listeners who are about to have their profiles raised because they're about to appear on this show. That's right. People call us at 206-984-4FUN.

They share their momentous occasions, and they live on in the annals of podcasting history. How's that for a segue? Matt, please play our momentous occasion. Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jesse. Hey, guests. Bill Hader. I drive for DoorDash, and earlier today, I had to go to Target and pick up a lube and a vibrator for a person, then had to take it to a cash register and look a lady in the eyes as I paid for it. Anyways, have a good one. Hey, it's me, Bill Hader. I thought that's crazy.

Bill, do your famous Vincent Price impression. How would he have reacted to having to buy a vibrator for his DoorDash job? You'd think that there was some DoorDash NDA he signed, but this guy's going rogue. Yeah. That's HIPAA, bro. I think that's all HIPAA. You can't talk about that. Yeah, he's spilling the tea. Get him. Yeah, Yeah. That's HIPAA, bro. I think that's all HIPAA. You can't talk about that. Sure.

Spill him a tea. Get him. Yeah, yeah. Anne Hathaway bought some Chex Mix today. Can we just say it? You know, because this has been a thing in our society for a while. Oh, I'm buying condoms. I take a morning after pill.

Like, hey, man. Hey, man. We're all doing what we're doing. We're all adults here. Yeah, I know. I don't want to nag this guy or scold this guy. And obviously, we're all on our own journeys when it comes to sexuality. We're all on a ship sailing toward pleasure.

Sailing toward pleasure island. Pleasure island. Population, that guy yeah where all the bad children from pinocchio go to get turned into donkeys that's what i like uh like that um but yeah i i i i i'm kind of with you nick i mean obviously this this you know this guy had a moment of discomfort buying these sex items. But I don't know. Like, I think that the, if anything, the cashier at CVS, unless they're a big dorkus, probably thinks you're cool. Yeah.

You're about to go get some. Sure. Yeah. The cashier at CVS was beet red this entire time. I think it should be cvs policy when someone is buying like a family planning app item yeah that's where the section of cvs is called it's called family planning but if someone is buying like a condom or some sort of a lube you should be required to give them a thumbs up yeah i think you should be required to give a childlike giggle.

And then the receipt is extra long. Yeah. Yeah. I got to say, I had an experience a couple weeks ago. This year I've started, you know, working out, trying to get in shape. And part of that is, you know, like diet stuff, like drinking a lot of like protein shakes and stuff like that. And there was definitely a time a few weeks ago where like I went to target and all i bought was like condoms and protein shakes and it was just such a like oh i'm like such a like specific type of person if this is the only thing i'm buying from this target yeah listen throw yeah throw throw a couple other

things in there just to give the catcher the impression that you're a more well-rounded person. Yeah, not condom-scratching chicks. And just one pack of Pokemon cards. Who is this enigma? My wife tells the story of being behind Renee Zellweger. Zellwager? I don't know how you say it. I think it's Zellweger.

I like Zellwager. Zellwager. She was behind her in Whole Foods. That sounds like a Pokemon. Zellwager. Zellwager. Yeah, yeah. Zellwiger. I like Zellwiger. Zellwiger. She was behind her in Whole Foods. That sounds like a Pokemon. Zellwiger. Zellwiger. She was behind her in Rock Type, Fire Type. Yeah, for sure. She's behind her in Whole Foods and she was like all she had was apples and cucumbers.

Wow. Just like a Whole Foods cart full of apples and cucumbers. This is my Thanksgiving dinner. And the cashier was just like, wow, you really like apples, huh? And she's like, yeah, yeah. I love them.

Got to keep that doctor away, huh? But that's a weird, like, just as especially as I've, like, you know, kind of done my, like, you know, fitness journey or whatever is, like, I buy a lot of weird stuff when i go to the store it's just like here's 10 boxes of like protein enriched like special k cereal or whatever right how's that protein special k uh protein special k okay honestly okay oh this is something i'm real passionate about oh good um so there's like a protein special k that's specifically like cinnamon flavored that honestly at at this point, I have

it for breakfast pretty much every day because it's just a like a reliable meal that kind of gives you all the nutrients you need for a good breakfast. I wouldn't say that I love it, but I would say that it gets the job done. It doesn't have a ton of flavor, but because it doesn't have a ton of flavor, it's honestly a little bit better just because I have like so much of it. So, you know, I'm going to say like zero stars. I regret my life choices. I have to say, you know, everyone, every now and then someone's like, I thought we would have flying cars by now.

Ha ha ha. I thought we would have just like, no, eat this every morning. It's not bad for you. You get everything you need. Yeah. Spend 30 minutes preparing it. You don't feel bad about yourself we still haven't gotten there we still have not gotten to the point of like just have this

and move on with your life like is that what soylent is supposed to be right i think that's what it's supposed to be but it's it's what so has anybody tried soylent i have on my i worked on this show called people of earth and like at the very beginning i don't know there was like an opportunity maybe for some sort of tie-in they were like maybe maybe one of the aliens is drinking this yeah and so they we just had i don't know that that's great for their for their image like crazy aliens it's a weird slurry that may or may not be people the lizard people love this um but the the showrunner was just like it's he was like it's pretty it's not great like you know yeah because i was like yeah i would i would love to have something where

you just like i drink this every morning i don't think about it it's fine and i'm good till lunch and i like just take it that off my plate just take that one legit take take it off my plate i would that would be so great and we haven't even gotten to that point there's no way we're gonna solve climate change if we haven't figured out breakfast yet yeah i yeah i gotta say i i tried to replace my meals with soylent i want to say like five six years ago when soylent first came out and like because i'm i'm just not the best cook i will say i'm not necessarily somebody who's an expert in the kitchen and this just felt like exactly what you're saying nick of just like an easy way to kind of you know just take care of a meal or two and i feel like i did yeah yeah and i feel like i did it for a week and it just it tastes it had the physical taste

of giving up like it tasted like just like oh i've just like quit on life yeah then there's there's definitely like if you if you have enough money and you can juice enough things there's definitely a way to replace breakfast with a smoothie or something yeah the amount of stuff that you have to put into that smoothie is like 37 sure and you have to buy the hardest to wash machine that exists yeah yeah because that's part of it that's part of it the time you save just drinking the juice you will spend washing the juicer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And you're burning the calories. The calories of cleaning out the juicer, that's a part of it. Right, exactly. Your juicer cleaning arm gets jacked. Yeah, they deduct that from the calories in the bag for sure. Yeah, that's how it works. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, if the caller's listening Be proud to buy that

Vibrator from CBS And you know what? When you're there grabbing one for your DoorDash customer Maybe grab one for yourself Ooh, treat yourself And set sail To an island of discovery Toot toot

That's the ship That's the ship to the island Not in the car, don't be driving down Pico Toot, toot, toot. That's the ship to the island. Not in the car. Don't be driving down Pico. No, no, no. Yeah, wait till you get back. Yeah, wait till you get at least into your driveway. And I think, I don't know that the ship I was picturing, Joey, went toot, toot.

I think what you're thinking of is some sort of pleasure tugboat. So you went like honk, honk. I guess I'm thinking of like a schooner. Like a hardcore leather schooner. Yeah. Where everybody's real open-minded. We're all open-minded on this schooner. Well, hey, give us a call at 206-984-4FUN.

Tell us what your sex boat looks like. 206-984-4FUN. Tell us what your sex boat looks like. 206-984-4FUN. Describe your perfect sex boat. Or tell us about a momentous occasion or a moment of shame in your life. And be forever immortalized on this show. We'll be right back with a little bit more Jordan Jesse Go very soon. Hey, Sydney, you're a physician and the co-host of Sawbones, very soon. Our podcast is funny and interesting and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds of the past as well as some current not so legit health care fads. So you're saying that by listening to our podcast, people will feel better.

Sure. And isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor? Well, you could say that. And our podcast is free? Yes, it is free. You heard it here first, folks. Sawbones, Merrill Turow, Miss Guide to Medicine, right here on Maximum Fun. Just as good as going to the doctor. No, no, no.

Still not just as good as going to the doctor, but pretty good. It's up there. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. What is up, people of the world? Do you have an argument that you keep having with your friends and you just can't seem to settle it and you're sitting there arguing about whether it's Star Trek or Star Wars or you can't decide what is the best nut or can't agree on what is the best cheese.

Stop doing that. Listen to We Got This with Mark and Hal only on MaxFun. Your topics asked and answered objectively, definitively, for all time. So don't worry, everybody. We got this. We got this. We got this.

It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. Joey Clift, professional cat petter. It's Nick, repeat Adams. There's that classic nickname we all love. Yes. So a couple of Emmy, Emmy nomers here with me today. Nick Adams, Goosebumps, It's the Show, It's on Disney+.

Which one is your episode? People should watch the whole thing, obviously. As we record this episode on the 5th of November, it was the most recent episode that just aired Friday night I can't remember what the name of it is because I'm bad at self promotion but yeah check it out I think it's the 8th episode of the first season of Goosebumps

really fun show fun for the whole family one of the probably other than Blackish this is the only thing that I think my kids can like watch like we let them watch an episode of BoJack the underwater episode because there's almost no dialogue like most of my work has not

been kid friendly so it's been fun to work on something like this where my kids are of age 12 and 10 so it's kind of like right up their alley yeah it's very spooky very nostalgic has a lot of great teen feelings and past JJ Go guest Rob Hubel Rob Hubel killed Justin Long is killing it.

Really good folks involved. Yeah, a lot of good folks in this show. That's Goosebumps streaming on your local Disney Plus platform. Joey Clift, you are, of course, an Emmy-nominated writer for the shows you just mentioned, but something that I don't know if this can win an Emmy, but if there is an Emmy for funny and thought-provoking web series,

Gone Native should win that Emmy. Gone Native TV is the website where you can see this series. Joey, what can people expect if they go to gonenative.tv? Oh, yeah. So thanks so much for having me on the show and for talking about the series.

Happy to do it. It's fun. Yeah, the show. It's a series of kind of animated comedy shorts about weird stuff Native American and indigenous people deal with just on a regular basis. So we got episodes about everything from people saying that they're Native when they're not Native to non-Natives using the term spirit animal or calling a meeting a powwow to Native sports mascots. Taylor Swift is my spirit animal, Joey. No, she's not. I'm just going to say, no, she's not.

Swifties, please don't beat me up. Perhaps one of my favorites is called Dear Legendary Horror Author Stephen King. Instead of using Indian burial grounds in your books, have you thought about using European burial grounds? So voiced by Ramon Zaragoza from Ghosts on CBS. So, yeah, they're just a lot of like, you know, short, bite-sized, you know, animated videos about, you know, those kinds of things. And, you know, for me, what I really love about it is that like these shorts are, you know, just very easily digestible ways to explain these issues. But then the website actually has links to think pieces and articles that can kind of give you a deeper dive about, you know, kind of why these microaggressions

aren't great and why you shouldn't do them. So, you know, watch the shorts. And then if you want to learn something a little bit more, read the articles and stuff. Yeah, the Gone Native TV will throw, gonenative.tv, I guess I should say, we're going to throw a link to that in the show description, or you can just type it into your internet search bar. Joey Clift, Nick Adams, thank you for joining us today on Jordan, Jessica. You're both wonderful co-hosts.

Oh yeah, and Joey, also, these shorts, we should say, are animated. They all have kind of cool animation styles that are unique to each video. But we're gonna throw up the audio of one of those shorts after the episode. So stay tuned for one of the Gone Native videos and we'll talk to you

next time on Jordan Does It Go. Six things you didn't learn about Native American people in high school. According to a recent study, 87% of U.S. schools don't teach Native history after 1900. So let's catch you up. First off, Native people still exist. That's right! Instead of teaching you

that Native people are still here, your school thought it was better to teach you cursive handwriting. Number two. There are over 500 different tribes, and we all have our own cultures and customs. But instead of teaching you that, your school thought it was more important you learn Latin, a 2,700-year-old dead language! Three. We don't have magic powers, but I wish we did,

because I'd use them to make it so your school taught you that native people can't talk to animals, instead of whatever the presidential fitness test is. You heard what I said! Four, we all come in different skin tone, shapes, and sizes, which you would know if your school didn't spend a bunch of time teaching you how many wives Henry VIII had, oh my God,

that's not even history from America! And your school taught you that instead of anything about the people who were here first. Jesus! Five, we don't all live on reservations, we're everywhere. Some of us might even be your next door neighbors. And if you're wondering if we're quietly judging your school for not teaching you this,

we for sure are because you should know this. Six, also, there are like 10 million native people and no one can speak for all of us, including me. That means your dumb friend who got a DNA test that says he's one 64th Cherokee can't speak for all of us either. This stuff might not sound as important as learning how to use a recorder to play Hot Cross Buns,

but people need to learn this. Natives are still here and we're doing cool shit, like making this video. That's us. People ask native folks weird questions all the time because they don't know any better. If schools aren't gonna teach you about us, we'd appreciate it if you at least told your friends

about this and make our lives a lot easier. Thanks, love you, blah. Bonus number seven. Did you know that former Price is Right host Bob Barker is Native? That's just a cool fact. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.