Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Enjoy Your Dumb Thing, with Mike Bridenstine

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

Jordan Morris and Jesse Thorn are joined by comedian and author Mike Bridenstine who takes us on a journey through the Alt Comedy scene in Chicago's North Side.Right now, Nuts.com is offering new customers a free gift with purchase and free shipping on orders of $29 or more at Nuts.com/jjgo.Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use JJGO for 30% off + Free Shipping. Come see Jordan Morris at the YALLWEST Book Festival in Santa Monica on May 3rd and 4th. Get your tickets to see Jordan here. And if you can't make it to LA, pre-order Youth Group here for a discount.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. We're going to see how this show goes, Jordan,

and I'll tell you why. Because the steak that I ate for dinner is having a fight with the eight ounces of Coca-Cola that I drank to excite myself after I had rendered myself leaden with steak. Right, yes. You were worried about on-air food coma. Yep.

And so you took a Coke to the Dome. How you feeling? Let's check in. Let's check in with the parts of your body individually. Jesse, how's your head? Just imagine this. This is how I would describe it, Jordan. Do you know, you remember Gak? I do remember Gak, yes.

This was a Nickelodeon-branded slime product. Yeah. I mean, I think there's been a slime revival in the last five or seven years. Sure, a slime-a-sance. Yeah, so if you's been a slime revival in the last five or seven years. Sure, a slime-a-sance. Yeah, so if you know about that slime, that's also a good thing to imagine. Yeah.

Take that. Gak walked so that internet slime could run. You know those kind of floors like they have in the hospital? Like a hospital floor? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah, that's the kind.

Oh, yeah. You're painting a vivid picture. Yes, I feel like I'm there. If you took the GAC and you threw it at the hospital floor, but it's a lot of GAC, you hit the hospital floor, and then the hospital floor is shaken. Do you remember the earthquake simulator at the Science Museum? Yes.

OK, so let's get these pictures. OK. So you got a deck. You got a hospital floor. You got an earthquake simulator. Yes. OK? Yes. Then you got the steak I ate, the Coke I drank, and the fact that I didn't sleep enough last night.

Wait, so is the hospital floor, did they like, buy it from the Science Museum? Why does it have the shaker underneath? You'd think that would be bad for the hospital. Did the? Like, if you're trying to, if some people are walking, you know, have to walk around on crutches. No, no, the Science Museum bought hospital flooring

from the hospital when the hospital went out of business because of the malpractice suit. Right, yes, sure. And so they wanted something smoother because they had that grip tape on the, you may remember that the platform had the grip tape on it. Of course, yes. The administrator of the science museum

happened to have dated the administrator of the hospital. This is how that ended up. Juicy. Anyway, the administrator of the science museum wanted something on there that showed a little bit of class and was primarily, Jordan, if I'm Frank, easier to clean. Right.

Reason being, children are barfing on it and then second, of course- They're throwing GAC around. They're throwing GAC on there. And when the GAC hits the friction tape, this is why they don't let kids hold GAC while they skateboard. Sure. Because what if this, when the GAC hits the deck, it's never coming off because of that friction tape on there

So that's pretty much I'm feeling it's like that any any side dishes with the steak It's some asparagus some asparagus. Oh, great classic classic side. That was nice. I sauteed some mushrooms Those were pretty good put a little Worcestershire sauce in there sounds awesome But it's nice. Do you and is a coke something you typically have to pep up? I haven't had I've been really actively avoiding caffeine. I mean, I'm not supposed to have caffeine ever, but like, I've been really working hard to avoid it. Because the mother says no.

Because, yeah, you wouldn't believe the things my mother says. Cool, yeah. But I have many secret shames. No, it's a migraine trigger, so I'm not supposed to drink it. So when I did drink it, I also took two... Okay. ...two endomechatins. Jesse, you care about this show that much?

Yeah, enough. That you would risk a migraine? I took medication with the Coke to blunt the effect of the Coke except for the jitteryness. Oh, so you're getting crossfaded right now. Basically, yeah. You sure? The Coke cuts the steak. Fuckin' this shit is getting crossfaded like I'm fucking DJ Qbert right now.

The cuts on this are out of control. Man, somebody get, Matt, run down and get Jesse a Frappuccino and let's see what happens. Yeah, I'm interested to see if his brain explodes. Let's see what happens. How, I'm interested to see if his brain explodes. How are things in the tum department? Mixed. The tum tum. They're mixed.

I have this seltzer and my signature Alex ink mug here, tribute to the greatest podcasting sitcom of all time. And I'm hoping that that's going to settle things down. There was no ginger ale in the office. Ah, classic tummy settler. Yeah, but I'm doing all right. I think you're gonna do great. I mean, you're out here, you've been hydrating lately.

Oh yeah. The reason I know you're hydrating is because you have one of these gargantuan handled tumblers. That's true, yeah, I'm doing that thing, you know how everybody says to drink a bunch of water? I'm trying to listen to everybody. It increases the volume of your semen. Sure, I need to have voluminous loads.

Yeah. Why? So I can feel like a man in the shower. Eat celery and drink from a tubler. That's what they say. Eat celery? Yeah. I haven't been doing it.

OK. All right. Thank you. No, this is great. I haven't been doing the celery thing. Yeah. I think the celery is really good. My understanding is that celery is great for two reasons.

Number one, it's great for increasing the volume of your loads. Number two, it's going to clean your pipe so you can take it up the rear. Amazing! This solves all of my problems. It's like the perfect food for analogist all year round. There you go.

Ants on a log? Ants on a load. Yeah. Yeah. Cheers to you, Jesse. I cheers my giant Tumblr to your Alex Inc. mug. Um, you want to see? I mean, I think we were having a similar, um,

you know, how you focus up for a big podcast chat with our guests. Maybe we could check in with him, his tum, and see how he's doing. Uh, he's a comic, uh, podcast. up for a big podcast chat with our guests. Maybe we could check in with him, his tum, and see how he's doing. He's a comic, a podcaster behind Hunk with Mike, and the author of the new book, The Perfect Amount of Wrong, the Rise of Alt Comedy on Chicago's North

Side, Mike Bridenstine. Thank you. And if I may, whatever drug cocktail both of you are on, keep doing it. I think that's the perfect fuel for podcasting. The story he told had multiple metaphors. I think that was fantastic. It was working for you. I like to weave what they call a tapestry metaphor. Yeah. A tapestry woven through with tales.

Yesterday someone was shocked. I'd never had zancoup Chicken before, so I had it. Oh. And I was like, I'd like to have it again today. And then I had it too close to being here, so I probably feel the same way that you do. Zancoup Chicken is a Los Angeles chicken chain, of which there's maybe eight. I don't know.

Something like that. And it became a hipster favorite in, like, cool Silver Lake 1996 kind of situation and was name-checked on a Beck song. And then later, Zankou murdered? Yes. Yeah, there is a murder attached to it. Someone from... It's a family business,

and someone from the family murdered someone else from the family, but you gotta try this garlic sauce. The garlic sauce, I mean, yeah. I said to my friend who was gobsmacked by me never having it, I'm surprised I never heard about these murders, and he said, you heard about, you had this chicken though? That's how good it is.

Why are they advertising it like that? The chicken is not the most amazing in and of itself. The garlic sauce is great. It has, yes, the accoutrement at Zankou is pretty fantastic. And the chicken is tasty, and if you kind of mush it all together, you're getting a great meal. It's a perfect mush meal. It is 100% mush.

Everything they give you together, those pickled radishes, just put it all in one ball. But you would think, you know Just put it all in one ball. But you would think, you know, with the... Throw it down on that platform. Right, just gack it on there. Gack it on the floor. Gack it on the floor.

You would think that with the rise of true crime, that's hot. You'd think that they would lean into the, come see, come see the, I don't know if they were murdered in the restaurant. The Cecil Hotel, terrible chicken. I'd love to have, I'd love to have a full series of local chain murder podcasts.

We did Zankou Chicken podcast. There was a, there was a guy. The fat murder shouting match. Yeah, the guy in the Bay Area who ran your black Muslim bakery did a whole string of murders, as it turned out. Oh, my. Wow.

So there's another good local chain restaurant murder. I don't know, in Chicago, if there's been any murders related to Lou Malnati or anything. I mean, let's not. The Wieners circle, maybe? People are shouting in the Wieners circle, but I don't know if there's murders. But it's a... Chicago, a lot of murders have happened,

so I'll say Lou Malnati. Yeah, don't get me started. Allegedly. Lou Malnati, he's innocent. He's innocent. Mike, your book is about Chicago. It is. What are the, like... What are the Chicago rivalries?

I was kind of thinking about Chicago on the way over, and I'm like, I visit it, I like it, Field Museum, can't be beat. Yeah. Are you talking about within, like I would say, having been to Chicago a few times, one of the great cities in America, their rivalry is with all other places,

which they somehow believe everyone doesn't like Chicago. Chip on the shoulder for sure. You're like, no, this is great. We all have come and enjoyed your field museum. The bean! We all like the bean! Do you not like the bean? The whole second city thing is like them owning the fuck you from the New Yorker or something.

New Yorkers don't care though. That's the thing. New York New Yorker or something. OK, right. New Yorkers don't care, though. That's the thing. New Yorkers think Chicago is nice. It is nice, but still. So the rivalries, like North Side versus South Side, is like kind of a class base. That's a classic rivalry. That's a classic one.

Sports-wise, the St. Louis Cardinals are hated by the Cubs. There's plenty of sports rivalries. In the comedy scene, the stand-ups hate the improvisers. There's plenty of sports rivalries in the comedy scene. The stand-ups hate the improvisers. Well. Oh, interesting. Improv, or at least they did when I was there,

improv is the king of the world. The little stand-ups hate the improvisers, as do all other people. Yes. If you've ever been to a waiting room because they're always improvising. Because they're always improvising. Yeah, anytime you see a yes and,

people are like ugh, like tube socks and this character, great. That's what it's like, yeah. There's plenty of rivalries. Pizza rivalries, there's... What's the pizza one? Like, which one do you like? Or is deep dish pizza a, like, there's a New York pizza rivalry?

Or people are like, we don't actually eat that, you know, you guys know that, right? Oh, right, yeah. That's a big one. Yeah, sure. There's all kinds of stuff like that. And you know what? I have something to say to those people. Yeah.

Chicagoans who tell us that you don't actually eat deep dish pizza, that's a fuck up on your part because the shit's hella good. Yes. So you should be eating it. Eat it. Also, people who say it's a casserole, not a pizza, good for you.

Fucking great casserole, as far as I'm concerned. It's a wonderful casserole. Call it what you need to call it. Why didn't anyone else think of a cheese, pepperoni, and tomato casserole? That's a great idea for a casserole. For something that you don't eat in your city, it's sure served at all restaurants.

Yeah. Yeah. And also, if you made it and called it a casserole, people would be like, this is pizza, right? Yeah. So I think problem solved there. Yeah, yeah. And also, like, if you made it and called it a casserole, people would be like, this is a pizza, right? Yeah. So I think problem solved there, it's pizza. There's another Chicago pizza, though, right? There's like a, they eat a thin crust pizza as well.

Yeah, they call it tavern style. So it's cut into squares on a big pizza, and that's what you're gonna eat most of the time. Like birthday party. I'll have one of those on top of one of the other ones. That sounds good. It's called a combo. No. It probably is. It probably is. Yeah.

Um, do you... Are there any of these rivalries that you yourself hold in your heart, maybe even despite knowing a little bit better? Absolutely. I am quick to hate anything that's put in front of me that isn't immediately exactly what I do. So, yeah, sure. But then I me that isn't immediately exactly what I do, so yeah, sure. But then I'll think about it and I'll be like, yeah, they're fine, probably.

Wait, so you're talking about plumbers? They're necessary, yeah, if they're in my way at any time. You know, I'll be like, you know, that sort of thing. The Cardinals, the St. Louis Cardinals, probably fine. Don't care for them, you know? Right. If somebody, Ozzie Smith did back flips. Great.

This guy's nothing but class, Ozzie Smith, the Wizard of Oz. But he won a lot, and the Cubs did not. What about Willie McGee? What's your problem with Willie McGee? Too handsome. Willie McGee was a very, very not handsome man. Oh. Charmingly so.

Sorry, Willie. So if you're listening, Willie, we love you. You got nothing but love for San Francisco native Willie McGee. Would have taken you on the Cubs, not in right field. That was the Hawk. So, anywhere else. What is the, where are the Cubs now?

Cause they were lovable losers before, but maybe they won a little bit? They won in 2016 and then the unceremoniously ditched all of the star players in one fell swoop and they're in a rebuild. And I was kind of like, when they did that, I was kind of like, maybe I'll watch the Dodgers for a while. I think really there is a very powerful phenomenon going on

right now in specifically in the sport of baseball, something that's been going on the last 15 years or so, which is, you know, the Red Sox and Cubs were the legendary loser teams of baseball, like the bridesmaid teams usually, like they weren't, it wasn't so much that they were always so awful, it's just that they-

Cubs didn't have a date, the Red Sox were bridesmaids. Okay. And then they both won the World Series, you know, 10, 15 years ago. And then, uh, there has been this thing ever since, which is just, like, trying to figure out, oh, were those people that liked them this toxic

the whole time? And they were just not noticing it because it was cute because they lost so much? It's funny to rewatch, like, a Steve Bartman documentary. Steve Bartman was the guy who got blamed for ruining, like, one of their... Jordan, you would know him from this song, -"Do the Bartman." -"Ah, yes."

It was about him, huh? Famous, Do the Bartman. He... Unfortunate name. Yeah, he had a... They say Michael Jackson wrote that. Is that true? No, there's some boy I read something about this recently No, I think that was there was lore that Michael Jackson did write do the Bartman because he was such a big

Kevin Smith wrote do the Bartman Michael Jackson wrote Good will hunting there you go But yeah so I think I think Michael Jackson was like in there when they were recording it and like said a couple things that made it into the song, but the guy who actually wrote it is very mad about that rumor. That's fantastic. Yeah.

This guy went into hiding. The guy that missed the... He missed a foul ball. Moise Salou blamed him for it. The Cubs blew the game. The Cubs fans all at once wanted to murder this guy. And I go back and watch like a 30 for 30 about it I'm like we were all angry toxic pieces of shit the whole time the whole time

Like Sammy Sosa like the whole steroid era brought in fans that were just kind of bandwagon II and The type that stand up and cheer for any fly ball. They think it's a homerun And the type that stand up and cheer for any fly ball, they think it's a home run, low IQ baseball fan, like don't know the game very well. And so I think that that added to it. Just, yeah, I agree with you. I agree with you totally, you're toxic. But the ones that stuck around, great people,

wonderful people, and I consider myself one of them, yeah. Where do you think the like everybody hates us thing comes from in Chicago? It's cold. If it's not true. It's cold, I don't know. It's not, it's also hot. It's also hot.

So, you know, there's, it's either way too hot or way too cold. Yeah, the weather in Chicago is an unendurable misery. Like it is an unspeakable nightmare. Like, everything else that I've probably been to Chicago five times, I've had a great time every time. I love the city. I love being there.

It's a beautiful city. Like, it's exactly what I want to see, which is just like a bunch of 100-year-old buildings. Fuck nature. Like, I just love looking at buildings. Chicago's amazing building looking at city. Yeah. Amazing museums.

All these wonderful, wonderful things. But it's a fucking nightmare. I can't. My brother lived there for a while. I'm like, Brendan, I'm not going to come visit you. It's a negative 175 degrees with 80 mile an hour winds. Now, everybody in Chicago listening to this, more chips on shoulders.

I think referring to the Midwest as flyover country, people in the Midwest hate that. They do it a lot. They do it a lot for people who hate it. Yeah, it's also true. I don't think I've ever heard a coastal person talk about flyover country, but I have heard many people from the Midwest talk about it. I think that the stereotype of the coasts

is that we out here hate them there. Yeah. And so they're like, they hate us, right? Like, that's just, you know, when people from LA would come and do stand-up in Chicago, they'd be like, this next guy is from LA. Collectively, you could feel the whole audience go, fuck you. We don't like that.

Thank you chicken isn't that good. It needs the garlic sauce. Tell you what, I'm happy about those murders. I'm glad that whatever horrible thing happened, happened. We don't know enough about, just talk about in any kind of intelligent way, we only heard about it. And they all say allegedly at the same time. Allegedly, that's nice of them though.

They don't wanna say anything. Midwest is nice. Yeah, they don't wanna say anything liable, so. Now Mike, as we record this, the University of Iowa is in the NCAA Women's Basketball final, or was played earlier today. Was played at noon today. And you're decked out in garb.

Decked out in garb. I put it on after they already lost. Oh, OK. I was like, you know what? It was Caitlin Clark's last game. I'm not going to shy away from her. That's a true fan. Thank you.

That's a true fan. I went to the University of Iowa. She is Caitlin Clark, as we discussed earlier, big, big dork, but did amazing things for the sport, I believe. I couldn't withstand this dorky legend. Played the whole game with a kick me sign on her back. I mean, did play the whole game.

She truly is the dorkiest of genius athletes, of perfect genius athletes. But so you, but are you, are you an Iowan? Is that why you went to the University of Iowa? Yes, grew up in Iowa, then moved to Chicago, did a, did four years there, then out here. What do Iowans think of Chicagoans? Leave out racist stuff. There's nothing left to say. Now let's get into it, right?

Let's get into it. Who better, right? Who better than into it. Who better, right? Who better than these three? I mean it's probably the closest big city and then since there's no racist things to be said, that's about it. No. Yeah, a lot of Cubs fans, a lot of people, we would go there on trips to Watt to Wrigley Field and stuff like that and to the Field Museum, to the art museum, stuff like that. It's the closest we had to a metropolitan area, so it's revered.

It's absolutely revered, I would say. Yeah, it kind of whips ass. It's a great town. Except for the fucking weather. I know. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah. Oprah said, I like to start sentences with Oprah said,

if it was summer all year round, everybody would want to live there. But as you mentioned, the humidity, woof. Yeah, no, it's miserable in the summer. I've also been there in the summer. There's windows. There's windows on either side of summer and winter where I've been there.

And I've been like, why don't I live here? This is the greatest city in the world. It's like New York, but it's cheap. Then you remember why it's cheap. The weather. I've been there, you know, yeah, maybe kind of the same amount of times as you, Jesse, maybe five or six times, you know,

spaced out between, you know, 15 years or something like that. And I feel like every time I went, numerous people really wanted me to know that one of those Christopher Nolan Batman movies was filmed there That was like a real point of pride Pointing out various places that like you can see in Batman a shot in Batman

Yeah, there's also things like the pride in the alcoholism there is just jarring. Oh, yeah, the drinking's intense Yeah, it's kind of scares me kind of freaks me out. So there's this comedian He doesn't do comedy anymore, but his name is Sam Meckling. And he started a fake Twitter account for Malort, this awful tasting alcohol. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For a time, this was, at Max Funcon, a tradition that people would bring Malort in honor of John Hodgman. Ed talked a lot about Malort in one of his books. So people would bring Malort and then they'd pass the Malort around everyone drinks. So I'm not even a drinker, but I have tasted Malort. Which is truly foul. So he kind of embraced that and was like,

Malort, like our new slogan is, tastes like driving through Hammond, Indiana in a convertible with a top down and your mouth open. Like, stuff like- Fucking Hammond, Indiana in a convertible with your, with the top down and your mouth open. Like stuff like- Fucking Hammond, Indiana, am I right, Jordan? Like, Malort, sometimes I think we deserved 9-11, stuff like that. And then you got to cease and desist

from the matriarch of the Malort dynasty. Mrs. Jepson? Mrs. Jepson, yeah. With an attorney meets him, and this is how the legend goes. It could be apocryphal, but this happened after my time there. Attorney was just a guy with brass knuckles. Yeah, exactly. He said, listen, I haven't spent a dime of the merch money.

You should hire me to do this. People love this. They're drinking it more, right? Your numbers are up, and she said, yes, they are, in fact. And he's like, you should hire me to be your PR person. So they did, they went with the, this shit is awful angle.

And what I've been told is that they were leaving the bar, the attorney turned back around and looked at him and goes, this is not what usually happens. ALL LAUGHING But now it's like taken off as like this like terrible thing, you know, that people are like, yes, we're terrible. Yeah, there's a we one year, we accidentally ended up with artisanal Mallort.

Yes. So Mallort is like schnapps. It's like a category. It's just that no one else would make it. It's from the Jaegermeister family of products, I think. Oh, it's its own genre? Yeah, it's a type of liquor. So, Jepson's Malor is the standard bearer of Malor. But yes, I think we did have some cool, you know,

Reginald Fitzwilliams' mustache juice, you know, something like that. Oh, that's terrible. And it tasted pretty good, and I was like, this is not it, this is not what we're doing here. Good for them. So it's completely taken off now, and so within saying that you,

like, you know, you lived in Chicago, within the first five, 10 minutes of knowing that person, they will have asked you about Malort, which was, like, when I lived there, ten minutes of knowing that person, they will have asked you about Malort, which was, like, when I lived there, it was Jameson was the shot. Oh, okay. If someone said shot, they always meant Jameson. But this guy is marketing genius.

But now, if you are, like, in Chicago with a bunch of rowdies, will people just do shots of Malort to keep the party going? 100%. Really? And some, like, dive bars are like, it's Dayquil and Malort. Like, they go nuts. The level of alcoholism there is off the charts. Like, when I moved out here with a bunch of Chicago comedians,

like, the reaction from the LA comedy scene was just like, what the fuck, you guys? Like, we didn't know. But when I lived there, somebody had had a joint at a party, people would have been like, whoa, are you out of your mind? It's a gateway drug.

Yeah, so it was like, you're gonna be in the park on heroin by the end of the week. The impression that I get is that, and again, this is an outsider's impression, both as a non-drinker and as a non-Chicagoan. But what I observe with mine eyes is a sort of what I would call classic traditional drinking. Like, the kind of drinking that I imagine led to prohibition.

BOTH LAUGH The type of alcoholism that made a religious woman and multiple get together and say, this is bad, yeah? Yeah, but just like people in bars just drinking a lot. Yeah. You could figure out if you wanted to drink 24 hours a day, you could figure out where like the neighborhood was that opened at six in the morning and there were like four AM bars. So maybe you had like a two hour window to dry off for a little bit. We had to drink at home. We had to not pay a bunch of money for it.

You drink in the car in between the two bars. Yeah, you could drink, yeah sure. If you take the long way, you could be at the 6 a.m. bar after the 4 a.m. bar closes. That's right. And like every corner had a bar. So you had like on your block proper. Oh, I do like that about Chicago.

I like how it has all the bars. Chicago and Austin. Yeah. Yeah. Every building has a bar in it somewhere. And interestingly, in Chicago, especially during the winter, every one of those blocks in between the corners with the bars has a St. Bernard

with liquor in a barrel around it. Sure. Should anyone roll an ankle or slip on the sidewalk? It is flat, but the St. Bern... So it confuses the St. Bernard, but he does the same job. Yeah. St. Bernard's have a really hard time with flat geography. And did you know that the St. Bernard's we know and love today are not the classic St.

Bernard? No, I didn't know that. Tell me more, Mike. They died out from avalanches and such, and so they used mastiffs and Bernese Mountain dogs to concoct a new one. So if you were to see, like, an early 20th century, also I could be completely wrong. But it just doesn't matter.

This isn't a real show. Yeah. I now think this is true, and I am going to repeat this to people at parties and pretend like I'm the one who learned it. I'm adding it to Wikipedia right now. Thank you, Matt. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Can you cite me? Yeah, so that's what I believe to be true is that the new one is the new Coke and then Coca-Cola classic dead. Right. So these are false St. Bernards. How many? They're just walking around. How many?

So Beethoven wasn't real? Beethoven was a freak? Beethoven freak, freak dog. I have a Bernie's Mountain dog. Beethoven was real, but Bach, no. I have a Bernice Mountain dog. Everybody thinks Beethoven is a type of dog. They will ask me if that is it.

Oh, you've got a Beethoven. You've got a Beethoven. I wonder how many other types of dog actually died out in avalanches and are just two other types of dog combined. 99% of dog breeds actually. Because if you go to, like I'll take, I got this dog that's really full of beans.

And if I have to be at the office and I can't be with him, it's too much for my wife to have the children and the dog and our other old dog. And so I'll take this dog to dog daycare. And at dog daycare, all the dogs- Did you say dog daycare, not doggy daycare? I feel like I usually hear doggy daycare.

I've never heard dog daycare. Okay, well, maybe I was trying to bring a little bit of class to this operation. No, doggy. This place, this place is- Preservable. The daycare is for doggies. A little bit of the dignity that I brought. It's for woof woof.

It's true. And you wanna boop their noses. Floofs, puffers, woofs. Okay, so when it comes to doggos. Yeah, to doggos. Yeah, to doggos. Doggos, puppers. I take the dog-

Just call them good boys. I take the dog sometimes to- I wanna boop their snoots. I take- When you're booping their snoots, Jesse. Dog to dog daycare sometimes. And the dog daycare, by the way, is just, God bless these wonderful people. They're the sweetest. They're so bright-eyed.

They're like really so engaged with the dogs. I swear to God, this dog daycare is meditation-themed. It's just the one by my house, and we had to get his yas out somehow. But anyway, all the dogs... We're not yelling at you, you're yelling at yourself. I know, I'm dealing with some shit. I'm having a Chicago moment here. They're all mad at me for taking my dog. No, we're fine.

Everyone in Chicago does have food coma at the moment. Yeah. So all the dogs, like, oh, see, what kind of dog is this? Every one of the other dogs, I mean, my dog is like some kind of golden retriever terrier kind of thing, like a scruffy golden retriever. Beautiful and real dumb? Very, very sweet. Very sweet.

Yes. And all the other dogs are a schnoodle doodle. Oh. Just everything has oodle in it. Everything has been. All dogs have oodle now. Poodles be fucking. And you know what?

Poodles will fuck anything. Poodle no standards. They don't care. A poodle will fuck anything. Poodles have made some bad choices. They're making poodles fuck everything. You think Tom Sizemore's made bad choices. Let's talk about poodles.

Is there, you said the dog daycare is meditation themed. Is there like a joke on the wall where it's like, namaste? That's gotta be somewhere, right? That's gotta be on a little wood sign, right? Namaste. They sell hats in there that say dog vibes only. Oh, come on.

You want one. No, not at all. I don't want it at all. Makes me very uncomfortable. I don't want my dog to have a more luxurious life than me. To me, a dog don't care. Oh, the hat's for the dog? Oh, no.

That would be. But if I wore the hat, it would be in service to make my dog more comfortable. Gotcha. My dog, he weighs 120 pounds. He's a he's a big beautiful boy We took him to the vet when one day and he goes in the back like so not around us We just start hearing nurses in the back yelling. Oh my god That's a big shit. That's a big ass shit

And like my wife and I are like, they're definitely talking about our dog. There's something with... He's like, that's a big ass shit. And the vet comes back in, and as we're like, how is he doing? She stops us and she goes, he took a really big poop back there. Like, accusing us of being, like, bad. You've been feeding the dog zanku chicken. You know someone was killed there. But I will say, the poop that the dog took

smelled like marijuana and it helped us figure out what was wrong with the dog. He had eaten, he had gotten into some stuff outside, I want to mention, outside. No, you would never have marijuana in the home. I do currently, but not at that point. He'd gotten into some stuff outside, I want to mention. Outside. No, you would never have marijuana in the home. I do currently, but not at that point. Sure.

Yeah, so it's a real bad thing for him to eat. I like that when they were yelling about shit in the back room and when they came out, they cleaned it up for you. They're like, the poop. The poop was too big. The poop, yeah. I said, so I said to the guy,

like one of the technicians, like how big of a poop are we talking about? He goes, it was like one foot by one foot. I was like, I can't even picture that. What was the circumference? A square foot of shit that he took back there. You guys want to take a break? I got to dump a square foot of something in the toilet.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Goh. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you. It's Jordan and Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. You know, every episode of Jordan and Jesse Goh is made'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

You know, every episode of Jordan, Jesse Goh is made possible by the members of Maximum Fun. Thanks to everybody who became a member during the Max Fun Drive. You can always become a member by going to MaximumFun.org slash join and you will get, well, lately we've been doing Gracie's Game Gauntlet.

Yeah, we're playing weird vintage games from Jesse's Daughter's Game Collection. So we're gonna be doing more of those throughout the year. So stay tuned. You can hear our Wayne's World episode. Maybe we'll do Shaq Fu next. Oh, I can't wait to do Shaq Fu. It's gonna be a blast. Shaq Fu, Shaq Fu.

My daughter is really excited. She's really excited about Shaq Fu because she's gonna make me watch that movie where Shaq is a wizard. Oh, amazing. That's part of it. As far as she's concerned, that's part of it. You have to go through Shaq's a wizard. Oh, amazing. Yeah, that's part of it. As far as she's concerned, that's part of it. You have to go through Shaq's filmography.

Yeah, I don't know how that became part of it. I think maybe she mentioned it when she came on the show during the drive, but that's part of it. That's part of it. We're also supported this week by the folks over at Wild Grain. Wild Grain are a service that will send you in the mail delicious par-baked baked goods.

So we're talking about bread, wonderful croissants, all kinds of stuff, fresh pasta. The pasta's really nice. And Jordan and I were literally like, before we came on microphone just now, talking about man, Wild Grain's really good. It's really good. Yeah, it's so nice to just have a loaf of bread in your freezer

that you can throw in the oven, and in 20-ish minutes, it'll come out and it'll make even the most, like, boring weeknight meal a delectable feast. I wanted these people were like, to me, there's the golf is huge between regular bread for which I just don't care and don't want to, you know, I don't want to just eat,

outside of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, just like a regular grocery store bread is just not of interest to me. I'll just avoid it. But if I'm gonna eat bread, I want to make a county something really good. And that's what's great about the Wild Grain. It's the same with the pasta. Like, if I'm eating pasta, I wanna eat really nice pasta.

And it's really fantastic stuff. And it really does, you know? You have it in your freezer. It comes out 20 minutes later. You have a beautiful loaf of bread. Makes the house smell nice. Sure does. For a limited time, you can get $30 off off your first box plus free croissants in every box when you go to wild grain comm slash jj

Go to start your subscription you heard me Free croissants in every box the other croissants are good and $30 off your first box when you go to wild grain comm slash jj Go that's wild grain comm slash jj. Go or you can use promo code JJ go at checkout. We're also supported this week by the good folks at nuts.com nuts.com of course are glad to send you nuts. Oh, they'll send you nuts. They got them. But they got all kinds of other snacks and treats as well.

Dried fruit, sweets, pantry staples like specialty flowers, and more. Their wide selection means there is something for everyone. They literally roast the nuts the day they ship them out to you. That is unbelievable to me. It is. And you can really, really tell. The gap between the nuts.com nuts and just a bag of almonds you're getting at the grocery store is wide.

Yeah. We're talking about cooking stuff, sure, but also stuff you could put out as a snack at a nice party. You could put it out on a charcuterie board. Oh, yeah. It's the really nice stuff. I mean, we've talked about those pecans. We love so much.

Oh, the bourbon pecans. The bourbon pecans are great. You got to try those. And yeah, I got a nuts.com bag of a variety pack and just had these little tiny Ziploc bags of a variety of their treats. Perfect size, throw a couple in your glove box for when you get hungry on the road,

throw a couple in your bag, going to work. Really convenient, really delicious. Everything I've had from nuts.com has been great. I keep nuts.com in my glove box, Jordan. Oh yeah. We didn't plan this, but I- It's true, we're both Nuts.com glove buddies. Yeah, it's true.

Matt, are you a glove buddy? I'm allergic to nuts. Okay, okay. It's fine, you could have some of the dried fruit. Have some of the dried mango. I love the dried fruit though. Yeah. Right now, Nuts.com is offering new customers

a free gift with purchase and free shipping on orders of $29 or more at nuts.com slash jjgo. So check out all of the delicious options at nuts.com slash jjgo. You'll receive a free gift with purchase and free shipping on orders of $29 or more. That's nuts.com slash jjgo. And, hey, Jesse, can I let our listeners know

about a really cool book event coming up? I would love to. I've been enjoying these book events. Yes. Hey, if you're anywhere in the Southern California, are you a book boy? I guess so. I don't know. I don't know.

I guess so. Matt, can I check in with you about something? Sure. Can you fact check this for me? Yes. Jordan's a little bookie boy. Oh, he loves books. Yeah.

He's a little book worm. I guess I'm a book. He's always got his nose in a's a little bookworm. He's always got his nose in a book. That's true. He's always got his nose in a book. He's got his nose in a book. And sometimes when my nose is in there, I'm kissing him. I'm giving him kisses. Kissy little books. I'm kissing him.

Jordan, here's a wet wipe. Wipe that book off your nose. I can't. It's on there permanently. Hey, if you're in the Southern California area, May 3rd and 4th, May 3rd, that's my birthday, I'm going to be at the Yall West Book Festival at Santa Monica High School. May 3rd is a ticketed event. May 4th, free for everybody.

This is a festival for young adult authors. That's a really cool festival. This festival's sometimes run by our friend Shane Pangburn, who is the husband of Jennifer Marmer. Oh, yeah, Shane's great. Great dude, and this is a really, really fun festival. And if you're not in the Southern California area, what you can do is you can go to yallwest.com slash authors. You can see all the authors that are going to be there.

I'm on there too. And anybody's book you buy from that page, some money's gonna go into programs that get books and programs to kids in underfunded public schools. Oh, that's really cool. So that's yallwest.com slash authors. Yallwest.com slash authors.

And yeah, you can buy a copy of Bubble there. You can pre-order a copy of Youth Group. I wish you would. And yeah, you can pre-order a copy of Youth Group, I wish you would. And yeah, you can get it there at a discounted price and the money goes to a good cause. Pre-order a copy of Youth Group, I wish a motherfucker would. I wish you would. I wish you would. I wish you would.

I wish they would. I wish we wish they would. So yeah, come out and see us May 3rd and 4th if you're in Southern California and if not, head over to that author page, get yourself some books. That sounds awesome. I hope folks head out to Y'all West. And you know what, Jordan? Can I say something?

Yeah. Are you available to do virtual school and library events? Yes, I would love to. Oh my gosh. Okay. I already- I would love to do, I would love to. Jesse? I was just checking in because I feel like Jordan, Jesse, go listeners.

There's probably a lot of people who put together bookstore, library, and school events. I have not been put up to bringing this up. No, this is good. I should be bringing this up. I feel like Jordan Morris is available for this. I'm available and anxious. Yes, please, I would love to do your library event.

Oh my gosh, what an honor. What should we do? Librarians, get at me. Drop you a note on Instagram or something? Yeah, hit me up on Insta. Yeah, that's a- DM me on Insta. Jordan's gonna bring a lot of joy

to the life of your patrons or students. God, I would, yeah, I met Jordan David Morris on Instagram. I would love to. Yes, thank you, Jesse. Thank you for prompting that. Yeah, let me do your library event. I would love to. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica.

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la That's nice. You know what I did? Hey man, stop jacking my shit. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Mike, can I ask you a question about your giant dog? I'm sorry that I'm getting back to it. Absolutely. Your giant dog's a boy, you said, right? He is a good boy. So my dog, Junior, is a boy. I've only had him for a few months. And I'm wondering, how long have you had your dog?

Seven years. Okay. Do you ever get over the fact that his ding dong is just right out there, just flapping around like, hey, oh, here's my peen. The breed is a very hairy breed. When I do see it, it's jarring. Okay.

Or it's lipstick and it's like, let's walk this out. Okay, because I had a small boy dog for a while, but he was small and his penis was inconspicuous. But this golden retrievery type dog, it doesn't have particularly, he doesn't have particularly long hair. And his penis is just sort of 45 degree pointing out from his body.

Yeah. And every time I see it, I think it's so fucking funny that his penis is sticking out there. And I'm like, get some pants on this guy. But how would the dog wear the pants? Let's, sorry, that's like a meme. Thanks, Jordan. Thanks for that.

Anytime you see an animal's dong, it's kind of fucked up. It's wild. Yeah, those guys have some weird penises. I want that to be the poll quote from the show. It feels presumptuous of me. It feels presumptuous of them to have the same genitalia that we have. Is that what you mean?

It's like, that's a penis and you're my friend. You know? Yeah. Or these are my eyes. That's your penis. I shouldn't. Yeah. OK.

How come you're not ashamed? Anyway, just something I've been going through lately. Just something I've been dealing with. I get it. I mean, yeah, I try not to look at dog's wieners. He also will roll over on his back and stick his legs up in the air so that I can see his dong better. Or he wants a belly rub maybe.

Or just to show you, show you his boss. Jordan, we've been doing this segment lately on the program called I read it on the internet. And Matt has sent us a new I read it on the internet. I love it when we read it on the internet. So this is what we're looking for. Yeah. Obviously, there are Reddit posts that are beautiful short stories.

Yes. Written by gifted fabulists. Yes. I'm more interested in one that's just kind of odd. I like the magic of a plain thing with it's a little bit off. I don't think we want there to be hard jokes in these. No.

As much as, as fun as those are to read, I think we're looking for, we're looking for the outsider art of these. Yeah, we want a magical world to discover. Of course, thank you. Anyway. For clarification. We'll see how this one goes. Matt just sent it to me.

It's from r slash Ska. A school near me banned Ska. It says- Strum down, never up. It says so. Don't pick it up, leave it. Leave it there. Which is something you would also hear in doggy daycare.

Hey. We're making connections on also hear in doggy daycare. Hey. We're making connections on the show. We're doing it. Do Ska kids also eat their own shit? They actually do. You gotta drop it. Drop it. OK, a school near me banned Ska.

So I'm in high school still. I know. Very young for a rude boy. Right. Peak time to get into ska, though. Yeah, absolutely. And one of my friends goes to a different school nearby. I like that they have this ska network.

They're flashing mirror lights to each other from campus to campus. I wanted it to be like an emo school, like you get a sorting hat, and you're like. Yeah. Oh man, my best friend who I grew up with. He went to the emo school. He went to the power violence school,

and I had to go to the happy hardcore school. And one of my friends goes to a different school nearby. Yesterday we were on call, and I asked him if anyone at his school listened to ska. He told me that not only does nobody listen to ska, but the principal outright banned it. Oh my god. Turns out some kids in the school play

wanted to perform something, and the play director said no. So to get revenge, the kids hacked into the PA and played ska music all day. They played stuff like Bad Manners and Madness. I think it's weird revenge because I would have loved that day, but thank God I go to a school where I can blast ska music to my friends at lunch. There you go.

There you go. That's a, what is, if you wanted a working definition of America, I think it would be a school where you can blast ska music to your friends at lunch. Sure. I find it interesting, though, that the trouble wasn't that music was played. Right.

That it was ska music. We've banned ska music only. This sounds like it might have been one of those situations like, I mean, this has come up, I think, before on Jordan and Jesse Goh. But when Jordan and I were in college at Porter College at UC Santa Cruz, Matt was also there. He was our closest friend.

We're best friends. And we knew each other. We all knew each other well. I remember that we had all gone to college together. And we have a lot of inside jokes, for instance. The one that we all laughed at. I love that one. You remember that one?

Sure. Memories, huh? Memories. Memories. Got lots of them. I'm always remembering those. There was a person who turned their speakers towards an open window in their dorm room and then played somewhere out there from an American Tale on repeat at maximum volume for hours until they broke in,

until someone broke into the room and turned it off and then that person got suspended. Yeah. It sounds like they were trying to do something like this. I mean, it's hard to say. They were trying to ban Jews at UCS. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, they were trying to.

I want you to know I would never do this joke. It was a metaphor for the Holocaust. Only I'm doing this joke. None of you three can do it. Thank you, Matt, for doing the joke. I sound like I could, right? I kind of look like I could, but... But... I wonder because there's... Like, these were theater kids,

which is the number one. I mean, I, like, it may have just been the timing of when I went to high school, but, like, as someone who is in a theater department in 1997 through 1996 through 1999, like, I would say Ska was right up there. The Boston's?

Right up there. They were above that. They were above the Boston's. I couldn't tell you exactly. This was like, first of all, they had all the Pr reggae ska records. These people were very serious about their ska, it being an arts high school.

Yes, yes, yes. But yeah, like the theater kids, madness is a very credible music act. They might've been playing that because they love ska, but on the other hand, this person is describing it as though it was a prank where the premise was we're going to force everyone to share Scott. Like it's going to be a misery to enjoy.

What's the most popular miserable madness song? I mean, I think, yeah. I mean, I like madness a lot. Hey, if my high school started blaring madness, that's the greatest day of 13-year-old Jordan's life. I will say, we- But yeah, I mean, I think that, like, I do think that, like,

Ska has just retained its punchline status. Like, it had its moment, and now, and I think that just anything with that beat, regardless of, like, how credible it was in the 70s or 80s or whatever, is just like, I think, to a larger audience who doesn't know the context, like, oh, this is the most annoying music in the world. Have you guys ever heard Dave Thomason's joke about Scott?

What is it? He says it's the music that plays in a seventh grader's head when he gets an extra jalapeno popper in his fries. So that has been Dave Thompson, one of the funniest jokes. One of the funniest people. That joke got memed, and without him getting credit for it, someone just tweeted, I heard a guy say, and then Dave's joke with no, and then now that's like a meme that gets clipped out. And he heard that on my podcast.

Did he? It was one of my listeners who I retold the joke on the podcast. I had to invite Dave on the podcast to explain that that's what happened, and also to tell everyone it was his joke. I feel like ska is one of the most easily enjoyable pop music forms. Like through a big phase.

Very pleasant. Very pleasant. I mean, even like, I mean, I have no strong feelings one way or another about the Mighty Mighty Boss tones, but you know, you play those Mighty Mighty Boss tones songs, I'll think, well, this is a fun song. You know what I mean? In a way that I wouldn't, for example,

about swing revival songs of the time. You are correct in that assessment. My wife, who is African-American and was raised in the church before she lost her religion, doesn't know. Now we're getting into it. She doesn't know. She lost it to Scott. She once asked me.

She's like, if Christ doesn't want me to skank, then I don't want Christ. She was on a trip one time, she works with bands, and she doesn't know who the bands are, if they're from the 80s. So one time she called me and she said, I'm with this band, they think that you would have heard of them.

I said, hit me with it. She goes, they're called the B, hang on, 52s? I said, get your picture with them, get their autograph, buy a CD. But we were watching professional wrestling. And at the time, this wrestler named Sammy Zane kind of had a Ska guy persona. And he came out and I go,

This is in contemporary America? Yes. Wow, that's great. And she said, what is Ska? And I actually caught myself saying, how much time do you have? I was going to get out. Put on a pot of coffee.

We're doing less than Jake. We're doing real big fish. All right. It's Jamaica in the 60s. This wave was like this. Sure. So yeah, it was a... London has become a multicultural melting pot.

Yeah. Punk Scott was real big when I was in high school, similar time to you. Went to college. Every kid at the University of Iowa. Dave Matthews Band was not only their favorite musician, but their persona. It was an identity. Did they call him Dave or did they say DMB?

That's the ways that you Dave Matthews fans get to branch off. They called him Dave, and they were all from suburbs of Chicago, and I thought it was a bit, everybody was doing it first. But I was like, the donkey on a chain guy? I didn't understand it.

Yeah, at least at our residential college, it was that, but with the Promise Ring. It was just the absolute blossoming of the sort of pre-radio emo scene. Like the world of, like right before your big, heavy rock radio emo happened three or four years later. Yeah, that's fun. It was like, it was, it was those, it was emo kids,

just admiring their sneakers and sharing feelings with each other. You gotta do that though. It was all right. It's a cute outfit. I don't know, not my taste of music but. The other kids that didn't like Dave as much, they were huge Buffett people.

Jimmy Buffett was massive at the University of Iowa. I think there's just a kind of college kid that I don't know if it's just like... I didn't have a... I didn't get into a hyper-specific music scene in high school. So now it's time to like music. Now it's time? That's what I call music.

Yeah, so it's just time to like pick some guys with acoustic guitars and get like a polo and maybe you have khaki, you know, it's kind of. Abercrombie like cargo pants. Right, because it's like if you got into something super specific in high school, you kind of like towed it to college with you. Sure.

And like, you know, let it evolve from there. But I think if you didn't, then your Daves, your Buffets, your like, you know, if you're a little nerdier, bare naked ladies, you know, that kind of stuff is like... These are bands my father enjoys, my 71-year-old father. And I'll say, I went to... I told the story on the podcast, but I went to see Dave Matthews' band the other day

because somebody had an extra ticket. I had a nice time Well, I would never be smirked to your good time. It was a time I'll tell you I had had you know since since I went to arts high school in the city And then we went to the artsy part of UC Santa Cruz the for a public university You know High snob factor on the music front. I didn't really know a lot of Dave Matthews band types. And when I was working in, at XM Satellite Radio,

when I was probably a junior, I guess, in college, the band OAR came. Oh, my god. Yeah, that was huge. And just watching these fucking other interns just flipping the fuck out over OAR and being like, I don't really know what this is. I've never even heard of this thing

that everyone is flipping out over. And then watching them perform and being like, it's not that it's bad, but you're pumped about this? Like, this seems like a really weird thing to be pumped about. I agree with you. This is a weird thing to get bootlegs of. Were they the take a shower, shine your shoes,

you got no time to lose people, or is that? I think that is dispatch. Okay, dispatch was another one that was huge. OAR was huge, and then take a shower, shine your shoes. Yeah. Those were big, big things. We had a lot of take a shower, shine your shoes. Do you think OAR got that name because they misspelled

AOR or album-oriented rock? Sure. They just named themselves after the middle of the road radio format. We got to stick with it. I just assumed one of them owned Boat. OK, when something romantist happens to you, you finally get to see OAR rock live

in the XM performance studios with an exclusive group of people, including one guy who was in the Wailers, who was around a lot. They're watching the OAR, trying to figure out what to make of that. I was going to punk ska shows at this point, and people couldn't believe that that's what I was into.

And I was like, I don't. I can't explain it to you either. Yeah, I don't know. I like a little brass. I like a little brass when I was slamming into bodies. You don't have a little brass. I probably went to three Jurassic Five concerts. I love Jurassic Five.

I'm not here to cast aspersions on anyone else's. Is Jurassic Five not credible anymore? Uh... That is in no way embarrassing, I would say. Yeah. No, that's not. No, they're not. They're definitely not credible. Really?

What's the feed on them? I would say, okay, so they have their roots in a credible scene here in LA. But I think between the fact that none of them is a great rapper except for maybe Charlie Toon is maybe the best rapper of them, but he's also the corniest of them. He's like a Caitlin Clark.

Yeah, I bet they're good dudes. I bet they're really good dudes. And I think, like, you know, they had great DJ producers who kind of wandered away. And also, I think they made a single with Dave Matthews. Wow. I think that was like their play. I might be mistaken.

Get that bag, though. Yeah. Get that bag, though. Yeah. Get that bag. They made a single with Dave Matthews to try and Black Eyed Peas themselves. He was their Fergie. Like, Black Eyed Peas very much the same kind of thing as Jurassic Five.

But I think Black Eyed Peas were always that. uh, Jurassic Five, uh, with... But, like, I think Black Eyed Peas were always that. Like, the thing that Black Eyed Peas became, they added Fergie, but, like, that's not different from what it was before. And also, to my mind, they're great at it. I think they're really fun. They're really good. I always, when I hear them,

I want to, like, drink a Dr. Pepper. Yeah. Or I think of, like, what kind of product would I like to buy right now? Sure. I like all those. I should consider Hyundai's. Yeah. I like all those Black Eyed Peas songs.

None of them are good rappers, but it doesn't really mean Will.i.am's a good producer, and who cares? And Orange Glow is a great product. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I think the Jurassic Five sort of like got a lot of credibility on their EP, started blowing it when they made their album, and then when they signed to a major and put out a single with Dave Matthews, it was like, uh-oh. And they didn't even get a hit record out of it. I don't think it worked.

Like the most badass punk band in the late 90s that I can recall liking. That was like a kind of like a new band was the Suicide Machines. Even they did, I beg your pardon. I'm not, I never promised you like a Rose Garden. I have a question. What is the guy that's like Jack Johnson? I was going to say, who's the surfing? It might have been Jack Johnson and not Dave Matthews that did the Jurassic five.

So that would make more sense to me. I saw the Suicide Machines last year. That's fantastic. Guess who's still got it. I saw Dropkick Murphy's open for the Boston's. I've seen a lot of these bands in Iowa City when I was a college student. That sounds like a lot of fun to me. It was a lot of fun.

Can I tell you what? Can I tell you what's fun? Going to see the Jurassic Five. I bet going to see Jurassic Five right now is a ton of fun. They're all, they have a fun right now is a ton of fun. They're all, they have a fun thing they do. It's fun. Have fun, enjoy your dumb thing.

Yeah. I'll listen to Concrete Schoolyard, it's fun. Enjoy your dumb thing, like this podcast. If somebody put on Tap the Bottle by young black teenagers, I would know full well none of them were black, young, or teenagers, and it's a fun dumb song. Yeah. When something momentous happens to you,

like you tap the bottle, we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN or just send a voice memo to jjgoatmaximumfun.org. Can I tell you something, Jordan? We recorded a crossover episode with our friends at Stop Podcasting Yourself. We did do that. For the Max Fun Drive.

And Dave Shumka from Spy gives out their phone number on every episode. And it came up on that crossover episode, thank you members of Maximum Fun, if you're not yet a member, join and listen to that episode. It came up that I had emailed him an overheard for his show, this recurring segment on his show, because I thought it would be better to record it

on my phone and then send it to him, or record it on my mic and send it to him rather than call it in. Sure. Dave got mad at me. I'm sorry. So then the next time, the next time I heard one, I called it in, but it got all garbled.

Well. Because I didn't have a good connection. Seems like maybe you were right the first time to care about sound quality. I overheard something the other day and I got in my head and I didn't know whether to record it or call it in. Right, right, right, right. And then I forgot what it was.

Oh no, I was gonna say, do you wanna share it here, but it's lost forgot what it was. Oh, no. I was going to say, do you want to share it here? But it's lost. Lost to time. Just send us a voice memo at jjcallatmaximumfund.org. It'll sound great. It'll sound really good. We'll find out what this... Hey, Jordan and Jesse and guests who I'm going to guess is ex-professional wrestler turned conservative politician Glenn Jacobs, aka Kane.

Close. I'm calling in with a momentous occasion. The other day I was walking in Austin, Texas, and I saw a group of kids that were hanging out at an outdoor playground outside of a restaurant, and they were sitting on a grassy sort of knoll situation, and there was one kid particularly laid back. Who buys this book depositor in Texas behind the head and he was really just kicked back on this knoll and the rest of the kids were listening in as he spouted out oh yeah well I know how babies are made I don't think I've ever seen a cooler kid in my

life. Isn't that the dream? That's great. Jurassic 5, work it out featuring the Dave Matthews. Whole band is on here. Wow. Holy cow. Violin guy, the saxophone guy. Are we going to listen to it? Hold on, let me get my flip flops on. Let me put on some beaded necklaces. I can't wait till the violin happens.

More violin. Yeah, it's not the whole Dave Matthews band until you're, you got a little violin in there. I love that violin. It's a unity theme. That's nice. I mean, was it right after Lincoln Park and Jay-Z did a thing and they're like,

what are other two things that shouldn't go together? I think it may have been after Black Eyed Peas got Justin Timberlake on a real B-minus song that like catapulted them from, uh, from, like, underground act to radio celebrity. That was, I think, before they added Fergie. I remember before they had Fergie thinking that they were cool.

I mean, they were. I mean, I legitimately, I, I, they were, again, not good at rapping, never were, but, um but none of them, but. They're taking it back to yes, y'all, and. Yeah, exactly. PC falling up, never falling down, something, something higher level, elevate the sound. Never meant, never meant or made sense.

Never meant anything or made sense. It was just the little words they were saying. But my name is Apple D App and I'm here to say. Man, I'll tell you what, there's this, there's this taqueria by my house called My Taco that my daughter really likes. And they, they have some like celebrity photos up in that Los Angeles local business way.

And mostly they are Mexican and Mexican American celebrities with which I am not familiar. Sure. But they also have Tab I am not familiar. Sure. But they also have Taboo and Apple D'App. There you go. And I'm just like, fuck. This is, I feel like I could get to that. Like I'll never be Will.I.Am.

You could be Apple D'App. I could be Apple D'App. I'm gonna go ahead and say you are. Do you wait, do you wanna be in the hip hop group or do you just want your picture on the walls? No, I'm just talking about of, of meriting my picture being on the walls. Oh yeah, sure.

I could never be as good at being, because both of those guys are great dancers, which I'm not. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they're bad at rapping, but they're great dancers. I was looking at a wall of celebrities at a restaurant the other day. Yang Chow in Pasadena, the famous slippery shrimp, is as good as you've heard.

Okay, all right. And they have the wall of celebrities, and it's really impressive. But everything is so yellow and faded. I think those just stopped happening in 2001. I think that no business has added a new. Nobody's added anything. Okay, that's a fact.

I think nobody has. They had a local business persons meeting, all of LA, the greater LA area met and said like, we're done, we all- There's too many headshots. There's too many, yeah. We're all gonna have a couple of weather guys who are not on the air anymore.

I have a question. Yes. Is it possible that no one makes eight by 10 headshots anymore? And for that reason, secondary sub-possibility here, if we print up headshots. Oh, and bring them in. Then we are filling a void. Like the reason they haven't replaced any of them

is because there's no reason for- They're all digital. Yeah, there's no reason for Channel 5's Dave McEllighatten to make headshots anymore because A, number one, I believe he may have passed away, RIP to a legend. Sorry if he didn't, by the way. I claim someone was dead on a recent program. I already put it on Wikipedia.

Who's not? He's a Saint Bernard. He was killed in an avalanche. Replaced by a hybrid freak. By Beethoven. It might not be that they don't want new ones. Maybe that a lady from the Ice Capage no longer has one. I would say in the case of Yang Chao, they are photos with the owner. These are like on, like developed.

But I think your point is great. And I think that is probably why we're not seeing newer photos in most of these places. I've always had questions about the dry cleaning places that have these, the plant store in Silver Lake. Car wash, yeah, sure. Do they have it on them? Do they come back with it?

Is it requested? I wanna know. I feel like, I think that's something publicists do. When you have a publicist in show business, if I've learned anything, one of my oldest friends is a professional show business publicist. One of my oldest friends is a professional show business publicist.

Yeah. And, you know, I've known this woman since high school. Brilliant woman. You're her publicist. She does. I know, right? Everybody, hire Emily Erskine. And like, she does lots of high powered shit.

But then also, I think sometimes when you're a celebrity's publicist, you just do miscellaneous shit because you're around. A big part of being a celebrity's publicist is going with them to things. And I asked my publicist friend, why do you go with the people? And she's like, well, they pay me to be their publicist, so I want to make sure that they remember I'm their publicist. I mean, on Entourage, the lady would make sure

he didn't say something too stupid. Yeah, but that's, I mean, it's impossible. It's impossible to prevent people from saying stupid things. Or to be like, this interview's over. Yeah, exactly. Like, I don't know if that actually flies. I think that a publicist is a person who calls you and says,

make a list of local businesses you patronize, and I'm gonna send each of them a signed 8x10. That's fantastic. That's a fantastic job. You think I could, guys, I think Jordan, if you and I had an 8x10, I think I could get it up. You have a friend. If not in a frame, if not in a frame,

I think I could get it up on the corkboard at Mount Washington Cleaners on Figaro Boulevard. Let's try this. I like this. You have to. I think this is a goal. You have to. I think Wendy, because I think our powers combined,

we can get one up somewhere. Yeah. We're gonna need to get Zach Wolfe back in town. Zach Wolfe took some pictures of us. Oh yeah. But that was when we had different facial hair. Sure, yeah, we need one representing our current facial hair, so if there's any photographers

out there in the LA area, let us know. We'll have some 8x10s printed up at a, you know, classic photo printing place. Yeah. And we'll see where we can get one up. Yeah, we can sign it, we can bring it to Mount Washington Cleaners, and we'll, I mean, they know me because at one point,

I'm still enduring a clothing moth scare at my house. And so I had to get everything, all the clothes I owned cleaned. So that involved a few carloads. Oh yeah, so they know you there. Yeah, so they know me very well. I'm not just a once every few weeks customer now. I'm that guy that brought in 40 pairs of pants.

Yeah, you're the moth guy. Yeah, but I think if we could sign it like for Mount Washington Cleaners. Thanks for getting the come out. I'm... You know what you did. You know that celery. 206-984-44-FUN or jjgoatmaximumfun.org.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hi, I'm Travis McElroy. And I'm Teresa McElroy. And we're the host of Schmaners. We don't believe that etiquette should be used to judge other people. No, on Schmaners we see etiquette as a way

to navigate social situations with confidence. So if that sounds like something you're into, join us every Friday on Maximum Fun, wherever you get your podcasts. It's Webby season. Hi, I'm Sequoia Holmes, host of the Black People Love Paramore podcast. And we are nominated for a Webby for the episode where I interviewed Haley Williams. In case you're unfamiliar, Black People Love Paramore is a podcast delving into the common and uncommon interests of Black people in order to help us feel more seen. We would love your vote

to help us win this Webby. Please take a second and go over to the Black People Love Paramore podcast social media accounts and you can find them at BPLBpod across all social media platforms. Hit the link in bio and vote for Black People Love Paramore. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Mike Bridenstine, why was it sweetheart detective? Mike, was your goal in this book to write a book that had the most past Jordan, Jesse Goh guests

on its cover of any book? That's what I was thinking, yeah. I was listening to the show and I thought, I should write a book about some of your guests. There's a ding-donger, Matt Bronger. Yeah. There's our friend Kumail Nanjiani. Cameron's a ding-donger, Matt Bronger. Yeah. There's our friend Kumail Nanjiani.

Cameron Esposito is here. Kyle Kanane is here. Yeah. Animal Burris has never been on our show. The Chicago Skyline. Yeah, you've had that. They can do a great riff. When the Chicago Skyline starts to riff,

you're like, where's this going? But you know they're going to bring it back. The Sears Tower is a beast The Sears Tower's a beast. Sears Tower's a beast. That cover, the putter bars I know were on recently. Yeah, even recent. I appreciate that you're keeping up with our more recent guests.

I follow both of them on Instagram, and I saw that they were on the show. Oh, yeah. They're the funniest. There's Pete Holmes is here, who people always assume I know, but I've never actually met. That's so funny. Yeah. I've never met the man in my life.

I've met him once or twice. He's great. Yeah, that's great. Mike, this is a book about? Likes to ask people about something about God, I think. I don't know. He's never asked me about God. And I've met him.

Is he interested in God? When I met him, he was a devout Christian and married to the woman that he's not married to now. He was a non-drinking Christian fella. And now... Uh... This guy's kind of Christian-adjacent, kind of. This guy fucking travels with a cake plate of cocaine.

Yes, exactly. With a glass bowl on top. I mean, you got to. You must. Otherwise, it's gonna blow away in your fucking Mercedes convertible that he drives. Yeah, you gotta have that bowl. So this I mean, you gotta. You must. Otherwise, it's gonna blow away in your fucking Mercedes convertible that you brought. Yeah, you gotta have that bowl. So this is a book about the history of comedy in Chicago or a particular comedy explosion. Well, the scene kind of collapsed at the end of the 80s.

So the boom happened, the bust happened, and so one club existed that was left, that one white club existed. It was Zanies. It's a very segregated city. So Zanies was the only game in town, and they would not book local comedians. So all these people who had... It was Jimmy Pardo or nothing. It was the only Pardo or Jimmy Dore or nothing.

Yeah. Someone named Jimmy. Any Jimmy or nothing. I just want to salute Jimmy Pardo for not breaking bad. Any Jimmy or nothing. I just want to salute Jimmy Pardo for not breaking bad. Just way to go. The Chicago Jimmies, you're doing a great job, Jimmy Pardo. You're still a great guy. Best Jimmy.

You're not insane. Best Jimmy. Best Chicago Jimmy. So all of these people that would come there to do Second City and wanted to do stand-up needed a place to do stand-up So they created a DIY alt scene and there's the story of that DIY alt scene from going from absolutely nothing To producing some of the people that you named to be big enough to do You know Jordan Jesse go and things like that like serious

How many times are we mentioned in the book? You're not, but it's implied a lot. Okay, yeah, okay. Oh yeah, I'm just taking a look at them. They're saying, when we were on the podcast. Yeah, you know. So there's two mentions of Denver Comedy Works. Yeah, oh good, there's a glossary back here, okay. Glossary.

Ooh. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. So something called Edge Comedy gets a lot of mentions. It does, yeah. They're looking at an index. Faye, Tina, someone named Faye, Tina gets mentioned a lot. So there's a couple of mentions of Jim Carrey. Kaufman, Andy.

I like seeing some mentions of Ricky Carmona, Pastor Reggie Goh. Oh yeah, there you go. I thought Ricky worked here, that's correct. Oh, here we are, Shit, comma, dumb. There we are. Okay. Shit, comma, 9000 midgets. Let's see. Shit, comma, dumb. Oh, here on comedy, comma, adjacent.

No, guys. This is fun. Talking, comma, podcast. Yeah, I can't read. I can't wait to read this. It sounds like I didn't know this story, Mike. Yeah, so basically, it's kind of impossible that all these people came out of this nothing. But we go through it. We talk about why it happened and theories

as to how it took off. And it tells the story of Dwayne Kennedy, tells the origin stories of people that you mentioned that are on the cover, Pete Holmes, Matt Bronger, Kyle Kanay, and Hannibal Burris. And it was a pandemic project. I didn't have a lot to do and nobody else did either. And so You know, I didn't have a lot to do, and nobody else did either. And so I had heard somebody do a History of Chicago comedy, and I felt that it was wrong. And so I thought, hey, let's try to do a real one.

And I have the time to do it, and I know the people. So that was kind of the impetus there. Where can people grab this thing? Is this anywhere you get a book? Is there a specific website? Where are we going? Amazon would be fantastic, I guess, yeah. Grab it there.

Grab it on Amazon. You know what? When it comes to conveniently ordering books, tough to beat amazon.com. It is tough to beat. Look, there's other alternatives, probably more moral ones. BarringtonNoble.com.

But, yeah, at the end of the day, I stick up for the little guy. Yeah, who's your favorite billionaire? WaldenBooks.com. Yeah, at the end of the day, I stick up for the little guy. Yeah, who's your favorite billionaire? WaldenBooks.com. Walden Books. Get your ass to Crown. Ask him for the perfect amount of wrong. Yeah, it's been pre-remeaned for your convenience.

Well, Mike, it's been a joy to have you on the program. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. So excited about this book. It's the first book I've ever held with an entire chapter about comedy genius, Dwayne Kennedy. There you go. I hope the chapter is called Dwayne.

It is. It's just called Dwayne. Just Dwayne. It is. First quote from Pastor and Jesse Go-Guest, John Roy. It is. Oh, hey, there you go. It's been a great time.

So it's the history of Chicago comedy, but it's also kind of the history of this podcast. That's what I was thinking. That's what I was then planning. And therefore, America. Yeah. That's a a great time. So it's the history of Chicago comedy, but it's also kind of the history of this podcast. That's what I was thinking. That's what I was then planning. And therefore, America. Yeah. That's a really good point. America's story is in this podcast. You're weaving a beautiful tapestry of metaphor

right now. I would appreciate it if you would, yes. Yeah. The rails. Coal. Baseball. Crack at the bat. Cracker jacks.

Here we go. Dust bowl. I can't do anymore. Yeah, I mean, you know, Wheat. Wheat, yes. I gotta get wheat. We were wrapping up and I fucked it up. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Wheat was good.

Matt Lieb is the producer of the program. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. Hey, find us on social medias. Jordan, I just started a new Instagram account. Oh, my god. Tell me everything. Well, when I started my original Instagram account,

you were only allowed to have one Instagram account. And so I needed one for my menswear shit more than I needed. So that's at put.this.on. Sure. And I have one for lurking? Yeah. Cool.

Well, I got one for lurking? Yeah. Cool. Well, I got one for Jordan, for Jesse Thorne as entertainer related things. It's at jessethorneveryfamous. Oh my god. Amazing. So go to at jessethorneveryfamous. Follow that, because it's only got 500 followers.

It's very secret right now. Sure. And you're at jordandavidmorris there. I'm at jordandavidmorris. Just got the one. Maybe I'll get another one for lurking. I mean, do you? Oh, you're at Jordan David Morris. I'm at Jordan David Morris. Just got the one. Maybe I'll get another one for lurking. I mean, do you, oh, you're just gonna get one. You're just gonna get a horny one.

Ooh, a horny Insta? Am I posting horny or am I commenting horny on that one? Por que no lo estos? Yeah, you. Why not? Okay, call follow Jordan David Morris underscore horny. Yeah. Very horny.

For all my horniest replies, I will put a fire emoji after all your selfies. Maximumfun.reddit.com is the place to chat about things on Reddit. Should we start a Discord? Probably we should start a Discord. That is something. That would be really good. It would be fun if we started a Discord? Probably we should start a Discord. That is something. That would be really good. It would be fun if we started a Discord, because it would be a great place for us

to talk to our fans. Yes. And for me to play Fortnite with my kids? Yeah. Let us know if you want to watch us play Fortnite with our kids. Yeah. I don't have any kids.

I'll get some. Yeah, get some kids. I'll get some kids. Any gender. Sure. Get some daughters. All kids. I'll get some. Yeah, get some kids. I'll get some kids. Any gender. Sure. Get some daughters. All kids. Come on over. We'll play some Fortnite.

Okay, we'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Maximum fun.

A worker-owned company that's dedicated to the needs of the people who need it. Maximum fun. A worker-owned company that's dedicated to the needs of the people who need it. Maximum fun. Maximum fun. Maximum fun. Maximum fun. Maximum fun. Maximum fun. I do love you.