Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 130: Hansen Camp with The Sklar Brothers
Episode Date: April 16, 2010The Sklar Brothers join Jesse and Jordan for a talk about Hansen, the dark side of Canada and more. ...
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Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free.
Unto the locks and throw away the keys, and take off your shoes and socks and run you.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective.
And this is...
Jordan, Jesse, go!
Icicles, tricycles, ice cream, candy, lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks,
Solomon, friendly, maggoty, edgy, twiddle, dum, tw, go, we'll talk about Hanson, Canada's unearned reputation for kindness and more with the Sklar brothers.
Let's go.
It's Jordan, Jesse, go.
I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Jordan, what are you doing with your microphone today?
Your microphone is literally like a foot off to the side.
It's like...
I'm trying to have a signature style with my microphone.
Is that your signature mic?
Everybody has all the greats, all the great microphone wielders.
This is sort of like Steven Tyler's tying scarves to his microphone.
And this is me. I have it at a weird angle. Okay. Fair enough like Steven Tyler's tying scarves to his microphone. And this is me.
I have it at a weird angle.
Okay.
Fair enough, Jordan.
I'm not going to...
Look, I'm not here
to correct you,
tell you what you're doing wrong.
You know,
that's the listener's job.
Sure.
You should be supportive.
Yeah.
I try and support you
whenever I can, you know.
Jordan, Jesse, go.
We have some wonderful guests
here today. Old favorites. It has you know. Jordan, Jesse, go. We have some wonderful guests here today.
Old favorites.
It has been literally, Jordan, years since these guys have been here.
I think we're looking at two years maybe since the last time they were on the program, which is too bad because –
Too long.
That's too long.
These are two of the most popular guests we've ever had on the program.
The Sklar brothers, Randy and Jason, gentlemen, welcome to the show.
Jordan, Jesse.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
He's not here.
He's not here to start no trouble.
No.
He says, which I never understood that from the Superbowl shuffle, the 1985 Chicago bear.
We're not here to start no trouble.
So were you there to start trouble or were you the double negative makes it hard to not
start trouble?
Are you, they're just here to do the Superbowl shuffle.
So they kind of were like, we're going to start some trouble.
Some trouble, but not a lot of trouble.
And could the trouble be born out of the Super Bowl shuffle?
Here's the secondary question.
He could cramp up.
There are so many questions.
If you don't stretch appropriately, you're going to cramp up.
My other question is, are they there to do a dance or play a football game?
Neither. They were there to do neither. or play a football game? Neither.
Neither.
They were there to do neither.
They were there to not start trouble.
Their rap, I would say their rap was so bad it was offensive to black people.
I would say their rap was so bad it was offensive to smoothies
by the transitive property of healthy wrap sandwiches.
By their connection to healthy wrap sandwiches.
The connection to healthy wrap sandwiches.
The fact that those two things are often sold at the same store.
All together.
I like that you're at a weird angle.
I want to call you Weird Angle Yankovic if I could.
Weird Angle Yankovic over there.
Can I say something?
I'm just like, hey, 36 degrees.
That's a weird angle.
I said it in kind of a weird way.
That was.
Something really important and very Weird Angle Yankovic related happened to me yesterday,
which is someone sent me a music video for a new song by the band Hanson.
Sure.
Still doing Jesus-related music.
Are you guys familiar with this Hanson?
I didn't know Hanson.
I mean, I could see how they would be.
Whenever someone goes into the wilderness and they were childhood stars, I'm always like,
they found Jesus.
They're coming back with the Lord.
Coming back with the Lord.
Apparently, here's the thing about Hanson.
Because our friend Andrew WK was on the show.
Love Andrew WK.
A couple years ago.
Was he bleeding when he was on the show?
He was not bleeding.
He was effusive, full of love.
Wearing white?
He was wearing a plain khaki baseball cap.
Right.
That's it. And like a cap. Right. That's it.
And like a polo shirt.
That's it.
The khaki baseball cap is definitely a weird accoutrement to be like, oh, yeah.
He dresses like...
Who are you rooting for?
Desert Shield?
The Gap?
Desert Shield.
The precursor to Desert Storm.
He does collect Desert Storm trading cards.
Yeah, exactly.
By Topps. Sure. The Top collect Desert Storm trading cards. Yeah, exactly. By Topps.
Sure.
The Topps company.
Love it.
Andrew W.K.
was on the show
a couple years ago.
Norman Schwarzkopf
rookie card.
He told us.
I've got a
Colin Powell
future stars.
Nice.
Foil pack?
Yeah, maybe.
This is pretty
We're talking wax pack.
I've got a Don Rumsfeld inaction.
You know what I mean?
Where he's denying something.
Where he's literally suppressing a memo.
Andrew WK told us that when he was on our show,
he had just come back from this thing that apparently Hanson do every year.
And it's sort of like a songwriting fantasy camp.
But it's not a fantasy.
Like, it's for famous songwriters only.
It's not a thing where, you know, you could go to write a song with Jackson Brown or whatever.
Right.
It's Hanson.
It's Hanson and all these other, like other famous and accomplished songwriters and musicians.
And they go for, I don't know, it's like four days in whatever Hanson's home base is.
Cheyenne, Wyoming.
Yeah, Indianapolis, Indiana.
Sure.
Just there.
Great city.
They have a studio complex there.
Right.
And they basically, like, everybody says what instruments they play.
And then they, like, mix up and form new bands and groups.
Super groups.
Each day.
Super groups.
Yeah.
Well, if you've got Taylor Hanson on vocals and Andrew WK on piano, you're looking at a...
So WK went to this fantasy camp.
So Andrew WK went to this.
And not only did he say...
I mean, to be honest, there's not a lot of things that Andrew W.K. is down on.
I wouldn't expect him to be down on.
Besides maybe being down on things.
Right.
He's definitely down on being down on things.
Not partying.
Yeah.
Not giving your mom a hug is probably something Andrew W.K. would be against.
Giving 90%.
Yeah, exactly.
He's down on that. That's probably something Andrew WK would be against. Sure. Giving 90%. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
He's down on that.
But what Andrew told us was, A, that the Hanson guys are not only exceptionally talented musicians and songwriters,
which I think everybody was on board with that because they wrote all those hit records when they were 16.
You write a lyric like, and by all those hit records, you mean one.
Yeah.
They made all those hit record and the song.
And Mbop remix.
Yeah.
No,
they,
they are widely recognized as being good musicians.
They're skilled musicians,
but also really,
really nice guys,
really decent fellas.
And also that he,
that this was like a really amazing experience for him.
Awesome.
To go and write.
I don't remember.
It was like him and,
you know, the guitarist from Slayer and like Burt Bacharach and Taylor Hansen or something like that.
A group that I've always wanted.
Bernie Taupin.
Bernie, yeah.
Townes Van Zandt.
He had Holland and Holland, but not Dozier in his group.
Dozier was in a different group.
Over the other way.
Oates did a keynote from Hall & Oates.
And so anyway, there's this new Hanson video.
And not only is it, I feel like I'm really confused about my identity.
Because generally, I don't enjoy what we would call the music of the whites.
It's just not my thing.
I can respect it, but I don't intend to enjoy it.
Sure.
But number one, this rock and roll tune they've penned is just exceedingly pleasant.
Are you serious?
Yes.
What's the name of the song?
What is the name of the song?
It's called, gosh, it's escaping my mind.
It's called Not Thinking About You or something like that.
Can we find this on the YouTube?
Oh, you can absolutely
find it on the YouTube.
You can find it on
MaximumFun.org
because I posted the video.
So number one.
All right, good.
Number one,
exceedingly pleasant song.
Sure, sure.
It's got some horns,
which I know you'll enjoy, Jordan.
Oh, sure.
You're a horny type guy.
Yeah.
Just to clarify,
I don't feel sexual.
I'm actually a eunuch.
But I like a good brass section.
The Tijuana Brass is my favorite band.
I'm warning you, by the way.
It's a music for eunuchs.
You get into this.
Hanson is a gateway band.
You'll start here.
A week later, you'll be in the Nickelback.
It's going to be a horrible downward spiral for you.
From there, Sugar Ray.
If Hanson is a gateway band,
it may be a gateway band to like Phish or something like that.
Like I may start to like I would go Hanson and then Dave Matthews and then Phish.
No, I think you're going on the wrong trajectory.
Yeah, yeah.
I think that's like Roots.
I think it's Roots Rock with a lot of musicianship
where I start talking about musicianship too much.
Right.
Jack Johnson, who we've argued Jack Johnson.
Jack Johnson, maybe his biggest flaw is that he's a little too prolific.
You know what I mean?
I would like slow down.
Dial it down.
Put a few of those songs in the closet for a while, buddy.
You don't need to come up with an album every 48 hours.
And just because you can sing in flip-flops doesn't make you casual.
It doesn't mean you should sing in flip-flops.
Yeah.
Actually, the fact that he's singing in flip-flops
actually makes me more nervous.
I'm like, someone's going to drop an amp on his foot.
He's going to get electrocuted.
It's unsafe.
Is he grounded?
I don't know if he's actually grounded.
It's unsafe.
Well, I mean, he's mostly on a beach.
Hermit crab attacks are a concern.
You've got an exposed foot if you're at a campfire,
an ember, a spark.
A stray ember.
You could definitely get a burn.
At any moment, there could be a photograph of Jack Johnson with a big sort of explosion caption that says,
Owie!
Exclamation mark.
And that's his new album.
This Hanson video is not only is it an exceptionally pleasant song.
Sure.
It's a great video, I'm sure.
It's a great video. Right. This video is, the premise of the video is, I'm sure you exceptionally pleasant song. Sure, it's a great video, I'm sure. It's a great video.
This video is, the premise of the video is,
I'm sure you guys have seen the film The Blues Brothers.
Sure.
Are you talking about The Blues Brothers 2000?
No, no, there was one before that.
There was one before that.
There was one before The Blues Brothers 2000.
I thought it was just about two guys and a kid and sunglasses.
Yeah, no, it's Blues Brothers 2000 I'm talking about.
What I like about Blues Brothers 2000 is they thought, you know what this movie, what the first widely enjoyed movie needs?
Yeah.
A kid.
But then they thought, and a black guy.
They couldn't decide between whether they should add a black guy or a kid.
So it was either a black guy and a kid.
It was either a black guy or a talking dog.
That's right.
That was like...
They literally could have done all three in one
if they just would have hired Will Smith's son.
You're lucky we didn't include a CGI baby.
No, I would have gone for that.
I love that they're like,
we are going to make a timeless classic
and call it the Blues Brothers 2000.
This won't get anarchic at all.
In the original, I don't know if you, I don't remember.
It was a little anarchic.
It was a little anarchic.
Did the plot revolve around poisonous pagers?
Like poison pagers.
It was literally like someone.
It was about MySpace.
It was about MySpace.
This will live forever.
Laser disc.
You guys remember Ray Charles was featured In the original Blues Brothers
As the proprietor of Ray's Music Exchange
Shake Your Tail Feather
And he did this Shake Your Tail Feather
So what the video is
Is a recreation of that dance number
From the Blues Brothers
With this R&B flavored
Roots rock song
And it's delightful
And not only that Weird Al Yankovic is in this video B flavored roots rock song or, you know, and, uh, uh, it's delightful.
And not only that,
uh,
weird Al Yankovic is in this video. And the fact of the matter is that if you dislike weird Al Yankovic,
it's just cause you're a jerk,
right?
Like you're just a jerk.
He is.
You're a hater.
He's a,
he is amazing.
Like not only are his songs spot on and you may not,
you may,
here's what I would say.
You could not like song parodies. And if that's the case, you're not... Here's what I would say. You could not like
song parodies. And if that's the case,
you're never going to like Weird Al.
But if you are a fan of someone doing
something extremely well,
he is
the absolute best
at... Not only does he have a great
voice, he writes really funny lyrics.
He nails the songs. He's spot on.
I was cruising around
youtube the other day think of fat think of that but no no i heard his uh don't want to be a
canadian idiot which was like the american idiot take off of the green day song he nailed it it was
so funny i i honestly have a lot of respect for him and and really actually now he's kind of
started to traverse in to alternative comedy circles.
Like,
you know,
we did Scott,
our buddy,
Scott Aukerman,
who runs CDR.
He's had him on his radio show and he's like starting to wind up.
We saw him at that night of 140 tweets.
Weird Al was hanging out there.
He's just,
I love that he's sort of connecting with that.
So he's like kind of getting some street cred within the sort of the
comedy snob generation.
And what I like about the Weird Al's cameo in this video is that Weird Al is just in the video playing the tambourine.
Not doing too much.
Number one, I think what happened is the Hanson guys were like, hey, we're by all accounts some really sweet guys.
Sure.
Like just nice fellas who just love music and having fun.
We do a fantasy camp, for Christ's sake.
Exactly.
And then Weird Al is like, hey, guess who I am?
I'm also by all accounts.
A similar guy.
Exactly.
A guy who loves making music and having fun.
And they were like, hey, Weird, do you want to be in our video?
Here's a tambourine.
Rock out.
I love it.
I love it.
I think Weird Al should have a parody fantasy camp.
It's like a parody of fantasy camps.
Of a camp.
Yeah, man, I wish I could remember what they were
because I'm sure that they're hilarious and dated.
But I definitely remember a time in junior high
trying to think of song parody ideas
with the intent of mailing them to Weird Al.
That's awesome.
That's definitely something I did.
I wish I could remember them.
I wish you could, too.
That would have been 30 minutes.
I will try.
He's going to be incredibly silent for the rest of this thing.
Probably something about Cypress Hill's Insane in the Membrane.
Sure, sure.
It's great.
Insane in the Membrane.
Here's the thing I would like to know about Hanson.
Is that they are, if I'm not mistaken, Hanson's not something that gets played on the top 40 radio these days.
Not anymore.
No, I don't think so.
Not anymore.
I think they do have a following, though.
I think that's what leads me to suggest there may be a little bit Dave Matthews.
Yeah, but I'm wondering who this following is.
I don't think it's Dave Matthews.
Because I remember the height of Hanson fame.
Sure.
You know, the Mbappes.
Right.
Drummer was eight.
Sure, right?
I, you know, the Hanson fan was, you know, every girl 12 and under.
12-year-old.
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
The same, the Jonas Brothers crowd.
I would say Justin Bieber.
Sure.
There was a girl at my high school.
Bieber-esque.
I remember there was a girl at my high school.
And this is, Hanson Mbop happened when I was like 11.
Sure.
And there was a girl at my high school.
I was maybe a sophomore or junior in high school.
And this girl was a freshman in high school, 14 years old,
literally three years after Hanson broke big.
Still a fan.
Still way into Hanson.
Still wearing Hanson.
Still listening to the Hanson Christmas album in months other than December.
Right, which maybe she was having her own Christmas in July sale.
So is it just the current Hanson fans are just the people who have stuck with them,
or do they occupy a different cultural space?
I don't know. Bieber, like, I see Bieber as like a—
How do you see the Biebs?
The Biebs I see as the third indigo girl, because he is a little—
He does have a lesbian haircut.
He really does.
Any way you slice that up.
Any way you slice that haircut up. I think one of his great innovations musically is the horizontality of his haircut.
Oh, yeah.
I think there have been people with somewhat horizontal haircuts, but his is fully horizontal.
That's right.
It sort of looks like if you took a single piece of string and wrapped it around a tennis ball,
starting at the center line and then going all the way up to the very top. Sort of looks like if you took a single piece of string and wrapped it around a tennis ball. Sure.
Starting at the center line and then going all the way up to the very top.
Like that's essentially his head.
He's got like a side Trump.
He does.
It's not like an over-the-top Trump, but it is taking a few pieces. You know what it's almost like is a 360-degree Trump.
That's right.
It's like a circular Trump.
He is Trumped Trump.
He literally,
his hair is so horizontal
it's prostrate.
This is the kid
that Usher molests, right?
This is the kid
that Usher has taken
under his wing.
He has ushered
in a new era.
I have to say that
I have to say that
as long as I'm admitting
to these things,
I watched the
Saturday Night Live
with Justin Bieber.
Watched it too. I had not seen Justin Bieber perform. I wasn the Saturday Night Live with Justin Bieber. Watched it too.
I had not seen Justin Bieber perform.
I wasn't familiar with his music at all.
I'm familiar with the music of Usher, certainly.
Are you familiar?
I know about Usher.
Sure.
Are you familiar with computers?
Then you'll be familiar with Justin Bieber.
Go rent the movie Short Circuit 2.
If that robot sings at all in there, you've got it.
I was aware of him in it.
But you know what?
I got nothing against him.
Sure.
Found his song reasonably pleasant.
I don't like – the one thing I didn't like about his song is I don't like an R&B song where in the guitar they bring in – in the chorus they bring in a shitty rock guitar to make sure that white people know it's okay for them to buy this record.
You can buy it, too.
They get a little something from everybody,
like maybe a little banjo in there to let the country folk know.
They just need a little fiddle break.
Do you remember at the Grammys?
We need something for the Zydeco crowd.
Washboard.
Somebody get those little, like the thing playing on some spoons.
The outro's got a dobro, folks.
Just show NASCAR behind him.
Bieber at the Grammys this past year, I remember, like, Jamie Foxx did his, it's all about the alcohol thing.
And, like, T-Pain came in, and he was on a vocorder, and T-Pain was on a vocalizer.
I think it's called a vocorder.
Vocorder.
So he's on all these, like, there's all these computerized voices and stuff and it just was like pow and there were all these like hot women it was like everybody
the energy was so high on howard's way of the club he insane and then it cut to bieber who had to like
introduce and present the next award and i swear to god the look of fear in his eyes it looked like
it looked like he had been raped by a vocorder i swear to god he was just kind of standing there
with just like the the look of fear in his eyes.
Probably somebody tricked him into drinking some codeine cough syrup.
Hello.
Perhaps.
You know, frankly, I would take Bieber over Jamie Foxx just eight ways till Sunday.
Really?
That's not an expression, but...
It should be.
I would take him over Jamie Foxx any given Sunday.
It should be. I would take him over, Jamie Foxx, any given Sunday.
Jamie Foxx's music is so...
And let's be clear, I enjoy R&B music.
Sure.
You love the music of the R&B.
And you love the movie Stealth.
Are you a Lee Fields fan?
I'm not familiar with Lee Fields.
Do I need to be?
Yeah.
You know Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings?
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
So Lee Fields sings a song, a duet with Sharon Jones called Stranded in Your Love, I believe
is the name of the song.
Phenomenal song.
And then he is kind of on his own.
He's like a modern day James Brown.
He's in this sort of Dap Tones.
Yes.
It's this very much like we're making music right now that sounds like it was made in 1972.
So he's kind of like James Brown and Al Green and all, but he's got his own thing going on.
And it's just, he's amazing.
If you like the R&B, you would love.
That's interesting.
He's like a black Justin Bieber.
Okay.
Well, sounds great.
I'm in.
We'll be back in just a second with Jordan and Jesse Go.
It's Jordan and Jesse Go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Randy Sklar.
And Jason Sklar.
The Sklar guys.
That was just like Sklar talk.
Known the world over as the Sklar guys.
We do Sklar talk.
Everybody knows the Sklar guys.
Anybody has a question about the Sklars,
we will answer that in a way that is very relatable to you.
Tick and tack.
Tick and tack.
The Sklar talk.
Sklar talk.
Every Sunday on my local public radio station
What's amazing is
You guys aren't just funny
You also know literally everything about Sklars
We know almost everything there is to know
And we try and package that information
In a palatable way that people can understand
Can you guys just read some blonde jokes
You printed off the internet
That's kind of where we go with it
That's where every show goes at one point.
When you, and I want to be clear that I enjoy car talk and have nothing against it.
But here's some things I have against it.
Here's a long list.
Anytime you start with that sort of a compliment, you know it's going to get trashed.
It comes to hammer.
But when they read the jokes from the internet, do you ever find yourself thinking like,
what leads them to believe they're allowed to do this?
Well, Paul F. Tompkins once said on stage, and this is a friend of ours and a great comic.
He once said, you know, people in America don't, like, we get so, when the whole Carlos Mencia thing happened and everybody was like, ah, he's stealing jokes from.
And Joe Rogan called him out on stage.
Joe Rogan called out on it.
That was a big deal for comics.
Right.
Yeah, sure.
Because we're like, call the guy out because all we have is –
And also Joe Rogan knows karate.
So he can –
He had an element of danger.
Jiu-jitsu, which as Jews we have to appreciate.
He's got Jew in the name.
He literally –
But like for us it was a big deal because as comics we understand that you're –
All you own is your stuff and your idea.
And if someone bigger than you takes it and does it on a show, that's why people for years were angry at Robin Williams or wouldn't do their material when he was in the room.
All right.
So it's a big deal for us.
Can I say one thing?
Sure.
Did you guys know that jujitsu was invented by Haim Jitsu?
Yeah, I did.
I did know that because he was just going to call it jitsu and then they're like –
Well, they're like, whose jitsu is this?
They're like, it's the Jews.
He later had some success with some bees didn't he a brand
of bees he did you do you be let's talk about uh comedians i love that a candied bee that was one
from weird angle yankovic yankovic throwing 98 degrees everybody heic throwing him from the side. 98 degrees, everybody. Weird Angle. He's throwing him from a 68-degree angle over there.
So anyway, the point is that America doesn't care.
America will – your uncle who's not into comedy will take a joke that he read off the internet and say it and not give any credit to anybody.
Say it like it's his joke.
Or people will hear something on TV on Conan or whatever and then turn around and say it as if they came up with it.
People do that all the time.
And won't care about it.
So, again, it's like people don't care if there's that sort of a thing going on.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, it's fine.
I mean, like I said, I enjoy the show.
I sincerely enjoy the show.
But whenever they do that, I'm like, you know, they could just cut this part.
There's no – the other part is –
Like you don't need it.
You're better than that.
Why do you need that? Yeah, you're good at the
other thing. Why are you going outside of your comfort zone?
Yeah, let's get two puzzlers. Let's do
two puzzlers. I'm on board for that.
Unless two blondes are working on
a 59 T-Bird. I don't want
to hear about them. I don't want to hear about them. Okay, Jordan,
I want to talk to you because
you just returned from the
great frozen north.
Sure. The beautiful communist nation of Canada.
Take off, eh, you hoser.
Yes.
Good one.
Thank you, eh.
I just watched a bunch of clips of Bob and Doug McKenzie.
Those are guys.
If only we could work it into some kind of song parody.
Oh, take off, eh.
Here it comes.
Eh.
That's exactly what it was like.
That's basically my whole trip right there.
Okay, good. I want to hear about about it and then we'll talk about our
Canada is white America 1977
That's all it is
It's just like
A lot of station wagons
A lot of wood paneling
A lot of Geddy Lee
A friend of ours said his parents live in a neighborhood
With Geddy Lee and that Geddy Lee in Toronto
Not only does he mow his own lawn
But he mows his own lawn with his t-shirt off So he's like, just imagine Geddy Lee I that Geddy Lee in Toronto, not only does he mow his own lawn, but he mows his own lawn with his T-shirt off.
So he's like, just imagine Geddy Lee.
I thought you were going to say,
not only does he mow his own lawn,
he also runs a lawn mowing service.
He mows lawns for five bucks free.
It's called Geddy Lee's shirt off mow your lawn service.
No, it's called Modern Day Grass Warriors.
It's called Glistenin' Geddy's.
He is a new world man.
So you were in Canada, Jordan, both to work in the great city of Vancouver,
but also to enjoy some time with our new stablemates.
Stop podcasting yourself.
Yeah, yeah.
I got to do their show with our frequent contributor, Chris Fairbanks.
One of the best.
And, yeah, it was a lovely time.
It was hilarious.
I enjoyed listening to it on my way to go to the Salvation Army.
It was a delight.
Did you enlist in the Salvation Army?
I did.
I signed up.
When is the Salvation Army sending a delegation over to Afghanistan?
They're like, we're just going to send you guys all the time.
They're just going to hurl filthy stuffed animals.
Just all the crappy end tables and clothes that people don't want anymore.
That's how we'll smoke them out of the holes.
A Fun Run t-shirt.
Throw that.
So, yeah.
But I had –
I joined the South Army and got some balms and unguents.
Nice.
There you go.
Sure.
Brilliantly done.
Cows utter.
Excuse me.
Take it.
But I had a bad experience that's just kind of been leaving a taste in my mouth that I don't care for.
See, now this is weird because most people come back from Canada and all they can talk about is how lovely everyone in Canada is.
Yeah, yeah.
How laid back the women are.
Very. everyone in Canada is. Yeah, yeah, but... How laid back the women are. Judge, very.
Yeah, if you've got a little hat with ear flaps,
they're game.
I don't know.
Nah, it's fine.
Jordan, you should write a version of the game for Canada.
Yeah, exactly.
Hat with ear flaps, rope for a belt.
It's on.
Time to get your dick wet.
Up in Chilliwack.
Sure.
So this,
we were up there
doing a story
on a video game
that was being made
in Canada
for my day job
at Fuel TV.
And let me
start out by saying that the guy
I'm going to be complaining about
was being unpleasant anyways.
So he was, this is a guy
So this was a real click and
clack type guy. Sure, sure.
And I mentioned this on Stop Podcasting
yourself, but this was a
this was the
kind of PR agent for the video game that was being our liaison.
I need to pause you for a second to acknowledge whatever that was just now that came out of Randy's car.
You're on Car Talk.
Was that supposed to be a – is that a Boston accent?
It is not.
You're on Car Talk.
No, that's still not close.
Talk amongst yourselves about cars. You're on Car talk. No, it's still not close. Talk amongst yourselves
about cars. You're on car talk.
Dude, you're on car talk.
Dude, you're not going to believe me. Dude, you're on car talk.
You're on car talk. Alright, go.
So, this is the guy
the PR agent, and he's
being obnoxious. This man has
made probably half a dozen
that's what she said jokes. Okay.
In the first half an hour that we were with him. This is a guy who casually will say that's what she said jokes okay in the first half an hour that wow okay
this is a guy who casually will say that's what she said but in his defense that is actually what
she said i mean so she said a lot of things but he was trying to no need to rub it in no need to
rub it in she feels bad about it she was there she didn't she could have and she's and the whole
thing is that she's blonde speaking of blond blondes, you're on Car Talk.
Here in the United States, that's sort of a joke set up.
But in Canada, they allow women to speak.
They do.
They do.
That's what's weird.
So she says a lot of things.
These are the little cultural differences that sometimes create misunderstandings.
Not in Winnipeg, but nonetheless.
No problem.
But anyways, so this guy went just randomly, asked us where we were based out of,
and we're like, you know, go to the office in Santa Monica.
We all live in L.A.
And just went on the I hate L.A. tirade.
The, oh, you have to drive everywhere.
You have to drive everywhere.
There's nowhere to walk to in L.A.
And everybody is so
shallow. They just look
you up and down. And if you're not worth talking
to, they just walk away. And
I was
so offended. Did you look
him up and down and then walk away? I did.
And then I called my agent. You should have looked
him up and down and said, that's what she said.
Boom, you're out of there.
Which is
less to do with that I have an attachment to L.A., but hey, dude, you just met me and you're insulting where me and all of my friends live.
And, like, how – why do you do this to an almost complete stranger?
And also, yeah, L.A.'s got traffic.
Thanks.
Thanks, asshole.
Good one.
Yeah.
Anyways, I don't know.
I just want, like, I have this bad taste.
You were in Vancouver, which, based on the three days I spent, is some kind of hippie wonderland.
It's sort of like super Portland.
Oh, it's fantastic.
Oh, it is.
It is.
The jewel of North America.
And to kind of put a crack in his thesis, later, when we were leaving, we're like, so what's maybe fun to do tonight?
And he's like, I don't know, nothing.
Really?
So, yeah, well, we're just going to go back to fucking terrible L.A.
Anyway.
Well, you know what you've got to watch out for up in Vancouver?
Asian gangs.
Remember that was the big thing that your parents would be like, hey, we're going up to Vancouver. Watch out for the Asian gangs. Remember that was the big thing that your parents
would be like,
hey, we're going
up to Vancouver.
Watch out for the Asian gangs.
Get off the plane
and just Asian gangs.
They will get in your face.
They will teach you math.
They will knife the shit out of you.
That was it.
Asian gangs are just
roaming the streets
looking for white people
to destroy.
That's what I would have
come back at him with.
You from Vancouver?
Asian gangs.
I'm surprised you're still alive.
Our Asians are
submissive and pleasant.
They're Asians. They're gang members.
Gang bangers. Am I wrong
to be this offended by this? Yes, you are.
A little bit. Okay.
I mean, here's the thing.
As you know,
I'm no great civic booster
of the city of Los Angeles.
You have no civic pride.
I literally am without civic pride.
That's okay.
I have a little bit of civic shame.
Who in LA does have civic pride?
Who has civic pride in LA?
I don't know.
Diehard Lakers fans.
I would argue that Antonio Villaraigosa, basically.
He's like, yeah.
The weather's nice.
Where do you live?
LA.
It's all right.
Aren't you the mayor?
Yeah. You know, whatever. Aren't you the mayor? Yeah.
You know, whatever.
Thinking about moving to Seattle.
It's no Vancouver.
Yeah.
So that's the sort of baseline here.
Sure.
As I've made clear on the program, I probably agree with every single thing that he said.
However, the thing that makes me think that it was it was a dick move yeah is that he was a publicist and
uh just anything that a publicist does uh strikes me as a dick move because they're just they're
publicists literally the most unpleasant people in the world and with some exceptions i i certainly
have interacted with publicists who are really cool yeah but i don't think i have ever had such
a consistent miss rate as I have with publicists.
Here's the thing about maybe his complaint about people
looking him up and down and then not wanting to
talk to him. This is an obnoxious
person. So maybe it has less to do
with geography and more to do with
you're making a lot of that's what she said jokes.
Yeah. In casual conversation.
Anyway. But I love that like this
guy now represents Canada for you.
Yeah, yeah.
And the myth of the polite, welcoming Canadian has just been destroyed.
This one guy?
You're going to let this one guy destroy that? Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and do that.
What I kind of wonder about this is what is a video game publicist like?
Because I interact with publicists in all different areas of entertainment in my role as producer of The Sound of Young America.
And I'll tell you that certainly the best publicists that I've interacted with are book publicists.
Sure.
Because they're people who wanted to work in books, not people who wanted to work in, I don't know, show business, I guess.
Exactly. Sure. Didn't make it up there. there and then sort of like and then basically the the creepier and more like all the worst
qualities that people like an agent on a television show has like kind of weird two-facedness uh the
you get the more that the further down the sort of success of the entertainment world line you go
but these people are almost invariably i mean 85 the time, it's either a popular girl from high school
who doesn't have any skills.
That's right.
Or it's a...
Douchey guy.
Or it's a sort of a particular kind
of sort of femmy, queeny, douchey guy.
That's right.
And I almost never, I mean, once in a great while, it's that kind of douchey guy that's like you. And I almost never, I mean once in a great while it's that kind
of douchey guy that's like you would
see an agent be on TV like a
sort of weirdly aggressive guy.
But because such a big part
of their job is sort of
backhanded, fondish,
you know, schmoozy
bullshit, it's rarely that kind of
guy who's just a dick. Right. You can't
get very far in that way.
But mostly their attitude as a publicist is sort of like, I have something that I know you want.
So I'm on the inside and you're on the outside and I'm going to make you want it.
But I got to be honest with you, Jordan.
I don't know if I'm on your – I don't know if I can on your page with like –
Yeah, no, no.
Let's hear it.
I don't know.
I could be being – and this was weeks ago.
So I mean,
I'm still,
I'm still seething about it.
You are seething about it.
I,
I don't know if I would have been that upset with this guy.
Okay.
I just would have found him to be somewhat a hilarious,
absurd character.
Yeah,
exactly.
I would have like,
uh,
wanted to break down what was going on with this guy and find out who he was.
Like,
that's the type of guy you want to just really get into his head
and be like, well, who are you?
And why are you saying this?
Why are you so angry?
I should have made it a character study.
Really?
Psychological.
What was the tone of this guy?
Because the thing that I'm wondering is those qualities
that one would associate with a publicist
are basically the exact opposite qualities
that one would associate with the video entertainment industry.
With a human being.
Yeah, yeah.
There's two kinds of video game publicists.
There are people who just want to be in publicity and would maybe rather be working on Heidi Montag's novel.
That really seems like it would be.
Or Heidi Montag's V-Jazzling her vagina
Sure
Which is a video game
Heidi Montag's V-Jazzling her vagina
It's basically like Burger Time
For her hoo-ha
And you try and put Jules as close as you can
And then there's someone you can't touch
I have some great mini-games
Get ready to go to break
Because I have the line that's going to take us to break
Put your hand on the computer and get ready to go to break.
You know what this –
You're welcome.
But is he ready for break?
Okay.
Ask our guest.
Wait, wait.
One more thing.
Okay.
A, two kinds of video game publicists, people who just want to be in publicity and don't care about video games,
and super nerds who just want to work around video games but don't have computer skills.
This guy was a super nerd who has no computer skills. Okay. Got it skills okay got it thing two uh i guess here's the question i'm posing uh maybe um
something we can answer something we cannot answer um i imagine if i if if uh i was talking to him
and i just was started railing about vancouver unpted. Man, fuck this place. It's rainy.
Asian gangs are kicking me wherever I go.
Which is true.
That actually is what she said.
That's what she said.
Yeah, yeah.
And this poutine.
Don't get me started on that.
I would be a rude dick, right?
But since he did it to where I live,
just because it happens to be L.A.,
do people just have carte blanche to complain about L.A.
to whoever?
L.A. does sort of have a hegemonic
power over the entire United States.
People love to see it go down.
People love to see LA go down.
Anyway, so is that okay and just something I should
accept and not be offended by?
Yes, it is. But I'm going to suggest
put your hand on the computer.
Okay, wait.
Get ready to go on the computer.
Wait, do I need to mention Heidi Montag again?
Yes, please.
Do you want to mention her again?
What's up with Heidi Montag?
Wait a minute.
Is she still famous?
Jordan, are you her publicist?
That's not what we're going to break on,
but here's what I think this guy really needs.
Finger on the button.
Closer.
Here's what this guy really needs.
This is going to fall so flat.
Randy Sklar, what does this guy really need?
He needs to go to Hanson Camp.
What?
To really chill out and relax.
I feel like if he goes to Hanson Camp, he's going to.
I thought it was going to be a pun.
No, he needs to go to Hanson Camp.
I'm thinking it's going to be JJ related.
I'm trying to basically do a mental herald here and bring it back around.
I'm imagining, as he says that, I'm trying to think of a pun involving Hanson Soda.
I literally, I went that far down that this has to be some kind of pun that I'm not getting.
I said this guy's got to go to Hanson.
Or Chris Hanson, hardball.
Okay, look, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go.
hardball okay look we'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective
randy sklar man detective jason sklar randy's brother detective detective randy's brother
detective yeah he is he is the detective who follows me around. What's nice about being a Randy's brother detective is that the actual detecting isn't that hard.
No, you can just ask your mom.
Or his wife.
Or I can keep tabs on Randy.
He pretty much knows my schedule.
I do.
So, I mean, it's an easy job.
I assumed that a Randy's brother detective, his job was to figure out if he was Randy's brother.
Oh, well, that's part of it, too.
That's pretty easy. Once you figure that out. Just ask Mrs. Sklar. That's brother. Oh, well, that's part of it, too. That's pretty easy.
Once you figure that out.
Just ask Mrs. Sklar.
That's right.
Or take a DNA test.
Yeah.
I have to say, I said Chris Hansen was the host of Hardball.
Chris Matthews.
Chris Matthews.
Chris Hansen is actually the inventor of Hansen soda.
That's right.
And he's also on To Catch a Predator.
Those are his two great contributions.
Before he scolds the potential child molesters
He hands them like a diet pomegranate
Cherry vanilla soda
Diet pomegranate, enjoy
This takes a long sip
Anyway, back to your child molesting
It's great to have the Sklar brothers here
So I have a question for you guys
You guys have lately been touring on this
Chelsea Handler Comed on this Chelsea Handler, Comedians
of Chelsea Handler, Chelsea Lately
tour.
Among the people who sometimes
perform on these is our good pal and
sometime guest on Jordan Jesse
Go, Jen Kirkman, who writes for the show.
Love her. Lots of great
people are involved in these panels.
However... Hardwick make it out sometimes?
Hardwick does not.
I don't think he tours because of his web soup.
But I mean, Hardwick basically tours a lot with Joel McHale.
So they'll go out together.
I would love it if Hardwick were to travel on these tours.
Because he's great.
And Matt Bronger is another guy I'd love to go out with from there.
He's fantastic.
Fantastic.
Monster.
Yeah, we're with Kirkman at the end of the month in Denverver on the 31st is it are there 31 days so this is a show yeah and i'm i'm not uh
you know i i feel like chelsea handler has such a specific tone to her program but i got news for
you man it goes everywhere so this. So this is what... Everywhere.
This is the thing that I'm wondering,
because you guys,
you had these circles of these spheres of influence where I imagine if you do a show just at a club
where you're headlining,
you're pulling people from these various spheres of influence.
You're pulling people who know you
from the sort of alternative comedy world,
who know you from...
Comedy Central. who know you from the sort of alternative comedy world. That's right. Who know you from, you know,
where we're like Paul F. Tompkins and David Cross
and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Like that kind of thing.
And then there's people who know you
because of your reputation as sports comedians.
Yeah, that's right.
You sometimes guest host the Jim Rome show.
Cheap seats.
Of course, cheap seats seats your television program and your
streaming award winning
internet television program
back on tops which is very funny
so
they know you from this and I cannot
imagine like the alternative
comedy world could not
be more opposed to
Chelsea Handler
the sports world could not be more opposed to Chelsea Handler. The sports world could not be more opposed to Chelsea Handler.
The Chelsea Handler world, I would imagine, probably pretty opposed at least to the sports
world.
So who is at this show?
Well, that's actually a phenomenal question.
And we think about it a lot.
Because for us, imagine it as a Venn diagram because we do have these – you've set it up that way.
We do have these circle or spheres of people, and if you take those spheres of all those worlds …
And where do they intersect?
They intersect at a certain point, and the one thing that I love about …
So you're saying the people who come to your shows are those people who love sports, love Chelsea Handler, and love alternative comedy?
There is some.
That is one portion of it.
So he comes to your show.
That guy comes to our show.
That guy.
Those people come to the show, but I would say this.
What was that Andy Kindler's old great joke?
My comedy is –
I did a focus group on my comedy is people who love my comedy are people who are in their 40s who are me.
Kindler's the best.
I think what we
do get, and the one thing I love about
what we can do on Chelsea Lately, the
Chelsea Handler Show, is we
get to write our material. So the jokes
we're putting forth are
ours. Now the subject matter is
entertainment and that kind of stuff, but it's the
same kind of comedy,
different subject matter. So if we're doing it about
Heidi Montag, if we're doing
it about any... There's not a segment
producer running up to you and saying,
this is insufficiently catty.
Right. No, no, no. That is correct. I mean, they may say,
like, look, we can't say... Here's a great story.
Justin Bieber. I mean, I could not believe this
made it onto the show. It was ridiculous.
But Bieber turned 16 when we were on the show.
It was his birthday on the show.
And my joke was they were saying about how he had a birthday party.
He hung out with Kobe Bryant.
He played paintball.
I was like, great.
Enjoy it now.
Enjoy it while you're on top because a year from now when your voice drops,
you'll be lucky if you're playing laser tag with the Clippers.
Right. That was my joke. going and going and now going to hansen camp but but what i said that was my joke but then i said this and i wrote it because we write
our jokes ahead of time didn't and sort of send them in there just so they have an idea of what
we're doing uh we have the topics that day we write the jokes get them ready and then hopefully
sort of work on how we want to deliver them uh but I wrote this joke, and I sent it in, and I was like, there's no way they're going to let me do this.
They let me do it.
And then I did it on the show, and the crowd was like, oh.
And I was like, they'll cut it.
They'll cut it.
It made it in the show.
So I was like –
They were just Clippers fans.
Oh, no, no.
This joke that I was –
Oh, okay.
This upcoming joke.
So I said, Justin Bieber turns 16 today, and my problem with him is that he gets everything he wants.
I can't believe that
for Bieber's 16th birthday
he asked for an earthquake
to hit Chile.
Now,
the crowd,
this was the day
after the earthquake
hit Chile.
I said,
don't blame me,
blame Bieber.
I asked for a car.
I asked for a car
on my 16th birthday.
But the fact that
Justin Bieber can control the weather and the earth plate tectonics.
Exactly.
Is it through like a ray?
Is it a ray or is it like a fan?
It's through his publicist.
It's actually through his publicist.
It's through his publicist and his horizontal haircut.
He can move the plates.
But no, but the point of that is that Randy and I, that's the kind of edgy joke that we would do
at UCB Theater.
Right.
And we wrote it
and, you know,
we wrote it actually
expecting them
not to let us do it.
And then he did it
and then it went on the air
and it's out there.
And yeah, okay,
people are offended by that.
But the truth is
that it's in our voice.
Because really,
that's not a comment about,
yay, people are dying from earthquakes in Chile.
More of it, it's a comment on how much power this kid has for no reason.
Right. The premise of the joke is not a negative premise.
No. And again, it kind of fits with, we would make the same joke about a sports guy, like Barry Bonds or somebody new in sport.
I mean, we would find a similar
theme. So I think we do kind of
cross it over. And whenever we guest host
Jim Rome's radio show, it's
not so much delving into the specifics
of sports, but more like when
the NCAA championship happened a few weeks
ago and Butler, who is this sort of
mid-range school in
Indiana from Indianapolis, was in the championship
game against the grand sort of the champion every year, Duke,
who's won, who's been to the final game eight times in the last 25 years.
They won now four of them.
And for us, it was like the feeling of that last shot going up from Butler that it didn't make it.
It's off the rim.
It's off the rim and falls down.
For us, this was – it would have been like what it would have been like if the Cobra Kai won the final match with the Karate Kid.
Like he lines up the – Daniel LaRusso lines up the crane kick, and he goes to kick, and he falls on his face.
And then the guy jumps on his neck and is like, get him a body bag.
So for us, it's all about that.
So it's not so much about sports.
It's about pop culture.
We try and merge the two.
So when we go out and do the comedians at Chelsea lately, now, there are people and comedians who will come with us like joe coy who is you know i actually like his his
him as a performer and i was just you know i hadn't had much of a chance to listen to his
comedy except we're on the road with him and he does a lot of really funny material about
drunk girls girls and and so he is right in the target for these people.
I mean, for him doing these shows,
it's almost like Larry the Cable Guy
standing up at a NASCAR event.
Right.
Like crowd going wild
because he's speaking to this audience.
It's like us performing at UCB.
I mean, it's like that.
But so what we're so encouraged about
is that we've gone,
last week we were in Indianapolis.
Indianapolis and then Milwaukee.
Milwaukee.
We get on stage and we do the same set we would do at UCB.
It's the same material.
It's the same set we do anyway.
We do it at the Improv here in L.A.
We do the set and it resonates with these people and we feel great that we're walking off the stage saying, look, we did it our way.
We didn't try and make it more like something that it wasn't. And it's consistent with what we've been.
You know what happens sometimes?
Last night I was at an event at this nonprofit called Art Share that my wife
is on the board of in downtown Los Angeles.
And it's like, you know,
they like teach dance classes to troubled youths type of situation.
And we did a Sound of Young America taping there.
We taped some comedy sets for the Sound of Young America.
And it was Greg Barrett and Don Glover and Karen Kilgareff
and just generally people that we love.
The Sound of Young America-y people.
And there was a part of me that thought,
gosh, I wonder if these 35-year-old Latina women
that hang out in poetry cafes and talk about music soul child
are going to enjoy this.
Do the comedians
have enough community garden material i think is what you were asking you're asking the question
of like will it will the very specificity that has made them sort of appreciated in the world
of alternative comedy translate to these people but you know what i but then i was at this thing
last night and i you know i did i felt like all the comedians did well during the show and et cetera, et cetera.
But I still was kind of like, I don't know, what do they think of this thing?
Because there was a grand total of zero 24-year-old college-educated male white people in the audience.
Sure.
And four people came up to me and said it was the the most fun they'd ever had. You know, like that kind of thing.
It's like, oh, yeah, people like something that's funny.
Right.
But they don't know what is funny because they're not a fucking comedy nerd like I am.
Right.
And so if you bring them something that's funny, they're like, oh, this is amazing.
There's things that are funny.
Right.
Funny is funny.
Funny is funny funny is funny and if you've crafted it correctly it will you know it'll
sort of translate across all uh platforms and all people and all i mean we think about that like we
will watch a lot of british we love a lot of british comedy and certainly like that we were
talking to you earlier about the mighty bush i mean we're talking about you you can't get enough
uh what are we talking about dark place sure Marenghi's Dark Place. Sure.
Man to Man with Dean.
Dean Lerner.
Are You Being Served?
Yeah.
All that.
Everything.
And, you know, in a lot of cases, even with stuff like with extras, you know, they talk about people and actors that I'd never heard of before.
And I don't know who that is.
But I say to myself.
They have their own little celebrity.
I get it.
But, yes.
It's cute.
It's really cute.
But I get it.
I'm like, I understand who that is.
I don't have to know who that is.
Can I tell you my problem, though, with England?
Is you get there and people fucking look you up and down.
The traffic is terrible.
Traffic is terrible.
They're so shallow.
No one's been to Hanson Camp.
They're so shallow.
No one's been.
They're so shallow.
It's like, get out of here, England.
It's all about your looks.
Someone was just talking to me, though, on this British celebrity issue.
Someone was, God, I wish I could remember who it was.
Someone that I know just spent like a month or three months in London.
And all they could talk about when they came back was how passionate the British public is about Christian Slater.
Like for some reason, Christian Slater is this monstrous star in England.
I was still hoping you were going to say Christian Laettner.
They're obsessed with former Duke forward.
They like a soft big man.
Speaking of a white guy who talks black.
Here's something that was really interesting that we just kind of found out about.
The Dream Team, 1992.
Men's U.S. basketball team was just
who won the gold medal. The original one with Jordan
and Barkley. We're talking Clyde the Glide.
Matt Johnson. Clyde the Glide. So they
were just inducted in the Hall of Fame. Now
as a team
the entire team went to the basketball hall of fame.
Everybody was inducted in the basketball hall of fame.
Including Christian Laettner?
So here's the thing. So everybody on that
team. 95% of the team was already in the Hall of Fame.
So Laettner and Chris Mullen are the only two guys who were not inducted in the Hall of Fame on the Dream Team who weren't already in the Hall of Fame.
You knew that Laettner went around and everyone was like, come on.
We got to go in as a team.
What's amazing is that it's the Professional Basketball Hall of Fame.
He was famous for being the only college player on the team at the time.
He basically was like Dan Aykroyd in We Are the World.
You know what I mean?
What are you doing here?
I know you play basketball, but what are you doing here?
I'm from the city of San Francisco, so let's get real.
You're not going to get me to say anything negative about Run TMC.
You won't.
And I love me some Run TMC.
In fact, Michigan just drafted his son.
If you were to ask me, should Sharunis Marshalonis be in the Hall of Fame, I would say yes.
I would say put him in the Hall of Fame in Latvia.
Put him in the Hall of Fame of names.
Sharunas Marshalonis and Arvidas Sabotis should have done a comp.
And Zydrunas Ilgauskas.
And Zydrunas Ilgauskas.
And call it threes a crowd.
I feel like Sharunas and Arvidas, that would be a pretty solid two-on-two streetball team.
Sharunis and Arvidas.
And just get Yvonne Gouligan to be there for a while.
Just for a brief period.
Vitas Garolaitis.
A girl who played Precious had a pretty funny name, too, huh?
Shit.
That's all I got.
I forget what it is.
If I'm not mistaken, that was Yinka Darre.
Yeah.
Wow.
May he rest in peace.
May he rest in peace. Olive Bishelum. He was in Georgetown. He was Yinka Darre. Yeah. Wow. May he rest in peace. May he rest in peace.
Olive Bishelum.
He was in Georgetown.
He was...
He was...
Don't tell me.
Don't tell me.
George Washington University.
George Washington University.
Oh, Jordan, do you know how happy I am right now?
Just to be able to like...
No, but you brought up Precious.
I did.
We're saying funny sportsmen.
You brought up Precious.
You brought up Precious, so we'll go with that.
By the way, Monique is still finishing up her Oscar acceptance speech. As we speak.
As this thing goes to press.
And you know, I want to send her to Hanson Camp.
But Monique, the thing in Precious
as a parent with kids,
with small children, easily
the hardest moment to watch in this is when she
drops the baby on the floor. And
it just was like really traumatic.
It's so awful. So awful.
Jay and I were thinking, what would have been worse would have been if like after they do that really terrible scene, there was like a sound guy off in the corner who was like, I need one more for me.
Really, Dave?
Can I get one more for me?
Really?
I thought I heard a siren outside.
They live in the ghetto.
Of course they're going to hear a siren, Dave.
You know what?
It just would be better.
Get the baby up and get ready to throw it on the floor.
Why do we need to hear another one?
Because it didn't sound like a baby hitting a floor.
So you now know what a baby hitting the floor sounds like?
Maybe I do, Jeff.
Maybe I do.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go.
It's Jordan, Jesse, go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Randy Sklar, middle-aged detective.
Jason Sklar, guy.
Okay, no, I'll take it.
Sure.
Who am I?
You know what I mean?
Randy Sklar, Hanson Camp aficionado.
I have been watching the...
The Hanson Camp Killer.
Oh, that'd be a good movie.
The Hanson Camp Killer?
Yeah.
Oh, no, I can't go to Hanson Camp this summer. You know who's on the loose? The Hanson Camp Killer. Oh, that'd be a good movie. The Hanson Camp Killer? Yeah. Oh, no. I can't go to Hanson Camp this summer.
You know who's on the loose?
The Hanson Camp Killer.
No, actually Jason from Five Nights at Freddy's.
He's there.
He just wants to get a band together.
But then the Hanson Camp Killer is also on the loose.
And he kills Jason.
America's national treasure.
Okay, here we go.
I've lately been watching.
Okay, here we go.
I've lately been watching...
I got distracted because I was trying to think so hard of Carole King's name.
Yeah.
Because I wanted to say something about in the Hanson Camp Killer movie,
you finally get to see Carole King's boobs.
And then it turns out it's Alan King's boobs.
An old comedian.
And it's Alan King singing, It's too An old comedian. And it's Alan King singing,
It's Too Late, Baby, Now It's Too Late.
And I could not come up with the Carol part of that,
Carol King.
I just got so wrapped up in it that I forgot that I'm supposed to host the program.
Didn't Carol King,
didn't she record tapestry
like three houses up from where you live?
I live on the street where she recorded tapestry.
And I was a little upset
that there wasn't a tapestry hanging outside. There should be. It's a tie- she recorded tapestry. And I was a little upset that there wasn't a tapestry hanging outside.
There should be.
A tie-dye tapestry.
Just to signify that that's where we made this thing.
A bronze representation of a tapestry.
Of like a crappy tapestry.
A crappistry.
You can learn a lot.
If the tapestry's horse has one leg up,
that means it died in battle.
That's right.
If the tapestry's one leg down,
it means it died in battle. That's right. If the tabasco is one leg down, it means it died peeing.
Yeah.
I've been watching a lot of the David Letterman program lately.
I'm on record as saying that David Letterman is probably, not certainly, but probably the best person.
And it's been very enjoyable for me.
I love the Davidid letterman show i like it
when he's just he's been doing a lot of desk pieces that aren't anything uh and i love that
sure yes i love the idea of david letterman doing literally five ten minutes of his national uh
television program uh it's just him rambling about something love it and it's the best part of the
show every single time that's why he's amazing him rambling about something. Love it. And it's the best part of the show every single time.
That's why he's amazing.
Him rambling about Butler
was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.
Absolutely.
And then Paul will say something weird
that's half a joke, half not a joke.
I love it every time he does that.
Every time.
Classic.
He's a genius improviser, by the way.
He's amazing.
Amazing.
He's an amazing dude.
But okay, so I've been watching a lot of the David Letterman show and I can't get enough of David Letterman. He's a genius improviser, by the way. He's amazing. Amazing. He's an amazing dude.
But okay, so I've been watching a lot of the David Letterman show, and I can't get enough of David Letterman.
And recently, I watched an episode with Luke Wilson on it.
And I feel like... What's Luke Wilson promoting?
AT&T.
Yeah.
Commercials.
He's in the hit film Death at a Funeral.
Oh, okay.
Death at a Funeral, which I almost want to go see.
Really?
I haven't read any reviews of it, and I'm going to guess
that maybe it's bad.
Yeah, I read. It's got a 40%
on the old Rotten Tomatoes.
I can't bring myself...
There's very little that will get me
into the theater to see a bad movie.
I felt like I maybe
did really enjoy I Think I Love My Wife.
I really liked that.
Chris Rock, that was awesome.
And I know Chris Rock was deeply involved
in making this Death of a Funeral.
Anyway, Luke Wilson's in this movie.
Directed by Neil LaButte.
Yeah, also directed by Neil LaButte.
That made me think, I wonder if it would be good.
Not a great track record with movies,
the Neil LaButte, though.
They did want to name the movie in the company of corpses.
Yeah.
So I...
Wicker Man at a funeral.
Luke Wilson was on this thing.
And you know what he fucking was?
Fucking delightful.
That's what he was.
He was delightful.
I mean, is there an undelightful Wilson?
He was hilarious.
Yeah.
He was handsome, but not in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable,
like my wife is going to like him
more than she likes me.
And even if she does, fine.
Great.
You know what?
She has got good choice.
She's got good taste.
She's got great taste.
She's got good taste.
And that taste
also is reflected in you.
But here's the thing.
Probably hearing about her affair
with Luke Wilson
would be arousing to you.
Calling you...
You would be aroused by it.
Calling you the Luke Wilson
of your family
may be going a little too far. Right. Maybe overstepping the line. But she has recently switched over to AT&T. You would be aroused by it. Calling you the Luke Wilson of your family may be going a little too far.
Right, yeah.
Maybe overstepping the line.
But she has recently switched over to AT&T.
Let's be honest.
I'm more of an Andrew Wilson of my family.
Okay, good.
Let's be honest.
I'm more of a Carney Wilson of my family.
I need to lose a few.
So, but here's the thing.
I feel like with these AT&T commercials,
and frankly, a fair number of terrible movies
america is turning on luke wilson they shouldn't if you i'm gonna go one step further than that
randy i'm gonna say if you turn on luke wilson you're turning on me that's wow i stand with
and your wife do you think luke wilson would say the same thing about you
no absolutely not No Absolutely not
Luke Wilson's
Default position
Is to be turned
Against me
Right
If he turned
You turn him on
He is against you
So wait then
Do you have to be
Against yourself
You are against yourself
We all have a bit
Of self-loathing
We all have a little
Bit of self-loathing
I mean the only good
Part about it
Is that because I stand
With him I'm fucking
My wife
That's right
That's right.
That's right.
And that's where you should always be.
That's what you two share. Well, anyone who wants to hate on Luke Wilson, go back and watch Bottle Rocket and then go fuck yourself.
He's so good in that movie.
And he's great in a bunch of other movies.
He's great in that movie because he – and Randy's reading the Del Close book right now.
Funniest guy in the room.
And it's about being the straight man.
He let Owen Wilson be the funny man in that movie.
And then he still had to carry the weight.
It takes a lot to be a phenomenal straight man.
You think about some of the best straight people.
And they don't get any credit.
None.
None.
And he does it in a way that made him funny.
Look at Jason Bateman had to be on Arrested Development to get any credit for being an amazing straight man.
An amazing straight man.
I saw it on Silver Spoons.
I was like, you to Schroeder are like the straight man to you to Schroeder.
But yeah, I think Luke Wilson is one of these guys that has that, you know, his hit toto-miss ratio is pretty skewed in favor of miss.
I think we can all agree.
He's done his fair share of rom-coms, but, you know, so it goes.
I don't understand.
I'm against these people who will tell you that somebody sucks
because they've been in a bunch of bad movies.
Right.
Well, look, they're working.
I understand.
Is that a certain kind of celebrity though.
Is there –
No, let me say something.
Let me say that.
Like it is so hard to get anything made ever.
Sure.
Absolutely.
Ever.
So like if – here's what I will say.
most independent, most alternative person saw
that someone like
Patton Oswalt, who we all love, or someone
like a David Cross, or someone like that was able
to get into some movie or a couple
movies and things like that and do a couple funny things.
So they're in fucking Marmaduke. We'll be psyched
for them. You'll be like, hey, yeah, that's
awesome. Now you have enough money to
go do another project that you love.
Now you have the kind of money, you know,
David Cross, joke all you want about him being in the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.
But now he's got a chance to do a show on IFC and other stuff.
And so now you're going, oh, OK.
Now he's got the room, the leeway to make great decisions like this and make something like this.
God bless it.
Randy and I were in Wild Hogs.
Wild fucking hogs.
Why were we in that movie?
Because we got a job.
We had an audition.
We booked it.
We got a job.
It actually wound up
being really fun.
And we got to be funny.
We got to hang out
with Ray Liotta.
We got to meet
William H. Macy,
Marissa Tomei.
We got to spend time
with Stephen Tobolowsky
who's hilarious.
I bet the crafty was good.
Crafty was insane
because Travolta
brought his own chef
from home.
We met Travolta.
Tri-tip every day. Tri-tip every day.
Tri-tip every day.
It was a great experience.
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
You get a chance to see the way it's done.
MC Ganey.
Whatever.
You get a chance to see the way it's done.
So, I mean, look.
We are in no position to, you know.
Hey, guys.
I was in All About Steve.
You were?
Yeah.
Nice.
Sure.
Razzie award winning.
So, you know what?
I'm right here with you.
All About Steve. Fantastic. The truth is you go out there and you try to make, you know what I'm right here with you Fantastic
The truth is you go out there and you try to make
You know if you're a creator you keep trying to create
Stuff that you like and that you think is great
On all levels on all formats
And all media and then you take jobs
Because you get families and you have
Things you have to pay for in your life
Yeah you know sometimes I
Get a little showbiz
Grumpy someone's like,
no one wants to read my screenplay, or no
one wants to have a meeting with me. And then I
feel like I have to sit down and think to myself, I'm like, you know
what? Bob Odenkirk and
Karen Kilgariff totally don't have shows on
TV right now. So maybe let's get
them set up first, and then maybe somebody wants
to take a meeting with Johnny Podcast.
So yeah, so that is
kind of the thing, is that it is super hard to get something made.
Jordan, have we talked about the fact
that you changed your name to Johnny Podcast?
No, you know, honestly,
I did it while drunk and on mushrooms.
I can't believe you legally went into a government office
while being on mushrooms.
It was actually a SAG thing.
It wasn't technically a government office, it was the SAG office. It was already a Billy podcast,. It wasn't technically a government office.
It was the SAG office.
It was already a Billy podcast, which I wanted to be.
Right.
Johnny podcast.
It reminds me of Johnny Quest.
Remember that?
Yeah, sure.
Quest was in his name.
In his name.
In his name.
It really described him.
But seriously, I want to make it absolutely clear.
If anyone out there in the listening audience
is against Luke Wilson, they're against
you. They're against me. And granted, they
were probably already against me. They've been listening to this
podcast for quite some time. Thank you. You're an easy
foil for anyone out there. Yeah.
Do you guys have any other
untouchable celebrities? Wait a minute. You have
now in this podcast said that you
appreciate Hanson. Yeah. And that you like
you are not afraid to go out on the limb for things.
Well, that's the new Indy is to like things that are broader.
Try this on for size.
I'm ready.
I am.
I know that no one's going to be against me.
You know why?
In the past 10 days, I have saved not one, not two, but three doggies.
Oh, you're not going to get any flack from me.
I have saved three dogs in ten days.
Well, Michael Vick will be against you.
Certainly.
You will lose him.
Because he's also not a fan of Luke Wilson.
Michael Vick thinks he's saving the dogs from a life of boredom.
That's right.
By forcing them into arena fighting.
He's helping them get work.
I feel like an important part of my transformation from a young man into dad man is my...
Is the cardigan sweater.
Well, the cardigan sweater helps.
You kind of jumped over dad and went straight to grandpa.
It's pronounced dadman.
Is how emotionally connected i have become
to a dog on the side of the road i love it i can't i not enough is said about this my our
good friend eric friedman his wife katya is a huge huge proponent of helping save dogs and
helping find yeah she has a business so she like saves dogs helps people pick out dogs. It's a wonderful thing.
It's like they take these dogs in the shelters, and they look all mean and ugly and everything.
She goes into the shelters, puts like a feather boa around the dog, and takes the dog outside by a tree and tries to shoot a picture that actually makes the dog look cute so that online someone will want to adopt the dog.
I've been doing a lot of animal shelter browsing lately myself.
I've been doing a lot of animal shelter browsing lately myself.
And yeah, the photography around animal shelters is already always horrible.
It makes the animal look like it's haunted.
Haunted and angry.
It makes the animal look like it's trying on a dress at the dress barn.
Sure, yeah.
The lighting in there is terrible, people.
But anyway, I just wanted to talk about what a great guy I am.
You are a great guy.
You are.
You do help.
Thanks, guys.
Hey, you guys are great guys, too.
Thank you.
You guys, I would say you guys are the Luke Wilson of twin comedians.
Thanks.
Are we the Luke and Owen Wilson of, wait a minute.
A brother.
He's like, I wouldn't go that far.
You're more an Andrew and fourth Wilson.
Sure.
Is there another?
There's another Wilson.
I think there may be one more Wilson.
It's what we call a floating Wilson. It's like Cooper Manning. Did you another? There's another Wilson. I think there may be one more Wilson. It's what we call a floating Wilson.
It's like Cooper Manning.
Did you know that Wes Anderson at one point lived with the Wilsons?
Sure.
Sure.
That's amazing, right?
How do they swing that?
It makes sense.
Are those people fucking magic?
I think they were all wearing yachting outfits all the time.
They were listening to a lot of Vampire Weekend.
They were the entire time.
I have to admit, I know that a lot of people did not like the movie Life Aquatic with Steve Sisu.
I didn't watch it when it came out in the movie theater, but had some time.
This was after it had come out and saw it on cable.
And I just kind of fell in love with the universe that he created.
There was one tracking shot where Bill Murray kind of walks through the submarine and the world they created in the submarine,
all the shit that they had in there.
I was like, I love this.
It's almost like in The Sopranos,
Gandolfini's breathing was its own character.
Everything in the world that he created
was in fact its own character
and perhaps one of my favorite characters in any movie.
You know what I like about a Wes Anderson movie?
And I'm going to go ahead and stand up
for Wes Anderson here too. I mean, my favorite Wes Anderson movie? And I'm going to go ahead and stand up for Wes Anderson here, too.
I mean, my favorite Wes Anderson movie is Rushmore, just like everybody else is.
And I think the other ones probably aren't as good as Rushmore.
But I don't know.
OK.
Some people will say a bottle rocket or a tenenbaum, depending on how your tastes run.
I will say that my favorite thing about Wes Anderson is there are other people who make movies that are maybe that the criticism of them might be that they're too cute for their own good.
But what I like about a Wes Anderson movie is when something funny like a joke happens in a Wes Anderson movie, it's an actual joke that's funny.
Right.
Whereas in the other cute movies, it's just a cute thing right and i
would say this about him i totally agree i would go further i think it's so hard to having made
some things so hard to put your stamp of your voice on a piece of film or whatever it may be
but like through all of those movies while they're about different things you know if i were to just
throw up a wes anderson scene that didn't have like people that you recognize, you would know that that was a Wes Anderson scene.
By the way it's shot, by the time he spends with each person.
The coverage, the fonts, everything.
So much so that he could do an animated movie, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, and that had obviously Wes Anderson qualities to it.
And it was like a weird animation movie.
So I think it's really hard to get your voice to come out in that way.
And when it is something that's cool, you've got to give credit that it comes through on every single movie he does.
I found, like with Steve Zissou, which I found probably the least emotionally satisfying of his films,
And I found that as long as I was okay with the fact that I wasn't going to find it quite as emotionally satisfying as some of his other movies, I thought it was hilarious.
Fantastic. I thought it had a lot of great jokes in it.
Sure.
Great concept, too.
And also, I liked all the rest of the stuff about it.
Yes.
Except that it wasn't perfect.
It didn't, you know.
Grab you by the balls.
Exactly.
Well, that's the thing.
I feel like
people when they make stuff you kind of have to have some luck i mean woody allen says this a lot
in what what he talks about is like he sets out to do annie hall every time i mean really they try to
and annie hall if you remember was a different movie they the editor really sort of moved things
around played with the the timeline and then it became a brilliant movie.
Now, there were pieces of brilliance in it.
If that editor had worked on Curse of the Jade Scorpion.
Maybe.
There you go.
That's right.
But what I'm saying is that—
I didn't know that about Annie Hall.
Was it maybe not in his hands in the post-production process?
When it came to the editor, it was a different type of movie.
And then the editor sort of made some suggestions and moved some things around.
They reshot some stuff. and moved some things around.
They reshot some stuff.
They did some animated things and they said, well, let's make this about a guy sifting through the pieces of the past of the relationship. That editor was Brett Ratner.
Yeah, exactly.
And he was in love with Serena Williams.
He was six years old.
But I do think that it's like – you're kind of like – it is like getting lucky.
You hit on something.
It just works.
That also works with what you're creating.
The performances work.
Everything kind of has to align for a moment for something to be amazing and then also popular.
Yeah.
That's what I think.
I don't know.
We'll be back in just a second with more Jordan, Jesse, go.
It's Jordan, Jesse, go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Randy Sklar, Hanson Camp aficionado.
Jason Sklar, Hanson Camp enthusiast.
There's a difference there.
One person is a little more enthusiastic.
You're actually critical of Hanson Camp.
One is discerning.
Yeah, one is discerning.
I am not afraid to point out the fallacies of the camp.
Whereas I am
just really thrilled with their camp.
You're like a college religion teacher.
You're like a Bible as literature teacher.
I love the Hanson Camp, but it's a tough one.
I think you would say that a
night train swilling homeless man
is a wine enthusiast.
Sure.
Whereas a Frazier Crane type is a wine aficionado. Tom Likas is a wine aast. Yeah. Sure. But, uh, whereas a Frazier crane type is a wine aficionado.
Tom Likas is a wine aficionado.
Yeah,
sure.
And also a child molester.
And also a child molester.
So there you go.
Um,
okay.
So we have two important things that I feel like we need to talk about.
Um,
the first is something that came in the mail for me a couple of days ago.
Now I get one of the great joys of being a public radio host.
Is being able to afford your subscription to Hustler magazine.
We know.
We've heard about it.
Number one.
Specifically British Hustler.
That's right.
Which, again, it's all teeth.
He looks that magazine north and south.
Keep them pallid.
Keep them very milky white.
Nearly translucent is how I like it.
You literally want to be able to see internal organs.
Right.
The powder issue.
Like a shrimp.
Like a deep sea creature.
You look at a British hustler magazine and you're not saying,
look at the tits on that one.
You're like, look at the lungs.
That's right.
The lungs are not briny enough.
I'd like to devein her and then have my way with her.
Remarkably, some of them have natural chemical lights
attached to their foreheads.
For attracting krill.
Okay, so I love to get packages,
but there was this huge package on my doorstep the other day,
and I had no idea what it was going to be.
And that is unusual, obviously. When I get packages that I don't know what it was going to be. That is unusual.
Obviously. When I get packages
that I don't know what it's going to be,
it's usually a book that I don't want.
Perfect. A pair of socks.
Well, it's not a pair of socks.
No sock people are trying to
get their sock people placed
on The Sound of Young America.
Okay, got it. As important
as public radio is to the sock industry,
they're mostly targeted.
Wait, wait, don't tell me.
The two go hand in foot.
No.
Oh, God.
Jesus.
You know, at the end of the day,
they can't all be as funny as that Camp Hanson crack earlier.
That was a go to break.
That was a go to break.
Or no, it wasn't.
This guy who I will
say is named Aaron
G.
Sent me this package.
His name on our forum is
Suffer Not
Injustice, which I can only
presume is an allusion to something I'm not aware of.
Or maybe it's just because the first
thing he signed up for, first message thing he signed up for first message board,
he signed up for when he was 15 was a Nader message board.
And then he's like,
well,
I want to keep using the same one.
And so I don't have to remember.
Logistically.
Well,
no,
he wanted suffering justice,
but that was taken.
Suffer not.
He had to switch it up.
He really did.
Just to get it,
just to get a screen name.
He really wanted to suffer injustice.
Right. But then he was like, and so now he has to explain it to get it just to get a screen name. He really wanted to suffer injustice. Right.
But then he was like, so now he has to explain it to a lot of people.
It's like, I really do believe that we should suffer.
Wasn't available.
I mean, he started with suffer with justice for suffragettes.
Yes.
That that was before there were message boards.
So he had to hold on to it for a while.
Sure.
He had written on a sandwich board.
Yeah.
The time it was on a sandwich board.
Right.
So I opened this package, and I find the contents.
You know, once in a while, our listeners are kind enough to send us something wild, just wild in the mail.
Once in a while, we'll get a painting that somebody made.
And it's always really fun and charming to
get something like that. Our listeners have
a club where they occasionally send each other
fun mystery care packages. It's sort of like a ring of people who send
each other. They just fill it with different candy and action figures or whatever.
Kind of like a nice Taliban.
Yeah, exactly.
That's really how I think of the entire MaximumFun.org organization.
It's sort of like a friendly version of the Taliban.
Again, like the Taliban,
we don't believe in music in public performance.
Fine.
And like the Taliban, many of your listeners are hiding in caves.
But this is, without a doubt,
the most remarkable,
amazing thing that I have ever received in the mail.
We know British hustler.
I'm going to give you guys,
you Sklar brothers,
a little background.
I'm a big fan of a television program called the antiques roadshow.
Sure.
It's almost certainly my favorite television program.
Well, my second favorite after 30 Rock.
But I love to watch it every week.
Is it the drama of how much everything is going to be worth?
Oh, I love antiques and collectibles.
Sure.
I love them.
But that moment.
But that moment.
Oh, it's very exciting.
I love it because there's not the reaction.
You know, like when someone literally is like, you found this in your attic and it's worth like $75,000.
Inveritably, every time the person is like, all right.
It's like so low key.
I'm like, are you kidding me?
Sometimes they will tell someone that it's worth $300 and they'll be fucking blown away.
They'll be psyched.
So excited.
Are you kidding me?
$300?
What?
$300.
$300?
What?
$300.
On the Antiques Roadshow, there was a segment featuring a creature that I call a power pig that I've named Chompers.
This was a German pull toy from the early 20th century.
Which, again, sounds like something bizarrely sexual.
Right.
And it was a children's toy.
It was a toy pig.
And one of its most remarkable features, besides the fact that it was just wonderful and charming and delightful,
was that when you pulled it, its mouth opened and closed, and it made an oink-like sound.
Just like Stephen Hawking.
This sound was something like... Something like that. Sounded sounded like a sheep even though it's a pig
um and i've just fell in love with chompers the power pig and i announced it was valued about
if i recall correctly about two thousand dollars wow um because the goats were very popular but
pigs are much more rare. And it also had...
Why the Jews don't eat them.
It had distinctive teeth, which is how it got the name Chompers.
There are those who have argued that it's like a terrifying nightmare, but I completely
disagree.
I think it's charming and delightful.
That is the teeth of Jewish babies, right?
We're establishing that.
Right.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good, good, good.
I thought that went without saying.
He looks like my English bulldog, Virgil.
I mean, he's genius. So it's a wonderful pig.
And a lot of people said we should take up a collection to buy Jesse Chompers.
Unbelievable.
Now, here's the thing.
I would start crying.
Here's the catch here.
I was incredibly touched by that.
Of course.
But the difference between the appraisal morning show on FX, TV made fresh daily, and the Antiques Roadshow is that the items on the Antiques Roadshow are not actually for sale.
They're evaluating their value were they to be for sale.
Right.
But you can't just go to antiquesroadshow.org and buy it for $2,000.
That's right.
You'd have to track down the person, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
That's just unworkable.
That's right.
You'd have to track down the person, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
That's just unworkable.
Aaron G., a.k.a. Suffernot Injustice, decided to take things into his own hand.
He built what may be the most amazing verisimilitudinous recreation of Chompers the Power Pig.
This Chompers is named Chompers 2.
Electric Boogaloo.
It is life-size.
He's rolling to save the rec center.
Every detail on this thing is perfect.
It's unbelievable. It's got teeth.
He designed an instruction manual for it.
It has a USB for voicing.
I cannot overemphasize how spectacular USB for voicing. He is, it is,
I cannot overemphasize
how spectacular
of a recreation
of Chompers the Power Pig
Chompers 2 is.
Down to the angle
of his teeth.
It's so close
that the Jew hunter
from Inglourious Bastards
would never be able
to pick it out.
Yeah.
I love it.
I can't,
this guy is a genius.
I can't believe
he spent this much time on it. It's unbelievable. He made it, I think't. This guy is a genius. I can't believe he spent this much time on it.
It's unbelievable.
He made it.
I think he had some help and encouragement from other people on the Maximum Fund boards.
Amazing.
But he is a gifted modeler, and he claims a terrible mechanical engineer, but he's certainly
a better mechanical engineer than I.
Will ever be.
And it is a truly spectacular Chompers.
Wow.
My,
my thanks to Aaron.
It's really,
really amazing. And I've been thinking about what,
what I should do with this,
with chompers.
And what I'm thinking is we have the maximum fund drive is coming up in
May.
Sure.
I'm going to try chompers into the maximum fund drive.
I don't know.
You can't,
you can't have a,
you can't have a sweepstakes, a sweepstakes. You are too complicated, too many legal, but we're going to try Chompers into the maximum fun drive. No way. I don't know. You can't have a sweepstakes.
A sweepstakes are too complicated, too many legal.
But I'm going to find some way, since this is the 10th anniversary of this,
this is such a huge fun drive.
We're doing the big monster marathon show on May 28th.
I'm going to figure out a way to tie Chompers 2 into this.
I feel like it's too amazing for me to –
And then someone can have this.
Chompers 2 should be like the Stanley Cup.
It should travel to like everyone's house.
You should drink out of him.
Everyone's house.
And they need to take pictures with them and Chompers, and it needs to go around, and then that becomes its own mess.
Which, by the way, there was like a player last year who let their like two-year-old kid poop in the Stanley Cup.
Like people drink out of that thing.
There was like – I don't know.
Well, like sat the kid on top of it.
Let the kid poop, which –
I'll be honest with you.
I'm now potty training my second kid.
I did it once.
It's like –
And if you had had a Stanley Cup on hand –
No, that's a dangerous precedent.
No, it's a dangerous precedent because it gets to a point where the kid will only poop in a certain thing.
And so what are you going to do if you don't win the Stanley Cup next year?
You're calling Venus Williams going, get the Wimbledon plate over here.
My kid's got to drop a deuce.
At least a Brene Brith award.
At the very least.
At the very, very least.
A Razzie.
I really could not thank Aaron G. more.
And we're going to feature.
Chompers 2 will certainly be featured in our marathon show on May 28th.
This is going to be, I mean, this is something special.
This is the most special thing that anyone has ever created for us here on Jordan Jesse Go.
So our sincere and heartfelt thanks to Aaron and all the folks who supported him through this.
I know there was a lot of Max Funsters involved in keeping this project moving forward.
So our sincere thanks.
And speaking of sincere thanks, Jordan, we had this thing going on on our show called the Hat Contest.
Here's what it is.
It's a contest involving – there are multiple ways to win this contest.
The primary way to win this contest is
that you put the most hats on your head.
I love it.
But there's other ways to win this contest.
This is, by the way, how Burning Man got started.
It is, literally.
Sure.
Next year, it's going to be Sex and Lizard Masks.
That's the next contest we're having.
That's fine with me.
I'm a poetry slant.
Jordan has
been kind enough
to take the time
to review all the many
entries that we've gotten.
We've gotten hundreds
of entries to the hat contest
with different pictures
of people
with different kinds of hats,
different combinations of hats,
different piles of hats.
I don't know if we,
I had hoped that someone
would recreate the book
Caps for Sale.
I don't know if anyone has.
It might be hard to get that many monkeys.
Sure.
But, hell, Aaron built a Chompers, so...
Anything is possible.
Anything is possible.
If you believe in dreams, and Hanson are on your side.
That's right, sure.
Jordan, you were the official adjudicator of the hat contest.
How many total winners are we about to announce?
We have one, two, three, four, five.
We have six.
Six winners.
Six winners.
And I want to say that
each of these winners
will receive one item
of their choice
from the Max Fun Store.
Wow.
If I had a hat for each winner,
I'd wear it on my head right now.
Yeah, absolutely.
Six hats?
Are you crazy?
What do we got in the Max Fun Store?
We got rocket ship sweatshirts.
We got rocket ship polo shirts. We got Rocket Chip polo shirts.
We got two different Jordan Jesse Go shirts.
We got a Sound of Young America shirt.
We got the Monsters of Podcasting poster.
We got the Coil and Sharp box set.
I will literally, this is from my own pocket,
will buy you any one item, these winners,
any one item from the Max Fund store.
So what do we got, Jordan?
So, winner number one, Andrew Aja for his 1984 cap from the Olympics that says,
Fuck Russia on the bill.
That wins the Jingoism Award.
That's right.
Still relevant.
Most jingoistic hat.
Yes.
If you hold on to that thing, it comes back around.
Most jingoistic hat. If you hold on to that thing, it comes back around.
Alicia Craven, who is a tutor at the 826 in Seattle.
That's a place for writing tutoring for kids.
She put a bunch of hats on the kids while they were reading.
So she wins the Child Endangerment Award.
Congratulations, Alicia
Congratulations
It's basically saying fuck Russia to the kids
Sure
Vivi Riedler made a hat
Why isn't she a reading teacher?
Yeah, right
She's the Riedler
I should mention, too, for the benefit of the Squire Brothers
We did have two previous winners
Both of whom managed to find
1989 National League Champion San Francisco Giants hats brothers we did have two previous winners both of whom uh managed to find a 1989 national league
champion san francisco giants hats uh one of them won an autographed card from rick big daddy
russell nice one of them won from don the caveman robinson i love it don robinson fantastic go ahead
if i was friends with reidler i'd be like all day long reidle me this i believe she's swedish
um she made a hat it's more of a headpiece uh here it is um it is a the ghost from pac-man
a blue ghost so after pac-man has had a power bill yeah sure or sue or client uh uh the it's like a hood that goes over the face that's the ghost and then on the
top of the head uh pac-man is eating the ghost uh uh so and there are two eyes kind of cut in the
hood um for the wearer wow uh this and that wins the you Guys Fuckin' This, Don't You Award.
That's the award given to the best hat used for fucking.
I love it.
Also given to the Ku Klux Klan last year.
Right.
Patrick Stagman rubber banded a note card to his head and took a picture.
Lo-fi. That wins the whatever award and took a picture. Lo-fi.
That wins the whatever award.
Lo-fi. Sure, there you go.
It wins the Guided by Voices award.
The White Stripes.
The Black Keys award. The Moldy Peaches award.
These are all examples.
More current? Harlem.
Nice.
I like them.
So now we're getting into the most hats category.
Okay, most hats category.
Nick Pawlik did 51 hats.
Holy shit.
What?
And made a video, a delightful video of it,
where the hats come off in reverse order,
and there's a nice ragtime song playing.
He initially entered with 30-something he didn't even he initially entered
with 30 something
yes
and then was forced
to up his game
to 51
step your game up
step your game up
and though the
evidence is less
easy
to confirm
I think he has been
beaten though
by Patrick Stagman
oh excuse me
Patrick Stagman
is the note card guy
he has been beaten by Ezra Gumpel Jones with 60.
Is Gumpel Jones a hyphenated last name?
It is hyphenated.
He is hyphenated.
The weirdest name combined with the most ordinary name.
We've come to the point at which kids are,
now we've got kids of hyphenated parents
that are now winning hat contests.
What has this world come to?
Gumpel Jones.
This is truly, truly spectacular.
Gumball Jones is my favorite wizard
from Harry Potter.
Jordan, are you going to post these up
in the hat contest?
Yes, these will all be online for viewings.
This is just spectacular.
All those folks,
what I would ask is that you email me
and tell me, give me your address
and what item from the Max Funds store you would like,
and I will have it sent to you from our friends at Topatico.
Man, so you – okay.
Before we go, you guys are headed back out, right?
Yeah, at the end of this month, we'll be in San Francisco.
Actually, in – here's what we got.
We got Denver on the 31st.
Are you doing Comedians of Chelsea?
Comedians of Chelsea.
And then with Santa Rosa.
With Jim Kirkman.
And then Santa Rosa on the 31st.
And then we've got...
Are you doing like a Santa Rosa Civic Auditorium?
Yes, we are.
I don't know, whatever that is.
Wells Fargo Center or something like that.
And then we're going to be in New York over the summer and comics.
And follow us on Twitter, twitter.com slash Sklar Brothers.
We write a lot of jokes.
We have a lot of real jokes.
We have a lot of content.
You guys have a contentful Twitter feed.
We do, exactly.
Not just linked to a blog.
No, no.
You're not linked to a blog.
We're not linked to a blog.
It's all in 140 characters.
And we do try and,
our goal is to try and get like 100,000 followers
by the end of the year,
which is a huge goal,
but like we're at 31,000 right now.
I think you can do it.
Yeah, maybe.
I want to mention one more time.
I think I alluded to this,
but the Maximum Fun Drive is coming up starting May 13th,
two weeks of you guys supporting our operation here.
And to celebrate the Maximum Fun Drive,
which is in itself celebrating 10 years of The Sound of Young America, Jordan, where 10 years ago we started on KZSC in Santa Cruz.
Jordan and I are doing a Jordan Jesse Go live from Meltdown Comics on Sunset Boulevard right here in Los Angeles to the internet to all the people, all the ships the people, you know, all the ships at sea,
49 countries and all the ships at sea, May 28th from 4 p.m. to midnight.
We're going to do eight straight hours of Jordan, Jesse, go.
Given that I'm already sort of faint with hunger and a little bit confused at the end of this, you know,
hour and 20 minutes of programming
that we just did.
Just wait.
Oh, just wait until we get into hour six, hour seven.
We're going to have a lot of our favorite.
By hour three, the racial slurs start coming.
Get food from Chiba.
Get food from Chiba across the street.
Yeah, Chiba's good.
We're going to have a—
I got that expensive garlic bread.
Oh, they do.
We're going to have a real blast.
We'll be announcing all the ticket details and stuff if you want to come in person,
but you'll be able to watch on the internet,
and we'll have lots of our favorite people.
We haven't started booking them.
Nobody knows what their schedule is like two months in advance.
But we'll have lots of our favorite people.
If you guys are in town, of course, we would love to have you.
Of course, we'll be there.
Boom.
It's going to be a lot of fun.
And it's on the MaximumFun.org.
And I think that's all we've got to say this week, right?
Yeah, right.
I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck's wrong with my CD player that we can't listen to calls.
I have no idea.
And I've been working so hard on MaxFunCon.
I haven't had time to put it through its real diagnostic paces.
But if you have a call for us, 206-984-4FUN, 206-984-4FUN 206-984-4FUN
we are saving up the great calls for when we
get this fucking thing working again
in the meantime we'll see you at MaximumFun.org
and of course we want you to
go online and check out our buddy Stop Podcasting
Yourself just search for
Stop Podcasting Yourself in your
iTunes and I say give them a listen
if you're ever going to give them a listen
you want to give them a listen to this one that
Jordan and Chris Fairbanks are on because that's
the most beloved member of Jordan Jesse
Go, Jordan.
Thanks for not saying Chris Fairbanks.
And the most beloved guest of Jordan Jesse Go
Chris Fairbanks.
So there you go.
So Twitter to the Sklar Brothers
we'll see you on May 28th and we'll be back
next week with more of Jordan, Jesse, go.
Bye.