Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 132: Salute Your Shorts with Nick Adams
Episode Date: May 13, 2010Nick Adams joins Jesse and Jordan to discuss summer camp and much much more. ...
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Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free.
Unto the locks and throw away the keys, and take off your shoes and socks and run you.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective.
And this is...
Jordan, Jesse, go!
Icicles, tricycles, ice cream, candy, lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks,
Solomon, friendly, go.
We've launched the 2010 Max Fun Drive with talk of summer camp and much, much more.
Let's go.
It's Jordan, Jesse, go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
With us, a very special guest from the great city of Los Angeles, California.
Wow, what a get.
Mr. Nick Adams. Welcome back to the show, Nick.
Nick Repeat Adams.
Nick Repeat Adams.
Are you Nick Hattrick Adams at this point?
I don't know. I think I might be beyond Hattrick.
This might be number four for Nick Adams.
He's an old favorite.
Jordan, it's pledge drive time.
That means you go back to the well for the old favorites.
See if you can squeeze a little more blood from the stone.
Yeah, absolutely.
I don't see any tote bags lying around, Tony.
So you are our This American Life episode about camp.
Because we will constantly roll you out.
I don't have any tragic stories about camp though
Is that what they do on This American Life camp?
There's this one episode of This American Life
About kids at summer camp
And whenever a public radio station has a pledge drive
I feel like that's the episode they throw on
The only summer camp I ever went to was one summer
I went to a Bible camp
Because I was that desperate to do something During the summer So I actually went to a Bible camp because I was that desperate to do something during the summer.
So I actually went to a youth Bible camp. Were your parents advocates of Bible camp?
My mother was... Or the Bible. I was raised in a big Southern Baptist church, so my family
advocated anything Jesus-y. Okay, but you were resistant. No, I wasn't resistant. It was just
something to do, honestly. You know, the summer camp that I went to was actually also a religious summer camp.
I had forgotten about that. It was an Episcopalian summer camp.
How do you forget about going to Bible camp?
Well, it wasn't Bible camp.
It wasn't like we spent the whole time studying the Bible, but we did have to go to church on Sunday.
Well, that's just called life for most people.
It's just normal. For me, that was just my normal week.
I'm from San Francisco, Nick.
They don't have God in San Francisco?
Yeah, if you're, like, in San Francisco, it's big news if you're not, like, worshiping Cthulhu or something.
San Francisco does have the church that worships through the John Coltrane Church.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's also an Episcopalian church.
Is it really? The church that I went to as a teenager would do
crossover church events with the John Coltrane Church. Nice.
So Nick and Jesse, did either of you have Bible Camp romances?
Those fleeting summer Bible Camp romances.
Oh, that's an interesting question. I think
I was pretty repellent to girls at the time.
I don't know if I was repellent.
Girls were definitely resistant.
I wasn't quite repellent.
I think there was a few crushes, but there was absolutely no real activity.
There was a dance at my camp.
Was there a dance at your camp?
There wasn't an official dance, but there was a lot of dancing because it was still the 80s and we were young.
We were black youths.
It was just ecstatic dance.
There was just spontaneous dancing taking place.
Sure.
I'm wondering, this is something I'm curious
about in relation to Bible camp
and sexuality.
Obviously, you're
at camp. There's hormones.
You're away from your parents.
Obviously, it seems like the urge to make out is there.
But does it being a Bible camp negate that or does it make it somehow more enticing?
I'm going to throw something in here for color.
Sure.
My friend in high school, Brady Gill, who may actually listen to this show.
One time he complained about how I'm always talking about this on my Facebook page.
But Brady Gill, this guy I knew in high school.
He's got to be a NASCAR driver or a professional baseball player
with a name like Brady Gill.
Little Jew.
Really?
Yeah, Little Jew.
I guess I didn't know you had a Facebook page.
Does that mean he can't be a NASCAR driver or a baseball player?
He's a Little Jew?
Well, there's not a lot of Little Jew ballplayers,
I'll tell you that much right now.
There's some Big Jew ballplayers. There's some Big Jew ballplayers there's not a lot of little Jew ball players, I'll tell you that much right now. There's some big Jew ball players.
There's some big Jew ball players. If you want to talk about a Sean Green, that's a guy who's going
6'3", 6'4". This is a big man.
A Sandy Koufax.
I didn't know you have a personal Facebook page.
I guess I didn't know that about you. Yeah, Jordan Jesse
also has a Facebook page. Oh, wow. I thought we were
cohorts and
not being on Facebook. No, I have a Facebook
page.
I try and work to promote the shows that I make.
No, it's a wise move.
I never got into that.
I never really got into that whole aspect of the business.
I'll be friends with anyone on Facebook.
At one point, my wife and I spent some time on it and figured out how to make a list of people that you actually know
and have it only show the people that you actually know,
which was great for me
because I literally have, you know,
3,000 or 4,000 Facebook friends
just because I just accept anyone who asks.
And so I had this list for a while,
but then when they updated Facebook
like a month ago or two months ago,
it stopped working. They just eliminated that part of what that i had gone through like i
literally had to go through 3 000 names and click on the people who i actually wanted to hear what
they had to say and at this point it just gives me a random selection of people it doesn't mean
everyone the update yeah i have no idea what it gives me now it gives me just crazy nonsense but
yes i am on facebook. And Brady Gill.
Back to the sexy camp story.
When we were like, he was maybe, he was a year or two younger than me.
Went to my school.
Maybe I was 17, he was 15, or I was 16, he was 15, something like that.
For some reason, he stayed over at my house.
Like maybe we had a late rehearsal or something like that.
And Brady Gill, just irrepressible on the subject of his Jew camp.
It was called Camp Tawanga.
You could not get Brady Gill to stop talking about Camp Tawanga.
It was charming.
I mean, I'm not putting Brady Gill down.
It was adorable.
I still remember it to this day.
But he would talk about making out and being naked.
These were like, from his description, that's the only two things that went down at Camp Tawanga.
And I can tell you.
Making out and random nudity.
Yeah.
Did they happen separately?
Were you clothed?
You were clothed while you were making out.
I'm not so sure.
I think this was some kind of crazy bacchanal.
And I cannot relate because the Episcopalian camp that I went to, St. Dorothy's Rest, as far as I know, there was zero nudity.
Now, it could be because Brady Gill was talking about camp stuff he had been doing when he was 14 and 15.
And I was talking about camp stuff that I had done when I was 8 and 9.
You don't want to be doing too much naked stuff when you're 8 and 9.
No, it's not appropriate.
No, it's not appropriate.
But still, it led me to believe that maybe there's a secret side to camps that I wasn't privy to as an eight-year-old.
I don't know how the Jews do it, but the Christians didn't roll like that.
No nudity?
Not at the camp that I went to.
Not even any, and there was no slow dancing to we've come to the end of our road or whatever?
I don't think there was any fun, really, at that camp.
It was a fun, free experience.
Not that I remember.
It was an all-for-one free zone.
I'm older than you, so it was more like ready for the world and stuff like that.
Sure.
The Jews are a sexy people.
They are.
There's no doubt about that.
Do you think that you're average?
They have a cultural reputation for sexuality and sensuality.
A young Barbra Streisand doesn't get much hotter than that.
Hey, absolutely.
I saw a book in a book catalog today or yesterday afternoon. I'm flipping through the book catalog.
It's the list of books that are going to come out in the fall.
Barbra Streisand is coming out with a book that costs $75.
What the?
It's called My Passion for Design.
And it's just pictures of her houses.
She's charging people to look at pictures of her houses at this point.
I mean, I don't begrudge anyone a vanity project,
because if you make it and you decide you want to write a children's book,
hey, knock yourself out.
Hasn't Barbara Streisand's life Been a vanity project
For well nigh on
20 years at this point
I don't think anything
She's done
Post what
The Owl and the Pussycat
Has been
You know like
An actual project
It's like a
A story about how she
Has overcome her stage fright
You've been a performer
For 40 years
And you're still talking
About your stage fright
Yeah
Shut up Babs
You know I think she probably
Man you guys know a lot about Barbra Streisand.
She probably had a...
I can't contribute to this conversation at all.
She probably had a traumatic sexual experience
at summer camp.
But not if she went to one of these Jewish summer camps.
She was probably just partying her...
She was probably having...
Took us off.
When you go to regular...
That's a Jew butt.
When you go to Bible camp,
is it all Bible all day?
I remember there being a fair amount...
It was like, you know, you get up in the morning and you have breakfast
and then there was some sort of Bible study and then you have like a break.
It was pretty much all Bible all day.
And the funny thing is I never believed in any of that stuff.
I don't know why I was even there.
You just needed something to get you out of the house.
I had to get out of the house, man.
I can understand that completely.
I remember
a lot of tie-dye.
I remember it was very difficult to get into archery
class. You had to run really fast to
the sign-up table.
You went to one of those real...
We didn't have any of that stuff. We didn't have
the rope line. We didn't have horseback riding.
It wasn't like Bug Juice
On the Disney Channel
Have you ever seen that show?
No but I was gonna ask you
Actually specifically
If they had Bug Juice
At your camp
No
We didn't have any of the
It was just dusty
Can we talk about this
Through the lens of
Salute Your Shorts
I feel
I don't really understand
Bug Juice
But I feel like
If you can bring
Salute Your Shorts
I don't think Bug Juice
Is on DVD
But you have to try to
Find it online or something.
There was a show, I think it was...
He probably doesn't.
Disney or Nickelodeon, where someone...
I can imagine the pitch meeting.
This guy goes into the offices, and he's like,
look, it's the real world set at a summer camp.
And then they just write him a huge check.
Oh, so it's not a...
It was a reality show.
Oh, wow.
Set at a really nice summer camp.
Oh.
And so you had all the...
Who were the main characters?
The counselors? No, it was about... I mean, the counselors were in it, And so you had all the stories. Who were the main characters? The counselors?
No, it was about, I mean, the counselors were in it, but it was mostly about the kids.
It was literally just like the real world, but they followed a certain group of kids at the camp.
It was the most addictive show I've ever seen in my life.
I had a counselor that really impressed me by eating skin.
That was his thing.
His own skin?
Yours or?
Anybody's.
You could just hand it to him and he'd eat it.
Just if he had a popped blister or something?
Yep.
Or, you know, it's summer camp, so there's a lot of people peeling.
Sure.
Oh, okay.
So this is like sunburn skin.
Yeah.
He'll eat it.
And that was really impressive to me as a nine-year-old or however old.
Everyone thought it was amazing.
We gave him a big round of applause every time he did it.
I guess he must have been like 14.
Sounds right.
Yeah.
Right?
I mean, it's amazing.
Or 35.
Yeah.
You know, I got invited to, I only went to my summer camp for two years.
I was not a habitué of summer camp.
But I got invited to be a counselor at my summer camp, the summer camp I went to when I was 19 one summer.
And it's kind of a good job because it's pleasant, you know, and you get paid, but you don't have to pay for anything.
So at the end of the summer, you have, you know, $3,000 or $4,000 or whatever, which to an 18-year-old is a fair chunk of change.
And was it just like, was being a summer camp counselor what I imagined it being?
Just tons of hooking up
and smoking pot?
Well, that's what I figured.
But the thing is, you know,
I was with Teresa at the time
and she was going to college
in New York.
So I turned down the gig
because I was like,
well, you know,
I'm not going to be
at a weird summer camp
during the only time
I can see my girlfriend.
It was a tough call
because the idea of going
to being a summer camp counselor and doing summer camp counselorship was very appealing to me. It was a tough call Because the idea of going to
Being a summer camp counselor
And doing summer camp counselorship
Was very appealing to me
Yeah, the wet hot American summer
Sure, yeah, exactly
That was exactly what I wanted
Naughty boathouse antics
Jordan, you never went to summer camp?
No, I never went to summer camp
Ever go to day camp?
I did go to a day camp
Day camp's the worst, man
Yeah, I remember it sucking, and I remember the last...
God, the last...
I stopped going.
I can't remember if I stopped going or I was asked to not come anymore.
One of the two where they had a thing where you could drive ATVs around a track.
What?
But only if you had driven an ATV before.
Right.
And they asked me if I had, and I said yes.
What the fuck are you supposed to say?
I know.
You don't ask a child.
Do you have ATV experience?
Yeah.
Youth.
It seems like there should be a certificate or something that they put in.
It was an honor system atv situation
you were thinking of the hundreds of hours you had then logged on rc pro m2 sure i figured it
was comparable right uh you got to upgrade to the knobby tires yeah i figured if i drive over if i
drove over an arrow i would get a rocket sure um and yeah I, I mean, just comically immediately crashed it.
And then.
Where was this?
This was in Orange County.
Yeah.
In Irvine, specifically.
It used to be all orange groves.
At the time, it was very rural.
This is mid to late 80s.
Yeah, no, I mean, my parents were way before it was developed.
Yeah, I mean, now, you know, it's the mega malls and the McMansions.
But before it was rural living. It was rural living.
Slavery was legal. Up until
like, what, 88, 89? Right. I think they
got rid of it in Orange County. Yeah, they got rid of it in the
No, I think it was right around the time Prop 187
passed. In fact, I believe that
Prop 187 was a response
to the criminalization
of slavery. I just got something in
the mail two days ago about a proposition,
and I couldn't even, like the Californian in me,
I wouldn't even allow myself to read it yet.
It's too early in the year to deal with propositions.
I feel like somehow the proposition thing has gotten completely out of control.
I think there's a proposition this year.
Here in California, we have a form of
direct democracy where if you can get like 250,000 people to sign a petition or something like that,
you can put anything on the ballot. And often things will pass that have like serious fundamental
flaws, like, you know, like they'll be somehow unconstitutional or there'll be a whole part
that's not explained at all um or one particular group will be denied certain rights because of
their sexual preferences right yeah or silly stuff like that nation of origin or the fact
that they're choosing to hang out in a group with other people that look like them yeah um so it's
it's uh it's getting a little out of control,
but I feel like maybe we could use that.
I mean, for one thing, I know Nick is probably excited about,
I think there's a legalizing marijuana one on the bill.
I know that's basically the single issue closest to Nick's heart in the world.
Understatement of the year.
I'm excited about that, Thorne.
Nick is to that as like, you know,
Noam Chomsky is to foreign interventionist wow
wow you just made me really really excited he's got 11 out of 10 on this um now i i don't i guess
i don't know about this is this is this full smoke and a joint full legalization full legalization
for adults do they have they done any have they done any polling on it? Is it going to work? I think depending on the polls that I've seen referenced anywhere from a majority or a plurality support legalization.
And the thing that's interesting about that is that there's never been a full open discussion.
So the average American citizen has no idea what the real world ramifications of marijuana versus alcohol, tobacco, pharmaceutical drugs, etc.
And thank God we finally got a chance to put the leaders of normal out there in front of the cameras
and just show off what, you know, sharp tacks.
They're really the kind of people that you would want to represent your cause.
Just generally speaking, I would say that the leading advocates for marijuana legalization
are, as someone personally who supports marijuana legalization, definitely the kind of voices that I want out front on that issue.
No, but actually, I mean, there's other organizations, you know, like the Marijuana Policy Project, where, you know, people like that, where, I mean, they've had lobbyists working in D.C. for years.
Where they seem less likely to have gray ponytails.
They look like just normal guys.
And I think, I mean, I agree with you.
And when you say they look like just normal guys, they don't look like guys from normal.
Right.
They do have rain sticks, though.
Like, at all times.
They do reek of sage and patchouli.
Sure.
I'm excited about it.
I'm excited about, you know, there's this California supervisor, Tom Amiano, San Francisco supervisor Tom Amiano, who's become a California assemblyman.
And he proposed a legalization bill about a year ago, I think, with the idea that it would be heavily taxed for the economic crisis or something like that.
It's our number one cash crop in the state of California.
He was on the sound of young America a couple years ago.
He is just a joy.
I did not care for him especially much as a San Francisco politician,
thought he was a little bit ineffectual, but he was a joy of a guy.
You could tell immediately why he kept getting uh elected he's a kind of a he's
kind of a he's very sharp funny and uh queenie and uh he always wears a like a purple stud earring
you know he's he's very he's very gay in a sort of like uh i'm 59 years old kind of way
um you'd think california would have more cool laws Yeah, and so I'm excited
At this point, when he's on the board of supervisors
Of San Francisco, you're sort of like
Well, you know
Do we need another crazy
Sort of classic bleeding heart
Liberal on the board of supervisors
Maybe not, maybe
We could use somebody who's a little bit more pragmatic
You know, maybe we need
A little bit more of a Barack Obama type, uh,
liberal somebody. Yeah. Somebody that, somebody that might consider the,
you know, actual solutions rather than just passing legislation to pass out,
you know, milk cartons to homeless people or whatever. Um,
but when he's in the California state assembly, yeah, great.
Because they need all the, uh, – I'm with him all the way.
He can propose any crazy liberal thing he wants, and I'll vote for him again.
I love it.
I love it.
Great.
So the thing – the reason why California doesn't have more cool laws is just that, like, it gets torpedoed.
Everything gets torpedoed by the Sacramento's and San Diego's of the world.
There's the supermajority, which is a real, real problem.
Yeah, they have to have a bigger than half majority to pass a budget.
When did this become local politics talk?
How did I let our show go to this?
KPFK all of a sudden.
Oh, I remember.
I thought it would be a fun setup as we started talking about it
to talk about what kind of propositions we might enjoy
getting on the ballot in the state of California.
Well, the one that I won is already on there, so I don't have anything else to fight for.
Are you sure your whole life is going to be rudderless if it passes?
I mean, it's not going to change the way I go about my daily business, if you know what I mean.
I'm already a medical marijuana patient in the state of California because of my back migraines.
Sure.
Sure. Sure.
Sure, I can understand that.
Have you seen this woman?
There's this woman.
The city of Los Angeles has, at this point, I think its primary form of business is medical marijuana dispensary.
Does it have a secondary form of business?
No.
I think it's basically just medical marijuana dispensaries.
I mean, I guess there are some Starbuckses,
but basically it's medical marijuana dispensaries.
There's four within walking distance of our apartment.
Well, I think three of them are going to have to close.
And what's left of the entertainment industry?
So you've got what's left of the entertainment industry,
a few Starbuckses, and medical marijuana dispensaries.
But there's this woman, and she was in,
I don't know if you guys saw Doug Benson's documentary Super High Me, an entertaining little film.
And he goes to this sort of extremely shady doctor to get his medical marijuana card.
This woman who basically has, at this point, she is advertising for herself in that same way that...
Are you talking about Doc 420?
I don't know.
Beautiful Persian woman?
Yes, absolutely.
Beautiful Persian woman.
And she has advertisements.
She has huge billboards across the city of Los Angeles that are basically taking...
They're about getting your medical marijuana card.
They're about getting your medical marijuana card, but they basically take the same form as sort of like a Latino guy with a mustache and slick back hair in a pinstripe suit. And it just says abogado and then underneath a phone number.
It has gone past the level of ambulance chasing lawyer.
She has three headshots on her business card.
Oh, like with different looks.
And I know this because I've heard from friends,
not that I've experienced this on Twitter,
that she has three headshots on her business card.
Hey, can I take this opportunity to talk about
a confusing Spanish language billboard I saw on the way over here?
Oh, of course, of course. Why not? We're 20 minutes into the intro why not bring up a new topic yeah
i i can wait no let's do it let's talk about it okay uh and because we've gotten a lot of mileage
about confusing billboards lately sure uh and i don't want to disappoint we spent half an hour
complaining about the girl scouts the other day uh, so this is on the way over here.
A billboard for Modelo.
Sure.
Just regular, not negro.
No, no, no.
Standard Modelo.
Popular beer.
And pardon me if I'm not conjugating this properly.
Okay. I was a very, very poor Spanish student.
Conjugation, not my strong suit either.
So we're going to have to rely on the Jordan was wrong community for this one.
Yeah, right.
Of which there are many of them.
The slogan was, su modelo, senor.
Your modelo, sir, is what I take that to mean.
And it is being, and the modelo is being thrust forward by a very beautiful, very bosomy woman.
Busty young woman, certainly.
So, you know, this is, you know, this is, you know, a beautiful woman is handing you a Modelo, your Modelo, sir.
It all makes sense so far.
She's in a referee outfit in a soccer stadium.
Sure.
Is this something that referees do it haven't you heard about foxy
refs i haven't and why is she stopping the game to hand someone a beer the success of foxy boxing
has uh led to foxy reffing but like doesn't but okay as a foxy boxing is the most obscure
mid-80s reference is anyone under i'm giving you bonus points for being under 42 and referencing Foxy Boxy.
That's like saying going to watch a stag film.
A blue movie.
Foxy Boxy.
But like, okay, as a ref, you have to have a certain amount of authority.
And you can't be serving people mid-game.
Much less calling them sir.
They should be calling you sir.
Or madam.
Because you're running the show. Or madam, certainly.
I think it's clear that the target audience for this is both men and women.
Sure, right. So yeah, I guess I'm just confused by this
character of the submissive,
I guess I should use another, the
subjugated, Subservient.
The subservient referee who serves you in the middle of a game.
Subservient, but sensual.
Sure.
I mean, certainly very sensual.
Her boobs are huge.
Do you think that she's.
I don't want people to think that they're not.
Who do you imagine that she's giving the beer to?
A soccer player?
A soccer fan?
Well, a soccer player.
That opens up.
Or a driver driving past a billboard.
Sure.
I'm starting to understand the appeal of the sport now, though,
if that's a regular part of the beautiful game.
Yeah, it is.
No, the appeal is it's simple.
Anybody can do it, the game of soccer.
It's simple.
No matter what level of economic standing
the place you live in, all you need is a ball and some
goals. And about a dozen other people in a huge, huge field.
That's one of the big things. And then the other one is
that the refs are so sexy.
And they stop the game to give you things that you want.
But the thing that's interesting about soccer to me is that in America, it's sort of an upper class sport for the most part.
But everywhere else, it's a working class deal.
Well, that's the thing.
I mean, the refs in other places.
Here in America, it's looked down upon to have a sexy ref.
But in other places, the refs are giving people other things, you know, like certainly beer.
I mean, if you come
to the United States,
maybe you're already living
a first world lifestyle.
You just want a cold beer.
But, you know,
in a lot of third world countries,
they're giving out grain rations.
Sure.
In Germany,
french fries with mayonnaise.
Millet for every goal.
Yeah.
So do you think that there was just,
this was a non-sports specific billboard.
This was just a beautiful woman handing you a beer with the slogan.
Which she happened to be a soccer referee.
Well, I'm saying then there's like, we should make this just a little more appealing to Latinos.
We can either add a soccer theme or have the billboard Blair a Morrissey song.
You can do one of the two.
Is that too L.A. specific?
That's too regionally specific.
I think what happened is, you know, Madison Avenue is in New York City.
They don't know about Latinos who love Morrissey.
Sure.
That needs to be explored more because it's an amazing, amazing phenomenon.
It's so weird.
It's probably the greatest.
It's probably, I mean, there are other good things about Los Angeles, certainly the weather and the beach.
But I would say the number one is Mexican-Americans who love Morrissey,
and specifically Mexican-Americans for the most part.
It's not a lot of Central American people who are on board in this Morrissey thing.
They haven't been around.
The beautiful thing about Mexican-American, you get the second generation,
and it's amazing how quickly it happens.
It's like, yeah, that's where I'm from, but I am fundamentally American,
and what could be more American than depressing,
you know, navel-gazing pop music?
Yeah, by an Englishman.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, we'll be back in just a second
with more of Jordan and Jesse Go.
Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you.
Love you, love you, love you, Love you. Love you. Love you.
It's Jordan Jesse Goh.
I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
With us, the great Nick Adams.
Nick, repeat Adams.
Hello.
It's great to have you here, Nick.
It's great to be here.
Hey, it's maximum fun drive time.
Isn't that beautiful?
It is beautiful.
But that's the time that it is.
Nick, here's how it works.
This whole operation,
this whole MaximumFun.org operation
is supported by listener donations.
I'm talking about the Sound of Young America,
Jordan Jesse Go,
Stop Podcasting Yourself,
the Casper Hauser Comedy Podcast,
the Coil and Sharp Podcast,
the College Years,
the whole nine yards.
The family of podcasts.
Oh, absolutely.
They're all supported by listener donations.
And, you know, we try and keep it classy.
We try not to ask for money too much.
But we do it once a year, once a year for two weeks, in this case May 13th through 28th of 2010.
We ask for people to go online and make a donation.
You can give $5 a month, $10 a month, $20 a month.
Jesse's Golden Eagles is $100 a month, and Jordan's Platinum Angels is $200 a month.
And how might one go about giving, Sid?
Oh, you just go to MaximumFun.org slash donate.
It's as easy as snapping your fingers or in this case it's as easy as
typing something
into the URL bar,
the address bar
of your internet browser.
H-T-T-P
colon slash slash
maximumfund.org
slash donate.
I wasn't writing that down.
Can we do the...
I don't know.
That first part
was especially confusing.
H-T-T-P
colon
double slash
dub dub dub Remember when dub dub dub was going to be something? People were going to say dub dub dub? H-double-T-P-colon-double-slash-dub-dub-dub.
Remember when dub-dub-dub was going to be something?
People were going to say dub-dub-dub.
Yeah, that was a thing.
That was definitely a thing.
That was like what?
It was a period.
98 to...
98, 99, there was a period where people were going to say dub-dub-dub,
and then they realized they could just drop it.
They could just not say it out loud.
Maximumfun.org slash donate is where you can give,
and you get awesome
prizes. We've got a brand
new DVD. I feel like we haven't talked enough
about this brand new DVD that we've got.
It's
our first ever DVD.
The title of the DVD, The Sound of Young America
Live in New York City.
An HD DVD.
Wow.
It is guaranteed not to play on your player.
Sure.
Unless you have a, what,
an add-on for your Xbox 360.
Right, yeah, one of those Xbox peripherals.
Then you can play it.
This is what's on there.
It's got a Sound of Young America live show,
and the Sound of Young America live show in New York
is beautiful,
and it's got Andrew W.K.,
Kumail Nanjiani,
Rick Cordero.
That guy's hilarious.
He's a fantastic, fantastic comedian.
Rick Cordero, the great music video director.
Did you guys hear Kumail Nanjiani on Comedy Death Raid talking about John Mayer heckling him?
No.
I heard that story, though.
That story's pretty great.
God, it's fucking amazing.
Anyway, sorry, not to plug another podcast in the middle of our pledge break.
Sure.
Anyway, don't listen to that. Sorry, not to plug another podcast in the middle of our pledge break. Anyway.
Don't listen to that.
We've got Scott Adsit from 30 Rock on that show.
It's a very, very full Nellie Mackay, very full and exciting show.
An intro by me?
Yeah, absolutely.
It sort of cuts in halfway in.
Good.
Just imagine the first part.
The thing that I think is most amazing about this whole operation, though, some
exclusive Jordan Jesse Go content.
This is the only place you're going to get this stuff,
Jordan, Nick. We've got,
we premiered it at MaxFunCon
to much acclaim, I think.
The RiffTrax guys came up
to me to tell me about how much they enjoyed it.
We made our first ever,
what do you call that?
We wouldn't call it a Riff Trax
because that's a copyrighted thing
of the Riff Trax Corporation.
No, yeah, this is a funny old public domain health video
that Jesse and I goof over.
Yeah, it's a goof over.
It's a goof trax.
It's a goof trax, we call it,
which you can't get anywhere else.
It premiered at too much acclaim at MaxFunCon.
And also all of the animated cut scenes from Jordan Jesse game,
which you can otherwise only get by beating Jordan Jesse game.
Which is very hard.
Very hard because of something about sprites.
Something related to sprites is the reason why.
Pixies.
Pixies.
Gremlins.
Gremlins.
That features our friend John Hodgman and Andy Daly.
And you get that by donating $5 a month or more.
It's that simple.
It is that simple.
And, of course, we had a big t-shirt contest.
You can get a t-shirt of the Sound of Young America, of Stop Podcasting Yourself, of Jordan
and Jesse Go if you donate $10 a month or more.
In addition to the DVD, if you donate $20 a month or more,
you get all three.
You get the DVD,
you get the t-shirt,
and then you get a special prize from our prize pool.
We've got about 100 books and musics
and DVDs and shit like that.
Musics.
Yeah, absolutely.
Music discs, excuse me.
And yeah, so MaximumFun.org
slash donate.
Our goal, 1,000 new donors.
You can keep up with our progress at MaximumFun.org slash donate. Our goal, 1,000 new donors. You can keep up with our progress at MaximumFun.org.
We hope you'll be tweeting about it.
And we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go.
It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Summer do? She's got a new summer hairstyle. She's looking pretty snazzy. What I like about giving Coco a nice summer haircut, normally she's a very scruffy dog.
Give her a summer haircut, she looks a little bit like a seal or an otter.
Did you give her her haircut?
No, we took her to the dog haircut store.
Trained professionals.
Yeah.
In her new otter-like state, is she learning to use tools?
No, but we think she may get there.
I mean, we have been giving her a lot of
clams, just in
the hopes that she'll be able to figure out
the whole tool thing. No floating on her back
and opening them up?
Yeah, I mean, we'll see. We also
have a lot of rocks around the house, but that
was just already. We already have a lot of rocks. You have Japanese
rock gardens. Yeah. You guys are really into those.
In our house.
Why don't you see more otters as pets?
They're so cute.
Ferocious, probably.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe it's just hard to get clams.
Hard to get enough clams.
Does that sound right?
I would just throw an otter in the pool.
Okay.
Wouldn't that be cute?
That would be pretty cute.
I would be better than...
If people would just go outside.
I mean, this is assuming you're rich and you have a pool.
You know how...
Saltwater pool.
Yeah, saltwater pool.
You know how a lot of people will get a pool and they'll be excited that they have a pool,
but then they'll realize that pools are a little bit boring and they won't use them that much?
Mm-hmm.
I think we have a possibility of marketing something to those people,
bringing those people otters to make
their pools dramatically more entertaining.
Sure.
And adorable.
Because number one, it's something to look at when nobody's in the pool.
Certainly if there's no sexy bikini ladies around.
Sure.
Number two, put a little kid in there with the otter.
Are they going to make friends?
Is the otter going to slash the little kid with its claws?
You know, it's got powerful sort of flipper claws.
Yeah.
You know what I'm talking about?
I do know about flipper claws.
I think this, fuck this pledge drive bullshit.
Fuck MaximumFun.org slash donate.
The real money is in selling otters to pool owners.
Or if someone donates enough money, they get an otter.
That's the prize.
Oh, I like that.
I like that, Nick.
But you have to send us a picture of your pool.
We're not going to just put an otter into an apartment where it has no place to float.
Not going to be ridiculous.
Right.
Yeah, that's silly.
I want this to be at least like a full lap pool.
It doesn't have to be Olympic-sized.
No.
But I don't want one of these.
The last thing I want is one of these pools with a really small-
Not a reflecting pool.
That you swim against. What's that called? It's in the back of Not a reflecting pool. It has the current that you swim against.
What's that called?
It's in the back of like New Yorker magazine.
Sure.
That's going to tire out.
And certainly I don't want any poke boats.
Speaking of things in the back of the New Yorker.
No above ground pools.
No, no above ground pools.
No kiddie pools.
We want a real pool.
Yeah.
We're concerned primarily about the welfare of the otter.
Here's the thing. Which is why we're taking them out of the wild and throwing them in a coronated pool. Yeah, we're concerned primarily about the welfare of the otter. Here's the thing.
Which is why we're taking them out of the wild and putting them in a coronated pool.
With little to no clams.
Right.
We'll provide a starter pack of clams.
Sure.
Don't you think we should provide a clam starter pack?
No, I mean, that's only polite.
So the new owner, we'll make a little pamphlet, too.
So you've got an otter. Sure. do they get up on their feet right and find a source sourcing the clams sourcing
the the stones that they use to bang open the clams it's a whole cottage inside it just says
don't feed it dog food unless you want it's unless you want its coat to be coat to be really shiny
yeah and beautiful and that you do which case which case, do feed it dog food.
Do feed it some dog food.
Jordan, I feel like when we were in the break there, I was getting a something stuck in my craw vibe from you.
You know, that's apt, Jesse.
Yeah.
Because I do have something lodged in my craw.
Okay, sure.
Lodged deep in my craw.
Can I get it off my chest?
Is it a clam?
Get it out of your craw.
Your craw is in your chest.
I don't like any bivalves.
I won't need a bivalve.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't understand the appeal of them.
Mussel, oyster.
Yeah.
Delicious.
Anything that comes out of the ocean, I'm down for.
So gross.
No, they all taste like the ocean.
Anything with a hinged shell. I can't get behind. I had a really disappointing
day about two weeks ago when someone
told me that shrimp aren't good for you.
I figured they were roughly equivalent
to fish. That's a lie.
I figured they were equivalent to fish.
Slanderous. Turns out they've got a lot
of cholesterols in them or something like that.
They're not very good for you.
It's too bad because shrimps is the only thing from the ocean
that I'm really into. What?
I don't mind a squid. I'll eat a squid too. good for you. And it's too bad because shrimps is the only thing from the ocean that I'm really into. What? Yeah.
I don't mind a squid. I'll eat a squid, too.
Anything that comes out of the sea appropriately battered.
If you batter it, fry it.
Can I ask you guys a question about
ordering... We'll get back
to your craw in a second. No, sure. Absolutely.
Trust me, Jesse. My craw will still
be here when you get back. Okay.
Right there on your chest.
I want to ask you a question about ordering Trust me, Jesse, my craw will still be here when you get back. Okay, right there on your chest. Sure.
I want to ask you a question about ordering the fried calamari at a restaurant.
Sure.
You order that fried calamari, you get two kinds of calamaris.
You get O-circle, and then you get little octopus.
Right.
What's the point of having the O-circles if the little octopuses are available?
Like, who are these people who want an O-circle
instead of a little octopus?
I think there are probably
some people who
the little octopus
might creep them out.
Yeah, no, that's me.
The tentacles make me nervous.
I should be able to say,
hold the circles.
All I want is little octopuses
because it's so exciting.
It's a reminder
that you have dominion
over the beasts.
You can deep fry them in their natural state
So you'll eat the tentacles
But you won't eat just regular seafood?
It doesn't taste good to me
A fish tastes gross to me
Every fish just tastes gross to me
I don't like it
Shocking
I know
That's amazing
I know, you thought I was the kind of urbane guy
And you're from San Francisco Who loves a good snapper
And you're from San Francisco
Loves a good snapper
A fine coastal seafood destination
Grouper
Maybe I just associate seafood with tourists
Seafood with tourists?
Yeah
I feel like that's the only people who eat seafood in San Francisco
People go down to Fisherman's Wharf
Or the people that just go to a restaurant
and randomly order salmon.
Yeah, get themselves a mahi-mahi, maybe.
Thorne, you don't know what you're missing.
I would eat...
I'll eat a tuna tartare thing.
It seems like a random...
No, because the thing is,
is a tuna tartare, here's why.
A tuna tartare,
when you're tartaring the tuna,
you don't want it to taste too much like tuna.
So you put a lot of other shit in there.
Okay, Dr. Seuss.
You know what I mean?
They put a lot of stuff in there to confuse you into thinking that you're not eating a raw fish.
They put like some mango chutney in there or something like that.
You know, like whatever their fusion cuisine thing is that they add to the...
Nick, why are you so angry at me?
I bet Jordan doesn't like eating fishes. No, I'll
eat... Halibut? Mostly... Sea bass?
I'm mostly... I would say I'm about
60-40 against fish. What?
But I still like... We had a conversation about fish and chips. I know that's
kind of a deep-fried mayonnaise situation.
Not the real deal, but no, I'll eat a sashimi
if I go to a sushi restaurant that's delicious and slimy.
I don't know.
I kind of feel like if somebody served me fish and chips,
I would just be disappointed that it wasn't chicken fingers.
Darn.
So disappointing. I'm sorry.
I'm a sophisticate in many ways, but I have
an unsophisticated undersea
palate. I'm married an Alaskan, so
none of this stuff would even compute in our
household. You might be thrown out of our
household. Do you use one of those
knives with the blade
that's shaped like a smile
on a smiley face where you have to
rock it back and forth to chop things?
It's called a Meta Luna, and yes, we do have one.
Thank you very much.
It's an authentic Lord of the Rings replica weapon,
and yes, we do use it in food preparation.
I thought it was called like an Ulu or something like that.
No, it's a Meta Luna.
It's a Nigella Lawson-inspired purchase that we made.
Wait a minute, Nick.
This isn't about some kind of...
This isn't about being an Alaskan.
This isn't about traditional ways to flay a salmon.
This isn't about the First Nations.
This is about Nigella Lawson.
It all goes back to Nigella Lawson.
Yeah, I'm pretty much on board with Nigella Lawson.
Are you on board with this, Jordan?
This is this foxy cooking lady, right?
Oh, man, is she?
Although she did drop out of my top five.
I don't know if you...
Oh, who replaced...
You know, I was looking at your blog.
I was looking at your blog.
I saw that you'd updated your list of the top five white ladies.
I did, I did.
Oh, my.
Who knocked her out of the top spot?
Or I guess the middle.
I don't know what spot she was at.
Well, there was a shake-up. Things got a little bit more political.
Elizabeth Warren, I think is her name.
She's the oversight lady on the financial side of things.
She's been all over the news. She was on The Daily Show.
She's like this adorable school marmish watchdog lady.
She's up there.
You're like a woman You're like a woman
Who's gonna call you out
For insider trading
Absolutely
It's a turn on
Yeah teach a little lesson
Teach a lesson
Also in my top five
Is Amy Goodman
From Democracy Now
Okay
Why are you
No I
It's not about sexuality
I've never
Oh it's not
It's not about sexuality
Come on
This is quality
I'm above that
Sensuality Jordan I'm above that It's not about sexuality. Come on. This is quality of life. It's about sensuality, Jordan.
I'm above that.
It's about just their impact on my life overall.
As someone who's seen Amy Goodman interacting live in person at public radio conferences,
yeah, it's not about sexuality.
Okay.
It's not a physical thing.
She is a badass.
So here's the thing.
I guess Nigella Lawson's presence or former presence on the list,
that had nothing to do with her intense sexuality.
Oh, it had a lot to do with her intense sexuality.
But it was also about her character.
It's not just about sexuality.
I call it smoldering.
It's very much smoldering.
Nigella Lawson's gift is sexualizing the non-sexual
i would say well i mean food is kind of a sensual thing certainly well when nigella lawson like the
primary you know the the biggest shots in a nigella lawson show were like her pouring cream over her
head her laying in bed and eating chocolates which she actually does on her show have we talked about
jordan we talked about the time i met Nigella Lawson on Jordan, Jesse Go?
I don't think we have.
I fed her grapes.
Oh, actually, hold on.
Yeah, you told me that story.
Before we get into this grape story, I would like to hear it.
I just want to hear who the number one white lady is.
Oh, it's Bjork in perpetuity.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
Until something momentous happens.
Fair enough.
That's not unreasonable.
I don't think anybody can argue with that.
Sorry.
I mean, she's really white.
I mean, she's Icelandic, which is like sort of the capital of white people.
Sure, yeah.
And she's just, you know, she's pretty amazing. I mean, she's Icelandic, which is like sort of the capital of white people. Sure, yeah.
And she's just, you know, she's pretty amazing.
She's the most amazing white lady ever.
Well, back to Jesse's lie.
Maybe Betsy Ross.
Okay.
I feel like Iceland at this point is, you know, they're really into alternative fuels.
It may be fueled by whiteness.
It's fueled by Bjork. They grab something that's sort of like a love meter handle
And they fuel the nation based on their whiteness
They got a lot of it
Yeah, they're almost electric
Is Bjork still musically relevant?
Does she still do Bjork-y type things?
Yeah, she's still around
I mean, she's never been sort of
She's no Fergie
She's not going to be on the cover of Entertainment Weekly
But, you know
She couldn't cut the mustard
She liked actual good music and not She doesn't have the muscles to be Fergie She doesn't cut the mustard. She liked actual good music and not crap.
She doesn't have the muscles to be Fergie.
She doesn't have the raw physical power.
Or the shitty rap backing her.
You don't add white women to rap groups.
I'm sorry.
There's a lot of things that can be improved by the addition of a white lady.
You're looking at me like it was my idea.
Jordan, it was your idea to add a white lady to the Black Eyed Peas.
Remember?
Listen, I was drunk and I was yelling a lot of things at Will.i.am. One of them was add a white lady to the Black Eyed Peas. Remember... Listen, I was drunk and I was yelling a lot of things at Will.i.am.
One of them was add a white lady.
The other one was throw some otters in your pool.
I don't...
Sorry, that's the one he picked.
How do you know?
You never know what's going on in the massive I.am compound.
No, I've seen the pool.
No otters.
Nick, you remember.
I mean, it was back when...
There's a manatee.
It was back when the Black Eyed Peas were just a pleasant and inoffensive underground hip-hop group.
Moderately successful?
Moderately successful, completely contentless, who were probably best known for dancing on stage.
And their smash hit joints and jams?
Yeah, sure.
Did they always have the Filipino guy?
Yeah, they always had a Filipino guy.
Are you referring to Taboo?
Yes.
He is part Native American
and part something else, I think.
Okay.
My wife actually met those guys
in a magazine shoot.
Sometimes I get...
Sometimes I have to admit
I get Taboo and Apple D. App confused.
It's understandable.
They're all so bad at rapping.
I mean, even back when
the primary indicator of quality
hip-hop was supposed to be whether or not it
was positive,
even then, we knew that they were
terrible at rapping.
Their first album, which I think is really, really good,
I don't think they're...
I think that's about two reallys too many.
No, I think it's a really
good album. I don't think they were ever the strongest MCs.
I think the production was great and the overall vibe was great.
But listen, there's a lot of people that have gotten successful in rap who aren't really great MCs.
I mean, I don't think...
Usually, at the very least, they're distinctive.
You know what I mean?
I feel like they...
And I have nothing...
I'll listen to that record.
I'll listen to Joints and Jams
Specifically
But
They're horrible rappers
They're very very bad rappers
I think they've devolved
Into horrible rappers
I think they started out
You know
No they were just as bad
I think the
Oh there's no way
You can tell me that
You know
Boom Bap
And all this crap
That they're doing now
Is as bad as what they were doing
On that first
Come Jesse
Like there's a part of me though There's a part of me, though.
There's a part of me that kind of respects them
because I feel like maybe at some point they said,
you know what?
We're terrible at rapping.
We should focus on saying a thing over and over.
That way we won't have to rap.
That's how I would characterize their contemporary careers.
They definitely made a conscious choice to not try to get better
You know what?
They definitely did that
You know their hit song, I Got a Feelin'?
How can you not know the hit song, I Got a Feelin'?
So this song, I don't know
Every time I hear it, it kind of makes me want to vomit
But also, I'm kind of into it
I am not immune to the charms of I've got a feeling.
Now, granted, part of this is probably just that I don't listen to a lot of pop radio
or spend a lot of time in the mall.
So I don't have to spend a lot of time with this song to the point where it's...
You don't watch a lot of movie trailers.
I feel like that comes up in a lot of movie trailers these days.
Yeah, I don't watch a lot of movie trailers, probably, compared to the average man.
But I can understand its appeal.
I would literally kill a person to never have to hear the Black Japanese music.
Not an actual person, maybe like a Republican senator or something like that.
Not an actual real human being.
But I would strangle a man with my bare hands if it would ensure that they would never be allowed to produce musics ever again.
Man, you should not.
I'll tell you this much.
I don't know how much time you spent with the Filipino community, but I would not share
that with them.
Listen, I'll go toe-to-toe with all of the Filipino.
This is one issue on which I refuse to back down.
The Panoys of the world are really going to take it to you.
I mean, you saw what they did to Adam Carolla
when he made one of his
many, many
slightly racist,
vaguely racist
comments about
some Filipino boxer.
Manny Pacquiao.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was a ridiculous comment.
It was, but I mean,
you know, it's Carolla.
You know, he says these things
about once a show.
Right.
They really stuck it to him.
What was the comment?
I don't know what the comment was. I it to him. What was the comment?
I don't know what the comment was.
I don't remember.
It was sort of like,
it was something about, you know, him.
It was something about religions in the Philippines.
It was like a vaguely,
it was like vaguely like that one guy in Major League with the bone through his nose.
Right.
Up yours, Joe Boo.
Yeah, it was sort of suggested that.
It was one of those things where white people extrapolate, like, you know, they reference someone else's culture and a belief that that culture has that they think is silly.
And subscribe, you know, subscribe it to the entire culture as if white culture doesn't have, you know, as many silly beliefs as every other culture.
We believe in Barbra Streisand, for example.
Yeah, I think for that, I think he should have to explain that to Manny Pacquiao
in a ring with
boxing gloves on.
You know, I could see that happening.
You know, Carolla was a boxer
for some time.
Yeah.
I don't think he was a Manny Pacquiao
level boxer. I don't think there's very many people
who have ever walked the earth who are Manny Pacquiao
level boxers. What weight class is that guy fighting?
Pacquiao?
Yeah.
I get those confused.
But he runs about 150?
There was a guy who was a student teacher at my middle school.
And he was a professional boxer, a part-time professional boxer.
In fact, he once fought on ESPN while he was teaching at our school, student teaching at our school.
And he was like a flyweight.
He was like the smallest weight you could be.
He was maybe like 5'2".
He was like smaller than me, or maybe 5'4".
Like smaller than me when I was 11.
And I don't think a person could physically have more muscles than he had.
And also, the velocity that he was able to bring to bear on any given physical task was so spectacular.
It was like you couldn't see his hands moving no matter what he was doing.
The old hands beat, man.
Yeah, it was unreal.
A boxer is a remarkable creature.
Although I have to say, in my old age, I've become less and less a fan of boxing.
When I watch boxing, I find myself thinking, haven't we evolved beyond this?
You know what, though?
What's amazing is we've evolved beyond it into mixed martial arts fighting.
More brutal forms of combat.
Which is just boxing, but with kicking in the shins.
Boy, I have a good buddy of mine who I work with, the kind of co-producer I go on a lot
of my work trips with, loves mixed martial arts.
Very good guy. I like
spending time with him. You know, he'll want to, you know, go to a bar and have a drink when there's
a fight on and watch it. I, I can't do it. And as much as I, I, I, uh, like someone inviting me
into their sports experience, which people don't typically do because of my, uh, questions and
kind of zoning out while it happens um i'm either
asking a dumb question or i'm zoning out when something's related is going on as much as i
appreciate i just i i can't get interested in it i feel like it's alternately boring and horrific
like when i'm not bored i'm horrified and when you say as much as you appreciate i'm horrified
the extent to which you appreciate it is largely none.
What do you mean?
You said as much as you appreciate a sports experience.
Oh, I appreciate when someone invites me into their sports experience.
It's a compliment.
I like the idea of some sort of group viewing.
There was a point in my life where I had thought, maybe I'll get into boxing.
I was about 15, 16.
I don't remember exactly how old I was.
Went to somebody's house, a friend of my dad's house,
to watch a big fight.
And then Mike Tyson bit Vander Holyfield's ear off
and it fucking terrified me.
It horrified me because the basis of boxing,
I feel like the ground rules
of boxing are the only
thing that reminds you
that it's not a
nightmare. No biting.
Yeah, the fact that you can't bite
or kick somebody in the balls is
the only thing that makes you feel like
maybe this could be a sport. Maybe it's
a beautiful display of athleticism rather than just a nightmare, post-apocalyptic betting scenario.
I still appreciate the skill in boxing.
I think it can be a sort of beautiful display of athleticism.
But ultimately, it's two people punching each other in the face.
Sure.
So I don't know.
I feel like at a certain point.
Did I hear that Mike Tyson has another kind of hangover-esque
self-referential appearance planned?
What else can he do?
Mike Tyson has more than that, my friend.
Mike Tyson has an upcoming reality series on Animal Planet.
That's right.
I forgot about that.
What animal?
Why?
Was he punching animals yes it's my mike tyson what animals can i punch that was a different animal each week that
was one of the you know every now and then you see something in the news and you read the you
read the headline and you just i just i do this i make this face like i'm not reading that i don't
even want to i'm just gonna pretend like i didn't hear that like it's like the flavor slave sitcom
i saw the headline i just went you know i'm just gonna move on with I didn't hear that. It's like the Flavor Flav sitcom. I saw the headline.
I just went, you know, I'm just going to move on with my day.
As far as I'm concerned, that's not happening.
Yeah, it's not happening.
You can't sink your emotions into that.
You know, as appealing as the idea is that maybe it would just be Mike Tyson fighting a different animal every week
or just a show about Mike Tyson, who they consider to be less than human,
or just a show about Mike Tyson, who they consider to be less than human.
What it actually is, is it's a show about Mike Tyson's passion for pigeons.
Right, right.
He has always loved raising pigeons in sort of like Ghost Dog.
Okay.
And it's about his love affair with his pigeons.
I don't know what the storyline is. I don't, I can't understand.
How many episodes are there?
Because pigeons.
There'll be 30 episodes in the season.
Yeah, I really don't understand
what narrative you can make out of pigeons.
I mean, but look, they made a show out of
sort of post-op trannies in Orange County,
you know, posing as housewives.
I don't think you really need a narrative
in reality television anymore.
It's just like, hey, here's some annoying,
you know, Italians down the shore.
Put them on TV.
Mike Tyson can carry a joke.
I guess I agree with what you're saying.
I'm just saying to this Mike Tyson pigeon project, how do we add sluts?
That's a good point.
How are we going to add a few sluts?
Here's the thing.
Okay.
There are certain hobbies that a young man takes up in order to attract women,
whether it's playing the guitar or fighting in a boxing gym.
There are certain things that a young man might do in order to appeal to the opposite sex.
And I think there is no doubt, less than zero doubt,
that pigeon handling and breeding is
one of those activities.
Nothing draws the dames like a good bird.
Hey, it's right up there with train spotting.
Ham radio.
Ham radio, certainly.
Absolutely ham radio.
Yeah, Carmen Electra's gonna come visit
his roof covered in shit.
Sexy!
Star of Baywatch.
If there's a camera there,
she will definitely come visit you.
Oh, yeah.
She will appear in front of a camera.
We'll be back in just a second
with more of Jordan Jesse Go.
It's Jordan Jesse Go.
I am Jesse Thorne,
America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris Boy detective
Sitting in
I'm Nick
Repeat Adams
Oh Nick
It's such a joy to have you here
It's a joy to be here
Over in
In a beautiful
Silver Lake
Yeah
Epicenter of
Everything hip
In Los Angeles
Oh Jesse doesn't like people
Who know where he lives
So
Yeah
Brentwood, California
There you go
I misspoke
Sure
I wish I could buy
Perfect
A perfect cover
What if my thing was
That I had bought
OJ Simpson's mansion
In Brentwood
Let's go with that
Let's go with that
Yeah
We're here in the
Simpson
In Simpson Manor
I don't know why
That baffled me so much
He said we're here
In Brentwood
He's like
What if I bought
OJ Simpson's house
Was it
Was it in OJ Simpson's
I think you're probably right
I feel like most of the world
Maybe because you're from Southern California
Originally Brentwood doesn't just mean
OJ Simpson's house
But I think for most of the world
If you say Brentwood all that means
That was the first time
Because that was before I lived here
That was the first time I'd ever heard Brentwood
It's so funny how those OJ Simpson
Details are so
Like that's just a
Terrible slash dumb thing that happened A long time ago but for some reason how those O.J. Simpson details are so... That's a terrible
slash dumb thing that happened a long
time ago, but for some reason
I do recognize that.
It's our generation's JFK assassination.
It's the whole O.J. debacle.
Absolutely.
Judge Ito, guys. Judge Ito?
You mean because in both cases we lost one of our greatest
leaders. Yes, of course. That's exactly
what I meant.
And now the emails from white people will come pouring in.
Nick Adams.
Speaking of good times, pledge drive.
Pledge drive time here. Speaking of double murder.
Pledge drive time here at MaximumFun.org.
Nick, I don't know if you know about this.
I may not even have talked to you about this yet, but Jordan and I are doing an eight-hour Jordan-Jesse-Go program on May 28th.
I think you mentioned it.
Eight hours long.
How is that going to work?
Poorly, I expect.
We'll see.
It'll be unwatchable.
I'm looking up at the board.
We've already got confirmed guests.
This is just confirmed guests.
We've only begun to book guests on this thing.
There's a lot of stuff in the hopper. The Sklar
Brothers. Very funny guys. Paul Scheer.
Rob Hubel. Very funny guys.
Clifford and Kid. Our pals Clifford and Kid.
The Sketch Comedy Group. That's an
old school Jordan Jesse Go favorite.
Sure. People probably still remember
the candy bar contest. We're going to
do a root beer taste test with Clifford and Kay.
Oh,
fantastic.
It's going to be fantastic.
Those two charming young ladies,
Karen Kilgareth.
Very funny lady.
As good as it gets.
Steve Agee from the Sarah Silverman program.
A giant man,
a huge man.
Sure.
I like,
I like to.
Bearded.
I like to bring somebody on the show who's bigger than I am to remind me of my place in the universe
keep you in check
and speaking of bigger than I am
Edie McClurg
is going to be on the program
now that's a get
in the business we call that a get
Edie McClurg
we're going to stream it from 4pm Pacific to midnight Pacific
on Friday the 28th
it's the grand finale of the Maximum Fun Drive.
If we're not nearing
our goal of 1,000 donors by then,
I think that's when we're going to close the deal.
If Edie should put you over the top.
Yeah, absolutely.
If you're not donating for Edie McClure, I don't know what the fuck you'll donate for.
She played the teacher or the secretary
in Ferris Bueller. What was he?
The school secretary, right?
Sure. She did a voiceover work in A Bug's Life.
Yeah, we're talking about the Edie McClurg, Nick.
The Edie McClurg.
I celebrate her entire body of work, Jesse.
Here's the thing.
What we're doing here is all supported by your donations.
There are already literally hundreds of people
who donate to support all these things that we do, whether it's five dollars a month, ten dollars a month, twenty dollars a month, one hundred, two hundred dollars a month.
You know, we've got donors at all of those levels.
And every single one, a single one of those people is somebody who believes in supporting what you like.
Like we spend we don't we try not to.
It's not like your local public radio station.
We don't have three pledge drives a year.
We just do it drives a year.
We just do it once a year for two weeks just to get it out of the way.
But this is most of the money that supports MaximumFun.org. I really – people get shocked sometimes if I tell them how much money I get from public radio stations, from the several dozen public radio stations that we're on.
But it's – let's put it this way, less than $15,000 a year.
Wow.
And, you know, that has to support not just me,
but also Nick, who edits the show,
and, you know, all the other activities that we do,
you know, booking studios and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So MaximumFun.org is where you can go to donate,
and I expect you to do so.
If you're out there and you're listening,
we've got literally a five-digit audience on JordanJesseGo,
a strong five-digit audience.
There's no reason that these people shouldn't be donating.
They can get up off.
Tony up, cheapskates.
Hey, how about this?
Give us two bucks a month.
Get off your duff.
Hey, guys, get off your duff.
Good night, everybody. Can that be the catchphrase of our pledge drive i mean yeah i guess you have to give me eight bucks for
it really yes that's what i charge for catchphrases an eight dollar charge for catch you know that
this money that's a bargain that is a fucking bargain you know how much wendy's made with
where's the beef you know how much you're gonna to make with Get Off Your Duff? Did you create Where's the Beef?
It's an investment.
No, I'm just saying
this is how powerful
catchphrases can be.
I just recently watched
Art and Copy,
so I'm in agreement.
There you go.
I don't know.
I kind of,
I'm a little worried about this.
I mean, for one thing, Jordan,
I kind of feel like
this should be a team effort.
I mean, the money
that you get paid
to do this show
comes from this,
from these donations. I, you know, if you're going to have this show comes from this. You know what? From these donations.
You know, if you're going to have that, too, go ahead.
Try your little pledge drive without.
Get off your duff.
Let's see how much money you make.
I bet it's nothing.
I bet it's jack squat.
Jeez.
Okay, look.
I've got, let's see, that's a one.
All right.
Got two 10.
How about if I give you 10?
Do you have change?
I don't have change.
What if I give you 11?
Do you have change for 11?
I do have change for 11.
Okay, great.
All right.
Where's the...
Get off your duff.
Get off your duff.
Oh, no.
Change it to where's the duff.
Where's the duff?
Maximumfund.org slash donate.
No excuses.
Do it now.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you.
Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love Repeat Adams, happy to be here in Brentwood, California. Oh, beautiful
Brentwood, California, where the
lawns are green and the money's greener.
And blood runs down the alleyways.
Marsha Clark, guys.
Right?
Judge Ito.
Oh, good old Ito.
What was it called? Bruno Molly's.
Christopher Darden. Christopher Darden.
Christopher Darden's book. Kato Kaelin. Yeah, Christopher Darden. Christopher Darden's book.
Kato Kaelin.
Yeah, sure.
Absolutely.
Christopher Darden's book.
Kato Kaelin.
Certainly Glove.
How about that one?
Johnny Cochran.
Stabbings.
Murder.
It wasn't a stabbing.
It was more of a slashing.
Beheading.
It was a beheading?
They were beheaded?
I don't remember the specifics. Now beheaded well now we're getting very
graphic specifics now all of a sudden we're uh nancy grace well the problem is i don't have
anything to accuse you guys of she would be in my bottom five white women now there's a there's a
there's a blog entry that eight people will read your bottom five white women yeah yeah nancy grace
is definitely in the bottom five.
Do you keep lists for each ethnicity distinct of the other ethnicities,
or is it really just white and other?
You're an African American.
For folks who don't know, you're an African American gentleman yourself.
Yes.
No, I'm black.
I don't consider myself African American.
I like black.
I prefer black.
You're one of the blacks.
I'm one of the blacks.
One of the many blacks.
Your wife is Native American, but maybe also she's of mixed ethnicity?
She's Native American and Caucasian, but primarily Native American.
Primarily Native American.
So you're looking at...
It's like taboo.
Similar to taboo from the black IPA.
She also played Vega in a Street Fighter movie.
Jordan, she's not taboo. She is Apple Diap.
Excuse me. I have a friend who works for the black eyed peas
and she tells me that Taboo wears the Vega
outfit on stage. Referencing the failed
Street Fighter movie that he was in. And also in terms
of horrible comic slash video game adaptations,
Will.i.am, I recently saw him in the X-Men prequel,
which was abysmal in all shapes and forms.
Will.i.am was in Wolverine?
Yes.
You know what?
I saw Common in the movie Date Night,
and I thought to myself,
this is Common's role in the movie date night common plays
the second policeman of a team of two corrupt annoyed policemen uh the first one is played by
uh what's the fellow who's on it's always sunny in philadelphia recently had an excellent turn on
party down uh edie mcclurg edie mcclurg in uh in the newClurg In the new Party Down season?
Yeah, the first episode of the new season of Party Down
Simpson, Simpson, something Simpson
Sammy Simpson or something like that
Anyway, this fellow was the first one
He had most of the lines
Common had about five lines
And maybe 15 or 20 minutes of screen time in the film
Couldn't swing it.
So you're not going to see just right is what you're saying.
Yeah, I was going to say at the risk of making a mistake and sounding racist,
isn't he erotically hugging Queen Latifah in some billboards recently? There's a lot of problems with that.
Number one, common playing basketball.
This is, I think, a symptom of America's film producers just assuming that as long as you cast a black guy, he will be credible playing basketball.
I have gone on record for years now saying if you're making a movie about a sport, anyone on film playing the sport has to have at least played that sport in college or semi-professionally.
It doesn't work.
It just doesn't work.
You've got to get Costner.
You've basically got to get Costner.
You've got to get...
And there's actually a lot of people in town
who played basketball at a competitive level.
Common did not.
I don't know if you've seen the previews for this film,
but Common did not play basketball at a competitive level.
And, you know, hey, look, I'm a big Common fan.
As am I.
I like Common a lot.
I mean, granted, his last couple of records have been kind of a snooze,
but a gifted rapper.
A gifted rapper and an excellent dancer as well.
I don't know if you've ever seen him.
Yeah, yeah.
Windmill, but he can break a little bit as well.
A handsome man.
By all accounts, a decent fellow.
I've never heard someone speak an ill word of Common.
No, I've not.
But, boy, based on the movie Date Night,
ever heard someone speak an ill word of common.
No ever.
But boy, based on the movie Date Night, I cannot imagine making it through an entire movie that stars him as an actor.
Queen Latifah's quite good, though.
Isn't she great?
She's a talented lass.
She's great.
Why don't we go to the telephones?
Yeah.
At MaxFunCon.
Maybe Queen Latifah has called.
At the s'mores roast at MaxFunCon, I was talking to some friendly MaxFunsters.
They asked me why we didn't have that many calls lately.
I said, I can't get the CD player to work with my burned CDs, and I don't know why,
because they used to work fine, and maybe it's something about my new computer or something.
Here's what they told me.
You've got to burn the CD at a slower rate
so it has less errors because it's likely
that my CD player has poor error
correction. Oh. So...
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
My feelings... Nick just made the
zooming over the head motion. But I'm glad
that I didn't go out and buy a new CD player
to correct this problem, which was the only
error that I had in my quiver
because, check this
out.
Hey, Jordan, Jesse, go.
This is Jeff from Erie.
Just calling with a momentous occasion.
This Wednesday, it was announced that they're putting pot legalization on the California
ballot.
So, in November, all you guys over living in California are going to decide whether
you want to legalize and tax marijuana.
you guys over living in California are going to decide whether you want to legalize and tax marijuana.
And I just want to say that that is a political opportunity that no one seems to be taking,
even though we can get about $13 billion in revenue, plus all kinds of unknown benefits
right now.
Nick, I just wanted you to hear what you sound like.
That's not me.
That's Jeff calling from Erie.
Hey, Jordan, Jesse, go.
This is Jimmy in L.A.
And I also get my hair cut at Jerry the Barber.
I have since I was a baby.
And a few years ago, we recommended him to a gay couple that was across the street from us.
Very nice guys.
And now they get their hair cut at Jerry the Barber's.
And they always get their hair cut together,
and whenever Jerry talks about them to us,
he calls them the Bobsy Twins.
Jerry the Barber.
You know about Jerry the Barber?
Homophobe.
That's a slur.
You probably go to a black person barber.
This is a specific genre of barber.
Oh, you've got very little hair up there. You're shaving it off. What barber. This is a specific genre of barber. I go to myself barbers. I mean, come on.
Oh, you got very little hair up there.
You're shaving it off.
Yeah.
What are you using?
A triple blade?
A quadruple blade?
I usually go with a Mach 3.
Okay.
That's a nice blade.
The Extreme 3, the whatever.
Do you know what Vin Diesel uses?
I do not.
You guys haven't talked about that?
Do you know Vin Diesel?
Of course.
He's a black guy.
My contingent is that I think he's a white guy who's built up an interesting persona of multiracialism.
Yeah, what is Vin Diesel's deal?
I don't know.
I think he's black and Italian, right?
Yeah.
I don't know if you guys have seen.
If you type Vin Diesel into YouTube,
he directed a short film.
Multifacial.
Was that what it's called?
Multifacial was his short, I think.
I watched it.
I really enjoyed it.
I thought it was very good.
I've heard that it's very good.
I haven't seen it,
but I've heard good stuff about it.
I mean, it didn't blow my mind
or anything,
but I can see why
Hollywood people saw it
and thought,
man, this guy's really got
something on the ball.
And he seems to have decided
to spend most of his
sort of Hollywood capital
on the Chronicles of Riddick,
which was...
And the Fast and Furiouses.
Sure.
Well, I think he...
The Furiae.
Do you get the feeling
that he went back to the Fast and Furiaes. Sure. The Fury Eye. Do you get the feeling that he went back to the Fast and Fury Eye because he needed to develop some more Hollywood capital so that he could return to the Chronicles of Riddick?
Yeah, I feel like everything...
He's got a grand Riddick plan.
I enjoyed the first Riddick movie, I have to say.
Yeah, no, that Pitch Black isn't bad.
That is fun.
Also, I didn't expect anything out of it. It wasn't some momentous
sci-fi. It was just a movie. There are further chronicles to be chronicled,
though. I don't know. That second one was pretty... There are stories left untold.
I think it wrapped it up nicely. I think they wrapped it up nicely. Well, they wrapped it up.
Okay. Let's not go overboard with the praise. Nicely.
It was a bit much.
But the movie ended at a certain point.
The movie did end.
The credits rolled.
Nick, you've been here before.
I don't need to tell you about momentous occasions,
but here's how it works.
If there are any listeners who have only come in
in the last few weeks when our CD player's been not working,
every week we ask our listeners to give us a call
when something momentous happens to us.
They give us a call at 206-984-4FUN.
We will brush it off and then talk about Vin Diesel.
Yeah.
When something momentous occurs, preferably as it happens or in the immediate aftermath.
But, you know, we'll take a later call if it's a good call.
Let's go to the telephones.
Hi there.
My name is Tom Mayers,
and I work as a PA in the television industry. So today, I am trafficking a deceased bovine
from Fort Morgan, Colorado to Alamosa, Colorado. And yeah, momentous occasion.
And yeah, momentous occasion What television program is he working for
A, that needs him to drive around a dead cow
The Young and the Restless
They don't have a dead cow driver specialist
You'd think you'd need a license for that
A class COW license
Again, this is one of those where it's like
I keep the call short
But I want to know what the fuck you're doing.
You've got to elaborate.
You can't just say I'm driving a dead cow around and not give us some backstory.
Sure.
Well, we can create the backstory.
I don't want to.
I don't want to.
What's most remarkable is that this young man works as a PA, which is a production assistant.
Jordan, you had that job for a few years there.
Sure, I did.
It's sort of a gopher, a sort of do-anything-that-somebody-needs-help-with-on-the-stuff type job.
Yeah.
Indentured servant.
Yeah.
In Hollywood.
He works in the television industry, apparently in Colorado.
They have TV in Colorado.
Absolutely, yeah.
Probably got some nice tax breaks out there.
What's he working with?
Marty Stauffer on Wild America?
Dead cow.
You looked like you were going to say something,
but then you just got so hung up on thinking about Marty Stauffer.
I'm just trying to figure out why he's driving a dead cow.
Yeah.
It could have been Marty Stauffer's Domestic America.
Once a cow dies,
doesn't that become the animal control's responsibility? Yeah, it seems like if you needed. Once a cow dies, doesn't that become like the animal control's responsibility?
Yeah, it seems like if you needed to reference a dead cow, it seems like that's the prop shop's job.
Seems like to find a dead cow and to transport it is more difficult?
Do you think maybe he's, if it's a prop, only if it's like a side of beef?
Yeah.
Rather than an entire cow? Sure. In which case, it's probably what? Cast it's like a side of beef rather than an entire cow.
Sure.
In which case, it's probably what?
Casting's job, right?
It's casting, yeah.
You've got to get somebody with a certified...
The real problem is how do you code the expense report?
I think that's the issue.
Whose budget is this coming out of?
Right, exactly.
Catering certainly don't want any part of this.
Not yet.
But you could. I mean, eventually. Eventually, yeah. It goes to catering certainly don't want any part of this. Not yet. But you could.
I mean, eventually.
Eventually, yeah.
It goes to catering.
Sure.
Hi, Jordan, Jesse Go.
I have a momentous occasion for you.
I just bought a miracle plant.
Actually, it's a miracle fruit tree that produces miracle fruit that changes your taste buds to make everything taste like candy.
And that is my momentous occasion.
Thanks.
Bye.
This is an amazing thing.
At first when she said miracle plant, you know, I immediately thought marijuana.
But then she talked about the fruit.
Sure, because of all the many uses of hemp.
Yeah.
Industrial hemp.
Also, I don't know if you've heard it get you very high.
I've heard about this fruit. It's supposed to be amazing. I've talked to people who have experienced it. Yeah, I'm sure you do it. I've heard about this fruit.
It's supposed to be amazing.
I've talked to people who have experienced it.
Yeah, I'm interested in doing this.
I've never heard of this.
I feel like this is something we could do sometime on Jordan, Jesse, Go.
If somebody wants to source us a miracle fruit.
It's like lewds?
I guess you probably, yeah.
This is lewds, right?
Yeah, it's lewds.
That's what the kids are calling quaaludes now.
Yeah.
Miracle fruit.
It's, it's,
I don't know,
you probably can't send it
through the mail, right?
I think it's,
well, yeah,
I don't know what the law is.
You can mail fruit.
Somebody should mail us
a miracle fruit.
If it's something
you can send through the mail,
No, no,
someone should not mail
miracle fruit.
They should just mail
a random package
that may or may not,
you don't want to be
facilitating any
federal law breaking.
Mail it here.
You're talking about
miracle fruit.
Wink, wink, wink, wink.
Mail it here to 123 Edo Street, Brentwood, California.
Edo Street.
Hey, Jordan, Jessica.
This is Derek from Nashville.
With a momentous occasion slash moment of shame,
a moment of shame comes first.
I was at a gas pump filling up my gas, as I usually do before my commute home from work,
and I wasn't really paying attention, just squeezing the old gas,
and usually if you're approaching the fill limit of your gas tank,
the pump handle will just click off.
This time it did not, and I didn't notice
that it didn't until my entire right leg was covered in gasoline, and I didn't even notice
that until I heard the large African-American woman laughing at me in the next stall. Slow
it down, I'm covered in gas. Right now I'm driving with a pair of pants sitting next to me,
and I'm not wearing any pants.
It's actually kind of liberating.
So I recommend driving with no pants on, especially on the interstate.
I just feel good.
I have to tell you guys something important.
Okay.
I think part of why he feels good is because he's not wearing any pants
and he's driving on the interstate. I think part of why he feels good is because he's not wearing any pants and he's driving on the interstate.
I think part of why he feels good is because of the fumes.
Fumes?
Yeah.
I just felt great.
Overhailing gas fumes.
Overcome by fumes.
Got a fume situation.
I've done that before.
I've gotten some gas on myself.
My first El Camino of the two El Caminos that I owned
was not very good at making the thing click off.
I don't know.
Whatever thing it is that makes the thing click off,
it didn't work that well.
And once in a while, you just get some sort of spilling out the side.
Some spillage.
Kind of have to keep an eye on it.
But if you're driving an El Camino,
aren't you supposed to have a little gas on you?
Doesn't that go with the El Camino mystique?
Hey, absolutely. Smelling a little bit like gas. There are two essentials to driving an El Camino, aren't you supposed to have a little gas on you? Doesn't that go with the El Camino mystique? Hey, absolutely.
Smelling a little bit like gas.
There are two essentials to driving an El Camino.
One of them is a little bit of gas fumes.
The other one is a little bit of DJ Quick.
Hey, Jordan, Jesse Go.
This is Jeff from Erie.
Just calling with a momentous occasion.
This Wednesday, it was announced that they're putting pot legalization
on the California ballot.
Hey, we listened to this.
Maybe this CD isn't working as well as I thought it was.
Oh, look at that.
Number one, do you think this is going to be the pot legalization thing again?
Probably.
I think it just is.
Well, that's our calls for this week.
Yay!
Jeff just got high and called twice.
I've said the exact same thing.
I guess I'm just completely out of operating a CD player practice.
Not a lot of operating a CD player in my daily life anymore.
You're doing all HD DVDs.
Actually, I'm using Laserdiscs.
Oh, that's good.
My father-in-law actually still owns like about 300 LaserDiscs.
I see LaserDiscs at the thrift store sometimes.
And I think maybe I should just get a LaserDisc player and have LaserDiscs.
But then I'm like, no, I shouldn't do that.
Isn't there some sort of culture around those are better than other things?
Because a LaserDisc is an analog technology.
People think that it's a digital technology,
but it's actually an analog technology.
The laser is used to read actual physical bumps
and valleys like a record player stylist
would read a record.
Whenever there's a culture that pops up around,
say, vinyl about how some antiquated technology is actually better what that is is people who don't
want to get rid of this equipment that they've invested hundreds of maybe thousands of dollars
in that's all that is isn't there some sort of uh that is star wars laser disc that has like a
commentary track you can't get anywhere else or something yeah i think so i think there are some
like there were there are like some criterion like, there are, like, some Criterion Collection
laser discs,
or it's like some movie
you can only get on laser disc.
It's got the Christmas special
on it that George Lucas does.
Yeah, right.
It's the Star Wars Christmas special.
Personally, I...
I'd like to hear from
the laser disc aficionado
if there's one out there.
Get Chris McNeil on the phone.
206-984-4FUN.
Who's Chris McNeil?
He's my father-in-law.
Oh.
He sounds great.
Shout out to Chris.
What up, C-Mac? He's definitely not a C-law. Oh. He sounds great. Shout out to Chris. What up, C-Mac?
He's definitely not a C-Mac.
You call him C-Mac?
No.
Have you ever called him C-Mac?
He's very much not a C-Mac.
He's a Chris McNeil.
And he's a Laserdisc enthusiast.
Well, he's not as enthusiastic about them anymore.
He's moved on to the DVDs, but he still has them.
You know, here's the thing that still exists that I'm so not on board with.
DVD enthusiast.
What do you mean?
You can just get them from Netflix and send them back.
Yeah, you can just get them from Netflix.
Oh, like owning a bunch of DVDs.
I don't get it.
Any DVD you want.
It's no problem.
It's easy enough.
Yeah, even with Netflix, I recently got into this habit of, you know, we would get a movie and we wouldn't get around to watching it and I would hold
on to it. You can always have it back in two days. Why am I holding on
to this movie? Get it out of here and then we'll watch Yo Soy Cubano
in a couple of months. I've been watching via
Netflix the last season of
Seinfeld.
And Seinfeld wasn't, I wasn't like familiar with the, you know, seasonality of Seinfeld.
I only started watching it in like syndication, you know, like post-college even.
It wasn't something I appreciated.
And then someone...
Really?
I would have thought with the urban Jewish milieu that you grew up in.
Sure, I know.
Mission Viejo, California.
The Lower East Side of Orange County.
All over the kvetching.
Yeah.
And I guess I was under the impression that,
oh, season nine is the worst season of Seinfeld.
That's kind of what everybody agrees upon.
I knew this, and then someone said to me,
hey, I'm watching that ninth season of Seinfeld.
Not that bad.
You should check it out.
So I Netflixed it.
I'm like, holy shit.
These are my favorite Seinfeld episodes.
I have bad taste in Seinfeld.
You do.
Here's the thing.
Have you seen all of the other seasons, though?
No.
I did watch.
I have watched.
My old roommate had a bunch of Seinfeld DVDs, which I partook in.
Frankly, I'm not surprised that you have bad taste in Seinfeld, because you are wrong.
I mean, I'm not going to defend your...
Your opinion is no longer.
Sure, it's incorrect.
I mean, I'm not saying that the last season of Seinfeld isn't good.
Sure.
The last season of Seinfeld is good.
It's just not good relative to the other seasons
of Seinfeld. Well, I've been watching Seinfeld actually from the very beginning. I mean, I'm in
season six or something like that. And you really like the tone really shifts even before Larry
David leaves, but especially after Larry David leaves. And what what happens is basically it stops being about sort of like the banalities of everyday life and starts being about –
How can we tie eight crazy things together?
Yeah, exactly.
It starts being about a book, a book, a book!
Just everything is just about a silly nonsense word and them repeating it in a funny cadence.
Nonsense word and them repeating it in a funny cadence. It's also impossible to do a show that long and not just become sort of self-referential or an episode that is in and of itself very funny and clever, but it's so similar to eight other episodes that they've already done.
Yeah.
It's hard. Specific example of that is just the one I was watching a couple of days ago was, you know, Elaine and Jerry are sitting in the diner and have this very, like, very Seinfeld-esque setup conversation.
Oh, and she's like, have you seen this new girl that George is dating?
She looks kind of like you.
So the premise is that George is dating a girl
who looks like Jerry.
Jerry says, she looks like me, really?
And Lane just goes, I don't know, I don't care.
Which I thought was kind of funny.
One thing that I've been reminded of
in watching Seinfeld
is that Julia Louis-Dreyfus
and Michael Richards
and Jason Alexander are really good on Seinfeld.
They're incredible.
They are really, really good.
And you know what?
I really like Jerry too,
but I wouldn't necessarily call him good at what he's doing.
He's playing himself, you know.
It's nice because he sort of like he sort of like
brings the spirit of like hey let's all have some fun out there you know and uh but but the three
the three other primary cast members you're just like yeah yeah shit they know what the fuck they're
doing they are good well it's to me it's the it's the best example I've ever seen of you watch the first few episodes
of Seinfeld and it's that thing of
it's pretty good. There's something here.
But at that moment, there's a moment when the writers
understand how to write for those guys
and those guys understand what those characters
are supposed to be. And from that point on,
it just becomes incredible. Every little
thing they do is incredible.
Seinfeld. It's wonderful. We'll be back in just a second
on Jordan, Jesse.
Oh, hey, Jordan.
What?
Do you mind if I call you Gordon?
I do, so don't.
Call me by my actual name, please.
Gordon is almost your actual name.
It's not, though.
I was just wondering if I could get a special dispense.
Because we've been friends for like 10 years.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm going to really have to insist that you call me by my name and not another name well it's i'm sorry i mean i know i'm sounding
like a dick on this i know i'm coming off it's commissioner gordon's real name he knows batman
yeah so call him that well he's not real well i i didn't call no one that can i call you that nick
you can call me gordon sure okay come on Come on, dude. Don't make me laugh.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go with our friend Gordon Adams.
It's Jordan Jesse Go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Nick, repeat Adams.
Nick, always great to have you here. Always great to be here.
Nick Adams, of course, the author of Making Friends with Black People.
Not How to Make Friends with Black People.
No, that's a whole other thing.
That's a different book.
That's a ridiculous idea for a book.
Active, because you're an active man with an active mind and an active wit.
And an active lifestyle.
Semi-active in all those fronts.
Yeah.
Semi-active.
Jordan?
Yeah?
Let's one more time remind people about the maximum fund drive here.
Why not?
Look, we don't ask for much.
Sure.
We give you a lot.
We give you a lot of ourselves.
I literally, I'll give you a blood transfusion.
We have the same blood type.
I'll give you a blood transfusion.
You need a liver?
I got you on that. But you have to get me. You have to same blood type. I'll give you a blood transfusion. You need a liver? I got you on that.
But you have to get me.
You have to have my back.
You don't think I would do that?
Kidney.
Kidney?
That's about as high as you'll go, though.
Wait, do you only have one liver?
Yeah.
Yeah, I probably won't give up my liver then.
Kidney's the one that you got two of?
Maybe you can give a piece of your liver.
Really?
Yeah, I think so.
What about a spleen?
Wait. Isn't that where you got two of? I think you can give a piece of your liver. Really? Yeah, I think so. What about a spleen? Spleen is...
Wait.
Isn't that where you keep your bile?
You don't need a spleen, technically, I don't think.
You're thinking of an appendix.
No, I think you can live without a spleen.
Listen.
I had a teacher in high school who I think had his spleen removed, but he said it made
him more susceptible to germs.
I don't know if Mr. Kali was lying.
Okay, there's two things we need.
We need a call from a
spleen expert and a laser disc
enthusiast. 206-984-4
find the number to call. What happened to that
girl with the cute Chicago
accent that was our medical correspondent?
Oh, I don't know. If she could please give us
a telephone call. I think she's a medical correspondent on
Comedy Death Ray.
So, you know.
And, you know, if you're out there, if you're not already a donor,
MaximumFun.org slash donate.
Your donations are what fuel the rocket ship of enjoyment that is our program.
We're shooting for 1,000 new donors during the pledge drive.
1,000 new donors.
I think we're going to make it.
I think we're going to do it, Jordan.
I think we are, too.
Is there anything I can do other than create winning catchphrases?
Well, we could probably use another winning catchphrase.
Get off your duff is, of course, the first one.
Sure.
But besides that, I don't know.
What else might there be?
It's aces.
Great. Maximumfund.org slash donate. It's aces great maximumfund.org slash donate it's aces get off your duff did that work i like that a lot it's coming that worked right i feel like i want to paypal you some
money now it's coming thank you it's it's not someone else's responsibility you can use the
paypal but you you don't need a paypal account You can also do it with a credit card, I think. That's great.
It's not someone else's responsibility.
It is your responsibility.
If you want media to be independent and with no baloney like our program is,
then all we ask is that you give a little bit.
A little bit, sure.
$10 a month.
$10 a month.
Why not?
If you don't, I'm going to have to get some sort of sponsorship,
which I'll have to annoyingly mention every five minutes. You can find $10 a month every month.
Sure.
Well, you're already with the Where's the Beef people, right?
Yeah.
Or Denny's.
Keep me out of Wendy's' pocket.
Wendy's.
No, you're thinking of, I love Lenny's.
It's Denny's.
Oh, right.
Sure.
I do love Lenny's. Yeah. It's Denny's. Oh, right. Sure. I do love Lenny's.
Yeah.
It's Denny's.
Lenny's.
Oh, sorry.
Maximumfun.org slash donate.
If you've got a call, thoughts for us, moments, occasion, et cetera, 206-984-4FUN, the number to call.
And don't forget to tune in Friday, May 28th from 4 p.m. Pacific to midnight Pacific.
We will be live streaming
from Meltdown Comics
in Hollywood, California.
There's going to be
all kinds of exciting,
awesome stuff going on.
And we're hopefully
going to be hitting
our goal of 1,000 new donors
for the Max Fund Drive 2010.
You know, Jordan,
did you know that we started
The Sound of Young America
10 years ago?
I didn't know that. It's the 10th anniversary of The Sound of Young America. That's what we're celebrating in 2010. You know, Jordan, did you know that we started The Sound of Young America 10 years ago? I didn't know that.
It's the 10th anniversary
of The Sound of Young America.
That's what we're celebrating
in 2010.
Bravo.
10 years of hard work,
and all you guys got to do
is get up off your duff.
Get up off your duff?
Get off your duff.
Get off your duff, aces.
Is that right?
Eh, you can combine the word.
I mean, you're buying it
for $16,
so you can rearrange the words.
You can do whatever you want to do with it.
I don't get a break on the second one?
No, sorry.
He's got over it.
You got change for a $20?
I did it for Cato Kaelin.
You got change for a $20?
No, I don't have change for a $20.
You're going to have to give me the entire $20.
Change for $30?
I do, yes.
Okay.
Maximumfund.org slash donate.