Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 245: Ultimate Drumming Technique with Brent Weinbach
Episode Date: October 15, 2012Brent Weinbach sits down with Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of smells, funny names, Turkish Delights, and Jordan watches Brent's new internet video. ...
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Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free.
Unto the locks and throw away the keys, and take off your shoes and sex and run you.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective.
And this is...
Jordan, Jesse, Go!
Bicycles, tricycles, ice cream, candy, lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks,
Salmon, friendly, maggoty, yanky, twiddle, Jesse, go.
We're joined by the hilarious Brent Weinbach.
And we spend literally 15, 20 minutes talking about a video that I'm not even sure you should look at.
I'm very ambivalent about this.
Deeply ambivalent.
It's fun.
Let's go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorneent about this, deeply ambivalent. It's fun. Let's go.
It's Jordan Jesse Go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Over 500 degrees inside the recording box here at MaxFunWorld headquarters.
Outside the recording box, over 600 degrees.
During the course of this podcast, we will transform from solids to liquids into a gas.
Holy mackerel.
We will end the show to liquids into a gas. Holy mackerel.
We will end the show as vapors.
Yeah.
Jesse, can I ask you for some straight talk?
Yeah, sure.
Absolutely.
Do I smell?
In general or right now?
Right now, particularly.
You do smell sometimes.
Yeah.
But not consistently.
And I did not notice that you smell right now.
I feel like I smell.
Well, we went and we visited.
Let's introduce our guest.
Sure.
And we'll get into whether you smell or not.
Our guest is a brilliant stand-up comedian, one of my favorite stand-up comedians in the world, I would say.
favorite stand-up comedians in the world, I would say.
And he is also the co-host of the Legacy Music Hour, the podcast about video game music from – legacy music, that means outmoded video game systems.
8 and 16-bit, specifically, right?
My name is Brent Weinbach.
I was getting there.
I was getting there.
No, no, no.
That's fine.
I was – I wanted to –
We were asking you for clarification, and I think at that point you should be introduced.
Right.
When we need you for information.
Well, the truth is, is that the first thing I wanted to say was what you guys said in the beginning, which was, you know, you said you were a boy detective and you said you were a sweetheart.
I wanted to give myself a title.
So I wanted the first thing to say –
You'll have another chance.
To say, my name is Brent Weinbach, you know, man boy or whatever or boy or boy man that's no i wouldn't choose that but you can
choose something america's boy that is too fraught the the choices that you're making are fraught for
grace okay right okay america's boy america's boy. What can I be? America's... Well, think about it.
Yeah, you've got time.
Let's deal with Jordan's...
And whether or not I smell.
Sweet tooth.
Okay.
So, I don't think you smell.
Right now.
Yeah.
Sometimes...
Okay.
Or ever.
I've never noticed.
For many years, you did not smell at all.
In recent years, you've taken up a lot of coffee drinking.
Yes.
And sometimes you have a sort of coffee sweat smell.
Yeah, sure.
Again, and I want to be clear, it's not all the time.
You're not a stinky guy.
Sure.
But I should be mindful of that.
One in five times that you're here, I think, Jordan really smells weird.
Oh, that's like a coffee sweat smell.
Yes, I do.
This is really heavy.
I'm familiar with that, and I'm trying to head it off at the pass.
What's that smell like, coffee sweat?
It's a great smell.
Does it smell like buttocks?
It's butt-like.
It's an earthy smell.
But that's not the case today, or at least I So, but that's not the case today.
Or at least I did not notice that that is the case today.
I will say that on our way up here from the parking garage, we rode in the stinkiest elevator that I have personally ridden in since I was in college.
And you don't think I contributed to that?
I made a joke.
You don't think it was because I was in the elevator?
I was first into the elevator and I smelt it immediately.
Okay.
I would say...
Well, I mean...
If anyone...
Well, if you're the one who smelt it...
I was about to say...
Were you, in fact, the one who dealt it?
I would say...
Look, we went to the University of California at Santa Cruz.
Jordan and I did.
I've seen you there a couple times.
Brent did indeed.
He performed a couple of stand-up comedy shows there with us.
But I would say that that is the stinkiest elevator place that I'm familiar with.
I think, yeah, the stink is like it is a legacy stink.
You know, like the stink has been there.
It's 8-bit and 16-bit.
It's an 8-bit and 16-bit stink.
Yeah, like that's right.
That smell was caused like while complaining about Reagan.
There is – I mean it is a particular combination.
And to be fair, they are still complaining about Reagan.
It is a particular combination of BO, stale cigarette smoke and bong water that hangs – and just enough urine.
A little urine.
That hangs in the air of the elevators of UC Santa Cruz.
This elevator, I had forgotten that experience.
And stairwells.
I will also add that it hangs out in stairwells.
I had forgotten that experience until I got into this elevator and I, for a moment, thought that I was in a library or a residence hall at UC Santa Cruz.
Reliving your youth.
Because of that stink, that pot stink, and not an active pot stink.
A stale pot stink.
Some people like the smell of pot.
I will say that I don't.
I don't like a lot of strong smells because they remind me of getting a headache.
But I don't like the smell of active pot particularly.
But it's not the grossest smell ever.
However, stale pots, like a secondhand pot smell, like the classic spilt bong water, is the single grossest.
It is grosser than the smell of cock-a-doodie to me.
Whoever spilt it, dilt it.
Filt it.
Filt it.
You're the one who filts.
You filth the bong only to have spilt it.
And that is the kind of smell that we had in the elevator there.
the kind of smell that we had in the elevator there.
So if you're worried about smell, I would blame it on that elevator because you've got that elevator's stank was so powerful.
It was such a ripe aroma of butt sweat and bong water.
I got to be honest.
I didn't really notice the smell that much.
I noticed a marijuana smell, but I'm really big on smells too. I mean, I notice the smell that much. I noticed a marijuana smell. But I'm really big on smells, too.
I mean, I'm the smell guy.
If you want to know about smells, I'm the guy.
Do they call you the nose?
They call me America's nose.
Yeah.
Nose boy.
Yeah, sure.
America's nose boy.
And I'm on...
Again, adding the boy makes it seem weird.
When you say America's nose.
America's nose, yes.
America's nose boy.
I don't know what's going on.
What about America's boy nose?
Yeah.
It still sounds like something you have to illegally get from Eastern Europe.
Fine.
What about this?
I own – I'm America's main person who owns noses that were previously owned by boys.
No, that's –
Boys' noses.
See, what I like about that is it's catchy.
Okay.
Yeah, right.
It's memorable. Yeah, go, right. It's memorable.
Yeah, go with that.
It's easy to say.
It takes down the creep factor, but it also adds a kind of a lilting –
Sophistication.
It rolls off the tongue.
Yeah, and there's also sort of a referential sort of intellectual air about it too.
I feel like if you – like an opera singer would say that to warm up because there's just so many delightful consonants in there.
So I'm big on noses.
Yeah.
No, but smells.
And I didn't notice it as much, to be honest.
I didn't notice the butt, actually, to be honest.
And I'm very big on butt smell.
That's interesting to me.
As some people might know.
That's interesting to me because I found it.
Now, I will say.
And by big on it, I don't mean I'm into it.
I mean I notice it and I avoid it.
I have become very smell sensitive.
Something that I realized when my neighbors, my downstairs neighbors, one of their brother is living with them for a couple of weeks leading up to their wedding.
My downstairs neighbors are the nicest people on earth.
You could not hope for better neighbors than my downstairs neighbors.
But their brother smokes and smokes right outside on their front porch, which is directly
underneath my front window.
And there's nowhere else for him to smoke.
So I can't tell him to please stop
he would have to go down
my house has a big set of steps in front of it
it would be a real fucking bitch
for him to actually go out on the street to smoke
but it seriously bothers me
I'm upset by it
I believe it, yeah, sure
here's my question for you, Jordan
what led you to your concern because a man cannot know his own stink.
Right.
So why were you concerned?
You need a third party.
You need a verification system.
Yeah.
I mean I just – I've been talking about the impending bachelor party for a few weeks on the show. I came directly from that.
So I feel like I already have that kind of boozy kind of butt smell.
I feel like I've got that going on.
And then it was in San Diego, so I got dropped off here.
I got driven back.
You also smell like flip-flops.
Right, yeah.
Men's flip-flops.
The Chargers. You've got a powerful odor of polo shirts with popped collops. Right, yeah. Men's flip-flops. The Chargers.
You got a powerful odor of polo shirts with popped collars.
Right, yes.
Yeah, yeah.
You smell like –
I smell like cargo shorts.
Boy, they sure wore a lot of those toes – those shoes with the individual toes in San Diego.
Really?
In San Diego?
I would have pictured them being too conservative to wear the shoes with the individual toes.
But I guess it's sort of like a Colorado Springs where the outdoorsyness trumps the conservatism.
Yeah.
I guess I thought of it as like, yeah, like dot-com guy.
Yeah.
But apparently the bros have taken notice.
Wow.
Of the shoes with the toes.
Wow.
Anyway.
Our national nightmare continues unabated.
That had much more of a ring to it than the boy knows slogan.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Well, you know.
The bros are into toes.
We can workshop it.
Or something like that.
And I also rode back here in a car where I shared the backseat with a dog.
So I think just these things i feel like
there's a film on my skin i feel like i have all dogs smell gross yeah i will i say this because
i have two dogs i thought you were gonna say real quick not all dogs go to heaven
and that's why those are the ones that stink. Common misconception. There was a movie going around that people took a little too literally.
Yeah, sort of like Protocols of the Elders of Zion.
It's fiction.
It is not real.
Right.
It's purely fictional.
It's created by bigots.
Right.
So here's the thing.
I was going to say it's a fable.
I have two small dogs.
And frankly, they're both too small to stink up much of anything, but they do have smells.
Yeah.
One of my dogs smells sort of like freshly cooked popcorn, which she has such a pleasant odor.
Like, if you pick her up, Brian Fernandez is nodding because he's met my dogs.
One of my dogs genuinely smells kind of nice, which baffles me.
Sure.
Because I had assumed that all dogs smelled like dog.
Yeah.
But this dog smells kind of nice.
The other dog who – people have asked me if these two dogs are sisters.
They're not, but they look very similar.
The other dog smells kind of gross.
Again, she's too small to project the smell outward very far.
My dad had a dog
that was stanky.
Too small
to project the odor out, but if you get
up in there,
you're going to get a real sour
stink. If you're putting face to
dog tummy, if you're giving a little dog
raspberry. I think
this dog did not particularly smell either, but
just being in a hot car with her, I thought I would get some sort of hot mammal kind of waft coming off me.
So, yeah, I feel gross.
I feel grosser now than I have in a long time.
I mean, we could always do the ultimate test.
Yeah?
What's that?
I mean, Jordan could get off of his chair and you can smell his seat to see if it smells.
Then you know for sure if he's got it going on.
Is that the ultimate test?
Is that a well-known test?
Yeah.
Is that something that perfumers use?
It's what every person uses.
Here's what my concern about that, Brent.
And I agree that, yeah, that is – I mean, we could probably say definitively after that happened.
But, I mean, we're doing a fundraising drive coming up in a couple weeks.
Yeah, Max Funday.
And you're saying save that test for the fund drive.
Well, I was going to say that's one of the premiums.
Okay, right.
If someone gets to come in and sit on my seat.
Okay, yeah.
So, I mean, I wouldn't want Jesse to devalue that.
Yeah, yeah, right.
You're right.
Here's another concern.
Can I offer another concern about Brent's plan?
Look, this is the standard operating procedure. I won't deny that. Yeah, yeah, right. You're right. Here's another concern. Can I offer another concern about Brent's plan? Look, this is the standard operating procedure. I won't deny that. I see why Brent went
to this test. I will also add that I purchased the chairs in our studio at the St. Vincent de
Paul thrift store. They are, I believe them to be retired school chairs and they have a soft upholstery i call those soakers
the upholstery on it yeah and so there are generations of 15 year old boys just back
from gym class who have baked themselves into the orange upholstery on these chairs yeah well
you can relive their youth by smelling these chairs it does kind of have an early pube early
did you do okay now you're getting wine baki so this early pube talk let me ask you this
did you do anything notably stinky at the bachelor party i know that you were concerned
before we had discussed that you were concerned that you would be in a situation where a lot of other people were doing surprisingly hard drugs.
Yes.
Like did you – do you smell like the sweet smoke of crack cocaine, for example?
No.
Brent, for your benefit, kind of in the lead up to this bachelor party, I don't really know the other guys.
Like I know the groom, but the guys are like his buddies from high school.
Yeah.
know the other guys like i know the groom but the guys are like his buddies from high school and uh i think they all had kind of wild childhoods uh and now they're reformed well
and yeah and they were kind of like saying about how this party was going to be like a return to
that oh okay okay and they were going to kind of break out they lived in the sewers underneath the
gas lamp they were chud the theme. The theme is reliving youth.
That's the theme of this episode, I think.
Yeah.
Right?
You're really good at picking out the leitmotif.
So, yeah.
So there was a lot of talk about just how much extreme stuff they wanted to do.
Crunch time came.
This was a relatively tame affair.
Not a hard drug in sight.
Jordan, you were concerned.
And I know, you know, I know bro code.
You're not supposed to say what goes on at the bachelor party.
But I think I can say no hard drug.
I know that you were concerned about the hard drugs appearing because you're not a hard regular hard drug user.
I mean, will you go to an opium den?
Yes.
You know what I mean?
But it's just because I like Fu Manchu beards.
Exactly.
And that's the only place I can see them.
So how did – were you – but were you secretly kind of disappointed that no one was doing crack cocaine?
No, no, no.
I was.
And yeah, I kind of thought this was going to be a little bit of like, you know, a little bit of like tourism for me in a way.
It's like I have, you know, I have this in to this group of guys who I don't hang out with, who I may never hang out with again.
Like, yeah, I kind of wanted to just see, you know.
Yeah, I kind of had, you know, it was the idea was kind of fun to just watch something like that that I had never seen up close.
We should explain that this bachelor party in San Diego, you were friends with one of these guys.
This guy was friends with the other people.
The other people were the special teams unit for the San Diego Chargers.
So it's just not your social –
Thank you.
I'm sorry I left that out.
Yeah.
Not your – and I should be clear when I say that.
This is a return coverage team.
There's no kickers.
Sure.
There's no fucking kickers.
You're not going to go to a kicker party.
No, I'm not.
I usually hang out with the Seattle Seahawks.
I got to clear.
I have a question though.
So this was, yes, please.
Now you, this is related to the smells that you're concerned about.
You started this party on Friday and it's now Sunday.
Yes.
And you just, and so it was a week-long party.
Yeah.
Brideshow party.
Did you take a shower or bathe during that time?
I had a shower on Saturday morning.
This is Sunday afternoon.
This is now Sunday afternoon.
That was my last shower.
Probably should have showered this morning.
Right.
It was in some guy's house, so I felt weird.
Mm-hmm.
I wanted to, and I thought we were leaving a little sooner than we were, and I thought
I would have a chance to shower at my house.
That was not the case.
Would you bring a towel?
I did bring a towel.
I was going to, that was my next question.
Exactly.
We are of one mind.
You know what I recommend, Jordan?
Guys, start saying things at the same time.
That'll be adorable.
Jordan, I'll tell you, I'll give you a good idea here.
Yeah.
When you're traveling, bring one of those chamois cloths.
Chamois cloths.
See, Brett, we are.
This is uncanny.
We are amazing.
Like one of those super chamois.
I feel like I'm watching the two-headed girl on TLC.
You can get them.
You know.
You can get them at the auto parts store.
Auto parts, yeah.
It's a great way to save money.
Are you sure you guys didn't plan this out before?
Laundry.
Laundry.
Car.
Detergent.
Detergent, yeah. At the end of the day, I learned this information from European travel expert Rick Steves.
Wait, was it Rick Dees or Expedia.com?
Where do I go for this information because I'm not writing it down?
So what?
If you're not going to do any hard drugs, what's the point of partying for 48 hours straight?
I don't know.
We had a nice time.
Right.
I got along with everybody.
Did you not get along with anybody?
Or do you not want to say it?
No, actually, I think I would feel okay about saying it.
I mean, are these guys going to listen to this podcast?
I don't think so.
But if they are, we had a delightful time.
We had a nice time.
Who did you – you didn't get along with – you couldn't connect to some of them though, right?
I mean some connections were stronger than others.
Who was the cutest?
Sergio.
You should see this guy.
You should see the dimples.
The fucking dimples.
You should see the toes on this guy.
Yeah. But I think here's something – here's I think a good way to kind of sum up how it actually went versus the kind of talk leading up to it.
Someone instigated a rule that every time someone's wife texted, you had to drink.
So I think this was – I think these guys just couldn't now have completely different lives where their husbands and fathers and, you know, have to be home at a certain hour.
So I think that they, you know, so that they never really they couldn't find it in themselves to go whole hog.
OK, I have a question for you.
Yes.
Do you ever have the experience where you're thinking about people that you went to high school with, for example, and then you're realizing that they're now adults who are doing adult things in the world,
and it blows your fucking mind.
A little bit, yes.
Not because you're like, oh, I'm so old now, but just it's hard to picture that person
being a functional member of society.
Right, yeah.
And you can get away with that in high school.
Sure, like someone you saw cry in chem lab.
Yeah.
Now may have a child.
Someone who would put on their pants upside down or something.
Sure.
That's not possible.
You went to high school with Chris Cross.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
Me and Brent are best friends.
Now we're on the same page here.
Now I'm connecting more with Jordan.
With Jordan.
You know, when it came to that reference, I missed the bus, but I'll never, ever, ever,
ever do it again.
Guys, let's reset and have a spray.
You know what's crazy, though?
I knew this girl who was 10 years younger than me.
Than me.
We shouldn't.
Yeah, we both knew the same girl.
And she didn't know who Chris Cross was.
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah.
Some people miss that completely.
Hey, yo, Chris.
What's that in your hand?
It's the S-P-R-I-T-E can.
It's a lifesaver that you can thirst quench in like a kiss with a lime and twist.
Now, you know that's kicking.
That you can never miss, I think, is in there.
Oh, okay.
Oh, no, maybe not.
Word.
Drink up.
Drink up is what you got to do.
Why?
Guys, if somebody starts singing the Fresh Prince theme song, I am going to shit in this
box.
I like the Sprite in you.
Okay, right, right.
I like the Sprite in you.
So hot.
Can you verify I'm literally soaked with sweat here?
It is hot in here, but I like the heat.
I have a high tolerance for it.
Does it keep you loose?
It keeps me straight. Oh. You're afraid you'll go gay. tolerance for it. Does it keep you loose? It keeps me straight.
Oh.
You're afraid you'll go gay.
Straight and loose.
If you get too cold.
It keeps me straight.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I mean, because, I mean, look at what are the most gay nations in the world?
Because once I started getting cold, I started-
Greenland.
Iceland.
Yeah.
Right.
All of the Nordic countries.
French Canada.
Russia.
Antarctica.
Those are some Boston-
The researchers that live on Antarctica, they're all gay.
Sucking dicks.
Yeah. That's why no research gets done. That's that live on Antarctica, they're all gay. Oh, sucking dicks. Yeah.
That's why no research gets done.
That's all they do.
Because you get up there.
When was the last time you heard about –
Actually, that's the research they're doing is they research sucking penises.
Right.
That's like they want to know more about that.
Yeah.
Ball tickling at temperatures below X.
Yeah, yeah.
They're trying to get boners at below zero temperatures.
Right.
I mean, is it a coincidence that the gayest bird is the penguin?
I don't think so.
He's all flopping around.
He's all flip-flopping.
He's sucking other penguins' dicks.
Yeah, he's all, yeah, belating other penguins.
Going to see Cher.
Okay, here's a quick thing real quick.
That would be funny.
A bunch of penguins went to see Cher.
There's a quick thing.
In junior high, there was a kid who, I'm not going to say he was gay, but he seemed quite alive.
And he was lab partners with somebody else.
That doesn't matter.
That's totally irrelevant.
But he spilled a thermometer liquid on him once.
Oh, mercury?
It wasn't mercury.
It was just alcohol.
But he wasn't sure at first.
Yeah, yeah.
And the teacher said,
oh, don't worry.
It's just,
well, first he said this.
He went,
it's all over me.
He said it just like that,
and I thought it was funny.
And then the teacher assured him,
oh, don't worry.
It's not mercury.
It's just alcohol.
And he said,
Deepu, that was his lab partner.
That's why I brought up the lab partner.
I wasn't going to say his name at first, but his lab partner's name was Deepu.
And he said, and Deepu, the name itself, that sounds funny, but he said,
Deepu, the alcohol's freezing.
And so I thought that was funny also.
That stuck with me forever.
And you talking about gays in freezing cold temperatures made me think of that line in my life. This colorful gentleman.
And again, I'm reliving my youth when I tell that story.
Yeah.
So are you – can you imagine that person as a productive member of adult – can you imagine Brentinbach as a productive member of adult society right
exactly well you know the truth is is that guy grew grew up to be a prominent uh choreographer
and um dancer good for him and he's doing really well i would hate to be a dancer i'll tell you
this number one i'm too graceful i don't want to embarrass the other dancers. The other reason.
Or swans.
Yes.
You feel like swans give you shitty looks.
Yeah, that's true.
That's how graceful you are.
The real reason that I wouldn't want to be a dancer is the same reason I wouldn't want to be an athlete.
As I grow older, now that I'm 31 years old, 31 years young, as I like to say.
That's fun.
I have become really aware that if I were an athlete, now the whole reason that I had lived my entire life would be basically falling apart.
And there are dancers that, you know, Baryshnikov still dancing.
He's 65 or whatever.
I get that, right?
But generally speaking, your body just breaks down if you're a dancer when you're like 30.
You're done.
And that was all you did with your entire life.
That was like your whole – in order to get good enough at dancing to actually be a dancer, I mean that's like – it's like trying to get and making it to the major leagues.
Like there's a very small group of people.
There's a lot of people, a lot of people on the input, a lot of four-year-olds in ballerina class.
Yeah.
There's only a couple of dancers when they're grown up.
So you got to be real committed.
But I mean, you know, you coast off your dance royalties.
And also, then again, you know, some people are, you know, forever young, you know. Right. I mean, some people don't seem to age, then again, some people are forever young.
I mean, some people don't seem to age, like Isabella Gianni.
I'm sure she could still dance.
Mel Gibson.
Mel Gibson.
I was going to say, I was going to say.
Forever young, yeah.
Honestly, Jesse, that was going to be the next joke I was going to make.
I was going to say Isabella Gianni, who really does look like she's young forever, and then I was going to say Mel Gibson, I swear.
Me and Weinbach are on the same page here.
Yeah, I'm back on this side now. Jordan, just go home. Me and Weinbach can take it from here. I seriously was about to say Mel Gibson, I swear. Me and Weinbach are on the same page here. Yeah, I'm back on this side now.
Jordan, just go home.
Me and Weinbach can take it from here.
I seriously was about to say Mel Gibson.
That was right what I was getting to.
Well, I apologize.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm glad you took it because it proved that we're on the same wavelength.
And you know what, Brent?
I love you.
Thanks.
We'll be back in just a second.
Jordan, Jesse, go.
It's Jordan, Jesse, go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Brent Weinbach knows boys.
Knows boys named Debo.
Debo. We had a little Debo talk during the break oh man nothing there's nothing more fun than a little deepu talk yeah well deep was a great subject
man it's really really fun brett by the way has a new stand-up comedy cd oh yes thank you for
which is called almost totally live mostly live Live. Mostly Live. Mostly Live. There you go. Mostly Live, Brent Weinbach.
I'm telling you, if you get a chance to see Brent Weinbach, it is a singular experience that you will never forget.
One of the funniest guys in stand-up comedy and also one of the most distinctive.
Thank you.
Thank you for saying that.
And if you don't leave the house ever or you don't want to, buy this album.
It's the closest to a live show you can get right now.
You won't get the considerate
of shut-ins.
You've always been considerate of shut-ins, though.
Well, sure.
Shut-in and shut-out.
Shut-ins are often shut-out
of cultural experiences.
You guys want to do
listener mail? Sure. Why don't we?
I've got the... Oh, let me reach into the
mailbag. Oh, sure. I've got the, oh, let me reach into the mailbag.
Sure.
Oh, here, one postcard.
We got a very nice postcard from Julia Halprin Jackson, and she said that she's a Max Fund donor, which is great.
Yep.
She has been transformed by our show into a comedy fan.
That's good. That's good.
That's nice.
She learned from our show that if you look outside the world of podcasts, there is comedy that's worth supporting.
Such as Mostly Live by Brent Weinbach, available on iTunes and physical copies, too.
That was a little tacky, Brent.
Well, it's a shut-in.
Right.
It's for shut-ins.
It's for shut-ins. It's for shut-ins.
It's for shut-ins.
Right.
And number three, there is a Dr. Dong, his real name, at the school where she works.
That's great.
That was a nice piece of mail, and there's an adorable skunk on the card that I think Julia drew herself.
Would you say, this is a Dong question.
Please.
I'm your man.
I mean, I'm not a doctor in it, but.
I'm a man, not a doctor.
Which is better, Julia's Dr. Dong or downtown San Francisco's Bong building?
I like the Bong building.
Right.
And there's doctors there.
I believe it is a professional services building.
I mean, I think we can also – there's maybe something else to consider.
Okay.
I mean, on the way over here on Wilshire, I always pass Young Dong Restaurant.
Young – are you familiar with Young Dong Restaurant?
Is this a three-way horse race between Dr. Dong, the Bong building, and Young Dong Restaurant?
Let me ask you this have you considered the restaurant
not far from young dong restaurant with the sign in the window that promises steamed dumpings
that has been up for at least five years really wow it is not a temporary sign okay that reminds
me of two things okay number one this will add to the race, too. Well, one, my friend Alex Cole, who you guys know, right?
He used to have a jacket.
San Francisco comedian and air guitar champion.
That's right.
He used to have a jacket, a leather jacket that said Dr. Dick on the back of it.
He found it somewhere.
And he threw it away at one point.
He was cleaning his apartment out or moving.
I think he moved and he decided, I don't need this anymore.
And I said, what?
I'll keep it for you.
Give it to me.
I think he threw it out.
Dr. Dick.
It was the jacket.
I just feel like that's a real waste.
A real waste.
And it's especially bittersweet to those of us who only have, say, a master's degree in Dick.
Right.
I mean, I'm stripping to put myself through Dick grad school.
To be fair, I think the original owner of that jacket was more of a doctor of divinity from Universal Life Church.
So it was more just like he paid for it, the Dr. Dick title, which, you know, I mean, it's not as prestigious as, say, an MD or whatever.
Would you say that it's one of those things like Dr. William Cosby where, sure, like the
Cosby kids is his dissertation for his doctorate in education, but you're kind of like, yeah,
but Temple is just giving you that because you're Bill Cosby. Was it like that, but for
Alex Cole and with regard to his Air Cadar champion status?
Sure.
Let's say, yeah, the Cosby kids.
It was his Air Cadar teachings to the Cosby kids, particularly Rudy.
He was national Air Cadar champion.
Am I remembering that correctly?
I think just regional, and then he was third place national, I think.
Yeah, I'm not sure, though.
The other thing was that there's a restaurant I went to.
I think it's in – well, I didn't go to it.
I saw it.
And I think it's in Sunnyvale, California.
And it's a pho restaurant.
Okay.
I've eaten pho in Sunnyvale, California.
My friend Matt Dobbs, original co-host of The Sound of Young America for the first episode, was from Sunnyvale, California, along with his wife, Jesusa.
We used to go over the hill from Santa Cruz to Sunnyvale to eat pho there.
I hope it was at the Pho King restaurant.
I think it was at the Pho King restaurant.
Really?
Have you been there?
Yeah.
That's a real thing.
It really says that, and it's not a joke.
I mean, it's not trying to be funny, I don't think.
We bought in a stationery store there a huge supply of stationery.
In fact, I still have some that featured a character named Happy Bear Man.
And Happy Bear Man's slogan was, Happy Bear Man, we are nice.
We like Stora Berry.
And in fact, my college roommate, he painted a series of paintings.
My college roommate, he painted a series of paintings.
He was a very gifted artist.
A series of paintings depicting Happy Bear Man's descent into heroin addiction.
But it also featured a lot of storabberries.
Yeah.
I mean, I have seen pho restaurants with puns in the name.
So I guess it's not beyond. No, this is not a pun.
This is sincere.
It's just because you could tell
by the kind of restaurant it was, it was too foreign
to understand. There's Great Phu
by the way in Sunnyvale. If you're looking
for Great Phu, Sunnyvale, California
is a great place to go. Yeah, it wasn't a pun
but maybe it was a
fun.
I mean, it was fun to hear about.
So, okay. So, where are we
at this point? Who's better?
Dr. Dong.
Dr. Dick.
Dr. Dick.
Young Dong Restaurant.
Former St. Louis Cardinal Second Basement Stubby Clap.
Yeah.
Is that another competition, though?
Former Giants pitching coach Dick Pohl.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, real quick, speaking of Alex Cole, his dad's name is Richard.
His dad's name is Dick Hole. Oh, real quick, speaking of Alex Cole, his dad's name is Richard. His dad's name is Dick Cole.
Oh, guys. There's too many contestants in this race.
I'm going to go – well, look, the Bong building has long roots, deep roots in my heart.
I have had to go to dentist appointments there. So I'm going to go with the bong building but dr dong i mean that sounds cool
like that's like a guy in a in a cool like uh bluesy 70s rock band he maybe plays the guitar
on his lap i can't make a choice on this i think they're all great but i do want to say one more
thing when i used to substitute teach in berkeley there was a girl who was Thai in the class, and it was like an ESL class.
And her name was Kitty Porn.
No joke.
Oh, that wins.
Jesse, do we have some more viewer mail?
We do.
Dear Jordan, Jesse, go.
While back on the show, you looked up a description of the confection Turkish delight, which you thought sounded pretty awful.
True.
True on all counts.
Yeah.
And I think the reason we looked it up for your benefit, Brent,
was because it was all that we knew about it was that it was a little brown square,
which also, I mean, that's also like it basically could have been, you know,
a late 19th century East Asian drug like hashish or something like that.
And also you don't like Turkish people.
Yeah, we do not like the Turks.
Well, they're duplicitous.
We're Armenians, so we do not like the Turks.
Right, right.
I don't want to be one of your listeners who nitpicks you on details.
However.
Now I will do that.
Yeah.
It's nice that they handwrote this too
Because usually someone just tweets us that we were wrong
So I like that some TLC was put into this
By the way, thanks to the literally dozens of people
Who let me know that Jim Tomei is off the disabled list
And once again playing for the Baltimore Orioles
But at the same time
I live about 10 minutes away from Liberty Orchards,
a company which produces an Americanized version of Turkish Delights. So it is a matter of local
pride that I, it is as a matter of local pride that I send you some applets and cotlets so you
can know that Turkish
Delight isn't all bad
Thank you all for the entertainment you provide sincerely
Cameron McKenzie
I love Turkish Delight
You know what I think about anyone correcting me?
Wow
That's the sound of me
Crumpling and throwing it away
But we do have these
A bold stance
These really are Applets and Kotlets crumpling and throwing it away. But we do have these. A bold stand. It's the sound of young America.
These really are applets and cotlets and some fruit delights.
She sent us these boxes.
These are like full-on gift boxes.
These are serious.
This is like something you would get as a holiday gift from your boss in the mid-70s.
Yeah, it does seem like it is from the same store that sells popcorn tin.
Yeah, well, I think there's only one choice.
I don't think you should do it right now.
We have to get, why not?
Because it's going to be messy.
There's a lot of powdered sugar and stuff on it.
Well, we got to do what we got to do.
Yeah, Brent, I'm covered in filth now.
Oh, that's true, yeah.
I mean, what's a little more powdered sugar?
That's true.
I guess for you it's all right.
I mean, I like Turkish Delights a lot, but I'm not going to touch that right now.
Me personally.
Well, I mean, you're a man who cares about his food hygiene.
We're not.
You know, we're disgusting.
Oh, yeah. I eat off the floor.
Not only are we, you know, on the same wavelength, but we're kind of wearing similar outfits right now, too.
We are.
Brent and I are wearing white sneakers, jeans, and white T-shirts right now.
Okay. So, Jordan, I'm going to give you applets and cotlets.
Okay, I'll have an applet.
Are there two kinds of things in here?
There's applets and there's cotlets.
I think it's two different types of thing.
And I have fruit delights here.
These are really difficult to open.
It's like opening a Christmas present.
It is.
Jordan had a sense to take out his key.
I mean, a Victorian child's Christmas present, but yes.
Even better.
This is like Victorian cellophane wrap.
Is that what you're saying?
I'm saying yes.
So what is inside?
It's very sexually repressed.
Yours just has trademark applets and cotlets, right?
Yeah.
So I have one.
There doesn't seem to be any delineation in the box
over which is an applet and which is a coplet,
so I'm just going to take one.
They all kind of look the same to me.
Sorry, I know that's racist.
It looks like there's apricots in your cotlets, right?
Oh, maybe that, yeah.
Let's see.
Oh, no, here, this has a description.
There's a guide right there.
Oh, okay, it does.
The top half is applets and the bottom half is coplets,
so I have a coplet.
Our delicious, tangy apricot and walnut confection.
Okay.
So I will have a bite of this.
Oh, I guess the description, it's a mushy yellow square covered in powdered sugar.
It is what I thought a Turkish delight looked like.
Wait, wait.
Time out real quick.
Have you guys had a Turkish delight before?
No.
Oh, you guys are in for a treat.
Jordan's chewing that. real quick. Have you guys had a Turkish delight before? No. Oh, you guys are in for a treat. Jordan,
Jordan's chewing that. I just want to let
everyone who's listening know that
allergen information, our
macadamia confections include a
small amount of cashews.
So if you're concerned about
cashew sensitivity.
I mean, or cashew purity, it sounds like
is more of the issue. Jordan, this
isn't some eugenics thing.
Sorry, I'm racist.
You turn everything into a eugenics thing.
I'm sorry, but it's what I'm passionate about.
The purity of the racist.
Yes.
Now, let me measure the bumps on your skulls.
What do you think, Jordan?
Yeah, it's pretty good.
It's not my suite of choice.
I mean, I prefer a chocolate.
You're just being racist right now.
No, you're right.
And they're lazy.
I'm sorry.
These candies are lazy.
Wait, time out.
You're more of a chocolate guy.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, that's fair enough.
I mean, I like fruit chew type of stuff.
Yeah.
That's probably why I like it.
But yeah, the texture is great.
I really like the texture.
I would say that's the strong point.
And yeah, not unpleasant, but I guess it's what I would call like an old lady candy.
I like that.
I like old lady candy.
I like lady fingers too.
Is that old lady candy or cookies?
It is, yeah.
Can I try pineapple macadamia?
Oh, that's going to be good.
I would like to try one on the next break.
Macadamia is the nicest nut involved in any of this.
Pecan is a good nut, but macadamia is a premium nut.
Sure. And so this is a – Well. Macadamia is a premium nut.
That's why they cut it.
I think you're going to love this.
Number one, where is the macadamia?
There's almost no nuts in here.
I had some tiny
nut fragments in mine.
No, there was not a...
There was no nut to
add to the substance.
That's not really the point of Turkish Delights.
It's not the nuts.
It's more about the fruit.
Why are the nuts in there?
Oh, it's more of a kind of garnish of sorts.
An internal garnish?
It's more of a flourish.
A flourish.
Okay.
Whose regional pride is built on Turkish Delights besides Turkey?
Now, obviously—
Yeah, did we see a return address on the thing?
The Turks are proud of two things.
Number one,
they're Turkish delights.
Number two, the Armenian genocide.
They're not proud.
They don't admit it.
Yeah, I mean, I think delight
is a little strong. I would say a Turkish
eh.
Oh, you're being too hard.
No, maybe.
No, I mean, it was very, very nice of the person to send them.
I think they're good.
I am not lying.
That's what you're saying.
No, candy eating is rare for me these days, and this is maybe not what I would.
You don't eat candy?
No, you know, I tried to cut out sweets.
I love candy. I don't like these. I'm going to have another one. You don't eat candy? No, you know, I tried to cut out sweets. I love candy.
I'm going to have another one. You don't like
them?
Come on, guys. I can't believe you don't like these.
They're good. They're tasty.
I haven't even eaten them yet, and I'm thinking
they're good.
My wife hates
nuts.
What? Let's not get into that.
It's my wife.
But I can't bring these things home because she'll be angry at me.
Does her skull have a ridge?
Is that?
Jordan.
Okay.
Number one, that's phrenology, not eugenics.
It's a factor.
It'll make you evil.
Brian Fernandez, our producer, do people live at your house that can eat these disgusting things?
They're not that disgusting. They're okay. They're good. Brian Fernandez is going producer, do people live at your house that can eat these disgusting things? They're not that disgusting.
They're okay.
They're good.
Brian Fernandez is going to take these home.
Well, I mean, I also live somewhere where people can eat these things, too.
Brent, quit begging for Turkish delights.
It is very unseemly.
You just refuse to eat them on microphone.
You don't get them at all.
Okay, fair enough.
You're not even going to get one.
Fair enough.
You know what?
Truth be told, I'll just go buy some of my own.
Brent, you don't have that kind of money.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
But maybe if I sell enough of these albums that just came out, I can maybe afford to
rent them.
Brent, what are you doing?
Begging for candy.
What are you doing?
Plugging your album.
Geez.
Brent Weinbach, since he went on Conan.
So like a little while ago, Brent Weinbach appeared on the Conan program.
Sure.
Ever since then, he's been bragging about what he can buy.
You only get paid a couple hundred dollars to appeared on the Conan program. Sure. Ever since then, he's been bragging about what he can buy. You only get paid a couple hundred dollars to go on the Conan program.
Now I can go into Ralph's and buy anything I want.
Ribbon candies.
I go in there.
Circus peanuts.
The world's grossest candies.
Good and plenty.
Oh, boy.
Or as I like to call it, great and not enough.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go.
It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm, love you, love you, love you There's Armenians that protest out there by Westwood. What is that, Century City? Yeah.
Somewhere here in Los Angeles, there's a permanent anti-Armenian genocide protest that goes on.
By the way, you were talking about that what country is proud of Turkish Delights other than Turkey.
I think that a lot of European countries are.
Are proud of their Turkish Delights?
Maybe even England, I think.
I bet you.
Well, England is proud of a lot of shit food.
Let's get real.
In England, they got all these foods that they're like super excited about.
And you're like, you know, this kind of sucks.
I don't know.
Have you ever had a tuna potato?
Those are delicious.
A tuna potato?
Yeah.
You don't know tuna potato?
No, I've not had a tuna potato.
Sounds very British.
It's good.
We've had Cornish pasties.
We've had Cornish pasties. We've had Spotted Dick.
Jordan has had to eat Spotted Dick on – he ate Gentleman's Relish on International Waters.
Gentleman's Relish.
That's funny.
Yeah.
I mean, I think that the British enthusiasm for their local dishes is just because of the funny names.
Yeah.
I can't imagine it's because of the quality of the food.
I think there's like – these are some hilarious names.
I had haggis once.
I thought it was good.
Oh, yeah?
I need that.
Also, you know what's funny is,
this is kind of related to food,
but they don't have ranch,
you know, in England.
Right.
Ranch dressing.
Yeah, right.
Or they don't have ranch flavor.
Uh-huh.
And so Doritos,
cool ranch flavor,
is not called that in England.
What's it called?
It's called Cool American.
Oh. Again, that's Joe for a day flavor. It's like a Johnny De England. What's it called? It's called Cool American.
Again, that's Joe for a day flavor.
Okay.
Let's talk about those who support us on this program.
First of all, our friends at Ask Metafilter.
Let's just say that you're looking for something good to eat in England.
By the way, they have good food in England now. I'm just saying their regional specialties are a disappointment.
But if you're looking for a good thing to eat in England,
let's say you're in Cornwall and you're sick of pasties.
Sure.
Go on Ask Metafilter.
Ask.
Somebody will know the answer.
Ask.metafilter.com.
Thousands of life's little questions answered.
And also, as you listen to this, it may very well be Max Funday because this episode will hit the stream on October 15th, which is Max Funday.
And if you're the kind of person who listens to this show every single week on the first day that it comes out but you're not already a Max Fund owner.
Seems a little silly.
Seems a little silly.
Seems a little something.
It's a little tacky. It's a little Weinbach-esque. Here a little silly. You know, seems a little something. It's a little tacky.
And here's the thing.
It's a little Weinbach-esque.
Here's the thing.
October 15th, we are trying to get 1,000 new donors to MaximumFun.org to support all of our new initiatives,
including the new podcast, Risk, and our other new podcasts, Memory Palace, and so on,
and all of the new stuff that we've been doing here at Jordan Jesse Go, like hiring a producer, which we have, Mr. Brian Fernandez.
So you can donate at 5, 10, 20, 35, 50, 100, $200 a month at MaximumFun.org.
And if you go to MaximumFun.org slash MaxFunDay, we've got all kinds of cool stuff there, including
Jordan and I are going to be answering questions on the internet and doing Google hanging out and all these different fun things and also bonus content.
You will get a bonus episode of Jordan, Jesse Go that will only go to donors and bonus episodes
of many of our other programs.
And don't forget the bonus of getting to smell Jordan's seat.
And you can see one lucky donor will get to sniff my seat.
Yeah.
So Max Fun Day, October 15th.
If you're listening to this after October 15th, of course, we appreciate your donations any day.
I will say that on October 15th, every single new donor who gives $10 a month or more will help us help the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank to give 20 meals to needy families.
Help the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank to give 20 meals to needy families.
So families that can't afford food, we will help them with food through the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank.
We're very proud to be doing that in this drive.
It's going to be really cool.
Hopefully we'll get 1,000 new donors and we'll be giving out 20,000 meals to people who need them here in the Los Angeles area. So Max Funday.
And if you're already a donor, fucking get on the social media.
Talk someone you know into doing it.
Hashtag it Max Funday.
Come to the fucking, you know, what's that thing called?
The Looky Loos?
Google Looky Loos?
I don't know.
Google Chat Roulettes?
Yeah, Google Chat Roulettes. Yeah, Google Chat Roulettes.
Make a Pinterest board.
Yeah, make a Pinterest board.
How come there's no Pinterest boards?
Come on.
Hashtag Max Funday.
Pinterest board.
Just because this podcast is not a cupcake, that's mainly what's on Pinterest, guys.
You could make –
That was a very astute observation on my part.
Someone on Pinterest, someone on Tumblr made paper dolls of you and me.
Oh, I saw that.
Yeah.
Come on.
If you can handle paper craft, the next step is Jordan Jesse cupcake.
Yeah.
Pinterest.
Hashtag Max Funday.
There you go.
October 15th.
That's a fun way to promote us on Pinterest.
And they're in their native parlance.
Seriously. There you go. October 15th. That's a fun way to promote us on Pinterest, and they're in their native parlance. Seriously, we're able to give out this show for free because people donate, and we do need your donations to pay the continuing costs of this operation.
So help us out on Max Funday, October 15th.
And if you already help us out, talk someone else into doing it, and we'll get you all kinds of bonus content, and we'll get meals for for needy families and it's going to be a blast.
So we'll see you then and there or if you're listening to this today or in the past.
Okay.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go.
It's Jordan and Jesse Go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Brent Weinbach.
Bonkers.
Wish I ever got a chance to eat Bonkers candy.
You're upset that you did not get a chance to eat Bonkers.
You had a good solid ten years there where you could have eaten Bonkers.
I don't think it was out for ten years.
I think it was only out for maybe two or something.
Am I right about that?
Brent Weinbach was lamenting off microphone that he never got to try the candy bonkers
before it was discontinued.
Just have an Abba Zappa and shut your pie hole.
Do you think maybe – God, who was I listening to?
I was listening to some – oh, it might have been my brother, my brother and me, where
they – one of them likes this cereal called Blueberry Morning.
It was You Look Nice Today.
So they look at – they have a cereal they like called Blueberry Morning that got discontinued, and I think you can get it.
And they got boxes on Amazon.
I've looked for bonkers online.
Have you gone deep?
But even if you found them, it would be too old to be good, I think, at this point, even though it's candy.
Yeah.
You know, candy kind of lasts forever.
But I don't know.
I feel like this is early 80s candy.
There's Gushers now.
Gushers are fruit snacks, though.
But they gush.
These aren't candy.
But they gush.
Yeah.
Hey, look, don't get me wrong.
I get Gushers sometimes.
Right.
Yeah, I get fruit snacks.
You know what are good, actually?
The Ocean Spray fruit snacks.
Shark bites.
Those are good, too.
I like that.
Sometimes you get Great White.
Well, yeah, Great White.
I love the opaque colors.
Those are always more appealing to me visually, you know, than the translucent ones.
Agreed completely.
I never got any of these things.
Zero of any of these things.
I rarely did, too.
I got them as an adult, mainly.
I remember people getting fruit snacks and being like, their mom puts that in their lunch.
Right, yeah.
Like, what?
How did that?
Yeah.
Well, my mom – Meanwhile, like a big treat to my dad was we would – when we were waiting for the bus, he would wait for the bus with me.
When I say the bus, I'm talking about just a regular bus, not like a school bus.
And we waited at 30th and Mission in San Francisco.
in San Francisco, and there was this Mexican store there,
a sort of Mexican convenience store that sold whatever,
candy with chili in it.
And he would say, you can get any drink you want.
But for some reason, they didn't have – maybe I wasn't allowed to have soda.
I feel like they did not have like a Mexican Coke or something that would have been exciting from the Mexican store.
Unusual Fanta, for example.
Sure.
So I always – Something that supposedly tastes like watermelon.
I had to get Kern's Nectars.
I did not even like Kern's Nectars.
Those were bad.
Kern's Nectars.
I did not even like Kern's Nectars.
Those were bad. Here's the thing about a Kern's Nectar is that it's so thick that when it even gets close to room temperature, it becomes the world's most disgusting thing.
I think if you grabbed one out of the freezer and then drank it immediately before your hand heated up the can, it might taste good.
But yeah, it is just this like thick, like almost gelatinous sludge.
Yeah, disgusting.
You make it sound so bad.
I found Kern's nectar to be very good.
Yeah?
But I mean, what temperature?
You're putting those kind of freezable whiskey rocks in it though, right?
You're having it in a highball glass.
Yeah, exactly.
With those little...
I wore a bow tie and a monocle while I drank it.
I would like to see one of those bartenders that dress like a riverboat gambler.
I'd like to see him make a few Kern's Nectar-based drinks.
Yeah.
Maybe that's the new muddled mint leaf.
Kern's Nectar was like the V8 of fruit.
Yeah.
Nobody wants that.
Okay, look.
I'm not here to talk about Kern's Nectar.
I want to talk, Brent Weinbach, okay,
so, as I said,
Brent Weinbach, one of my favorite stand-up
comedians in the world, one of the most
distinctive comic voices in
the world. Among other
things, Brent Weinbach has also occasionally
had film output.
Brent had his own series
on Super Deluxe when Super Deluxe was running, and I loved Brent's series on Super Deluxe. Oh, thank output. Brent had his own series on Super Deluxe
when Super Deluxe was running
and I loved Brent's series
on Super Deluxe.
Oh, thank you.
Brent played himself
as an elementary school student.
Middle school student?
No, elementary.
Yeah, yeah.
And he played himself
in a context
where children
played the other characters.
It was a very pathos-filled comedy program about being in elementary school
that was very vivid, very brilliant in its execution, I think.
And I've always respected Brent's work, even outside of the stand-up comedy realm,
which is why my interest was piqued when he emailed me and told me that he was working on what I believe he termed as the most extreme expression of his aesthetic that he'd ever committed to film.
Does that sound like something you wrote to me?
That's how I remember.
I don't think I wrote that to you.
Okay.
But I think all I might have wrote to you was that I made a German instructional video.
Okay. You did. That pull quote is drumming instructional video. Okay.
You did.
I think that's –
That pull quote is from Peter Travers.
Right.
Sorry.
Yeah.
I'm trying to think of where I might have said that.
Maybe I might have said that I was really proud of this other piece I made called Squeeze.
I don't know if you saw that.
No, not that.
I'm talking about – we're going to talk about ultimate drumming technique.
So Brent sent me this –
Not your new wave band. He explained to me Brent sent me this. Not your new wave band.
He explained to me.
Squeezes the name of a new wave band.
He explained to me that in order to show this video, he had had to purchase a domain name and hosting for the video because it could not be hosted on YouTube or Vimeo.
Now, I do remember sending you an email about it, and I did this as a sort of – it's almost like a publicity stunt to promote the new album.
Right. Which I won't even say the name of, it's almost like a publicity stunt to promote the new album. Right.
Which I won't even say the name of, Jordan.
Thank you.
And so it's Brent Winebox, Almost Live, the Seattle sketch comedy phenomenon.
It's been going for the starring Bill Nye, the science guy and Joel McHale.
Okay.
Now, I'll say this.
Well, we're going to do this thing,
but it's not just my video.
It's this guy named Adam Sherry
who also made it with me,
but we made a drumming instructional video.
I'll talk more about it once.
Once.
So I've seen the video.
It is indeed an extreme expression
of Brent Weinbach's aesthetic.
And Brent, you said,
we're going to show Jordan the video,
but you said that there are two things that you wanted Jordan to know
before Brian Fernandez brings in the computer and shows the video to Jordan.
Okay, I have two tips for you.
Okay.
All right?
Pay attention.
And this is tips for anybody who checks this out from listening to this.
Pay attention, and this is tips for anybody who checks this out from listening to this. Pay attention to—
We should say people can check it out by going to ultimatedrummingtechnique.com.
I do not recommend that they do that.
Go ahead.
I mean, I cannot in good conscience recommend that they do that.
If you are a cool person who likes cool things, then I can, in good conscience,
recommend going to WWW.
You want to wash down a couple turkish delights
with a can of guava kerns.
You're one of those types.
So listen, here's the two tips.
One is,
there's a lot of nuance to this video,
if you pay attention to it.
Like most internet videos.
One thing you should, yeah, but there's a...
Is this like that video of the people passing the basketball back and forth and at the end you find out that a gorilla ran through but you didn't notice because you were too busy paying attention to where the basketball goes?
Yeah, I guess it's kind of like that.
I think it is like that.
Yeah, I guess based on your – based on the description and the buildup you guys are giving this, I'm expecting one of two things.
buildup you guys are giving this, I'm expecting one of two things.
I'm expecting some sort of two girls, one cup gross out or one of those things where it's like, you know, follow the dot through the maze and then a face screams at you.
I don't want to see either of those guys.
If that's what we're doing, let's just shut this up.
It's not either.
I've got some more Kern's Nectar material.
We can just go on that.
It's just a guy eating Turkish delights over and over again.
It's even grosser than what you mentioned.
Oh, Turkish delights.
I'm delighted.
There's an obvious joke in this, okay?
But if you look past the obvious part, just pay attention to the snare drum.
Okay.
Just pay attention to the snare drum.
Something screams at me.
I'm going to be so mad.
I'm going to be so mad. No, nothing will scream at you. Okay. Okay, just pay attention to the snare drum. If something screams at me, I'm going to be so mad. I'm going to be so mad.
No, nothing will scream at you.
Okay.
And the snare drum are in quotes.
I'll just say that.
Okay.
So pay attention to the snare drum.
That's tip number one.
Tip two, pay attention to the drummer's sort of facial expressions and head movements and stuff.
Because that's a really good part of the video, too, I think.
I don't want to be screamed at.
You're not going to be screamed at, I promise.
You have to trust me on this.
I trust you.
We've known each other for a long time.
Sure.
And I think that, yeah, there's a bond there.
I promise there's no screaming.
Brian Fernandez, our producer, is now coming into the studio.
He's bringing his portable computing device.
Yeah.
This is a Macintosh computing
device.
I just want to
make sure this
looks good too.
He's got the
video queued up
for Jordan.
Have you got the
volume on so we
can hear it?
I just want to
make sure that the
volume's on here.
Yeah, the font
looks like it's
stolen from
A Different World.
The TV show?
The show that
came on after
I thought you
meant it was
stolen from
A Different World.
Oh, yeah. No, no, no. The show that came on after Is I thought you meant like it was stolen from a different world.
Oh, yeah. No, no, no. The show that came on after... Is that why you're wearing those flip-down sunglasses, Brent?
And you've got that high-top fade?
Yeah, exactly. I have that Nike swoosh in my head.
Okay. Go ahead and press play.
Okay.
Do people want me to describe it?
You can say what you see in the video.
Okay, there is a guy.
If he starts describing it, he's going to miss the nuance, I think.
Okay.
Wait, so we want him to be silent?
No, I don't know.
I'm not sure, actually.
Okay, so there's a man who I would describe as Anthony Kiedis-esque.
That's an excellent description of this man.
This is a long-haired guy with some bad tattoos, and he is hitting drums with one hand and jacking off with the other.
Now, here's the thing.
Okay.
Although, I guess maybe jacking off is...
Okay.
Well, not quite.
He's not quite...
He's stroking his partially erect member.
Yeah.
Well, actually, sometimes it's pretty full-on erect, I erect member. Yeah. Well, actually, sometimes it's pretty full on erect.
Yeah.
I say there are times.
I mean, in the short time I've been watching the video, it has been, you know.
Okay.
Hold on.
Watch this real quick.
I mean, the next one, actually.
That's full.
It's a pretty big dick.
That's full.
Yeah.
It's standing up.
He's letting go.
It's a pretty big dick.
It's letting.
He's letting go periodically.
To do fills?
Yeah.
Does he let go to do the fills?
Did you get that, Jordan?
Practice.
What did he say?
He said, remember, practice.
Practice makes perfect, Jordan.
Yeah, so I'm still watching this.
Are you paying attention to the snare drum?
Kind of.
Listen to the snare sound.
I'm looking at the guy's dick a lot.
Look at his face.
That's the trick.
Is this like an Easter egg?
Are you saying there's an Easter egg that Jordan could get out of this?
Yeah, there's two Easter eggs.
They're right below his hand.
Can we just watch the Avengers blooper reel?
So, when Brent... Oh, he hit the drum with his dick when brent described to me
before i saw it i think brent mentioned to me essentially the outlines of it and i have to say
that i presumed that this is what i would see. A man drumming with one hand,
shot from about the navel up,
and we could see through,
we could interpret through the movements of his shoulder and elbow
that something, let us say, untoward,
was going on, let us say, below the belt.
However, I think we can learn from your description of the member in question
as a pretty big dick.
That's a pretty big dick.
That Brent chose instead, rather than implying the penis and masturbation,
self-pleasure, I want to be delicate about this.
Right.
Let's not let this get crass
this is a piece of art
has directed
has taken in the full field of action
within his
camera's gaze
well put
okay so here's the
okay go ahead Jordan
do you have a question
well here can I say
what I got right?
Can I say if I appreciated it correctly?
I hope so.
I don't know.
So I guess we're seeing the titles of the drum techniques that he's supposedly laying out.
Do those have nothing to do with the drum techniques and these are just masturbation techniques?
No, no.
They do have to do with the drum techniques.
Those are legitimate drum techniques?
Yeah, sure.
I mean, I guess. Okay. Yeah. What do you mean? you mean i mean are you saying grip control that's one of them right
is that an actual drum technique yeah do you need i'm sure that you could there's probably something
to there is probably something involved we actually specifically didn't want them to be too
you know on the head yeah uh or on the nose uh or on the boy on the or on the boy's nose about that was like related to masturbation
or anything.
We didn't want it to be like, what was the other one?
Like hitting the skin.
We don't want to say anything like hitting the skin or power stroke.
We never wanted it.
That was too much.
But grip control is something that could be applied to drumming, I think.
Yeah, I mean, it's delicate.
You were a professional musician for a time.
I played percussion as well, yeah.
Okay, so here's the first issue that cropped up when I watched this.
Wait, did you put up posters at music stores that said drummer wanted?
Almost.
Yeah, how did you find the guy?
Who is he?
Okay.
You want, should I take it back before that though?
Oh, please.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go start from the beginning.
Take it back.
Rewind the track.
Okay.
So look, my friend and I, Adam, we were at this music show and there was a band playing.
Yeah.
And we were in the back of the room and we were just joke
at joking around as people do uh we started pantomiming masturbating to the snare drum and
i hope you noticed that that he was probably something he was doing it on the beat that it's
every stroke is to the beat yeah it's to this no it's to the snare hit i mean not the beat not
not the beat though it's to the snare hit because he's off sometimes. And you can hear that in this. If you hear the snare sound, it's exactly synced up with his stroke, but it might not be on beat.
But anyway, so.
Again, I want to emphasize.
I don't necessarily think people should look at this.
The dick's pretty.
I mean, if you do like, I mean, if you like the side of a pretty good looking Anthony Kiedis guy who's got a big dick, that's nice.
Right.
So we started, to every snare hit, we started pantomiming it as a joke, and we had a good laugh.
This was just you or what, like at a Grizzly Bear concert?
I actually don't even want to say who it was, but it was the show.
We were joking around doing it this way and whatever, doing it this way, whatever.
And so then we had this thought, you know, this would be funny if we shot this as a video.
Was it a different member of the Animal Collective?
Who, like Panda?
Panda.
No, it wasn't.
You know, what's funny, though, is actually kind of – it wasn't a member of the Animal Collective, but it was related to that.
In the video?
I think I would think it was related.
Oh, the guy in the video?
No, that wasn't a member of the Animal Collective that we saw in the video.
No, no, not at all, no.
Okay.
We did see a member in there.
Oh, yeah, that was a member for sure.
That was Sufjan Stevens.
The video.
So, okay, so we were like, we should make this as a video. And at first we had these thoughts of maybe Adam can just put like a fake penis coming out of his pants.
He'd be fully clothed and he can play the drums and he would just do it like that.
A classic boogie night scenario.
Yeah, but it would probably even look pretty fake too.
It wouldn't look as real as that.
So then we thought, no no that's not that's
not gonna get the point what his real penis looks like which ones who's a lot of people know what
adam's real oh okay i thought you meant mark walbert um yeah everybody knows everyone's gonna
know it's fake walbert is celibate you know adam adam everyone knows what adam's penis looks like
you're right it's gonna look fake we want this to look legitimate so we then we thought okay it'd
be funny if we shot this thing like a real drumming instructional video and got a rocker looking kind of guy to
be fully naked except for wearing sneakers and to actually have a boner and be doing this.
I know what drumming instructional videos look like. I'll tell you why. It's because Jim Rayall,
the master of Would You Rather, a periodic guest on this program. When we were in college, I mean, he continues to be a drummer and has drummed in many bands.
And when we were in college, he had a video of the drummer from the Dave Matthews Band,
who I want to say is named Carter Beaufort or Beauford, something like that.
He is a black guy.
Unbelievably, there's a black guy in the Dave Matthews Band.
It's a multiracial experience in that there's a couple of black guy. Unbelievably, there's a black guy in the Dave Matthews band. Oh, yeah. The Dave Matthews band is a multiracial experience in that there's a couple of black guys.
And so this guy is – so this guy, Jim would insist that even though the Dave Matthews
band was the Dave Matthews band, that this guy was actually a really epic drummer.
Yeah.
I think it's maybe the same argument that people will give you for why you should like
John Mayer.
Yeah.
Is that like –
She's super good. I know these are these are yeah these are goofy songs but technically what he's up to
yeah so let's love technically i watched a lot of he would be just watching that in his
in his dorm room you know playing on practice pads or on his bed or what what have you you
have replicated the the single camera sad aesthetic of the drumming
instructional video.
It's not a single.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not.
Well, what do you mean by single camera in that it's not a multicam sitcom or?
I mean, like, no, because it's.
This was shot in front of a live audience.
Yeah.
It's live studio audience exactly.
Generally, like.
Some of it was sweetened up.
The laughter was sweetened up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sure, sure.
But you're looking at like 75% master shot.
We, yeah, yeah, I guess. But we, there was, this was with canned laughter a little bit. You're looking at like 75% master shot. Yeah, I guess.
But this was a six-camera shoot.
Okay.
And there was two guys manning six cameras.
I was one of them.
Right.
And one guy on sound.
It was just three of us who made it.
There's another guy named Trevor Ames who helped produce this.
So we – okay, this is back up again.
So you were asking about posting a thing at where, Amoeba Music or a record store looking for a drummer?
Yeah.
Well, we at first tried to – we thought –
Drummer wanted sight influences.
And then you just picked the one who said Debbie does that.
Right, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So the – at first we thought we need somebody who's comfortable on camera being naked and who could also be comfortable having an erection and would be able to maintain an erection, but who also could play the drums decently.
You needed a triple threat.
Yeah.
I mean, this is more like a quintuple, I think.
A real Liza Minnelli type of show.
So we started asking around, and we found this guy who's a porn actor who could play the drums.
Hold on.
Asking around?
Yeah.
You said that as though that's –
Like he just casually came up.
You could be hanging out at a bar and be like, hey, you know anybody who can get hard and stay hard while playing drums on camera?
My friend Bill does crafty on some porn shoots.
I can ask him if he knows anybody.
Well, the truth is I do know this guy who started to do porn.
And so I asked him first.
And he knew this guy who was a porn actor who played the drums.
But also independent of that, my friend Adam, he actually knew
this girl who did porn and he ran into her randomly on the street and he kind of told
her about the idea and said, yeah, I'm looking for somebody.
And she recommended the same guy that the guy I know recommended.
So you know this, you got two independent recommendations.
It's not like this was meant to be.
But the guy didn't want to do it.
So we almost had this porn actor who could play drums, and he didn't end up wanting to do it.
So then we decided, let's just put an ad on Craigslist.
So this is kind of like –
This guy's got too much class.
Right, right.
He just thought it was too lowbrow, you know?
So he has to go be in This Ain't Honey Boo Boo and XXX Parody.
Oh, man.
Is that a real one?
Probably.
Probably not because that's a child that stars in that show. Right, but it's like a – Oh, yeah. Is that a real one? Probably not because that's a child that stars in that show.
Right, but it's a parody, though.
It's a parody.
I was thinking it would just be like Fat Rednecks, but there is child pageantry involved.
Guys, that was a tasteless joke, and I apologize.
Well, we put the – it wasn't – but not –
Anyway, back to this dick stroke.
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry for the joke that I told that was important.
But no apologies about the Armenian Genocide jokes, right? No, no. We're building time. Yeah, yeah. Sorry for the joke that I told that was important. But no apologies about the Armenian genocide jokes, right?
No, no.
We're building awareness.
Yeah.
So we went to –
Raising Arizona.
So we posted an ad on Craigslist under –
Raising Arizona.
What about Raising Arizona?
Oh, we're Raising Arizona.
Yeah, yeah.
Guys, we were Raising Arizona right now.
Yeah.
So we didn't post an actual – we posted it on Craigslist under talent gigs.
I put a new drummer needed for comedy video.
And I said this isn't a porn video.
There is obviously a pornographic element.
And I explained that you need to be able to maintain an erection.
And I also explained that this isn't some guy who's going to shoot you in his basement by himself.
It's a six-camera shoot.
I said it's a six-camera shoot.
The six-camera shoot.
I said it's a six-camera shoot.
You know, this is, you know, we've had videos produced by SuperDeluxe.com.
No, I didn't actually say that, but I'm saying that now because you said that.
But we did say our videos have been featured on Funny or Die and stuff like that. And it's, this isn't, you know, this is a legitimate comedy thing.
And it's not, you know, it's not a sketchy thing.
We'll be bringing in a guy from Hogan's Heroes to shoot stereoscopy photographs.
And then we...
Greg Kinnear.
What, Kamikaze?
Remember that show, Kamikaze, MTV, Greg Kinnear?
I don't know.
Did he host that?
Was it?
I don't know.
Anyway, his eyes were whitened out and stuff.
All right, so we got...
Anyway, we put this ad out.
We got about six responses,
and the first guy to respond
was the guy who's in the video.
And he said he'd done some...
He's actually...
His girlfriend, I think,
does porn or something like that,
but he hadn't done porn before, really,
although he did say
he had been in some kind of pictorial shoot
once with his girlfriend
or something like that.
But he didn't have a lot of experience with it.
Anyway, he was down –
He's just looking to break into the biz.
Yeah.
This is his way in right now.
So we –
They're comedy biz.
Can I ask, is this – this is paid?
It was a paid job, yes.
But –
What is a drum master beta get paid, if you don't mind my asking?
Out of respect to him, I don't want to say, but I'll just say that it was under $500.
Now, the – but his name's not even on the credits or anything anymore.
We used to have it say at the end and introducing him, his name.
And I realized we should have just – he ended up wanting to be anonymous on it.
But it would have been – we should have just changed the name to a fake name.
I think that's still a funny joke if people noticed it.
But that was the subtlety I was talking about, the nuance.
It was just wait until the end of the credits.
Very nuanced.
So anyway, it was a really difficult thing to shoot, actually.
We had six – it was just three of us, two on six cameras and then one on the sound.
And it was really hard for him to get an erection, actually.
So first he thought he could just do it.
And then we had to go to this liquor store and get a magazine for him um and that didn't really work and first of all first we got
car magazines from rite aid because that's all they had and then just like lowrider magazines
yeah or whatever and that didn't work and um then we had to go to an actual liquor store to get
have you seen a porn magazine lately i haven't seen one in years actually because the internet
but it's crazy that they still exist you know who who would but i don't you know what i mean
that's just so weird that they exist i think it is like there are just guys who did it their
whole life and to whom masturbating means having a porn right right right i guess it's a sense of
comfort there's a 60 percent of of Americans do not use the internet.
Is that true?
Yes.
Oh, wow.
That's interesting.
It's for them.
It's for a considerable number of people.
We're raising Arizona right now.
We got the magazine. That didn't work either.
So we had to resort to it. We didn't have an extra computer.
We needed the one computer we had for sound.
So Trevor actually let him use his cell phone his iphone yeah to
watch videos on online and the guy was you know touching his penis and touching his phone but he
didn't seem to care trevor didn't care i would have totally i would never probably would have
put a cover or something on it something i don't know and so um we had a we had this precious
he basically would leave the room while he would basically get himself erect.
And then he'd call us in and say, all right, I'm ready.
And we have to run in.
And just we had a precious amount of time to shoot this before he lost his boner again.
It's called the magic hour.
It was so difficult to shoot this.
The penis is at its zenith.
Yeah, it was like.
Penis, zenith.
That was fun to say.
Penis.
Penis.
Yes, right.
Because you did have precious little time. Andis. Penis. Penis. Right. What is –
Because you did have precious little time.
And that's why you have to combine the words.
Instead of saying penis zenith.
Yeah, exactly.
And so we had to shoot this and there was just all kinds of problems.
We also had to leave the cameras running because we didn't have time to turn along footage of him just straight up masturbating.
It's not even –
To an iPhone.
Yeah.
It's not even just – I mean it's crazy that we have just straight up masturbating. It's not even... To an iPhone. Yeah, it's not even just...
I mean, it's crazy that we have just straight up footage.
This whole operation is insane, Brent.
Well, yeah, it was pretty crazy, but...
So wait, so wait, did this ever...
I guess this is what I would...
This is crazy for Brent Weinbach.
Right, right.
On a scale of one to Brent Weinbach,
this is Brent Weinbach plus two.
I was going to say, did it ever come up
that his girlfriend should come and like... She was going to say, did it ever come up that his girlfriend should come and like –
She was out of town.
But it did come up that maybe we should have brought a girl.
But then to me that gets weird actually.
Yes.
To me that gets a little weird when it – that gets a little too sexual.
The rest of it is not weird.
I don't think it's that weird.
To me it was pretty ridiculous and pretty funny.
But if you brought a girl into the mix, I think it would have got too sexual and weird i think for me you know yeah even though that wouldn't have appeared on camera but right um
to me it's it's not that sexual even though i don't know i mean that's coming at it from a
heterosexual male perspective you know i don't know but um but yeah he did have a boner but um
anyway we thought nicely groomed too oh he did i think it wasn't like yeah he did trim himself i
think before the shoot.
Yeah, he was prepared.
But it was tough to shoot.
We didn't think we got what we needed because it was just so difficult.
Cameras are shutting off automatically sometimes.
But through the magic of editing, we did make it work.
It actually looks the way we envisioned it.
I mean, if you would have told me that this guy just showed up and started drumming
and jerking off,
I would have believed you.
That's a testament
to the editing.
Yes.
It's a testament
to your skill as a filmmaker.
Right, right.
The editing process
is really funny too.
Yeah.
Oh God,
I believe it.
So,
and I guess,
was it important to you
that the guy's dick
be pretty big
because it is?
Well, we wanted it to be visible that that was happening.
And we thought it's funnier if he has a boner, you know, than if he just has a limp penis, you know?
Right.
And there is a part where he just, oh, that was a part of it too, is he was having trouble at first understanding the concept that your penis has to, think of your penis as the snare drum.
You know, it has to be, you have to think of that as the snare drum and and stroke it as if you're hitting a snare drum you have to think of it rhythmically like
that and he couldn't he wasn't getting that at first you doing like were you doing like
one e and a two e and a three i was kind of doing that one e and a two e and i was telling him what
to do you can actually if you listen carefully to the video you can hear me in the background
telling him what to kind of directing him a little bit.
But I have to say, though, the facial expressions, which are hilarious to me, those were all him.
Yeah.
I mean, he just, that was, I didn't say anything about his facial expressions, and he did that all on his own accord, which I thought was great.
He's very committed to his drumming.
And then he also, but the point I was going to make was that he, the poignant remark I was going to make was that – what was I going to say about something about – gosh, all this talk about penises got me lost in thought here.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He just wasn't able to get it.
And so there was one part, the drum roll execution, if you remember.
That was him not actually getting it.
He was just masturbating and playing the drums.
I'm sorry. I don't know. I know I don't need to make the gesture while I'm talking about it. It's actually helping me. you remember that was him not actually getting it he was just masturbating and playing the drums i'm
sorry i don't know i don't know i know i don't need to make the gesture while i'm talking it's
actually helping me it's helping me visualize it he was just um you know masturbating and not
doing it to the beat and that was we were at first that wasn't going to make it make the cut but then
we were like what if we put a drum roll sound over that that would be like the drum roll
and so that worked out really well to be the drum roll you know so what's crazy to me about this is that somehow you have made the single most bizarre
disturbing insane video that i've ever watched and at the same time it it has neither a sexual nor a sort of like Doug Stanhope-y, like, fuck you establishment feeling to it.
It has a weird drum instructional video quality.
I'm glad you feel that way about it because it's meant to be silly.
It's meant to be absurd.
See, now, whether it's silly or absurd, I'm not sure.
I don't know if I'm going to go there with that.
And again, I'm going to go on record as saying I'm not certain that you should watch this video if you're in the audience.
Jordan watched it for your benefit.
I definitely think you should buy Brent Weinbach's CD.
Everybody's going to like that.
Watching this video, you're going to get a mixed bag.
Yeah, you do get a mixed bag because I think people sometimes don't pay attention to the nuance sometimes, you know?
Sure.
If you pay attention to the nuance, I think there's more to get.
It holds up to multiple watches.
But you know what?
I've showed it to friends.
Actually, my good friend who edited those Weinbach and Wonderland shorts, he saw it,
and he wasn't able to really get what I got out of it.
But it was a different experience for me making it
and editing it with these guys.
It was really funny.
I think watching it by yourself.
There's an element of trauma.
Well, watch it with a group.
I think if you watch it with a group, that's a good experience.
There's a nightmare type element.
So this is not something you could put on your regular video sharing sites, right?
You can't see this on YouTube.
You can put it on your regular video sharing sites, right? Right. You can't see this on YouTube. But there is an unscripted.
You can put it on your reel.
There's a censored version on YouTube and a less censored version on Funny or Die.
Okay.
The black box is smaller on the Funny or Die one.
Okay.
But the YouTube one, because they're pretty strict on YouTube, put like a full on waste.
It covers his entire pelvic region, you know, on YouTube.
But I think watch it with a group.
It's more fun with a group.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
But I can understand if you're by yourself watching it, it's a little weird.
You know, that's exactly what people said and I think is true about think like a man.
Get – go with couples.
Yeah, go.
And afterwards you talk about it.
Is this really what guys think?
I guess I just –
Yes, it is. I guess I just didn guess i just yes it is i guess i just
didn't want to see steve harvey masturbate yeah like i knew that it was coming and that's why i
had paid my 12 but ultimately i was uncomfortable with it kevin hart's a great drummer though
that really is true um okay that's all we're going to talk about this video anyway i think
at this point you have the information you need to make an informed decision for you and your family.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go.
It's Jordan and Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan Jesse Go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Brent Weinbach, the ultimate drummer.
You're the...
It looks...
I'm not the ultimate drummer.
Okay, great.
But, I mean, in spirit.
Because that would have really upset me.
If that was you the whole time.
My friend, Brent Weinbach, doing that.
That would have genuinely upset me. I would. Did you ever consider doing it yourself?
I would never show my privacy.
Your privacy area.
That's what my sister...
Your pee zone.
I would never show my penis to anybody.
I mean, to anyone at all.
That's for the best.
On camera or off
This is a private place
Save it for heaven
Then you can show it to St. Peter
Save it for the bedroom in heaven
That's why his name is St. Peter by the way
You gotta show him your dick
Oh that's blasphemous
That's why there's no women in heaven That's blasphemous. There's no women in heaven.
That's blasphemous.
Don't be gross.
Where I got privacy from is my sister, she used to substitute teach, and one of the kids, that's how he described his private parts.
He said, he's like, oh, teacher, you know, Jesse just, whatever.
I just said Jesse randomly, but I know that's your name.
Jesse just hit Jordan in the privacy.
I know that's your name.
Jesse just hit Jordan in the privacy.
They'd also say, I got to use it.
That's how they'd say it. I got to use the bathroom.
Teacher, teacher, I got to use it.
Is that the bathroom or the penis?
Right.
I don't know.
You tell me.
I can't.
It means the bathroom, but maybe he meant use the penis in the bathroom to urinate or whatever.
Sure.
Who knows what those things are for?
Hey, our thanks to Brent Weinbach.
Yeah, absolutely.
You can visit Brent online at brentweinbach.com.
I want to give a really full-throated recommendation.
If people get the chance to see Brent Weinbachinbach it's a he is a really special
performer a really amazingly brilliantly hilarious and like nothing else you will ever see um and i
really recommend that people go out to see him i think he is brent in my mind exemplifies one of
the greatest qualities of a great stand-up comedian which which is that I have seen Brent kill in many, many different contexts
with things that are so bizarre that I cannot believe they would kill in any context,
except for the fact that Brent is such a skilled and talented comedian.
And I think that is a really special thing to be able to do, to bring genuine, genuine distinctiveness, things that are actually like nothing else to any audience and be able to make them laugh.
And Brent is a very special at that.
Now, again, this video, I don't know if I do not know if I am behind this.
And he is also the host of the Legacy Music Hour, which where you can learn, have very serious discussions about 8-bit and 16-bit music.
And it's very separate from the comedy.
It's like not a comedy podcast.
Nope.
I mean, we joke around a little bit.
There's a little bit of a joke around.
It's a sincere discussion.
I would call the tone fun.
It's fun, but it's very different from what I do as a comedian.
It's mostly just you leaning into the microphone and going...
Yeah, it's mostly just you leaning into the microphone and going, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do ways to physically order online. Yeah, it's great. I've listened to it. It's fucking hilarious. And check out youtube.com slash burntweinbach for videos.
I mean, other videos, I'm saying.
And, hey, I want to say one other thing, which is, you know,
earlier in the show we mentioned Max Funday.
If it is still Max Funday, Monday the 15th while you're listening to this,
you know what you need to do.
If it's after Max Funday, I bet a lot of you out there have just become Max Fund supporters.
And, you know, we couldn't do any of this without the people that support this show and all of our shows at MaximumFund.org. And lately, I have been, as owner of MaximumFund.org, I have been sort of speculatively adding programs to the lineup, which is to say, telling people, hey, listen, I'll pay you now and I believe that our donors will support it.
And so more than ever, I appreciate the fact that, you know, we don't have to kowtow to advertisers or try and build the largest audiences in the world because we have passionate users that love supporting our shows.
So thank you very much to those people.
Yeah, no, it's really great.
I mean, just as somebody who does one of these shows, the fact that there are donors is, you know, just makes it easy to make a priority.
Guys, I'm sorry I don't remember his name.
Who's the guy who hosts the Memory Palace?
Nate DiMeo.
He was going to quit, right?
Yeah, Nate had actually told me that he – Nate DiMeo makes The Memory Palace.
It is this amazing, amazing show if you haven't listened to it yet.
And I came to it just because I thought it was so amazing.
I actually asked on Twitter what show should I listen to because I'm done listening to this other show I loved called History of the World and a Thousand Objects.
And a couple of Max Funsters recommended The Memory Palace.
And I thought it sounded
terrible but I listened to it and it blew my mind like immediately I found out Nate
lived in Los Angeles so I just invited him to lunch and the thing that we talked about
when we were at lunch was that you know he had been trying to make this show for public
radio and he'd had some success getting it on some stations and stuff like that but he
wasn't really making any money out of it and he had just written the Parks and Recreation book, which you,
for which he was nominated for a Thurber Prize. And he was, you know, going to be writing an
episode of the show and, you know, his wife runs a TV show. And he said, you know, I just don't
think I can justify doing this anymore. And, you know, I was thinking about that after I listened
to every episode, I thought, I want more of these.
And so I said to him, look, if we could pay you to make one a month, would you be able to find the time in your schedule?
Because I know you really love making this show.
And he said, listen, I could find the time in my schedule.
I could make it a priority if I was getting paid.
And so I just started paying him.
Yeah. I mean, kind of a less severe example is just kind of like what I was doing today. And so I just would have said, fuck it. I'm not going to go to the podcast today because it's inconvenient. But I think the fact that like, you know, there are so many people who donate and are so awesome about it. It's just like, it just, it ensures that we can make doing
the show a priority and not just a hobby whenever we feel like it. Yeah. I mean, I know that in my
day-to-day life, you know, I, you know, at this point I'm hosting this pile of shows. I have to have an
office to fit all the people that are working on these shows. You know, we have this real studio.
All of these things have come about because we were able to get support from donors. The truth
is like, you know, I, I get not practical, pretty close to nothing from being on the radio. And we make a little tiny bit of money on advertising here and there,
but we turn down probably more money in advertising than we take.
And even if we were taking everything, it wouldn't be a living.
And so it's the fact that people donate that have made me be able to not just do this,
but people think like, oh, you could, you could just do, you just, we could just get it for free because people do it for free.
But the truth is that when people, when people are doing something, you know, when people have talent, they need to, at some point, dedicate it towards something that will earn them a living because that is how they will be able to feed their families and so on and so forth.
because that is how they will be able to feed their families and so on and so forth.
And so it's really wonderful that we have people that love our shows that support them.
So thank you very much to everybody out there who is doing that.
It really means a lot.
And I really appreciate that people choose to support the entertainment that they like.
That's really kick-ass.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's great.
Way to go, guys.
So anyway, our theme music,
Love You by The Free Design,
courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records.
On the boards, Mr. Brian Fernandez.
Thank you, Brian.
PrintWinebox online at printwinebox.com.
We'll talk to you next week on Jordan, Jessica.