Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 329: Fish Day with Hasan Minhaj

Episode Date: June 16, 2014

Comedian and host Hasan Minhaj joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of sneaker collecting culture, concert experiences, and Hasan's new show on PBS. ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take coffee, shoes and sex and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Oh, Jordan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:18 I want to wish you a happy Dia de Pescas. Fish day in Spanish. Thank you. It's been an amazing fish day so far. I haven't interacted with any fish or eaten any or really thought about them that much. But, I mean, I can feel the spirit, you know. Jordan, the literal translation, sure, it's fish day. It's fish day. But I think the actual translation, at least the one on the banner that I saw, was Youth Fishing Derby 2014, MacArthur Park Lake.
Starting point is 00:00:53 How'd it go? It was pretty great. I was here earlier this afternoon. And the lake outside of our recording studio here on MacArthur Park in Los Angeles, surrounded by eight-year-olds fishing. It was a United Nations of aspiring anglers. I did not see any fish get caught. I think fishing transcends culture. You know, that's a really good point. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Although there may be some inland cultures that don't do a lot of fishing i guess they do freshwater fishing rivers streams fjords cricks yeah well if you're going down to the oh you're going to try and catch crawdads sure or a famous jumping frog you can put in some sort of jumping frog contest oh i guess this is going to be an annual thing now, because this happened to us when we were recording once before. That must have been a year ago that we saw the first time that hundreds of Los Angeles children came together to go fishing in an in an art in a not an artificial lake in a real lake whose bottom was filled in by concrete. In a real lake whose bottom was filled in by concrete. Do you think that Dia de Pesca is going to become a more beloved Jordan-Jesse-Go holiday than Analogous? That is a total different story. I mean, Analogous is more of like a month-long celebration. Right.
Starting point is 00:02:17 And this is one day. So I guess it – Yeah, I mean, this one is more technically a holiday, right? Because a holiday has to be a single day. That's true. Now, I guess analogous is, yeah, maybe, I mean, I said celebration, but I guess it's more kind of a month of remembrance. A lot of people. Remembrances of the anus.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Let's introduce, let's bring our guest into this conversation. Sure. Because he's going to have a lot to say about everything from fish to anuses. He is a stand-up comic. He is the host of a new documentary about stand-up comedy around the world. Yes. Which I've already forgotten the name of, despite the fact that he told it to me literally 30 seconds ago. Stand-up Planet.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Stand-up Planet. There you go. His name is Hasan Minhaj. How are you, sir? I'm doing wonderful. Thanks for having me, you guys. It's a pleasure to have you, although I think you're too handsome. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:09 Right? Too handsome. Okay. Get out of here. He's one of these too handsome to be a comic guys. What are you? What are you, Chris Hardwick? Sure.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Hey. Get out of here, you Rob Delaney. Oh, man. Oh, man. And you get those sweet Jordans. Oh, hey. We can get into my affinity for Jordans and why I- Are you a- Okay. He's got the concrete colorway. Oh, yeah. And you get those sweet Jordans. Oh, hey, we can get into my affinity for Jordans and why I... Are you a...
Starting point is 00:03:26 He's got the concrete colorway. Oh, yeah. Are you a... Look at you. Are you a line waiter inner for Jordans? You know, I used to be when I was a kid. Mm-hmm. And I did that a few times.
Starting point is 00:03:39 I am definitely a big part of the culture. Sure. I'm a fan of the culture but i can't i just as an adult i can't there's a there's an age cut off for way for jordan but you know what the the the fandomonium has only gotten more and more and more and i am shocked by that yeah i was sure look i i had i've had some sneakers in my time sure you know what i mean uh-huh uh but i was sure when i was in college which is now 12 years ago that the fad had reached its peak i i was like and you know it'll go back to like maybe people waiting in line for the new jordans every year or whatever but this whole like i've
Starting point is 00:04:18 got a thousand pairs of sneakers i'm obsessed with sneakers thing. It's going to recede. But no, it turns out Tumblr and whatever has made every teenager in America does this now. I would say, yeah, social media. I would say hip hop. And I would definitely say, yeah, things like Tumblr and YouTube and social media makes people post about it and talk about the culture i mean i think i mean it's funny you bring up youtube and we had a long discussion uh a couple shows ago about the guys who buy the new pair of jordans and then film themselves pissing in them whoa wait what yeah because of some sort of reason what's the sexual sexual i mean i think it's like a fetish thing but yeah oh well they're anyway they're like super into Scottie Pippen. That's what gets them off the thought of, I was like, oh man, I'm peeing on these Air Max up tempos and this is getting me so off right now. At the height of your Jordan waiting in line for, what was like your prize get? Hold on, Jordan.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Sorry. What was your grail kicks? Oh, my grail kicks? Hey, man, You know the terms. That's great. Grail kicks are what I would call are the blackened cement threes, which came out in 1988, designed by Tinker Hatfield. It's a beautiful, beautiful-looking shoe. Sorry, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:05:36 White cement threes. I think it's just an overall beautiful-looking shoe. It's the white, and it has the little elephant print on it, and it's just a great classic-looking shoe, and it goes with everything. What are you wearing now? Those are 4s, right? Yeah, these are the white cement 4s. Yeah. How are you? You're a professional menswear blogger.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Professional menswear blogger over here. Now, can I ask you a question? Yeah. Why is it that when adult men wear sneakers, specifically our Jordans, it's as if we can't cross over into that professional menswear game we're considered to be children is it just because they just they just look so ridiculous and i think it's because of the children on tumblr i i think jordans i think jordans are cool especially uh especially those earlier ones yeah the ones where there's a 10 000 different things going on a little bit much for me. But I'm on board for them.
Starting point is 00:06:27 And you know, another thing I'm on board for is a girl that likes Jordans. I think that's my urban youth speaking up there. But I like a girl in Jordans. Yeah. And there's also tumblers devoted to that. Nice pair of J's. Yeah. You know who likes Herrera Jordans?
Starting point is 00:06:45 Gillian Jacobs. Okay. No kidding. Talked to her one time about Jordans. Whoa, very interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I don't like is the resale culture and then the abuse of the resale culture. So what will happen is people will line up in line and then get these things that are called bots.
Starting point is 00:07:00 So they can get bots online on Nike.com that will just fill up their cart with the shoe and this is like uh this is like a uh this is like something on twitter that recommends porn to you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah kind of yeah those are great yeah the avatar is just boobs yeah right uh and so what people will do they'll fill up the cart they'll get all the shoes and then they'll resell the shoes there's no attachment to to it. It's just for like this quick buck. And for me, uh, the thing that gives me a lot of joy in wearing them is like the memory that I had when I was a kid and not being able to get them. And then just the pairs that I were, I was able to get and the joy that I would get when
Starting point is 00:07:37 I, when I would wear them. So this is just to, you know, to, to, you know, kind of relate this to a, you know, do it to like a, you a Comic-Con type culture. This is the leaving the action figure in the box. Yeah. And not playing with it. Well, people – I like to rock them. I don't like to stalk them.
Starting point is 00:07:52 I feel like life is short where you're Jordan's. That's kind of just like one of my – and I think that's a greater message for life. Why not pee in them while you're at it? Well, that's a little bit too much. And film it on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of just like life is short. Just really disrespect it and degrade it.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Sure. I will say this. I had decided to buy a pair of sneakers, and I hadn't bought a pair of Nike sneakers. I'm wearing Keds right now. Sure, but they look great. Thank you very much. Well, they're Mark McNary X Keds. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:20 But I hadn't bought a pair of Nikes since I bought a pair of basketball sneakers maybe five years ago to play basketball in before that, maybe three or four years before. And but I, you know, I just had this dying. I just had this feeling inside me like, oh, man, I really want a pair of these Air Maxes that I couldn't afford when I was 12 or 13 or whatever, but I could totally afford them now, and they still look super cool to me, and they're out there. I know that they exist because I saw a dude wearing a pair, but I literally didn't know how to buy them. I had to email my friend. I have a friend who does a podcast about sneakers called Sneaker Heads Unite. His name is Dallas Penn. Oh, wow. So I emailed Dallas and I said, Dallas, how do I buy these Air Max 90s?
Starting point is 00:09:13 And he had to like, he gave me this instructions. He broke it down for me. He hit me with this blog that you go to and the blog tells you like what Nike outlet has what different stuff. And then you like what Nike outlet has what different stuff. And then you call the Nike outlet. How to defeat the wizard that gives you the copper key. Exactly. And the right combination of A, A, B, B, B, B, A, A, A that you have to press when you get on the phone with the sales associate.
Starting point is 00:09:39 It's exactly like comic book culture and having a specific shoe that not a lot of people can get. And that's why I'm a little anti the movement when they go, ah, everybody has them. And I also don't like the forced supply and demand that the Nike corporation is doing, where it's just kind of like, we'll just do a super, super limited release for certain shoes, but then do a bigger release for other shoes. And I just don't like that. I want to be able to get the shoes that I really, really like. You know what?
Starting point is 00:10:03 I'm about the culture. That's why I'm all about Dia de Pesca. Yeah. Because that comes from the people, a combination of the people and the Los Angeles Department of Parks. Those two are the sources of Dia de Pesca. Do you get a sense of who won Dia de Pesca? Because it's a competition, right? It's who can catch the most fish.
Starting point is 00:10:21 You mean who won Mexicans or Filipinos? Yes. Yeah. What race? Which race is better at Mexicans or Filipinos? Yes. Yeah. What race? Which race is better at fish catching is what I'm asking. I couldn't tell, but there's still some kids fishing out there right now. And I think this thing started 8 o'clock this morning. Wow.
Starting point is 00:10:35 So they're in it for the long haul. Yeah. We're in the late afternoon as we record this right now. Okay. That's all I have to say about fish. Hopefully that's all we have to say about sneakers hopefully that's all we have to say about sneakers because everybody was oh no hold up what's happening have i ever talked about this one episode of uh bobito garcia's tv show where uh he went to biz marky's house to check out his sneakers you
Starting point is 00:10:58 haven't no oh shit oh shit okay all you all you fuckers on the MaxFun Reddit better be scouring the internet right now for the episode of Bobbito's TV show, which I think was called Kicks. I want to say it was called Kicks. It was on MTV2. And it was about sneakers. And Bobbito, who's like a legendary hip-hop DJ. Yeah. And also a legendary street basketball player and also a legendary legendary sneaker collector went to Biz Markie's house. And Biz lives in this house in like Long Island or whatever, like just a regular suburban development. Like he lives in a McMansion, basically.
Starting point is 00:11:35 So he's he kind of is he a one hit wonder? Well, no, he's he Biz Markie is a one hit wonder on the pop landscape. Okay. He has a couple of other pretty significant hip hop hits. The Vapors would be a good example of that. And also he is a major, major formative figure in hip hop. Yeah, he's a very big figure in hip hop, I would say. Yeah. And he's also one of the most important celebrity DJs in the world. So like he DJs a lot of, you know, like ditty parties and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Like he is a huge, huge international, leading international hip-hop DJ. I saw this episode, though. You saw this shit? Yeah, yeah. Right. Okay, so he goes into Biz Markie's house, which is a wholly unremarkable house. Very. As though Biz Markie doesn't live there, except they open the door to his sneaker room.
Starting point is 00:12:26 There's no furniture. None. There's nothing on the walls. Absolutely not. There's just boxes of sneakers in piles. Yeah. And Biz Markie is like, it's as though he was Scrooge McDuck jumping into a money pit. How excited Biz is to share with Bobbito all of the different, like, Clyde Frazier shoes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:51 That he has stacked up all crispy in boxes. Uh-huh. And I was blown away by, yeah, specifically the Clyde Fraziers. I was like, to be proud of that shoe. You know what I mean? Very rarely do people go Scrooge McDuck on some Clyde Fraziers. It's not like he had, you know, Air Maxes and Jays from floor to ceiling. But I respect that.
Starting point is 00:13:07 I also respect Fat Joe's shoe game, him pulling out a fresh pair of shoes, then licking the sole, putting it back in to indicate these are unworn. He licks the soles of his shoes, and that's a big thing. But like, Biz Markie lives his life. He's, I mean, what's he probably 50 or something, right? He's got to be because 1985 is 30 years ago. So he's probably 50 years old. The man essentially lives his life as a 12-year-old, maybe a 15-year-old.
Starting point is 00:13:36 But in a pretty kick-ass way. Like there's a website. I think it was on Soul Strut. There's this Web site called Soul Strut where like rare groove DJs post about different stuff. And I don't really go on this Web site. But one time a friend of mine who's who's a DJ sent me a link and said, you have to look at this. And it was just a thread of people talking about times that Biz Markie had intersected with their life and done some crazy shit. Oh, wow. It's kind of like how Bill Murray will sit there and be in your engagement photos or something. Yeah, except that it's Biz Markie calling you up at 4 a.m. even though you've never met him before because he heard that you have a transformer that he doesn't have.
Starting point is 00:14:21 That's amazing. Yeah, like Biz Markie is a fucking american hero that's all i have to say okay that's that's the end of sneakers please someone find do you do you think that show was called kicks does that sound right uh i mean you can go on youtube because i saw it on youtube okay how many episodes do you do on sneakers how many episodes did this sneaker show last i feel like you get it though well you got your fat joe episode yeah you got your fat you can do a lot the culture is pretty big as many rappers as there are i would say did this sneaker show last? I feel like you get it. Well, you got your Fat Joe episode. Yeah. You got your Fat Joe. You can do a lot.
Starting point is 00:14:47 The culture is pretty big. As many rappers as there are, I would say easily 60% of them. Okay. Have a big sneaker collection. So I guess what do you do? What is your show other than look at the famous sneaker collection of this guy? That's really all it is.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Okay. It's kind of just like a smaller version of Cars. Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah, but the thing is, is you got Bobbito. He's fun. He's like a fun, cool guy. But I see but the thing is is you got bobito he's fun he's like a fun cool guy but i see what you mean it's sort of like cribs but if cribs was only the
Starting point is 00:15:10 thing part where they open their refrigerator right and also the part where they open the refrigerator is less telling yeah oh yeah but if they were really into their like oh this is my sriracha yeah oh dude nobody has the sriracha that That would be... I would see like a Fridges crib supercut. Yeah? Or if there was like a special, like the best Fridges. That does sound like a solid. You know what? I still have in my closet, I have a pair of patent leather Jordan 1s that I bought in college at the Nike store.
Starting point is 00:15:44 Beautiful. The black ones. The black ones. The black ones? No, they're red, white, and black. Yeah, I know those ones. And I always, like, there's always when I'm, like, clearing out my closet, I think, like, maybe I should get rid of these Jordans. Like, I haven't worn these Jordans in five years.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Yeah. Like, in what part of my life do I wear Jordans, especially patent leather ones? Yeah. And I'm like, no, it's going to come up. I'm going to need these Jordans later. Yeah. Yeah. The occasional strike.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Okay. Well, we'll find out what that is when we come back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la story of how it was made. You get an inside look into the creative and technical process, and a unique view of a song by hearing just the drums, or just the guitars, or say, just a Wurlitzer piano. If you're a fan of music, if you make music, or if you just like to learn how things are made, come check it out on MaximumFun.org. Thanks. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweet you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you high school no i don't know about that but i play college college you could totally play when i when i always what i loved what i respected most about muhammad ali is how he said he was pretty he was the heavyweight champion he'd go i'm pretty i couldn't play college when i was in college you could when i
Starting point is 00:17:57 was in college people did you know you had a radio voice in college where you're like i sound like i should be on the radio no i don't think so think so. I don't use, I still, somebody will email me about that. You could play Drifter now if you wanted to. I could play Drifter. That's a good point. Yeah. Go out for some of those Drifter roles. The nice thing is that the stuff is starting to open, really possibilities are starting
Starting point is 00:18:16 to open wide for me in the miscellaneous character area. Yeah. Sure. Before I was too young to play miscellaneous guy. Now, what do we got? Ne'er-do-well? Sure. Doomsayer?
Starting point is 00:18:30 Gas station employee? Rural gas station. Oh, yeah. What about a rural gas station? Urban record store. There we go. Yeah, yeah. Portland record store.
Starting point is 00:18:43 What about you? What do you feel like the initial reaction is when people see you? Oh, you know, I feel like all the auditioning that I do and all the auditioning I've done, it's mostly for like stoner, drunk stoner. Or like someone who like is annoying one of the main characters. I constantly auditioned for How I Met Your Mother. Uh-huh. And I never got it. I never got it, but at its height, I probably auditioned for How I Met Your Mother once a month.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Wow. And it was always the same thing. It's always like someone in a store who is annoying one of the four principal characters. Got it. Like someone who's behind them in the coffee line. Got it. And is being a dick. So nuisance is in the real house.
Starting point is 00:19:24 Yeah, nuisance, pest, asshole. So yeah, I think so. Great. Although I think there was mainly maybe a little bit of a symptom of my head shots where I had some kind of goofy looking head shots. I had some new ones taken. I don't know how much more acting auditioning I want to do. Maybe ideally not a ton more.
Starting point is 00:19:47 But if the time comes to do some acting auditioning, I maybe have somewhere I don't look as annoying. I don't know. Hopefully. Did you just add a cardigan? Yeah, exactly. Same expression. I just photoshopped a cardigan onto my old ones. Yeah. They're like. I just photoshopped a cardigan onto my old ones. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:06 They're like, I like this guy. He's got a sort of, were you going to say Bing Crosby vibe? I would have to say a Bing Crosby vibe. And I have a bubble coming out of my mouth that says, I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Ah, that's great. Talking headshots are going to be new. Yeah, that's going to be the new thing. I remember when color headshots came into vogue. Part of me wants to get the classic four panel headshot.
Starting point is 00:20:29 Oh, wow. One where I'm in a cowboy outfit and then one where I'm like a scientist. Have you ever gone to the comedy store and seen all the headshots on the wall? I haven't. Very terrifying. It's very terrifying because they have headshots all the way back to like, man, early 70s. So you go, you're just like,'s taxi driver doing yeah i named taxi driver you know yeah yeah yeah the character the man is named taxi yeah like you just see a headshot of a
Starting point is 00:20:52 guy from like the early 80s it says be smooth or something and you go what's be smooth well what's really great is that like as comedy goes back further into the past before about 1993 like you could be like comedy bumblebee like that could be a thing that would get you on evening at the improv sure yeah you could get on television as the comedy bumblebee and it's a guy with a stinger on his butt uh-huh like making b puns yeah making b puns and that could get you on tv that's what comedy was then yeah just basically just commitment to any weird character but you know this brings me back to that when i whenever i do that i'll go there you know i'll do shows there whatever and i'll just like look at all the photos but then it made me realize back to that biz marquis story and he's
Starting point is 00:21:40 he's in that mcmansion and in long island and there's part of that that makes me go you know what he made it yeah like him having that asset and me knowing that he's okay yeah i bet he leads a pretty hustle free life yeah and i think that's great whereas when i watch mtv cribs and i see rick ross's house and it's in miami and then there's a in his pool there's his face in the middle of his pool i just go this must be exhausting because he all constantly has to be like look i gotta fit my face in my pool yeah what am i doing today to keep that going right you get that i mean whereas bismarck he's like i have a track house and yeah i mean trying to dig up some rare transformers like it's size of the circuit city dollars on this thing yeah and yeah sure did i have to put
Starting point is 00:22:21 in custom record shelving yeah sure i did what age do you think you guys will keep caring? What's the age where you go, I don't care anymore. I'm just about that sweat pant life. I give up. That's an interesting question. You know, I've been thinking about this a lot because, you know, I host a radio show about culture. And one of the things that I have to do for this radio program is care about culture. do for this radio program is care about culture and um once in a while i get a powerful feeling like fuck it i'm just gonna listen to the spinners forever like i'm just gonna i'm taking i'm i'm
Starting point is 00:22:56 gearing down like a trucker i'm just gonna take it into first gear and engine break you know what i mean my entire life and what that means is that it's going to be the shy lights and nothing else just nothing but vocal groups from 1973 is going to be my entire life fuck all other musicians that's great you know what i mean that's great but i can't for professional reasons yeah but that's like me kind of taking it back into first gear and just stopping when i was like 15 and go that's it it's Ja Rule and Ashanti from here on out. Why not? It brings me back to a good time, you know?
Starting point is 00:23:30 I did a thing on this week's Bullseye about lowrider oldies. Okay. And to me, what lowrider oldies, if you don't know, are this genre of music that I think like guys that drive a low rider now, they probably have a giant subwoofer in and they listen to rap music really loud. Um, but low rider oldies is this really specific genre that was, that dominated low riders, at least when I was a kid. And it's like, it's like vocal group soul music and plaintive soul ballads that run from doo-wop all the way into the late 70s. Okay. And the time is not what is important.
Starting point is 00:24:09 It's just this sort of feeling of being lovelorn, essentially. that it fits as perfectly for those dudes now that they're 60 as it did when I was, you know, when I was a little kid and they were whatever, however old they were then and 15 years before that when it was 1975 and they started liking that kind of music because they're just like, fuck it. They're just like, fuck all of you. I listened to this one really specific thing, and it's super chill. It's exactly right for being an old dude. You know, it's like, dudes, it's like, for these guys, it's like Sinatra for two generations before us.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Like, you know, any old guy could just listen to Dean Martin and Sinatra forever. That's what low-rider oldies are to these old cholos. Do you still, Jordan, do you still appreciate music the way you used to the way when you would go to tower records and open it and take off the shrink oh sure yeah definitely not and definitely like definitely like a big part of my youth was like going to shows oh wow yeah like and i mean i i just i went to shows every weekend, definitely. Where'd you grow up? Orange County.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Oh, okay. And, yeah, I mean, I try and get out to see live music, and it definitely is, like, super invigorating when I do, but, like, it's something I have to talk myself into. It's a process. Like, I, like, I was, God, on the way here, I drove by, like – what's that theater on Wilshire? The Wiltern? The Wiltern. The Wiltern. I saw that Ted Leo and Amy Mann's kind of duet project is going to be there tonight.
Starting point is 00:25:54 And I bought that album and I love that album. It's terrific. It's one of the best new things that I've been listening to in a long time. And you've been a Ted Leo fan. I mean, we had Ted Leo on The Sound of Young America because you booked it when we were still in college 10 years ago. Oh, sure, yeah. 12 years ago. Was he on our college radio show?
Starting point is 00:26:15 I forget. Yeah, he was. I totally forget that. Yeah, anyways, but yeah, like tonight I'm going to a co-worker's cocktail party, which is going to be very, very fun. But, you know, if this was younger, if I was younger, I would have dropped everything to go see this show. But, yeah, so I definitely felt weird driving over here going like, oh, I would like to go to that. But I'm doing something infinitely more adult than seeing this show.
Starting point is 00:26:44 It is strange i got strange i got offered a ticket the other day by a publicist and i just don't you don't super often get offered tickets by publicists because i never take them but i got offered a ticket by a publicist excuse me to go see eels here in los angeles and uh steve perry is with eels now i have no emotional connection to steve perry which many and uh steve perry is with eels now i have no emotional connection to steve perry which many people do steve perry uh the longtime lead singer of journey really who had what does he do with eels sings journey songs and eel songs wow so basically basically here's the deal he had stage fright right yeah he just quit singing um i don't know if what it was
Starting point is 00:27:23 specifically uh if it was stage fright or what, but he had not performed, and I think it was at all, in 13 years. And, you know, I mean, this is one of the most popular singers of the last 25 years. And then just on the Internet two weeks ago, just a video, Steve Perry sings with eels in Minneapolis. And it was a trip. And I actually really like eels. And Mark E. from Eels was on the show before, and he was really nice.
Starting point is 00:27:57 And he lives in my neighborhood. I've run into him at the grocery store. I like him a lot, and I like the band a lot. And it's like this crazy, weird, historic thing to see this legendary pop rock singer, maybe the greatest singer of that type of music ever performing
Starting point is 00:28:15 with a really super credible, mopey indie rock band. Yeah. And I knew as soon as he offered, I was like, yeah, I'm not going to that. Nope. Got to go home and take care of my family.
Starting point is 00:28:29 Wow. Yeah. That was it. I can't. I can't go, really. I can't just go to something. Yeah. Not on the cards.
Starting point is 00:28:36 I definitely, if I, there used to be, I mean, at the peak of my show going, if I missed something, if something came through town and I didn't go to see it, it was a little bit of a rain man thing. Wow. It like a little bit like someone threw down toothpicks and i'm like i need to cancel everything and see this because if i don't see this i won't have seen it what was the age where it stopped what was the age was it more about responsibility yours was more this sounds like there was two different things i used used to go – when I was in college, I was – I went to three shows a month, which in Santa Cruz really took some doing. I mean we would drive up to – there would be one or two – like I like rap music. So one or two hip-hop shows in Santa Cruz a month and then we'd be going to Stanford or we'd be going up to San Francisco or we'd be going up to the East Bay or whatever.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Stanford or we'd be going up to San Francisco or we'd be going up to the East Bay or whatever. And then after I graduated from college, I was with my wife and she likes rap music. She doesn't she's not super into going to rap concerts. So it just sort of tapered off. Yeah. But I still would go periodically. But then when I had kids, it was just clunk, hammer dropped. Haven't been haven't been. I don't think I've been to a show since I had my kid.
Starting point is 00:29:42 OK. It was two, almost three years ago now. What's your what's your live music going to man i it really wakes me up as a performer it would just it just wakes me up especially the way the direction a lot of hip-hop acts and stuff are going i went to go see jay-z and kanye west uh that was amazing watch this their own was incredible see that's the thing come out on things out on things. Yeah. I have never been to a concert bigger than amphitheater size, bigger than 2,000 or 1,500. And of that, I saw Aerosmith when I was in sixth grade. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:20 I was in sixth grade. Okay. I saw D'Angelo on the Voodoo Tour, and I saw Usher when I got free tickets for Usher. Usher was pretty great, actually. No, no, no. Usher was great. You don't have to qualify that. Usher. And it was Usher, Nas, and Faith Hill.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Okay. Sounds like a blast. Faith Hill. Wait, not Faith Evans. Faith Evans. Not Faith Hill, the country singer. That would be an awesome lineup. Great triple bill.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Great triple bill. Faith Evans can sing her ass off. Opening cannibal corpse. Just throw in something else. She does not know how to put on a show at all. It was like her and two backup dancers and nothing else. But holy crap, can she sing. And Nas was boring uh even though i actually like naz and don't care that much about usher but um anyway so like i've been to a couple
Starting point is 00:31:14 of those amphitheater type shows but outcast are coming to uh the arena here oh yeah the bet experience the bet experience i kind of want to i kind of want to go to the BET experience. Yeah. And, you know, Outkast are my favorite hip-hop group of all time. And I've never seen them in concert. Like, they, by the time I was, you know, old enough to really go to shows, they had stopped doing shows. Right. So, yeah, like, on the one hand i want to go on the other
Starting point is 00:31:48 hand i'm like this could be lame and then i would be really disappointed that i spent three hundred dollars or whatever so what gives you the chills what rattles the cages for you now you know i still have uh a fucking yeah hard yeah intense fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom. Especially just like illicit gay sex, like just out in the fucking woods. Right. Sure.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Just a random dude that I haven't met. He's just pounding my ass. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Just because I'm married. I'm getting into... Publicly I'm straight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm getting into jazz now.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Just like jazz. Melo jazz. Time signatures really gives you a boner? Sure, yeah. You know, a prejudice that I still have from my young days of going to shows is like the smaller the place, the better. Okay. Like when you go to punk rock shows, you're like, oh, were they playing? Oh, that's pretty big, you know.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Right, right, right. So, yeah, I definitely still turn up my nose at, like, amphitheater-y type things. I definitely want to see something in a small room, as small a room as possible. Uh-huh. So, yeah, definitely when I'm in a small room seeing a band, I'm like, yeah, this is it. This is where it's at. This room is so small. Right, right, right.
Starting point is 00:33:01 Yeah, there's 80 people here. Right, right, right. So I definitely feel like when I go to something and it's small, I'm like, yeah, this is the best. I'll tell you one thing that makes me feel like I'm about to die. Three or four years ago, I got in a car accident. I was rear-ended, and I got a back injury. It's not that severe of a back injury. It's a bummer, but it's not crippling or anything.
Starting point is 00:33:24 It doesn't prevent me from doing anything but uh one thing that i learned is a couple years ago we had mavis staples on the show and she was doing a show um literally uh at the bottom of the hill where i lived like six blocks from my house and the staple singers are one of my favorite groups of all time i went down to see mavis staples and i like couldn't stand up the whole time oh wow like i was like oh no this is a real problem like i can only stand up for about 45 minutes straight like and a concert is three hours long very humbling and when you're in a club there's nowhere to sit down unless you're one of the people who like threw bows to like catch one of the 20 seats in the club.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Yeah. And it was a real bummer. The same thing happened to me. My wife and I went to see one of my favorite jazz singers, Jose James, out in Santa Monica. And the same thing happened. We watched two thirds of the show and I was like, I don't think I can stand up anymore i have to go home and it was like that sucks is that why companies just they stop after that 35 year old mark because they go look your legs and knees can't even handle watching or consuming any of this stuff i think so i think that's i think that's how demographics
Starting point is 00:34:39 work because after 35 maybe it's just like look they don't have the time resources or mental energy to even give a shit anymore yeah well that's why even cater yeah exactly i mean with the exception of dr scholls who do very well in that market yeah dr scholls knows that it's 35 have you guys seen dr scholls live dude it's a different experience you hear that you hear the record and you're like yeah this is good but there's an energy there i saw him on a double bill with dr dog and it was a it was a hell of a show. Yeah. Oh yeah, you're going to want to take some shrooms before that. Well, I'll tell you when you want to take some shrooms. When you
Starting point is 00:35:12 see them with Dr. John. With the night tripper and he's doing the whole that's what you want to. Sure. And of course when Dr. Demento comes out. Hawks his bicycle horn. Here's a, this is on the topic of live music. I think I mentioned this. Is it Dr. Demento?
Starting point is 00:35:32 It's the doctor's tour. One time Dr. Demento. Dr. Phil comes out and yells at everyone. One time Dr. Demento was on the Sound of Young America. You know what Dr. Demento's like? Dr. Demento? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:43 A hundred percent. I could have guessed. Yeah. I talked have guessed. Yeah. I talked a couple months ago. Well, months ago on the show, when did this happen? Anyway, a couple months back, me and a buddy of mine went to see Chance the Rapper. Okay. And the surprise was that we were the oldest guys there.
Starting point is 00:36:01 Wow. Easy. I mean, it was kids. It's all just like high school kids yeah whose moms dropped them off at this thing okay and it was so it was super super weird and you know we we just felt bizarre and uh we're kind of like sitting there waiting for the show to start you know just drinking these you know giant 12 dollar nokia center beers uh- center beers and just feeling weird about ourselves. And my buddy is talking to a, he's talking to, he starts talking to the guy sitting next
Starting point is 00:36:32 to us, which is weird. I'm like, well, I don't know. Neither of us knows what to do. Who cares? Go for it. Yeah. And he just, and I'm just kind of like spacing out and there's like a DJ on stage at this point, kind of just doing nothing interesting at all and my buddy taps me and he says hey give me 40 and for whatever reason i
Starting point is 00:36:52 just gave it to him i didn't really know i didn't what are you gonna say it did yeah yeah jack's asking you for 40 bucks you just say yes so i give it so i give you – If you got the 40 on you. Oh, I've got the 40. Here's the thing. On Monday nights, I coach a sketch group. These guys are paying me in cash. Oh, okay. So I'm always rolling with about 80 bucks in cash at all times. I thought you did the thing where you were a Boy Scout and you went to the Wells Fargo ATM that's right outside of Nokia Center and goes, I may need cash in there. That's right.
Starting point is 00:37:22 My buddy might ask me for $40. Yeah. And goes, I may need cash in there. That's right. My buddy might ask me for $40. Yeah. So I give him the 40 ducks and then he hands me this tiny plastic bag and he's like, I just bought Molly from this guy. Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:33 I should probably do it. Uh-huh. And just, I mean, just out of, this is maybe 50% curiosity, 50% discomfort. Okay. Sure. That's a drug that is popular in mixed company, generally. Oh, sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Like, oh, that you will try and fuck on it? Yeah. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah. I don't know. Jack's a nice guy. Okay. He's a cool dude. You know, we get along pretty well.
Starting point is 00:37:58 There's some woods outside. Yeah, exactly. There's some woods. You know what I've always been fascinated with drug culture culture is that like, especially in the United States, we don't trust each other at all. It's like, I don't want you to check my internet history, personal boundaries, blah, blah, blah. And then you will literally consume something. Right.
Starting point is 00:38:15 From some random. Yeah. In hindsight, this was dangerous and stupid. Yeah. I should not have done this. But people do it all the time. Sure. And that's really interesting to me.
Starting point is 00:38:24 That juxtaposition is really funny. How was the experience? Was it really good? It was great. We had so much fun. So, I mean, I guess my solution, I guess the takeaway from this is, you know, if you feel weird and sometimes you do get a little too old for live music. Sure. Just do some drugs.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Do some drugs. I just assumed that your takeaway from this was going to be that you really missed out on raves. I know. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I never went to a rave. That's definitely something that people my age are nostalgic about.
Starting point is 00:38:52 They like to talk about the first rave they went to, and I just can't hang out in that conversation. Like, I, as listeners probably know, I'm generally speaking edge um but uh ecstasy was the one drug that i've always been curious about because i've always heard such great things yeah i mean well yeah this is an ecstasy specifically but it was really fun i mean we just kind of walked around we went to like a bar afterwards and we must have been the most obnoxious guys in there i remember us having a loud conversation about like literally the meaning of life. Like we literally were two fucked up guys talking about the meaning of life.
Starting point is 00:39:30 There was a point where my wife and I had this conversation and I was like, you know, if I ever did drugs, I feel like I would do ecstasy or one of those new ecstasies, which is what your Molly's in your MDMA. For me, it's Psychedelic Mushrooms, hands down. See, now my wife had already done that. And that was only done and that was only introduced through Steve Jobs' biography. That's it. When they said he would go out and he'd go into fields and have the whole vision thing and that's why why he thought he was better than, you know, Bill Gates, because Bill Gates was kind of a square bear. And he's like, no, I did mushrooms and I did acid and it expanded my mind. And I'm like, that's how you invent the iMac.
Starting point is 00:40:12 I'm in. I had this conversation with my wife and she said, you know, I have a friend who could probably get us some like maybe we should do it. And I was like, yeah, maybe we should do it. And I was pretty serious about it. Like, you know, like we're adults, like we should do it. And I was pretty serious about it. Like, you know, like, we're adults. Like, we can do this safely. Like, granted, it's illegal, but it might be kind of cool, you know? And it's not going to lead me down to, like,
Starting point is 00:40:34 I'm pretty comfortable with the fact that it's not going to lead me down a path of drug excess. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think when you, I think to get drugs, if you need your wife's friend to help you, you're not a guy. It's not going to be shoved in your face at multiple junctures. Well, I had called Chance the Rapper, and his line was busy. Oh, sure. So I just, my wife's friend.
Starting point is 00:40:58 Yeah. And then we didn't get it together. Then we had a baby, and now we'll never do it. That's the end of that. Like, who's going to, who would I do the drugs with? It's not, I would want to do them with my wife. Oh, you're not going to be one of those parents that smokes the weed with the kids? There's one in my building.
Starting point is 00:41:18 I can tell because she pushes around her baby, and she's stanky. Oh, okay. Like, gross smelly. Uh-huh. But that's not that. I don't feel like, I feel like marijuana is the least bad. Yeah. around her baby and she's stanky. Oh, okay. Like gross smelly. But that's not that. I don't feel like, I feel like marijuana is the least bad. Yeah. Like I think, I think the problem is I don't, I don't really advocate.
Starting point is 00:41:39 I think it's probably a bad idea to use marijuana and take care of kids. But certainly out of all of the possible intoxicants, it's the one I would pick. But I do think that like something like genuinely big time mind altering. One of my favorite intoxicants of choice right now is yerba mate green tea. I love doing a brew of that. Yeah. I'm actually, yeah. Just yerba mate. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:01 Hey, man. I'm actually like you. I don't do any drugs or alcohol or anything like that. I just can't function without it. If I stay out too late, I feel like I'm like, what am I doing? I'm really fucked up right now. Can I tell you, we had a show last night, a fantastic show. Our thanks to our friends, my brother, my brother, and me, the McElroy brothers, for inviting us to do that show.
Starting point is 00:42:20 It was a real blast. Thanks to everyone who came out. And we went to an Indian restaurant beforehand. and Jordan had a friend who worked there, and we didn't even know was going to be there, but we ran into him, and we ordered dinner. And as is often nicely the case when you run into someone you know that works at the restaurant that you're at, a couple of things came out that we had in order that were, like, fun things. And one of them was little tiny chais, two little tiny chais. In like shot glasses.
Starting point is 00:42:50 In shot glasses. Like we're looking at three and a half ounces each of chai. I drank that chai. And because I hadn't had any caffeine except for the occasional chai that someone brought me in four or five years or however long it's been, I was fucking flying. Four ounces of chai that someone brought me in 45 years or however long it's been i was fucking flying four ounces of chai i was ready to like fight somebody i was like ready to like how was your did you get to sleep that night i did get to sleep that night i know i crashed i i was by the time our show started i was like starting to go downhill Like it literally lasted 90 minutes or two hours. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:26 And I was like, I love timing it out like 30 minutes or 40 minutes before a performance. Yeah. Ooh. And then it hits you in the clarity. All of a sudden you're fucking Dane cook. We're out there. Boom,
Starting point is 00:43:39 boom, boom, boom. Yeah. Getting a power squat. Exactly. And then I'm just, I feel like I'm in the Matrix and I took the right pill.
Starting point is 00:43:46 And I'm like, okay, I can see it all. You're selling those jokes. Speaking of Rain Man feeling like he needs to count all the toothpicks. There's a joke that I wanted to make in our show last night but didn't get a chance to. Can I make it here? I would love to hear the joke. This is a safe place. Yeah, thanks, guys.
Starting point is 00:44:03 And it may be that people hear this show that we did last night a few weeks from now. Sure, yeah, yeah. Assuming the recording came out okay. I haven't listened to it yet. We might use it as a fill-in show if we're on vacation or something like that. So, you know, this is going to be an interesting transposition of time. Yeah, I mean, I'll have to do a little bit of setup. And, again, I don't want to step on what we talked about right uh on the show but i think this is it's worth sharing and it
Starting point is 00:44:28 definitely did keep me up a little bit that i didn't get this off and you know just for my for my peace of mind thank you guys for letting me yeah do this uh so a big i think you know definitely the the audience favorite topic um last night that we talked about was the fact that I recently shaved my balls and pubic hair for the first time. Just shaved, you know. Not trying to brag. Not soup to nuts. About the shave. Shaved it off.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Not trying to brag about the shave or the fact that it was the audience's favorite topic. Keep going. or the fact that it was the audience's favorite topic. Keep going. So, yeah, I don't want to, you know, that whole story will be on the show if we release it. So, you know, listen to it when it comes out. But just as the setup, I have recently, for the first time, shaved off my pubic hair. And you and I and our friend Janet Varney had a discussion. Yeah, we got into it so um
Starting point is 00:45:27 you know a lot of people say that when you uh shave off your pubic hair your penis will look bigger because of an optical illusion uh mine doesn't look any bigger but people can't seem to tell if it's a face or two vases is that worth going back back for? That was a lot of fun. Thanks. Can I tell you... How do you think that would have done at the show? Would not have done well. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:49 No. I'm glad we... My brother, my brother, and me fans would not have liked that joke. That's a solid joke. Arguably, they didn't like the topic of discussion. The two people that came to see us, I think they would have enjoyed it. Oh, good. We actually, you know, we actually went, it went really well.
Starting point is 00:46:05 It was really fun. And we got some great reviews on Twitter. And I thought this was one of the best reviews we've ever gotten. I wanted to share it. Sure. It was from Ham Medley. This was a review of our show. At Ham Medley?
Starting point is 00:46:19 No, at Big Nosed Bully. Oh, okay. Who calls him or herself Ham Medley. Okay. And it was a review of our show with our friend Janet Varney, which we did last night. Watching Jordan Jesse go. And this girl is Jill Varney and on Cora, I guess. Pretty funny guys.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Oh. That's, wow. You know, that makes it all worth it. Yeah. That's what you do this for. That makes it all worth it. I'm sorry that you've never gotten a review like that, Hasan, I assume. Oh, I've gotten some terrible.
Starting point is 00:46:49 I've gotten ripped a new one on Reddit. Yeah, well, because you're so lousy. But we're really good, so we get awesome reviews like that. Right. I'm not trying to be a dick or anything. I'm just spitting facts. If that's the worst it gets. I'm a raw truth soldier.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Sure. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Moore's boy detective. The Samanaj, young, brown, and pretty. He is, folks. Sponsors on this week's program are friends at Hulu Plus.
Starting point is 00:47:24 You've heard of Hulu. Why don't you kick it up a notch? Boom, as Emeril would say. There's all sorts of episodes of your favorite shows on Hulu Plus. Family Guy, Parks and Recreation, The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and entire runs of Community and South Park. Every single episode of Community and South Park. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:47:43 We've looked into whether they have any episodes of Emeril sitcom. We do not know yet. We do not know yet, but we do think he still has the potential for a hit show in him, a hit fictional show in him. He's got a lot of talent. I'm looking into combining him with a hologram of celebrity chef, Paul Prudhomme. I'm not being combining him with a hologram of celebrity chef Paul Prudhomme.
Starting point is 00:48:05 I'm not being paid to say this, but I will say that the interface of Hulu Plus on PS3 is fantastic. That is a nice interface. I agree with you on that. It's a really great, easy-to-use interface. Before my PS3 bricked, I had Hulu Plus on it. Great interface. Wait, your PS3 bricked? It did, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:21 Oh, wait. PS3 is not the new one. No, I got a PS4, and it's doing just fine. Okay, well, the good news is, no matter what you have, Hulu works on it. Rokus, Apple TVs, Xboxes, Playstations, basically anything, and you also get access
Starting point is 00:48:36 to their original shows, like their show Deadbeat, a comedy about a pot-smoking guy who talks to ghosts. Speaking of Hulu Plus and fresh catchphrases that are still in the ether, it's time to make the donuts and it's time to sign up for Hulu Plus. You go to huluplus.com slash JJ Go and you get two free weeks. That's huluplus.com slash JJ Go.
Starting point is 00:48:58 And we also want to thank our good friends at Earwolf. You know, Earwolf... You know, Earwolf is... Earwolf is an old-timey car piloted by Jay Lidow. That goes putt, putt, putt all the way around Burbank. Earwolf makes some of our favorite non-MaxFun shows, shows that we have been guests on, shows that past Jordan Jesse Go guests have hosted or do host, continue to host, Sklarbro Country, How Did This Get Made, Comedy Bang Bang, all kinds of great shows.
Starting point is 00:49:34 But did you know that they also have a cool website called Earwolf.com? It sounds like a fun place to hang out. Yeah, just go there, hang out. You know what I recommend you do? Find an episode of a show that Jordan or I have been the guest on. Go into their discussion thread for that episode and say, hey, Jordan or Jesse were really good on this. I should check out Jordan, Jesse, go. I bet that's really good.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Right? Yeah. Spam their forums. Spam their forums. Spam their forums. No, our sincere thanks, our very sincere thanks to our friends at Earwolf. So head over to Earwolf.com. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica.
Starting point is 00:50:11 Go. It's Jordan, Jesse. Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart., la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goe. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Moore's boy detective. Hasan Minhaj. Young. Brown.
Starting point is 00:50:31 Kind. Yeah. You know what? That's true, too. Yeah. Although. That's as true as the other one, I'd say. He's as kind as he is pretty.
Starting point is 00:50:40 I kind of feel like it's a sort of a transparent play to be the next Dalai Lama. Yeah. And that's not how you get to become the Dalai Lama. You have to kill the Dalai Lama. That's Highlander. There can be only Dalai Lama. And usually
Starting point is 00:50:59 Dalai Lamas in training don't plug their ascension to becoming the next Dalai Lama. That's very against the way. Hey guys, come um come see me at largo next week i'm trying to become the next dolly llama so just get out there on twitter the real next dolly llama is doing wtf right now um i thought i do want to know about i want to know about this uh i want to know about this uh world stand-up comedy after operation that you're running it's called stand-up comedy operation that you're running. It's called Stand Up Planet. I did a – about a year and a half ago, we filmed this.
Starting point is 00:51:31 The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation approached us about this opportunity where they said, look, we want to find new and interesting ways to convey the narrative of kind of life around the world. I can tell you what it is. Mosquito nets. Look, what they wanted was They wanted some jokes about mosquito nets. Look, this is the thing. They didn't want poverty porn. They didn't want like a meet Mabutu
Starting point is 00:51:57 for 17 cents a day. They wanted to find a new and interesting narrative. But you do have a soundtrack by Sarah McLachlan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And. You had to sleep with Bono. Right, right, right.
Starting point is 00:52:09 All that work. Had to or got to. Yeah. Yeah, fair enough. He leaves the goggles on, everybody. That's part of that fucking Bono. So they, which would have been, that's great. That would be super fun.
Starting point is 00:52:21 But. Bill and Melinda, if you're listening, thank you so much for giving us on this show. Right, right, right, right. And we were like, well, there's these stand-up comedy scenes that are springing up around the world in Egypt and South Africa and Nigeria and a lot of comics on South Africa and India. And a lot of comics are getting on stage and they are talking about a lot of the their day-to-day life and some of that stuff includes HIV and AIDS awareness sanitation issues mosquito nets uh pooping in holes so uh Bill and Melinda Gates they had this initiative to reinvent the toilet in India and so they said let's follow the joke into comedians lives and there's comedians that were talking about some of that stuff there's comedians on stage talking about gender roles and
Starting point is 00:53:03 stuff like that let's talk about that and follow their joke into their life and see how true that is. In South Africa, comics were talking about HIV and AIDS awareness and losing loved ones to HIV and AIDS and the cultural shame that's attached to that. So we followed their life to be like, you know, this is like real life. It's not contrived from a joke book.
Starting point is 00:53:21 When you say we, does that mean that you traveled the world talking to these people and visiting their pooh bowls? Correct. That's cool. Yeah. That sounds fun. Where'd you go? We went to Mumbai and we went to Johannesburg.
Starting point is 00:53:32 So for this first iteration, we went to Mumbai. We met a bunch of comedians there. And then we went to South Africa at Johannesburg and then met a bunch of comedians there. Then brought back a couple of the comedians from India and South Africa here to the States to perform, you know, with me, some of my friends, James Adomian, Michelle Buteau, Nate Bargatze. And then we all got to interview Norman Lear and Carl Reiner and Bill Cosby, who are all advisors on the project. So we kind of shared this global comedy experience, which is really rad. Had you ever been to, had you ever been to either of those cities? I'd been to India a bunch, but I had not been to Mumbai specifically.
Starting point is 00:54:05 And the scene there is incredible. Where does someone do comedy there? I mean, there's not like clubs, right? Yeah. So now... It's on top of a tuk-tuk. Yeah, yeah. And now comedy clubs are starting to like spring up.
Starting point is 00:54:16 Oh, huh. So what's so crazy is seeing... I mean, and maybe this is just out of virtue of just like sheer population. You'll see a comic start to become really big. And then they'll just tweet out a random black box theater or a cafe that they're performing at and it'll just be packed that night oh cool but now they have like traditional comedy clubs that are in like strip malls and you like go and you still you have to buy chicken fingers and yeah no matter where i'm Miller like yeah yeah this guy knows what i'm talking about just in whatever respective
Starting point is 00:54:41 language yeah my uh my dad used to go to mumbai a lot for work and i remember you know he's he's been many days you used to uh used to work in third world development actually and um the thing that he would say about mumbai was it was the most intense city that he had ever been to more than china including bangkok i don't know i don't he i don't think i don't remember him ever going to china but more than bangkok more than you know all these different places that he went to like mumbai was like the most teeming of teeming cities yeah i think everybody at one point in their life should go to india specifically a big country a big city like delhi or mumbai because literally everything is just right in your face inches away so it's just like poverty excess people animals brick
Starting point is 00:55:27 everything is just like right there it's a it's uh it's it's unlike anything you've ever chicken fingers chicken fingers comedy ten dollar miller lights the differences between men and women yeah everybody's on tinder these days right um so yeah where did you guys perform when you uh brought him to america we performed at the laugh factory here and coincidentally i actually went over there and i performed at there they had a comedy store over there oh wow the mumbai comedy store which they have a rooster tea feathers yeah cockatiel do sure uh both of those places both uh south africa and india obviously have a lot of people that speak English. Are people doing comedy in English or in a mix or in different – So at the English-speaking stand-up comedy clubs, people would mainly do English, but they would switch into –
Starting point is 00:56:17 like if I was in Johannesburg, someone would switch into Tawana or Zulu or whatever, and they would maybe do a joke where they're like, joke, joke, joke, da-da-da-da, and then da-da-da-da, in like a language I don't understand, and I'm like, oh, it's da. And then da, da, da, da. And like a language I don't understand. And I'm like, oh, it's da, da, da, da. Because the laugh was on da, da, da, da. Like I miss. But you know what's one thing that was cool is that you can tell who's funny. Like there's just a rhythm and cadence to people that are funny.
Starting point is 00:56:35 And so, yeah, like. Also, there's a group of people in the club. Uh-huh. And a lot of times if you listen to them, you can hear they make a noise that indicates funniness. Yeah. Yeah. And that was really incredible. But, yeah, I performed at, you know, black box theaters and just I performed.
Starting point is 00:56:56 I just kind of like immersed myself in the scene. It was pretty rad. That sounds pretty awesome. It was amazing. Who is your number one comedian from uh uh comedian from a third world nation that you wreck well these are second world nations yeah india second mix of second and third world nations depending on where you are right um that you recommend people could like look up a youtube clip of or something yeah one of my favorite comedians out of india is his
Starting point is 00:57:21 name's uh tanmay bhatt t-a-n-m-A-Y-B-H-A-T-T. He's hilarious. I call him Indian Ian Carmel. It's so funny going to other countries and being like, oh, you're like the South African version of this guy that exists in the States. That's really interesting. That was really funny to me where I'm just like, oh, hey, what's up, South African Matt Besser? Like you kind of like look like him and you have his cadences. Oh, I'm so excited to meet South African Matt Besser besser it's just like super high super cranky yeah yeah i'm
Starting point is 00:57:49 south africa yeah and i'm just like always talking about arkansas razorbacks football and so uh yeah and then in south africa one of the funniest comics up there he's very very very big i mean a lot of people already know about tre Trevor Noah, who's here in the States now. But I would say Louiso Gola is very, very funny. That's really exciting. And this is going on PBS, right? This is on PBS right now. And it is streaming. If you do not check your local listings, it's streaming on standupplanet.org.
Starting point is 00:58:20 You can check it out. It's just streaming. Oh, that's awesome. I'm glad because I literally don't get PBS. Hmm. Good work, PBS Los Angeles system. There is, if you don't have cable in Los Angeles... But you get KCT and it's on KCT.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Oh, there you go. Yeah. What is on KCT out of curiosity? There is a show called... Hello, Southern California. It's called Masters of Aviation that is like one of their... Is literally one of their like building block shows. It is a show about airplanes.
Starting point is 00:58:48 Okay. Uh, and it's not, it's just like, it's not, that has no, it's just fucking airplanes. They'll rerun some California's gold on there too.
Starting point is 00:58:58 Okay. They have a, yeah, they got a pretty deep well of California's gold episodes. Kuhlhauser is a big part of their, okay. Yeah. They, what the thing is, is, like, they don't even get the A crop of international television programs, because that has been licensed to the PBS stations locally.
Starting point is 00:59:14 So they're airing, like, weird ITV shows from England that aren't even that popular in England. Uh-huh. And, like, trying to... Yeah, it's a real situation. Okay. It's a real situation. But everyone gets it. But everyone gets it because it's the strongest.
Starting point is 00:59:30 What happened is, for folks who don't know, Los Angeles' PBS station left PBS, like, two years ago. Oh, wow. They just told PBS to go fuck themselves because they didn't like paying for PBS affiliation. And now they air a mix of insightful documentaries produced by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and weird shows about aviation history. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:52 Good to know. Hey, you want to do Momentous Occasions? I'd love to. So would I. When something momentous happens to you, our listeners, we have you call us. Our number, 206-984-4FUN, 206-984-4FUN. For a segment called Momentous Occasions, let's hear the first call. Hi, Jordan.
Starting point is 01:00:10 Hi, Jesse. Can I guest? I'm coming in with a moment of horror, I guess, because I was just walking down the street to the grocery store like a normal person, and something flew into my head, and it was a crow, a living crow just flew into my head. And I went to the grocery store and was so in shock that I just bought some lemons and left because I couldn't remember what I was doing because a crow flew into my head. And now I need to shave off my hair and burn it.
Starting point is 01:00:50 I don't know what to do. I think this might be an omen of some kind. Yeah, it's an omen that you weren't taking crows seriously. Well, I mean, you know, I understand that we're quick to blame the crow. Is it possible? That crows are evil. Yes. Is it possible that they're plotting against us?
Starting point is 01:01:11 Yes. This young lady had corn hair. Seems unlikely. I'm just saying. Listen, I'm with you. I understand why you don't trust crows. I'm just saying I think we should probably check and make sure this young lady didn't have some sort of corn hair that the crow
Starting point is 01:01:29 was trying to get. You know what she should have bought when she went into that grocery store? Crow poison. Oh yeah. Crow gun. You're going to want to get those at Kroger. Seriously, I fucking hate crows. Fuck you, cr crows if you're a bullshit bird you make the world a worse place you're mean you're ugly i saw a crow repeatedly attacking these two birds that were trying to defend their nest over and over and over and over and over was it a corn
Starting point is 01:02:03 nest that now see now that I couldn't tell. Yeah. I think it's unlikely that the woman had corn hair, but whether it was a corn nest is tough for me to say. Could have been kernels in there. Could have been silk. Sure. Husk.
Starting point is 01:02:16 Silk from the husk. Mm-hmm. Seems possible. Yeah. I'm just saying. I mean, if you're a crow, you're going to try and get the corn. No, you don't answer the questions. You just ask them. I get it. I'm just trying. I mean, if you're a crow, you're going to try and get the corn. No, you don't answer the questions. You just ask them.
Starting point is 01:02:27 I get it. I'm just trying to be provocative here. You know what also sucks about being a crow, though, is that your image. That you suck so much. Yeah, but. That's what sucks about being a crow. You're such a fucking asshole. But you know how certain animals just don't look nice and people don't like them?
Starting point is 01:02:41 Crows are kind of like that. You know how certain animals are always getting together and coming up with schemes to fuck with people? Like hyenas? No, like crows. Okay. Do hyenas fuck with people?
Starting point is 01:02:52 Oh, yeah. I went on a safari in South Africa. Are they the crows of mammals? And you know what's interesting is that one of the people there was like, hyenas have a really bad rep. They're actually not that bad.
Starting point is 01:02:59 And I'm like, no, they were in collusion with Scar to kill Mufasa. They're horrible people. Oh, sure. You know a little something about Africa. Yeah. You went down there to give those people a piece of your mind.
Starting point is 01:03:09 That I did. I've seen the Lion King. That I did. That was your big... That's how I made all my judgments of the animals, based on their role in the Lion King. Oh, yeah. So when I saw that warthog, I was like, Puma and Timon? That was your big opener when you got down there.
Starting point is 01:03:22 Yeah. When you hit the stage there in Johannesburg. You said, yeah, I know a little something about Africa. I've seen the Lion King. So where's these karate monkeys you guys have, right? Those monkeys that know karate. And I had them at Lion King. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:37 Let's take our next call. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, go. This is Dylan from Kansas City with Momentous Occasion. Me and my girlfriend were just driving home and passed a sign pointing towards the north, and it just said the words, diaper party. All right. Have a great day. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:56 Nice. Sounds like they stumbled upon some adult baby shit. Yeah. Diaper party. Somebody called Kevin Allison. Right. I just assume called Kevin Allison. Right. I just assume that Kevin Allison's into anything that I hear about. Or at least knowledgeable about.
Starting point is 01:04:10 Sure, yeah. And positive and encouraging towards. I love that guy. Diaper party. Is there anything else it could be? I mean, I guess maybe it's, you know. I think what it is is it's a party. I think the literal, there's two things diaper party
Starting point is 01:04:27 is one is i think it's like a uh baby shower type situation where everybody brings diapers so that the mom doesn't have to buy diapers for the first whatever yeah it's three six months right uh but i think a lot of people use that as a cover for adult baby fucking. Gotcha. I mean, it's those two. So I think it's those two things, about 50-50. Yeah. Like if a couple is having a baby shower and you maybe notice that the woman isn't pregnant or it seems like she should be showing more, maybe they're just into adult baby shit.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Right. baby shit right or like if you show up to what you think is a baby shower and you you know things are moving along normally but you notice that you're erect it's probably one of those adult baby things or that you're um you're lubricated yeah it's probably depending on your gender it's probably a hard conversation to have later is that like, hey, we brought you all that stuff. Did you guys ever have that baby? Like, oh no, we lost it. They're just using it for sex.
Starting point is 01:05:30 Right. Yeah. Anyway, but you can't say anything. Yeah. Did Teresa have baby showers? Teresa had a baby shower the first time,
Starting point is 01:05:39 but not the second time. Is that gauche to have two baby showers or do you usually? No, it's not necessarily gauche. But we were, you know, maybe we would have if we lived in the same place as all of Teresa's relatives that wanted to have a baby shower. Maybe we would have if we were having a girl after we were having a boy.
Starting point is 01:06:04 But the truth was there just wasn't any stuff we wanted people to buy us. Sure. But the truth was there just wasn't any stuff we wanted people to buy us. There was like Teresa's parents and like a couple of aunts got together and bought us a new car seat or something. I don't remember. There was some practical thing that we actually needed and they insisted on buying us something. And we're like, well, you could get us a new car seat. But, you know, we don't need any more blankies. All anyone buys you at a baby shower, by the way, is blankies. Blankies and stuffed animals.
Starting point is 01:06:34 Those assholes. No, I'm just saying. Those thoughtful assholes. If you're going to a baby shower, just don't bring a blankie and don't bring uh a stuffy sure and don't bring newborn clothes that's three things you shouldn't bring why what's wrong with newborn clothes bring three to six or six to twelve clothes because everybody else is going to bring newborn clothes because newborn clothes are so cute newborn clothes only last for like a month and you already have too many anyway and newborns don't wear clothes because they don't leave the house because they're newborns.
Starting point is 01:07:09 And all you're doing is crawling around your house trying to put enough food in your mouth, in your baby's mouth, that no one dies. You're not like headed off to a christening in newborn clothes. Right. So it needs to look really cute. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Spread it out a little bit.
Starting point is 01:07:30 Get a three to six. Get a six to 12. There's nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't go that much further beyond that because then you're burdening them with storage. Right. Just buy it an adult tuxedo. Yeah. Because it's going to need a tux.
Starting point is 01:07:40 It's going to need to go to a prom. It's going to have to go to prom. Two proms. Sure. You know, what if it gets invited to a charity gala? How do you know if the baby's going to be fat or not, though? That's a really good question. It's also very optimistic for you to say two proms.
Starting point is 01:07:52 I would assume... There's junior and senior, I guess. Well, I mean... But yeah, I mean... Hey, I didn't go to junior or senior. You didn't go to either prom? I didn't go to either prom. Too handsome?
Starting point is 01:08:02 I got... You went to a special handsome prom. No, no, no. I got stood up senior. No, no, no. I got stood up, senior. Oh, no. No. You didn't just go stag? I didn't go stag.
Starting point is 01:08:11 I was too heartbroken, too. You just hung around at home and watched Star Trek Next Generation. I played Mario Kart. And then junior just didn't end up going, yeah. Yeah. Jordan went to eight proms. Eight proms. Were you class president
Starting point is 01:08:25 uh i what was i i was something okay oh i was homecoming king no kidding yeah yeah were you when you were in that moment present you're there you're homecoming and they're putting the crown on were you like i can live forever oh totally yeah i even i even played a round of russian roulette on the football field just to prove to everyone that I was fucking invincible. And he had like a rusty, scary gun, like the kind of gun where it could go, it could explode in his hand in addition to just shooting a bullet. Yeah, my grandpa took it off of a body in Da Nang.
Starting point is 01:08:57 If you want to envision the kind of gun. No, no, no, yeah, yeah, I already see it, yeah, yeah. And I mean, the good news is that his tux did have a place for a concealed carry. But that's just because he got it from his grandpa. Right. He used to go to a lot of military evening events. Oh, yeah. Definitely like as a drama goofball in high school, like definitely the number one thing for my group of friends was to like get dressed up silly and go to one of the dances and act silly.
Starting point is 01:09:25 Amazing. So I went to a lot of dances. Yeah. That was basically my entire high school all the time. Good times, embarrassed looking back at it. Someone on Facebook posted a montage of one of our dances where everybody is just in goofy Disney outfits, and I think I'm wearing pantaloons or something like that
Starting point is 01:09:44 and I had a feather in my capaloons or something like that at a feather in my cap. It was, uh, I definitely wanted to, uh, go back in time and pants myself. What is a goofy Disney outfit? Like a, like a Mickey Mouse head? No, like, uh, just like, I mean, it looks like you would be a character walking around just like a, like a princess, like a Disney princess. And some of the guys were like in, you like kind of romeo and juliet type outfits
Starting point is 01:10:06 we were we were goofballs wow insufferable goofballs but it sounds like a blast yeah it was fun at the time and i'm you know and i'm super super glad yeah that was my high school and not you know racing raised trucks right you know getting getting drunk at the you know at the jet ski shoot-off area or the other options that were available to me in Orange County. Right. I'm glad that's what I did. But also when I saw it on Facebook, I wanted to punch myself in the dick. Right, right.
Starting point is 01:10:36 Goodnight Moon. That's another thing you shouldn't get someone. They already have a copy of Goodnight Moon. Wow, that's really great. There's nothing wrong with Goodnight Moon. Get the baby a copy of goodnight moon that's a wow that's really great there's nothing wrong with the baby a copy of the similarion it lets you know lots of backstory that you need to know when you're reading the lord of the rings who wrote what song where dwarves come from yeah babies love the similarity maybe in carta 95 that is a really good because that contains
Starting point is 01:11:01 practically all of the knowledge in the world. Everything you need to know about everything. There have been some updates to world knowledge since 1995. Right. But I think if you get Encarta 95, you're doing pretty good. I kind of think Encarta 95 is the golden eye of encyclopedias. Oh, yeah. Where it's just great all around. They've tried to remake it.
Starting point is 01:11:19 They've tried, but it just isn't the same. It doesn't really work. There's a magic there. Yeah, they really hit it. Do we have more calls? One more call. Let's hear it. Hi, this is Molly, and I'm in L.A.,
Starting point is 01:11:30 and I have a moment of shame. I was one of the people who bought a Jordan, Jesse, Go, Ma, Bam, Bam live show ticket the minute they went on sale. It is 7 p.m. I am an hour from the venue, and I really fucked up that time. So I guess Friday the 13th is an unlucky day for me.m. I am an hour from the venue and I really fucked up that time. So I guess Friday the 13th is
Starting point is 01:11:47 an unlucky day for me. Whoops. See you guys next time. You could have come. We didn't start until like 8.15. Yeah. Molly? You blew it double. Yeah. We started late. No, Molly. One time I found out the Boyz II Men was sold out in Stockton.
Starting point is 01:12:06 I'm still seeing Molly over here. I want to hear about how Hasan Stockton killed Boyz II Men. They were playing in Stockton, California. I'm a huge Boyz II Men fan. The city of ports. Yeah. Is that correct? No, there's no ports in Stockton.
Starting point is 01:12:22 Stockton is the city in Northern California that went bankrupt. I thought it was home of the Stockton Ports. Is it? I think so. Maybe. Can you please, are you even Googling that, Lindsay? Jeez Louise. It's the Sunrise Seaport.
Starting point is 01:12:37 Oh, man. Stockton Ports. Google Stockton Ports. Okay. So I grew up in Davis, Davis, California. And me and my buddies were like, we're going to go see Boyz II Men. We drive. That's funny.
Starting point is 01:12:52 You and your male buddies all want to go see Boyz II Men. Yeah. That's great. So we drive. R&B was very good in the 90s. We drive out there. Sold out. So it's at this little theater in Stockton.
Starting point is 01:13:03 We go to the back alley. And I don't know why our minds were already in like sitcom mode we're like look there's gonna be a bus it's gonna pull in and boys men will get off the bus and we're gonna be like we're huge fans and boys men will give us tickets they get off the bus bus naked nathan michael sean one year and i was like boys to men yeah that's our name boys to men bbd and BBD. And I was like, we're huge fans. It's like me, four other buddies. And I was like, yo, it's sold out.
Starting point is 01:13:29 Like, we would love tickets. Like, oh, my God, we'd love tickets. And then Sean was like, all right, man, just wait here. And he goes inside. And then 10 minutes later, a bouncer walks out and he's like, yo, are y'all the dudes that were yelling at the boys? We got you tickets. It was out of so for a second there tv show or concerned you had hit the end of the road
Starting point is 01:13:50 it's a natural the road had just begun how was the show what's a boy amazing show like amazing they can sing so well yeah so good and when they brought out the roses for on bended knee i wanted a rose but i was like let the girls get the roses but they need the roses man you wanted they were real bad i wanted one really when those when it when an r&b singer is in full bloom and i can say this, having seen both D'Angelo at his most cut, probably the best concert I've ever been to, D'Angelo on the... Did he just come out with a sock on his dick? No, he was wearing black leather pants and shirtless. Sure.
Starting point is 01:14:39 What does Dick look like? Gorgeous. Cool. Just beautiful. There was a forest out back behind the venue that was i mean that's definitely been one of my favorite buzz buzzfeed lists is remember these 90s r&b dicks um and uh usher to uh usher to a lesser extent um al green when I saw Al Green, the Concord Pavilion, just the frenzy that they can generate is awesome. Even if you are a heterosexual dude who has no interest in sleeping with them, it is still
Starting point is 01:15:21 super fun when there's all these women flipping out. The energy is great. I have definitely – I have not seen an R&B thing live. But I have seen the widest equivalent of this. In high school, someone gave my buddy two tickets to see Chris Isaac. Uh-huh. And, you know – Wait wait from the chris isaac show from the yes from the yeah chris isaac like emerald known for his acting yeah um and yeah
Starting point is 01:15:54 and when he played um when he played lady in red which is a song i could not enjoy less right it's maybe one of my least favorite songs right and. And Chris Isaac is perfectly fine overall. Sure. But you don't want to hear Lady in Red. That song is awful. Like on the radio at school dances, whenever it comes on, it makes me feel like there's bugs on me. I think from the Chris Isaac show, we learned that he's a fun, interesting guy.
Starting point is 01:16:20 But that doesn't mean you want to hear Lady in Red. Sure. guy but you don't want to that doesn't mean you want to hear lady in red sure but when he played it live and the the stage was bum rushed by the by a you know just a throng of glowing chubby moms chubby new moms i mean i definitely felt that sensual power. Right. And I was drawn to it. Yeah. And, you know, when I hear that song now, I still hate it, but I definitely remember that force, that Hadouken-like force wave. Energy. That blasted over the crowd. And whenever even now you see a chubby new mom in a red dress, you lose control. I offer her a respite from her cruel husband.
Starting point is 01:17:17 Memories. The moral of the story is, call her, show up. You never know what could happen. Yeah. Oh, Molly, yeah, you should have shown up. Come on. What if you saw your guys' car pull up and then Molly goes... Right, we pulled up at our tour bus.
Starting point is 01:17:30 Yeah. And just, Jordan Chess, huge fan. Can I get a ticket? I'll tell you this, though. Opening for Al Green, the late, great Isaac Hayes. Wow. The man who wrote and performed some of the greatest R&B hits of the 1970s. And yet, in his set, did a medley of his songs from South Park.
Starting point is 01:17:53 Including an extended version of Big Sweaty Balls. Sure. Salty Balls. Big Salty Balls. That was one of the worst and saddest things I've ever seen in my entire life. Like, as amazing as Al Green was, I would say Isaac Hayes was that amount of sad. Oh, wow. It seems like you wouldn't have to do that opening for Al Green.
Starting point is 01:18:15 It seems like people are there to see Isaac Hayes shit. That was part of what made it so sad. Just fucking do the theme from Shaft, and by the time I got to Phoenix and all of your legendary hits you got a 20 piece band with you just fucking do a half hour set of three songs yeah it's easy
Starting point is 01:18:34 you don't need this as a case anyway we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, in the Caribbean Ocean. Not just me, but a bunch of your favorite comedians and musicians. Well, you've only got two weeks left to buy your tickets. Go to boatparty.biz. That's boatparty.biz. Hey, guess what? We just added Todd Barry to the lineup.
Starting point is 01:19:15 That's one of the greatest comedians in the entire freaking world. You know what? I'm going to say it. The entire fucking world. Todd Barry. That's right. Todd Barry. Yeah, I can say Todd Barry in a Todd Barry voice. Seriously, you only have until the end of the month to buy tickets, so go to boatparty.biz.
Starting point is 01:19:35 I swear to God, you will not regret it. It is so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so fun. Yeah, okay. Let's get back to Jordan Jessica. fun uh yeah okay let's get back to jordan jessico it's jordan jessico i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective hassan minaj here present and having a blast jesse thorne clear present and dangerous jordan Morris, Shadow Recruit. That should be my new nickname! Shadow Recruit. Asaminage, expert at golden gun. On golden eye.
Starting point is 01:20:16 Very good at golden gun. Oh, you're an expert at the gun that takes one shot to kill? One shot to kill. I much prefer that to just having a regular full life. Okay. You know what I mean? And wearing down the bullets. You like the stakes high.
Starting point is 01:20:29 I like it a lot. You like the rush. Yeah, yeah. You're an adrenaline junkie. And I like the re-up. That just, bum, bum, bum, bum. We start again. You like to load yourself up with some Yerba Mate.
Starting point is 01:20:40 Oh, man. You get jacked on Mate. Do about three or four brews. Loose leaf. Yeah. No fuck around with the... Okay. Do about three or four brews. Loose leaf. Yeah. No fuck around with the. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:48 And then just keep going. Seep it nice and long. Yeah. You got to seep it long. Ten minutes apiece. Maybe go in, take a shower, come back. That's your first brew. Pop off some emails.
Starting point is 01:20:57 Second brew. Sorry. Yeah. Are you guys done talking about this? I'm so sorry. Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus. Go to huluplus.com backslash.
Starting point is 01:21:12 Forward slash. Forward slash. JJ Go. JJ Go. JJ Go. Thanks to Hulu Plus where you can binge on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere. You can get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to huluplus.com slash JJ Go. Extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to huluplus.com slash jjgo.
Starting point is 01:21:33 Hasan, people can go to your website, the website for your documentary, which we should mention again. It's goodymobworldparty.com. Standupplanet.org. And check me out at www.hasanminaj.com. You got any shows coming up? Where are you headed? I am in town for a bit, so I'll be in Los Angeles tonight. Is this too late? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:53 You're just bragging about some of your cool gigs. If you just see a handsome guy with cool Jordans, just let him know that he's Hassan Manage. Tonight I'm hosting Funny or Die's Make Them Laugh show at the Grammy Museum here in downtown Los Angeles. Which tonight? This tonight? This tonight. As we record? As we record.
Starting point is 01:22:10 Well, what do you want? Do you want us just to congratulate you? This is going to be two days ago. Well, you said plug a cool gig, and I'm not going to just go, hey, check me out 11.15 p.m. at the comedy store. I don't know. That's for some hardcore. That's for some hardcore. Maybe Molly could make it.
Starting point is 01:22:24 I mean, it's not as... She can't make our 8 o'clock show, but maybe she can get her ass there by 11.15. It's not as cool as doing John Lovitz's club at the Universal CityWalk. Hey, it's John Lovitz's podcast theater, and don't you forget it. Oh, I didn't know that. Yay. Don't you ever forget that. Yeah, podcasting legend John Lovitz.
Starting point is 01:22:42 Yeah. And you can't do it in small little rinky-dink situations like this that you get a home fucking default. You need a goddamn theater at the Universal CityWalk. Pay 20 bucks for parking in the Jurassic Park and you walk past. Jurassic Park. Yeah, you walk past. I still think that's funny. That's clever.
Starting point is 01:23:01 I like this. You park on the Velociraptor floor. You walk past that T-Rex. You hang a left. You walk by the blues bar that's always packed with people. Then you walk into that theater that's clever. I like this. You park on the Velociraptor floor. You walk past that T-Rex. You hang a left. You walk by the blues bar that's always packed with people. Then you walk into that theater that's empty. And you recognize game, goddammit. You know how the song goes.
Starting point is 01:23:18 Game recognize game at the John Lovitz Comedy Podcast Theater, Maine. Uh-huh. Lovitz recognize Lovitz Comedy Podcast Theater, Maine. Uh-huh. Lovitz recognized Lovitz. Three decks. Three decks to experience all the fun. Our producer is Brian Fernandez. On the boards this week, the great Lindsay Pavlis. Thank you, Lindsay.
Starting point is 01:23:37 Stockton Ports. Do we have confirmation on the Stockton Ports? Minor League Baseball team, the Stockton Ports. What's Sacramento's sacramento's minor league baseball team hit me the river cats okay there we go sacramento great logo great field rayleigh field beautiful but they haven't been the river cats for all that long they used to be something else they were well they were the sacramento a's for a while weren't they i don't know i remember when the river cats were announced it was like our officially our minor league team it was a big
Starting point is 01:24:03 deal is that a kind of cat that lives in a river? Nah. I don't know. It's a fictional animal. Every fucking minor league team now is just some... Ever since the Lansing Lugnuts came out, every minor league team just has some bullshit ass name. Lugnuts is a real thing, though. I know, but it's just...
Starting point is 01:24:19 I want to know if there's a cat that lives in a river. Some team named itself after the team from the Simpsons, and then it was all finished. Somebody's the Springfield Adams. Yeah. That's funny. Fuck that noise. They have the Capital City goofball come out.
Starting point is 01:24:34 If you don't have Steve Sachs on your team, I'm not interested. Okay. Look, that's all. Talk about us on the forum, forum.maximumfun.org. We enjoy, we like to chat with fans on the forum. And I've been enjoying chatting with fans on the Reddit page. There was a nice thread on the Reddit page thanking me for talking about it on JordanJesseGo. There you go.
Starting point is 01:24:57 Yeah, you're welcome. The guy whose name is Lothrar or whatever it is, he changed his name on there. It's pronounced blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I don't know what. I don't remember. Sure. I don't remember. It's Ladrab or something.
Starting point is 01:25:13 Labrat. So congratulations to Labrat on starting the MaxFun subreddit. All you got to do is search for Maximum Fun Reddit and you can get in there and post about any of the shows. It doesn't have to be our show.
Starting point is 01:25:25 Sure. Post something about Brian and Aaron. Post something about Wham Bam Pow. Post something about your favorite action movies, courtesy of Wham Bam Pow. How about that? Sounds great. Sounds fun. That's all.
Starting point is 01:25:35 Fantastic. That's all. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan and Jessica. Goodbye. Bye. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture Artist owned Listener supported

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