Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 423: Notable Boatables with Gillian Jacobs

Episode Date: April 11, 2016

Actress Gillian Jacobs joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of websites that make them nervous, the vaping congressman, modern t-shirt canons, and male pregnancy art on the internet.   ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Hey Jordan, I subscribed to a comic book. I did it by going to marvel.com, which is a website from 1997. Does it have the Ally McBeal dancing baby on it? It literally... And there's just a swirling pot leaf?
Starting point is 00:00:31 There's one of those animated construction workers. It says still under construction. There's a counter at the bottom of the Marvel subscription website. And then an old photo of an alien's head. What happened is- One of the greys. I posted on Twitter about- So obviously Ta-Nehisi Coates,
Starting point is 00:00:53 anytime anyone from the Atlantic or the New Yorker writes a comic book, I feel it's my cultural obligation to subscribe to it. Sure, yeah. Since I am the meeting point of those things. Like when David Edelstein was writing Booster Gold. Exactly. Man, did you read Tad Friend's run on, I don't know the name of any good secondary. Booster Gold is the only one I have.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Yeah. I'm sorry I stole Booster Gold from you. How about, let's take this again. Because I know. Wait, no. I have Firestorm, the Atomic Man. There you go. Did you enjoy Tad Friend's run on Firestorm, the Atomic Man? Ha ha, no. I have Firestorm, the Atomic Man. There you go. Great. Did you enjoy Tad Friend's run on Firestorm, the Atomic Man?
Starting point is 00:01:27 Ha-ha. Yes. What a pull. Thank you. So I posted on Twitter. So Ta-Nehisi Coates is writing this thing on Black Panther. And I was like, whoa, I should check that out. It came out.
Starting point is 00:01:39 I have a subscription to The Atlantic. There was a little preview in there. I got excited. But I wasn't prepared to make a special trip to the comic book store every time it came out. Sure. So I was like, well, I guess I'll get the book compilation of it, which is usually if I'm reading a comic book, it's a little more convenient.
Starting point is 00:01:57 They'd call it the trade in the business. The trade. Exactly. Yeah. That's how I like to read saga, comic book saga. Got to get some new ones of those. That's how I like to read saga, comic book saga. Got to get some new ones of those.
Starting point is 00:02:10 But so I posted on Twitter, like, how long does it take for that to come out? I did not know that this was a hot button issue in the comic book community. Lots of people were super helpful. I'm going to put it at 80% of people were super helpful about it. Sure. 20% of people told me about how I was destroying comic books by buying the compilation version instead of it one at a time. They got so mad at me. I didn't. I enjoy.
Starting point is 00:02:33 I like comic books and I didn't know about this controversy. Apparently. I stepped on a real landmine. But then. But then, Jordan. So I didn't know what to do. Also, I would have had to wait seven months which I was not prepared to do
Starting point is 00:02:45 you don't want to single-handedly destroy an entire industry either no like you did to the steel industry yes
Starting point is 00:02:51 last year yeah sure plus I gotta get I have to have like a routine ready for when David Remnick
Starting point is 00:03:00 starts writing the bat ape comic bat ape it was the bat ape comic. Bat ape? It was a bat ape. I read about it in Glenn Weldon's book. So anyway,
Starting point is 00:03:12 somebody posted me a link. You can just subscribe by mail like it was 1975. So that's what I did. But the website, I don't think I've ever typed in a credit card number more times than on this website. It was like becoming an ESPN insider in 1995.
Starting point is 00:03:31 You know what kinds of – oh, okay. I have a kind of website I want to mention. Yeah. Should we bring in our guest and then we can talk about sorts of websites that make us nervous? Yeah, sure. I don't know if she got the memo that the subject for today's Jordan Jesse Go is types of website. But, you know, I'm sure she's used the internet, surfed the World Wide Web. She probably knows a little something about websites.
Starting point is 00:03:53 She is an actress. She is a star of the Netflix original series Love, on which she is fantastically good. In fact, my wife and I had a nice conversation about what a great job she was doing on the show just last night. She was one of the stars of the television show Community. I know you like to rub it in that you have a wife, but I'll say when I was watching the show, I picked up my cat and pressed her face to the screen so that she could enjoy it. So we've all got a lot going on. Gillian Jacobs.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Hi, Gillian. How are you, pal? I'm good. Thank you for having me. Cool pizza socks. Thanks so much. I think they're Crew Cuts, J. Crew's children's line. Oh, yes. Now, did you take those from a child that you abducted or you purchased those for yourself?
Starting point is 00:04:39 I love the Crew Cuts line. I have a backpack from them. I have a t-shirt from them and And I have many socks from crew cuts. Do they all feature pizzas? No. I have ones with cartoon cats on them. I have ones with stripes. They have a lot of glitter thread going on in their socks. It's a
Starting point is 00:04:56 fun time. They're eye-catching. I'm surprised that you're small enough to wear a child's sock. Oh, I am. You're a medium-sized person. Am I? I think so. I feel short. You look bigger on TV. Tiny feet and ankles, though. Delicate. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:11 Delicate prancer. Like a swan that's in the ballet. Yeah, you've got it. But ironically not swan-like. Yeah, and wears crew socks. That's the one. So, Jordan, what type of website upsets you? Like when you need to look up the lyrics to a song. Oh my God. Those websites are always from the dawn's the one. So, Jordan, what type of website upsets you? Like when you need to look up the lyrics to a song. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Those websites are always from the dawn of the internet. No one has made a lyrics website since 1994. What about Rap Genius? Yeah, okay. So I was about to say about Rap Genius. So there's this website called Rap Genius. Oh, I had to look up the theme song to Mr. Belvedere. And really had to dive into some some GeoCity shit.
Starting point is 00:05:45 They don't have that on Rap Genius? I mean, I don't know. I guess I should bookmark it. Look under B for Belvedere if you just only looked under M for Mr.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Oh, that's probably it. So Rap Genius is a website that its great innovation was to present lyrics of rap songs in a clean,
Starting point is 00:06:02 comfortable, well-lighted context and then allow people to the community to annotate those lyrics so that people from outside of the rap community could understand the special words. And I use it a lot because if I'm writing a thing about, for Bullseye, about rap music, it's a convenient place to look at rap lyrics for the reason that you described about every other lyric website. There's two problems with it.
Starting point is 00:06:36 One is when they built their database, they just stole all of the transcriptions from, you know, the internet celebrities uh yes so one of those guys raffy used to run this website called the original hip-hop lyrics archive they just stole all of the lyrics from the original hip-hop lyric like basically just leached their database then denied that they had done that but like all the typos were the same like it was just like it was just like type it was like transcriptions of you know uh uh naz songs that people on rec.music.hiphop or whatever had done in 1996 so that's one thing also i read an article maybe in new york magazine about the guys who they got now they now have like
Starting point is 00:07:20 all this uh venture funding for Genius, which is now Genius. It's just for annotating things. And they sounded like literally the worst human beings in the world. Like worse than the guy – worse than that one guy from Vice. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Interviews with venture capital guys never make the guy look good.
Starting point is 00:07:45 These guys were like power bros. They were like super ultra power bros, like having a party on a Williamsburg roof. I was like, oh, geez, these guys. But now I feel guilty, but I still use it. Yeah. Because otherwise I'm going to have to deal with fucking moving pop-up ads and shit. Sure, someone trying to get you to download a crazy frog ringtone. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:08:07 That's all the things on there. What's your favorite type of website, Kelly? Golly. What's my favorite type of website? Sports news. Sports news. I'm constantly checking the scores. Sure, Children's Socks.
Starting point is 00:08:22 Childrensocks.org. Sure. No,.org. Is that a non-profit? Or just a community organization? It's for people who love Children's Socks. Oh, cool. I like that website, Atlas Obscura. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:37 That's also good when you're traveling and want to find a weird place to go to. What have you found? I'll tell you the problem with that website. Okay. Wow, that was an emphatic point. Sometimes the places have closed and they don't update it. So I do remember
Starting point is 00:08:53 one time in New Orleans, I walked a long ways in the middle of winter and it was not as cold as the East Coast, but it was still pretty cold. Yeah, I thought you were going to say the middle of summer when you said the middle of. Well, I've also done that. The middle of a classic New Orleans mild winter.
Starting point is 00:09:09 It was, Jesse, how much time have you spent in a New Orleans winter? Not very much. Okay, thank you very much. It was cold. None, literally. To only find that the place had closed. But here's what you do. You stop along the way at one of their, you know, mini Bourbon Street bars.
Starting point is 00:09:22 You get a hot hurricane. I don't drink. You walk with the hot hurricane. Get a nice hot, you know, you can have some of their chicorybon Street bars, you get a hot hurricane. I don't drink. You walk with the hot hurricane. You know you can have some of their chicory infused coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Café Du Monde. Just hot grits, handfuls of hot grits in your face. Sure. They got places.
Starting point is 00:09:36 That'll give you some fortitude. But you've walked all that way and you get there and it's closed. That was a bummer. That was a letdown. Where have you found that's been good off Atlas Obscura? Other places in New Orleans that were still open. That was a letdown. Where have you found that's been good off Atlas Obscura? Other places in New Orleans that were still open. What was still open? What's since closed?
Starting point is 00:09:50 I'm very sad to hear this. The childhood home of celebrity chef Paul Prudhomme? No, but it was – It's called the Paul Prudhomme. It's a dome. It's a literal dome. He lived in a – A Buckminster Full.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Yeah, yeah. a literal dome. He lived in a... A Buckminster Fulton? Yeah, yeah. The Conti Wax Museum, which a New Orleanian told me was closing
Starting point is 00:10:09 imminently, so I'm sad that people don't get to see that anymore. What is it? It was a wax museum which charted the history of New Orleans and then had a special
Starting point is 00:10:20 thing at the end that was figures from... New Orleans' future. I wish. No, then it would have predicted its own demise. Oh, sure. Chilling. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:31 They had like a section at the end that was all creatures and characters from horror movies, literature like Frankenstein or like the Pit and the Pendulum that Edgar Allan Poe. It was just this weird addendum at the end. Wait. How it does in the history of New Orleans and then fictional monsters. Yes. That is a great mishmash of a place. I am in like Frankenstein, sure. Yeah. The cask of Amontillado.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Sure. A real cask but rendered in wax. Yeah. It was an amazing place and I went – I was all by myself and it really is true that there's nothing creepier than being in a wax museum by yourself. Even though it's the middle of the day. I knew there were – but then you get to the monster section at the end. I knew there were – but then you get to the monster section at the end. You're like, really?
Starting point is 00:11:30 Are you just – are you leaning into it a little bit hard with the creepiness of a wax museum by having the monsters? But yeah, I heard it was closing. It was amazing. But also I was the only person there. So I maybe understand they haven't turned a profit in quite a while. Did you go to the Liberace Museum? Have you ever been there? No.
Starting point is 00:11:42 Yeah, I think that closed. Where is that? It's in Las Vegas. Oh, I don't go to Vegasgas often but i would go for that i've only been once i made some time to go to the liberace museum i didn't know what was there yeah it's not anymore because you didn't go there it's all my fault they heard that you were in town and you were just busy drinking hot hurricane what is a hot hurricane uh i mean I guess a hurricane is like their signature, like, you know. All the liquors. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Like that stuff. What's that drink where it's like whatever collects in the mat? You know that? Yeah, yeah. And you pour that in. Mat squeezes. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:20 But yeah, and I don't think they serve them hot. That was. Oh, okay. Because that would be gross I think was my – That was your joke. That was the joke I was trying to make. Oh, got it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:27 It's like heating up a Long Island iced tea or something. See, I don't – Oh, you know what? That might be good. Really? Yeah. Long Island hot tea. Would you serve it with a slice of lemon?
Starting point is 00:12:37 Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, Long Island iced tea, English style. Yeah. That's what you say to the bartender. Cuppa. That's with milk and sugar Yeah and they boil it Scoop of beans
Starting point is 00:12:47 Uh huh All the liquors Oh Yeah that'd be nice That sounds nice What were you in New Orleans for? There was one year Where I did three movies there
Starting point is 00:12:57 Two of them almost back to back So I had a lot of down time Oh Yeah What did you What were your Like I mean obviously You're not going to the wax museum every day.
Starting point is 00:13:06 No. Did you have more, like, habitual New Orleans things that you did? Hmm. Coffee every afternoon with celebrity chef Paul Prudhomme. Fanboat rides with Harry Anderson and Harry Shearer. Just hanging out with Harry Shearer, listening to his complaints about his job on The Simpsons. Sure. What were my regular haunts?
Starting point is 00:13:34 Now I can only think of things I only did once. Like there is a district supreme courthouse right in the French Quarter. And I saw through a window that they had a stained glass ceiling in one of the rooms. So I just walked in one day and said, can I walk around? And they said, where do you practice law? And I was like, I'm not a lawyer. And they said, so where's your architecture firm? I'm like, I'm not an architect. They're like, then what are you? The only people that ever want to just walk around here are architects or lawyers. And I was like, it just looks pretty. I don't know. I'm trying to see everything. I'm so bored. I've read all it just looks pretty. I don't know. I'm trying to see everything. I'm so bored. I read all the books I brought.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Yeah. So I walked around the courthouse, which was beautiful, very big. Apparently at one point there was a push to tear down all the beautiful buildings in the French Quarter. And they raised this section and built this courthouse. And thankfully preservationists stepped in and they didn't go all the way. But that was like their first step at sort of raising what we now know as the French Quarter was building this courthouse. So I felt a little bit more conflicted about it, but it was still nice. Do you like to go on – because I know that you're an architecture enthusiast.
Starting point is 00:14:38 While not an architect, you're an architecture enthusiast, which I can relate to. Do you like to go on a historical walking tour? Yeah. When I first moved to L.A., my mom and I did that downtown. We printed out the L.A. Conservancy's walking tour and walked around to all the buildings. Oh, snap. That's what's up. Come on.
Starting point is 00:14:56 Have you ever been on those walking tours downtown? Oh, I have, yeah. It seems like something you – yeah. Those are great. Yeah. Of course. Start at that library downtown and just take it all in. It's so good.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Sure. Come on. Check out the Art Deco Wonders. Why not? Why not? Bradbury Building. Sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:13 And also, of course, the architecture tour in Chicago. Yeah. That boat one. That one. No, I haven't been on the boat one. Oh, yeah. The tour of notable boats of Chicago? Yes.
Starting point is 00:15:24 You paddle by docked boats. My favorite Jeopardy category is notable boatables. Oh. Well, we already know what this episode is called. Right. It's called Hot Hurricane. It's called Booster Gold. Who is Booster Gold?
Starting point is 00:15:48 He is a great poll if you are looking for, if you want to make a joke about like a bad comic book character that only comic book guys remember. Okay. He's a DC character and he's like a time traveler. He's like a time, he's a guy who. Is he a space lord? No, I don't think he's, I don't think he stays on Earth. No, you know what? He goes to space, but he's Earth-based.
Starting point is 00:16:11 His main thing is not going to space. Please direct your comments to at Jordan underscore Morris. No, John Kasich. John Kasich. For you, we have people, if they want to complain to us about minor mistakes we've made, speaking extemporaneously, directed toward one of the presidential candidates. Oh, great. So, yeah, if anybody has – I think Kasich is probably our best bet.
Starting point is 00:16:33 Yeah. Until we find out who's running on some of the lesser party tickets. Sure. I think at the point where – Are we going to shoot him at some guy from the Peace and Freedom Party? Yeah. I think that's my plan. Yeah. have met some guy from the peace and freedom party is that yeah i think that's my plan yeah what about that guy who used to be governor of uh uh new mexico who's always the uh the
Starting point is 00:16:50 libertarian candidate and he loves he loves puffin jays oh yeah i don't know about this what about lyndon larouche from here on out direct all your all your complaints and corrections to Lyndon LaRouche on Twitter. Have you guys seen the vaping congressman? No. Oh, there's a vaping congressman? There's a vaping congressman. He is from – OK.
Starting point is 00:17:20 OK, you each get one guess as to where the – you each get two guesses as to where the vaping congressman is from. No offense. Orange County. No. Okay. Oh, wait. Are we picking a state or a... A general zone.
Starting point is 00:17:34 General zone. Yeah. City. Okay, it's a general zone. That's dumb. That was a dumb clue. I'm including northern San Diego. You can't do that.
Starting point is 00:17:43 But Carl's bad. He's from San Diego. Yes, he's from San Diego. You can't do that. But Carl's bad. He's from San Diego. Yes, he's from San Diego. You didn't really. That was two fucking guesses. Well, you said he had two. You roped into. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:52 But I was going to let you guess because you might have guessed San Diego. No, no, no. I wasn't thinking California. Okay. That's okay. Where were you going to say? Colorado. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:02 I don't think he vapes weed. But there is like shots of him like at meetings vap Colorado. Oh, yeah. I don't think he vapes weed, but there is shots of him at meetings vaping. Oh, I get it. It's fucking amazing. But he recently had a scandal because he reappropriated $1,300 worth of campaign funds to buy games on Steam, which is a video game buying service. Thank you, because I did not know what it was. No, yeah. Yeah, so he's using campaign funds.
Starting point is 00:18:32 How many copies of whatever Portal 2 did he buy? You can see the breakdown, and he buys games, but then he just buys every expansion pack. So, like, if there's new characters. Anyway, Vaping Congressman, look him up. Okay. You know, maybe should we have people direct their complaints to the Vaping Congressman? Yeah. I don't know his name.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Brian, can you find out what his name is? Duncan Hunter. Duncan Hunter. Of course his name is Duncan Hunter. I know, right? Oh, man. Tab friendly. Do you know what his Twitter handle is, Brian?
Starting point is 00:19:08 We're finding out what San Diego Congressman Duncan Hunter's Twitter handle is. You can forward all your questions, concerns, comments, and complaints. San Diego Senator Chet Yachtley. Chet Yachtley. At rep underscore hunter. Yeah. He got that before he was a representative because he does so many reps. On his leg day.
Starting point is 00:19:36 What were you going to say? He's a dreamer. Yeah. He's always looking for rep ties. There you go. Trials with horizontal diagonal stripes. Cool. Speaking of bro issues, I had a discovery this week.
Starting point is 00:19:51 What's that? I went with my buddy Matty to a Clippers game. Oh, I saw a picture of you on Facebook. There's Jordan taking in a professional sporting entertainment. Do you guys know where fucking t-shirt canon technology is at? It is light years beyond what I thought it was. Now, hold on. Because, Gillian, you might not know this. But once upon a time, Jordan's employer was one of the primary sponsors and, what do you call it, Press outlets for the Dew Tour.
Starting point is 00:20:28 The Mountain Dew. Yeah. Got it. Which is an extreme sporting roadshow. Okay. Action sporting roadshow. Like the X Games? Like the X Games.
Starting point is 00:20:39 It was the answer to the X Games. The year-round answer to the X Games. It was the answer to the X Games, the year-round answer to the X Games. And so, Jordan, not only have you seen T-shirt cannons in action, but there was a time when you were called upon to operate a T-shirt cannon, if I remember correctly. Did I? I have absolutely forgotten. I feel like at some point you told me that you and Chris Fairbanks had to host a stage for a while, and they gave you T-shirt cannons to shoot T-shirts. That makes sense. That tracks for me.
Starting point is 00:21:11 I do not remember it, and I feel bad. Okay. Because this is clearly a key, this is a formative moment that I have pushed out of my brain for some reason. I'm pretty sure, I'm like 90% sure I'm not making it. No, no, no. I mean, it makes sense. It sounds like something that they
Starting point is 00:21:25 would have had me and chris fairbanks do back in the time we were working for that but boy i don't remember it wow if anyone has photos of me and chris fairbanks firing t-shirt cannons i uh i need those for tinder i need them um no boy uh so yeah, I mean, I guess I was, you know, I guess when I was, you know, in that world, you know, t-shirt cannons were, you know, they're just coming onto the scene. Sure. I mean, it was like, if, if you imagine, uh, if you imagine a machine designed by Leonardo da Vinci and one of his famous notebooks, that's this level of technology that was going into t-shirt cannons at the time.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Like a catapult. Exactly. I mean, at best, perhaps a trebuchet. Sure. That's this level of technology that was going into T-shirt cannons at the time. Like a catapult. Exactly. I mean, at best, perhaps a trebuchet. But yeah. Jillian, what was the last T-shirt cannon event you attended? I think we're going with a never. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:18 You have never seen one in person? I've seen them only in film and TV. I don't think I've ever been in the presence of a t-shirt cannon that I can remember. I went to see the Warriors play the Clippers. I had not been to an NBA basketball game since I was like 12. So like 20 years.
Starting point is 00:22:34 The intensity of the experience in 2016 Yeah. is unreal. Yeah. It is madness. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Yeah. I mean, I think that the last, I mean, obviously we talked on the show maybe a year ago about the arena football game we went to. Yeah. And that was a crazy shit show assault on the senses. This was not that much less crazy. I would say while slightly less crazy, it was more madness. less crazy. It was more madness.
Starting point is 00:23:03 My experience was that, sure, were there no lady dancers suspended in cages from the ceiling? That's what they had at the arena football game because it's the LA Kiss. It's Kiss-themed. It's a Kiss-themed arena football
Starting point is 00:23:19 team. Is this an official tie-in with Kiss? Yeah, it's an official tie-in with KISS and the dancers are official performers. It's not just a wildcat situation. Wow. Are they unionized unlike the NFL cheerleaders?
Starting point is 00:23:35 I would hope that they get paid better than the NFL cheerleaders which is to say at least a minimum wage. Yeah, that is unconscionable how they treat the NFL cheerleaders. I think they do not have health care at the LA Kiss, but if you roll your ankle, Gene Simmons comes and ices it for you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:52 That's true. Julie just did like a take. It's very funny. I had a school teacher who was a Warriors girl. And, yeah, the situation for her was she got paid like $30 a game or something. Yeah. How is that allowed to stand? She made more money as an artist in residence at a public high school in San Francisco than she did as a Warriors dancer.
Starting point is 00:24:17 But yeah, like there were a few crazy elements of the L.A. Kiss game that we went to, but I felt like they weren't that consistent or as much of a blanket of craziness as the NBA game was. Did your game, did everyone get a wristband that blinks different colors in synchronization? I got that, and it says, thank you, Kobe, on it. Just thanking him for all the great work he did for the Clippers. Sure. Yeah. Wait.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Was that a Lakers game? Oh, they were playing. The Lakers were playing the Clippers. Oh, okay. Now it all makes sense. My friend had the Clippers season tickets. Wait. Who gets to be home team when it's Lakers versus Clippers?
Starting point is 00:24:57 I think this counted as a Clippers game. That's why my buddy's season tickets worked. But, you know, I think everybody was excited about Kobe. So there wasn't, you know, it seemed like a more communal experience. Anyway. Yeah. So they have these wristbands for anybody that hasn't been there and they have color LEDs inside of them.
Starting point is 00:25:17 And somehow using computers, they have them all blink. It's microwaves, actually. They use microwaves to operate these. I don't trust those things. They cook too quickly. Sure. They blink different colors all in synchronization. So it's like the whole place is dancing to whatever music they're playing.
Starting point is 00:25:36 That should be reserved for a Super Bowl halftime show. That's too fancy. Yeah, just for like a casual home game. Yeah. I wouldn't even put that at like a Major League Baseball all-star game. No way. Yeah. I wouldn't even put that at like a Major League Baseball All-Star game. No way. Yeah. This is a real serious.
Starting point is 00:25:48 Well, you know, like in the seventh inning or the sixth inning when they're playing God Bless America. It doesn't fit on my dick either. So that was another complaint I had about these. That seems like a disappointment. So, yeah, we all got flashing bracelets. Right. So there were many T-shirt firing apparatuses. The first one was like an oil drum with a tube at the top. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:08 And a man pushed it out and then it just – On wheels. On wheels. Like a full-on siege machine, like a war machine. Sure, yeah. It did look like a Mad Max kind of – I was going to say, was it Fury Road-y? It was Fury Road-esque.
Starting point is 00:26:22 I mean it was painted with the Clippers logo so it it looked less apocalyptic, but it definitely looked improvised. It's like a man made this to kill someone to get his water. Yeah, and they say that the Iraq War was in vain. Sure. So the man pushes this barrel out, and then it will just start firing T-shirts in the air willy nilly that come down onto the crowd. Does it spin on its own or how does it change the direction of where it's shooting?
Starting point is 00:26:52 I think it just shoots in one direction. The man is kind of constantly pushing it. You said they were high tech so I was imagining one that could spin on its own. It's like on wheels. If you imagine the wheels on a garden, what's that called? Wheelbarrow.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Like wheelbarrow wheels. Got it. Yeah. I'm with you now. But then toward the end of the game, the mascot, Chuck the Condor, who is the new Clippers mascot, Who people do not like, but I thought he was very cool. Really? Did he have sunglasses? No.
Starting point is 00:27:28 That's one of the best ways to tell if a mascot is cool. He was wearing safety pads because he's endangered. Sure. And I think wants to set a good example. Right. For kids. Right. Who are dunking.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Was he doing some inline skating? He was not doing any inline skating or razor scootering. Oh. He did a lot of dunks, which I thought were very good. Can I ask you a question? Please. Does he have a hoverboard at all? No.
Starting point is 00:27:49 No, no one came out on the thing with a hoverboard. I was very disappointed. Does he get to use a trampoline to do the dunks? Yes. Yeah, he was trampolining into the dunks. Okay. At one point in the one that I was at, they threw maybe whoppers or something out of the rafters from the catwalks in the ceiling. They threw whoppers that each had.
Starting point is 00:28:12 And I don't know if it was whoppers, but it was something that did not seem like it would make it all the way down. But tied up with like army man parachutes. They're throwing burgers from the ceiling? Roughly, yes. Was this a fever dream? What the hell was going on? They got sued because they just hit vegetarians in the face. Wow, that's wild.
Starting point is 00:28:34 There was also a lot of flames. Oh, I didn't get any flames at my game. Really? Nothing was aflame. There was significant flamage. How? They had flame guns on the back of the baskets. They were shooting flames into the air.
Starting point is 00:28:49 Geez. It's like, is this a professional basketball game? Adding to the Fury Road comparison. It was significantly crazier, for example, than the Harlem Globetrotters game that I recently attended. So Chuck the Condor came out. Yeah. Did some dunks. Was very cool cool Chuck is good
Starting point is 00:29:08 If you don't like Chuck You need to take another look at him Maybe look at some YouTube videos of him dunking Did he do any fun dunks? No all sorts of they were all fun Really? No they all had like flips Sometimes a young man would bounce the ball
Starting point is 00:29:25 and Chuck would get it in the air. Anyway, very impressed. I don't remember seeing Chuck at all. Who was the previous mascot? Clippy, the paper clip from Microsoft. It was just boat man. Yeah. And then, so he comes out on i mean we you said siege machine for the first one
Starting point is 00:29:50 but this second t-shirt gun was absolutely a siege machine it was like a gatling gun whoa that you know that he rode out on it was motorized, and this had maybe 60 slots for t-shirts. This thing is giant. And then just fired, just rotated around the court, firing it into the audience. It was terrifying, but also awe-inspiring. There was a kind of a moment of like, you know, look what we can do.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Right. In this great country of ours. Look what we've made. Like a kind of fuck you to God and the laws of nature. Yeah, a tower of Babel that launched t-shirts at everyone. A real Sodom and Gomorrah. Yeah, sure. You could probably fire them up an ass against God's wishes.
Starting point is 00:30:44 Sure. Maybe. Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. Yeah. I was like, in the time between the first T-shirt cannon I saw and now, I mean, what does the future hold? Here's the central problem of the T-shirt cannon. If you get the T-shirt, it's going to be double XL, isn't it? Yes.
Starting point is 00:31:02 It's going to be double XL, isn't it? Yes. I didn't even think about the practical nature of catching the T-shirt and then wearing it around. It fires a clothing item. Yeah. I don't even know what these looked like. I mean, I know the thrill. I don't know it firsthand, but I can imagine the thrill of catching something that's been thrown from the court. I never caught a fall ball.
Starting point is 00:31:24 I've never caught anything. But I feel like once you got that T-shirt in your hands, and it's not even, I bet it's not even from the team store. It's probably the one you get for signing up for a credit card. My buddy Matty is like a lifelong fan. Yeah. And I asked him like, oh, what do these T-shirts actually look like? He's like, when I was a kid,
Starting point is 00:31:45 granted it might be a different policy now, he was like 12 or something. I caught one of these when I was 12 and it was just a blank t-shirt with the Ocean Spray logo on the sleeve. Just Ocean Spray cranberry juice. It's just whoever has t-shirts lying around
Starting point is 00:32:01 just gives them to the team and just lets them rocket it out clipper shirt i don't know what these were but that was his experience getting an ocean spray sleeve shirt he is describing a clippers game but he might as well be describing an assembly at the boys club that i went to as a small child he's like here someone donated these just some shit like the time that i finished second in the costume contest and I got a flat of Diet 7-Up and a
Starting point is 00:32:30 flat of Carnation Instant Breakfast. Alright, let me hear you Clippers fans. These shirts are irregular! Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! Who wants to see a preview screening of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids 2?
Starting point is 00:32:49 Open your mouths because we're going to fire a hose of cream of mushroom soup. Y'all ready for this? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morse, boy detective. Gillian Jacobs, Gillian Jacobs. Yep.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Hey, guess what? We got an advertiser on this week's program, Jordan. I'd love to hear about that. Oh, that's Casper Mattresses, my friend. Yes. Got an advertiser on this week's program, Jordan. I'd love to hear about that. Oh, that's Casper Mattresses, my friend. Yes! Casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. Obsessively engineered mattress, shockingly fair price. These things, made in America.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Number one. They have a risk-free trial and return policy. You can try sleeping on a Casper for 100 days with free delivery and painless returns. And they also come in an exploding box. Let's hear about that. I got one. Okay, so Casper sponsored One Bad Mother a few months ago, and they said, we want you to have experience the product. And we had bought a really expensive –
Starting point is 00:33:58 I had always had this dream of having this mattress from this place in San Francisco where they put the mattress in front of the store, and then you walk over the mattress to go into the store. Like I just, I was so taken by that like county fair sales technique that I just always wanted this. And so we had had this 12 year old mattress and we're like, we're just going to get that expensive ass mattress. We're going to do it right. We're going to live it up.
Starting point is 00:34:24 And it stunk. And one day, Teresa and I looked at each other, and we're like – and I was like, I kind of think this mattress stinks. And Teresa was like, I didn't want to say it because I knew how much emotion you had wrapped up in this mattress. And then we got a mattress from Casper when they sponsored her show. And it comes in this box, and you open up the box, and it, like, explodes out of of the box not in a dangerous way, in a fun way and yeah, I really like it. It's great. I am super, in fact
Starting point is 00:34:51 I am so happy with it that I You're lying on it right now. You actually have required everyone to come to your bedroom to do the podcast. But I mean that's not anything new. I just used to do it for my easy chair. Right.
Starting point is 00:35:06 Now you're- And I'd have everyone crowd around me there. Yeah. You're laying down and we're squatted next to you to paint a picture for the audience. But sincerely, I like my mattress so much that I, with my own money, bought a pillow. There you go. That's real. That's all true.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Casper.com slash JJGo. Yep. That's where. That's all true. Casper.com slash JJGo. Yep. That's where you go. Use a promo code JJGo at checkout, and you get $50 towards any mattress. These things cost $500 for a twin size, $950 for a king size. $50 off that by going to Casper.com slash JJGo, putting in the promo code JJGo. Yeah. There you go.
Starting point is 00:35:42 It's amazing. There's nothing more fun than opening up that fucking box. I'll tell you. You start opening it up and it just goes. It's like one of those dinosaurs that comes in a little capsule and you put it in water and it turns into a dinosaur. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:55 You know what I'm talking about. Had this as a kid? Put him in my mouth. Casper.com slash JJGO. Casper Mattresses. Their slogan is, had it as a kid, put it in my mouth. Casper.com slash JJGo. JJGo at checkout.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Terms and conditions apply. I also want to mention, Jordan. Please. Perhaps you've heard of an event called MaxFunCon. I have. Have you heard of its sister event, MaxFunCon East? I mean, I sure have. But, Jesse, there hasn't been a Max Fun Con East for some time now.
Starting point is 00:36:27 So I've just put it out of my mind. Well, Jordan, I've got great news for you and everyone who lives within driving distance of the mountain range resort area known as the Poconos. Max Fun Con East is back and it's better than ever, Jordan. Let's hear the details. Okay. It's this, what's it called? What's the one in September? Is that Labor Day? I don't know. Yeah, because
Starting point is 00:36:54 you can't wear white after Labor Day. Labor Day weekend in the Poconos. A beautiful place called the Inn at Pocono Manor. Looks a lot like the Hotel from the Shining. Yes, let's get that out there. Right up front. Is it haunted?
Starting point is 00:37:08 Probably. I'm not going to say for sure because I don't know, but there is a skeet shooting range, so there's got to be some ghosts. Got to be. You know what I mean? Got to be. There's no corn maze.
Starting point is 00:37:18 But besides that, at the very least, we're looking at a dirty dancing situation. Okay. Bare minimum dirty dancing up to Shining. We're going to have, just like we're at Max Fun Con West, we'll have live entertainment. I'm not going to reveal the lineup, but I'll say this. A couple very good friends of yours that you know from this podcast are going to be there. We got live live entertainment we got
Starting point is 00:37:45 uh lectures uh i'm not saying i'm not saying that uh anybody from pop culture happy hour is going to be there because we don't announce the lineup ahead of time but no just so you know uh we got classes i think glenn said it on twitter today oh Oh, did he? Yeah. Okay. Well, Glenn's going to be there. So is Linda. Yay, cool. But all kinds of amazing people are going to be there and it is your amazing opportunity to meet other beautiful, lovely, MaxFun
Starting point is 00:38:16 type people, dance like a crazy maniac or as Dan Deacon says, like a grown-up Bart Simpson. It is really who... Tickets are on sale now. They just went on sale, maxfuncon.com. It is going to be a blast and I hope that I will see every single one of you there. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. The program's Jordan and Jesse Go. I'm your host, Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morse, boy detective. Killian Jacobs, skilly beans. Cool. That's good.
Starting point is 00:39:04 That's dope. Is that a childhood nickname? Nope. Okay. My adult nickname. My childhood nickname was Little Toots, and I've left that behind. This is my nickname. Now, Gilly Beans. This is my nickname from my time in seminary.
Starting point is 00:39:19 Sure. Gillian, I wanted to ask you something about your uh netflix program love which i think jesse and i both enjoy yeah really enjoy it has features uh uh multi-time jordan jesse go guest paul rust in the other leading role yeah i think we've kind of had love month on jg go we have paul rust mike mitchell oh yeah yeah we got him before you. Sorry. That's okay. I was the first guest on his show at UCB, his talk show. Oh, what's going on? The talk show where Mitch doesn't know who the guest is going to be.
Starting point is 00:39:53 Yeah, so I've scooped you guys. I was his first ever guest. I feel like a shithead. How did that go? This was a pretty amazing show. I don't think they do it anymore at UCB. Where a lovable, flustered old Mike Mitchell is the host of a talk show but has never seen any of the jokes and doesn't know who the guests are
Starting point is 00:40:11 going to be until they come out. And it's just a real lovely look at a man falling apart gradually. Gradually? Yeah, I mean all at once immediately as soon as he gets on stage. Do you remember what it was like? It was really fun. I didn't know Mike. I remember they had me sneak in the side entrance at UCB on Franklin, and they were like, he
Starting point is 00:40:39 may not know who you are, but it doesn't matter because women fluster him anyway. So it won't matter at all if he's familiar with your work or not. But he had watched Community and didn't know who I was, but was just like immediately stumbling over himself, bright red. It was so sweet though. It is. It is. It was really sweet. It's very charming.
Starting point is 00:41:03 I think I was on it three times. I was a big – I don't want to toot my own horn, but pretty much, I think maybe the most. That's why they call you Little Toots. Toot Toot. Yeah. That and the farting problem. Shmell. Hence the ghillie beans.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Sure. Oh, sure. Yeah. You were basically to Mike Mitchell as Don Rickles, for example, was to Johnny Carson. Totally. Yeah. Totally. Totally. Yeah. Totally. Something interesting I saw on the internet is someone who was upset about love because
Starting point is 00:41:32 they felt it was unrealistic the way in which you guys travel around L.A. Uh-huh. And I'm wondering if you have seen this and if you have any response to the criticisms that it would take too long to drive from your apartment to that one rallies that's not there anymore. Oh, yeah. I have not seen it. And that's true. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:54 We're here. We like to think of ourselves as giving entertainers a platform to strike back against Internet strangers who may or may not have too much time on their hands. And I am really disappointed at the lack of vehemence in your response to this lonely stranger. Let me think of a justification. Let me think of a justification. We never said where the location of that church bliss house was. Oh, OK. So it could have been in Culver City right next door to the rallies.
Starting point is 00:42:36 OK. I don't know. I'll tell you. I found it very disconcerting. You know, that makes sense. That wraps up the continuity for me. That wraps up the continuity for me. I found it very disconcerting that your character and Claudio Doherty share a house on a street that I used to walk my dog on. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:42:52 Yeah. I guess you should be glad you don't live there anymore since we filmed there and I know how annoying that is. Well, I lived in Koreatown on a street that looked like New York. So the filming train pretty much never stopped running. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it wasn't always New York. There were times when it was Prague.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Really? Yeah. It just depends on the foliage they put in front of the building. One time it was a Danity Cain video. Ooh. Yeah. It was very fun. Cain video. Ooh. Yeah, it was very fun. Making the band.
Starting point is 00:43:34 Yeah, they took our block and cut it in quarters and made each quarter a different season. Ooh. So there was like snow at one part and autumn leaves at one part, and then they were doing tracking shots through the— Have you ever watched the finished video? No, I haven't. I would like to, though. Tweet John Kasich. Yeah. Add the vaping congressman and John Kasich.
Starting point is 00:43:53 Ask him where to watch the Danity Cade video. At rep underscore hunter. You know, on in something that I really, really liked in the show that maybe like is something that I'm a little bit skeptical of in other shows is the like when there's like a music montage in the middle of an episode and I'm, you know, usually not. And I'm like, all right, you know, we've seen these before. But fucking you and Andy Dick freaking out on that subway train was so great. Oh, fun to do, I imagine. Yes.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Very fun. Yeah. There's it seems like it seems like they just like let you guys free form dance around and then found all the best. How can you contain him? You just sort of have to turn on the camera and let him go. He's a bit of a colorful personality. He is.
Starting point is 00:44:36 He is. I mean, it was amazing. I'd never really worked with him. He was on an episode of community, but as Chevy Chase's pill hallucinations. So none of us worked with him. He played a little man in a helicopter, airplane.
Starting point is 00:44:52 So, yeah, it was my first time working with him. And Joe Swanberg directed that episode. And I kept thinking. Oh, really? Who directed Drinking Buddies? Yes. Oh, that's funny. I was like, this is the strangest, strangest Joe Swanberg movie ever.
Starting point is 00:45:08 But yeah, we had a great time and they had one of those like cars parked. I can't remember where it was, just like a lone L.A. subway car and we were in there for hours and they just said, go, Andy. And he made use of every bit of space. I remember I was like, Andy, who's your favorite physical comedian you've ever worked with? And he goes, well, I'm pretty good. He is. He is. He is.
Starting point is 00:45:38 He is. I mean, he's really good. I've seen News Radio. Yeah, sure. He really seems to be fucking with the extras in that. Oh, yeah. It's really great. I really imagine what it's like to be one of the extras in that scene and think of, like, this must have been a fucking thrill to have to sit there while Andy Dick fucks with you.
Starting point is 00:45:56 Yeah, very prominently featured in that scene. Absolutely. Yeah. A few years ago at Max FunCon, we had the Upright Citizens Brigade ass cat show. A few years ago at Max FunCon, we had the Upright Citizens Brigade ASCAT show. And a part of that show is they come out. It's a long-form improv show, but a part of the show at the beginning is they come out and they, like, talk to the audience and they love to do polls of the audience. And they brought out this kind of – this poll that they described as, like, a signature, like something they like to use in certain situations.
Starting point is 00:46:32 And it was, which will there be more of in this room? People who've ridden an elephant or people who have been inappropriately sexually engaged with by Andy Dick, engaged with by Andy Dick. Like either verbally or physically engaged with by Andy Dick. And they said, we think that the results will surprise you. And if I'm remembering correctly, in that room, two people had ridden in an elephant
Starting point is 00:47:00 and three people had been sexually. Like, and it wasn't even like been sexually... And it wasn't even in L.A. One of them was in Austin, Texas. They were just walking down the street, and Andy Dick touched their butt or something. But it was truly amazing. It was a real tribute to, I think, the cultural lasting power and the gift that Andy Dick gives all of us. You know, in a similar zone, I feel like I am failing as an Angeleno because I've never gotten drunk with Kiefer Sutherland. Oh, is that a big thing?
Starting point is 00:47:39 Yeah. I've been with him as he was drunk, but I don't drink. I wasn't drunk. I've been in the same room. As drunk but I don't drink. I wasn't drunk. I've been in the same room. As drunk Kiefer Sutherland. At a table, yeah. Man, you're really rubbing it in. Gotcha.
Starting point is 00:47:52 I feel like now I'm the only one. Kiefer, if you're out there, and I know you are. He was lovely. I bet. He seems great. Yeah. Yeah. Just let me know.
Starting point is 00:48:04 Hit me up. We'll. At rep underscore Hunter. Yeah, I'm rep Hunter. Oh, man. Yeah. I bet the vaping congressman and Kiefer Sutherland roll pretty tight. Yeah, you know they do.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Fucking getting their hummers. Yeah. Certainly when he's in San Diego for Comic-Con, I would imagine. Yes. 24 reboot. Yeah. Yes, exactly. They get into one of those limos with a hot tub.
Starting point is 00:48:28 Or just to complete his booster gold collection. He doesn't have to be there to perform. Sure. He's not somebody's – Kiefer Sutherland isn't your dancing monkey. I understand. I'm sorry. He's just trying to get some back issues. I get it.
Starting point is 00:48:40 I get it. Do they even have that at Comic-Con? There are zones with that in Comic-Con now. Where they actually have comic books? Yeah, I know. It's in Hallsad. And it says, yeah, I think that mostly when you want to do that these days, you go to one of your lesser cons, your WonderCon, your Emerald City Comic-Con. I've been to WonderCon.
Starting point is 00:49:02 Me too. A good place to both see an extravaganza but also to buy comics. I like those. You know, Comic-Con has since kind of become a pretty crazy, unmanageable thing. But those, like, lesser ones are really fun still, I think. Anyway, what did you do at WonderCon? Did a community panel. How did it go?
Starting point is 00:49:19 Kel Suprise. I think it went well. I don't really remember it. I think it went well. I don't seen her in a long time. But they always have little food setups. But it's like Sony only, Universal only. And of course the community had the worst food setup. So we were trying to run over and sneak food for whoever produced French.
Starting point is 00:49:59 Got to get that sweet Universal food. Yeah. Yeah. But they're pretty strict about that. universal food yeah yeah but they're pretty strict about that so um yeah that that's mainly your experience of those places is time spent in back rooms and freight elevators and back hallways i love i love a good freight elevator yeah you're you're you know very briefly shot out into rooms with a bunch of people and then whisked away to another back hallway and then you're on a loading dock and then you're on a golf cart. I was really thrilled to learn, and I didn't know this, and perhaps it's my own blinkered ignorance for not knowing this, that Comic-Con itself continues to be run by like a weird local cabal of aging nerds who show up to meetings.
Starting point is 00:50:49 Yeah. Or that it's still run by like a continuation of the same funny organization of guys that got together to talk about sci-fi novels. People who met in the letters section of Bat Ape magazine. Exactly. Yes. People who – yeah. People who met in – I think that is so good.. Exactly. Yes, people who – yeah, people who met in it. I think that is so good. Like I can't imagine – like I know that people are like mad. Oh, it's too corporate or whatever like that.
Starting point is 00:51:13 But like I just love – I just love the idea that at the end of the day, like the people making the vote are just – are all dungeon masters. Or like guys who look like George R.R. Martin. Yes, exactly. I met him at Comic-Con right here. Or like guys who look like George R.R. Martin. Yes, exactly. I met him at Comic-Con right here. How was that? It was pretty cool. In a freight elevator? No, at like the Entertainment Weekly party.
Starting point is 00:51:32 And I was, I'm too afraid to go up to anyone, but my agent was like, I'm using you to meet George R.R. Martin. He's a big community fan. Kindly, barely tolerated meeting me. I think when you're George R.r martin at comic-con you've met four trillion people in a day so he was very sweet but i could also see that he wanted to go home does anyone ever do george rr martin uh cosplay at comic-con i mean inadvertently greek fishermen oh yeah greek fishermen suspenders yeah Yeah. Beard. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:07 That'll be – if I ever go again, I'll do that. This is a vow I make to you. I – the one panel experience I had was also at a WonderCon. This might be a repeat story. Apologize. Apologies if you've heard this before. I don't know. Go fuck yourself.
Starting point is 00:52:19 Oh, yeah. I'm talking to someone. You probably listen to too many podcasts. The one con panel that I did, I was writing for a web series on Geek & Sundry, which is owned by Felicia Day. So I was doing the Geek & Sundry panel. It was supposed to be me, our buddy Sam Riegel, who did all the voice directing for that particular web series. It was a cartoon. Felicia Day and Will Wheaton. Will Wheaton did not show up,
Starting point is 00:52:46 so already the audience was very mad. Yeah, I bet they were. That I was not Will Wheaton. Yeah. You weren't on Star Trek at all. No, I've never been on Star Trek. You weren't even on Deep Space Nine. You weren't even on Voyager.
Starting point is 00:52:57 There's no footage of me playing board games with my funny friends. I know. Which is a mistake. You are voice actors. Anyway, but I remember thinking,, oh boy, like, I mean, I'm so not the guy they're here to see. You know what I would have done? I just like as the booze started to cascade across the room, I just would have been like, I'm friends with Cora. I'm friends with Cora. Janet Barty. She does the voice of Cora. at Barney. She does the voice of Cora. Yeah, I mean, Sam was great there because he was not only has been the voice
Starting point is 00:53:27 of Donatello, but also Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney. So he's got all of this. He's got all this fucking cred going into it. Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney. If you don't know, Gillian is our colleague. How could you tell the glazed look in my eyes? Our colleague, Lindsay
Starting point is 00:53:44 Pavlis is a very serious video game player. And she favors – well, she loves a game called League of Legends. But her other favorite games are these like obscure, more socially oriented games. And one of them that is like one of her all-time favorites is Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney, which is a legal simulation of some kind. Some reason, as you said that the first time, I thought a cat was involved. But now I'm seeing it very wrong. Well, I think it's Japanese.
Starting point is 00:54:22 It is. So I think at any time, a talking cat can probably enter into the proceedings. Yeah. Great. So what are you filing briefs? What are you doing in this game? Have you ever played Phoenix? I have not played Phoenix.
Starting point is 00:54:33 Right. I think it is like, oh boy, what would I liken it to? I mean, I think it's more like a choose your own adventure type thing. I think it's mainly like a little comic book. And then you can choose to like object or a line of questioning or something. So I think it's more like a choose your own adventure type things. I think it's mainly like a little comic book. And then you can choose to like object or a line of questioning or something. So I think it's more like a choose your own adventure. I might enjoy this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:51 So, you know, they were into Sam just because of those credits. Right. And he's a delightful, charming guy. Yeah. So I was up there. I'm like, but I got nothing for him. I mean, these are certainly not Fuel TV fans. You know, probably two ticks nerdier than the average Jordan Jesse Goh listener.
Starting point is 00:55:09 Right. You know a lot about Christian Sonic the Hedgehog fan art. I do. I didn't know about it then. That's a recent thing that I've learned about. Gillian, for you, there's an odd genre of people doing religious fan art of sonic the hedgehog in religious poses yeah where he's jesus or just jesus is carrying him through the beat on the beach or whatever ah yeah so there's one set of footprints exactly right got it and it belongs
Starting point is 00:55:36 to knuckles yeah that's what i was carrying you come on duck there's something that they'll do i'm sorry i've talked about this fucking 10 times on the show. It's the funniest thing in history. They will do a Bible verse and then just add the name of a Sonic character and still call it the Bible verse. It's like no one comes to the father. No one comes to the father but unto me, knuckles. That's not how it goes. You can't do that. You can't quote it.
Starting point is 00:56:02 Anyway, whatever. Little weirdos. They do have a nice they do have a nice version of uh the bible with knuckles words and red right exactly the gospel um and then there's shit where they're all pregnant i don't think there's any overlap but huh uh that's a big a weird little genre is male pregnancy fan art some of those yeah i get it some of those may be immaculate Conceptions. Could be. Where it's like the men,
Starting point is 00:56:28 like Bart Simpson. No, no, that's a virgin birth. Oh. Immaculate Conception was the birth of Mary because she was the only human born without original sin. Jesus' birth was a virgin birth. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for heading off the angry tweets we were
Starting point is 00:56:43 going to get. You should have sent those to at rep underscore hunter. So, yeah. What was I talking about? Oh, the panel you were on. Oh, the panel. M-Preg. Let me finish talking about M-Preg.
Starting point is 00:56:56 That is where Sonic the Hedgehog and Bart Simpson, a lot of Bart Simpson, are. Bart? Yeah, there's even, I saw one where Bart was impregnated by Homer. That upset Brian so much. He screamed, oh, no, so loud that we could hear it in here. And I think there's also – okay, I cannot confirm this. There might be something from Brian to Google. So if I was going to make that, Bart would get Milhouse pregnant.
Starting point is 00:57:26 Oh, that's your jam. I'm not saying I've ever planned out what I would do if I had. I just don't have the drawing skills. Yeah, sure. And you're not good in MS Paint. Yeah. So yeah, I think there's one where Bart has been impregnated by Homer. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:57:43 Yeah. But you didn't have this vitalnated by Homer. Anyway. Yeah. So, yeah. But you didn't have this vital information at the time. Right. When I needed it was when I'm sitting, you know, I'm sitting in front of a gallery of nerds who were- And this wasn't a panel about street fighter variants. No.
Starting point is 00:58:03 And their differences and similarities. Sure. I can speak on that. No. Their differences and similarities. Sure. I can speak on that. Sure. But I was very, you know, I thought, okay, basically all anyone wanted to hear was Felicia Day talk about the hunks from Supernatural. She has been a guest star on. I guess the leads of that are two prominent hunks.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Don't say you guess. You know. They're hunks. They're pretty hunks. They're hunky. Great buns. Yeah. You know, you're right.
Starting point is 00:58:34 I'm being sex negative. They're hunks. Yeah. Great packages. Sure. Thick schlongs. Sure. I wish them the best.
Starting point is 00:58:43 Sure. Thick, dewy schlongs. And then she told me, actually, she told me after the panel that there is a lot of fan fic of those two brother characters going to town. Da doy. Trying to empreg each other. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:58 Anyway. So, yeah. So, I would say. Well, you know, that Mr. Mom movie was very influential to a lot of people. I understand. I have never seen Mr. Mom movie was very influential to a lot of people. I understand. I have never seen Mr. Mom. Is that about a pregnant man? Isn't it Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a man who gets pregnant?
Starting point is 00:59:10 No, that's Junior. Junior. Sorry, I made up Mr. Mom. Mr. Mom has either Hulk Hogan or Michael Keaton. Okay. Michael Keaton. I think you're thinking of Mr. Danny. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:22 Thank you. With Hulk Hogan. Yeah. Oh, wait. There was – People were really freaked out about gender roles in about 1988. Yeah, they were. No, I would say, yes, Junior starring Emma Thompson in Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Yes, yeah. Emma Thompson, I think, is the fertility doctor who shoots the baby in Arnold's urethra. Yep. I don't know if that is a scene in the movie. She puts it up as urethra? Is that how they do it? I always thought it was through the belly button, but that's probablyrethra. Yep. I don't know if that is a scene in the movie. She puts it up as urethra? I don't know. I think he just... I always thought it was through the belly button,
Starting point is 00:59:47 but that's probably what I thought. I think part of Junior... It could be into the nipples and then down to the belly. I think they don't really explain the science of Junior. Why not?
Starting point is 00:59:56 Yeah. They do. I remember. Okay. What's the justification? There's a mosquito embedded in amber. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:00:03 No. They draw the DNA out of the mosquito. It's Jurassic Park. Oh, Jesus. Oh, I remember. The key is transparent aluminum. So they get the whales out of the ocean and they have to beam them onto... Is that Star Trek 4 The Voyage Home, huh?
Starting point is 01:00:26 What about the part where Arnold Schwarzenegger picks up the mouse and he goes, hello, computer? Still Star Trek 4. Really? Mm-hmm. But that was a pretty good Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. Wonderful.
Starting point is 01:00:36 Yeah. It was great. It was great. It was really terrific. Thank you. So do you have, I've been seeing just in kind of my, you know, showbiz person, comedy, social media averse that people are already like trying to get them Comic-Con hotels. Do you have to go this year?
Starting point is 01:00:55 Oh, I don't think I do. OK. Community is over. I think it would be a big stretch for Love to have a panel at Comic-Con. I mean even at the current state of San Diego Comic-Con, I feel like that's a stretch. Sure. So, no. I think unless they do some kind of community reunion panel, I don't think I'm going.
Starting point is 01:01:15 I didn't go last year as well, which was the first time in maybe five, six years that I hadn't gone. How about that? How about it? You're going to miss the freight elevators. Oh, boy. Meeting George R.R. Martin. Going to that? How about it? You're going to miss the freight elevators. Oh, boy. Meeting George R.R. Martin. Going to that TV guide yacht. Oof.
Starting point is 01:01:29 There's a TV guide yacht? Yacht being a term for a boat. Wait, so what happens on the TV guide yacht? That's where they interview you for TV guide. Which is still around? Hey, now.
Starting point is 01:01:44 Hey, now. I don't know. The cast of Community was on the cover of TV Guide. It was our only cover ever. We won a fan poll. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:53 And you get to... Was the poll among fans of Community? You know, it was like Chicago politics. Vote early and often. They didn't say... You could only vote once. We won that one. Congratulations.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Thank you. I don't mean to diminish your accomplishment by saying that I'm surprised that – Yeah, yeah. That one accomplishment that you've had is saying that I didn't know TV Guide was still around. It's still around. I bet there's some impreg where Joel Bones Don Glover or something. Sure. It's got to be.
Starting point is 01:02:29 Right? Sure. It's got to be. I'd watch that. Yeah. Everything. And handsome guys. They're pretty funny, too.
Starting point is 01:02:35 Yeah. They're really funny. They really know how to juice a joke. Yeah. Like really sell. Every joke in that sex scene would be sold. Like you would buy it. They believed it.
Starting point is 01:02:47 No winks. I mean they're the best impreg actors in the business for my money. Yeah. For my money. Wait. So what happens on the TV Guide Yacht? You buried the lead. Oh, they interview you.
Starting point is 01:02:59 Oh, okay. There's a photo shoot. There's usually a photo shoot there and they interview you and you're on a slightly rocking boat. So I'm usually in high heels trying to not fall as I walk on this boat. Across a rickety – Yeah. Yes. It's always – that's the thing about Comic-Con is generally all the interviews are in the same place year after year and you're interviewed by the same people generally.
Starting point is 01:03:25 So Michael Osiello, TV line, same basement of the same hotel. Entertainment Weekly, they've got the same rooftop area. I mean you're just – it's year after year. It's sort of like a Groundhog's Day of interviews. When you go on the TV Guide yet, do you get as many TV Guides as you want? No, but I think they did have free beverages. That's pretty good. That's good. I have not been invited on the TV guide yet, but I have been in the
Starting point is 01:03:49 Cat Fancy Dinghy. It's a lot of fun. That's where you want to be anyway. Yeah, that's where the real fans are. We got kicked off the Warner Brothers stage. That's not that bad. It's true. We did do that. We got invited to do a show at the Warner Brothers outside stage at Comic-Con, and they
Starting point is 01:04:04 cut our power, admittedlyst because we were swearing. But not that much. And also, let's be clear. They didn't tell us that we shouldn't swear. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Was it being broadcast around the world?
Starting point is 01:04:18 Nope. The head of worldwide marketing for Warner Brothers happened to wander by. She saw it and was very deeply offended by us. And, yeah, cut our microphones. Really? Yeah. Because they love it. They love it.
Starting point is 01:04:30 It's our city, baby. Yeah. No. But Cat Fancy Dingy was great. Yeah. And that, you know, to be fair, that didn't happen before our friend Scott Simpson had a chance to say that the city seal of San Diego was a flip-flop rampant over a field of volleyballs. Yeah. Which is something that I've held very close to my heart ever since.
Starting point is 01:04:55 Terrific. What? Yeah, flip-flop rampant over a field of volleyballs. I've got to look up the seal. Yeah. It's not actually it. He was just goofing around. Oh.
Starting point is 01:05:03 Just goofing around. Oh, just the old goof-em-up. Just a classic goof. I get it now look up the seal. It's not actually it. He was just goofing around. Oh, just a little goof. It's a classic goof. I get it now. Just a classic goof. But I mean, the best part about the Cat Fancy Dinghy is that Lil Wayne is usually there. What? Yeah, sure. And he's got a
Starting point is 01:05:18 he's got a, he travels an army of video vixens. Oh, yeah. He's pouring heavy cream on them. Oh, yeah, I bet he is. Sure. That's a nice dinghy. It's a lot of fun. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go.
Starting point is 01:05:34 I'm Jesse Thorne, the host of Bullseye. Bullseye's your guide to what's good in pop culture. Every week, I'll sit down with people like Elvis Costello, Elizabeth Banks, and Spike Lee to talk about their creative work and their lives. Find your new favorite TV show, book, movie, or album and gain new insights into the things you already love. That's Bullseye from MaximumFun.org and NPR. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, You don't have to change your nickname. I think some people think they have to have a new nickname. You just go with Gilly Beans. Sure. Gillian Beans Beans.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Gillian Beans Beans is even better than Gilly Beans. Yeah, Gillian Beans Beans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gillian Beans Beans. Yeah, that is fun. That's my favorite. That's our electro clash band.
Starting point is 01:06:38 I was going to say my all-girl Japanese punk band. There you go. Either way. Japanese punk band. There you go. Either way. When something momentous happens to you, we ask you to call us
Starting point is 01:06:47 at 206-984-4FUN for our beloved segment, Jordan, Jesse, Go. Nope. It's called Momentous Occasions. The podcast. What are we on? Episode 390 or something?
Starting point is 01:07:00 Jordan, Jesse, Go, colon, Momentous Occasions, colon. The burgeoning. Yes. There you go. I was going to say the, colon. The burgeoning. Yes. There you go. I was going to say the ghost dimension. Okay, got it.
Starting point is 01:07:10 Let's take our first call. Hi, this is Jeremy from Brooklyn. I recently started working at an ad agency. Can you pause it for a second? I like this Jeremy from Brooklyn. I want to make that clear at the start. I'll say it for a second. I like this, Jeremy, from Brooklyn.
Starting point is 01:07:24 I want to make that clear at the start. And I want, because we had a caller calling in using a ridiculous voice. They ended up last week or two weeks ago, they posted on Facebook about their experience. And we had laughed about the ridiculous voice they were using. It was a committed Max Funster. I don't want him to think that we think anything but the best of him for calling in to our program, ridiculous voice or no. Sure.
Starting point is 01:07:50 I like that Jeremy has called in from Brooklyn using, like, let's make a scheme together voice. Like, I don't know if that's his natural voice or he's doing a thing or maybe he's nervous because he's talking to the message machine. But, yeah. All right, you mugs. Yeah, mugs.
Starting point is 01:08:09 Okay, let's press play. Hi, this is Jeremy from Brooklyn. I recently started working at an ad agency, you know, just like a normal office, except that today I've made my debut as a talking turkey in an ad. I feel pretty good. Thanks. Yeah, you should feel good. I mean, you know, obviously I think we all noted the man's unusual voice.
Starting point is 01:08:36 Fucking perfect for a talking turkey. What a home fucking run. Gee, that is great. Good casting, ad agency. If you've got a voice like that, just work at an ad agency. You'll be a talking animal before long. Do it. Gillian, have you ever had to be the voice of anything? I've done cartoon voices.
Starting point is 01:08:51 Oh, yeah? What have you been? I was Stobby on Monsters vs. Aliens, the TV show, which lasted for one season. Okay. Yeah. What else have I done? What is Stobby? Stobby was a
Starting point is 01:09:05 Sorry, we mispronounced it Thank you There are two A's in there Was I a monster or was I an alien? You could have been the product of an unholy union between a monster and an alien I think I was an alien I was an alien I was purple
Starting point is 01:09:20 I was very tall And I had a dog-like creature called Vornikarn. Vornikarn. This sounds fucking rad. Yeah, why one season? I don't know. Bring it back. Why are you not doing a panel on this at Comic-Con? If they can organize one, I'll be there. You know what? Give it 15
Starting point is 01:09:38 years. It'll be like, I'm sure there's a Snorks panel right now. Yeah, yeah. Ricky Lindholm was in the cast. It was a good cast, yeah right now. Yeah, yeah. Ricky Lindholm was in the cast. It was a good cast, yeah. Okay. Hey, Netflix. Hey, now. As long as you're bringing shit back.
Starting point is 01:09:50 Yeah. Yeah. Let's get more Vornicon. Bring Vornicon back. Vornicarn, Vornicon. I can't remember. If you're worried about it not having a big enough audience, I know a couple podcasters who'd be interested in roles.
Starting point is 01:10:03 Sure. Sure. Number one, Tom Sharpley. Yeah. Number two. I think I know the perfect two guys to play Stobby's friends. Yeah. She had no friends, guys.
Starting point is 01:10:14 What? Was she lonely? Yeah, she was very unliked by the rest of the crew. Oh, wow. Yeah. I did a mini series for Cartoon Network called Long Live the Royals that I much enjoyed doing. Was that about the Royals? The Kansas City Royals?
Starting point is 01:10:31 It was. You got it. George Brett, Dan Quisenberry. Yes, all of those people. The late Dan Quisenberry. May he rest in peace. What a name. Yeah, submarine pitcher.
Starting point is 01:10:43 Oh, wait. This is better. This is more Comic-Con down the middle. I did a voice on Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Hell yeah. That's fun. That's some cred right there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:53 You can take that all the way to the Comic-Con bank. Dana Snyder was a special guest on our Comic-Con show. Didn't get to come out. Nope. Our mics got cut before he came out. Oh, was that the show where you guys got? Yeah, they got kicked off. Dana Snyder's a great guy, though.
Starting point is 01:11:08 Very nice guy. Super funny. What did you play on Aqua Teen Hunger Force? Some sort of... It was the Larry Miller hair system episode, and I played... Who was the neighbor who wore the undershirt all the time? Carl. Carl.
Starting point is 01:11:24 So in this world, Carl got – what was it? Larry Miller was selling some kind of hair system. I know. Trying to recount the plot of an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, it does feel like you're going crazy. I played Carl's wife in an alternate universe. Okay. How's that? That's great.
Starting point is 01:11:44 That's terrific. Yeah, that was really exciting for me. Jordan, how come this is a serious question? I know there's a lot of frivolity on the show. You probably got a sense of the usual tone of the show. I'm having a great time. Frivolous. Clearly.
Starting point is 01:11:58 Frivolous, if nothing else. By the way, stop doing takes to microphone. It simply doesn't work. I think it comes through. The energy. We all know when it comes to physical comedy, you're a real Andy Dink. But this
Starting point is 01:12:15 is serious. How long have we been doing Jordan, Jesse Goh, Jordan? A month or two? Minimum. Yeah. Minimum a month or two. How many cartoon shows are there I don't know several
Starting point is 01:12:27 you and I are both professional actors are we not yeah we've both been on comedy bang bang one time sure my episode hasn't aired yet
Starting point is 01:12:36 but I was I filmed one I could get cut from being bad you were in that bank commercial I was in that local television commercial
Starting point is 01:12:44 in San Francisco where I had to take off all my clothes. What? And pay me $300. What? So we're both professional actors. We are real professional actors. And we're celebrities with a built-in following. Sure.
Starting point is 01:12:58 Think about, I mean, I'm not, a lot of people will say to me right now, Jesse, you're just talking about Lothreeper. I'm not just talking about Lothreeper. I'm talking about Lothreeper. I'm talking about Craxworth. I'm talking about Rachetacular. I'm talking about Drew Davenport. These people will follow us to the end of the earth i've got five digits of twitter followers that would be very interested in your program
Starting point is 01:13:30 ladies and gentlemen if you create your own cartoon programs you're leaving hard green cash money on the table not casting us in your programs. You could call it stunt casting and sure, it will have the impact of stunt casting, but you're also bringing gifted professional actors to your program. Do you need efforts? We'll give you efforts. That's heavy. Oh, ow. How about that?
Starting point is 01:13:59 That's I stepped on something in my son's room. I wasn't wearing shoes. Yeah. Could be a cartoon about that. Louis Anderson, if you're out there, we will come on Louis' World. Life with Louis? Life with Louis. I think you conflated Life with Louis and Bobby's World.
Starting point is 01:14:16 Okay, Bobby. The two 80s stand-up comedians that weirdly got kids' cartoons. I'll come on Bobby's World. I'll come on the game show with the suitcases of money. Sure. Deal or no deal? Deal or no deal. I just think that people are leaving a lot of money on the table and –
Starting point is 01:14:40 Do you have a dream show? Maybe we should make this specific. Yeah. I mean, of course I want to be on Adventure Time, but I want to be on- Oh, I was on Adventure Time. Ah, you've fucking hung out with Kiefer Sutherland. You've been on Adventure Time. He's never been on Archer.
Starting point is 01:14:55 You are living both of our dreams. I'm probably on the new season of Archer, and we just haven't seen it yet. I have been on Archer. Who were you on Archer? I was a senator. Okay. Fuck you. No, you on Archer? I was a senator. Okay. Fuck you. No, you think I'm joking right now?
Starting point is 01:15:10 Fuck me. No, but you can go fuck yourself, Gillian Jacobs. Bye. Bye. Ladies and gentlemen, that was my former friend, Gillian Jacobs, from Archer. I'm just saying. Congratulations. Was I on Archer?
Starting point is 01:15:25 Can you verify that? Maybe I wasn't on Archer. I'm just saying. Congratulations. Was I on Archer? I don't know. Can you verify that? Maybe I wasn't on Archer. I might have made that up. I was a senator on something. Might have been Archer. Was it the musical Damn Yankees? Maybe I wasn't on Archer.
Starting point is 01:15:38 Maybe I wasn't. I don't think I was on Archer, guys. You don't. No. Venture Brothers. Venture Brothers? Was I on Venture Brothers. Venture Brothers? Was I on Venture Brothers? Venture Brothers is a pretty good one, too.
Starting point is 01:15:47 That's still fucking pretty good. Yeah, that's a really good one. That's still really good. I was on Venture Brothers. Well, still. Stans, we're still mad. Yeah, still mad. Glad I caught that one before John Kasich got all those tweets.
Starting point is 01:15:57 Okay, let's take another call. All right, I want to be on Archer. You can be on Venture Time. We all do. Put us all three. Put us on as three friends. We're a package deal now. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:03 Yeah. Now, from here on out, Gillian doesn't work unless we're working. Yeah. Let's take our next call. Call your agent. Call your agent. Jordan, Jesse, go. Good morning.
Starting point is 01:16:16 This is Mrs. G from Tennessee calling in for a momentous occasion. I am on my way home with 16 beautiful Cochin chickens. I have decided to go ahead and get into the chicken business. I decided to get them, get them, get them, and see what I can do. I am terrified that I'm going to fuck it up colossally and kill every single one of them. But that's what this year is for. Just fuck it and do it. So here we go.
Starting point is 01:16:46 I'm terrified. Thanks. Bye. Yeah. Miss G from Tennessee. Miss G from Tennessee. Making it happen. Suck it, Van.
Starting point is 01:16:53 Yeah. Van is out. Miss G is in. Best caller ever. Way to go. A little sing-song voice. I mean, Miss G from Tennessee, I don't know what you were leaving behind. Yeah. To get into the chicken business.
Starting point is 01:17:07 Yeah. I would guess it was professional radio announcing. One pursuit of music. Because of your beautiful voice. If not possibly ballpark announcing. And melodic timbre. It might be Dawn from En Vogue. Could be. She could probably do Harmony.
Starting point is 01:17:20 Do you think Miss G from Tennessee should replace Vin Scully? Yeah, I think so. When Vin Scully retires, end of the year. Yeah. But, I mean, I'm sure Miss G from Tennessee is going to have so much success in the chicken business. Honestly, I'd like to hear Mrs. G from Tennessee fill the shoes of the late, great Mel Allen as the host of This Week in Baseball. I mean, that's... But, you know, she's got this chicken dream.
Starting point is 01:17:43 Let's not push her into professional voice work. And I would like to hear her say, how about that, before I commit to having her replace Mel Boy. Oh, and also, awesome baby, so she can replace Dick Vitale. And also, let's get ready to rumble so she can replace Michael Buffer. That's too expensive to say. Don't say that, Jesse. You can replace Michael Buffer. That's too expensive to say.
Starting point is 01:18:04 Don't say that, Jesse. When I was working for the aforementioned Fuel TV, we were at a – I did like goofy interviews at red carpets. And Michael Buffer was at the red carpet. The weirdest fucking people show up at these things. Like it's the people who are in the movie but also just like people whose publicist got them yeah uh so it was all at these things you would always see lloyd from entourage the guy who played jeremy pivots assistant would just be at anything whether he was you know related to it or not uh but also michael buffer the guy who did that and my the producer was there with me was like get him to say to say, are you ready to rumble?
Starting point is 01:18:45 Because then we can use it in things because it's our audio. Let's get ready to rumble. Excuse me. Michael Buffer fucking knew this trick. Oh, yeah. He knew that his shit was copyrighted. He's not going to say it for free to some fucking bozos from Deep Cable. Did he give you an alternate bootleg version?
Starting point is 01:19:04 Did he go like, let's get ready to shmumble? Here's what he did. Yeah. It was for the red carpet to, you don't mess with the Zohan. Oh, yeah. And he said, let's get ready for Zohan. Oh, wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:17 So we've got that audio if anybody wants to use that for something. I don't know if you knew this, but since they've had a lot of success producing shows for HBO and stuff, the Duplass brothers have been doing really well financially. And they actually hired him to say, let's get ready to mumble. For their mumblecore movies. Fuck me. That was awful. Also, you actually say like Mickey Rourke hires him or something to. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:42 To say it for his little dogs. Yeah. Anyway, we can punch up that to Yeah. Before he goes into an audition. For his little dogs. Yeah. Anyway. We can punch up that joke later. Let's take our next call. Hey Jordan, Jesse, Goh. This is Adam from Nashville. Can you pause this, Brian? This is probably a really good call. It's just kind of a letdown after Mrs. J.
Starting point is 01:20:01 Yeah. Let's see. Listen. Let's listen to it. I'm willing to give it a fair shake. Let's just give ourselves permission to bail if we don't like it. Okay. Like just go home? Yeah. Or I mean just move on.
Starting point is 01:20:15 Sort of like what Gillian would do if she found out that she got a part but we weren't involved? Mm-hmm. Bye. Bye. Yeah. Let's just hear it. We'll take the temperature of the room. If we want to bail, we'll bail.
Starting point is 01:20:26 Okay, good. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, Goh. This is Adam from Nashville calling with a momentous occasion. I just stopped to get gas at a gas station here, and a nice homeless man decided he would come up to me and try to sell me a hot dog he had recently purchased inside said gas station. And I politely refused. And he went on to try to sell that hot dog to many of the other customers at the gas station.
Starting point is 01:20:58 And as I was getting back in my car to leave, I hear a knock at my door, at my window. And he knocks. I roll down the window just a bit, and he yells something incoherent and then shoves the hot dog into the crack of my window, spilling hot dog guts and ketchup and mustard all over my car. I open the door, threw it out, and sped away as fast as I could. I'm scared of homeless men with hot dogs. Anyway, thanks. Have a great day. Bye.
Starting point is 01:21:29 Do you think he was already scared of that before this or it's a new thing? I'm bailing. Not into it. Not into it? Yeah. Bailing. And I just say one thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:39 This guy's from Tennessee, right? Yeah. Just like Miss G. You know this hot dog guy? You know what line of business he should have got into? Oh, God. Chickens. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:49 That's where the money is. You guys want to bail? Let's bail. Okay, bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
Starting point is 01:22:00 Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, the voice of the millennial generation. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Gillian, Gillian, beans, beans, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, the voice of the millennial generation. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Gillian, Gillian, beans, beans, Jacobs. It's fun. It is fun. Beans are fun. Beans, beans.
Starting point is 01:22:14 Beans. Mm-hmm. Do you have any thoughts on, you look like you're gazing off into the distance wistfully like you had a love affair with some beans. That you were like remembering fondly. In a wayfully like you had a love affair with some beans that you were like remembering fondly. In a way, I have had a love affair with beans because I literally
Starting point is 01:22:31 I very sincerely was daydreaming about that part from Waiting for God where he goes, big fat juicy beans. Holds up. Holds up great. Everything. Everything. Yeah. Everything about it. Holds up great. Everything. Everything. Yeah. Everything about it.
Starting point is 01:22:48 Well, Gillian Jacobs, what a joy it has been to have you on our program. We're so grateful to have had you here. I learned so much. Do you want to like recap it? Do you just have some stray thoughts? What are you going to take away from this experience? Are we ready for Bean's final thoughts? There's a video game where you're a lawyer. There's a video game where you're a lawyer.
Starting point is 01:23:07 There's a comic book where you're a time, maybe space traveler. Yeah. An Earth-based man who will sometimes go into space. But you travel through time? Yeah. But you're not a time lord. But you're not a time lord. And there's different types of T-shirt guns.
Starting point is 01:23:28 Yeah. I mean, that's pretty much it. I can't think of anything else. Well, I mean. This could have been a five-minute episode. We're all going to get into the chicken business. There's no point about that. Well, let's see how it goes for Miss G from Tennessee, and then we'll follow in her footsteps. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:41 I'm interested to hear in the future how. Because, you know, did you know that chickens peck each other to death? Oh, I did know that. Yeah. Yeah, so we'll see how it goes for Mrs. G from Tennessee. Hopefully she'll give us a point. Put little mittens on their beaks. That's a really good point.
Starting point is 01:23:56 Yeah. Then what would they eat? Well, they'll have IVs. Like glucose strips. Got it. Well, you'd have to hire a lot of chicken nurses. Well, you know, you can just, like, get people who are in chicken nursing school to come by. Right, or like chicken medical assistants.
Starting point is 01:24:10 Yeah. Chicken phlebotomists. There's a way to do it on the cheap. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I'm not even half the businessman you are, frankly, Jordan. I appreciate your advice. I've had a lot of success in the barnyard arts. Got it.
Starting point is 01:24:24 The bjarts, I call them. Animal husbandry, is that what you mean? Yeah, yeah, that too. All that. He calls them the bjarts. Oh, sorry, the bjarts. I think he was pretty clear about that, Gillian. Sorry.
Starting point is 01:24:38 He went to BYU. Gillian Jacobs. Oh, sharts. I got my degree Sharts Got it Gillian Jacobs The Star of Love Second season on the way
Starting point is 01:24:52 Yeah Because the first one was so fun Thanks Kyle Kinane He's been on Jordan Jesse Go Hasn't he? Oh yeah I don't think so
Starting point is 01:24:58 No Really? He's been on Bullseye We should get Kyle Kinane On Jordan Jesse Go That'd be great He's got that distinctive voice People are going to love that Tried to get him to go see An all-female Descendants Cover band with me And he couldn't We should get Kyle Keenan on Jordan Jesse Go. That'd be great. He's got that distinctive voice.
Starting point is 01:25:06 People are going to love that. Tried to get him to go see an all-female Descendants cover band with me, and he couldn't because he was in New York. What a fucking asshole. Get at him on Twitter. You know what he was probably doing while he was over there in New York? Recording liners for Comedy Central. Yeah. Another voice, another job we don't have.
Starting point is 01:25:20 Sure. Yeah. It's a good gig. Anyway. One time a good gig. Anyway. One time a Jordan Jessica fan named King Grebo tried to get me that job.
Starting point is 01:25:29 He was a really nice guy. That's cool. Kyle Kinane got it. He's a really nice guy too. Yeah. I'm just saying
Starting point is 01:25:34 that we should really be on our tour by now. It's kind of a roundabout way to get to that point but sure. I think it was
Starting point is 01:25:41 pretty you know it's an important point. No I know. I know. It's like if know, it's an important point. No, I know. I know. It's like if you asked, let's say you asked Bernie Sanders about Kyle Kinane. Would he get around to breaking up the banking system? Wait, what?
Starting point is 01:25:56 Because it's important. Yeah, no, he would. You got to circle back to what's important, what's close to your heart, what you're passionate about. Yeah. You know what I mean? Listen, at the very least, do some impreg art of us yes please we can't be a famous voiceover actor i just want a drawing of me where i'm pregnant and i look distressed about it yeah oh you're supposed to be distressed oh yeah that's a that's a facet of impreg artists that the men
Starting point is 01:26:18 look they look uncomfortable they're are they worried because men don't usually get pregnant i think it's just, it hurts them. Yeah. Cause they're like, Oh, that's like their face. Like, Oh no.
Starting point is 01:26:32 I'm pregnant. Oh no. How are we not? How are we not doing cartoon voices right now? Did you hear that America? Killian Jacobs is on love. It is a fucking great show. It's really – and Gillian is particularly spectacular on it.
Starting point is 01:26:52 You should go out and watch it on your Netflix and appreciate that major entertainment star Gillian Jacobs took the time to stop by our program. The least you can do is stop by her program on the Netflix website which is Netflix.org It's a government organization. Our producer is Brian Fernandez aka Sunny D laughing outside the box making noises
Starting point is 01:27:18 that upset some of you. Maximumfun.reddit.com is where you can talk about it on Reddit and you can join the Maximum Fun group on Facebook. If you're on Twitter, hashtag it JJGo. We're always interested to see what people have to say about the show on Twitter there. Tag your impregs. You know what?
Starting point is 01:27:33 Get in on the conversation. Use social. Let's see. Tweet your corrections and comments to at rep underscore hunter, the vaping congressman. And if you want to come to MaxFunCon East, tickets on sale now, MaxFunCon.com. Do it. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, go. MaximumFun.org.
Starting point is 01:28:00 Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.

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