Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 533: Sadness Mangoes with Hari Kondabolu
Episode Date: May 29, 2018Comedian and filmmaker Hari Kondabolu is our guest on the program this week and they get into Jesse's journey on the road to loving mangoes, the power of Hari's Twitter feed to make history, and Jorda...n's involvement in a playlist battle between a Weezer fan and a Dave Matthews Band fan. Plus, Hari talks about his new Netflix special, Warn Your Relatives and his very public struggle with The Simpsons. SAVE THE DATE: The MaxFun Super Secret Project is dropping June 13th! There will be a STAR-STUDDED Super Secret Release Show on June 12th at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. Mark your calendars!
Transcript
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Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free.
Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you.
It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Nice to see you, my friend.
You too, buddy.
Great, we're to the point. Hello, Jesse. We're podcasting, you and I.
On the new Jordan Jesse Goh, we've replaced genuine bonhomie with false bonhomie.
In the form of yelling.
Hello.
Hello, friend.
We're speaking.
You're listening.
Well, back to the bunkhouse for us.
The bunkhouse?
Yeah, for some reason, I imagine that we were cowboys.
Oh, okay.
Oh, I like that.
That informs my performance, then.
Okay, good.
Can we start over?
Yeah.
I mean, you could be, do you think you would be a cowboy or maybe a cowboy chef, a cowboy
troubadour?
Cowboy poet.
Cowboy poet.
Yeah.
Right.
I feel like I would be soaking the beans.
Bean soaker.
Yeah, I'd be making the cowboy coffee, soaking the beans, taking care of the wagon train.
I'm writing poems about jackrabbits.
Yeah.
We are the two most disposable people on this cattle drive.
If there's cutbacks, we're the first to go.
You don't have to run faster than the cougar.
You just have to run faster than Jesse and Jordan.
Am I right?
Yeah, that's what they say out on the range.
If a cougar is attacking your herd.
I tried to think of what animal would attack.
I've not watched enough Marty Stauffer's Wild America to remember exactly what would be the appropriate.
I think cougar sounds fine.
That seems right, right?
That seems right.
I mean, it introduces a confusing element of adult sexuality.
Oh, sure.
People would wonder if you were talking about an older, a lusty older gal.
Yeah.
But you're not. You're talking about a mountain lion. Yeah, they older, a lusty older gal. Yeah. But you're not.
You're talking about a mountain lion.
Yeah.
They didn't have lusty older gals on the range.
No.
They died early.
Right.
Exactly.
Everybody got diphtheria.
Everybody died young and toothless.
Mm-hmm.
But yeah, I think I would be making beans.
Sure.
I'd be, hey there, Jordan.
How about some of my beans?
I can't have beans now.
I'm too busy considering this roadrunner.
Got it.
I'm considering him for a poem.
We've got a guest on this week's Jordan, Jesse, Go, as we do many weeks.
Sure.
Bordering on most weeks.
Yeah.
Almost every week.
98% of weeks.
Sometimes someone doesn't show up at the last minute.
You know it.
And Steve Agee can't come.
Yeah.
So then we do the show by ourselves.
Steve Agee's busy taking Instagram photographs with a beautiful actress.
Sure.
Which is, I don't know a lot about Steve Agee's life outside of when he comes here because
we have texted him because somebody didn't show up to be a guest on Jordan Jesse Go.
Yeah.
And I love that part of my relationship with Steve Agee.
The rest I only know from Instagram. on Jordan Jesse Go. Yeah. And I love that part of my relationship with Steve Agee.
The rest I only know from Instagram
and that's just
exclusively pictures
of him with beautiful actresses.
I like it when he gives me
a little hit of that vape.
Oh, yeah.
He always has a vape.
Vape that vape.
I'm doing it right now.
Okay.
In my mind.
We have a guest
on this week's program.
You know him as
a beloved stand-up comic.
He's got a brand new special
on... Netflix.com.... an internet service called Netflix.com.
I bet you can get it on digital versatile disc from Netflix.com as well if you're doing a mail order thing.
Right. Well, I want to hear the director's commentary.
Absolutely.
And see the animated menus.
I love animated menus.
You know him as the Simpsons hater who ruined your childhood.
I hate the Simpsons.
Wait, you made the Ghostbusters movie?
Oh, what a bitch!
I hate the Simpsons so
much, and if I could go back in time,
I would kill every single person
who created that show. Oh no!
Except Tracy Ullman, who actually had no
involvement in the creation of that show.
How do I know that? Because I'm a Simpsons fan and I actually know all the sort of details of their creation.
He likes it.
He likes it.
Our friend Hari Kondabolu.
Nice to see you, friend.
Nice to see you as well.
I was thinking about when you were telling the story about Steve Agee.
Yeah.
I know what Steve Agee looks like, but in my head it was Tommy Agee, the former New York Met.
Oh, sure.
And it made a much more entertaining story, even though I do know what Steve A.G. looks
like.
Sure.
Well, in my head, it was former 3030 band Howard Johnson.
Well, when you mentioned that, I imagined a hotel playing third base.
Right.
In my head, it was Steven Seagal, who I call Steve Seagal.
When you described that to me, Hari, I was thinking of a can of chock full of nuts.
Wow.
So, yeah, there's a lot of confusion here.
Sure.
Boy, we were all not on the same page.
Chock full of nuts is good at stopping those grounders and pop-ups, but doesn't have a
good throwing arm.
Yeah.
In the end, it turns out we were all trying to talk about David Cohn.
Oh, sure.
David Cohn.
Coney.
Conehead. Television analyst. Talking about David Cohn. Oh, sure. David Cohn. Coney. Conehead.
Television analyst.
Talking about David Cohn is like dancing about architecture.
Ain't that the old adage?
How are you doing, Hari?
I'm good.
I'm in Los Angeles, California.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
You've been back and forth a lot lately.
Yeah.
I mean, what I've been told-
You're a New York resident.
You should say that.
I'm a New York resident, Brooklyn, New York, and I've been told that traveling to LA a lot is probably a good sign because things are happening in your career.
Unfortunately, I don't like Los Angeles, which makes this difficult.
Do you like seeing your old pals Jesse and Jordan?
Yes.
You said it unconvincingly.
I love being in this bomb shelter where you do the recording.
But you're safe if the fucking big one drops sometime in this 80 minutes.
Was there an earthquake recently in Los Angeles or LA area?
That's usually a safe thing to say.
Were you in here at the time?
No, I don't think we've ever been in here during a quake.
I think I've only noticed one earthquakes in the 10 years that I've lived in Los Angeles. And I don't know
whether that's because we've had an unusually good run of relatively few earthquakes or that
I am earthquake insensitive. And I fear it is the latter. Yeah, I think that's the case with me as
well. I think I will gradually I will notice I will think I notice one, but I always have to check Twitter to see if there actually was one.
Yeah.
Because, I mean, this is a regional thing, but you probably notice it if you follow a lot of comics on Twitter, is that, like, comedy earthquake Twitter is a thing.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
It's not quite as robust as, you know, book Twitter or black Twitter, but I mean it has its fans.
Or something's going on on Hollywood Boulevard Twitter.
Oh, sure.
I feel like that's a big one.
They close it down for a premiere.
Annoyed by a premiere.
Annoyed by the Millennium Falcon that's blocking traffic.
Yeah, that's one of the top categories of Twitter.
I don't follow these Twitters.
Really?
Yeah.
What does Comedy Earthquake Twitter sound like?
Are you on having seen your new special or portions of your new special, are you on Mango
Twitter at all?
You know what?
Mango Twitter, if it's created, it will be created by me.
And tech entrepreneur Anil Dash.
Probably.
Probably mostly Anil, considering he has more Twitter followers.
And I might claim a lot of credit, but I think he has more insides in the Mango world.
I mean, that hashtag MangoTalk should probably be the beginning of that.
Wait, so explain mango talk to me?
So I have a joke in my new special, Warn Your Relatives, but how much like Indian people love mangoes and how all the stereotypes you hear are so corny.
But one that is true and that's close to the heart is that we like mangoes.
And so at the end, I talk about how much I love mangoes. And if I could, I would start a mango podcast where me and other famous Indian American celebrities, all 15 of us, would talk about mangoes.
And I give this example.
I said, hmm, that's a great mango.
How's your mango, Cal?
Sometimes I say, Hasan, if the crowd's a little younger, don't tell Cal.
Sure.
Okay.
And then Cal slash Hasan was like, how's your mango, Dr. Sanjay Gupta?
Always gets a big laugh because he's a figure you don't always think about.
Yeah, that's true.
But we all know him and love him.
We all know him and love him.
Some good sounds in the name, too.
Yes.
And that pt is a good comedy sound.
And it's actually Gupta, but I intentionally mispronounced it for the laugh.
Right.
Sold him out.
Don't know him.
Sold him out.
mispronounced it for the laugh.
Sold him out. Don't know him. Sold him out.
So, and then he says, how's your mango, Mindy?
At which point I do a very bad Mindy Kaling
impression. It's a good mango!
But she's a lady. Sure.
She's a woman. And so... And where did Hari
go? A beautiful lady was just here briefly
and then disappeared. Yeah. And all I
do in the show so they know I'm different characters
is I go from one side of the stage
to the other side of the stage so like whoa
we're really nice
I'm glad we're learning
about the craft of comedy here
I think Jordan Jesse Go listeners
know that I'm a real fruit lover
I love a good piece of fruit
sure and I have no
patience for a bad piece of fruit either
never shall it
cross my lips.
Okay.
And sure, like I'm probably best known for my enthusiasm for the satsuma tangerine.
It's fine fruit.
And more recently, I've been very excited about cherimoyas.
Tell me more about the cherimoya.
Oh, that's the custard apple.
I have heard about the cherimoya.
Yeah, there you go. I have heard about the Cherimoya. Enthusiast is a two and Anil is an 11.
Right, right, right.
But I became Twitter friends with Anil Dash, who is Indian American.
Yes.
And Anil will occasionally – the two main non-tech or social justice things he will tweet about are Prince.
He will occasionally go off on a Prince jag.
Correct.
He will occasionally go off on a mango jag.
Yes.
Where he just gets really into his very passionate feelings about particular types of mangoes,
manners of consuming mangoes.
And one day, I had dismissed mangoes.
I'm going to be frank with you.
This is not that long ago.
I'm going to say five years ago.
I had largely dismissed mangoes.
Not that I wouldn't eat mangoes, but it just wasn't part of my life.
Too much work, too messy, too stringy, et cetera.
Right now, to me, it feels as if you are describing a hate crime and I'm trying to be okay with
my friend Jesse describing a hate crime.
But it was perfect.
Five years ago.
Okay.
He's changed a lot since then.
He might have.
Okay.
Things have happened.
You learn.
Can I ask you something as a mango fan?
I want to know how ashamed
you are of me. I do
like mangoes, but I agree
with the too much work situation,
so I will buy them pre-sliced.
I'll buy a little plastic
container of them and snack on them
throughout the week. Am I
bullshit? No, no, no. I think
it is time-consuming.
And also, you know, it's really hard to criticize you for that
because the mangoes we get in this country aren't particularly good.
I've read a little bit about the history of that,
and it's really depressing.
The best mango, most of the world's mangoes.
Wait, you're telling me that the history of the international fruit trade
isn't just a bunch of love and donuts?
No, no, no.
As the classic saying goes. There's a lot of love and donuts? No, no, no. As the classic saying goes.
There's a lot of colonialism and unfair trade practices and migrant labor.
Oh, boy.
So you're saying that United Fruit was not a charitable organization?
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
So some years ago, Anil had one of his signature mango rants on Twitter.
And I have a lot of respect for this man.
I think he's a very smart man,
very conscientious man.
I also love Prince.
So I said,
you know what?
I'm going to get serious about mangoes.
You know,
I'm not gonna,
I'm not gonna slide on my vague impressions from when I was 15 years old or whenever
this was the last time I really gave mangoes a chance.
I'm not just going to settle for the sliced mangoes from Trader Joe's,
which I understand exactly why you're doing it.
Those sliced mangoes from Trader Joe's, not bad.
No.
And they're right there.
They sliced them up for you already.
Or even.
Sometimes they're too mushy. Yeah, and sometimes they're right there. They sliced them up for you already. Or even – Sometimes they're too mushy.
Yeah, and sometimes they're not mushy enough.
That's a big problem with them is they're often not the right amount of frat.
Do you want to pick up a free $20 bill or you see $21 bills?
You're like, no, I'm not going to pick up those $21 bills.
Right.
Yeah.
I'm not a madman.
No.
It's still $20.
And certainly I – what we hear in living in Los, as we've discussed many times on the show,
one of the best things about living here is that there are cut fruit vendors who will cut some fruit for you for $5.
And when I learned that you didn't just have to accept all the fruit,
you could ask them not to give you any jicama if you didn't feel like eating jicama that day.
You could mostly just get—
I don't know why you'd say no jicama.
Well, I'm just saying on that day.
On a certain day.
There are jicama days and there are non-jicama days.
Yeah.
Sometimes you just want the luxury of just give me mangoes and watermelons.
Okay.
I want all luxury products here.
There's no other – there's no filler.
Jicama is a wonderful filler, but it is filler.
Oh, God.
I'm a texture guy, baby.
So I said I'm going to get serious about mangoes because I'm missing something here.
And also because I live in a substantially Latino neighborhood, there's access to non-
What's a standard mango that you get at an American grocery store called the big stringy green one?
Yeah, I know what you mean.
But you have maybe some red mangoes available to you.
Yeah, and my personal favorite is the Atahualfo mango, which is like the little yellow one.
Very good.
And when the little yellow one is in season, you can buy it by the crate from a man on the side of the road here in Los Angeles.
People claim those are Alfonso mangoes in their line.
Those are actually Atalfo mangoes.
Yeah.
Wow.
This is a Mexican mango.
And I also – my wife lived for five months or something like that, six months, I don't remember, in Cuba where there was not very much food.
So it was hard even for Western people to find enough food.
And one of the main things that they ate was mangoes because there were enough mangoes.
And so she is a real good mango slicer.
And I said, honey, let's practice a few times together.
I watch a YouTube video about slicing mangoes.
Get it so I can get nice and close to the pit.
And then I'll do the,
I'll discore the sides and flip them inside out and munch the chunks.
Right.
Which is a nice way to eat it.
And this has completely turned me around on mangoes.
I couldn't have been more wrong before.
I now will eat during the season when the,
when the nice mangoes are around and cheap, I will eat one a day without hesitation, every day.
Hari, as a mango aficionado, what are your favorite varietals and what is your favorite way to prepare one?
I think it's very difficult for me to tell you what my favorites are.
Just because when I'm in India, I don't really know what the names of the different mangoes are.
I'm just given them and they're very good. And I don't really know what the names of the different mangoes are. I'm just giving them and they're very good.
And I don't ask.
I would like this variety of mangoes.
I'm like, give me one that makes me happy.
And people always deliver.
They're not going to give you sadness mangoes.
No, no, no.
Oh, my God.
That's for the British.
Yeah.
We should explain that the main thrust of anti-colonial activity in India during the colonial era involved giving unripe or undesirable mangoes to the British colonial overlords.
Yeah, that was a form of protest until we realized that it was inefficient.
Right.
I will say, though, Sadness Mangoes is my favorite Mountain Goats album.
That's true.
It's one of the more acoustic ones.
Yeah.
Mangoes to me, you know, it's funny.
This isn't funny.
This is kind of sad, but this is how much I love mangoes.
For all of my major breakups, this is a weird pattern.
I have bought, which tend to happen around mango season, strangely enough.
I've bought whole mangoes, cut them, not into little pieces, but kind of big chunks
so I could eat them
out of the skin
and played Ken Burns baseball
from beginning to end.
Right, sure.
How long is Ken Burns baseball?
How many installments is this?
It's nine innings,
each half innings,
18 parts.
Each part's, what, an hour?
Sure.
Plus extra innings.
Plus extra innings
that they made.
The special they added later.
Which is a very, it's very hilarious that they were talking about how the Giants hadn't won since they moved to San Francisco because they had to cover the Red Sox in the year it came out, the Giants won.
Yeah.
You tempt fate.
This is what happens.
I know.
So I just watch, you know, I watch that while eating mangoes.
And for a little while, I feel okay.
eating mangoes. And for a little while, I feel okay. Do you feel like when you are doing that, you are aware of the extent to which you are an undergraduate's paper about the second
generation immigrant experience in America? Every day is that. Every day I walk around,
I know there is an 18-year-old writing a paper about me, citing things I've tweeted.
Sure.
It is very funny how I'm both someone who's like creating history all the time while also – I'm aware of like – like I'm actively creating it.
Like I'm writing it down while also doing it.
Like the Apu thing is like kind of a little bit of both, right? Because I'm analyzing
a thing, but I'm making it at the same time.
The best example is when Totally Biased with W. Kamau
Bell, formerly on the FX network,
sadly also on the FXX network,
was still on the air. Probably the best
watch network there is. FXX.
It's a great place to see a Simpsons reruns
and then Jurassic World.
Edited for TV. They should have started with the
Simpsons reruns before they put us on there probably.
Yeah.
Sure, yeah.
But Aparna Nanchela wrote on that show
and Aparna appeared on Conan
and she got back to the office.
I'm like, Aparna, are you the first Indian American woman
to appear on late night television doing stand-up comedy?
So we sat in her cubicle for a good five minutes
and we're trying to think about who else could it possibly be.
Okay, well, Emo Phillips.
I think he's white. He is white. Okay to think about who else could it possibly be. Okay. Well, Emo Phillips. I think he's white.
He's white.
Okay.
Take Nataro.
Bill Burton.
No.
Okay.
No.
Stephen Wright is weird.
So then we decided, yes, you are, Aparna.
You are the first Indian-American woman to do stand-up on late-night television.
So then I tweeted that in all caps because it was important.
Congratulations to Aparna Nanjala for being the first Indian-American woman to do stand-up on late- night television. So then I tweeted that in all caps because it was important. Congratulations to Aparna Nanchella
for being the first Indian American woman
to do stand-up on late night television.
Next thing I know,
there's a Jezebel article
about Aparna Nanchella
being the first Indian American woman
on late night television.
And while they were writing it,
I saw there was a footnote.
And I went to click the footnote
and the footnote was of my tweet.
Wow. You have the power to control Je footnote was of my tweet. Wow.
You have the power to control Jezebel.
I controlled Jezebel.
When you get out of this, in all caps, would you just tweet Jordan Jesse Go is the one podcast everyone should listen to?
Yes.
Thank you.
Yes, I will absolutely do.
But then all of a sudden there was all these other articles about her being the first Indian American.
It was one of those weird things.
It's that easy, huh? In terms of you being the first Indian American. And it was one of those weird things. It's that easy, huh?
In terms of you being the authority on things,
this is something I have wanted to ask you.
Uh-huh.
One of your famous early comedy bits
is about the complicated relationship you have with Weezer.
Oh, yes.
I was wondering, as Weezer somehow continues to continue, do people always want you to weigh in on whatever the latest Weezer thing is?
Yeah, which always feels really strange.
That does happen.
I always thought that my big contribution to popular culture would be destroying Weezer.
Yeah.
And I thought that's –
They're very delicate though, Not hard men to destroy.
I'm going to hear about Weezer for the rest of my life.
I was pretty sure that would be the thing.
And little did I know-
That you would kick it up a notch.
Yep.
Yeah.
People do ask me, but it's kind of weird.
It's like, I don't know what to say.
Matt Sharp's still not in the band.
Pinkerton was now 20 years ago.
Green Album, I still think sucks. Maladroit still
sucks. Make Believe still sucks. I like two or three songs from recent albums. The albums
I generally listen to on airplanes when they offer them for free. I'm like, you know what?
I'm already scared to death. Let's make this a little worse.
Sure. And yeah, I mean, it only also comes out whenever a new album comes out, and Janine Garofalo mentions it to me.
Oh, okay.
She is still a fan.
She's never wavered from being a Wizard fan.
I certainly have wavered.
She'll talk about it, and then she'll claim that I was never a real fan, that I'm a phony, that my criticisms are phony, that I haven't heard the record.
And we go back and forth like this.
But you have – so you would like to refute that claim.
Would you do sit down and give each one a chance?
The last couple I have, and to be fair, I don't even know when I stopped.
It was a few albums.
It was maybe before or after Hurley.
It was the album right before or after.
The one that was like Everything's Gonna Be Okay, whatever that album was.
I forget the name of it.
But it was a few tracks on there that were very familiar and pleasant to hear.
They had the buzzing sound I like.
Oh, yeah.
The four-part barbershop harmonies.
I also like that buzzing sound.
They have that buzzing sound.
They have the four-part barbershop harmonies, lyrics that are not stupid.
Sure, yeah.
They're like silly and quirky or heartfelt.
That's a mix of that, right?
People will try and convince you that that stupid thing is on purpose, that it's making
some sort of larger point.
I don't buy it.
Five, six albums, it's hard to make that point anymore.
I don't buy it.
I got the point.
I feel like on purpose and making a larger point are two separate questions.
Sure.
It seems to me, not being 10% the Weezer enthusiast
that either of you have ever been
that I have ever been in my life,
I mostly just liked how that one video
had those baby animals in it.
It was cute.
That's Island in the Sun?
Yeah.
But it seems to me as though
it does seem like the songs are stupid on purpose.
Whenever I hear a new Weezer song,
it seems on purpose.
But I think it is
a second bridge to cross
whether that is in service
of making a larger point
or whether they're just like,
well, it's hard
to write complicated songs
and while it's hard
to make stupid on purpose songs,
it's a little less hard
and probably our gift
is making cute, catchy songs.
So maybe we just focus on not mucking that up.
The money's good.
Yeah.
They're not going to play our stuff on the radio probably at this point.
We've got a tour every year.
Let's release more product.
Oh, what?
I found more demos from 1994.
Let's put those out.
Sure.
That's another million dollars out of nowhere.
I have to say that I am grateful that given the music that I listened to when I was 16 or 17,
I don't think anyone is ever going to ask me to reevaluate the catalog of Blackalicious.
Nobody's going to be like, what do you think about that new Blackalicious album, Jesse?
What happened to Blackalicious?
They were so good.
That album.
They're really wonderful.
They've made some good music.
But it's been a long time.
I think Gift of Gab has some serious diabetes issues.
Almost lost a foot a few times.
Yeah.
There you go.
That's all I got on new Blackalicious stuff.
Have they released more albums?
Yeah.
They put out an album a couple years ago.
Oh, my God. I remember listening to them obsessively when I was in college.
Yeah.
I remember somebody pitched me, like, have you heard of Blackalicious, the underground hip-hop sensation that's back?
And I was like, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I've been to like 10 Blackalicious concerts.
Like all I did between 17 and 21.
But yeah, wish them the best.
Yeah.
Seem like nice men.
It was a lot of – Blackalicious and Jurassic 5 were very popular. Yeah. Seemed like nice men. There was a lot of Blackalicious and Jurassic Five were very popular.
Yeah.
Jurassic Five, I'd be less prepared to defend in 2018.
Fair enough.
Charlie Tuna was one of the representatives.
Charlie Tuna.
Charlie.
The presence was C-H-A-L-I-E.
Charlie Tuna.
Yeah.
Spelled with a two, number two.
Correct.
Named after a local oldies radio host. Is that true. Yeah. Spelled with a two. Number two. Correct. Named after a local oldies radio host.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Charlie Tuna was like a legendary LA radio DJ.
Oh, I remember him.
Yeah, there you go.
Interesting.
There you go.
In turn, of course, named after the famous tuna spokesperson.
Sure.
Right.
Yeah.
Famous living tuna who sold out his own kind and served and sold their meats to humans. I mean, if you were a tuna who had a hard time seeing and the only way to get glasses was to sell out.
Yeah.
You'd do it, right?
Is that the back story that he couldn't see and the only way?
I think he got his glasses.
I mean, you can't get glasses from other tunas.
You can't get it by schooling.
Right.
Which is the main thing that tunas do.
So you got to start doing people stuff.
You got to sell out your species in favor of people because people are the ones who wear glasses when
was the last time you saw fish in glasses these are the biopics that need to be made that aren't
being made other than charlie tuna dream casting let, I'm going to say Aparna Nancharla.
Wow.
Thank you.
That is very good.
Thank you.
There's a lot of reasons to like this. The first Indian American woman ever to do stand-up comedy on me.
To play a tuna with a stigmatism.
I'll tweet that out.
Please do.
Can't wait for the article that comes out about it.
It's going to be a very good article.
Yeah.
I am on a text chain with some fellas who are friends of mine.
No.
It's the main way I socialize these days is over text chain.
Hey, you're one step ahead of me, buddy.
The main way I socialize is by building robots with my children.
That's fun.
Sounds like it's not fun.
It's all right for them.
They like it.
It's not what I'd choose to be doing with my time.
Yeah, because you fear robots.
Yeah.
And it's maybe 15 people on the text chain.
And there's one person on there who is a recent Weezer defender.
And there's one person who is a Dave Matthews defender.
Oh, wow.
And we were – so it turned to – it started as dicking on them and then they turned on
each other.
Good.
As to, well, this sucks, but what about what that guy likes?
And so what happened was that a playlist off was declared.
Oh, wow.
And Weezer Guy had to make a playlist of recent Weezer songs.
Dave Matthews Guy had to make a playlist of recent Dave Matthews songs.
Which is hard because those are only on title.
Sure.
Exactly.
I don't know either.
Probably not.
Who knows?
And then we were to decide as a group which one was worse.
Can I ask a question?
You may.
The Dave Matthews band guy, was he allowed to include live boots?
Oh, good question.
It did not come up.
He did not include any live boots.
Some of those drum solos.
I know.
And heated discussion around both of these things.
But what we came to as a group was that the recent Weezer highs were pretty good.
There are a couple good recent Weezer songs.
One that stuck out to me was California Kids. I know that is a parody of something you would couple good recent Weezer songs. One that stuck out to me was
California Kids. I know that is a parody of something you would call a recent Weezer song.
Right. Hey, fellas, write one about fall. Yeah. Anyway, but California Kids is pretty good. It's
not aggressively stupid. It's got a good rhythm. It's a nice one of those. Right.
a good rhythm. It's a nice one of those. Right.
So there were some high Weezer highs,
but there were some lows.
Oh boy, those lows.
That made it onto the playlist?
That made it onto the playlist.
That's the key element here.
Theoretically,
the band where you can pick
out the highs is going to win that contest
because you're only picking out highs. You're making a playlist.
You're not listening to whole albums.
Sure.
But what this guy was saying were some of the choice, were some of the choice new Weezer
songs were, ooh, I clenched they were so bad.
Now, do you think that your negative reaction to Weezer, I'm going to open this one up to the floor just so both of you are prepared.
Do you think your negative reaction to Weezer is in part a relative reaction to the immense charms of their early hits, which I think even I, a guy who does not like rock music, can say, oh, those songs were immensely charming.
rock music can say, oh, those songs were immensely charming.
You know, like when we were all 14 years old or whatever, and the Buddy Holly song came out, it was like, oh, this is wonderful.
This is a delight.
And I think I could hear it right now, and I think the same thing.
I think, well, what a delightful song, immensely charming.
Do you think that that relative gap, the gap between them, colors your opinion?
Because honestly, I could listen to the greatest Dave Matthews song ever right now, and I would want to kill myself.
Like, I don't cast no aspersions upon those for whom that is important music and who love that type of music.
But for my personal taste, it's the worst music ever recorded.
I mean, for me, I can say Blue Album and Pinkerton hold up.
I'm not sure if that's true.
Like when you hear those albums, do you want to blow your brains out?
I feel like if I – honestly, like if I am goofing around on the internet and some peer of mine says there's a new Weezer song.
Here it is.
And I listen to it while I am not moved by it.
I think, yeah, that's fine.
Yeah, that's fine.
And I think that's partly because I don't have any emotional investment in their greatest works.
To me, their greatest works are also fine and fun um and so the fact
that their songs are dumber or uh 75th percentile relative to the 100th percentile of pop fun
that their original songs were doesn't bother me uh whereas the relentless competence of the
dave matthews band who are relentlessly competent at the thing they do and all talented musicians and so on and so forth still is in service of the thing I want
to hear least in the world. I think it was the level of fanaticism I had when I was a younger
person because it wasn't just the hits. I loved all the B-sides. I knew all the B-sides. I knew
all the bootlegs. I'd heard the kitchen demo from 94 that was released via Napster. It leaked.
Right. Because there were not a lot of Weezer songs for a long time.
And so you had those deep cuts, the shit from the Angus soundtrack.
Correct, right.
Which was actually-
Turned out a lot of the songs you thought were Weezer songs were actually Corky and the Juice Pigs.
Sure, yeah.
The old Napster problem.
Yeah.
I like that old switcher.
It's like, let's just label this as something else.
Right.
People are going to think it's Weezer, but it's not Weezer.
And then we get rich.
Correct.
Somehow.
Anonymously sharing these songs.
I mean, I made a lot of other people who were Weezer fans at the time.
I felt like there was a Weezer community.
Yeah.
And at the same time, I feel like, okay, so definitely there's a degree of my youth that's connected to it.
Did you ever see one of those secret shows they did as Goat Punishment?
No.
But they do all the Nirvana covers?
I have not.
No.
Cool.
Anyway, I never did either.
I wanted to.
Yeah.
Goat Punishment.
See, we should know what Goat Punishment is unless you're a real fan.
Yeah.
Goat Punishment is.
Yeah.
I mean, I love that band.
Guys, remember when they did a whole video that was like happy days?
You're like, what is this?
A music video or happy days?
Sure, yes.
We do remember that.
It came out with the Windows 95 startup CD.
Really?
Yeah, that and the Joe Carter home run of 93 that won the World Series.
Oh, wow.
There was also a video that was on that.
How interactive.
Yeah, yeah.
That's when I learned I loved baseball and Weezer and computers all at the same time.
Ooh.
I think you, that's how you found your digital pornography.
Oh, anyway, the end of this text chain discussion was that the Dave Matthews stuff never dipped above or below a certain area,
so you could kind of have it on and tune it out so
it won by not having those huge drop-offs anyway i mean i think there's a certain extent to which
the dave matthews band is the most consistent four of any band ever like it could be because
because it is designed to play in the background at a mall, then you're square.
Like how could it ever be worse than that?
It always has that vaguely gentle quality to it.
It's not poking you at all.
Will this be our most divisive episode of all time?
The lyrics in Crash though, pretty disgusting.
I never really thought about the lyrics of Crash.
Is it just a kind of a general make song, or does it have a sinister something?
Well, it says, hike up your skirt a little more.
Sure.
Show your world to me, a little boy's dream.
He's talking about her vagina.
Oh, boy.
Really?
Am I misinterpreting that song?
I don't know.
Hike up your skirt a little more.
Show your world to me, a little boy's dream. I mean, I hadn't ever thought of it as. Crash into up your skirt a little more. Show your world to me. Little boy's dream.
I mean, I hadn't ever thought of it as...
Crash into me.
It really is poetry.
I'm really reevaluating rock music in general.
Yeah.
It turns out that lyrics can be poetry.
Yeah, sure.
They're the new poets.
Wow.
It's not cowboys like me.
Yeah.
You know, out there frying up griddle cakes and considering the cactus flower.
Leaving aside this Weezer versus Dave Matthews, the classic decades-long debate.
Thatcher, Beatles, Stones.
That we've settled here on the program.
Can we all just agree on one thing?
Yes.
The greatest singer-songwriter of all time is Jack Johnson.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Okay.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go.
It's Jordan Jesse Go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Jordan, of course, every week on Jordan Jesse Goh, we are supported by all of our kind MaxFun members.
Thank you to every single person who's gone to MaximumFun.org slash donate to become a member.
Absolutely.
You're the best.
Except for you, Frank.
Yeah.
You know what you did.
You do.
Don't give me that look, Frank.
And also this week
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That's not the way to do it.
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Particularly because it was not customized.
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of vitamins. TakeCareOf.com and enter the promo code JJGO. Hey, Jordan, we also have something up
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It's Flip a Script. Let's tell
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a Script in iTunes and
wherever you get your podcasts
and subscribe
there. Our thanks to Flip a Script,
Max Fun, and Jordan Jesse Go
listeners who have their own podcast. If you want to get
up on the Jumbotron, whether you want to wish somebody happy birthday,
you want to tell somebody to take a long walk off a short pier.
Yeah.
I don't think we've done any threatening Jumbotrons, but maybe we should.
No, I'm not saying-
If you want to threaten someone-
I don't want any direct threats.
I want a general sense that-
Oh, you want to let somebody know that you're tired of their BS.
Go jump in a lake, not I'm going to
push you into a lake. Okay.
One is just a suggestion of
a kind of general miasma
of negative vibes.
That's what we want. Sure. We don't want
direct physical threats. Okay.
So long walk off a short pier. I can meet you halfway on that one.
Yes. You know? Right.
Keep one eye open when you sleep.
No. No. Go to MaximumFun.org slash You know? Right. Keep one eye open when you sleep. No.
No.
Go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron.
That is cheap and easy, and you can get your message out.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Comedian. Hello. More like Hari Kondabolu. Childhood destroyer. I like to destroy people's childhoods.
What is that?
What is that you like?
I want to destroy that.
Oh, you want to know about you love Saved by the Bell college years?
It sucks.
I saw it.
Whoa.
What's wrong with Sonic the Hedgehog?
Do me.
Do me.
Do me.
Roast my childhood.
Tails was underage.
Whoa.
Oh, no.
It's true. That relationship was inappropriate.
was underage.
Whoa!
Oh, no!
It's true.
That relationship was inappropriate.
Hari, by the way,
I feel like I did not
explain that at all
and I assumed
a lot of base level knowledge
of the current comedy scene.
Sure.
Hari made a television documentary
called The Trouble with Apu.
The Problem with Apu.
The Problem with Apu,
which was...
Thinking of the trouble
with tribbles.
Yes, thank you.
Your favorite Star Trek episode.
Which was and is about the challenges of being a kid who loved The Simpsons and whose entire life Speaking of the trouble with tribbles. And dealing with the fact that the only prominent Indian American in media at the time was Apu from The Simpsons.
Right.
A broad ethnic caricature portrayed by a white person.
See, that is like a synopsis from someone who's seen the film.
But if you haven't seen the film, the film is about how political correctness is important and we need to destroy the First Amendment.
Right.
Sure.
And also minorities are too sensitive.
Sure.
Minorities and women, too sensitive.
Yeah.
I mean, I presume that you cover reverse racism in the film.
No.
We would have gotten better ratings if we had covered that.
Okay.
The critics loved it and people who saw it loved it.
But if you didn't see it, you certainly hated the film.
It recently leapt in – it aired beta it aired what like a year ago maybe something like that november it was last november yeah and and it recently uh sort of resurfaced in the in the
twitter consciousness yes when um when two things happened i would say say. One was Hank Azaria, the actor who portrays Apu on the show, went on Colbert.
Was it Colbert?
And offered a pretty thoughtful and eloquent set of remarks about his own culpability in it and his own role in this thing.
It was like very moderate and sweet,
I thought, and pretty nice.
There was a really big thing that he did say that I think a lot of us appreciated, which
is that Indian Americans in this country have a very unique American experience, which goes
far and beyond what you would expect to hear.
Right.
That's like an incredibly thoughtful thing to say.
So that was like, that's really what you want.
Like, hey, we exist too.
We existed then.
That's really the whole point of the thing.
So, yeah.
And then one of the showrunners of The Simpsons said something that was basically the opposite of that.
Sure.
Just like stunningly tone deaf and rude.
And The Simpsons brought it up in an episode in a very poor – in a very poorly thought out and ineloquent and not funny way.
Which actually really bums me out because up to this point, there's the question of do they do something in this – to be mean-spirited, do they do something because they didn't know?
And you always have to – with The Simpsons, I always assumed it was done thoughtlessly but not with mean intentions.
They're incredible writers.
They always think about like who's really getting the hit and the point is always on the side of good, right?
This was the first time it didn't feel that way.
And as a Simpsons fan, I was more let down than I was as an Indian American at the episode that you referenced where Marge is upset about the old books that she liked and the fact that there's lots of like racism,
misogyny, all these things that are not acceptable.
And Lisa says, well, what can you do?
Things that were once lauded and critically acclaimed are now seen as politically incorrect.
And it's like, Lisa said that?
I know.
Lisa talks about political correctness, the ultimate like social justice warrior.
So they threw Lisa under the bus.
And what was cool from the Hank Azaria interview is that he didn't know that was going to be
said.
They put that in after the script was completed.
They put that scene in.
So, you know, in terms of white fragility, it's kind of shocking.
Like Al G and those guys are like, this guy's not going to get away with this.
Even though like 30 years, greatest TV show of all time.
Taking pot shots at me, the underdog?
That's $100 million?
Harvard millionaires?
Who would have guessed?
You mean a movie on cable television?
Really?
Yeah.
You know?
Sure.
And there's also some shit on Impractical Jokers I didn't like.
Right, right, right.
I mean, look, I didn't do this movie to troll people, but if I did, I just won.
I won big time.
Yeah, sure.
You're not supposed to reply.
Thanks, thanks.
And looking at your Twitter mentions the last few months from time to time, I can see that you won.
It must be a very heartwarming time for you.
Did you know that I should die?
Hey, I mean, if you thought that was bad, you're going to get some shit about those Sonic the Hedgehog remarks you were making earlier.
This is like what impresses me about the whole situation.
Well, we're going to do momentous occasions in a second.
I don't want to spend the whole time on this.
But, like, what impresses me is sort of like the first time when Gamergate was happening, the first time I watched the Anita Sarkeesian videos, the woman who was one of the big targets of Gamergate.
Oh, like she is in a very modest and pleasant way.
Just pointing out some really basic like first class of women's studies 101.
Like totally non-controversial.
She's not being a dick about it.
Like she's not trolling anybody.
This is real moderate stuff.
Like real.
And people are like, oh, she's a monster.
And for someone who clearly likes video games from watching that.
And I felt the same way.
Who likes? I felt the same way about your documentary, Hari, and the reaction to it.
I was like, if you could see what kind of unfairness Hari is capable of and decided not to bring to this documentary, what kind of not about his own personal experience,
not really blaming anyone,
going out of his way to be nice to everybody.
Reinforcing over and over that I'm a Simpsons fan,
that I love the show, that everyone loves the show.
Because I assumed if I covered all those things in the movie,
then the trolls couldn't say anything because I assumed everyone was going to watch it
before they criticized it.
Nah.
Nah.
Nope.
Foolish.
Nope.
That's foolish.
Well, anyway, long story short, we've put out the address of MaxFunHQ on Twitter.
So we're looking forward to the death threats and the SWAT teams showing up and so on and so forth.
It's great to have you here, Ari.
That's some good allyship.
Thank you, Jesse. And if you have any Sonic the Hedgehog fan art
you want to send to Ari
based on the remarks he just made.
Hopefully they're detailed.
I think that's what we love in those is detail.
If something momentous...
Veins, specifically. Veins.
If something momentous happens to you,
like you get some particularly dank Sonic fan art
featuring some fat pulsing veins.
Sure.
Really veiny knuckles.
Are you drawing a veiny knuckles?
Oh, God, I love veiny knucks.
Also, the princess was in the castle every single time.
Whoa.
She was fucking with us.
Oh, man.
That's a Mario 1 reference.
He's fucking with us.
Oh, man.
That's a Mario 1 reference.
Then give us a call at 206-984-4FUN for our segment, Momentous Occasions.
You can also record a voice memo on your phone and email it to jjgoe at maximumfun.org.
Here is our first call.
Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guests.
This is Scott from Madison calling in with a Momentous Occasion.
I recently bought two guinea pigs,
and I was struggling on deciding a name for them,
but I am currently out on my back patio enjoying some of the weather here,
and I have decided to name them after my two favorite podcasters,
Jordan and Jesse.
So, yep.
Oh, shit! Wow. Oh, fuck! Jordan and Jesse so yep what?
oh shit wow
oh fuck
what?
oh my god
I
okay
do you think Joe Rogan
heard about this?
yeah
I thought he was
he was gonna do this
big lead up
like I have two guinea pigs
I've got two
absolutely favorite
podcast hosts
so naturally
I just want everyone to say
hello to my two new friends georgia and karen i thought that's where that was going and i was
like i would be like bravo that's a that's a that's a long game i appreciate nice piece of
business and no who's got something bad to say about georgia and karen not me not me uh but i
guess from i get upset listening to people talk about murders, but it makes me uncomfortable.
But I would listen to them talk about anything.
They're delightful.
Brian, I guess, told us, our producer Brian, told us that we actually have a follow-up.
So we actually get to hear why there was a screaming interruption to that phone call.
Now, Jordan, before we play this follow-up,
and I don't mean to get too dramaturgical here,
but I think we need to take a moment to consider
our opinions of what we may have just heard,
because I think the follow-up will contain an explanation.
Yep.
We already know that my theory is that Joe Rogan was nearby.
Sure.
I think a hawk stole the guinea pigs.
I think Jordan and Jesse
the guinea pigs are fornicating.
Oh, wow.
Like, oh no, but they're...
Turns out it's Jesse with an IE.
And Jordan with a Y.
So it's hot lady
guinea pig on lady guinea pig action?
One can only hope.
Do you think lady guinea pigs have the physical – I guess I don't even know how a boy and a girl guinea pig engage in coitus.
Yeah.
It seems like they wouldn't be able to reach is my point.
I think anything's possible.
Okay.
Thanks.
Yeah.
You should speak at schools.
Yeah, well, I'm trying.
They won't let me in.
I guess I should plan it ahead of time.
Call somebody in the administration.
Anyway.
Okay.
Well, I think we've all made mistakes.
Sure.
And we pay for them in different ways.
You by doing these activities on probation.
And Hari on Twitter.
And, of course, me having not eaten mangoes for quite a period of time. Oh, do you have to keep saying that?
Gotta eat some mangoes.
Okay, let's hear the second part of this call.
Hi, this is Scott calling back just now.
Going back, uh, just now, a hook just swooped down and carried Jordan into the air and threw it against a tree.
Jordan's dead.
Oh, fuck. Just even dead, Jordan. I just named him. Jordan's dead oh my god oh fuck Jesse's dead
Jordan
I just named him
ah
rest in peace my dude
thanks
bye
okay
to be clear
I did not know
that was coming
I wanna emphasize
and I am God
hey God do you think it's real is it real I saw when Jordan was saying I did not know that was coming. I want to emphasize. And I am God.
Hey, God.
Do you think it's real?
Is it real?
I saw when Jordan was saying his fan theory about what happened in the Jordan and Jesse verse.
Fan theory.
Like how all the Pixar movies are connected.
I saw Brian.
And I'll say this for Brian. People mostly know, while Brian has appeared on microphone occasionally on Jordan, Jesse, Go,
people mostly know him for laughing loudly enough that it pierces the soundproof veil of this recording studio from his engineering station.
But the truth is that Brian is an open book.
Brian's face betrays his feelings at all times.
Brian's face betrays his feelings at all times.
And so while Brian is behind you, Jordan, if I'm looking at you, I can see Brian through our studio window. And I saw a world of emotions play across his face when you said that a hawk pick up the guinea pigs.
Just a kaleidoscope of feeling lit up his face like a Christmas tree.
It was truly astonishing.
But I think Hari's got a good point here.
What if this call was a penguin in the pants?
Sure.
A false flag.
Yeah.
A crisis actor.
Sure, yeah.
A lizard person.
If it is, it was very well done.
You can say the production values are good.
Yeah, sure.
There was some sound design there.
The crying was okay.
You have some notes.
I have some notes.
The crying is not the worst crying.
The worst crying I've ever seen was Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting.
That's bad crying.
Remember?
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
And I'm like, is he laughing or crying right now?
Yeah, could be either.
Yeah.
I don't think Matt Damon has ever actually cried.
I think he doesn't know
what it's like to feel sad
so he's just
going off other movies
he's seen.
Yeah,
it's like,
oh,
it's kind of like laughing
but there's water in my eye.
Right,
right.
Do you think he's ever
just felt frustrated
while he's pumping iron?
Maybe,
yeah,
maybe that's,
maybe he can go there.
He's trying to juice his guns.
This place that he goes to.
I personally,
I'm like a Stanislavskian.
Sure.
So I really think that you should think about your as if. So for Matt Damon, Matt's a big fan of VARs.
Yours mostly.
Sure.
He tolerates me.
Yeah.
But Matt, if you're listening, if you have to cry in a movie in the future, like maybe Good Will Hunting 2, which I think is,
I think that,
did DreamWorks buy that?
I think DreamWorks bought that.
You just think it's as if
I'm trying to juice my guns,
but I'm getting frustrated.
They're not juicing fast enough.
Right.
I see.
We should take a minute to say
that if this was real,
R.I.P. We are R.I.P. Jordan the guinea pig. Yeah. We're, we should take a minute to say that if this was real, RIP to Jordan.
We are RIP Jordan the guinea pig.
Yeah.
It's tough to lose a pet, even if it's a new pet.
And I'm sorry we're goofing, but it was amazing that I called it.
Yeah.
But we are truly sorry for your loss.
Losing a pet is the worst.
Yeah.
I don't want to encourage anyone to call in with a penguin in the pants.
However, I will say if this was a false flag operation, I would suggest you apply for a job at American Public Media's podcast, The Truth.
It's like a verite fiction podcast.
I think you would do well there.
That sounds nice.
Probably not as a cry actor.
Are adults buying guinea pigs?
Hard to say.
I mean, I guess maybe if you have an apartment that doesn't allow non-cage pets, maybe you're
doing it.
I don't know.
It's a question.
It's a question.
I mean, we heard from a few chinch owners a few weeks ago.
So I think anybody who'd buy a chinch might buy a guinea.
Sure.
Maybe we don't abbreviate it.
Although chinch does sound like a slur, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Anyway.
I forgot that that's a slur.
Something like a grandpa says if you kind of look at him.
How about a GP?
A GP.
I like that.
A GP.
If we need to shorten that.
GP.
Yeah. Anyway. By the way, that reminds GP? I like that. A GP. If we need to shorten that, GPG.
Yeah.
Anyway.
By the way, that reminds me.
I got to email my GP.
I need a colonoscopy.
Get that GP up in there.
Yeah.
If something momentous happens to you, 206-984-4FUN is the telephone number to call, or you can just hit that voice memo button on your phone and email it to jjgoe at maximumfun.org.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hi, I'm Allie Gertz.
And I'm Julia Prescott.
And we're the hosts of Everything's Coming Up Simpsons.
Every episode we cover a different episode of The Simpsons that is a favorite of our special guests.
We've had guests that are showrunners and writers and voice actors like Nancy Cartwright.
I got a D-minus, I passed!
And we've also had people that are on the MaxFun Network already.
Homer wearing that golf outfit is so funny.
I love it.
And when he gets super into golf, he's wearing the golf hat in bed.
In bed!
We've had Weird Al Yankovic on the show.
I was just struck by how sharp the writing is.
I mean, that's no surprise because it's The Simpsons.
But, I mean, you can't say that about a lot of TV shows, particularly ones that at that point had been on the air for 14 years.
Find us on MaximumFun.org, iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts.
All right.
Smell you later.
Hi there.
I'm film critic April Wolf and host of the Maximum Fun podcast, Switchblade Sisters.
Do you love genre films?
Do you love female filmmakers?
Do you love discussions on craft?
If your answer is yes, you'll love Switchblade Sisters.
Every episode, I invite one female filmmaker on, and we talk in-depth about their fave genre film and how it influenced their own work.
So we're talking horror, action, sci-fi, fantasy, bizarro, and exploitation cinema.
Mothers, lock up your sons, because the Switchblade sisters are coming for you.
Available at MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, You can come up. You can do a nickname. You can just say a nickname now. You don't think I'm at a point where my name is enough?
Well, I mean.
No.
You're a beloved guest, regular repeat guest on the show.
Yeah.
At this point, you don't think people are like, oh, my God, is that Harry Kondabolu?
No one's adding a little moniker.
Like, oh, my God, it's Harry Kondabolu.
It's called branding, Harry.
Okay.
That's how people remember you.
This is why you're not Ali Wong.
Why did you have to bring her in?
Ali Wong's a star because she's got branding.
What's her branding?
Oh, the having a baby.
Pregnant comedian.
Pregnant comedian.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay.
Hey, and this is –
Can I clarify here for a minute?
Yeah, yeah.
Also being brilliantly hilarious.
Very, very funny.
Oh, yeah.
So those two things working in concert.
Pass Jordan Jesse, go guest guest Ali Wong a friend of ours
this is
Harry Kondabolu
half of
the Kondabolu Brothers podcast
no that's just a plug
for your podcast
with your brother
but that's kind of
my identity too
that's just you
and your brother's podcast
that's just the name
of you and your brother's podcast
that is true
okay
alright
hey this is Harry Kondabolu I'm friends with W. Kamau Bell yeah that's pretty good that's good of you and your brother's podcast. That is true. Okay. All right.
Hey, this is Harry Kondabolu.
I'm friends with W. Kamau Bell.
Yeah, that's pretty good. That's good.
But then again,
who isn't friends with W. Kamau Bell?
Like the most genial man in the world.
Yeah.
I wouldn't say we're friends.
I'd say we're pleasant.
Like friendly acquaintances?
Maybe he doesn't.
I bet maybe he knows he recognizes me,
but maybe can't quite think of my name.
No.
We've known Kamau Bell for a long time.
I think he could pull your name.
Okay.
We'll see.
I don't know if that constitutes friendship.
I mean, sure.
How about this one?
I got one.
And this is Harukunabolu, famed adopted son of the Northwest.
Oh, there we go.
The Northwest zone.
Yeah, you're a regular Sean Kemp.
Oh. Sean Kemp had a bar and it just closed down Northwest Zone. Yeah, you're a regular Sean Kemp. Oh.
Sean Kemp had a bar and it just closed down.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
It wasn't called Kemp's.
What was the problem with it?
Too tall?
I don't know.
The bar put on a lot of weight.
Got it.
Couldn't dunk anymore.
Yeah, I was never a strong passer.
Yeah.
That's the problem with the bar.
Still a little basketball humor over here, Jordan.
Oh, I gathered.
You want to get back to Weezer?
No.
Actually, actually, no.
Kind of mad we talked about it for that long, honestly.
Hari, your new special is, what are we looking at?
Imminent on Netflix?
It is on Netflix.
On Netflix.
As we speak.
It's on Netflix as we speak.
I mean, I'm trying to look.
We discussed this during the break.
I don't know if I can get the full Ali Wong, which means stardom out of it.
Right.
Half Ali Wong.
I'm looking for a half Ali Wong.
You're looking to be a semi-star.
A semi-star.
I'm already NPR regular, maybe an NPR host and frequent television contributor on various news networks.
That's a really reasonable goal.
You don't need to be – you're willing to settle for being Kevin McReynolds, in other words.
The baseball player?
Yeah.
Explain that to me.
A semi-star.
Oh, I guess he is a semi-star.
He was better than average.
He made all-star games.
Yeah.
I want a little more than K-Mac.
Really?
You want more than that?
A little bit more than K-Mac. What are You want more than that? A little bit more.
What are you looking for?
Bobby Bonilla?
Fred McGriff, borderline Hall of Famer.
Oh, Fred McGriff.
Arguably a Hall of Famer.
He's looking to be the crime dog.
Got it.
He should be in the Hall of Fame.
He played clean in an era that was dirty.
That's me.
You're not going full Eddie Murray?
Oh, I mean Eddie Murray's-
The football kicker?
Oh.
I wasn't thinking football.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, I think you're going to get it.
You're going to get that bump.
You're going to get that bump from this appearance.
You were great.
You're always great.
Hilarious guy.
It's coming.
Wait, is this the one that's also on public radio?
No.
That's the other one?
This is just a podcast.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Cool.
Plus, my other show is barely on public radio.
It's just barely holding on.
This does air on the Home Shopping Network around 3 a.m.
They put on the audio and just show a ring rotating.
And we've been trying to get a meeting at Gas Station TV.
It has not worked out so far, but I do think that at some point we will make it.
There's a change of management over there, so I think we're probably coming in. We'll probably get a meeting.
We're talking to our team,
which, by the
way, is Brian. Sure.
And sometimes Danny, when Danny's helping out.
We're talking to Brian and Danny, and they're
talking to some people who
have watched a lot of Gas Station TV
just at the pump and everything, and they've
got some insights as to how we might be able to get
a meeting. So I'm pretty ambitious about it.
I feel pretty good about the whole thing.
I don't know Gas Station TV.
That's a peephole that's set up in a urinal?
Yes.
Yes.
Gotcha.
Okay.
I'm familiar.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Brian hangs out there all the time.
And we're like, what do you still do?
He's like, research, baby.
Yeah.
This is professional interest.
There's one thing I forgot to mention.
Please.
Yeah, this is professional interest.
There's one thing I forgot to mention.
Please.
In the special, there is a whole section of the special that discusses my appearance in the 2009 Sandra Bullock classic film All About Steve.
Oh.
So you got a stand-up chunk out of that shit.
I got a chunk out of it.
I just get four bucks every four months.
I get that, too.
Yeah.
And the California still takes tax out of it, which really bothers me.
But what I do like about it, too, is despite the fact that it's a really funny bit, the thing that people keep tweeting me is that I said 2007 in the special.
It was 2009.
That's the big takeaway.
You were wrong.
At Gas Station TV is a great place to send your corrections about what you're all about.
Steve came out. It was on the shelf for a to send your corrections about what you're all about. Steve came out.
It was on the shelf for a while.
I can see why you're –
It was filmed in 2007 and it was so bad they didn't want to release it.
And then The Hangover came out, which Bradley Cooper was in.
And The Proposal came out.
That was the surprise hit.
Made Sandy a star again.
So she had The Blind Side coming up after.
So like let's slip in this all about –
Sneak out this weirdly toned comedy.
Let's get it out in time so it's playing in airplanes by the time The Blind Side comes out.
Yeah.
And yeah, that's my film.
That's the only film I've ever been in.
Well, congratulations.
Thanks.
I get coffee for free every year because of that.
Once or twice.
It's nice.
Over at Sean Kemp's coffee place.
God, Sean Kemp.
Man, when he put on the weight, he couldn't dunk anymore, which is bad because his main thing was dunking.
And he's, what, 6'8 or 10.
Yes.
So at that point, you really don't even have to jump.
No.
Like you just have to be able to reach.
Yes, that is correct.
And he lost his ability to reach.
It was a sad situation for Sean Kemp Jordan.
Very sad.
I bet.
Sounds bad. Very sad. I bet. Sounds bad.
Very sad.
Seattle Supersonics.
You know how it is with the Seattle Supersonics.
The Rain Man.
Plus, they got beat by the Lakers.
Yeah.
You know, nice cubes of pimp in the whole nine yards.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Jordan, I want to plug something here.
Sure.
You and I have been working on a secret project.
Yes.
We're not going to announce what the secret project is.
We're sure not.
It's coming in mid-July.
This is-
Mid-June?
Thank you.
Yeah.
Mid-June.
That's the right word for month.
Yeah.
It's coming in mid-June.
That is the right word for month.
This is the most, I would say, the most exciting thing that we've ever worked on together.
Sure. Sure.
Easy.
I mean, this episode, of course, Hari.
Well, yeah, Hari's visiting from out of town.
This is the most exciting I've ever had around a piece of creativity, but this secret project is close.
Not counting out-of-town visitors.
I want to mention two things.
Yes.
If you are in the audience for Jordan, Jesse, Go, we expect you to be on board for this project.
Please do.
If you're not on board for this project, we're kicking you to the curb overall.
100%.
Get out of here.
We've worked too hard on this thing.
Take that enamel pin off your denim jacket.
You're not a true fan.
Yeah.
Even your denim vest.
We're taking it that far.
Sure.
Vests and jackets.
Vests and jackets.
denim vest.
We're taking it that far.
Sure.
Vests and jackets.
Vests and jackets.
No matter what denim garment
you're wearing
that isn't pants,
take it off.
Denim Converse, maybe.
Is that something?
Must be.
Seems like it would be.
Denim Applejack cap
like Fat Albert.
The short-lived
denim condom.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Well,
short-lived
in retail stores, long-lived overall.
Oh, sure.
I mean, it's extremely durable.
That's probably its best quality.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It had many weaknesses.
Durability was not one of them.
Pregnancy and STD prevention, not?
Nope.
Also, yeah, poor for that.
Yeah, poor, difficult to lubricate.
High reusability, though.
Yeah, difficult to lubricate.
And you can just throw a blazer over it if you want to, if you're going somewhere nice afterwards.
I mean, the logic was like, okay, you're a teenager.
You're touching yourself.
You're wearing jeans.
Well, this seems like it would be perfect for a condom.
Oh, yeah, sure.
New sexual pleasure.
But in fact, all sorts of other problems.
And I mean, I think I personally have always been into the raw denim thing.
And I mean, I think I personally have always been into the raw denim thing, and I love the way that my denim condom kind of is like a record of the history of my wear of it.
The different things I put my donger into.
Yeah, it's like a walk except for your penis.
The key, though, is you can't wash it.
You don't wash it, Hardy.
If it gets smelly, you just put it in the freezer overnight.
That's correct.
Okay.
The other thing that I want to mention.
First of all, our special project comes out June 13th.
Yeah.
Don't fuck this up and miss this.
Okay?
The 13th will be a very unlucky day for you if you miss our special project. Sure, even though it's not a Friday.
This is-
But Jason will still kill you.
Absolutely.
That's the brand promise of our secret project.
Yeah.
Jason will kill you.
If you don't like it.
If you don't like it.
I also want to mention that if you're here in Southern California on the 12th at Dynasty Typewriter,
there's a theater here in the Westlake District that is right near our office.
A beautiful new theater that's run by our friend
Jamie Flam,
past Jordan Jesse Go guest,
I believe.
We will be hosting
the world premiere
of our special project.
It is going to be
wall-to-wall stars.
So make sure that you write that
on your calendar
and get yourself some tickets
because it is going to be
an extravaganza and a half.
150% of an extravaganza, Jordan.
Good.
So mark your calendars, folks.
Hari Kondabolu Netflix special right now.
Born Your Relatives available.
Kondabolu Brothers podcast.
Don't listen to that.
It's not worth it.
Very good.
It's not worth it.
It's just some bullshit that Hari likes to plug with a fake nickname.
And occasionally I'm on. With his surly brother. He's not sur it. It's just some bullshit that Hari likes to plug with a fake nickname. And occasionally I'm on.
With his surly brother.
He's not surly.
I'm the surly one.
No, he's pretty surly.
Well, you're pretty surly too, Hari.
I'm not going to.
You're moderately surly.
He's surlier than you, though.
I'm also occasionally on the bugle with Andy Saltzman.
Hey.
You would get along with Andy Saltzman.
Braggy.
I know Andy.
I've had dinner with Andy Saltzman in England.
I can imagine that friendship.
That seems like a good friendship.
We had a pretty good friendship.
He doesn't like to talk necessarily.
Well, that's not his thing.
He just has a podcast.
You've got to work him.
Yeah.
He's got to have some material prepared if you want him to converse with you.
When the camera's rolling, when they're recording, he's on.
Yeah.
Sure, he saves it.
Saves that juice.
Every single bit of that juice.
You want some cricket jokes, that's your man.
Oh, yeah.
I do like some cricket jokes.
There are jokes I can make on the Bugle that I can't make anywhere else in the world.
Yeah, June 12th and 13th.
Hari's on Netflix.
You can also check out his podcast, The Kondabolu Brothers Project, with his surly brother.
Our producer, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez.
You can find us on Twitter with the hashtag JJGo.
Tweet what you think about this week's show.
If you've got corrections for the show, tweet them at GasStationTV.
They'll be grateful to hear them.
You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com and on Facebook where you can like Jordan Jesse Go,
where we love to share dank memes and sweet new projects from Jordan Jesse Go pals.
And we will talk to you next time on Jordan,
Jesse go.
Maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported.