Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 541: Odin's Petulant Sons with MC Paul Barman
Episode Date: July 24, 2018MC Paul Barman joins Jordan and Jesse to talk about the gargantuan rainstick Jesse nearly purchased at the Eagle Rock Goodwill, the highs and the lows of the La Brea Tar Pits, and Paul's new album (((...echo chamber))). Plus, the guys get a momentous occasion call so exciting they consider ending the segment. Check out Paul's album here! And don't forget, BUBBLE is still going strong - listen to episode SIX now! Subscribe to BUBBLE on iTunes! Or use this feed for your other podcatcher needs: https://maximumfun.org/feeds/bubble.xml
Transcript
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Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free.
Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you.
It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morris, boy detective.
Oh man, Jordan.
Mm-hmm.
Oh man.
Mm-hmm.
Oh man.
Mm-hmm.
Man alive.
Mm-hmm.
I really narrowly averted disaster this week, Jordan.
My gosh, what happened?
Well, I...
Or what almost happened, I guess I should say.
I say I averted disaster.
Mm-hmm.
I could be looking at this through the wrong lens.
I could have walked right into a disaster.
Sure.
Maybe that's what I did.
Or you could have had the privilege of dying.
Yeah.
And meeting the Lord.
Thank you.
So...
And my close personal friend, St. Peter.
Mm-hmm.
Up at them gates, the pearly ones is what I'm talking about.
Oh, yeah.
So, Jordan.
Are there any other gates?
Yes, there are many other gates.
Yeah, sure.
But none more famous.
I was at, and I, Jordan, you know that on this show, the last thing I want to do is
brag.
Yeah, sure.
Okay, because.
Yes.
Far be it for you.
From you.
Far be it from you.
Yeah.
What's that expression I'm trying to say?
Far bit from me.
Yes.
Farfing Nugent.
Farfing Nugent from you.
Yes.
To brag.
I am a people's champion.
If I am anything, I am a man of the people.
Everyone, I'm relatable.
An everyman.
I'm relatable.
I'm a regular Joe. I am Joe man of the people. Everyone, I'm relatable. An everyman. I'm relatable.
I'm a regular Joe.
I am Joe the plumber.
Right.
If Joe the plumber was more chill.
Right.
Sure.
Down to earth.
DTE.
So I hesitate.
DTE and DTF. So for that reason, I'm hesitant to brag.
Right.
Because it might taint your reputation as-
As a man of the people, a people's champion, so on and so forth.
Right.
First responder.
First responder.
All these things.
But the other day, after I dropped my daughter off at arts camp, I stopped by a little shop called Eagle Rock Goodwill.
Okay.
Yeah, it's the Goodwill in Eagle Rock, California.
An upper middle class neighborhood here in Los Angeles.
That's a descriptive name.
Yeah.
It's a good thing it's in Eagle Rock.
I like, this is not a good, this is not a particularly good Goodwill.
That's an okay Goodwill.
Right.
But it's right by my daughter's summer camp, so...
It's convenient.
By the time I've driven her all the way to the goddamn summer camp
and dropped her off and gone through all that rigmarole,
how about a little treat for Daddy?
Sure.
You know what I mean?
Let's stop by the goodwill, get anything you want.
Yeah.
And you're not going to believe what I'm saying.
Weird vase.
Yeah.
TV VCR.
You got it.
Take your pick.
Yeah.
Men in Black 2 on VHS. Yeah. TV VCR. You got it. Take your pick. Yeah. Men in Black 2 on VHS.
Yeah.
So there was there a rain stick of such extraordinary proportions.
Right.
I'm talking about a four and a half, five foot, nine inch across.
Yeah.
Across the cross section.
Sure.
What's that one?
It's not circumference.
Radius is halfway across the cross section.
Are you looking for diameter, sir?
He's looking for diameter.
Yes.
I think he is.
Diameter.
We have not introduced our guest, but he's helping us out with math terms.
Thank God.
This was a monster rain stick.
And I looked at this rain stick.
You know what it cost?
$4.98.
So?
So?
So here's the question.
What would you do?
Mm-hmm.
You're staring at one of the biggest rain sticks you've ever seen, an almost pornographic rain stick.
Could you, was it easy to flip?
It was ripe.
It seemed like it would be unwieldy.
It was ripe for the flipping.
It was ready to flip.
It was ready to flip.
RTF?
Somebody contact flippable.org and make a few donations because this thing was ready to flip.
Sure.
It was a house in an up-and-coming neighborhood.
Okay.
Thanks, Brian.
Let's introduce our guest on the program.
And then get down to this.
Because he's a professional musician.
Get down to this thick stick.
Yeah.
He is a rapper.
He is, among other things,
he was once
named by Los Angeles
Weekly Magazine one of the
whitest musicians of all time.
He has a
brand new album called Echo Chamber
which features extensive
appearances from our Jordan Jesse
girlfriend and our Max Von colleague
Open Mike Eagle. His name
is MC Paul Barman.
Hi, Paul.
How you doing?
So good to be here.
No, see, now this is-
Oh, wow.
Hold on.
This is not the Paul I pleasantly chatted with out in the lobby.
This is a whole other guy.
Earlier on, we were just talking with a nice man named Paul.
Right.
But now, Dr. Vinny Bombats over here.
Paul, okay.
Is LA Weekly the one we're supposed to hate?
Now we hate it.
Yeah, it's bad.
It was not bad before.
Back when they called you one of the whitest musicians of all time.
I guess I'm an early hater.
Yeah.
How did you react to that?
I forgot all about it until I was-
Sorry, sorry.
Paul. Yes, sorry. Paul.
Yes, sir.
In your capacity as a professional musician,
a guy with a brand new long-playing album out right now...
Yes.
You're at...
You're in Eagle Rock, California.
Now, again, this is an upper-middle-class neighborhood.
This isn't about bragging,
but it's not an extra...
It's not a fancy...
Look, there's a target there.
Okay, this is a regular...
How's the target?
It's a pretty good target.
Okay.
You got no complaints.
It's got some produce.
Do I have a butter vocal booth
with plenty of room for giant rain sticks
that I can access at any time
and could even leave in the corner
and no one would hardly even notice.
Good question.
Is that part of my scenario?
You know who lives in Eagle Rock?
Madlib.
Madlib's probably got a butter vocal studio
with plenty of room for flipping rain sticks.
I thought he was in Europe.
Let's text that guy.
I don't have his number.
Bottom line, yes.
And leave it right here.
Oh, wait, Here it is.
Whoa.
Oh, no.
The police are here.
Come out with your hands up.
Oh, here comes the cow.
Hi, boys.
The cow can talk.
Oh, no.
Oh, that was a beautiful lady.
Okay.
Anyway. That is a nice rain stick. Oh, no. Oh, that was a beautiful lady. Okay. Anyway.
That is a nice rain stick.
That was nice.
Although I wish people could see it because it kind of sounds like the other ones.
So what I did in this, what I personally did, Jordan, you didn't weigh in.
What would you do in that situation?
Boy, I don't think I have rain stick room in my house.
And remember, important context here, it's 9.10
in the morning. Oh, okay.
Sure. So,
I'm all juiced from morning edition.
Exactly.
Siegel got you pumped. Siegel got
me pumped. You know that famous hashtag,
Siegel got me like. Right, yeah.
And then it gets a
meme of a man buying a rain stick. Yeah.
Or he's looking away, he's looking away from his girlfriend whose head is a hand drum, and he's looking at another woman who's a rain stick in a dress.
But you can hear Robert Siegel's dulcet tones.
One of my favorite memes.
Okay.
Yeah, I probably would like to fuck around with the rain stick in the store.
Yeah.
See how she flips.
Yeah. But I probably would not buy it. I just rain stick in the store. Yeah. See how she flips. Yeah.
But I probably would not buy it.
I just don't have a ton of room.
I have a smaller apartment.
Yeah.
So I don't have a lot of room for, you know, fickle sticks.
It's a great price, though.
Something like four bucks?
$4.98, which is technically about $5.
Yeah.
Just under.
Mm-hmm.
Because I would expect to pay for a large-scale rain stick like that, like a really full, again, almost pornographic rain stick.
Right.
I would expect to pay, what, $14?
Mm-hmm.
And that would be in a market abroad or in a thrift store at home.
Mm-hmm.
If I'm going to a store that also sells loose-fitting linen clothing, then I'm expecting to pay $60, $80 for the red stick.
There's a markup there.
Yeah.
Anyway.
I'm saying no stick for me.
There's a markup because you have to use more fabric to make the linen clothing.
Right.
Right, right.
So, Bill O'Neill.
You lost me a little.
Am I allowed to talk?
Yeah.
Now that I've been introduced.
We've introduced you, yes.
$60, $80.
We're talking about a tree that you haven't messed with yet to make into something else.
You're going to buy a tree.
So, this is what Paul Barman is telling you.
Once you raise the price to $60.
And this is on you.
No amount of rain sticks is worth $60.
$60 is like.
You're just finishing your album Echo Chamber.
Okay.
There's just a couple of finishing touches you want to put on it.
You want people to listen to it and kind of feel like they have to pee.
Legendary percussionist Ayrton Morera is coming in.
Of course, you know him from Weather Report.
You know him from playing with Miles Davis.
You know him from his solo albums.
He's coming in, but he says, Paul Barman, I don't have my instruments.
In his beautiful Brazilian voice.
He's an older man, very dignified.
Right.
You say, don't worry.
I'm going to take $60, go to a nursery,
buy a tree, hollow it out,
add rain stick materiel inside.
I'm going to say that's BBs.
Yeah.
From a BB.
I was going to ask. Excuse me. I was surprised by that and spat on myself. No one going to say that's BBs. Yeah. From a BB? I was going to ask. Excuse me.
I was surprised by that and
spat on myself. No one had to know that.
No, but I like to be honest
with the audience. Listen,
podcasts, they're real.
I thought rain sticks were full of pine needles.
So there's two, so there's
really two things that it could be
full of. The first
thing, I would say, is BBs, like for a BB gun.
No.
The second thing.
That's a different sound.
The second thing is.
That's like, rain sticks are shh.
Yeah.
The BBs would be.
Okay.
Settle.
Uh-huh.
But the one you're describing is.
Okay, I got it.
So it's more of a...
So...
Not a...
Okay.
Okay.
The other possibility?
Rice-a-roni.
Sure.
Not cooked rice-a-roni.
Right.
But just you go to the grocery store, you get yourself some rice-a-ronis. You open them up and you pour them on in there.
You keep the seasoning packet. The flavor pouch, yeah.
Because you might want to put that on something later, like put that on vegetables if you're sauteing vegetables.
Sure, yeah.
Because it'll bring some brightness.
Throw that on a chicken breast.
It'd probably be pretty good.
That would be nice.
Yeah.
Throw that in the sous vide.
Sure.
Okay.
So you're telling me, Paul, you're going to buy a tree, hollow it out, put the riceroni in there, cover the ends, and that's how you're spending your $60?
Mr. Thorne, what I'm telling you is I love a tree so much.
I plant it.
I protect it.
I water it.
I make it grow.
I put the fantastic musician
I can't tell if you made up or not
under the tree
And I do like the weather report
so I should know
And I bring a reasonably good recording device
to the shady gorgeous spot
where this fabulous virtuoso is sitting
and record him doing his thing after he goes and gets his instrument.
So you're just providing an atmosphere.
Well, the tree provides much more.
What is a rain stick if not atmospheric?
No, I mean, you've got a great point.
You've got a great point.
In the end, I went up to that rain stick.
Yeah.
I took a look around.
Are there any teens around that are going to judge me or beat me up?
Yeah.
There weren't any.
It was teen free.
How old is your daughter?
Six years old.
Okay.
She's not a teen.
She's not a teen yet.
I went ahead and flipped that thing.
And I left it right there.
I don't need it.
Yeah.
I don't need that in my life.
What a story. Yeah. You thought about buying a. I don't need it. Yeah. I don't need that in my life. Good call. What a story.
Yeah.
You thought about buying a rain stick and then didn't.
Yeah.
I mean, it pays off in the end, you got to admit.
That's true.
When I decide not to buy it.
There's a lot of, yeah, there's a lot of like universal themes in this story, I think.
Man versus stick.
Ayrton Moreira from Weather Report.
Sure.
I mean, that's in Gilgamesh. Right.
Yes. I mean, Joseph Campbell,
Hero's Journey. That's in the classic
stuff. Yeah.
You'll find Ayrton Moreira.
The Tale of Genji. The Monkey King.
The Monkey King and
his pig friend.
He stole
the magic beans from heaven.
He's got that cudgel.
Classic.
Classic storytelling.
A little Monkey King humor here.
The Mahabharata.
The Mahabharata.
Paul is so relaxed.
He's three feet from his microphone.
Yeah, you've got a new chill posture.
In a full Tommy Bahama pose.
You know, I was afraid that I would have to pick a bottle of wine, but that story was my first glass.
There you go. Okay, well. You was my first glass. There you go.
Okay, well.
You got a nice buzz.
Yeah.
Exactly.
We'll have some more, maybe a little bubbly, when we come back in just a second on Jordan
and Jesse Go.
It's Jordan and Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,-fecta. Wow. Boom, boom, boom. So what makes you, let's explore this rad dad thing a second.
What makes you a rad dad?
BMX bike?
Tude?
Rude?
Gosh, that's a good question. Because lately I'm thinking the rad dad is actually the novice teacher who foolishly doesn't start out the year stern.
And tries to get stern like halfway
through the year. But he can't do it.
He set a bad precedent.
And then all of a sudden...
He's too chill off the top. Instead of teaching American
history, he's just playing stern.
Right. Yeah.
Come on.
Come on. It's me.
You don't normally live in L.A.
You're visiting.
You're on a long visit.
You've brought the family.
You're showing them a good time.
That's pretty rad.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I mean, this is the land of dreams, Paul.
Dude, you know, this is going to sound weird,
but I was almost relieved during your terrible grocery store hostage situation because L.A. was looking perfect in my couple of days here.
Right.
And I was like, oh, there's horrific violence just like back home.
I guess it's not perfect.
And then after that, you went to the La Brea Tar Pits and you found out a little bit about horrific violence through the ages.
Yeah.
Have you guys not been there?
I've been to La Brea Tar Pits.
I've wanted to go there my whole life.
Again, we don't like to brag on this show.
We should explain that for Paul, it's a fetish thing.
Oh, okay.
Sure.
Just seeing a giant sloth restrained in some way.
Just seeing a giant sloth restrained in some way.
So I grew up like an hour south of L.A.
And the La Brea Tar Pits was like my field trip.
Like we would go on a field trip.
And I was definitely a huge dinosaur kid.
I was a big-time dinosaur kid.
And that extended into prehistoric mammals.
I was not as interested in them as I was in dinosaurs, but still very interested.
So in glyptodons.
What's a glyptodon?
Oh, it's like a turtle mammal.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, Jesse's doing a little dance that is not helpful, but a lot of fun.
Wait, did you say turtle mammal?
It's like a turtle mammal, yeah.
What's mammalian about it?
I think it has, under the shell it has fur.
It has a fur head and a turtle shell and a whacking tail.
A glyptodon.
What about a... Oh, it's got a whacking tail.
What about a giant sloth?
Oh, yeah.
Love those sloths.
Mammoths.
Okay.
Can I...
Wally and otherwise.
Wait, how did the sloth last long enough to get big?
It's claws.
It walks with palms up.
It seems to be trying to poke itself.
And it just looks like it could be picked off at any moment regardless of how many of them there are to act as a group.
Well, they're gentle giants.
Yeah.
That's important to know.
Right.
So, yeah, I mean, I think that, you know.
Sort of like George Mirison.
I think it's any time there's a predator that can smell well within a mile of it,
that group of sloths is wiped out.
Well, that's an interesting question, Paul.
You're asserting that, but I
don't think the archaeological record
reflects exactly,
or I guess the paleontological
record, reflects exactly
how the giant sloth smelled.
Maybe, for example, it
smelled like ferns,
and goodness knows there were plenty of
ferns around at the time. Sure. There were ferns. And goodness knows there were plenty of ferns around at the time.
There were ferns everywhere.
Mm-hmm.
So let's say you had a great-
Gullies of them.
Let's say you're a dire wolf.
Yeah.
Or a saber-toothed tiger.
Okay.
So when you acted like you hadn't been to the La Brea Tar Pits, you were just waiting to show me your La Brea profound deep knowledge.
No.
I said save it for the air.
I said save it for the air. I said save it for the air because there's nothing we want to talk about more.
It sounds to me like you actually have thought this out.
I should explain that Paul and I bet $200 each on who knew more about the La Brea Tar Fence.
It's a very bad color of money reboot.
Yeah.
Does your daughter like it?
I'm Jackie Gleason.
So, yes, growing up, I went to the Libra Tar Pits many times.
I live close, and it's still, you know, if I'm having a rough day, I like to stroll around the Libra Tar Pits.
It is way better than your average dinosaur thing.
I love it.
I think it's great.
It is so cool.
Here's the, I feel like there's a fundamental betrayal at the heart of the La Brea Tar Pits.
Why is that?
And I think you'll find that as excited as you are about the La Brea Tar Pits and as nostalgic as Jordan is about the La Brea Tar Pits, I am not nuts about the La Brea Tar Pits.
I think that the La Brea Tar Pits present to us a promise of dinos than deliver sloths.
See, I've seen plenty of dinos.
Sure.
Yes.
Right. And I am – okay, the sloths are not the most interesting, but all the other things are.
Okay.
I do like the thing where you grab a pole sticking out of a bucket and you lift it up and down and they're like, this is what it would be like to jack off tar.
It's an empathy machine.
Right.
And it's got the – La Brea Tar Pits has that amazing display outside where they have a tar pit that was just that's been there and they have these, you know, ceramic mammoths and they're trapped and there's a baby reaching out with its trunk.
Mommy, you know, or daddy.
I think it's a daddy judging by the tusks.
But I don't want to say for sure.
So, yeah, it's got this amazing, like iconic display outside. And I think, and I'm going to, now listen, Jesse.
The first time I went to the Little Ray Tarpets, was I probably disappointed that there were no dinos?
Sure.
But I think now I see.
Nobody likes being lied to.
No, I don't think anyone's lying to anyone.
Dinos are available elsewhere.
Yes, many places.
The Natural History Museum.
What's not available is the intermediate period between dinosaurs and us and the fact that this cauldron of bubbling trap life is – it just kind of gives you perspective on the ancientness of the continent.
Right.
perspective on the ancientness of the continent right at the preposterousness of national borders or state borders and uh you know it appears that we had to work together to extinctify these
creatures thank you here's my here's my concern about what you are asserting here jordan you say
nobody's lying to anyone i can see why this show is two hours long. You guys don't cover a lot of ground.
Podcast-wise,
you're a bit sloth-like.
Not a wasted second.
Tight.
The tightest two hours in podcasting.
Jordan, you say
that nobody's lying to anyone.
Yeah.
Have you turned on C-SPAN lately?
Thank you.
That's true.
Thank you.
Fake news.
What?
What position
are we taking on this?
Hard to say these days.
So have you guys seen the big mural that shows the cosmos exploding?
I love that mural that shows the cosmos.
And then it goes snakes right to left and right to left.
And then it's like, and then man, back to space.
We did it.
Hooray.
Yeah.
Fuck you, cosmos.
I wish they had.
I don't know if they, I didn't have time to go to the store, but I would like a reproduction of that.
Is it called Man's Dominance of the Stars?
Yes.
Yeah.
Then in parentheses, giant sloth.
And I think that, I think you're right.
I mean, I think if you'd only have a, you know, a casual knowledge of, you know, prehistory, you know, as a kid.
As a kid, you know, you have.
Most of my knowledge is gone.
You have dino books and, you know, you have dino books
and, you know,
you're aware of Caveman,
but there's so much
that happened between that.
Yes.
And I think the La Brea Tar Pits
is a great educational tool
to show you a period that,
yes, I mean,
is less exciting
because of the lack of dinos,
but it's still very fascinating
and something people
don't hear about too often.
Okay.
I think just the fact
that it happened right there.
Yeah.
Yes.
And you can-
The dinosaurs at the Museum of Natural History weren't excavated on 8th and 1st Street.
Right there by the LACMA.
Yeah, right there by the LACMA.
Next to that Marie Callender's that's fancy for some reason.
Why is it fancy?
It's a Marie Callender's.
Just a few short blocks away from that fat burger that has booze.
A couple hundred feet from where I ran into and interacted with NPR CEO Jarl Moan.
There you go.
See?
A historic street.
Yeah, and I think that is a great point, Paul, is that all the stuff there, including some hominids, were found in that tar pit.
Because I feel like, you know, when you go to a natural history museum, they're collecting things from largely Utah and Montana and, you know, bringing them to that city's museum.
I guess it's different if you're in Utah or Montana or something.
But, yeah, all that stuff happened there.
I think it's really, really cool.
One more defense of the giant sloth.
Please.
Do you know what it evolved into uh a smaller sloth a smaller more well-armored sloth yeah an armadillo a diller
whoa so let that be a lesson to all of us we're talking dillers but we're not talking barry
who's that barry diller i know's someone. He's a media mogul, billionaire media mogul.
Okay.
Does he have an arbor plating?
Yeah.
Oh.
That's one of the things that made him so tough to beat for his rival, Ted Turner.
Don't fuck with that guy.
That's why Ted Turner got all those buffaloes.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, I see the appeal of that. I once met an armadillo who had a – he rolled into a ball where there was a pointy part on one side and an indented part on the other side, like a little tail and a little head diamond.
And then they fit perfectly together into a perfectly round ball so i appreciate
armadillos uh jesse and paul as men with kids i assumed when you went you took kids to the
i did i'd like to go alone to reflect yes um you just look up at that mirror and you think
fuck you, stars.
Fuck you, space.
I'm coming for you.
I'm going to punch you right in your black hole.
Wait, what was that armadillo description?
Isn't that every armadillo?
No.
All armadillos can roll into a ball, roughly speaking.
But there's only one species of armadillo that rolls into a perfect seamless ball.
I mean, it has seams in a literal sense.
Sure.
There are no chinks in its armor.
And that was the one you met?
And that was the one I met.
One species.
There's many of these individuals.
I met it at a child's birthday party.
That's cool.
Yeah.
I was going to ask you if your kids liked the La Brea Tar Pits.
They did. Not as much as you. It's possible I liked it more. cool. I was going to ask you if your kids liked the La Brea Tar Pits.
They did.
Not as much as you. It's possible I liked it more. I think
another thing that makes it so awesome
is the
constitution of the skeletons
themselves. Oversaturated
in
tar-ish pigment
and
oil.
The fact tar-ish pigment and oil and just, you know, the fact that they exist at all.
And I don't know.
The whole thing was amazing.
I think that they probably, I would have liked to see them posed as they found them.
Oh, right.
Like in a pile?
Like when you see the Pompeii guys, they're like, oh.
I'm trying to support the roof falling. There's the one guy who's still jacking off.
I wasn't going to mention him.
Exactly.
Sure.
Yes.
If you haven't ever seen a giant sloth crank it, the way they work those claws is incredible.
You got to work the claws.
The way they've tried to bring them back to a sort of upright and generally menacing pose. Yeah. The way they work those claws is incredible. You gotta work the claws. The way they tried to bring them back to
a sort of upright and generally
menacing pose
was, you could
tell it was forced. It's a little sweaty.
And it's not like... I think that's a fair note.
I don't think that's better. I think the fact that
it got its leg stuck
and then it panicked and then it fell
into some sort of weird position where it
gurgled and drowned.
Right.
Is, you know, that's good enough.
Have you thought about writing a letter?
More heaps.
Done.
Yeah.
This is.
All the animals should be in heaps.
Well, this is the letter.
Oh, wow.
To any of you listening who care.
Mm-hmm.
Never mind.
Take a letter.
Good job, though. To your Sir Take a letter. Good job, though.
To Sir Brian.
Good job, though.
Address it to the pits.
Mm-hmm.
Just throw it right in the tar.
Yeah.
Jesse, did your kids like the La Brea tar pits?
No, they didn't.
They didn't care at all.
They thought it was so weird that I brought them there.
But, you know, the LACMA is next door.
And the LACMA has those cars that go around on tracks.
Sure. the LACMA is next door and the LACMA has those cars that go around on tracks and anything that's keeping them away from this art piece.
That's a bunch of cars on tracks is like cruel and unusual punishment. Like they just want to go be mesmerized by that for literally hours.
Uh,
and then leave.
That's,
you know,
that's,
that's what the,
how do they like levitated mass,
that big art rock.
They're pretty ambivalent about levitated Mass, that big art rock?
They're pretty ambivalent about Levitated Mass, but I fucking love it.
Yeah.
It's like my favorite thing.
It totally blows my mind every time I look at it. It's this big rock you can walk under.
Did you see Levitated Mass?
No, not yet.
Haven't we talked about Levitated Mass on Jordan Jesse Go before?
We only have five or six topics that we return to.
One of them being Levitated Mass.
Should we change and talk about Spiral Jetty a little?
Like what other earthworks should we be covering?
I don't know.
Yeah, hit us up with your favorite earthworks on Twitter for us to discuss.
Send us some photos.
Andy Goldsworthy, you out there?
Want to drop us a line?
Sure.
Yeah. Yeah, I think that if I were judging the La Brea Tar Pits more neutrally, if I didn't feel like I had spent a lifetime having had them built up to me, I feel like I would more appreciate it.
It's like when you see Godfather late in life, you know?
Yeah.
I mean, it's good.
No one's ever talked to me about the La Brea Tar Pits ever.
Really?
And my family had never heard of it
when we went through.
Yeah.
Is that so?
So, yes.
How did you end up there?
Just accidentally?
Because I knew...
You were trying to find
the craft museum?
No, no.
Actually, that place looks cool.
I've been.
It's nice.
It's small.
There's not a lot to see,
so, you know,
don't plan an afternoon around it.
But it's a nice pop-in.
No, it was on our way to another thing.
And I was like, let's go there.
We've never been there.
I've never been there.
And it was all.
So, yeah.
So I've lived the non-hype fantasy I didn't mean to interrupt your description of.
No, not at all.
I mean, I feel like, for me, I'd rather go over to the Peterson Automotive Museum.
Okay.
Look at a thousand cars.
Sure, yeah.
I don't know why I like that, but I do.
They probably have a Batmobile.
They might have like a Batmobile in there, right?
So, Jesse, you're from around here?
I'm from San Francisco, but I grew up with the reputation of the La Brea Tar Pits ringing in my ears.
I mean, it's like the Monterey Bay Aquarium.
Who hasn't ever heard of that?
Sure, yeah.
Who hasn't seen heard of that? Sure, yeah. Who hasn't seen Star Trek 4?
Paul, what other L.A. family things do you have planned for while you're here?
I was hoping you guys could send me a zip of Los Angeles Plays itself.
We could all watch it.
Oh, yeah.
Hard to get.
Hard to get.
It's not streaming anywhere.
I can't find it.
Yeah, it's all repurposed footage.
I know that we have to see it, though.
Righteous issues.
Kids love it.
The fourth hour really gets them going.
What's that art movie where it's clips from other movies and there's always a clock in the background corresponding to what time of day?
Oh, I know the one you're talking about.
It's called something like 24 Hours or something, I think.
Yeah.
I know exactly the one you're talking about.
Anyway, I was going to make a joke about that, but I couldn't remember what it was called.
I think a lot about, we were talking during the break about our friend Brandon Bird.
Yes.
The fine artist who we happened to, Jordan, you happened to run into at San Diego Comic-Con.
I did.
And Brandon Bird did this exhibition many, many years ago when we were still in college in the gallery at our residential
college at UC Santa Cruz.
And this was before your, with no disrespect intended to Jensen Karp or any of the many
people who have made pop culture themed art exhibits a business these days, thriving business.
This was before any of that had happened.
Brandon did a Law & Order themed
art exhibit.
And in this exhibit, there was
this piece that this European video collective
had put together
that was just scenes
from Law & Order. This was also
before the idea of the supercut.
Scenes from Law & Order
with people taking off and putting on their glasses.
And it was like a 15-minute film of just three-second clips of people taking off and putting on their glasses.
Totally blew my fucking mind.
Beautiful.
Was there music?
Just the sounds of Law & Order.
It was just raw cuts.
That sounds good. law and order. It was just raw. It was really good because
law and order is like the most
expositionally intensive program in the
world and there's just this
one moment
where it's just pure banality.
Someone taking off or putting off
their glasses. Like somebody's like, I gotta take one
second from pushing the plot
forward for just one
moment to put these or take these off.
Or in my case, I can see the document better now.
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
God, I love looking at a document.
Paul, you've really hit.
I love a document.
Well, I mean, like that, you know.
Right.
So you got it.
So now you just for the for the at home listener, Jordan, you want to describe this?
You kind of like did like this.
Yeah.
Good description. Like, good description.
Did like that? Yeah, sure.
Kind of took his glasses off. It's a theater of
the mind, Jordan. Right.
Podcasting is a theater of the mind.
I'm taking this moment as the moment
to bring my
big discovery.
Discoveries have been made in the
La Brea Tar Pits.
You were talking about Pits. Oh.
You were talking about a mystery.
Yeah.
But I have found the key to understanding the current culture we live in.
The key to understanding the entire culture?
Are you sure you want to drop that here on this bad show?
No, I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
Okay.
In fact, I'm banking on it being important enough to talk about more than once.
Do you have the paperwork in your messenger bag?
Is that why you're reaching for it?
Oh, Neil Gaiman's Norse mythology.
Oh, wow.
You're unlocking everything using Neil Gaiman?
I say to you, this book has a bigger impact on our culture than the Bible.
Oh, my gosh.
Wow.
The Neil Gaiman version specifically?
Not, for example, the Dallaires?
Not the Dallaires.
Formerly the one I was much more familiar with.
Who can go fuck themselves as far as you're concerned?
Would never, ever say that about a brilliant genius Dallaires
whom I have always loved and adored.
Jordan, do you think the Dallaires were swingers?
I'm lost.
That's likely to me. I'm lost. Who's that? You never read the Dallaires book Whom I have always loved and adored. Jordan, do you think the Dallaires were swingers? I'm lost. Seems likely to me.
I'm lost.
Who's that?
You never read the Dallaires Book of Greekness?
Oh, yes.
I called it Dallarius.
Okay, great.
The Dallaires were a husband and wife team.
Did you ever read the DeLorean Book of Greek Mythology?
Yes, yeah.
The doors opened on either side.
Yeah.
They kind of opened up.
Yeah, no.
Well, so you feel that is the key to the current culture, Neil Gaiman's novel Norse mythology?
So, Neil Gaiman is not the super important part of this.
It's that he updated the ancient tellings of these stories from something called the poetic edda and the prose edda.
By the way, I am not used to playing straight man.
But as the weird guest in your clubhouse yeah i i take
our weird clubhouse sure yeah by the way this show does not have any any listeners listeners
there's a few things this doesn't have listeners or delineation between uh the straight person and
the crazy person or the comedic person.
That's why it does not work.
Yeah.
That's why it is unsuccessful artistically.
Yeah.
People just say, we're saying whatever we think of.
I was at my buddy's book signing at Books of Wonder in Manhattan.
Okay.
And I was flipping through this when it was done.
And I saw. Michael Chabon? Is that your buddy?
No.
My first guess was Michael Chabon.
Adam Gidwitz is my buddy.
Oh, wow. Adam Gidwitz.
Whose new book...
This guy's buddies with Gidwitz.
...is the second...
You should have him on your show.
His second Unicorn Rescue Society book is out now.
Okay.
I bet your daughter would like it.
I knew this as soon as you took it out of the bag,
not because I had considered buying it,
but because Amazon will not stop recommending it to me.
I highly recommend it as well.
Boy, I'm just getting this from all ends.
Jordan, you think Amazon's vaunted algorithm has figured out that you're kind of a nerd?
Yes, I know.
It's like, what do you think about this?
You know there's a Spider-Man game coming out. Yeah, I know. I've known that for like kind of a nerd. Yes, I know. Yeah, it's like, what do you think about this? You know, there's a Spider-Man game coming out.
Yeah, I know.
I've known that for like a year, Amazon.
I'm going to buy the Spider-Man game.
I'm going to buy the Spider-Man game.
I think you can have that for an Xbox.
Foregone conclusion.
Can I have that for my Xbox?
PS4 exclusive.
God damn it.
They all are.
That and-
Xbox is bad.
That and MLB the show.
Start getting into Gears of War.
It's the only Xbox exclusive there is.
Anyway.
But you're loving it, Paul.
I recognized that this is what, and I hate to bring him into this, 45 is basing his formula on.
Oh, boy.
There's no doubt about it.
his formula on.
Oh, boy.
There's no doubt about it.
Uh-huh.
And it's why no amount of negative attention could impact him.
It's why...
I'm sorry to go here, but, you know... He's going there.
The Democrats are hopeless.
Sure.
It's because of Odin.
I mean...
And his petulant sons.
I mean...
You won't...
I could run through the information really fast.
You won't find any quarter here for those fucking clowns in Congress.
Okay, all right.
How about this?
Are there any red noses in your bag, Paul?
Because I'd love to pass them out to our constitutional...
Oh, Paul put the windscreen on his nose.
He really yes-handed you there yeah this really is a theater of the mind episode when they collapsed al franken yep because they could not get rid of
a convicted pedophile without doing so right they got rid of the only person who could conceivably go back and forth with zingers and think on his or her feet and play the game the way the new ancient era game is played, whereby acting offended or quoting policy has no bearing at all.
You're underestimating the wit and wisdom of one Sherrod Brown.
Or Odin's petulant sons.
Speaking of Odin.
Yeah.
Did you know I have a show on Odin's day?
Did you know Wednesday is Odin's day?
Did you think maybe Tears day, Odin's day, Thor's Day, and Frigg's Day was not the type of time we were currently living in?
You just blew my frigging mind.
Bang.
Yeah.
In case you didn't think this stuff was relevant to right now, we live in Norse mythology times.
And all of this... Christianity had a much harder time
getting rid of the Norse influence
than all the other ones.
And you're saying that all of this
is because of Coraline author Neil Gaiman.
No.
And that one Marvel comic
where they were all pilgrims.
Remember that?
Did he write Sandman?
I think so, yes.
I never understood that.
I bought several of those.
Yeah.
People love Sandman.
And I looked at it.
I don't know.
What is Robert Smith so upset about?
That was my confusion.
Anyway.
My mind's blown.
Do we want to take a little bit of a break
and recollect our minds?
Let's take a quick break.
I've got to pick up the pieces over here.
You're listening to Jordan and Jesse Goh.
We'll be back in just a second.
It's Jordan and Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you.
It's Jordan Jesse Goh.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Moore's boy detective.
I'm MC Paul Barman, special guest star and tree fort guest to Jordan Jesse Goh.
Wow.
Tree fort guest.
Here in the fort.
I elevated the clubhouse into the air.
I think of it less as a tree fort and more as a honeycomb hideout.
I think of it as a Burger King kids club.
Ooh, I call wheels.
Aw, man, everybody wants to be wheels.
We have some sponsors on this week's program.
We sure do.
Of course, every week we're supported by all the MaxFun members who go to MaximumFun.org slash donate.
This week we're also supported by The Sound of Vinyl.
It's an album recommendation service that can learn your taste in music and offer personalized
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albums. Can I tell you what? I got a little
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I'll tell you what I took home.
Tell me.
I took home an Eric Dolphy album.
Which one?
It's called, it's the really famous one.
It's called Out of... Out to Lunch.
Out to Lunch.
Thank you.
Love that album.
Yeah, wonderful album.
Recommended on their website by Henry Rollins.
Sign me up! Yeah, wonderful album. Recommended on their website by Henry Rollins. Sign me up!
Yeah, I also noticed their recommendations section.
I got an Erykah Badu album.
One of the New America albums.
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Known as, he was on Willie Mitchell's High Records.
Albums produced by Willie Mitchell, the guy who produced Al Green records.
Wonderful album.
And I got our friend John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats album, All Hail West Texas.
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So there's all kinds of cool stuff that you can get at Sound of Vinyl. And what's really cool about it is that they will actually text you recommendations and
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You can visit soundofvinyl.com slash JJGO, and you'll get $5 off your first record.
How about one of those ones that we just sent?
Sure, get one of those.
Those are great albums.
They're all on there.
But guys, I want them all.
I know, I know.
You can have them by going to soundofvinyl.com slash JJ
Go. It's a lovely service, Jordan.
I like it too. I like it a lot too.
Also,
supported by our friends at
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Oh yeah. Get the Crute, baby.
You know, hiring is hard. I'm a small
businessman, Paul. This looks
like a gigantic enterprise.
This is...
Good delivery, Paul.
I really, that was really good. I meant it.
You should be proud of yourself. That's because we
have decorated it to look like
a next generation era
version of the Enterprise.
Sure. Which was
very sizable. I mean, everybody lives on
the disc part, but that can
separate from the rest of it. Right. if you need to shoot phasers.
But let's say you can't find your Uhura.
Right.
Which is from the original series, I know.
Please don't message me.
You're going to want to go to ziprecruiter.com.
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ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire.
It's Walter Koenig's choice.
Or the smartest way to hire, whichever slogan you prefer.
Q from Star Trek The Next Generation says...
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We've also got something up here on the Jumbotron, Jordan.
Hey, Paul, great Star Trek theme, by the way.
That wasn't me.
Did you?
Oh, that was just, oh, wow.
Did you know that the Star Trek theme-
It was me.
It was me.
It was Paul.
He tricked us.
You had me snowballed.
Paul, did you know that the Star Trek theme has lyrics?
No.
Yeah.
Because in the 60s, the creator of a television show would write lyrics to go with an instrumental
theme so that they would get half of the publishing on the song.
So like the Odd Couple has lyrics.
What are they?
Everywhere they go, they are known as the couple.
Really?
Keep going.
I don't remember the rest of it.
What's the Star Wars?
I mean, Star Trek.
Beyond the rim of the starlight,
our love is dancing in star flight.
Those are great.
I know.
Well, John Roddenberry, what's his name?
Gene Roddenberry.
Gene Roddenberry.
Rappers do that kind of thing all the time.
And I always thought, you know,
it'd be nice if there was more of a harmonic relationship instead of just copying the melody.
Oh, you mean, which kind of thing?
When the melody of the sung verse is exactly the same as the music, you're not creating a dynamic, making it extra attractive to drop the lyric.
making it extra attractive to drop the lyric.
So rappers often just sing along with the melody in the beat rather than adding a vocal melody that complements the melody in the beat,
is what you're saying.
Right, and I don't mean to disparage the brilliant classics that do that,
although I always wished I kind of had enough help to...
You think that Just a Friend is a garbage song and everyone who likes it is a garbage person.
Now that was putting words in my mouth.
I love that song.
Okay.
I mean, I heard you say that Biz Markie's classic Just a Friend is a garbage song and anyone who likes it is a garbage person.
And I'm going to look.
I already sent an email to, I guess, the breakfast club.
I don't know who would I email about this. Charlemagne the God.
Man, I cannot escape this clickbait culture. I thought here at NPR Enterprise Headquarters,
it would be a little different. Nope.
We've also got something up on the Jumbotron, Jordan. It's our old friends at VG Kids.
Yeah, VG Kids, the full-service screen printing company specializing in high-quality silk screen print rock posters.
Movie posters.
Art prints with specialty inks such as Blacklight Reactive and Glow in the Dark.
Everywhere they go.
We've used VG Kids for, I don't know, a decade to print all kinds of stuff.
kids for, I don't know, a decade to print all kinds of stuff.
They're a cool punk rock couple in the Midwest and their staff, and they always do a wonderful job for everything we do.
They can do stuff super fast.
They do small orders.
They do big orders.
They do water-based inks.
They do discharge prints.
What's that?
And discharge print is the one where instead of going on top of the fabric, it goes into the fabric.
Cool.
Like oil-infused skeletons?
So it's like soft, like an oil-infused.
Yeah, like a heap of sloth bones.
Anyway, they're offering Jordan Jesse Go listeners 10% off their shirt or tote order.
All you got to do is mention Jordan Jesse Go.
Just the whole customer service team at VG Kids.
They're all Max Funsters.
They know what Jordan Jesse Go is.
Just be like, hey, I heard about VG Kids on Jordan Jesse Go, and I'd like my 10% please.
VG Kids is the real hot spot at VG Kids.
Full of clothes we love a lot.
We'll do discharge prints every time.
No, that was great.
Really, really good.
That was really good.
Wow.
You really earned your half of the publishing.
That's at bgkids.com.
If you want to get up on the Jumbotron, it's easy.
It's cheap.
It's maximumfun.org slash jumbotron.
It's just a little thing we do for fans, Jordan.
Just a little thing we do for fans, Jordan.
Just a little thing we do for our peoples.
If you're out there in your audience, you got a little enterprise, you want to tell a lady you love her, we'll help you out.
You want to tell that boy he's cute, he's got a cute little booty?
MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron.
MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron.
Hit it up. We'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go
the news today is terrible so why not forget about it while listening to jonah radio
uh with cash hartzell hey everybody featuring neil mahoney also me this is a podcast where we play
music submitted by a listener we hang out we listen to new tunes and uh we take submissions
at jonah radio r-a-y-d-D-I-O, at gmail.com.
Come and check us out.
We're here anyway.
Yeah, we'll be here.
And that's it.
Back to your regularly scheduled podcast.
It's Jordan, Jesse Goh.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Jordan Morse, boy detective.
God damn it, Barman.
Come on, man.
I said it twice already.
Say it again.
Say it again.
People are trying to promote your album.
You've got to get your name in people's heads.
Barman.
One word.
That's it.
Barman.
Just Barman.
Yeah.
Now people are going to be buying ESPN personality Chris Berman's heads. Barman. One word. That's it. Barman. Just Barman. Yeah. Now people are going to be buying ESPN personality Chris Berman's album.
He accidentally buying the Berman album.
He's got a great.
That guy's got bars.
He does.
Yeah.
End of the day.
That guy goes back, back, back, back, back, back, back with the bars.
And the addition of the flautist, I think it was a great touch.
Oh, I love a funky flautist. You know, I didn't know that Berman had bars.
I knew Barman had bars.
I didn't know Berman had bars.
But when Berman ripped up the theme from the CBC's
As It Happens,
you know that song?
I Can't Get No Satisfaction?
No.
It sounded like that.
I'm just fixated on your friend's belly button.
Oh, it popped out.
Guys, I had a button come off.
It's saying hello.
Oh, boy.
Hey, fellas.
Jordan's B button's coming out to say hi.
Well, thanks for not sticking a finger in.
I wouldn't have.
At the end of the day, I'm just glad you didn't stick a finger in.
If I had stuck a finger in, it would only be after I asked for your consent.
Thank you.
When something momentous happens to you, like your belly button comes out to say hi.
Hey, fellas.
Curried Soul.
That's the name of the song.
Not familiar.
From the CBC As It Happens.
Never heard of it.
Mo something or other.
I can't remember.
Don't know what you're talking about.
It's got a funky flute on it.
That's why I mention it.
Is there a lyric to it?
No.
It's an instrumental.
It's like, my belly button just popped out.
That's why I buttoned that on purpose.
I mean, you laid down and it's an instrumental. It's like, my belly button just popped out. That's why I buttoned that on purpose. I mean, you laid down in here.
This is a Canadian show.
You throwing out any mixtapes?
Because I say loop that shit up, and I know you got bars.
Did you hear my Blue Moon Kaboom mixtape that I put out in late 2017 by any chance?
No, I didn't.
It's good stuff.
You should check that out.
That has the trifecta on it.
But it doesn't have
Curried Soul on it?
No, that doesn't have the
Check me out for the Jumbotron
Just for the fans
Very affordable
You can only do it once.
Yeah, there you go.
That's good.
That's a good piece of information.
Yeah, it is good.
Maximum Fund.
It would be nice
if one of those CBC hosts
was the one saying
Maximumfund.org slash Jumbotron.
Barbara Budd, maybe.
That would be great.
God, it would be nice to have Barbara Budd.
I think Budd would come on Jordan Jesse Go sometime.
Barbara Budd.
She's never in town.
Get B. Budd in here.
Yeah.
God, she's got stories.
I bet.
She's got stories.
Barbara Budd has stories.
I mean, there's that one time that a possum appeared to be dead.
It was frozen underneath somebody's porch in Saskatchewan, and then they thawed it out slowly in the oven, and it came back to life.
That is a great story.
Is that true?
I heard it on As It Happens once when I was in high school, and I've never forgotten it.
They tell Canadian kids that at Christmas.
Okay. They don't have Santa. They tell Canadian kids that at Christmas. Okay.
They don't have Santa.
They have the possum that came back to life in the oven.
Yeah, and they don't have gingerbread cookies.
They have possum cookies.
You know how in France they have that bell that flies around?
Right.
Different Christmas stories.
The part of the story that's missing right there is that was supposed to be dinner, and
then he got shamed into setting him free.
Oh, wow.
Because if you were serious about something like that, you would not put him in the oven.
You'd put him in the sunshine.
He's going to go in the latest volume of Rise,
my teacher told me.
Yeah, because sunshine's more restorative.
Yeah, quite.
Right.
Vitamin D.
Superman.
Energy from Earth's yellow sun.
Yeah.
Okay.
When something momentous happens to you,
like you get your energy from Earth's yellow sun,
we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN or just email a voice memo to us at jjgoe at maximumfun.org
for our beloved segment, Momentous Occasions.
Here is one such occasion.
Ring!
Hi, Jordan and Jesse.
This is Maya from Minnesota calling in with a momentous occasion.
My mom and I were just on a walk on Main Street. It's about 10 o'clock, so it's getting dark. And we were
chased by three little girls on bicycles singing to us in a gravelly voice a song that my mom will
now perform for you. I'm going on a trip in my favorite rocket ship. I'm going on a trip in my
favorite rocket ship. I'm going on a trip in my favorite rocket ship. I'm going on a trip in my favorite rocket ship.
I'm going on a trip in my favorite rocket ship.
That was a very accurate depiction.
Thanks.
Bye.
You're welcome.
First of all, you're welcome.
Wow, that seems rehearsed. That sounded like maybe it was just someone clipped out a segment from the podcast, the fiction podcast, The Truth.
Sure.
Maybe that was a left on the cutting room
floor of Dave Shumka's
new show.
This sounds serious? This sounds serious.
Yeah, that's probably just some material from the cutting room floor.
Well, they sounded like they were really walking.
They did. So when they said
we were walking, that gave it an air of authenticity.
The walking sounds really sold it. Yeah, I agreed.
I'm like, this checks out. The extreme triviality
of the story is what makes me wonder why anything should be said.
No one contemplated buying a rain stick in it.
There's no conflict.
There's not the conflict pyramid.
Yeah.
I mean, there's the question of, like, why aren't Democratic politicians doing more to address gangs in Minnesota?
Sure.
Specifically, gangs of little girls on bicycles.
On bikes singing.
I'm going on a trip.
For my favorite rocket ship.
On my favorite rocket ship.
Okay, here's what I heard you say.
Yeah.
Democrats are such titanic pussies.
Oh boy.
They couldn't beat up a little girl on a bike.
Paul, you've been reading too much Neil Gaiman.
Yeah.
We're going to take away your Gaiman.
We're going to take away your Grant Morrison.
Yeah.
We're going to take it all
because you're getting too worked up.
Sorry.
Neil Gaiman is just the conduit
from the ancient language to the modern language.
You're the ones obsessed with the author.
I'm talking about the archetypical crazy stories.
What is the internet if not a series of tubes?
Sure.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Okay, let's take another call.
But we didn't even say anything about that one.
Okay, yeah.
I feel like we covered it.
I mean, it was amazing.
You know what it had that I liked?
Speaking of genre fiction.
That did not sound like her mom.
Oh, yeah?
It sounded like she just switched the phone from one side of her head to the other.
Hello, it's me, Mommy.
Mama.
My mom, Mrs. Daffy.
We were caught in a run-by fruiting.
Hello, this is her mother, Tootsie.
form. We were caught in a run-by fruiting. Hello, this is her mother,
Tootsie.
That story did have a
Stephen King
vibe to it, didn't it? Absolutely.
Doesn't he think that could have been something that would happen in a
Stephen King novel in 1982 had it been
set in Maine? Yeah. I don't know
if this was in Maine. I don't think it was. It was set
in Minnesota, so I have to assume that this
was probably from a Prince novel.
Sure, right. Yeah, One of Prince's many novels.
Yeah, sure. Or maybe.
Who knows? Maybe Jesse Johnson or Wendy and Lisa.
What's his name? Oh, Prince Prince.
Yeah. Prince. Prince Rogers Nelson.
Got you.
Of Minnesota. I mean, could have been Warren Moon.
Sure.
Or Vikings quarterback Warren Moon. Hard to say.
Hard to say.
Hard to say.
Wait, why did you say that? Who is that? Prince? What's the connection? No quarterback Warren Moon. Hard to say. Hard to say. Hard to say. Wait, why did you say that?
Who is that?
Prince?
What's the connection?
No, Warren Moon.
Minnesotans.
Got it.
Yeah.
The category is Minnesotans.
Vikings, speaking of which.
Oh, boy.
What?
Just kidding.
Oh, we're back.
No, I'm just kidding.
We're back.
I'm just kidding.
Somebody get Neil Gaiman on the phone.
Okay, I'm ready for the next call.
Okay, here's our next call.
Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guests.
This is someone calling from Toronto with a momentous occasion.
I was in an orgy earlier this evening.
This was an awful lot of fun.
Earlier this evening?
Okay.
That's not the momentous part.
The momentous part was in one of the rooms, music was being provided by speakers
hooked up to a popular online music streaming service.
And at one point, at the end of the song, I was surprised to hear a voice say,
This is Jesse Thorne, host of NPR's Bullseye.
So, yes, one of Jesse's Bullseye NPR promotional spots was the soundtrack for a whole lot of wild sex.
Don't you want to know?
Oh, fuck, that's so awesome.
Oh, I wanted to know so bad.
Wow.
Oh, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Wow.
Wow.
But I sometimes think, let's retire this fucking segment.
Yeah.
All the things have happened.
We should do something else.
Jordan, earlier we had a call from two women who had been chased down the street at 10 o'clock at night by three little children on bicycles chanting a crazy chant.
Yeah.
So you think, after you hear that, Paul Barman, you think to yourself, this is nothing crazy.
There's nothing left.
There's no stories left to be told.
And at the end of the day, Jordan, as you know, we're just storytellers.
Exactly.
Not least of us, of course, Neil Gaiman.
Sure.
Tiny bit creepy, that guy?
Little bit.
All people who go to orgies are creepy
that's why they're at orgies
I support them I'm not against them
but they know that
okay a couple of things just before we get to
your voice coming in over the streaming
I think you should also
you know
go ahead and retire the segment
if you really really believe it
maybe that was it.
Maybe that was it.
Maybe that is as good as it gets.
It kind of folds back
on the show.
I think as good as it gets
is that movie
with Jack Nicholson.
Oh,
I put on that
when I'm having an orgy.
I mean,
I turn the sound off,
but it's just kind of
one of those things
that plays in the background.
Just want to take a look
at Gentleman Jack
once in a while.
Oh, yeah.
And the Divine,
Miss Helen Hunt.
And the dog that's also in the movie.
He's like, I was at an orgy earlier this evening.
When did it start?
He's home already?
I go to an orgy.
Yeah.
I mean, I haven't been to that many orgies, Paul, but I usually try to go to a
twilight orgy. So you got
one at three or
four that runs till about seven.
Then you got one from about eight to eleven.
And you pay the senior price.
This is if you've had a rain out in a previous
orgy. So you go to
a four to seven, then an eight to eleven.
You get home. You call your favorite
podcast. You stop podcasting yourself on the line.
You overheard something funny.
You get my brother, my brother, and me on the line.
You need a little advice.
You get never not funny on the line.
You want Jimmy Pardo to yell at you.
Sure.
So you get the three.
You get those taken care of.
You call Jordan, Jesse, go.
You have a little momentous occasion.
Have a little nightcap.
Maybe a handjob.
Fall asleep.
I want to know if anybody at the orgy, if your voice coming in over the loudspeaker assisted anyone in climaxing.
Yeah.
That's what you hope, right?
I think I could have driven somebody.
Can you get into a bra?
I don't know if I could have.
Or maybe bought them a little time.
Thinking about baseball. Yeah, bought him a little time. Like thinking about baseball.
Yeah, sure.
Listening to Jesse.
You guys are painting a very gross picture in my head.
That's not.
You don't love it.
Awesome.
You don't love it.
You're making a face.
You're making a face like.
When he's like, one of the rooms was playing a screaming now he was
kind of sex positive paul he was kind enough to share this experience with us there's like
different rooms yeah themes maybe you should have different npr shows playing
i usually head straight for the diane raim room sure if you want a blast to live from here. Piano jazz with Marion McPartland.
Sure.
Something for everybody.
Yeah.
Sexuality is a spectrum ball.
It's a rainbow.
It's a rainbow, Paul.
Projected through a prism.
And the prism is a butt.
And then there's a rain stick.
No, it's...
You were going...
It's actually...
Thank you. it's not
shhh
right
I thought it might be
slightly muffled
nah dude
okay
what I meant to say
was congratulations
yeah congratulations
thank you very much
thank you very much
I'm sure
I'm sure an MC Paul Barman
song is played
in an orgy
at some point
you know
this isn't
this isn't just about me.
I got a challenge for our listeners.
Try and get hard.
Here's my challenge.
If you're at an orgy, if you're in charge of the playlist, turn on Paul's new album.
Yeah.
Let that assist in the lovemaking. Is this available on Paul's new album. Yeah. Let that assist
in the lovemaking. Is this available on any
popular streaming services? Every single
one of them. Every single one.
Title.
Of course.
I'm trying to think of the right
song for this. Yeah, what would you say?
To really get it going.
Probably Oh Snap.
Sure.
Sure.
Absolutely. Sounds really erotic. But it's kind of more like my older stuff. To really get it going Probably Oh Snap Yeah Sure Sure Absolutely
It sounds really erotic
But it's kind of more like my older stuff
I think the new album might not be so
The older stuff is a little more sensual
Yeah
Quite a bit more
That song that goes
The joy of your world
Is Paul Barman
That song is an orgy
Beautiful, beautiful Barman
Yeah
It's orgiastic certainly I thinkman. Yeah, it's orgiastic, certainly.
I mean, Pitchfork called it orgiastic.
Boy, you keep bringing up my biggest fans.
Sorry, Paul.
I really, this is really wonderful and really cool.
It's great, it's great.
I honestly, Jordan, you know, when we talk about feeling like we were over with things, I didn't feel like there was any, there were any sexual momentous occasions left that we could hear about.
I was a little tired of it.
I want to hear about creepy child gangs in Minnesota more than I want to hear about sexual experiences.
People, you know, orgies and threesomes and all that stuff is all great.
I support it all.
We're sex positive, especially with anal August around the corner.
But what August?
Around the corner.
Anal August. Anal August.
Yeah.
Around the corner.
Milk, milk, lemonade.
Yeah, sure.
Around the corner.
Around the corner.
Anal August is celebrated.
Yeah, sure.
Around the corner. Around the corner.
The prostate is stimulated.
So, you know, at the end of the day, though, this really was a remarkable –
It's amazing.
A new leaf was turned over.
Truly amazing.
And I just want to thank my family, my management, some of my real heroes out there.
Yep.
I want to thank Mike Peska, who's always supported me.
Sure.
Odin's petulant sons.
I want to thank Odin's petulant sons for really upending the apple cart Norse mythology-wise.
Who's Mike Peska?
I don't know.
You know who Mike Peska is, Jordan.
He's great.
I love him.
I love the gist. He's the host of Slate's The Gist. I'm always listening to The Gist, Jordan. He's great. I love him. I love the gist.
He's the host of Slate's The Gist.
I'm always listening to The Gist.
Yeah.
He's a great guy.
He's got a lot of insights into the world and a great attitude.
Funny.
Great voice.
What are some of his insights?
Great voice.
Just insights into current affairs, the sporting world.
Yeah.
Popular culture.
The gist.
Yeah.
The gist with Mike Peska.
He's a great guy, Mike Peska. Got a great new book out. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Popular culture. The gist. Yeah. The gist with Mike Peska. He's a great guy, Mike Peska.
Got a great new book out.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
What is it?
It's like a book of sports what-ifs.
There's nothing to do with Norse mythology, though.
Which is disappointing.
Yeah.
I always pictured him as sort of one of Odin's petulant sons.
Okay.
Odin's petulant sons.
Okay.
If you have a momentous occasion for us,
206-9844-FUN or jjgoe at MaximumFun.org.
We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. Go.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. So you want to understand what's going on in the world.
But trying to keep up with the news can be such a headache.
With clickbait headlines, TV news acting like there's always two equal sides to every story.
And never enough talk about the various McDonald Playland characters.
Okay, in my defense, though, when I brought that up, we learned a lot.
That's true.
I'm Brent Black.
I'm Courtney Enloe.
And I'm Travis McElroy.
With Trends Like These.
Real life friends
talking internet trends.
We debunk misleading
headlines from the top
trending news.
We always throw in
at least one positive story.
But we call out bullshit
when we see it.
Join us each week
on MaximumFun.org.
Because with trends like these
who needs any memes?
Ah?
Ah? Yeah, that was great.
It's Jordan, Jesse Go.
I'm Jesse Thorne, America's
radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective.
I'm Paul Barman, analyzer, understander, and re-sequencer of all pieces of information
that are both insightful, humorous, wordplay-oriented, and romantic.
Wow.
Particularly on your new album, Echo Chamber.
Thank you.
We already talked about how Mike Eagle is on the album,
another one of my all-time favorites,
and another famous rapper who's also a really lovely dude,
in my experience, also on the record, Master Ace.
He's the best.
Master Ace.
Years ago, I had Master Ace on my old show,
The Sound of Being American, the one that I think you were a guest on.
I think that's how we knew each other.
I think I interviewed you.
Did we do that?
I think we did that once.
Thank you.
I had Master Ace on because Master Ace is like – Master Ace was like a teenager in the mid-1980s and is on like one of the form formative posse cuts the symphony of hip-hop and then he
went through all these kind of iterations of his career he never had a monster hit song
but he's one of those guys who has made some of the most beautiful and moving like adult human
being rap music well into I mean he's got to be he's got to be in his music well into, I mean, he's gotta be,
he's gotta be in his fifties now,
right?
I mean,
he's a teenager in the eighties.
birthday party.
It was bananas.
Everybody performed.
It was just incredible.
So now I think he's 51.
And he's the loveliest dude.
Like at least he was when he was on my show.
You,
you know him personally.
I found him to be the loveliest dude.
A great MC.
And certainly like Eminem would, would not exist were it not for Master Ace.
Eminem borrowed much of his style from Master Ace and has acknowledged as much.
It's a chain.
And we have – and there's some pretty incredible producers on your album too, Paul.
Mm-hmm.
Who's on the beats?
Who's on the boards?
We got a Questlove.
Oh, wait.
Questlove from the roots? Who's on the boards? We got a Questlove. Oh, wait.
Questlove from the roots?
Questlove from the roots.
Mark Ronson from Star Making?
From the Star Makings.
Yeah.
We got Memory Man who put a lot of it together.
I forgot he was on there.
It's just a little Memory Man humor.
That's fun.
A little Memory Man humor.
Good one.
Fun, fun.
He remembers everything. Uh-huh. We got Prince Paul in the house. A little memory man humor. Good one. Fun, fun. He remembers everything.
We got Prince Paul in the house.
Prince Paul put you on.
That dude put you on.
Yeah, he did.
Prince Paul.
He helped invent De La Soul.
He's the greatest.
He's also a real winning guy.
Wonderful person.
Charmer.
A charmer.
A lovely man.
And a brilliant producer.
Yup.
An inventor.
All on MC Paul Barman's new album.
Don't leave out Kenny Siegel.
I was going to leave him out.
Do you know him?
I don't like him personally.
I consider him an enemy.
You don't know him.
I don't like his, I don't like his, I don't, just don't want his name to pass my lips.
I'm not even going to say it now.
Well, he's great.
And he'll be DJing for me Wednesday.
I can't even say it.
And I am forgetting
somebody.
Timbaland.
It's Timbaland.
Timbaland recently said
that he owns every drum machine.
Can you imagine?
He probably does.
How awesome that
thing on the...
Imagine the shelving units where he's like,
hmm, which one should I use?
And it's one wall with every drum machine in chronological order,
like the sequence of evolution at the Liberia Tower Pits.
And on the upper left corner is the Linn drum,
and on the bottom right is, I don't know what,
probably an MPC or something.
Is Timbaland still, I don't know if you guys have seen Timbaland recently.
I have not.
There was a period where he was obviously on steroids.
Like where he was like ripped, like gigantic.
Like he looked like a professional football player for a while.
I don't say things about other people unless they're nice.
That's a good philosophy, Paul.
He's one of the greatest geniuses in hip-hop history.
Paul, were you trying to
plug a show and we were dancing around it?
Do you have a show on Wednesday?
It'll be done whenever you broadcast this, right?
This will broadcast on Tuesday, so
maybe people will have a chance to get out on Wednesday.
Go tomorrow night, LA!
Los Angeles.
Ride around the block three times like a Tesla coil.
Check us out on stage.
Me and Kenny Siegel.
Great Dane.
Open mic is headlining.
Legendary.
One of the final low-end theory evenings ever.
Oh, wow.
That's great.
Come check us out.
It's going to be so sick.
So where can we get tickets?
I think you've got to show up.
Oh, it's the getting at the door thing? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Doom. Phew. going to be so sick. So where can we get tickets? I think you've got to show up. Oh, it's looking at the door thing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, Doom.
Phew.
That was a close one.
I got a couple Doom tracks on there, too.
You just got a couple Doom tracks.
No big deal.
It's a big deal.
Got a couple Doom tracks on there.
It's not...
You just got a couple Doom tracks.
It's no sweat.
It's just got a couple...
And I got a shot of James Poyser.
A couple.
Oh, and James Poyser. Just a casual... Oh, yeah. James Poyser. A couple. Oh, and James Poyser.
Just a casual.
Oh, yeah.
James Poyser.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
This guy.
Drop the name.
Well, MC Paul Barman, thank you so much for joining us.
Yeah, thanks, man.
On Jordan Jesse Go.
It was so fun to have you here.
What?
It's over?
Yeah.
We're all done.
This is it.
Jordan's got to go home.
Daddy's sleepy.
He needs his night-night.
Yeah, Daddy needs his night-night.
Thanks so much for having me on.
Jordan, I made you some chamomile tea.
I don't want it.
I don't want it.
I put some honey in there for you.
Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
I'll fucking kill you.
This is how he gets when he doesn't have his chamomile tea.
Dig your grave.
I think he's just fine the way he is.
Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is our producer.
He's on the boards.
He's the one whose over loud laughter penetrates the sound booth.
You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.Reddit.com.
You can hashtag it, hashtag JJGo on Twitter.
Paul Barman has been our guest.
His beautiful new album is called, Paul?
Echo, Echo Chamber.
With parentheses around it.
We're looking at the LP right now, and it is a beautiful package.
It's a nice item.
Thank you.
You put together a nice package.
You took this serious.
I took it serious. I took it serious.
I took it serious.
Yup.
It is serious.
My life is in these lines.
I can't be ironic about it.
Every word I have in this album is something that I think is important.
Can we play a song on our way out, Paul?
Hell yeah.
Do we have your permission?
What song would you like us to play?
You don't need my permission.
Play it in between every segment
when I'm not the guest.
Well, this is giving permission.
Yeah, we're just getting permission.
We're all about affirmative consent.
I think you should play,
I would recommend
that you play Antennas.
It seems to link
to what we were just talking about.
Let's roll it out.
Here's our guest,
MC Paul Barman
with Antennas
from his new album,
Echo Chamber.
We'll talk to you next time on Jordan's Signal.
Thank you.
Thank you. We'll be a hero. Cause yo, that's a sandwich, man.
Crazy plans in my land. You'll get banished, man. Try me on and peach.
Find me on the beach. Grind me on the speech. Just like an old Spanish man.
You can't beat me like a body clone in the hoods where I kick it like karate tone.
This man spit right in the face of what you transmit.
Holding on to relevance.
Hoping that your hands slip.
Yeah.
And you fall into obscurity.
Walkie talkie antennas with no security.
Grand Mantis.
You really ought to wear your chances.
This yellow big road stays stormy like a day in Kansas.
And then another twist of touch. Yo. I'm on the road like a twisted Dutch.
I'm on the road like a twisted Dutch. We're all one Just different lumps of protoplasm
Every moment of joy counts as a bonus chasm
Each pore is an ear, from the shore to the skier
The core of the tear is the doorway to the here and now
We're an owl, I'm an orphan in Syria
I'm a more fortunate peer
A warm tent appears near the torment and fear
Our origin is clear, we're the source of the
seer i'm a self in sheep's clothing a wealth of cheap loathing knowing no thing full well
compelled to keep going come for the workplace stay for the high voice return for the rhythms
move in with them by choice if you didn't like me on other beats you'll love me on this one
i didn't change anything. Repeat yourself.
It's fun.
Kids' friends think I'm deeply flawed.
And if I fix ten things, ten more will keep me on.
We feel conflicting agendas rise and fall.
What we call our identity tries to synthesize them all.
But there's another option.
Wise guys and dolls can watch them go by like flies on the wall.
The Cindy mole is wabi-sabi.
The Indiegol, his job is hobby.
Don't hyper-focus on your diaper crocus.
Just change your drawers and wipe your toches.
Beliefs are the police of the mind.
Chiefly designed to relieve us of our fiefdoms of time.
Resigned.
Said no one ever, said no one ever.
Every text from my father, it was meant for my brother
I believe that we
will win, me and
grief my evil twin
my third ventricle got blocked but
word tentacles could not stop so energy
clocked, overheated and hot boxed
so I pictured galaxies and reached out
to Kathy's anchor and he yanked me
open and back to the earth's surface.
Thanked her.
I'm not doing a Patreon.
Just to find another format for you people to hate me on.
I'm from the flirtatious Cretaceous era.
Back when we asked girls on dates and faced the terror.
But I leave the bitching and moaning to the rich Roman old men.
Young cats make dope raps.
Don't act like there's a glitch in the moment. Thank you. MaximumFun.org
Comedy and culture. Artist owned.
Listener supported.