Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 612: Functional Ribbon with Sierra Katow

Episode Date: November 26, 2019

Sierra Katow (Stay Podsitive Podcast, Earth to Ned on Disney+) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of how Jesse likes hearing about the notes of certain bottles of liquor and wine even though he ...doesn't drink, the recent beverage-shaming Jordan experienced at work, and Sierra's fancy jacket and the various ribbons attached to it.  Plus, Jesse takes a few minutes at the end of the show to give a moving tribute to a childhood friend who overdosed last week. If you want to help bring some positivity to this tragedy, please consider joining MaxFun in donating to Homeless Youth, a SF charity that works hard to improve the lives of homeless kids in the Bay Area. Go to MaximumFun.org/evan Action Item: have holiday questions? Send them in -- 206-984-4FUN or JJGo@MaximumFun.org

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris had a glass of wine at dinner. Oh my gosh, Jordan. So, you know, if my tongue is a little loose this episode, blame the vino, as they say. Can I just episode. Blame the vino, as they say. Can I just say? Blame the vino.
Starting point is 00:00:29 Loose lips sink ships. Well, we're going down, baby. Man the lifeboats, women and children first. These lips is loose, and I'm going to tell you exactly what I think about you. Finally, you're a great friend, and I love doing the show. And Brian, you can go fuck yourself. Yes, suck it, B. Fuck yourself. I'm not even drunk
Starting point is 00:00:52 and I'm saying you can go fuck yourself. Long walk, short pier. Brian, you're doing a great job and it's always a pleasure to see you. Jordan, can I ask what type of wine was it? Did you go grige? Oh, no,? Did you go grige? Oh, no, I didn't go grige.
Starting point is 00:01:08 I got the red. Uh-huh. Just whatever the house red is at Fatburger on Wilshire. So I would say it had notes. It had notes of kind of a floral bouquet, but I would say that the baseline was a headache I'll have later. That was the main. I have to say, Jordan, I don't drink. Well, I am known the world over as the king of drugs.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Sure. I don't drink alcohol. And I don't think there is anything I enjoy more than buying alcohol at an alcohol store. Like at a BevMo? Not a BevMo. A BevMo is a little too... Vast. Yeah, vast and fluorescent lit. Although I did, look, I went to the BevMo to buy some E40 tequila brand for our friend Ben Harrison from Greatest Generation Ones.
Starting point is 00:02:12 But no, I prefer to go to the fanciest liquor store on earth and then have them tell me about all the things. And then I just like nod like, yeah. I understand this. Yeah, sure. I also know about notes. I also really like to talk to the wine guy at Costco. Oh. The wine guy at Costco.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Right. He just wandered out of a Jimmy Buffett concert and into the Costco and they just handed him an apron and said, you're the wine guy now. Right. He brings his own folding chair. Yeah. And that guy and his ponytail are such a delight. So which of these, I'll say to him, which of these Chardonnays is okiest?
Starting point is 00:02:51 And he'll know. He'll have something right off the dome. Yeah, he demands an expert. That's how he got the job, that. And he was there at the right time because of when the Jimmy Buffett concert went out. And then you buy a unit of wine that is the size of an Arrowhead water jug. Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:09 I only shop by Magnum. Right. Sure. Can you just buy a normal bottle of wine at Costco? Oh, yeah. They got tons of normal bottles of wine. They're not like drums or jugs, right? You can also buy drums and jugs, but primarily it's normal
Starting point is 00:03:25 bottles of wine at affordable prices. Right. I only want the amount of wine that would be thrown at me by Donkey Kong. That's how much wine I need. I want to know what the notes are. If I'm going to buy, like, I'll go into a liquor store.
Starting point is 00:03:44 The other day was my friend Dimitri's birthday. We're headed over there. We want to bring Dimitri a gift. Right. I know he's a whiskey fan, so I'm going to go in the fancy liquor store, and I'm going to have them describe to me all the whiskeys. Right. I'll nod sagely as though I understand what the difference between the tastes of wood are. You look like a man who would have whiskey opinions.
Starting point is 00:04:11 That is absolutely. I look like a man who would have those ice cubes that you freeze, but they don't melt. Right. Right. I've gotten my stepdad those for the last three Christmases. He always stoked to get them. But I love it.
Starting point is 00:04:28 I bought Dimitri something made by Welsh women. Oh, really? A whiskey made by Welsh women that came very highly recommended. It's a little tongue twister. From that guy at the liquor store. Should we introduce our guest on the program? I would love to. She's a stand-up comic, comedy writer.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Her name is Sierra Cotto. Love to. She's a stand-up comic, comedy writer. Her name is Sierra Cotto. Wow. That was great. Thank you. Sierra, welcome to the program. Joy to have you here. Thank you so much. I'm very excited to be here.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Thank you for wearing party jackets here. This is my only jacket, and I wear it all the time. You've already seen it, Jordan. I have seen it. And when you walked in wearing the jacket that I had already seen, I judged you. Okay. Harshly too. Alright, well,
Starting point is 00:05:11 this is what I ordered online and it came in the mail and then I was like, only this jacket from here on out. Sierra, I gotta tell you, when I walked in, and I was a few minutes late because I just recorded an episode of Go Fact Yourself with past guest Helen Hong and of course the great J. Keith Van Straten. When I walked in, and I was a few minutes late because I just recorded an episode of Go Fact Yourself with past guest Helen Hong and, of course, the great J. Keith Van Straten. When I walked in, I said, well, first thing I said, well, this must be Sierra Cotto because I had not yet met you.
Starting point is 00:05:35 True. First time. And I said to myself, what a jacket. That's what I said, Jordan. See, that's appropriate. Velvet? No, I guess you don't know this jacket as well as you say. Oh, yeah. It's sort of a fake satiny kind of thing going on.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Okay, like a crinkly satin that suggests velvet. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And, you know, it's got this ribbon here that comes untied, and I have to tie it with one arm, and it's impossible. So lots of good features. What does the ribbon do? I don't know. Is it purely ornamental?
Starting point is 00:06:04 Is it holding something up? Oh, purely ornamental. Okay. Yes, yes. No function. That would be silly. That's so that people can see that she doesn't have any cards up her sleeve. Right, right, right.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Sure, when you do your close-up magic. You really left that off her list of credits, Jessie. It's okay. It's an aspiration more so. Yeah. I guess I don't know. We know each other a little bit. We've known each other for a couple weeks now. But I guess I don't know. When we were having the drinking conversation, I guess i don't know i we know each other a little bit we've known each other for a couple weeks now but i guess i don't know in the when we were having the drinking
Starting point is 00:06:27 conversation i guess i don't know do you are you are you a wine person are you a non-drinker do you like a cocktail oh wow um yeah how do you feel about the wine at fatburger now i gotta go try it i haven't but it sounds delicious um okay great um yeah i would say i love oh i've gotten into martinis okay which is a little bit much but it's a lot of fun and i feel like um a real sophisticated kind of martini drinker girl it's such a good order you know it just sounds so good getting ordered you know yeah the first time i the first time i felt like i could like order something that sounded good i someone just told me order a seven and seven just do it like before i knew what drinking was good and i started that was my first one and i haven't had one in a long time
Starting point is 00:07:16 what is that i don't know oh uh it's like seagram seven which is whiskey and seven up so it is a it is a baby drink, but also, but it, it, it sounds classy and it seems like you're ordering it deliberately because, you know, of Mad Men or whatever. The thing about a martini that I,
Starting point is 00:07:36 as a non drinker, don't understand. And I don't think I've ever tasted a martini. I'll occasionally taste my wife's cocktail. Like it's fancy, you know, I feel fancy when I do it. And a martini. I'll occasionally taste my wife's cocktail. It's fancy. I feel fancy when I do it. And a martini.
Starting point is 00:07:49 If you want that fancy feeling, just get some ornamental ribbons on your jacket. I'd love to. All these ribbons are so functional. I feel like such a plebe. I look at a martini and I say to myself, huh, an olive drink. Ooh, but you got to get that olive in there. You got to get the olive and the olive juice. When someone orders the extra dirty martini and it gets served to them and it looks foggy and there's a little tint of brown.
Starting point is 00:08:21 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, nothing grosses me more. A little tint of brown? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, nothing grosses me more. Nothing is more gross than that vague little ribbon of brown that is swimming around in the glass. What about those Clamato commercials where the clam and the tomato dance together on ice? Whoa.
Starting point is 00:08:36 Is that real? Yeah, that was pretty gross. Wow. That was a real thing that definitely— Clamato is what you ask for, the one you raise your glass for, the pick-me-up that picks you up. You don't remember that? Oh, you know, I think I have seen a version of that commercial, but it's online only where they fuck. Well, yeah, sure. It's hot.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Honestly, I'll say it. It's hot. Yeah, Daddy likes it nasty. Sure. Something weird in this fat burger that I was having my glass of wine in was that they were playing the game, you know, the big game. The football game. Oh, sure. Well, it's football time.
Starting point is 00:09:11 It's football time, and they were playing the football game. It's autumn. That means footballs are in season. Pick them right off the tree. Yeah, me and my family, we go up to Maine, and you pluck the football right off the tree. Yeah. And you crack it right into your mouth. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:29 So they were playing the game on most of the TVs. But on one wall, there were three TVs and they were all showing a soundless rerun of Saved by the Bell, The College Years. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's not a sight I want to see. No. And it had been like, it had been like, obviously these were shot in SD, but they had been like
Starting point is 00:09:52 stretched to HD, making it all the more unpleasant. Wow. I'd like to see a wide Slater. Sure. Slater looks good wide. I presume you requested that. Right. Can we crank the volume on this?
Starting point is 00:10:05 Yeah, you're one guy standing Can we turn down the Packers game? And can we crank this Saved by the Bell to college years? That makes sense I have a question Is it a horny show? I don't remember ever watching the college years
Starting point is 00:10:22 Yeah, I don't either I think I had, you know, I had. Sierra, what's your before we continue with this conversation? R.E. Saved by the Bell of college years, horny or not. Yeah. What is your relationship with the Saved by the Bell franchise? Oh, man. Minimal.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Minimal. Yeah, I know about it. I think I had seen some, but it was never like my favorite show. And I think it was a little bit before maybe I would have been into that. I don't know. We're dinosaurs. We get it. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:10:50 You were all about that one where the people live in California and they have their own band. California Dreams. Right. The sophisticated after school live action teen sitcom. Well, I mean, if you're drinking an olive drink, watch California Dreams. Yeah, sipping that martini. Dreaming that Cali dream. The martini and the dreams.
Starting point is 00:11:12 I didn't know we were freestyle rapping, guys. Oh, we're not. I didn't mean to infer because if I suggested that, let's shut it down, please. Because that can only get us into trouble. What was the top... What is the thing that you would click on a clickbait BuzzFeed quiz about that showed up on Facebook? The start of blank is blank.
Starting point is 00:11:41 You won't believe it now. I didn't structure that correctly. But you get what I'm getting at. Yeah, Of the time, the zeitgeist of my life, I would say, well, probably like Gossip Girl. Okay. Or Great Scarves. Good Scarves, style, fashion. Sure. Upper East Side Manhattan. What is it? What does it mean? I don't know. Still don't know. Still have no idea. And yeah, I guess that. And then what? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:12:07 I also like I didn't have like cable for a while. So I was sort of like catching up late. So I was like watching SpongeBob into high school. You know what I mean? I was very like, ooh, this is what I was missing out on. You know, when you when you happen to be on vacation in the hotel rooms have Cartoon Network. Right. I'm on that Dexter game, you know.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Sure. Yeah. Dexter's Lab, not Dexter Showtime. Right, yes. But, you know, so I think it was – Who's this cat dog I've been hearing so much about? It was a real crash course. Sure.
Starting point is 00:12:32 But, yeah, so I don't know if I'm the best representation of what I should know. I get it. I would watch Danger Mouse right now. If you put it on a television in front of me, I'm still so jealous of my friend Jody Scott for having cable, getting to watch Danger Mouse whenever I don't know what Danger Mouse is. And the accompanying cartoon Bananaman. Yeah. Remember Bananaman? I don't remember any of them.
Starting point is 00:12:55 No. I didn't get to see it. Well. Only Jody got to see it. Along with Premier League football, whatever that is. Man. One of his parents is English. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:13:07 Yeah. Yeah. So Saved by the Bell. bell i don't know i don't never kept so saved by the bell based on the one that i kind of half watched in fat burger today uh-huh um zach was there yeah slater was there i believe you know screech was there oh yeah he was hanging on to Saved by the Bell franchise perhaps longer than any of the OG cast. Yeah. Then he moved on to his second career, Stabbing. Right. Yes. Stabbing in Reno.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Yeah. Reno, Tahoe. Yeah. Are those the same place? Yeah. Hard to say. Roughly. Reno, Tahoe.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Reno, Tahoe. Yeah. So, yeah. But it did not seem particularly horny. They did not seem scantily clad. I mean, I think that, you know, for folks our age who Saved by the Bell was like the only thing on TV between 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. Right. You had a lot of your early feelings about the characters on that show.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Right. Hunks and babes, they all were. Yeah, sure. Mandatory. Mandatory, yeah. But this one did not... I don't know. Maybe if this was your Saved by the Bell, you were having those feelings as well. I still, by the way, have a mandatory
Starting point is 00:14:18 hunk policy. Hunks only! Wow. Sure. Yeah, bring me those hunks. No dweebs. Keep the dweebs out, hunks in. Sorry, Poindexter. If you haven't kicked sand on a dweeb at the beach, you are not welcome. Kick sand or kick rocks.
Starting point is 00:14:35 So these hunks, the hunks also kind of have to be anti-dweeb. Yeah. Well, that's part of what being a hunk is. Yeah. Right. Unless it's the kind of hunk who takes off his glasses and turns hunky. Glasses make you a nerd. An ex-dweeb hunk.
Starting point is 00:14:50 Sure. Yeah. Hey, you know, can I back up for a hot second to the topic of beverages? I would love to talk about beverages. Okay. Well, this is actually less of a topic and more of a confrontation. Okay. Okay. Well, this is actually less of a topic and more of a confrontation.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Okay. Sierra, I want to talk about the public beverage shaming that happened. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Ooh, sorry. Wow. I was shamed publicly for a beverage choice. So the two of you cyber bullied, I would maybe call it. Yeah, cyber bullied and live bullied. So, yeah, cyber and IRL. The two of you have been working together as comedy writers on a television program.
Starting point is 00:15:28 So that's how the two of you know each other. Was this something that took place in a work setting? Making it all the more unprofessional. Wow. Yeah, I mean, but at the end of the day, Jordan here was fully, okay. Yeah. Let's rush him on this. OK.
Starting point is 00:15:45 OK. OK. You tell your version and I'll say what actually happened. Happy to do it. Thank you. Happy to do it. Then finally I will tell my version. Sure.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Exactly. And I was in a duck. Oh. A duck, you say. Yes. And then Jordan Lucas will steal it all. I don't know. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:16:03 I mean, OK. So I think the first time. Well, it seems like you've keened in on, you know, making the after lunch pilgrimage to check out the dessert selection. So, you know, sometimes you got a little cake. Sometimes you got a little brownie. You know, we're, you know, hashtag privilege. Like, sure. Hashtag blessed.
Starting point is 00:16:21 Hashtag blessed. Hashtag set life. Yeah, yeah. I know. It's great stuff. But, yeah, I think. Hashtag Hollywood. Hashtag Jeremy P So, yeah, yeah, I know. It's it's great stuff. But, uh, yeah, I think maybe Hollywood. Exactly. And hashtag daddy's no, no. Am I doing this right? I think so. No, none. And then I think you got, you know, maybe a brownie or a chocolate cake type thing. Right. And then he proceeded to fill, take a plastic cup and then go into the fridge. So, you know, it's not like it's out.
Starting point is 00:16:57 It's like you got to make your, you got to make, go out of your way into this machine called a refrigerator. What is this machine? I'm unfamiliar with it. Open that heavy door and pull out, you know, there's a selection of milks, but milk, milk, cow's milk, and fill that up, carry it all the way back to the room, you know, up some steps and then drink that in front of everybody. So. And yes, it was noted.
Starting point is 00:17:25 It was just noted. There's a couple lactose intolerant people in the room. So I think there's just a general like anti-dairy tone. So people were angry that he was having a beverage they couldn't have. I think that's wrapped into it. Did they feel taunted? Potentially, but it was shaming. So they were trying to taunt.
Starting point is 00:17:43 I love to pound a beer in front of an alcoholic. So here's what – but it wasn't just you remarking on it. It was – Then I took to the medias. It was filmed and put on the internet. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm saying my version.
Starting point is 00:18:01 We're not to my – I didn't mean to interrupt you. Carry on. I want to be clear. I've known Jordan a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he doesn't only drink milk. He drinks lemonade sometimes. I'd say roughly.
Starting point is 00:18:12 And then I'll go around the corner once in a while. Two milk steams. Per lemonade. Right. Okay, good. One third lemonade. I suppose you've got to cut the milk with some acid. Right, yes.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Yeah. Well, you know, if you plan on going around the corner. So, Sierra, what happened? So, Jordan sits down. So, he walks over. Was the food in the writer's room that he was eating?
Starting point is 00:18:34 Yeah, he also brought the dessert bowl with the milk. But here's what I'm trying to drive at, Sierra, and this is important, so please pay attention. Did he
Starting point is 00:18:46 get the food from a different location than the milk? Um, similar location, but I would say it wasn't on the same surface. Okay. So you served the foods on surfaces. It sort of feels like, say there's a buffet
Starting point is 00:19:02 What are you getting at, counselor? Where's this going? Your Honor, I stipulate that this is aimless. Carry on. I'll allow it, but watch yourself. So he went to a food and drink area. But you're suggesting that he took the cup and brought it over to the refrigerator when there was probably, what, squirt on the table? I mean, sure.
Starting point is 00:19:30 I think there's, you know, the water dispenser. Right. We're thinking, you know, just the usual stuff. But the milk. Fresca. Yeah, the milk was a bold choice. Cactus cooler, of course. Sure, sure.
Starting point is 00:19:41 A little, yeah. Sure, a grapefruit haritos. Those are all options. You know, but he swerved, went. A little, yeah. Sure, a grapefruit haritos. Those are all options. But he swerved, went for the milk. So then he brought this back up to the writer's room where people were trying to work, and were those people,
Starting point is 00:19:57 did those people have beverages and food of their own, or was he the lone wolf here? I think throughout the day, probably kind of the lone wolf. Throughout the day, we have our coffee. We have our LaCroix. Some water might get involved. These are classic office beverages. Yeah, but the minute you introduce something opaque, it's white and opaque.
Starting point is 00:20:17 Yeah, and there's also just a lot of selections of almond milk or oat milk, which is very trendy right now. I don't know. Again, I'm— Are you accusing him of being off-trend? I mean, I think that's possibly where all of our vitriol came from, you know? We're just real trendy bitches over here. I'm starting a new trend right now. Buttermilk for breakfast.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Lots of buttermilk for breakfast. Right. Yeah. I'm starting a new trend where you pound the jug of milk until your stomach can't handle the lactic acid and it forces you to throw up like in Jackass. Yeah. So, Jordan, what's your perspective on this situation? So, okay. So I am, as me, as a standard man.
Starting point is 00:20:55 Yeah. A normal man with no. A classic man. A classic man with no quirks. You're a man with desires. Sure. Yes. You weren't born a machine.
Starting point is 00:21:05 No. I mean, I listen when, God, what are the names of the characters saved by the bell? Kelly, Jesse, and Slater and Zach. I was great. They did the sexy calendar where they all wore in workout outfits. I felt feelings inside me. I'm not made of stone. You needed a cool thirst-slinging
Starting point is 00:21:26 shirt from the teat of a cow. It was time for it. I wanted to have a little dessert after lunch to get that end-of-the-day pep. I selected a brownie. It's been a great choice. Thank you! With or without nuts?
Starting point is 00:21:42 No nuts. Yeah, that's the preferred brownie. Yeah, I'll take a nutty brownie, but this was what was available. Whatever brownie you serve me. Obviously, I can't eat brownies because chocolate is a migraine trigger, but I imagine that I would like to eat any brownie you serve. Based on past brownie experience, it's one of the best foods. Sure. I would love to have any brownie, but I think I'd prefer no nuts. Yeah, me too.
Starting point is 00:22:05 I'm doing no nut November. Oh, really? Congrats. I don't think that's what it is. I think that's what it is. Okay. Have you been jacking off? But not with nuts.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Not with nuts, but not using nuts. He's so out of there. Once you hand me a brownie, how could I not? I'm tumescent. I'm ready to go. Okay, well. Again, you're not Metastone. of there yeah once you hand me a brownie how could i not i'm tumescent i'm ready to go okay well uh you're not you're not metastone you're a man with desires exactly um so i so you know i wanted to drink something and it's a brownie glass of milk very normal so i filled up a glass full of
Starting point is 00:22:39 two percent and i brought it up and sat down and as% is a nice compromise, by the way. I admire that. Thank you. And when I sat down and when people eyed the milk, a shriek went up. And three different cell phones from three different angles of the room came out and started filming me. Wow. Filming me like I was trying to break into a Scientology compound. And three different Insta stories posted me drinking milk with, what's this guy doing
Starting point is 00:23:18 captions? Weirdo. Psycho, I think was actually the term that I used. Psycho. Psycho. And a dancing milk carton was added to my shoulder. Oh, yeah. That was me.
Starting point is 00:23:29 That was my doing. Digitally. Thank you. Yeah, mine was the best. That actually was the best. It was actually of the cyberbullying, yours was the most artful. Yeah, I'm very good at that. Jordan, I don't know if you know this.
Starting point is 00:23:40 I know that you're an elder millennial. Yeah. Exennial. But that's called a deep fake. So you're suggesting I didn't drink the milk? No, a deep fake is when you take existing video and audio tracks and you add an animated dancing digital milk carton to it. Oh, okay. It's called a deep fake.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Deep fake, okay. Deep fake. Interesting. It's a type of May May Deep fake. Okay. Deep fake. Interesting. It's a type of May May. Is that like a Cybertruck? Yeah, it's a Cybertruck. Is a dancing milk a Cybertruck? Do you...
Starting point is 00:24:12 Sierra, what was your objection to this? Because I honestly, I'm trying to imagine eating a brownie with a glass of any of the standard office beverages, be it Fresca, be it Squirt. I mean, coffee, a little coffee and a dessert is good. But it's the end of it. It's 2pm. I'll be up all night. I see it now. You know, and I think it's good to reflect on your own bullying.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Yes, it's good to reflect. Because I do, you know, I realize okay, I might have gotten a little carried away with the peer pressure. You say, oh, that's a cool writer, that's a cool writer, that's a cool writer. That's a cool writer. But these two cool writers are filming this guy. I guess I got to jump on board. You know what I mean? So I was definitely influenced by peer pressure.
Starting point is 00:24:52 But I will say my history with milk is, it's also very heavy. Let's get into it. I was, you know, as we were, and I think the knowledge, the sort of mainstream feel about milk changed in recent years. But, you know, it was sort of like, oh, you got to drink milk every meal or else you're going to be short, Sarah. Right, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:12 You know, you're not going to grow. And I played basketball. It was very important that I grew to be over six feet. And it didn't work. But, you know, I was fed that for a long time. So maybe I've been let down by milk, you know? By the milk industrial complex. We should explain that you're 5'11".
Starting point is 00:25:30 Yeah, I know. I was an inch shy. Just barely. Okay. But, you know. So you associate milk with lies. Yeah, with lies, deception, and, you know, basketball. And basketball.
Starting point is 00:25:41 Sierra, are there other instances where you so easily fall victim to peer pressure? Yeah, for sure. Like when everybody jumped off that cliff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I jump off some of those cliffs. You know, you got to do it. How are you going to get that clout? That's true.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Oh, God, I'd love to get clout. You know, you get enough clout points to get three. Do you remember the website Clout that gave you points for your social media followers? I sure hope I would know, but I don't. No, it was a very bad. That was me trying to succumb to the peer pressure of knowing what clout.com was. Later on, I'll be talking about flus, the internet currency, and I'll be talking about swatch internet time, which was metric, by the way.
Starting point is 00:26:24 Really? Yeah. That? Yeah. That's fun. Parts of 100. The thing about this instance that I was the most shocked by was that three different people decided, I need to film this. I need to film this man drinking milk.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Just for content. No, not a nip. I mean, I think the nip stayed in the shirt. The nips were in the shirt, but the content, you got to do it for the gram. I think that's part shirt. But the content, you got to do it for the gram. I think that's part of the peer pressure thing. You got to do it for the gram. Did it occur to you it might be cruel, Sierra, to put a man on the gram?
Starting point is 00:26:54 Who's gram abstentious? This is a man with no gram. You're right. I don't think we knew it at the time. And then we were trying to tag him, and then he revealed no gram. Not even his cat. Not even my cat does not have a gram. And because you guys all posted that, my kids' moms found me and now there's many child support.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Which is what I was trying to avoid. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. You got to save that money for milk. I got to. I have a – listen. I have a milk problem and I don't want my kids getting their hands on daddy's milk money. Daddy being
Starting point is 00:27:29 me. Okay. Let's take a break. I think we've settled this beef or I should say dairy. We'll be back. You know what? That was good. What a, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And Sierra Cotto, unfunctional ribbon girl. Yeah, that's what she's known as. Serves no function. That's how she's to be distinguished from, I was going to say her whole name, but Mary,
Starting point is 00:28:10 the girl I went to high school with who would do her interpretation of rhythmic gymnastics in the cafeteria. That was a functional ribbon. She was professionally trained. That's functional. Just a thing she was, it was a passion project at first. Just during the lunch period. That's functional. Just a thing she was – it was a passion project at first. Just during the lunch period. She was a rhythmic gymnastics autodidact.
Starting point is 00:28:34 She had taught herself the art of rhythmic gymnastics and obtained a rhythmic gymnastics. So I bet it was a little more raw than the rhythmic gymnastics you would see on TV. than the rhythmic gymnastics you would see on TV. It didn't have the slick sheen of the television performances, but it had a certain authenticity that made it immensely compelling. Right, sure. Speaking of... So she was the first one to do rhythmic gymnastics at CBGB, right? Yes, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Back before it was just a T-shirt logo. It's just a fucking airport restaurant now, man. Fuck. Fuck. I want to kill myself. I already did. Whoa. This is my ghost.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Whoa. Hey, guess what? What? Jordan and Jesse Go is coming to San Francisco Sketch Fest. Yeah. We just announced this. We're going to do San Francisco Sketch Fest January 15th at the Punchline, which is one of our favorite clubs.
Starting point is 00:29:26 8 o'clock, we're going to have special guests. We're going to have music. It's going to be a good old time. You can get your tickets at sfsketchfest.com. You can also buy Judge John Hodgman tickets. It's going to be a good old time as well. I always love going to San Francisco Sketch Fest. Used to work there.
Starting point is 00:29:39 It's the most fun. That's where Todd Berry once spent 20 minutes complaining about my car to me. Sure, so come relive that magic. It's a death trap, man. That's what he said. Good Todd Berry impression. This car's a death trap. Was it, though? Yes. Okay, well.
Starting point is 00:29:57 It was a 65 Dart, no shoulder belt. Oh, boy. Yeah, drum brakes. Yeah, definitely a death trap. He made it out alive. Yeah, he did. And so did you. Oh, wait, no, drum breaks. Yeah, definitely a death trap. He made it out alive. Yeah, he did. And so did you. Oh, wait, no, maybe you're a ghost. Yeah, I died after I dropped him off at that party I was driving him to. I thought you had killed yourself because you were so depressed about CBGBs.
Starting point is 00:30:15 No, no, no, no, completely unrelated. I actually first visited CBGBs after that in my spectral form. Cool. Yeah. Did you get the T-shirt? Yeah, absolutely. You got to get the T-shirt yeah absolutely fell right through me of course that was a disappointment but at least i had enough real money to pay for it that's most ghosts don't have real money sierra i mean i i would know this all makes perfect sense if you're
Starting point is 00:30:39 looking for a place to spend your real money uh there's a sale in the Put This On Shop for your Thanksgivings and Black Fridays and Cyber Mondays and Small Business Tuesdays. It's 40% off all our pocket squares and 20% off everything else. You can use the codes SQUARE JJGO for pocket square orders
Starting point is 00:31:00 and HOLIDAY JJGO for everything else orders. That's at Putthisonshop.com. We also have some new t-shirts in the Max Fun Store. That's true. These things are sweet. You know, I bought one of them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:14 We don't get them for free. We sure don't, yes. I own the company. When people ask me if I could hook them up with a free Jordan Jesse Go t-shirt, I say it's rude of you to ask. Yes, number one. And then two, I couldn't help you even if you were a polite person because all the t-shirts are made off-site and shipped from whatever this other site is.
Starting point is 00:31:35 Yeah. Some place I don't want anything to do with. Yeah. Who knows what's going on there. Yeah, probably something shifty. Probably something shifty. So yes, but yeah, these something shifty. Probably something shifty. So, yes. But, yeah, these are handsome shirts. There is a Prank Bear t-shirt and a Bart Simpson Always Has Table t-shirt.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Yeah. Of course, Jordan Jesse Go listeners know what that is. But, Sierra, Prank Bear is a bear who comes in the autumn, plays a prank on you, then double flips you off and goes, see you in the spring, asshole. flips you off and goes, see you in the spring, asshole. And, of course, Bart Simpson always has table is what my son said to me because he was trying to figure out what a skateboard was. That's good. Just a picture of a skateboard and says table underneath it. So, yeah, you could see how these things on T-shirts would make perfect sense.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Yeah, love it. Got to have it, but can't be hooked up with it. My only disappointment is that people won't have time to wear them to their Thanksgiving dinners with their families, but I think you could get it there in time for Christmas. Oh yeah, confuse your family at Christmas. Round the Menorah.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Absolutely. Office holiday party. That's a good place to confuse people. Kwanzaa. Sure. It's an example of collective enterprise. Confuse people there. That's one to confuse people. Kwanzaa. Sure. It's an example of collective enterprise. Confuse people there. That's one of the nights of Kwanzaa, I think, if I remember correctly. MaxFunStore.com to get all your
Starting point is 00:32:54 Jordan, Jesse, Go! and other MaxFunShow merchandise. A lot of cool stuff up there at MaxFunStore.com. So much cool MaxFunStore stuff. Actually, John Hodgman, my co-host on Judge John Hodgman, there is this type of Canadian generic groceries called No Name Brand
Starting point is 00:33:10 that has distinctive yellow packaging and Helvetica type on it that just says, like if you buy corned beef, it's just a bright yellow can that just says corned beef and Helvetica on it. They're very amazing.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Sold at grocery stores in Canada. And John Hodgman, because he got so obsessed with these things, made friends with the people who work at the corporation that owns this generic food product and got them to license us the design so that we could make a Judge John Hodgman T-shirt in this universally recognized aesthetic. MaxFunStore.com for all your deep cuts.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Yeah, we'll be back. No album tracks. Oh, shit. And Jordan, if anybody's in the Southern California area, we're having an in-person Put This On Shop sale on December 15th. So go to Putthison.com. You can find the details there. It's going to be at the 2B headquarters
Starting point is 00:34:09 of Maximum Fun, which is currently just an empty brick building. So if you're in LA, come stop by on December 15th for all kinds of gift items and records and all kinds of cool stuff. Okay, we'll be back in just a minute on Jordan Jesse Go.
Starting point is 00:34:23 Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, cool stuff. Okay, we'll be back in just a minute on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Siricato, unfunctional ribbon girl'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Sarah Cotto, unfunctional ribbon girl. Sticking with that. Stick with that. Look, I think beauty is a function. It's true.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Sierra. Can be. I think this is a spectacular ribbon. You should be proud of your ribbon. I know. I'm shaming the ribbon like I did poor Jordan drinking the milk. I feel bad. So when you get home, just dunk that ribbon in some 2%. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:09 And then it'll all be right. That's good. And then squeeze it into your mouth and think about how – This is really upsetting. Yeah, you're right. Milk and clothing? Gross. Actually, I'm going to start filming you real quick.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Okay, but make sure you add a cute animated character. I know how to make a deep fake, Jordan. Okay, sorry. I didn't mean to imply that you didn't know how to deep fake. When something momentous happens to one of our listeners, we ask them to call us at 206-984-4FUN. That's 206-984-4FUN. Or just send us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfund.org for our segment, Momentous Occasions. Let's find out what momentous things have happened to our listeners this week.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Jordan and Jesse and Sonny D and guest, this is Steve from Pennsylvania. After basically a decade of dealing with major depression and being on dozens of different antidepressants and none of them really doing what I wanted them to, I finally got my insurance to approve TMS therapy, transcranial magnetic stimulation. So now every day for the next six weeks, I go sit in a chair and I get magnets shot into my brain to try to make me less depressed. And I just finished up my first week of treatment. I have four more weeks to go, and then hopefully after that,
Starting point is 00:36:32 I'll be back to, you know, the way I felt 10 years ago. So it's pretty exciting, and it feels like a pretty momentous occasion. So I just wanted to call and let you guys know, and also thank you for helping getting me through some of the worst parts of uh all that time with your uh hilarious gags and love you too nick offerman yes and i wouldn't call what we do gags but i don't know whatever it seems like uh no it's very sweet. Yeah, congratulations on trying new things to get help. I think it's so easy when you're having a bad time and something doesn't work to just say fuck it.
Starting point is 00:37:14 And yeah, it seems like this guy's really doing the work to get healthy, which is great. I've got a headband that electrocutes my head. Really? This is for migraines? Yeah, this is for migraines. It's called a cephaly. Okay. It is, I bought it from a Canadian Costco.
Starting point is 00:37:31 Now what's their wine guy like? It's actually Graham Clark from Stop Podcasting Yourself. Oh. Doing double duty. I had it sent actually to Dave Shumka from Stop Podcasting Yourself, and he was kind enough to send it to me. And it is like – it looks like Geordie LaForge headband. And I put it on – it's a little helpful to me but not super helpful. But it like stimulates the occipital nerve, which is the one that like runs from your nose up into your brain.
Starting point is 00:38:03 nerve, which is the one that runs from your nose up into your brain. And it goes on the center of your forehead, like where you would put a bindi or something. And it truly makes me look like an insane person. I mostly use it on airplanes. Airplanes are a big. But sometimes at the theater. Yeah, exactly. And like every time I put it on, I feel like I'm trying to do the math on how many nearby people I need to explain that it's a medical device. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Like I'm like, well, definitely this person sitting directly next to me has to get a heads up. What about this? What about this flight attendant? Should has to get a heads up what about this uh what about this flight attendant should this person get a heads up because i feel like every time i put it on there are two ex-college football players in the back uh hunching together and talking about how they're gonna bum rush me sure take me down it does from the description oh sorry go ahead oh i'm just like what do they think it is some Some sort of something. Sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:05 Yeah. Something dangerous. Maybe not a normal or appropriate thing. Yeah. Maybe not. They're not less worried about the thing itself and more worried about the kind of person who wears it. Like you might be a supervillain. Yes.
Starting point is 00:39:17 It has a super the way you describe it as a supervillain. Sure. Aspect to it. It has a super villainy, sure, aspect to it. But, I mean, if it's like the headpiece that Magneto wears, it's just to make sure that people can't read your mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who wants that? A little privacy on a plane. Who wants that?
Starting point is 00:39:34 Privacy. I know I keep getting advertised but have never used this thing that, like, you can put on your stomach and it's supposed to get rid of your cramps. Really? Oh, wow. Like, right away. They're like, oh, why even bother taking a painkiller because it'll do it instantaneously instead of like you waiting around. But I don't know. Who knows if it works.
Starting point is 00:39:51 It looks like the future. Does this go under the clothes? I think so. Probably just like right on your skin, like two little node things. I'll tell you, Sierra, I used one of these. It was advertised to me on Insta. I used one of these and I have not had a menstrual cramp since. Wow
Starting point is 00:40:10 Testimonial. Had you had them before though? No, I don't menstruate Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, I think that's a cool specific case. Yeah. You know, they gotta test everybody. You gotta test everybody Otherwise, are you really doing it? Thank you. I put it on my butt too specific case. Yeah. You know, they got to test everybody. You got to test everybody.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Otherwise, are you really doing it? Thank you. I put it on my butt too. It's just good science. I should mention I put it on my butt. Yeah, well, you know, you never know where they're going to pop up. Yes, that's true. That's true. You're being, and thank you, you're being very positive about this.
Starting point is 00:40:36 Right, right, right. I mean, listen, we all experience life differently. My, back to my milk drinking. Yeah. Okay. My milk drinking became a kind of a recent habit yes of mine it came kind of in conjunction with like dealing with a tough time i think like this guy like our caller was talking about um you know i had i had a little i had a
Starting point is 00:41:00 had a rough patch and was kind of worried about money and kind of all this other stuff. And I'm like, well, you're going through a rough patch. What do you do? And I'm like, hey, Jordan, sometimes you deal with this by drinking. Maybe don't do that and see how things shake out. Is it better? Is it worse? What's this going to do?
Starting point is 00:41:18 But then there was this other kind of stuff. I'm like, OK, well, but I would like to do a self-carry type thing something i enjoy you know have something to look forward to um and that thing became whenever i would go to the grocery store i would go to the bakery and get one of the slices of cake they have for two dollars uh-huh just stick her in the fridge maybe i would eat it that night. Maybe I would save it. But I had this $2 cake that became like the thing that always like blew my mind. And I think I was looking forward to. And I started having that, you know, kind of at the end of the night with a glass of milk. And it's kind of made its way into my into my kind of diet when I'm having a little something sweet. I want that savory milk. So what you're saying is we made fun of you for the one salvation you had. For my self-care. Beautiful.
Starting point is 00:42:13 Thank you. Even better. Yes. Well, that's beautiful. Anyway. I do like that. But I was telling that to a friend recently, this kind of cake thing about like, oh, you know, something I really like doing, something that's always fun,
Starting point is 00:42:25 not a big expense. I was like, hey, I go to the grocery store and you go to the bakery and they'll slice off a piece of the cake there for two bucks. My friend's like, wow. You know, that's really sad. Just right in
Starting point is 00:42:42 my face. Just right in my face. And telling it out out loud it did seem a little bit sad but um i don't know i mean i like that you know you found something very accessible sure and then i like to get a little roll cake what's the roll um a little roll cake uh swedish roll cake i find it in i find it at the japanese market in little tokyo Anytime I'm there, I'll pop that in the little basket. And then you put that in the fridge and you can have that whenever. It's like green tea, so it's not like so, so sweet. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:12 Sure. And I'll have it with green tea. So you double up that green tea. And to get those antioxidants. Yeah. But also with the milk, though. Yeah. You're getting your calcium.
Starting point is 00:43:22 Strong bones. See, I'm really trying to make up for all this bullying. You're getting your calcium strong bones see i'm really trying to make up for all this you're getting your calcium i come from a real thin bone little little tiny little bone little asian women family so we gotta take our calcium pills oh sure but if i're drinking milk more i wouldn't have to do that that terrible routine and pop in a big old calcium pill in my mouth and also maybe something you also didn't know going into that was my mom says I'm going to hit my growth spurt any day now. Well, some are lucky, I guess. And then maybe the girls will start noticing me. Bit of a show off.
Starting point is 00:43:52 Let's take another call. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. I'm calling in with a momentous occasion. So I'm a medical student, and I recently finished my clinical year. And it was a super long and exhausting year and I finished on my surgery rotation which was also very exhausting but in the last week of my rotation I hit like the high point of my medical career so far because one of the surgeons let me sew a dude's scrotum back together
Starting point is 00:44:25 all by myself. I did a beautiful job. The scrotum still looked like a scrotum when I was done. God, I'd love to sew a scrotum. I decided I want to be a surgeon. Yeah, well, just go back to med school. Maybe I just do more years of study. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:41 I mean, and that's good. I mean, because I think, you know, she took, I mean, it's clear that she's a fan because, I mean, what do we say on this show constantly? Don't neglect the balls. Especially if they've experienced trauma. Yes. So, you know, it's good to know that people are out there listening because I don't think we do this. I mean, I'm speaking for you, Jesse, and let me know if I'm wrong. We don't do this show to entertain but to educate yeah i'm a sierra you don't know this
Starting point is 00:45:09 about me you work with jordan so you know a lot about jordan but just so you know i'm a really big fan of uh the love of lifelong learning right um so i'm really committed to whatever it may be, going to the writer's annex. Sure. Taking a community college pottery course. Reading a book out loud at the farmer's market. Sure. To anyone who will listen. Yeah, yeah. And of course, let's not forget-
Starting point is 00:45:40 Outdoor classroom. The great courses. Yes. I can't get enough of the great courses. Hell, I finished the great courses. I'm on the very good courses now. Wow. Congratulations.
Starting point is 00:45:53 I mean, just hunker down before you get to those bad courses. How to eat change? Okay, I guess I'll listen to this. It's kind of a bad course uh yeah i mean i bet when you i wonder if the scrote when sewed up i wonder if it loses sensitivity well i think they cut open my scrote to give me a vasectomy i think it's either It's either immediately below the scrote or on the scrote. I can't quite remember.
Starting point is 00:46:28 And yeah, like my balls are extraordinarily fast. Oh, cool. Yeah. Speaking from experience. Sure. Well, more so? Yeah. They don't, unlike
Starting point is 00:46:43 this scrote, though, they no longer look like a scrote. Now, they look a little bit like a volleyball. Oh, interesting. Yeah, sure. But, I mean, what is – I had a – What is the male scrote but a Rorschach test? You're seeing what you want. Yeah, right, right.
Starting point is 00:47:02 You're going to project your, you know, idea of the scrote. Also, when I look at it, I see my dad being disappointed in me. I mean, it's tough. My surgeon was named Wilson, and he always signs his work. Well, that's probably. Big fan. Probably it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Yeah, Wilson's great. If you have a momentous occasion for us, 206-984-4FUN or jjgoatmaximumfun.org. Jesse, can I give our listeners a special assignment? Yeah, I would love this. Because, I mean, I know our listeners. An action item if we will. I know our listeners. They're a homeworky bunch.
Starting point is 00:47:33 Yeah. We're going to have some special holiday-themed guests coming up. And we wanted to – I think we would call them holiday experts. So, you know. We've got Dasher, Dancer, Donner, Blitzen. We wanted to, I think we would call them holiday experts. So, you know. We've got Dasher, Dancer, Donner. Sure, yeah. And if you'll recall, the most famous guest of all, Chris Fairbanks.
Starting point is 00:47:58 Oh, okay. Yeah, anyway, I kind of abandoned the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I wish I had kept it going. It's a tough one. It's, you know. Anyway. Someone re-record that. What were we going to say? Oh, so we have some special holiday experts coming up on the show.
Starting point is 00:48:14 So if you have any holiday conundrums, holiday issues, maybe some stress around going home, dealing with family, presents, that sort of thing, give us a call. We're going to be answering special holiday-themed questions with holiday experts. So 206-984-4FUN. Yeah, that sounds awesome. I'm pumped about that. You can post them on Reddit if you want to, but you can also give us a call. Can I prime the pump with a holiday question of my own? Sure. Yeah, what do you got?
Starting point is 00:48:47 You know those silver balls that are on holiday cookies sometimes? Enough about your surgery! Sorry. You know those little silver balls? You know the kind of silver balls I'm talking about. Where are they at? They're on a holiday cookie. Where are those balls? Holiday cookie? They're on a holiday cookie. Oh, yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:49:03 They're on a silver fox, like a handsome guy, like that guy from Mad Men. John Slattery? Yeah, John Slattery. Right. No, they're on a holiday cookie. You know, they're like a little silver, shiny silver ball. What are those and can you eat them? I don't know if I've ever seen that.
Starting point is 00:49:22 Don't know and no. Okay. Well, we'll be back. Definitely don't eat that. Oh, no. You can know. Those are good. You can nom those all day long. I like to eat handfuls of them at the farmer's market. Those are BBs, Jordan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:36 I know. You can spit them back out. And then afterwards, it's a little scavenger hunt in the toilet. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. This week on Bullseye, Lin-Manuel Miranda on his dark materials, hip hop and life after Hamilton. I know it's the first line of my obituary.
Starting point is 00:50:07 So if that line is handled, then what else can I do with my time here? It's Bullseye for MaximumFun.org and NPR. Hey, it's Jesse Thorne. Hey, it's Jesse Thorne. We're very happy to announce that tickets for MaxFunCon 2020 will go on sale Friday, November 29th at 11 a.m. Pacific. I also want to let you know this coming year, MaxFunCon 2020 will be our last MaxFunCon for the foreseeable future. For 2020 and beyond, we're going to be looking for ways to connect with more of you in person and spread the spirit of MaxFun
Starting point is 00:50:50 farther than it's ever gone before. In the meantime, if you want to join us at the last MaxFunCon in Lake Arrowhead, June 12th through the 14th, you can find details at maxfunCon.com. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Jordan Morse, boy detective. And Sierra Cotto. I'm going to say functional, Ruben girl. Yeah. We've evolved. Wow. We've grown a lot. We've grown a lot. We've learned a lot.
Starting point is 00:51:27 And you know what? You have grown a lot to the point where I think that it's not the ribbon who's functional. It's you, Sierra. Oh, thank you. That's very kind. You're really adding a lot to this great nation and to your community. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:51:43 Thank you. I needed that. Sierra, you're a stand-up comic as well as a comedy writer. Where can people see you perform stand-up comedy or follow your working career? Yeah. I mean, I post my stand-up dates on my website, SierraCotto.com, and my Instagram at SierraCotto, S-I-E-R-R-A-K-A-T-O-W. And then, yeah, I'll just, you know, I run a show in Koreatown that may be ending, so maybe it won't happen anymore.
Starting point is 00:52:10 But if it is, it'll be there, and you can look up the details. Yeah, that's most of the stuff. I think a lot of our listeners would love to follow you on Instagram at Sierra Cotto if you promise to further humiliate Jordan. Oh, yeah. The content will be flowing.
Starting point is 00:52:26 You know, lots of little milk gifs, lots of deep fakes. Mm-hmm. So, yeah. We could talk about our show. People could get excited about our show, I guess, if they wanted to. Yeah, it's a thing. Yeah. It's been announced.
Starting point is 00:52:41 Sierra and I are writing for a show that's coming up called Earth to Ned. It's from the Jim Henson company. It's going to be on the Disney+. Yes. It's about an alien who traps celebrities in a tractor beam and forces them to be on his talk show. I saw our friend and past Jordan
Starting point is 00:52:57 Jesse Go guest Eliza Skinner post a picture on Twitter of herself in a puppet control area with puppet switches and a puppet microphone and all kinds of cool stuff. Very cool. And I replied to her tweet, cool. And then I got really worried that she would think I was being sarcastic when I actually
Starting point is 00:53:19 just meant it literally. And I had to reply to my own reply. Just so you know, I mean this sincerely. I actually do think it's really cool. You should have added an exclamation point. Did you have an exclamation point? Yeah, I put two. Is that good?
Starting point is 00:53:33 I think one is good, too. Wait, sorry. I put an interrobang now that I think about it. Well, there you go. Like I was incredulous. Cool. Yeah, Eliza's the head writer and co-EP yeah there's gonna be a lot of
Starting point is 00:53:48 I think there's a lot of MaxFun adjacent to participation you'll find so yeah if you don't already have those Disney Plus subscriptions scoop them up scoop those subscripts baby Yoda won't be there forever you know that's true baby Yoda will
Starting point is 00:54:04 be dying. You gotta move on. They've shown us. That's the top secret stuff we got. We can't say. Yeah. As employees, they have shown us every episode of The Mandalorian. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:13 Baby Yoda does get ripped from limb by a rancor. Wow. Yeah, but we got pieces of it, so. Yes, they gave us his. This is really cool. They did give us his pieces. Where does grown-up Yoda come from? A graft? Yes, they gave us his. This is really cool. They did give us his pieces. Where does grown-up Yoda come from? A graft?
Starting point is 00:54:27 Yes, exactly. Yeah, it's like when you cut a starfish up. Every piece grows a little Yoda. Oh, they're good. So listen, before we go. Our show's far cuter than Baby Yoda. Everything on our show, far cuter than Baby Yoda. Before we go, I want to say one thing, and I apologize in advance because it's a little bit of a sad thing.
Starting point is 00:54:47 But last weekend, I got a call from my childhood best friend, Peter Fraunfelder. And he said to me, did you hear about Evan? And Evan was a friend of mine since I was two years old. We went to preschool and elementary school and high school together. His parents were like extra parents for me. And I said no. And he said, Evan died. And he died of an overdose.
Starting point is 00:55:33 And I didn't know he was using. And it was a real gut punch. It's, I mean, I hope everyone knows. I'll be okay. Um, uh, but it's, it's a, it's something where it's, it's, uh, been really difficult for the whole community of people that, um, I grew up with and went to school with and, um, uh, my family and obviously Evan's family and Evan's parents. And Evan was a really special guy, a brilliantly talented artist. He did visual art at School of the Arts where I went to high school.
Starting point is 00:56:21 He was a very gifted comics artist and a very gifted fine artist. He was a very accomplished graffiti writer. I was just talking to his mom and she told me that somebody called her the other day because they saw a piece he did. His graffiti name was Spesh. And they saw a piece he did in Brooklynoklyn 3 000 miles from where he lived but he was up everywhere and also a really uh a really gifted artist um and he was just you know he was the guy we used to hang out at his parents house and listen to weird al tapes and um uh and in his passing i've talked to a lot of talked to a lot of people online in real life and he just – he added so much joy and happiness to so many different people's lives
Starting point is 00:57:19 by just being that guy that everyone liked and wanted to hang out with. being that guy that everyone liked and wanted to hang out with. So it's really horrifically sad that he passed away. But I have another friend who also went to preschool with us and went to high school with us. And he was like, we should do something for Evan. So I talked to Bucky Sinister, who's a past guest on this show. And Bucky is in recovery from heroin addiction and has worked in recovery for many years in the Bay Area. Wrote a great AA, NA book. And I asked him who was like the creme de la creme of organizations working with addicts and in recovery in the Bay Area. And he up and down recommended a group called the
Starting point is 00:58:15 Homeless Youth Alliance who work with young people in San Francisco who are living on the streets and meet them where they are, no matter where that might be, including addiction, but all other kinds of assistance as well. And I called them up and I talked to the Homeless Youth Alliance in Evan's name. I was like, I want to do it so that it feels like we're really doing something. So we're going to donate $5,000 to them in Evan's name. And I hope that you Jordan Jesse Go listeners might consider joining me and making a donation of really any amount. If you go to MaximumFun.org slash Evan, E-V-A-N, we just, you know, there's a picture of the two of us in goofing and goofing around together when we were 15 and a link to where you can donate. And if you just follow the link and type in that it's in Evan's memory,
Starting point is 00:59:27 it would mean a lot. I talked to Evan's parents about this and everything. So, yeah, he was just a really special guy. And he means a lot to me. And it's something that can really – it's something that could have happened to any one of us or to any one of our friends or family members, a horrible tragedy.
Starting point is 00:59:53 But also, like, I would like to have something positive come out of it. And I also, in doing something in his honor, And I also, in doing something in his honor, I have been remembering all the light that he brought to my life and hearing about all the light that he brought to the lives of others. And I don't think – I think he lived a very full life and left the world a lot better than when he got there. So, yeah. So I hope that you'll go to Maxim help people get their lives together and on track while they're young and their lives are ahead of them. So MaximumFund.org slash Evan, and that's it. Sorry to be sad, but I hope everybody will throw a few bucks that way.
Starting point is 01:01:14 It'll make everybody – it'll help people and I think it'll make a big difference for his family. And I know I'll be really grateful for everybody who does that. So thank you for that. Sorry, guys. Sorry to bring down the mood. Brian Sonny DeFernandez is our producer. You can find us on Reddit, MaximumFun.reddit.com. You can find us on Twitter at Jesse Thorne at Jordan underscore Morris.
Starting point is 01:01:37 Hashtag your tweets. Hashtag JJGo. And we love you all very much. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Essigel. go and we love you all very much we'll talk to you next time on jordan dissey go maximumfund.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported

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