Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 713: Critical Taint Theory with Sierra Katow

Episode Date: November 21, 2021

Sierra Katow (The Sex Lives of College Girls) joins Jordan and Jesse to talk about the rare but deadly perineum infection haunting Jesse's thoughts, the breath and depth of topics in Minion memes, an...d the new HBO Max show that Sierra is in - The Sex Lives of College Girls.Have Jordan sign a copy of Bubble for the holidays!And please VOTE for Bubble in the 2021 Goodreads Awards!Check out Pee Wee Herman on KCRW on Friday Nov 26th at 6pm PST!

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Give a little time for the child within you Don't be afraid to be young and free Undo the locks and throw away the keys And take off your shoes and socks and run you It's Jordan, Jesse Go I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart Jordan Morris, boy, detective Jordan, I'm going to be frank with you
Starting point is 00:00:19 Because the only We've been friends for a long time I don't want to lie to you or deceive you. I just want to be... That's one of the deadly sins, right? Yeah. I mean... As dictated to us by Christ, the Lord.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Can I just say one thing about that, Jordan? Thank God, man upstairs, that you are not my neighbor, because all I do is covet your wife. All I do is covet your wife, Jordan, all day and night. At least you're not lying anymore. At least you're not about to, you know, spoon feed me some of, you know, the devil's pudding. That's what I call lies. Lies are nothing but Satan's pudding, mother would always say.
Starting point is 00:01:09 Lies truly are a lumpy pudding. Not in a nice way, like a rice pudding, but like a pudding that's gone off. Right, yeah. Like a weird film on it. Yeah. So what I'm trying to say is this. But we'll work on the coveting later.
Starting point is 00:01:27 I'm pretty fucked up right now. I'm a fucking disaster area. I was watching the television show Shark Week. Mm-hmm. I mean Shark Tank. Shark Tank. Yeah. Shark Week is a variety of shows.
Starting point is 00:01:44 It's not one program. It is a week dedicated to various shark programs, which ones can swim faster than Michael Phelps. Tara Reid is involved. Shark Tank. Shark Tank is a show where people who have a hard time moving their faces make a person with an invention cry. Right. I definitely had a little Shark Tank phase not too long ago.
Starting point is 00:02:19 And this is like height of pandemic. You know, you're just doing whatever you need to do to get comfort. So I would put on a Shark Tank and I would play, I would put the Shark Tank on the TV and I would play Nintendo Switch and kind of like switch my focus. And for some reason, that did it for me. Great. Couldn't tell you why. I am not interested in starting a business, nor do I think the rich are cool. No.
Starting point is 00:02:47 You seem awful. I cannot. This is the first time I'd ever seen the show. I was like, gosh, these people seem horrible. I couldn't tell you. I like Robert okay. There's one shark that I think is pretty nice. His name is Robert.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Oh, and I like Lori, the queen of QVC. I think she has some fun moments and i do like it when they're like real mean to a tech bro i think that is fun like someone who wants to disrupt something with an app sometimes they'll like fuck with them that's yeah it's not it's not as fun when it's just like oh this woman invented a bath bomb and has six kids like that's not as much fun but like really giving it to like a soylent type guy that's a lot of fun anyway you know what sorry you know what i wouldn't mind being disrupted with an app drink service like if they brought if they brought the you know the crab dip right while the drink service was also going out.
Starting point is 00:03:45 It would be fine with me. I could wait for my drink for a minute if I got early access. Oh, you're doing an app appetizer thing. Yeah. Cool. So I'm nothing if not cool, Jordan. Cool, man. Anyone who's heard this show knows that.
Starting point is 00:03:58 That's true. App is short for appetizer. Cool, man. I thought you were going to have, like, instead of asking the waiter for, like, a refill, you would poke it. The app would be called, like, can I get another iced tea? Yeah. I was watching this show.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Yeah, track day. Yeah, my child got interested in it. So on CNBC, on the CNBC network, network which is a business network they have a lot of advertisements for old white men that to benefit old things of interest to old white men so what are we talking catheters we're talking hair loss solutions i'm glad you mentioned catheters yeah the thing that fucked me up and i haven't been able to deal with it emotionally i haven't been able to work through it i'm thinking about whether i need to do trauma-informed therapy is a disc it was a drug advertisement i believe it was a drug for diabetes and this
Starting point is 00:04:58 you know there's a part where a different announcer comes on and says the side effects. Mm-hmm. And one of the side effects that this woman, who had a beautiful, sonorous voice, said was a rare but deadly infection of the perineum, which is the taint. Mm-hmm. And now all I can think about is... Colloquially known as the taint they would they didn't say that in the commercial right you're just no they did and then they explained
Starting point is 00:05:30 for it tainted the balls and it tainted the butthole and known as the gooch in some regions i thought i called it chode for a while. That was a couple years ago. That was a few years ago on the show. So, I don't know. It's not... So, you're preoccupied with the thought of what if you get one of these rare and deadly taint infections? I am basically like Aaron Rodgers is worried about his heart exploding or whatever
Starting point is 00:06:07 right i'm now off all medication i'll never take medication again in case of deadly taint infection right i'll never even i'm not even gonna leave the fucking house jordan yeah A deadly taint infection? I mean, that's a king's death, though. What a way to go. I'm hoping for taint infection or killed on a water slide. Those are... Either of those I'm fine with. Something where people kind of have to
Starting point is 00:06:39 stifle laughter at my funeral. I think that's great. If you died on the water slide, would you bleed out or break your neck? Oh, I think I would get caught. Like a chicken. I would get caught and be face down or something. And just drown. So you would drown?
Starting point is 00:06:54 In a little bit of water park water, yeah. So you would be able to escape drowning in a... Wow. Yeah. They don't got sharks in there? No're thinking of shark tank on cnbc that's where the sharks are uh our guest on the program is a uh stand-up comic she's a comedy writer and now a comedy actor i mean she was always a comedy actor but now probably it's moved to the top of the resume because she's on a big
Starting point is 00:07:27 deal television program called the sex lives of college girls created by someone named Mindy Kaling. I don't know who this person is, but people seem to like this person. Uh, Sarah Cotter. How are you? Hey,
Starting point is 00:07:42 I'm good. It's nice to have you back on the program. We appreciate seeing you here. I'm sorry that I've upset you permanently. From the rare and deadly taint infection news. How rare could it be for it not to be the number one issue in America right now? Right. Like presidential elections.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Why are people talking about CRT? Critical race theory. Sure. Critical taint theory. CT. CT. Sierra, do you watch Shark Tank or any other kind of like comparable reality show? Do you have any other, like, do you have like a background reality show that you watch?
Starting point is 00:08:26 Sure, you bet. I mean, I did watch a lot of Shark Tank. I also I mean, I've seen lots of tears on that show. Yeah, I think it's it's always very heartbreaking. But I would say yeah, I haven't probably seen as many of the people we want to see cry cry. I see a lot of Yeah, I see a lot of small, you know, small business types cry. And that is sad, but I enjoy seeing, I have seen one guy panic. Like he,
Starting point is 00:08:52 I think it was like a stackable Tupperware guy. And he was kind of like the tech bro of stackable Tupperware. If that makes sense. Uh, and he, he's disrupting Tupperware. Yeah. He was really,
Starting point is 00:09:03 yeah. This man is disrupting stackable containers. I mean, to be fair, they're perfect for apps. Sure, yeah, you're right. There is an app for that, you know? You have a couple extra Southwest Egg rolls you want to have tomorrow. I mean, yes, this guy had, yeah, he had almost everyone in, and then he, like, wouldn't make make a decision and they all slowly backed out.
Starting point is 00:09:28 It was shocking. The thing that upset me about the show, and again, I've seen it a time, but I know its reputation as well, is that the lesson of the show seems to be we need to be better for the rich, not there should be broader access to capital. Right. Yeah, I mean, I think at its core, you could tell what is wrong with our failing society. Right, it's just, yeah, it's a show advertising things that they are already going to own.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Like, it's, yeah, it's just capitalism layered in many ways. Yeah. There was a part on the one that I watched where a young woman was just fresh out of NYU and she had invented a date paste. Not a paste for dating. Right. But a paste of dates. Like something you would have instead of peanut butter or something like that. Well, it's lower calorie than nut butters.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Okay. And it's a miracle food. One of the guys, this guy with this weird collar on his shirt. Sounds like you're drinking the date Kool-Aid, Jesse. Geez. I'd love a date Kool-aid that sounds nice i usually have fruit punch but so you ever been to date country by the way this isn't it we're just i know i'm just getting into dates here i'll get it back into what happened on this television show but you know how if you go out to the dinosaurs from peewee's big, there's just a place where all the restaurants only serve date-based foods?
Starting point is 00:11:07 Yes. Yeah, that's all. Just if anybody's in Southern California, it's just something to check out. It's like watching the leaves change in Vermont. That's a strange little regional trend is, yeah, places that advertise the date shake. Yeah, only date shakes. So anyway, this woman was selling date products. She was fresh out of NYU.
Starting point is 00:11:24 only date shakes so anyway this woman was selling date products she's fresh out of nyu and um someone asked her rather pointedly uh if she only had a hundred thousand dollars in sales how how is she living in new york and she said well she she rather sheepishly said well my my father's helping me and then this woman made her cry because she wasn't desperate enough wanted her to be more desperate right and the woman who made her cry couldn't move her face above her lip line below her lip line moved above her lip line didn't and i thought i don't think i want advice on how i should be more poor from this person. Right. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:12:09 I think, so Shark Tank, once in a while, will do, like, a theme week. You know? They did, like, kids. Shark Week. Yeah, they do. Yeah, Shark Tank will do a week. And then, yeah, then all ideas by sharks, the fish. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:28 It's a special laxative in case you swallow a barrel of nails. A whole barrel, huh? Yeah, yeah. Isn't that like classic when they cut open the shark? It's a license plate. There's a barrel of nails? I've heard barrel of nails. License plate, obviously, is a classic. Yeah, sure. A grouper, maybe. It's a barrel of nails? I've heard barrel of nails. License plate obviously is a classic.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Yeah, sure. A grouper maybe? I think they should do Dick Week. Where we agree upon... By the way, welcome to Dick Week on Jordan and Jesse Go.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Jordan and Jesse Go go where every week is dick week not to be confused with taint week no every other week and we're just bringing awareness to CTT yeah we all have a brown ribbon
Starting point is 00:13:23 that we wear the color of shit where the taint is near Yeah, we all have a brown ribbon that we wear. The color of shit. Where the taint is near. So Shark Tank, they should have dick week. Where they agree, we have a metric on what is a dick. I mean, and I don't know. I mean, is it like, you know, just like a guy who still has the macklemore haircut or whatever like we take we find someone who's interested in
Starting point is 00:13:53 business sure yeah who thinks they should be there right yes someone who walks into a room and feels they belong right is that what you're saying, Sierra? Sure, yeah. I mean, honestly, that's a good cutoff. Yeah. And then, yeah, and then we just, and then we can just enjoy the, like, schadenfreude of it all and not feel bad that, you know,
Starting point is 00:14:18 a guy put his life savings into some sort of, like, T-ball helper. Yeah. Like something that helps T-ball players? Yeah, like some sort of like t-ball helper you know yeah like something that helps t-ball players yeah like some sort of like i feel like that's a big category on that it's like a dad who like quits to like have some sort of kids sporting device like some sort of like you know soccer tent or something i don't know yeah There was a woman who was mad at a motocross guy because he didn't know how to scale his dirt cleanser. It's a dirt that you use to cleanse. Scaling's important.
Starting point is 00:14:57 I know. You don't have to tell me. I got some scaling on my tent right now that I'm very concerned about. Oh, boy. on my taint right now that I'm very concerned about. Sierra, on your new TV show, it has college in the title.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Do you play a college student? Oh, you bet I do. Yes, I am. Me and many of the, I would say most of us are, yeah, not college age, playing college age, as many do in television.
Starting point is 00:15:24 But there are some younger, you know, younger people, I would say, who are probably more in their, like, early, you know, early 20s or 20, playing 18. And you're buying them beer, right? Yeah, like, come on, kids. Just say the word. I'll go to the 7-Eleven. But yes, it is. It's mostly, you know, us in our later 20s playing. I don't know. I think I'm an upperclassman, supposedly. Oh, yeah. Well, so.
Starting point is 00:15:50 You know. Yeah. If you're a junior. Yeah, I'm a junior. Some kind of junior or something. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, kids, I get it.
Starting point is 00:15:58 The college you go to in the show, is it similar or dissimilar to the actual college that you went to? Oh, yes. the show is it similar or dissimilar to the actual college that you went to oh yes so what's really fun about the show and the character i play is very much who i was in college in some ways i mean exaggerated but the the college is fictional in the show it's called essex college um haha because sex oh yeah sure hell yeah hell yeah got him yeah good uh yeah. Got him. Yeah. That's good. So, yeah. So, Essex College.
Starting point is 00:16:27 But it's, I think, based on, so Mindy Kaling went to, like, Dartmouth. Justin Noble, the other creator, went to Yale. So, I feel like it's kind of based on these sort of northeastern Ivy League schools. I did go to Harvard. So, I did kind of live through that. You don't have to explain it, Sierra. We get it. We went to UC Santa Cruz. Yes. There you go the same harvard of central california
Starting point is 00:16:50 except for csu monterey bay and stanford i guess true so yes it is you know we all get it. But yeah, it is like makes fun of the pretentiousness, I think of those and like, all that. And I play a very preppy girl. Is it an actually pretentious context? I don't know anything. I don't know anything about Northeastern universities. Other than my wife went to Sarah Lawrence College. I think that's a sui generis situation. Admissions are based on specific subtypes of lesbianism at Sarah Lawrence. So that, I don't think it applies to other, you know, I don't think you can extend that to Amherst or whatever.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Yeah, I mean, what sort of the vibe? I don't think you can extend that to Amherst or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what sort of the vibe? Well, what did you expect and what did it end up being like? Totally. I think, yeah, I expected. So I'm from outside of LA, basically kind of California my whole life. Didn't really know what to expect other than obviously like it gets colder over there. Sure.
Starting point is 00:18:03 You need a coat, right? Yeah, I need a coat that's not made here. A light jacket for the fall, yeah. Right. And then, but yeah, no, I would say, I mean, I guess it's like the East Coast mentality felt a little stronger there. It was definitely like people being like,
Starting point is 00:18:14 oh, I'm from this family or like wanting to share that, you know, like, okay, the Shark Tank girl who didn't want to say her dad was paying for New York, like everyone says oh they paying for me you know like i think it's it's not as much of a a hidden thing i think everybody likes to be like i came from this family i do this for when people say they came from this family really i mean in so many words i think sometimes their last name is already, you know, something. R.B. Kennedy. Yeah, Weinstein.
Starting point is 00:18:47 No, I'm just kidding. Epstein. No, it's all really. Original Epstein R.B.s. Yes, R.B.s. Yeah. The third. Not to be confused.
Starting point is 00:18:57 Yeah, exactly. So I think, yeah, that's, it's probably a little bit more. And maybe that's just, you know, the beginning when people are trying to kind of make an impression with people and who knows who they're talking to, right? But what was your cultural cohort at in university? You were what? You were into fish, right? PH fish? Oh, yes. Right. My my club fish club. No, we were basically I don't know. I mean, I guess I like I did stand up in college. I was very interested in comedy. I also studied computer science, but I was probably more into the comedy scene. So I had a lot of friends who were doing stand-up. I had a lot of friends who were interested in improv, stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Yeah, I was curious. I was also wanting to kind of ask that. Did Harvard have a comedy scene? Yeah, it did. Well, okay, a couple things. Boston's right there. So there was like a bunch of comedy clubs. The comedy studio is in Harvard Square.
Starting point is 00:19:50 And I think it moved to Somerville. But it's like, you know, it was a place that I could get up pretty easily near campus. And then we had a little stand club, Harvard Stand-Up Comic Society. Shout out. And then, I mean, the Lampoon was the main probably historically relevant thing. Oh, right. There were a few people writing for the Simpsons. Sure, sure. Yeah. I mean, we had a lot of kids of Simpsons writers. Yeah, a lot of people who were interested in that. So I did, I was a part of the Lampoon and I was a part of, you know,
Starting point is 00:20:18 like, it's mainly a social club, I would say, but like we did, we put out a magazine that we read, at least. So you did stand up even before you went to college, right? I did. Yeah, I did some in high school. So I was kind of, you know, I knew I wanted to do that. And it was kind of like, well, I could be near Boston, that'd be great. But yeah, there's stuff on campus. I opened for the Wushu club, sometimes the sword team. the wushu club sometimes the uh sword team you know sometimes they wanted a warm-up comic material no i think i tried to maybe uh you know it's hard because sometimes you know if i was following wushu club maybe i could comment on it but opening for wushu club i don't want to step
Starting point is 00:20:58 on their territory you know yeah when i was in middle school we had a tai chi class When I was in middle school, we had a Tai Chi class. And, you know, I mean, it was about as interesting as you would think a Tai Chi class for middle schoolers would be to middle schoolers, you know, who were not. But our teacher was a very nice man. And he'd teach us our Tai Chi forms and everything. And I can still, you know, if you need me to hold the teabag, I can hold the teabag. But one day, I don't know, it feels like a gym day where you're in the basement because it's raining. But obviously, you already do Tai Chi in the basement, so I don't know why it was a special day. He was like, you know, when I'm not teaching Tai Chi to middle schoolers in Hillsborough, I mostly run like a Wushu studio.
Starting point is 00:21:51 And he brought in a VHS tape of his Wushu studio. And it was so fucking bananas. I've been mad ever since that he was teaching us Tai Chi. I'm like, you could have been teaching us how to do back flips holding halberds, and you fucking taught us to hold the teabag, you fucking asshole. Holding the teabag is really essential to find out if you have CTT, by the way. If that teabag drops, you are screwed. It's a preventative measure.
Starting point is 00:22:27 I mean, Sierra, as tough as it is to try and do comedy in front of the Wushu Club, just be glad that you didn't have to follow the Wushu Club. That's where you really don't want to be. Nothing can follow them. I mean, yeah, it's quite a spectacle. And I hope they're still Wushuing to this day. That would be nice. It'd be good to know. They stuck together like, well, we went to college. Traveled together. Yeah. We did the wushu circuit for a little bit. There's festivals, you know, you end up having to stay in somebody's three car garage or whatever.
Starting point is 00:23:03 But it's worth it. Yeah. But it's, you know, it's cool in somebody's three-car garage or whatever. Right. But it's worth it. Yeah. But it's, you know, it's cool. It's fun. You meet other people who are into wushu. Sure. You trade weapons. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:13 I feel like I have gotten wind that Santa Cruz maybe has a little comedy scene now. I think when we were in, like, when we were in college, college like our improv and stuff was like dining hall based was like can we use a dining hall for a night i mean we we were in a the improv group that jordan and i were in started my freshman year and it was the only comedy thing at the whole college i think yeah and then like in town, sometimes Margaret Cho would come and play the old movie theater or something like that. There was a restaurant called The Crow's
Starting point is 00:23:52 Nest. Oh, right. Oh, The Crow's Nest. That had a weekly comedy night with some of the comics from San Jose who weren't working the San Jose improv that night. Gotcha. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Made the trip over the mountain. There were some Monterey comics probably as well. But yeah, but I think I feel like I've gotten the impression that maybe Santa Cruz has like a little comedy scene now. More than just the stripping improv group? Oh, yeah. They had a, yes, the one townie improv group, their gimmick was that they stripped when they would like make a mistake or something else.
Starting point is 00:24:28 But I think it was very PG-13. I think they were wearing nine layers of clothes. We were both in that for two weeks, right? Or were you in it longer? I feel like I was in it two weeks. I tried out and didn't get in. Really? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:42 I think I was in it for two weeks and then got kicked out. Yeah, my stripping was great. Improv. They're like, this guy's too sexy. He's gonna... Yeah, distract you. Yeah, we've got to come up with more games that involve playing
Starting point is 00:24:55 Pour Some Sugar On Me really loud. Right, yeah. Can I have a suggestion for a hair metal band? Ah, I heard Def Leppard. I heard Katy Perry's I Kissed a Girl. Got it. Okay, let's go. All right, yes.
Starting point is 00:25:09 These are all. Another scene about Genuine's Pony. It is a bit more provincial than Boston, Massachusetts. Our alma mater. I mean, it all, it sounds like it satisfies all the needs that, I think there's too much comedy maybe there's too much in other places
Starting point is 00:25:32 so it's good to have just enough. A place with like, yes, a place with an appropriate amount of comedy. Sierra, were you in other clubs? Like, did you do or is it just the one thing? You're just writing for The Simpsons.
Starting point is 00:25:47 It takes up all your time. The end. Right, yeah. You know, it did take up probably the most time, The Lampoon. But I was, you know, I did the stand-up club thing. I was probably doing, did I? For a little bit, I might have been in some computer science clubs. When are you doing a computer science club?
Starting point is 00:26:06 Well, what did I do? Well, clearly not enough. I have no idea. Full stack web development. I did. Yes, yes. I did. I wasn't one that they had like a speaker come.
Starting point is 00:26:18 So actually, Dustin Moskovitz. Is that right? The guy at the Facebook dude who did the. I don't know. It's him. You facebook dude who did the it's pronounced diamond dustin diamond r.i.p um yeah that that person uh you know employee number three or something at facebook he came and talked about you know his new startup which was like asana and i think it might still be what he works on anyway. So sometimes I would come like and speak to a few people about their life as, you know, entrepreneurs. So we would learn a little bit there.
Starting point is 00:26:54 And I guess you'd just be like hanging out with like pillows that were shaped like emojis. You know, I mean, it was very like innocent and like, you know, in the like, yeah, in the like building where the classes are held, they had, like, a little lounge area. So I think I did that for, like, a semester or two. But, yeah, I wasn't as active in that in the academics, let's say. I got, yeah. I once got invited to speak at Facebook. This was, like, when I was an entrepreneur, like a respected in my industry. And they invited me to speak. It
Starting point is 00:27:31 was very nice of them to invite me to speak. And I was living here in Los Angeles and was, the peak of my respectability was close to the nadir of my incomes. I was barely getting by and got invited to speak at Facebook, and I sent them an email. I was like, well, yeah, I mean, do you cover travel and stuff like that? And they're like, well, we thought maybe you could do it. I know you're from the Bay Area. Maybe when you're home to visit your family or whatever.
Starting point is 00:28:00 And I was like, oh, okay. And I was like, well, what? Maybe you can do it. Maybe you can stay with Judy. And then you're like, this is too familiar for a business email then i was like well well what well does it like what is it does it pay or like what is it because i'd have to like take a few days off work to come up to do this you know like i have a job and everything is we actually have a policy of not paying speakers we've talked about we've discussed this we've decided no we're worried it might bias them yeah they pay you in that they pay you in minion memes stickers we won't give you money
Starting point is 00:28:46 but we will give you disinformation about public health it is really amazing just what kind of shit gets put on a picture of a minion it is it is it is wild by the way send us our
Starting point is 00:29:02 peabody now because we got to the core of this issue go ahead jordan uh yes cool take facebook has a lot of minion shit but the the craziest one i the one that i still think about um you know just when i'm watching shark tank and playing switch is you know you know it's so the the baseline one is like oh it's a minion's like, you know, don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. It's just like, you know, something. Does a minion have a coffee cup? Or is he mad?
Starting point is 00:29:32 Can minions be mad? No. So this one, minions can be mad, I think. I think maybe they're more, I think their general air is kindly and helpful. But like, they're goofballs, helpful goofballs. They're doofs. They're like doofs, right? They run into each other a lot.
Starting point is 00:29:50 Sure, yeah. Are they ever pregnant like Shrek? Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm going to go ahead and guess yes. It's like a wild guess. Are they ever pregnant by Shrek? Again. Oh, you know, that's different because Shrek is DreamWorks.
Starting point is 00:30:06 Okay, thank you. Shrek cannot impregnate. Can't go into illumination territory. No, yeah, you don't want to run afoul of illumination. Shrek can only impregnate How to Train Your Dragon or something. Yeah, Shrek can impregnate the trolls. He can impregnate... What are the other DreamWorks properties? Kung Fu Panda. There you go. Yeah. Impregnate the trolls. He could impregnate.
Starting point is 00:30:28 What are the other DreamWorks properties? Kung Fu Panda. There you go. Yeah. So the craziest one I ever saw was a minion. He's holding like a sign. He's holding like a hitchhiker sign. And it says, I'll give you some dick. if you suck dick.
Starting point is 00:30:47 So he's, the minion, the minion is hitchhiking. Hold on, Jordan. Wow. There's a lot of sexualizing of these minions. Yeah. The minion is hitchhiking.
Starting point is 00:30:59 So he's asking for a ride, but he also thinks he's going to get his dick sucked. So like he's paying for a ride but he also thinks he's gonna get his dick sucked so like he's paying for the ride by getting his dick sucked no i think it was i think it's just an informal pull curious about on the street corner like so he is not actually hitchhiking allies right he was just curious about you know know, sexual habits. Because the other possibility is maybe he's not looking to get his dick sucked. Maybe he's just looking for kinship.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Right. Like he likes to suck dick and he's looking to ride with somebody else who also likes to suck dick. Sure. So they can talk about what they like about it. Yeah. Yeah. Like it feels right. Common ground to start at
Starting point is 00:31:45 and then work their way from there into other topics. Yeah, it's like catching a ride with somebody who also is into fish, you know? Yeah. So at least you have common ground and that's how you bridge the gap between the two Americas.
Starting point is 00:32:01 Beautiful. We need a little bit more of that. I think so. Thank you. If you ask me, we need a little bit more of that. I think so. Thank you. We need a little bit more of that. And a little less CTT. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Well said. Yeah, thank you. Jordan, how's it going with you, buddy? I'm doing good. I i well i think i kind of blew it this week thank you for being frank with me it's what i expect of you yeah um so i went to i went to i went to new york for a wedding hadn't been to new york in years jordan when you say blew it you're talking about a minion no god i wish stewart call me you have my number i know you're busy
Starting point is 00:32:53 it's like i'm sorry i keep bumping into other minions and falling right i don't have time to call right keep getting blown up by circular bombs um so i was in new york and you know like obviously like i want to do it all you know i want to i want to do it all i want to see it all you know i want to want to want to take in you know everything i want to i'm going to squeeze the juice from that big, beautiful Gotham, you know? Sure. The big lemon. Juice it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:30 I want to go to Jelini's for the goobalagetsa, you know. Hey, I'm meeting at Jelini's here. Yeah, give me another spoonful of the goobalagetsa. Hey, bring me one of your egg drinks. Sure. But I ended up not leaving the hotel room. Really? I just stayed in the hotel room and I didn't leave.
Starting point is 00:34:01 And I think it was just because I was too afraid of impractical jokers. I know, that is a big problem in New York City. Yeah, I was too afraid that I'd be in line for a dog or some chestnuts or something. And the next thing you know, Q and Murr are squeezing my buns. I don't need that. Q and Murr are squeezing my buns. I don't need that. So you said,
Starting point is 00:34:30 it made sense that you were waiting in line for hot nuts. Yeah. When you said you were waiting in line for a dog, 100% I thought you were going to get a dog. Yeah. Stop the dog. Yeah, yeah. Stop a dog. Stop.
Starting point is 00:34:40 But there's a line. There's a line for everything in New York. Yeah, sure. This is my question about staying in the hotel room the entire time. Yeah. The last time I was in a hotel was 18 months ago. It was the beginning of the pandemic. And it was the most desperately sad place I've ever been in my life.
Starting point is 00:35:02 I mean, just a nightmare of bleak set. It was a nice hotel. You got a good deal on it on hot wire, but just desperately, you know, downtown San Francisco, completely empty hotel, completely empty.
Starting point is 00:35:16 No one working there. No one's staying there. And while what I should have done is like gone out in the hallway and used a room service tray as a surfboard and surfed down all the stairs or something like that. That'd have been fun. Instead, what I did was sort of gaze into the middle distance and think about the futility of existence. Right. So that was my classic hotel experience, which involves watching whatever television show is the most embarrassing that you like with impunity just as much as you want? Watch it over and over and over because no one's there to know that you like that show.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Masturbating a few times and maybe eating Eggs Benedict at some point. Right. No, let's see. I did actually leave the hotel room. It was a pretty busy trip. But the TV watching I did in the room...
Starting point is 00:36:19 You know, this TV was a little more modern. It had an on-demand section. So I watched recent Simpsons. Oh, wow. Instead of old Simpsons, which is what I usually watch. But I'm like, the on-demand ones are a little more recent. Yeah. What was that like?
Starting point is 00:36:36 Were they a little off the wall? Yeah. But I mean, it's funny. It's the funniest show. Was it like the one where they're in like cyberspace oh yeah right all 3d animated yeah i think they go i don't listen i don't need to honestly talk about this instance here that's i but yeah but i think that you know the stereotype is that it got really crazy but i think they get kind of real you know they i think they go back
Starting point is 00:37:02 and forth but how crazy they're making it and i think there are some that are like uh like kind of super earnest and about emotional stuff like in recent seasons as opposed to like you know what if homer becomes a ninja or something like that so have they done a wushu have they done a wushu plotline because i would enjoy that i feel like lisa would do the wushu though. Totally. You wouldn't have Homer do it. Have Lisa do it. She's a try hard. Sierra, did you have to go somewhere to film this TV show or did you do it in LA?
Starting point is 00:37:33 Right here. Right here. Yeah. A little bit in Pasadena. Ooh. That's where I live now. Thank God Pasadena came up on this show. Yeah. Pasadena you say Our guest last week Sierra was this little old lady You would love her
Starting point is 00:37:50 Nobody mean her Nobody mean her Little old lady from Pasadena Oh that's interesting That that was like what The Southern California stand in For the East Coast was Like oh we want to make this an East Coast thing,
Starting point is 00:38:05 so, like, let's try a Pasadena. There was, yeah, it was, like, an interior, I think. But, yeah, a lot was on the stage in the Warner Brothers studios, I think. And, like, I mean, and then they did do some exteriors out East, but I wasn't, I didn't have to go. So, I think it was, like,
Starting point is 00:38:21 I think they went to, I wasn't invited. But, yes, it was, I think they went to, I wasn't invited, but yes, it was, I think they shot a lot of exteriors at Vassar college. That makes sense. That's one of them. You were like a indoor kid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:33 I, my character agoraphobic. Sure. Cannot leave, cannot leave the door. Part of the plot. Um, but yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Um, this is kind of interesting. I've been to, and I don't know if you guys are experiencing this or not, but like a little bit of a wedding deluge just because of all the like postponed weddings. So it's kind of like we're getting, you know, like a year and a half worth of weddings. Yeah. And I've been to two. We have a family wedding at the end of the year that I'm going to try and go to.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Everybody in the family. Yeah, everyone in the family is getting married. It's a cult thing. May the circle be unpressured. We're all going to drink some cyanide-laced date Kool-Aid afterwards. I just love going to them. I think they're so much fun It's nice to believe in love
Starting point is 00:39:28 It's nice to have an open bar But neither of the wedding dance playlists Included Don't Stop Believin' And I was happy for that Can you dance to Don't Stop Believin'? No, I think you just kind of like sway around and yell and you like put your arm around oh yeah sway you sway yeah it's there's
Starting point is 00:39:54 it's a it's a sway song i'd like i'd like to go to a wedding that's only songs that drunk white people like to sing really loud that are not like it's it's just don't stop believing sweet caroline i can't think of any other examples do whites know any other songs those are the two jordan we're white what do we know uh you know what really at both of them i what i was surprised really killed and i'm oh, this has been kind of folded into, you know, like the pop canon. Party in the USA fucking blew up at both of them. Yeah. I mean, that's a great song.
Starting point is 00:40:32 That's sort of what it has going for it. Yeah. Yeah. I was surprised at that. Oh. Sierra, what gets you on the floor at a wedding? What's your rock solid bet? What's your kiss by Prince?
Starting point is 00:40:48 Hmm. I mean, that party in the USA, that is a good call. I would say, I'm trying to think of something in that area. Well, you know what I do like, though? Like even just like a Frank Sinatra or something, you know, like New York or something. I feel like they play that at weddings and that's kind of fun. And it's like, oh, I'm in New York.
Starting point is 00:41:09 I'm not, but you know. You're somewhere else. Hey, I'm dancing here. Yeah, I'm dancing. Mer's grabbing my buns. Yeah, just one of the impractical things. All the big New York references come to mind. But yeah, I don't know something that i do like about visiting the east coast is that you will go into a store and the store will be playing billy joel
Starting point is 00:41:36 i think that's something that white people like to sing along to is billy joel songs oh yeah sure yeah like most of them right i mean the this that this that this that this that song you know you know the one i'm talking about where he lists all the things oh we didn't start the fire yeah this that this and that and this it was only this except when it was that. Classy. That song is the one. It's got a whole part where you just go. Right?
Starting point is 00:42:13 Is that Bob and Stuart, the Minions? The Minions sing Billy Joel. What if Billy Joel invented the Minions? Wouldn't that be great? Ba-ba-ba-boo-ba-na-na. Yeah. Excuse me. I have a million fucking dollars to make. I'll see you assholes later.
Starting point is 00:42:35 I got an album to record. Hello, is this Jib Jab? This is former podcaster Jordan Morris. Yeah. And then at the end, everybody starts honking because they love to suck dick this podcaster turned billionaire jordan morris just let it sink in what a good idea it is jordan are are there any guarantees that, because you go to a lot of weddings. I've been to like three, I've been to three weddings, 75% of my friends' weddings.
Starting point is 00:43:09 You're not married yet, Jordan. As soon as you get married, that'll be four out of four. You know, you, I've been to Brian's wedding. I've been to Ben Harrison's wedding. There's a few weddings I've been to, but that's about it. You travel in much broader social circles than I, and you're known as a fun guy. So you get invited to a lot of weddings. What gets you on the floor for a wedding? Don't like to dance. Don't want to do it. I want to lean against the bar and take off my jacket and roll up my sleeves and talk to an uncle about what he does.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Don't want to dance. Someone's got to do it. Someone has to play that role. When I was a wedding DJ's assistant in Washington, D.C., I learned about this thing called beach music, which in Washington, among whites in Washington, D.C. specifically, there is this cultural thing where like people go to, maybe it's Newport News? There's beaches in the Carolinas and Virginia?
Starting point is 00:44:17 I'm out of my territory here, so people are already composing angry letters. But they go to these kind of semi-southeastern beaches, places that are north of Georgia and south of Washington, D.C. This is like where people have, where people go on summer vacation, you know, go on spring break, these kinds of things. And then there's all these people who go, there's a sub-genre of music that I think probably faded now.
Starting point is 00:44:48 But there's a sub-genre of music called beach music, which is like faded R&B stars who just play this circuit that's from Washington, D.C. to like northern Georgia and back along the coastline playing songs that you shag to, which is a dance from like 19. It's like if there was an entire subculture built around doing the locomotion. Sure. Yeah. Walking the dinosaur. Like it is really. And what would happen is you'd be playing like or, you know, I was the assistant. I mostly carried the records. But, you know, once in a while, the DJ would be in the bathroom, or I would be helping the DJ. And he'd be playing, you know, whatever, Crazy in Love or something like that. a dad in a polo shirt and shorts at the wedding right would would come up just like a silver fox white guy like a handsome 60 year old man who looks like he lives at a golf course um would
Starting point is 00:45:54 come up and he'd be like can you please play something we can shag too can you please play some beach music can you please play some beach music i Can you please play some beach music? I'm like, the Ventures? Like, what the fuck is that? They're like, no, General Johnson from the chairman of the board performing Let's Shag Again, 1988. That's the other thing.
Starting point is 00:46:19 It's all these classic soul guys recording these songs on Casio keyboards in 1988 because they don't have the budget you know what i mean these guys are touring solo that's all i got about beach music it's just a weird thing sounds like a good lifestyle yeah it does kind of sound i think it is probably a lifestyle and i do like i do like hearing about like the kind of regional music trends and like the fact that like something weird that is out of pop culture at large still thrives somewhere. It's like the band from Animal House. Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:46:56 Yeah, yeah. If you're like, what is going on here? Why are they all talking about this R&B band from 15 years earlier? That's what beach music is, writ large. Yeah. Writ medium. I was so disheartened when the lead singer of Smash Mouth had his meltdown because I was so like,
Starting point is 00:47:19 and it was like at an appropriately Smash Mouth-y place to play. It was at like a food and wine festival in denver or something like that and uh yeah i don't know i feel like you know obviously they're they're they're a frequent punchline on this show a frequent you know a free a a a as memed as a band can get but like it seemed like oh these guys are having fun with this they they're leaning in and hey like how fucking fun must it be to get to travel the world and just go to like food and wine festivals? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:51 Play for 30 minutes. You're bringing people together. You're bringing together minions. Shrek. All you have to do is play All-Star. How to Train Your Dragon. Right. They all meet in the middle at the Smash Mouth song all-star.
Starting point is 00:48:05 How to Train Your Dragon and Shrek, not the Minions, Jesse. You don't want to anger Illumination Entertainment. That's why they're coming. That's why they're being brought together by Smash Mouth, Jordan. Only Smash Mouth. Cinderella. The Cinderella from Cinderella 2, not the original Cinderella. This is straight to VHS, Cinderella 2.
Starting point is 00:48:23 That's the Cinderella that comes. Original Cinderella's dead. She's long dead. Oh, no. Wow. Yeah. The Cinderella from Cinderella 2. I mean, she's getting up there,
Starting point is 00:48:33 but she still parties. Yeah. I mean, if Smash Mouth is coming, she's going to be there. She brings the blow, too. Wow. Anyway, I was bummed when it happened.
Starting point is 00:48:44 I hope that, you know know i hope that the smash mouth dude kiss was the song finds the finds the help he needs kiss was the song that brought everybody together at the weddings 20 years ago now oh yeah 15 years ago uh and you know crazy in love is still that song single ladies is still that um but i feel like what happened is we have now gotten to the point where the people who are pumped about motown hits are too old uh to cut a rug they're now 75 instead of 60 you know what i mean yeah and there's no there's no replacing that you can't replace that with we didn't start the fire yeah Yeah. Hup-a-dup-a-dup-a-dup-a-dup-a-dup-a-dup. Yeah, it's just someone saying this and that.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Yeah, it's the longest. Hard to remember. The first verse is this and that. The second verse is hup-a-dup-a-dup-a-dup-a-dup-a-dup. I did go to, and I don't know if the people whose wedding it was actually remember this but i did go to one wedding at the exact right moment where the fucking dance floor filler was gangnam style yeah it was like right at the right time and like gangnam style comes on everybody loses their shit yeah i mean there's nothing wrong with there's a reason that song broke international borders. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:06 Because it's fun. Fun song. Guy's got his own little outfit. You know what I mean? Distinctive outfit. Yeah, people need to do the galloping kind of dance. Yeah. So if you're not really a dancer, you're like, I can kind of do that. Or at least with the wrists.
Starting point is 00:50:19 Absolutely. You could do the wrists. Did you do the dance, Jordan? Oh. No, I bet I do the dance, Jordan? Oh. No, I bet I did the dance. Good for you. I'm proud of you, buddy. I don't remember.
Starting point is 00:50:31 I'm going to say, for the purpose of this conversation, I did the dance, and I was fucking great. I mean, you know how to Macarena. There's a new Macarena song that's a hit song where you still do the Macarena. It's like a three-year-old song. Really? Yeah. It's the Macarena, but it's in Spanish, and it's a hit song where you still do the Macarena. It's like a three-year-old song. Really? Yeah. It's the Macarena, but it's in Spanish, and it's a new song, and they play it around my neighborhood when I'm driving past or walking past, and it's a big hit song.
Starting point is 00:50:58 And what they do is just the Macarena. You just do the Macarena again. It's just a new Macarena for the new generation, but it's the same old Macarena, but a little different. Wow, yeah. It's great. No original ideas. No, uh-uh. It's all fucking reboots, right?
Starting point is 00:51:14 The same dances. At the end of the day, to me, it just all comes down to, you know, a field hand with an acoustic guitar in the Mississippi Delta, 1924, singing the Macarena. Right. Robert Johnson's the Macarena. That guy had to sell his soul to the devil, but it was worth it. Because he got... Because he got... It's the same song. Wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:51:51 Billy Joel wrote the Macarena? No, man. He just got... He received it. Right. Okay. From the devil. It's that kind of song, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:02 None of us write the Macarena. We just hold the Macarena for the next generation yeah beautiful yeah hey I gotta do you wanna take a break
Starting point is 00:52:18 I gotta go drain the Macarena yeah I've been holding the Macarena for too long. I need to purge. Yeah. Jordan, can you do me a favor while you're out there? Can you put a little rubbing alcohol on your perineum? I don't want any infections down there.
Starting point is 00:52:35 Why did you say out there? Do you think I don't have a bathroom? Do you think I piss and shit outside? I figured you got a bucket or whatever. Or maybe even a hole. You were in the army. Nah, man.
Starting point is 00:52:50 I'm no queen of QVC. Can't afford a bucket. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, the listeners to our wonderful program. Sorry, I said wonderful program accidentally. Can we reset our terrible program? This garbage is brought to you by the kind people who are members of Maximum Fun, who've gone to MaximumFun.org slash join. It is also this week supported by the folks at Made In.
Starting point is 00:53:41 Jordan, you know what I have? I'm not bragging. It's just sort of how i roll carbon steel pan from made in made in make make cookware uh home homeware tableware is what they call it tableware pans knives wine glasses dishes that kind of thing and they make them at professional quality but at prices affordable to regular Joes like you and me, Jordan. Jesse, I got that same carbon steel pan. I love it. I use it basically every day. Made a little lemon pepper chicken before we went on the air, and it's fueling my
Starting point is 00:54:19 performance today. You sound like high performance. This is that time jose canseco uh put jet fuel in his porsche because it was knocking and pinging it's exactly like that uh here's what happens they source the finest materials and partner up with renowned craftsmen to make premium kitchen tools available directly to you without the markup. These things really, really are great. I think they would make a great holiday gift. Or if you're just looking to refresh your own personal kitchen, they have over 28,000 five-star reviews, and their products are used by some of the world's best chefs
Starting point is 00:54:56 at Michelin-starred restaurants around the world. Yeah, that's right. The real-life Michelin man uses made-in cookedware to cook his rubber sandwiches like the Michelin man eats. A nice hot rubber sandwich. Right now, Made In is offering our listeners 50% off your first order with promo code JJGO. This is the best discount available anywhere online for made-in products. Go to madeincookware.com and use promo code JJGO for 15% off your first order. That's madeincookware.com.
Starting point is 00:55:36 Use the promo code JJGO. It really is beautiful stuff. Who would not make those hot rubber sandwiches in a second-rate pan, Jordan? No way. It's gorgeous. It's gorgeous. It's gorgeous stuff. Beautiful, fully forged knives. Get yourself a Maida and eat some rubber.
Starting point is 00:55:51 That's our advice. We're also supported this week by Manscaped. Jordan, if your balls are out of control, you're going to need Manscaped. Whoa, whoa. I couldn't hear you, Jesse, over the sound of my balls going crazy. Manscaped is the leading men's hygiene brand. They've got some new products, including the ultra premium body wash and a two-in-one shampoo and conditioner. They do all kinds of stuff.
Starting point is 00:56:24 There's ball toner there's ball deodorant and there's of course the legend the the legend the absolutely legendary lawnmower their legendary product for for trimming for trimming the hairs on your sack product for trimming the hairs on your sack. Jesse, I've had so many sack injuries. I can't even count the sack injuries I've had, but zero since I've started using Manscaped. And I do use Manscaped personally. I like to do it. It's a lot of fun, and it makes the basement look impeccable.
Starting point is 00:57:03 And yeah, by basement, I mean ball zone. The bees. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code JJGO at manscaped.com. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use the code JJGO. Clean up your nuts and make Santa proud this year. Last year went really bad with you and Santa. That's funny because they suggested some copy where we talk about Santa, but we didn't use it.
Starting point is 00:57:31 So this Santa callback thing is really jarring. Ah, Santa, what are you talking about? I'm mad at you. Last year, your balls were too hairy. Get off my goddamn lap, Jordan. But Santa, look what I've done this year. I've been using Manscaped Santa. Looks great,
Starting point is 00:57:52 Jordan. Here's a train set. Wait a minute, you're Tim Allen. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love a second on jordan jesse go it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorn america's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And Sierra Cotto, CTT activist. Thank you. Thank you for raising awareness.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Yeah, there we go. Never forget. I'm here to spread the word, everybody. I poured a whole bottle of witch hazel onto a loofah and went to town during the break. Good. That's why I'm here. Yeah. To make sure that happens.
Starting point is 00:58:50 As Sierra so wisely reminded us, keep it clean down there. Keep it clean down there, yeah. Keep it clean down there. My shit's fresh. Short, sweet. It's part of the plan. Yeah. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:59:07 How can a taint, what part of your taint could even get infected how's that even possible it's rare but it's deadly yeah wait it's like saying you have an elbow infection what the fuck is because you're not keeping it clean down there what is uh Gwyneth Paltrow call your noni or something like that? Goop. Goop. Yeah, she doesn't get goop. Don't neglect the goop. So just so you know, Sierra, on our program, Jordan, Jesse, Go,
Starting point is 00:59:41 we have lots of recurring segments. People call into them, and we have so many of them that we have them tell us what segment they're calling into. It's not because we've never thought of any good segment ideas. And so we make them think of it. It's just, we just do have them let us know what segment they're calling in for. Just so that we know out of all the different stuff that, that we have thought of because of the work that we put into the show. Brian, do you want to play one of those calls?
Starting point is 01:00:10 Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jesse. Hey, Sunny D. Hey, guest. Is it Joe Firestone? I hope it's Joe Firestone. Anyway, I'm here with an entry in your famous recurring segment, That's What It's Called Now. I am in a master's program and today in
Starting point is 01:00:26 class my professor brought up the nike swoosh logo don't remember the exact context but was definitely referring to the nike swoosh but instead of saying nike swoosh he called it the nicey swish um did not correct himself but also did not say it again at any point so truly no clue if that's what he intended to say but uh the nicey swish that's what it's called now that's i mean you gotta put something down on the patent application. Yeah. You know, Coca-Cola has the dynamic ribbon. And Nike, of course, has the nicey swish. Yeah. That does sound like a knockoff that you get at the flea market. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:18 You know what the problem with graduate schools is, in my opinion? It makes me feel guilty just to have been born white you know this nicey swish stuff you know i'm talking about where are you going with this just our schools are teaching us critical taint theory and right yes exactly thank you um yes we're all proud of our viking heritage um yeah and i like that we have a i like that we have a theme of higher learning today on the show that's fun isn't it let's get jana jackson in here right or uh method man and red man yeah thank you there thank you very much. Famous movie, How High. Oh, right. That's what I meant.
Starting point is 01:02:07 In the movie, How High, did they have their own high school? No, it's a college movie. It's them going to college. Well, then why is it called How High? Jesse, because they're... They're so hot. Why isn't it called How College? Because it's a double entendre of marijuana use.
Starting point is 01:02:29 They don't use marijuana. They're professionals. Yeah. These guys got to write gags. No, but they use a false. It's a CGI joints. All the joints in Howe Hire CGI. Weta created them all. Jordan, I would never bow's a CGI joints. All the joints in How Hired CGI. Weta. Weta created them all.
Starting point is 01:02:47 Jordan, I would never bow to a false joint. Right. It's a good way to anger weed God. Again, back to the seven deadly sins. Everything's coming back today. Thou shalt not smoke a false joint yes thou shalt not
Starting point is 01:03:09 smoke a false joint thou shalt pass to the left I feel bad that the professor was probably embarrassed but maybe wanted to not call attention. But by not doing so, sometimes it makes it worse. I feel like these professors live in their fucking ivory towers.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Right. Hunting elephants so they can build more floors. And these assholes, all they do is they sit around watching PB fucking S, just watching the French cook with Julia Child all day long making fucking soufflés. They don't know anything about what normal people know about, like the dynamic ribbon and the Nike swish. Hey, if there's any SoundCloud rappers who need a name. Nicey swish. Nicey swish. Pretty good.
Starting point is 01:04:12 You could do a lot worse. That's great. All you need is nicey swish and a few triplets and you're set. There you go. You're fucking set in your SoundCloud rap career. Okay, when something momentous happens to you 206-9844-FUN or jjgoatmaximumfun.org are the ways to reach us for our segment momentous occasions sierra i got something to admit in the last segment we don't really think of those it's
Starting point is 01:04:38 just when people have something funny to tell us and they come up with a name for what it is but this thing we thought of i mean this is the one thing we thought of 14 years ago and have been doing ever since to diminishing returns. Go ahead and press play, Brian. Hey there, Jordan, Jesse and Brian and guests. I'm going to say Sydney McElroy because I like her a lot. Close. Busy.
Starting point is 01:05:04 She's a busy doctor. I'm Laura from Quebec City. She, her. And I'm calling in with a momentous occasion. So as of October 22nd, I have been on my hormone replacement theory. That's theory. What? Hormone replacement therapy.
Starting point is 01:05:22 Geez. For a full year. And it's one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself. And it feels great. And I want to share the love with all the other trans people listening. And love you. Happy Analogous. Happy Analogous. Happy Analogous.
Starting point is 01:05:45 All our best to you. They should not be teaching HRT in elementary schools. Right. I mean, I think, you know, thank you to the caller for sharing that great moment with us. Yeah. Wonderful vibes. Very happy. We're very proud.
Starting point is 01:06:00 Very happy. We're very proud. I do think she's probably a little bit embarrassed that when she said theory, she kind of nicey-sweeshed this. Nicey-sweeshed that fucking call there. Jesus Christ. Nicey-sweeshed it a little bit. Swish, swish. Getting in there and nicey-sweeshed it. We're running out of momentous things that could happen to people.
Starting point is 01:06:28 What I'm going to need is... We're at the point where we're going to have to start... It's like if you're a local news reporter and you start lighting buildings on fire so that you can write articles about them because not enough stuff's going on. Does that happen? That's rad. Does that really happen? I went to journalism school, so. I went to journalism school.
Starting point is 01:06:54 I mean, I went to broadcasting school for two weeks and then found out I'd have to take extra classes and bailed. Oh, man. And how many buildings did you set on fire in those two weeks? Six buildings, man. Well, four buildings and two out buildings. You know, they were like equipment sheds. Does that count?
Starting point is 01:07:15 A couple buckets. Yeah. Yeah. A couple piss buckets. They burn pretty good. You'd be surprised. It depends on diet. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:24 Yeah. What's in the piss how much piss yeah right which hazel they're using to clean yeah if there's yeah if there's witch hazel in the mixture yeah it's it's one of those things where it's good if you always have witch hazel witch hazel is good for everything you know you can use it to disinfect um you can use it for cleaning uh you can use it to light piss on fire just dump it on in and see how it goes is my my tip to you i'm a bit of a naturist jesse i i i know what you're saying is that like yeah you know we this is you know the longest running segment the show has been going on uh at this point. And so...
Starting point is 01:08:05 I bought my first house. It's long gone. Yeah. Wait. No, that's what I mean. Like, just all the good, all the regular momentous things in life are taken. Sure. Like, at the point where we're celebrating our 15th or 20th gender affirmation.
Starting point is 01:08:26 It is great. We continue to support it. But what I'm saying is we're going to have to start creating momentous occasions so that you can call in. Right. Number one is we're going to have to start pushing anvils and pianos off of the top of buildings. So, yeah, I mean, I think I was talking to some young people and they have this phrase that they like to use. R-O-C-K in the USA?
Starting point is 01:08:55 Close. Okay. Everybody walk the dinosaur. Oh, nice. Banana, banana, banana. Banana, banana, banana. These young people, they like to say, do it for the gram. By the way, speaking of banana, banana, banana, babies having babies these days.
Starting point is 01:09:13 Too many minions pregnant out there. Speaking of young people, go ahead. Yes, we need to give minions condoms. Hand out condoms at your laboratory where they work as your assistants i'm talking to you grew it's an audience of one for this um young people like to say do it for the gram right um i think we should the movement should now be do it for the momentous occasion hashtag jj go hashtag 20 206 984 for fun it's unwieldy yes but it's accurate what would be a good example of something to do for the hashtag 206 984 for fun like if you wanted to really get on the, but you didn't want to drop a penguin in the pants,
Starting point is 01:10:05 you didn't want to fake it. You really wanted to really do it. Yeah. At least headbutt your dad. Give dad a little headbutt. See what happens. Can we please go A to C? Like, this is just...
Starting point is 01:10:18 I'm not asking about the obvious shit. I'm talking about shit that really would take some thought or creativity. Not just the same shit that would come up if you ask anybody what's a momentous thing you could do to get on Jordan's ego they're all gonna say headbutt your dad but I'm talking about something the holidays are coming up it's a perfect time to headbutt dad yeah bam I'm so fucking tired of these old nose assholes they're crusty old noses yeah and gray nose hairs yeah i mean i would like to you know maybe
Starting point is 01:10:55 people can use this as kind of like a motivating you know a motivating you know kind of like um a motivating ism you know like should i do this should i not maybe i should for the momentous occasion you know yeah like somebody is like they go call and they say like uh i sold all my porn and i bought a uh rowboat that i'm gonna live in yeah so this is someone who still collects hard copy porn. Well, they don't anymore. They sold it. They might be starting to another collector.
Starting point is 01:11:34 They might be about to start a new collection. It's just there's not that much room on the rowboat. Yeah, you're going to need to collect something small like a hammock. Are they going to make the rowboat out of the porn if nobody will buy these yes copies you know maybe thank you put it together using fit yeah non-water soluble paste of some kind you know it'd be good to collect if you lived in a rowboat wars it's true i was thinking sardines but i like yours too
Starting point is 01:12:06 yeah so i think just like get out there live life um you know to the degree to which you're comfortable and let us know about it do it hash what was the thing i came up with hashtag hashtag 206-9844-FUN do for the moment. It's this occasion. Jordan, Jesse, go. Maximumfun.org. Sierra, I mean, obviously you're a go-getter. You started doing
Starting point is 01:12:30 stand-up comedy as a teen. You attended an Ivy League university. You're the scion of the Epstein family. My proudest. Yes. But what dream
Starting point is 01:12:44 have you not yet grabbed, no matter how fantastical? What do you think is still out there? What hill is still out there for Sierra to climb? Oof. I mean, so many hills, I think. But I mean, you know, I feel like I've never lived in a different country other than America. What's your top choice? Top three.
Starting point is 01:13:09 Maybe Spain. Sure. That would be nice. Be fun to say S is weird. Sure. Yeah, they do that. That's actually the reason why, you know, and if there are other countries that do that,
Starting point is 01:13:22 I mean, they're in the top three too. They got some interesting soups as well. Yeah, they've got all the things. I think they've got some good foods. Yeah. Good cold soups. I mean, bathe in it, you know. Fucking crazy.
Starting point is 01:13:35 Talk about upside down shit. Yeah. Cold soup. Come on. Sure. Have a little ham at four. Welcome to Spain. The hamming hour.
Starting point is 01:13:47 Have a little ham. Would you like some ham, they say, and then they reply, yes. Yes. Oh, right, right, right, right, because that's Spanish. And they say, ham. I don't know how they say it. Yeah, we don't really know. Okay, so Spain, number one, but we're looking for top three.
Starting point is 01:14:05 Top three? And you can't just say Andorra just because it's next to Spain. Right. And they have so many sheep there. You know me too well. I would say probably, I want to live in, my cousin lives in Hong Kong, so maybe I'd go there. That sounds fun. A friend of mine from high school lives in Hong Kong.
Starting point is 01:14:28 He's always posting about parties he's DJing. Looks really cool. His girlfriend in high school was the prettiest girl that we knew. Is that how he introduces himself? Yeah, so he got hooked up with the DJing gig in Hong Kong, I guess. Do you think he could get us in yeah i think he could probably get us in he knows a guy he gets some passes hell yeah to get us into
Starting point is 01:14:53 the semi-authoritarian nation of hong kong the semi-authoritarian semi-nation. Dude, my cousin's a DJ. He could totally get us visas. He dated one of the prettiest ladies. Yeah. Okay, so we got number one. Shout out to Sarah from high school. Very beautiful lady.
Starting point is 01:15:20 Number one, we got, of course, Spain. We got the hams, you got the hams you got the s's the soups the whole nine yards right um number two not andorra real number two is hong kong which is incredible incredible uh confluence of uh cultures incredible density of human beings, incredible food traditions, a food factory for the world, creating some of the world's greatest food ideas there. Everybody hanging out together, making incredible foods and types of noodle. Great. I love it so far. Great DJs. Incredible DJs.s. Oh, the DJs. Affordable, high-quality tailoring.
Starting point is 01:16:07 Everything you want in a semi-authoritarian, semi-new. What's number three on your list? I mean, might be too similar in a sense, but the UK. Okay. I assumed you were going to say like Singapore or something like that. Oh, I see. But I see where you're going. You're following the colonial lineage.
Starting point is 01:16:29 Yeah. And also, yeah. Plus soups, of course. UK known for its soups. It's got the classic brown soup. Brown. Thicker brown. It's got a thicker brown soup. it's got soup in a shell you know like a like a pie
Starting point is 01:16:49 or something oh right crack it open yeah that's right here you've seen their tourism commercial sierra yeah yeah i want them and i i would love to live in it Italy so I could get the real Gubbela Getze. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you can get it in LA, but it's not right. It's not real. It's not the real Gubbela Getze. Can I ask you a question? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:21 Have you ever been in Oaxaca during Gubbela Getze? When the streets are full of the Gubla Getze celebrations. Incredible. Beautiful. Incredible. You get the mezcal from the... I mean, it's just extraordinary experience. Okay, what about you, Jordan? You got three countries real quick?
Starting point is 01:17:37 What's your top three? Oh, top three. So, yeah, I'm gonna go... You know, I've always enjoyed Canada. I've enjoyed Canada every time I've been there. Similar to America, which I like, so I wouldn't have the bends culturally. Right. You're concerned about cultural hydrogen in your cultural bloodstream.
Starting point is 01:17:59 Right, yeah. I'm concerned about cultural rickets. By the way, I just got my cultural shingles vaccine. I'm grateful for that. That's great. Modern technology. So yeah, Canada would be nice. I have always wanted to visit Italy.
Starting point is 01:18:17 I don't know if it's a place I would like to live. I do not speak Italian, but I do want to go to the ruins where all the stray cats live. Yeah, I've only been to northern italy i was in milan uh but something that i liked a lot about milan italy which is the fashion capital of the world um and it's a it's like uh for being the fashion capital of the world not the most exciting city it's a little boring a lot of it built by fascists who didn't have the most flair yeah um so it's a little bit of a dull city aesthetically like the the city the built environment is a little dull and it has a reputation for being a little stayed among italians because it's northern italy you know and so on and so forth but the thing about
Starting point is 01:19:02 it that's great is it's right it's right up against uh the alps you know he's just like just south of the alps and so there's just people walking around in alpine garb just are on the street it's like oktoberfest every day of the year it's amazing you're just like i i asked I asked when we were there with this producer named John Luca. I was like, are there just people walking around in Tyrolean capes? Is this like a normal thing? He's like, yeah, we think they're kind of bougie. Like, I think they're world heroes wearing Tyrolean capes walking around.
Starting point is 01:19:45 Well, speaking of capes, I mean, I think my third country would have to be Latveria, the fictional country that Dr. Toome is the monarch of. Sure. A lot of capes in Latveria. Folks really know how to bring the flair. Yeah. It's a rich tradition. Cape would be nice. Beautiful country. Beautiful country. Oh, the ham in Latveria. really know how to bring the flair yeah it's a rich tradition cape would be nice beautiful country
Starting point is 01:20:05 beautiful country actually fully ham and latveria oh they make it they only make it from those uh pigs that look like sheep you know these from facebook no i don't think i've seen those yeah my mom posted these on facebook it's a pig that looks like a sheep it's got long woolly woolly hair but it's on a pig. This fucking thing is great. Can you get a photo of one of those things? And it's holding a sign that says, Fuck if you suck dick. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go.
Starting point is 01:20:41 It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Well, we each have something exciting going on, Jordan. You've got the smash hit graphic novel bubble in stores now. But Jordan, I have a concern. Yes. I already have a copy of Bubble.
Starting point is 01:21:00 I received it. Look, I was very supportive of the Bubble project from the beginning. That's just reality. Okay. I received it. Look, I was very supportive of the bubble project from the beginning. That's just reality. Okay. So I got it. I didn't have to pay for my copy. All right.
Starting point is 01:21:12 I got it for free. Oh, yeah. You got the hardcover too, if I remember correctly. Yeah. I don't even read floppy books. Yeah. What if somebody saw you with a floppy book? It'd be so embarrassing. There's a pay... Jesus Jesus Christ like if I was on the subway or something first of all me on the subway come on
Starting point is 01:21:31 what if my driver saw me with a floppy book about that Jordan there's a page at the beginning of my book there's practically nothing written on it that's my that's my worry is there's a page with almost nothing written on it and I wish I just my worry is there's a page with almost nothing written on it and i wish i just wish there was something i could do about that jordan so let's say you know like you want my signature that's something i want anything honestly anything to fill in that page i here's a way you could get a copy of bubble with not only my signature uh-huh but whatever dumb little bullshit you want me to write thank god because the bullshit i want you to write is so fucking dumb jordan here's the thing i am doing for the holidays people have asked how to get personalized
Starting point is 01:22:17 signed copies of bubble here's how you do it you go to book soup.com you click on signed or you go on over to my social media check out my pin tweet check out my instagram uh bio you'll link up to the site of book soup a great indie bookstore uh you pre-order there they ship anywhere they ship uh across the country ship across the world and uh yeah you can get a signed copy of Bubble for the holidays, and you can tell me what dumb bullshit to write. We did this for pre-orders. I had to have just a nice bookstore employee help me with them and say, can you make out this one to Jose Canseco? So if you want to confuse a nice, helpful bookstore employee this holiday season.
Starting point is 01:23:06 David Sedaris doesn't. Nobody writes Jose Canseco in the David Sedaris books. They don't. So yeah, if you want to do that, hopefully it would make a real cool holiday gift. If you know somebody that likes graphic novels, science fiction, comedy, all that stuff. Sometimes people put Jose Canseco in the Michael Chabons. Go to your local bookstore or library, take out all the Chabons. Right?
Starting point is 01:23:32 Jose Canseco in them. Sure. Yeah, so you can, if you're looking for a holiday gift or just, you know, haven't gotten yourself a copy of the Bubble graphic novel yet, you can do that. BookSoup.com, click on signed. And while we're talking Bubble, if you've already gotten the book and read it and liked it a lot, it'd be really cool if you'd vote for it in the Goodreads Choice Awards for 2021. That's right, Bubble was nominated for Best Graphic Novel. And you can get on over
Starting point is 01:24:03 there at goodreads and vote for us that'd be really cool listen the adventure zone's gonna win we we know the adventure zone's gonna win yeah uh they deserve to win those are great books great books great podcasts great guys and throw in a vote for jordan let's give them a run for their money let's make it close let's make it close listen it won't be close it won't be close get close make it kind of close make make us not embarrassed uh yeah so uh book soup.com if you want a signed personalized copy of bubble and uh goodreads.com if you want to vote for it uh in the goodreads choice awards that'd
Starting point is 01:24:46 be really cool of you thank you um i got i got something going on so i i can i can i interrupt you with a problem jesse yeah what's that i haven't uh been able to hear my favorite character peewee herman host a radio show. What am I going to do? Jordan, it just so happens that I'm close personal friends with Pee Wee Herman. He's my favorite. He's my favorite, too, which is why I'm so excited that I became close personal friends with him. And I am producing the Pee Wee Herman Radio Hour on KCRW here in Los Angeles. It's the most exciting thing of my entire career, except for Jose Canseco.
Starting point is 01:25:26 So I would say number two to Jose Canseco, the time I thought of Jose Canseco. Don't remember what the setup was, but don't need to. Just really proud of him. It was a list that we did for a live show, maybe. What was Jose Canseco? Anyway, the moral of the story is... I don't know.
Starting point is 01:25:40 It's a famous book signature now. The moral of the story is this. I'm close personal friends with Pee Wee Herman. And on Friday, November 26th at 6 p.m. Pacific time, you can listen to the Pee Wee Herman Radio Hour on KCRW, produced by yours truly, along with my friend Julia Smith. It's going to be a real thrill ride. KCRW had to, we had to do some, Pee Wee had to do some
Starting point is 01:26:07 convincing to get KCRW to allow him on the airwaves. They really truly don't know what they've signed up for. I think it's going to be a pretty crazy hour. You'll be able to listen to it at kcrw.org or on the, on the airwaves here in the Los Angeles area. Yes, this is real. And yes, holy shit. Both of those things. Yes, to both of those things. Yes, this is real. Yes, holy shit, Pee Wee fucking Herman.
Starting point is 01:26:41 It's my favorite thing ever, Jordan. Yeah. This is like if you were the producer of the simpsons radio show oh boy i wish marge on the airwaves i can't even imagine it now it's hosted by disco stew march is busy oh yeah fucking peewee herman radio hour please listen to it. It's, look, this thing's going to have a bunch of music in it and you can't podcast it. I'm not going to be able to podcast it. Pee Wee's going to be playing records.
Starting point is 01:27:12 You got to listen to it. Friday, November 26th, 6 p.m. KCRW.org or on the airwaves in Los Angeles. The Pee Wee Herman Radio Hour, produced by Jesse Thorne and Julia Smith. The most thrilling thing of my entire career. And I'm not going to say what special guests are going to be on the program. But I'll give you a hint, Jordan.
Starting point is 01:27:34 Hmm. Coochie coochie. That's your hint, Jordan. Oh, my gosh. That's your hint, Jordan, if everything goes according to Hoyle. It's Balaban, baby. It's Balaban, baby! We booked Balaban, baby! Friday, November 26th at 6 p.m.
Starting point is 01:27:53 The Pee Wee Herman Radio Hour on KCRW. Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. You're in the theater. The lights go down. You're about to get swept up by the characters and all their little details and interpersonal dramas. You look at them and think, that person is so obviously in love with their best friend. Wait, am I in love with my best friend? That character's mom is so overbearing.
Starting point is 01:28:18 Why doesn't she stand up to her? Oh, good God. Do I need to stand up to my own mother? We never know when we'll see ourselves in a movie, but that search for recognition is exactly what we're going to talk about on the podcast Feeling Seen with me, Jordan Cruciola. Each episode, we'll bring in a guest to talk about the films that they see themselves in and also the ways that movies have fallen short. So join me every Thursday for the Feeling Seen podcast here on Maximum Fun
Starting point is 01:28:43 or wherever you find your podcasts. Look, it's a rough world out there, especially lately. I get it. So let's take care of our minds as best we can. I'm Jon Moe, host of Depressed Mode with John Moe. Every week I talk with comedians, actors, writers, musicians, doctors, therapists, and everyday folks about the obstacles that our world and our brains throw in front of us. Depression, anxiety, traumatic stress, all those mental health challenges that are way more common
Starting point is 01:29:22 and more treatable than you might think. The first time I went to therapy, I was so ashamed. And I was like, I can't believe I got to go into therapy. Like, I thought I could be a man. And Humphrey Bogart was never in therapy. And then my dad said, yeah, but he smoked a carton of cigarettes a day. Give your mind a break. Give yourself a break. And join me for Depressed Mode with Jon Moe.
Starting point is 01:29:41 for Depress Mode with John Moe. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan Jessigo. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And Sierra Cotto, CTTFG activist. Sierra, so great to have you on the program. Always a pleasure and an honor.
Starting point is 01:30:07 Jordan, do you want to introduce the Wushu Club? You like swords. You like flips. It was so fucking amazing. When he played this VHS tape, it's like 30 dudes doing fucking flips. Swords and shit. It's like I'm doing slow motion teabag, whatever the fuck. He could have been teaching us the other thing the whole time.
Starting point is 01:30:38 You gotta like rent the swords though. That's like an extra expense. Do you think he ran out? And then if you like lose the sword, like if you leave the sword on a bus or something oh god i would have taken that yeah you got the guilt of course yeah i'm leaving a weapon that kid sure we've we've already addressed jordan that i grew up about four blocks from a kung fu supply store yes uh that still in my memory seems like it was a dream but i learned was actually real from some other people that grew up near it um i would have just gone down to that kung fu supply store it was still open at the time just go to the kung fu supply store say give me some fucking swords and some
Starting point is 01:31:14 flips and everything yeah god that would have been great yeah what could have been fucking asshole that guy was teaching us that boring ass fucking comfort I know right Trying to teach us to be calm Or whatever the fuck I just want to do flips so bad Seems like it didn't work Seems like you didn't take away the tenets of Tai Chi The basic tenet of Tai Chi
Starting point is 01:31:39 Is be resentful that you can't do a fucking flip Right I'd be mad about it 20 years later well i could kick this guy's ass right now if he couldn't kick my ass so squarely in half a second oh my god you know i had a friend in high school who did wushu right his name was hua who would just do a flip just as soon as just just like this? You say, who are you want to do a flip? He would have already be doing. He'd be in the air flipping backwards in the air.
Starting point is 01:32:11 There's flip guys. Yeah. Some people have it. Some people are. Yeah. Some people are flip guys. People are. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:19 Give this guy a halberd. Fucking ribbons. You're fucking ribbons fucking with Hua. A real winning attitude, too. I guess, I mean, I don't know if Wushu is, like, lumped in with self-defense, but I mean, kind of tough to be like, you know, somebody's hassling you on the street. You'd be like, wait, I have to go get two swords. I can't do it without my swords.
Starting point is 01:32:44 He's like, oh, man. I will will wait i will wait and fuck with you when you come back with two swords i got one sword and a banana uh sierra we got real off track there from uh plugging the the television show the the highly anticipated television show of which you are one of the stars. We gotta say, The Sex Lives of College Girls coming to streaming television imminently. Where can people watch it?
Starting point is 01:33:19 Yes, it will be on HBO Max. And I think November 18th is the premiere date. Get excited. Love it. on HBO Max. And I think November 18th is the premiere date. Get excited. Love it. Love HBO Max. Love to watch Hooper on there. So my recommendation is first watch Hooper. The sort of slice of life Burt Reynolds comedy about stuntmen.
Starting point is 01:33:44 It reflects the fact that both he and Hal Needham had a background in stunt work. sort of slice of life Burt Reynolds comedy about stuntmen that's reflects the fact that both he and Hal Needham had a background in stunt work um and then
Starting point is 01:33:52 go ahead and I mean this is the classic path like as soon as you're done watching Hooper they're gonna say do you wanna watch the algorithm
Starting point is 01:33:58 will recommend it to you yeah it just rolls right into it yeah Sierra you're right it'll give you five seconds to watch the credits and then it'll just start playing. Skip credits.
Starting point is 01:34:08 Let's go. You also have a podcast, which you insist is a going concern. That's always a red flag. I'm going to be honest with you. If when I say, would you like us to plug your podcast, you say, well, that still exists. It does. Did I sell it correctly? Have you been, have you successfully, so it's the podzitivity, pod being both a part of an iPod, stay podzitive, part of an iPod and a way of approaching the world.
Starting point is 01:34:47 iPod and a way of approaching the world. Have you successfully used the lessons that you've learned on Stay Positive to maintain a positive attitude while the world burns down around you? You know, I think I haven't. I think, you know, I talk with people. I think that, no. I think that, no. But I am, yes, I would say it's kind of a fun, like I get to talk with people about maybe their ways that they do it. And then I go, oh, interesting. I should take that advice. And then I forget.
Starting point is 01:35:18 But overall, I think it's good for people who actually remember how to do things to hear those tips and be like, oh yeah, maybe I should take a, you know, get a life coach or take a voice lesson. I talked with someone about that. They said, everybody should take voice lessons. You know, I took some voice lessons. I loved it. I recommend taking some voice lessons. Take them with a nice lady in Eagle Rock that's my tip for everybody out there I don't need them I would just be wasting money she actually she said I went in there
Starting point is 01:35:57 the first it was an amazing experience just at her house in Eagle Rock piano set up there she's got opera training. She's got popular music training, whatever you need, jazz, she can teach you jazz. She said, just bring in a piece. I went in there and I said, hop, dip, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop And she was like, it's perfect. Give me $100 and get out of here. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:27 So that's how it worked out for me. Did you learn anything from the, did you have a life coach on or a person who had hired a life coach? Person who had hired a life coach. I did have a dating coach on and that was cool. What did you learn from the dating coach? You know, she was specifically, I mean, you know, things that you hear a lot, but it was kind of nice hearing it from her. Like it was like, you know, she kind of actually works more in like giving you confidence. So like she specifically tends to work with mostly guys who are seeking women. But like overall, like it's kind of more working on confidence and working on themselves so that they can meet someone. And she's not a matchmaker,
Starting point is 01:37:05 per se, but she's like working on you as a person, so that you can feel confident enough, or honest enough, I guess, to like find somebody who is a good match or who, you know, being open a little bit more to like meeting somebody who maybe they didn't think maybe they come in with a bunch of criteria. They're like, I like this kind of person. And then they kind of like, she maybe might walk them through like, hey, that's actually maybe not the most realistic thing. What about this sort of thing? And like kind of working with them as an individual first.
Starting point is 01:37:33 That's not super realistic. The minions aren't real. Right, right, right. You cannot meet them. So many guys come in there looking for a minion who loves to suck dick. A tiny yellow cylinder looking thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:47 We can't all, you know, we can't all get one. Yeah. Finite number of minions. Infinite number of people who want minions. Right. Yeah. Well, Sierra, always a joy, always a joy to have you on the program. Congratulations on the extraordinary success that you've had since the last time you were here.
Starting point is 01:38:08 Congratulations, and frankly, you're welcome. Thank you. A lot of casting directors listen to the show. Mindy Kaling writes in almost every week. She says, thanks. I'm casting the sex lives of college girls. I've already got a part for Steve Agee. Rob Peeble is on the show.
Starting point is 01:38:32 Sure, yeah. It sounds like she did because two for two. Friend of Jordan Jessico, Rob Peeble is that on the show. I will not be using either of you, the hosts. But I would like for your guests to be someone I might cast. Yeah. I had to find room for Gavin Leatherwood. I'm just looking at the IMDB right now.
Starting point is 01:38:54 I bet Gavin Leatherwood is a cool guy. He's cool. He's in it. Francesca Zureb played Quinn on the show. That couldn't go to Jordan. Jordan, you could play Quinn in your fucking sleep. I turned it down. You turned down Quinn.
Starting point is 01:39:10 Yeah. Because you were trying to make a play for a bigger part, maybe Hubel's part. No, I just didn't want to drive all the way to Pasadena. Jordan, you live in Pasadena. Yeah, but this was South Pasadena. You're right, it was. It was kind of bordering San Marino. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:39:30 Oh, wow. San Marino. I'm not about to go to La Cunada Flint Ridge, okay? What do you think I work in? Altadena? No, sir. Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa. No.
Starting point is 01:39:42 Going to get a hotel. Thank God we listed some places near pasadena good specifics there anyway uh uh sierra of course um you can hear her on stay positive you can see her on the sex lives of college girls um You can catch her doing stand-up around Monrovia, California, right there by Pasadena. I'm out of places. I'm out of places.
Starting point is 01:40:12 The crow's nest in Monrovia. Our producer, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez, on the stream this week, Valerie Moffitt. You can find us on Reddit, maximumfun.reddit.com. This is Reddit I've been looking at, Jordan. Absolute units. It's just big things.
Starting point is 01:40:33 Yeah, I've seen absolute units. That's a good Reddit. It's just a Reddit where they just show you a big thing. Yeah, and they say it's an absolute unit. Yeah, this one guy had big fingers. Whoa. Big, this guy was one guy had big fingers. Whoa. Big, thick fingies. Sounds like
Starting point is 01:40:50 a pretty good Reddit. Yeah, well, there's a picture of his hand in like a regular hand. His hand was way bigger. Oh, that's good. For scale. For scale. Yeah, exactly. A regular hand for scale. Paper, newspaper to show the date. And then it had a picture of some scale he had on his perineum.
Starting point is 01:41:09 Got to get it checked. That's the lesson of today's show. Get it checked out. That's why I'm here. Get it checked out. That's the last thing. This is going to be rare but deadly. Right.
Starting point is 01:41:19 Hashtag at JJGo on Twitter. Find us on Instagram at Jordan. God damn it. I forgot if it's Jordan D. Morris or Jordan David Morris. Oh, that's okay. It's Jordan David Morris. How long have we been plugging our Instagrams on this show? Every fucking week. We did three weeks
Starting point is 01:41:35 about your Instagram. I forget every time. At put.this.on on Twitter at jessithorn at jordan underscore morris. Look, that's enough. That's enough different things. Thank you for listening. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.

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