Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Fungus On The Limes with Mark Ganek

Episode Date: August 25, 2022

Mark Ganek (Archer) joins Jordan and Jesse to talk what credits Jordan gets the most texts about, Mark's first time hearing Jordan Jesse Go on the radio and Jesse's part in the season premiere of Archer. Check out the new season of Archer on FXX and Hulu now.This episode brought to you by Lumi Labs. Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use JJGO for 30% off + Free Shipping.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jessigo. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. I have received a very important personal serious message. Jordan, do you mind if I... Do you think this is the right time and place? I have no secrets from you, Jordan. Certainly, 20 some years we've been friends. Gosh, sorry. I have a lot of secrets from you.

Oh, really? Yeah. Don't tell me you have the secret of the ooze. I'll never tell, but... I've been trying to find that fucking secret since I was 10 years old. Let's just say a certain Toca and Rezar might be showing up at your house later to kill you. This is a message that was forwarded to me from Toca and Rezar, the mutants from TMNT2, the secret of the ooze. Sorry, go ahead, Jesse. Thanks for the clarification

on that, Jordan. I had them pegged as the bad guys from Brave Star. No, no, no. Secret of the ooze. Continue. Okay. Thomas Matysik sent me this. He's a former Max Fund intern. Lives in Minnesota. Nice man. Very handsome. This is the message from Violent J. The Insane Clown Posse member? Yeah. I mean, it doesn't say... No, the owner of a Hyundai dealership. Come on down to Violent J's Hyundai. It says personal serious message from Violent J. It doesn't say personal

serious message from Violent J of the insane clown posse. So yeah, who knows? It could be Pastor Violent J. There's any number of Violent J's it could be. I mean, we know it's not non-violent J. Sup ninjas? Yo. Okay. This checks out. I think it might be him. I think it might be the ICP guy. Sorry. Just a hunch. If it's's not he's done his research you know who non-violent jay is by the way the reverend jesse jackson sup ninjas that's funny thanks uh it's a humor program yo i've been studying primates lately i'm talking chimps gorillas spider monkeys orangutans ect they're all awesome in my book So if you happen to own or work with one or more of these dope creatures, or if you know someone who does, then please leave me a message because

Ninja, I'd like to be your friend. Not because you're a great guy or anything like that either. Nope. The truth is I'd only like to be your friend because you've got access to a fresh monkey. Before you go calling me a user, face the facts. The only reason you'd even let me meet that damn monkey is because I rap fresh. It's that simple. Shit. We should both be glad your monkey can't rap because if it could, we'd both be asked out of this equation. So leave me your info, monkey nuts, and I'll bring the bananas. Vijay. Wow. Yeah. I think this is a good time. As you were reading that, I was realizing that I don't think we as a culture have checked in on the Juggalos lately. I remember the last time a Juggalo thing made the news. It was because I think they were very early to, we should probably cancel our

shows because of COVID. Early, like, we're not sure what this is. We're not sure how long this will be. We got to cancel the shows. And that kind of supported the narrative, hey, the Juggalos are actually pretty cool. And I agreed, a shining moment for complicated people. Well, I remember hearing that this was maybe like 18 months ago, they did a show in Dubai for the Association of International Arms Smugglers. Is that same deal or? You know, we all contain multitudes. Yeah, sure. I mean, not least the insane clown posse.

Yes, sure. They contain multitudes from Violent J to Shaggy 2 Dope. Sure. Inside all of us, there are two juggalos at war, constantly warring with each other. And I appreciate the honesty of that email, kind of like, let's lay this on the table. I want something from you, which is monkey access. Right. You want something for me, which is a proximity to someone who can rap fresh. Let's make this as honest a transaction as possible. I really appreciate that because we're in showbiz. We know about all these... There's these friendships. You go to these lunches. You go to these coffees. You pretend that you're interested in somebody's trip to Denver

just because you're sussing them out. Do you got a job? They're sussing you out. Do you have a job? They're pretending to be interested about your recent trip to Denver. A lot of people going to Denver. A lot of beautiful city.

Popular vacation destination for Angelenos. Great micro brew scene. Great micro brews. The hiking. I love hiking. I'll go anywhere for a nice hike, Jordan. Show me a low to medium peak and I'll take a plane to hike to it. Amazing. Yeah. So I really appreciate the honesty here. I wish we should all be so transparent in our relationships, you know? Have you ever had this experience jordan you're talking to somebody online yeah girl guy a slash s slash l yeah you're in a chat yeah okay you're in a teen chat room in aol yeah

you're talking about young life how's everybody's walk with christ going a slash s slash l re walk with christ you're chatting let's say you're chatting in in an app okay bumble right raya sure you're in raya probably open table.com yelp yeah all the hot apps trip finder wouldn't it be great to just use the social media functions of yelp like you know how you can like click on somebody and see their picture and what else they've reviewed and... To fuck? Yeah. You know, there's times when you're on the Yelp app and somebody, you know, does a witty or helpful review and, you know, you see the little profile pic and you think

they're cute and you think about what, how could I take this to the next level? I mean, I think the answer is there's no appropriate way to, maybe a bolder Yelp user could, but... Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. But not a Denver Yelp user like us. No. Yeah. Bolder. And that's funny. Well, you know, not funny enough to have said it, but more funny than silence, certainly. Yeah. I don't know. I guess there's kind of an anti-comedy to silence, you know, like.

Yeah, fair enough. It's the jokes they're not making. I'd like to think that if I were a single man, now, obviously, I'm a happily married man. Sure. But if I were a single man and I was on Yelp, whether it was Yelp.com or the Yelp app on my smartphone, and I saw a really great review that no matter what the picture looked like, I might send them a little message to find out if they were DTF. Right.

I actually just opened Gas Buddy here. And there's actually a section to click if you're looking for more than Gas Buddies. Okay. If you're looking for a gas relationship. Jordan, I downloaded Gas Buddy. I had no idea it had to do with gasoline. Oh, you were looking for friends to fart with. F for F. Friend for fart. A lot of people get horny for those little pictures on

Yelp. You know what I mean? You see a little picture, maybe you wonder if the person is attractive. For me, what makes me horny is the review. And specifically, if I read a whole review with nothing racist in it, just no racist stuff in the whole thing. No coded racism. Yeah. How long do you think we are until we get the news headline that Violent J has had his face in general ripped off? A week before this comes out, right. And I don't want that to happen, by the way. I should say I've been on team juggalos are actually pretty cool for a while now.

I don't want the man's face and genitals to get ripped off. But it seems like anyone who will give Violent J access to a monkey is probably in some sort of Tiger King situation, like where they have obtained the monkeys sub-legally. I don't know. You don't think Jane Goodall is a juggalo? You know what? I don't.

Okay. Well, fair enough. Anyway, RIP Violent J's face and genitals. Honestly, if there was any entertainer in America today who could make hay of a nude genital and faceless form, I think it's Violent J. It would give Violent j a career renaissance new shit to rap about new terrors to visit upon the youth of america yeah if you want to have a

spooky face you don't even need the makeup so it'll save a lot on makeup just by showing his skinless skull face to the crowd yeah plus i mean same thing about dick right now if they want to have a spooky dick think of all the makeup they have to buy yeah you're really saving a lot on dick makeup by just going out there on stage in front of the gathering whoop whoop and take down your pants and you just show you just show them your nub a dick used to be here. I went on a trip to the lake and my uncle ate almost all the summer sausage. And this is what's left. Wait, what? You know that little end of a summer sausage?

No, the monkey ate it. But you know where the plastic wrap on the summer sausage gathers at the end? And it makes a little squinchy shape. If you pull out the last little quarter inch of the summer sausage, that's what Violent J has after the monkey rips his dick off. Gotcha. Okay, okay, okay. It's just that little squinchy bit. I think the way you were saying it, it makes it seem like his uncle did it. Well, I mean, I don't know who his aunt married.

I mean, hey, and I think this is a good- I can't speak to that. This is a good place just to give some practical advice. If you encounter an uncle in the wild, adopt a submissive posture. Please. Thank you. And don't think that just because a young uncle is adorable, it's going to be socialized when it's older. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Once uncles reach adolescence, that's when they're going right for the nards. Just get a house cat. Just get a cat. Cats don't want nothing to do with your nards. Our guest on the program wants everything to do with your nards. He's the head writer of the television program Archer, which you can find on

FXX and Hulu. Mark Gannick. Hi, Mark. How are you? I'm great. It's an absolute delight to be here. What an honor it is to have you, sir, on the program. And what an honor it is to have been chosen by you to be star of the new season of Archer. I'm very grateful for it. And it means a lot to me. I wrote a nice email to John Benjamin to thank him for all the great work that he's done on the show. And I really appreciate the vote of confidence. The couple of lines that we recorded already, I thought went really well. And I'm really looking forward to the sessions that were, I mean, just email my agent, Josh,

and he can get those sessions scheduled because there's new seasons coming up pretty fast. So yeah, no, no, you're right. We got August 24th. Well, we got to make sure we land your arc. Yeah. And that's really important. And I mean, you know, yeah. Arcs.

Yeah, exactly. So important. Oh, it's all about. You don't have to talk to me about that. I'm a regular fucking no over here oh wow i mean the thing is is that i don't want to you know look i i don't want to upset you or anything but i ascribe i mean if you guys know the philosophy of radical honesty yeah that's where no matter what you let people know that you're there for

their fucking monkey yeah absolutely no matter if it's detrimental to you, you know what I mean? Or that you have to say it. And now I don't do that, but, um, I do, I do, I did develop my own philosophy, kind of an offshoot of that, which I call, uh, selective radical honesty. And, and so basically what that is, is that, um, I have to absolutely have to tell the truth if one, uh, I want to, and two, it would make the other person sad. And I'm just really strict about that. So I would say it wasn't about you per se. You know what I mean? It was about, you know, needing the right person to play Hall of Mirrors guy. Or as we called him, we were, you know, we started affectionately calling him around the office. I mean, I guess it was, it was still Hall of Mirrors guy, but it was, it was said with great affection.

Yeah. Homg. Sometimes people would say sometimes people would say yeah they really would try so jesse's character that he plays in the season premiere of archer indeed which i think as of the release of this you can stream on your hulu app or fxx on demand let's hope this character is not replacing archer as the main character of the show because i think that Jesse, sorry, and Jesse, can I just have a minute with Mark here? Yeah. I'm going to check my email. Yeah. Jesse, check your email. See if you got anything from Gas Buddy. See if they want to meet up. Mark, I think Jesse thinks that his character, Hall of Mirrors guy, is the new main character of the show. Do you think now might be the time to tell him that guys guys

i got an email from haystack he says i can borrow his chimpanzee oh boy oh man i'll be back i gotta get back to him okay um you know it's uh i honestly think it'd be funnier if we don't i think i think maybe if we just you know we can let him think, you know, because I mean, look, I mean. Guys, guys, guys, guys. Tech 9 has six bonobos. This is great news. Thank you, Jesse. This is huge.

I'm going to write him back. I wanted more than four. I mean, I feel like at this point, it's probably pretty obvious that this season actually doesn't have Archer in it. So, you know, we've decided to go with more of like, it's more of a tone poem, honestly. Oh, okay. That's an interesting direction. Guys, guys. Yes.

I don't know any more Juggalo rappers. Those are the only other two that I could think of that weren't in the Insane Clown Posse. Coolio, maybe? Yeah, probably Coolio. In all sincerity, Mark, thank you for letting me be on your amazing show that's my favorite show. This is the honor of a lifetime. Thank you to the Max Fund people who

made the petition that I hope no one saw. What a tremendous honor. Well, let me say you are totally welcome. It was not my decision. Oh, thank God. Wait, so yeah, can we talk about how it actually happened? Because it's pretty amazing, because Jesse has been such a vocal Archer fan. And I should say that I am too. Yeah. Jordan's a nut for Archer as well. Jesse's, it's huge. He and his wife watch it while they kiss. It's my wife's favorite show. We can only kiss when we're watching it. That is how we require our viewers to watch it. You must be kissing at all times. There can be no coming up for it. That's why I've never seen the show. Exactly. Yeah. It's

sort of like a didgeridoo circular breathing kind of thing you've got to do. It's just got to be continuous. It's a tantric comedy. Yeah, indeed. So how did it how did it happen? How did we go from super fan to cast member? Yeah, well, I mean, I've been listening to you guys for a very long time. The story sort of goes that I was driving through Santa Cruz, you know, way back in the day. And it was broke enough that I had to listen to the radio like a chump. You know, so I was like, oh, a college radio station. I want to hear whatever, you know, droney, you know, like what this is just, you know, like hardcore sounds of industrial machinery operating. And it's like, do you want it to hear the locust? Yeah. And so you want to

hear someone's friend's challenging band. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Someone who like basically after the song finishes, essentially convinces you that it was the greatest thing you've ever heard. Yeah. Despite the fact that it was indeed monkey noises and it was indeed someone's face and genitals being ripped off. Mark, we can just say you wanted to hear what was coming up at the Kumbwa Jazz Center. That's thank you for finally getting that out in the open.

When the Aptos chess club was meeting. So yeah, so I was driving through and suddenly I hear, you know, these two voices come on the radio and the sheer puzzlement on my face as I listened to what was happening. Imagine our faces, Mark. And so I would really prefer not to. Fair enough. I was like, I was like, I do not know what this is, but I think I need to find out. And so I would really prefer not to. Fair enough. I was like, I was like, I do not know what this is, but I think I need to find out. And so I would like, you know, when I went, got to wherever I was going, I looked it up online and found the MP3s.

And so I've, you know, and I've been listening to you guys for a long time. And so. Wow. Oh, my gosh. I knew that Jesse was a fan. And so I slid into his DMs, a phrase that immediately ages me. What are you, ludicrous? The rapper Ludacris?

Now when the kids want to smash, they slide into each other's GBs. They're gas buddies. Oh, yeah. There you go. Yeah. Sorry. I should I probably should have yelped you. But no.

So then I just I was like, do you want me to pitch you? And so I pitched him. And then and then we have this now future classic scene with Hall of Mirrors guy. Probably the greatest scene in Archer history. Can you imagine, Jordan, imagine this. Imagine in your DMs on Twitter, you get an email from a guy named Mark and he says, hey, would you be interested if I pitched you as a guest on Archer? And you're like, wait, no. What am I supposed to say? No, no,'t. No, thank you. I'm holding out for Capitol Critters. Yeah. Fish police or nothing. No, that's awesome. I can imagine

what a thrill that must have been. What was the recording process like? Jesse, did you just record it from home or did you go to a fancy pants studio somewhere? I went to our office when it was still pretty pandemic-y, but I went to our office. I think I might've even been recording myself. I can't remember if I got somebody to come engineer for me, but I went into the office and like Skyped with everybody. Everybody was so nice. And the main thing that I remember is like trying to figure out on the way there, how to convince them that they really should tell me if I'm doing it wrong. And we never figured it out. We just didn't figure it out.

We just couldn't hit the right. Yeah. Jeez. I was like, I am going to do, God only knows whether I haven't done anything. Like to say I haven't done it before, right? Like 20,000 miles from having done it before. I made some weird noises in bubble, but like overall never done it before. And the main thing that I wanted was just for them to know that they could just give me a line reading.

Like if it came to it, it's okay to just give me a line reading. I won't feel bad. Whatever they need, I will do it. It's okay to just give me a line reading. I won't feel bad. Whatever they need, I will do it. They just need me to bark like a dog for a while, and then they're going to loop in John Benjamin doing an impression of me. God bless them. Jesse, I think they could probably get Billy West to replace you. Mark, you got to know Billy West, right? Yeah, I think Billy West could do it.

I'm sorry. I don't know him personally. Just get Dana Snyder to do it. He's better than me. We have a longstanding feud. I have many longstanding feuds. It's unfortunate. What other Mel Blanc Jr.? You got beef with that guy?

Well, I mean, you know, obviously this scene that I eventually ended up writing, you know, with Hall of Mirrors guy was, you know, not actually inspired by what would be best for the show or you know even comedy it was really inspired by my long-standing and very public beef with argentinian short story writer jorge luis borges god i fucking hate borges it's just it's i mean look i know i know people are sick of hearing about this i know that like every time i'm appearing on every time i open a fucking us weekly it's about mark and borges yeah i know and so because this guy look i'm a really even keeled guy but this is true this guy this fucking guy okay so let's just listen to this okay listen

what this guy says okay okay both mirrors and copulation are abominable because they increase the number of man get a load of this fucking guy can you believe are you kidding me what's that about and so i was like i was like this anti-mirror guy and like look side note and the number of man like mirrors don't work on women like you know like thank you george saunders would never and he's basically saying that women are vampires as far as i can tell and so and that's only true of like 40 of them well uh my ex-wife is for my paycheck yeah so originally i was gonna have jesse just fucking in this hall of mirrors you know what i mean just get both population and

mirrors really but you know like i mean at some point there just wasn't even you know at some point you know you run into some corporate monkey who can't see the vision. He's got his mouth full of face and genitals. Just can't, can't fucking see it. Can't talk. So anyway, I'm sorry to drag you into this. I mean, the estate will be in contact with you, certainly. The Borges estate. Your diss track was great, by the way.

Oh, yeah. Thanks. I honestly thought no one could go bar for bar. Marquez, maybe. But you? I didn't think so. Right? I mean, you know, like? I didn't think so. Right?

I mean, you know, like Garden of Forking Paths. Like, you know, more like Garden of fucking Terrible Stories, right? That's his fucking guy. Daniel, add the air horn. Daniel, add the air horn. Unbelievable, this guy. Anti-mirror. Fuck this guy.

Fucking Mark didn't go to UC Santa Cruz. He was just driving through. He went to a real university. Yeah yeah that's what they teach you there is drive through just long enough to enjoy some quality radio maybe stop at the saturn cafe for a veggie burger and get the fuck out i was starved for culture having this borges shit shoved down my throat. And, you know, so I'm glad that I found you guys. God, all our IPer mentions, the Borges stans, the Borges bros are gonna be... Then like my mentions would come back to life

and it would also somehow be me or some shit. I mean, like, you know what I mean? That's how this Borges shit works. Today, I was headed back from the automated teller machine and I saw a car that had a Saturn Cafe bumper sticker on it, vegetarian restaurant in Santa Cruz. And I had this vivid sense memory of not knowing it was a vegetarian restaurant, ordering something called Chick's Parm, eating it and thinking,

God, why is this so awful? That's all. Just to have that thought, fuck, this is awful. College was great, wasn't it? We all had fun in college experimenting. That's all. Just to have that thought. Fuck, this is awful. College was great, wasn't it? We all had fun in college experimenting. College was wild. Mark, do you want to use this opportunity to maybe give Jesse some notes? Jesse's just in general on his persona?

Yeah, thank you. Oh, yeah. No, not about the performance, but just kind of his general deal, life path up to this point. I mean, look, we all, you know, how many roads must a man walk down? And I think- As Borges once said. The answer for you should be a few more. That's, I mean, I think that's all I'm going to say. Just walk down more roads.

Check out some more roads. I mean, I mean, there's other roads out there. How about this? How about you take a long walk off a short pier, Mark? Whoa. This is- That's my feedback for you. Take a long walk off a short pier.

Okay, Daniel, do not play the air horn there. Okay, look, I think you have the start of a diss track if i know if i know diss tracks yeah uh and i clearly do you're a regular haystack when it comes to diss tracks it's hard to argue with that yeah jesse is um is hall of mirrors guy here could we could we talk to hall of Mirrors guy? Is he here? Uh, hello, it's me, Hall of Mirrors guy. Whoa! Oh my God! Don't look in that mirror. That's not me.

Over here is where I am, but you don't know where here is because of the mirrors. This is better than when Seth MacFarlane goes on a talk show and does Stewie. And me? I'm Kareem Abdul-Jabbar from the National Basketball Association. I'm going to kick your ass, Bruce Lee. Yeah, we were shocked when he brought in Kareem Abdul-Jabbar from the National Basketball Association. I'm going to kick your ass, Bruce Lee. Yeah, we were shocked when he brought in Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, but like, you know what I mean? Like when someone's on a roll like that. Got to bring in Cage. You have to, you know, I mean, you nod respectfully and then delete it, but you know, but you certainly nod respectfully. Yeah. I know Kareem because we're both Holmesians.

We're in a Sherlock Holmes club together. So he and I are the two tallest guys in it. That's the thing I've learned about working with Jesse over the years is if you want the gold, and I do. You got to deal with a lot of haystacks. If you want the gold, have him do it once, you get the lines as written, and then you just let him go. You just let him riff. And then that's where you're getting showered with the gold. Yeah. Sometimes Jordan will have me say something and then he'll say like, well, how would a rapper say that? How would a Southern preacher say that?

How would a homosexual say that? How would Robin Williams say that in 1991? And I just go back to the beginning and go through the list again. Those are all kind of Robin Williams go-tos. Pretty much what Robin Williams did was just those voices. Those very broad, slightly offensive voices. You know, genius, different time. Mark, before we started, you yelled at some children to go to sleep. How is that going? Are the kids still asleep?

Well, funny story about that. I have no idea. There is no one else here and I'm in this room. So as far as they know, I don't exist anymore. You know, object permanence, not really a part of their thing. They're old enough for it, but they've just never really gotten there. You know, ball under the blanket. They just, you know, run off and run directly headfirst into a wall. Yeah. Asynchronous development, it's called. They're super good at puzzles. Yeah, of course. I mean, like, you know, they're puzzles that they make out of my electronics. uh you know i'm very very proud of their progress and you know i just am really excited for you know the time when they stop peeing directly on my head at night i mean that's i think that's i think that's coming what do you want it to go

through some kind of rube goldberg machine i mean that'd be nice yeah i mean it would show a little bit of you know you want you want that stem where you want them to pee around a goddamn corner onto your head oh yeah like how impressive would that be though like that would be incredible like just like the aerodynamics involved oh yeah there'd probably be a system of fans god that would make it what great one of those okay go videos don't you guys think just OK, go guys. It's just a fun power pop song. Then somebody pissing around a corner right on Mark's face. Yeah, specifically mine. I think that's important.

You know what I mean? Like, I think they should make a move into water sports videos. I think that's that's really the next logical step for them. With OK, goes deal. And I don't know if they still do this, but if they still do the fun Rube Goldberg music videos, they should cover that song that goes, you know, the factory song. The fucking factory song. Yeah. They could write some lyrics to it, like the lyrics to the Odd Couple theme.

Sure, yeah. Everywhere they go, they are known as the couple. It would be like, everywhere they go, they're... Shit, I can't... Factory, they're on a conveyor belt factory you gotta make some stuff that's just off the dome listen i'm not in okay go they'll crush it i'll just do some ooze in the background i think that's really where i'm at you know i mean just like just i think that's i think that's my role here do you think jordan because some time

ago mark and i can only hope that you haven't heard this program since we were all in college. That's when we peaked, by the way. Yeah, that was the first and last time that Jordan peed around a corner onto my face. But some time ago in the program, we came to an almost spiritual relationship with Walton Goggins' vodka brand. Well, it's Spirit's brand that features a vodka. And we learned about the extraordinary musical talents of the audience of this program. Just the incredible gifts that so many people have to waste on us. And I'm wondering if there are people out there, Jordan, who are ready in the Jordan Jesse O audience to make vocal arrangements

of the Factory song. Oh, that's an interesting proposal. I mean, I would say probably write lyrics, but you could just gooby dooby do your way through if you're in fucking Manhattan Transfer or whatever. Let's make a list of our dream bands to do this. Okay. Go is first Manhattan transfer has got to be number two. Yeah. Oingo boingo. It's not a band, but Coolio would be great. Coolio would be incredible.

Do you think he could get Haystack on the track? I would love for this to be premiered at the gathering of the Juggalos. Oh God. I would love it. But I think, I mean, you know, throw,

lay down a metal guitar, play a little fucking flute, whatever. And then drop some Fox on the factory song. JJGoMaximalFun.org, send it to us. I don't give a shit. It's one less thing I have to think of to say. Well, yeah.

You guys want to check on the conveyor belts and then come back for another segment? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. go. It's Jordan, Jesse go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart, Jordan Morris, boy detective Jordan. If this episode is like other episodes of Jordan, Jesse go, and I'm going to venture that it may be in the sense that it's substantially a waste of time, not entirely, but substantially, I'll say that it is brought to you, the listener, by you, the listener. The members of Maximum Fun are the people who make this show possible. So thanks to everybody who's gone to MaximumFun.org slash join. You rule. You're keeping our lights on. Our thanks also this week go out to the folks at Stitch Fix. Now, Jordan, what do you do when a problem comes along? You must stitch it.

Yeah. Stitch Fix is a service that helps you find your new best look. Your next favorite clothing is coming from our friends at Stitch Fix. All you have to do is tell a robot what you look like and what kind of stuff you like. Now, this robot manifests in the form of a fun quiz over there at stitchfix.com slash JJ Go. Yeah, and the robot is best friends with a personal stylist who's an actual human being. They work together to handpick stuff that you might like, and you can either have them make a little store for you to shop from, from stuff that they already think you'll like, or send you a little shipment of cool stuff and you can return as much of it as you like absolutely for free. And it is actually genuinely easy to return anything you don't want. They even put the envelope in there for you. All you got to do is

drop it in a slot. Yeah, it is a really fun, easy, and convenient way to shop. The quiz is a blast, and I got my beloved bird shirt from them, a shirt that always gets me a compliment most recently from a cool teen in the drive-thru at Popeye's. Wow. Yeah. I mean, that's where many of the coolest teens hang. Oh, yeah. He was working at Popeye's. Oh, okay. I was going to say, like, if they're hanging it in the drive-thru, that's probably a disgraced former pastor or something like that. That's somebody whose life is broken down. Yeah.

No, this is a teen who's gainfully employed at Popeye's, building character there, learning the value of a hard day's work. And the taste of a great flaky biscuit. Oh, yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, Stitch Fix, I genuinely love using it. I think you will too. Get on over there and take the quiz. Sign up today at stitchfix.com slash JJGO to get $20 off your first purchase. That's stitchfix.com slash JJGO to get $20 off your first purchase. Limited time offer. Purchase within two days of sign up.

Now, Jordan, there are many sizes of dose. Yes. Today, I'd like with you to focus on the micro size. It's one of the smaller, perhaps not the smallest. It's a littler dose. Not nano dosing. Listen, the folks at Lumi Labs have a micro dose gummy that delivers the perfect entry level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good. Jesse, I'm microdosing with LumiLabs. I love these little guys. Edibles can be unpredictable, hard to tell how much stuff, how much you're getting, no what, but these things really are just a little kiss, a little kiss for your brain. I like to pop one if I'm having a little trouble sleeping, if I've had a stressful day. It is really just a great way to chill,

I think. If my brain needs a kiss, I go and I grab one of the great flavors. Wild berries, one of my favorites. Go grab one of those, pop it in there. I say, oh, daddy kissy. Listen, you don't have to say daddy kissy while you're enjoying the LumiLabs microdose, but you can. You can say it. There's no law that says you can't say daddy kissy. You won't be arrested. Well, you microdose with LumiLabs.

A microdose is available nationwide. To learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code JJGO to get free shipping and, and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description. But again, that's microdose.com code JJGO. And remember when you pop that microdose, daddy kissing. You don't have to say, you can't, you can say it, I guess. we'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective mark ennick shambling vortex. He was ready. He was there with that Borges level shit. Marquez level shit.

Hey guys, I have a momentous occasion. Nothing momentous has happened to me in a long time, but something momentous happened, which is I took my eight-year-old home to San Francisco, which is Jordan. I don't know if you knew that. That's where I actually, where I grew up. No, it stayed the same, right? Or has it changed a lot recently? I know it's exactly the same, which is why I'm going to share with you some stories from my childhood that you've heard a bunch of times. I took my son to San Francisco with me. We went and did some fun San Francisco stuff, went to the aquarium, went to the ball

game. But the highlight of it was, I mean, you know, Jordan, that I have, Mark, you may not know, I have a tiny Japanese van. It's called a Subaru Sambar. And it's very, very small and very distinctive, very unusual in California. And there is this internet guy who is into these cars. His name is Todd. And he is like our friend, Jenny Jardin Mark Fraunfelder or Matt Howey. He's like an original blog internet celebrity, you know, like a Gen X cool nerd. Buddy Holly frames. The whole nine yards. Doc Martin. I'm sorry. This is just way before my time. I apologize. I'm not getting any of this. Well, you are three years younger than us. You're a Gen Z icon. So this dude made his bones, became famous on the internet because he figured out that if he registered a corporation and bought a magnet for the side of his van, he could park in

commercial loading areas in downtown San Francisco. So he's known as Telstar Logistics because that was the name of the company that he made up to park and loading zones. And a real nice dude. And just like three, four days before I went down to San Francisco, he tweeted at me. He said, hey, if you ever want to borrow my Japanese fire truck, let me know. If you have any Japanese fires to put out. Yeah, if you got anything. So I messaged him. I was like, I mean, I don't mean to be greedy here, but I'm going to be in San Francisco on Saturday. Where do you live? He lives like six blocks from my mom. I'm like, I'm going to have my eight-year-old with me and my mom. Can we borrow your Japanese fire truck? Yeah. Where do you go in a Japanese fire truck? Takes

a couple of times around the block or do you go through a drive-thru? Yes, Mark. Sorry, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I just have a really important question, which is what does the siren sound like? Okay, so he... Japan, Japan, says Japan. He has recorded genuinely impressively. I mean, this is like a real commitment to the bit situation, but it plays like a regular siren sound. Like it has a siren and, you know, it has one of those like walkie talkie things. And I jokingly said to him that if I had a real

PA on top of my car, all I would do is go around and say, the Blues Brothers show band and review Lake Wasapamata. And he said, well, actually, then he goes boop, boop, boop and presses play. And he has recorded for the city of San Francisco, where he has had a Japanese woman with a beautiful voice, record an extensive Japanese language Godzilla warning. That is absolutely tremendous. She did a great job. It's fantastic. So at any time you want to, you can just play the Japanese. And I didn't play anything.

you can just play the Japanese. And I didn't play anything. I didn't want to like get pulled over in somebody else's Japanese van because I was playing, you know, super hyphy through the speaker or something. I'm like, whenever you want to, that is literally every second of every day, it seems like. I mean, like, I feel like that is, that's too much leeway. That's way too much leeway. All I wanted in the world. But what was great is, so my mom has a dog that doesn't go anywhere without her. She doesn't go anywhere without it. And she drove us over to Todd's house to pick up this Japanese fire truck. And I assumed she was going to get back in her car and drive back to her house while my son and I drove around in the fire truck.

But she was like, oh, no, I'm riding in the fire truck, too. And I was like, well, there's only two seats in the fire truck. And Todd says, well, actually, there's four seats behind the cab of the firetruck. And this firetruck is like the size of a Miata, maybe. Like it's as tiny as a small car you can imagine. There's two backwards facing jump seats, like outdoors backwards facing jump seats sandwiched between the cab and the pump. And my mom is like, well, that's where I want to sit. And so my almost 80 year old mother and her dog climb up into this open backwards facing jump seat in the back of the tiny Japanese fire truck and fucking are like, yeah, let's go hit the gas, son.

I want to ride in the back of a fire truck. Is there fire fighting tools in it? Like if God forbid you came upon a fire, could the truck do something about it? A hundred percent. I mean, the truck is not sentient. It would need my help. Right. It's not some sort of Autobot or Decepticon. Or your mother's help, obviously. The thing about a Japanese fire truck, and apparently Todd told me this is true of like large Japanese fire trucks as well as tiny ones, is they don't have tanks. So American fire trucks have a tank of water. In Japan, they either connect to a standpipe or they just pump water

from the surrounding area just because rural Japan is so full of rice paddies and much of Japan is, you know, marshy or, you know, semi-aquatic or whatever. So there's just standing water around. So they have a pump, but no tank. So I would have to find a reservoir or a bathtub or something if I wanted to do something. I mean, I could yell at it or I could do that Blues Brothers thing, you know, the thing where Lake Wasapamata and see if that, I mean, maybe the fire is excited to see Cab Calloway. If the fire is of a certain age, it would probably laugh itself out. But if it's like a younger fire, it probably doesn't even know what that's from, you know? Younger fires just have no respect for the classics.

It's just... Yeah, younger fires only want to hear quotes from Hocus Pocus. Yeah, younger fires want to hear from Yocus Pocus. Yeah, that's true. It's not called Yocus Pocus. Anyway, that's it. I just drove around in Japanese fire truck. I'm glad to hear that you've joined the community of weird car eccentrics.

Love it. I love this life. How long do you think before you're cruising around Studio City in a jalopy with Leno? Can I tell you what? I was stopped at a stoplight here in Northeast Los Angeles the other day. Pulls up next to me is like a Saab from from 1968, you know, and inside is a guy who couldn't have looked more like Bernie Sanders. Like if you imagine a more slovenly Bernie Sanders and he engaged me in an in-depth conversation that was the only premise of which was, hey, look at us, a couple of weird old men with weird cars. Like we're the kind of auto enthusiast that doesn't choose a cool one.

Just I just take you inside, you know, your psyche at that moment. Were you excited or was there any resistance to being like, these are now my people? No, I love that the gates to the afterlife had opened to me and I could just blunder through my death and into a low horsepower heaven, a no crumple zone heaven. My son was in the back of the van and he's yelling and he's eight years old, but he's mocks me relentlessly. He's yelling in the front seat and he's just going, dad, dad, tell him it has 50 horsepower. Dad, tell him it has 50 horsepower. Was this a thrill for your, like, is your son a truck kid to the point where like,

this was like an all time, I'll remember this for the rest of my life thrill? He, I think for the most part, that's something that fades around age five. And he wasn't ever exactly that. But like, realistically, if he had not had that reaction to it, I would have had to get a different kid or one less kid. New son. Because I had already gotten Russ really good tickets to the baseball game that night. But like, how many levels above that is going for a ride on a tiny fire truck?

is going for a ride on a tiny fire truck. Like, other than having my own team of Ghostbusters, maybe? Yeah. How could I possibly... Sure. Having gone to college with Willy Wonka. And, you know, like, speaking of the... Like, I keep trying to tell him that my friend Hodgman is in Minecraft story mode, and that is not connected with him. This fire truck didn't work. I mean, Jordan, you know this story, and Jordan Just To Go with him. This fire truck didn't work. I mean, Jordan, you know this story and Jordan Just to Go listeners know, but like one of the great disappointments of my life was once when I was running for the bus, the Muni bus for elementary

school, I was cut off at the bus stop by a fire truck that parked in the bus stop and it went past and the firefighters noticed and they offered to take me the rest of the way to school in the fire truck. And it wasn't very far. So I declined because I froze and panicked. And I said, no, that's okay. And then they drove away. And I immediately knew that I had made the biggest mistake of my life because I could have gotten a ride to school in a fire truck.

And this was my like. There you go. Life finds a way. Life finds a way. Mark, you a truck kid, dinosaur kid, horse kid? No, I was mostly a, you know know alone in my room reading books kid um that was that was more my speed and to this day continues uh have very few hobbies or interests or uh it's mostly just i sit in this box and wait to be called upon to do something and that's about something. And that's about what I have going.

Beautiful. All we did as children was read novels. And our files are still mixed up, Jordan, just like Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler. Yes, we'll have to call. Or Amelia Bedelia. Thank you. When something momentous happens to you, we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN, or just send us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Here's one momentous occasion call. Hi, Jordan.

Hi, Jesse. Hi, Jeff. Margaret Nashville. Oh, and because I just saw one of those German license plates that people put for fun on the front of their car, and this one said, eat ass. Have a nice day. That's a little something called southern hospitality. So, wait.

Okay. Did she say a German license plate that people... Yeah, the German license plate that people put on the front of their car. I don't think I know what this is. Jordan, you know those German license plates that people put on the front of their car? I don't. Yeah. Maybe. Well, you know, like... I don't. Well, what kind of license plate would you put on the front of your car, French?'t. Yeah. Maybe. Well, you know, I don't. Well, what kind

of license plate would you put on the front of your car, French? I mean, I think just the one I'm legally required to from the Slovak date. And it would just be, I don't have a personalized one, so it'd just be kind of a random collection of letters and numbers. No, I think people put on the front of their car, they put German license plates. What was this? Wait, what is this? Help. I feel like I'm being gaslit and I don't like it. What is this about? I'm just yes anding Margaret from Asheville because that is some bananas nonsense I've

never heard in my entire life. It may be because we live in a state that requires front and back license plates. Could be. Could be. So this is clearly at least a trend in whatever pocket dimension she lives in. Asheville, North Carolina. Which is apparently full of millennials. They love eating ass.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, my German license plate says avocado toast. Excuse me, I need to book a plane ticket to Asheville. Sorry, Asheville? Is that funny? Yeah, sure. Why not? Cool.

Yeah, I think so. I'll eat it. Thank you. So I guess in Asheville, if we're putting this together, you can have your regular legal license plate and then just a funny German one on the front? Do you think it has to be German? I don't know. This is making me feel insane.

This whole thing. There's some legal loophole where it has to be German based on some sort of strange treaty that was signed after. Well, that's the only one that could be German. They will not accept Swedish. It was part of the reunification program in the early 1990s. Or is this a slow invasion? They just thought that it eventually just eventually annex our cars by making this a trend. You got to start at the front and work your way back.

I hate this. I hate how I'm feeling right now. Or you got to start at the back and work your way front. If you know what I'm talking about. Sure. Yeah. Eating ass now. I switched. That's fine. To ass eating. I mean, it's probably more fun than silence, but I couldn't tell you that for sure. Hard to say. I guess we'll never know. Daniel, we got another call in there. Jordan, have you heard John Cage's podcast? It's spectacular. Go ahead and press play, Daniel.

Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and Go. This is Whitney in Santee, California. I have a momentous occasion. I have a momentous occasion I was just watching an episode of Bar Rescue that just came on super randomly I literally never watch that show but it was taking place in El Cajon and that's like 10 minutes from me and I've lived in El Cajon most of my life so I was like what the heck I guess I'll watch this episode

and then a couple minutes into it I see freaking Jordan there um so yeah that's my momentous occasion uh not momentous for most people i'm sure but i thought it was pretty cool love the show guys bye i think it'd be momentous for most people yeah not all no not all i mean you would have to know who i was yeah like but if if it was, for example, Jill Biden, I think she'd be pretty fucking stoked. Sure. Yeah. I mean, obviously, I think we talked about this on the show when it happened, but because Bar Rescue is such a heavily rerun show, basically, it is all the Paramount Network shows when they're not showing Yellowstone. Once in a while, they'll show Big or something.

Yeah. A couple times a month, we'll get somebody hitting me up because they saw the episode of Bar Rescue I was on with Matt Myra, where we were the recon guys. If you've ever seen that show, the first part, a bar's failing, nightlife expert, John Taffer, a mean dad who owns one sport coat comes in, he tells him to shut it down. He fixes the bar, gives it a new TGI Friday's coat of paint. I think he thinks bar employees are lazy because of unemployment insurance or something. Yeah. John Taffer has had some bad takes that he's kind of walked back. I think, you know, I think we can just say that while I enjoy the kind of perfect reality television package that is bar rescue i maybe don't support

all of john taffer's beliefs that he may or may not have walked back whatever what you're saying is that you think there should be fungus on the lines yes i think all chicken nuggets should have mold on them okay good i just want to make sure i had that clear uh yeah it's just it's one of these weird things where yeah uh our past guest, Scott Gerardner, texted me the other day. He's like, holy shit, your Bar Rescue is on. And yeah, this really proves to me how many people just turn that shit on on Sunday morning and leave it on while they do chores.

I have a question, Jordan. Yes. Of the following three, what do you get the most texts about? Yeah. Bar Rescue. Probably that one. Go ahead. Scandal.

Okay. Or All About Steve. Ah, oh, interesting. Yes. My three one. Go ahead. Scandal. Okay. Or All About Steve. Ah, oh, interesting. Yes. My three credits. Three credits. I mean, literally no one has ever watched the episode of Comedy Bang Bang I was on. No offense to that very funny episode of Comedy Bang Bang or to Super Dave,

who was the guest star on that. Oh. Which of those? Because I know like Scandal at the time was one of television's most popular programs. Yeah, I think Scandal was big. And then I think it definitely had a moment where like it got put on a streaming service, Netflix or something, and like everybody binged it. And then I had like a recurrence of, oh, my God, you had two lines in an episode of Scandal. Yeah, it's a club I'm in with Hari Kondabalu, where we each get three,

$4 checks a year from our two lines in Scandal. It might even be the same episode. And then, yeah. And then I have a couple of lines in the famous Sandra Bullock debacle, all about Steve. And that, yeah, I think that kind of had a similar thing where like, I don't think anybody I knew saw it in theaters, but like, I think it had a lot of cable life. And then I think it got dumped onto a streaming service at some point and I got a little bit more, but that Bar Rescue has just been constantly on TV since it shot. And I think it plays four times a month and I did not get paid for it. And I do not get a little tiny check every time it reruns. So I got to say, when I got cast on Archer, it somehow changed my union status. I'm still not a SAG member, but it changed my union status.

And one of the big positive things that Mark brought to my life, besides giving me lines on my favorite show, is I got like a $160 residual check from that time I was on Comedy Bang Bang. It was like one of those things where like a musician becomes a recluse until a fan tracks them down to get their ass cap royalties. Like I think that whoever sends out the checks. Yeah, they sugar manned you. You got sugar manned. What a dream to be sugar manned by Mark Gannick. We've all dreamed of being sugar manned by Gannick. Mark, do you have like something you've worked on that you would say is like your most famous thing i mean archer is obviously like a huge fucking show that every comedy nerd that's your actual professional a compliment yeah that's i mean that's i mean

that's basically what it is and then so what generally how it works is that it'll someone will see my name on a show not knowing i haven't spoken to in you know 20 years you know what i mean since high school usually it breaks down like know, sort of like it'll be like, oh, my God, I saw your name. And then it very quickly becomes like an insult. You know what I mean? Like basically, I know this. I know this thing.

Yeah. Where it'll be like, wow, like that's that's amazing. And then there's like usually some comment that's amounts to like, you weren't funny. What happened? And then I think about all the horrible things I'm going to say to this person and then just write, thank you. And then I go about my day because I'm a coward. Yeah. You have a lot of really good, look at all these fucking good credits. I'm looking at Gannix IMDB. I really thought I would immediately find something very

embarrassing. What do we got here? What are we talking? This guy was on fucking Infomania. That's where Aaron Gibson got famous. Oh yeah, sure. A very funny show. I was on an episode of Info War playing Cabal member number three. My embarrassing credits generally don't make it to IMDb. When you're talking about Bar Rescue, there was a while where I worked for what I call the daily show, but circuit where it would just be like the daily show, but nerd, the daily show, but black, the daily show. But I wrote, I wrote for all of those shows. And the one that was without a doubt, the worst one I did was for the food network where they were trying to do a daily show for the food network, hot takes and hot plates. See, we could have used you back then. That's we didn't even have that.

And so I'm here. I'm available. I'm available. And the thing is, is that, you know, like like you say that that network is entirely reruns. And so, you know, like so we're we're basically trying to do our best and just like looking at each other while we sink into the mire like the horse from Never Ending Story. And like and then this directive came down. That's like you can only talk about shows on our network. You can't make fun of them. And it has to be whatever new episodes we have this week.

And so we're like, first of all, that is a none of that makes any sense at all. And I think we were the first people to count how many new episodes there were on Food Network per week. And it was two. There was two. There were two new episodes. So you just your show is showing one of the episodes. Basically, we have to show them at basically twice speed. And then our show was done.

That show never, never quite made air. Strangely enough. A celebration of these episodes. Yes, indeed. And then, you know, that's also when like, when you get like the reality show guy making a comedy show for the first time, that's always a really fun proposition. And I like, I am, I'm really way too accommodating. And like, I'm always trying to do the best job I can when I absolutely I'm like, this

is a sinking ship. You should not be doing that. You didn't have to kiss Paula Deen. It was the one maybe the one time I've ever just totally snapped on a boss, which is where like he was like, we're going to do like this, like roundup of food news. And he's like, make it like, you know, like weekend update. I'm like, all right, fine. So like, you know, go off and I write this thing and I come back.

He's like, oh, this isn't quite right. Can you do more of the daily show? And I i'm like all right fine so like you know go off and i write this thing and i come back he's like ah this isn't quite right can you do more of the daily show and i'm like all right and so like go back go off and i write and i come back and then he's like ah i'm still maybe we can make it you know like more like the snl opening monologue i was literally like i was like you gotta tell me what you want like i can't i cannot give this to you and then he said the words that every comedy writer loves to hear which is like i'll know it when i see it uh at which point i had an out-of-body experience and what i remember shouting at him is let me give you one of everything in the universe how does that sound you went full fucking noah on his ass oh god i yeah my uh my contract was not renewed for that show. My one of those that also has never made it to air, thank goodness, is I got hired to write for a compliment show to a popular military shooter game. They wanted to do a clip show based on people streaming their hyper-violent military shooter. So we start going around for clips of

something noteworthy happening on a Twitch stream. And we compiled these clips. And they're like, okay, none of these work for us. You can't show anyone who the audience would consider a bro. And you can't show anyone getting mad. And I'm like, well's i just had no clue who their audience was what actually happens on twitch just like had this weird idea that somehow people would be doing original comedy pieces while they were streaming this hyper violent military shooter anyway sometimes jobs are bad that is you know if we can take anything away from this, I think what we want people to learn is that sometimes jobs are bad. They are. I actually, I worked, Jordan, on a very similar project. It was going to be like a fun clip show based on baseball mogul. And one day the executive

producer comes in and he says, you're not allowed to show any static screens of tables of baseball statistics. Right. And I'm like, do you even, do you even, have you ever played your own game? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. It could happen to you. You're all grown up now. A professional adult with diverse interests and hobbies. And one of those hobbies is video games. You just can't help it. They're so good now. If that's you, we're here to tell you, you are completely normal.

I'm Maddie Myers. I'm Jason Schreier. And I'm Kirk Hamilton. And together we form TripleClick, a podcast about video games. If you think you might be a person who likes video games, we hope you'll give TripleClick a listen. TripleClick, new episodes every Thursday on Maximum Fun. Hey kid, your dad tell you about the time he broke Stephen Dorff's nose at the Kids' Choice Awards? In Dead Pilots Society, scripts that were developed by studios and networks but were never produced are given the table reads they deserve.

When I was a kid, I had to spend my Christmas break filming a PSA about angel dust. So, yeah, being a kid sucks sometimes. Presented by Andrew Reich and Ben Blacker. Dead Pilots Society, twice a month on MaximumFun.org. You know, the show you like, that hobo with the scarf who lives in a magic dumpster. Doctor Who. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Organic iridescent tombstone. This guy's ready. Can I just, before we say goodbye to Mark and talk about Archer one more time, I just want to do a quick little aside about the Bar Rescue episode that I forgot to add while we were talking about it. It's that you don't stand behind anything that Matt Myra says. No, I know. Listen, Matt Myra is from a different time. He's like two years younger than me or something. He's playing a character on the show. Yeah. He has to have heightened.

Yeah. No. Anyway. So most bars in Bar Rescue close before the episode airs. But the one that I was on the episode for, it is now called The Study. I think it was called The Poor House, P-O-U-R House. And it's one of the few Bar Rescue bars that's still open. And kind of the premise of the episode was that it was haunted. And that's why the owner was neglecting it is because he was too afraid of the ghosts. If anybody is in the like san diego-ish area i'd love to hear how that bar's doing so yeah i'd love a momentous occasion from i'm excited about this so if anybody's in the area and can visit the formerly haunted bar from my episode of bar rescue i think we'd love to hear

how it is uh 206-984-4 fun yeah and if. And if anybody's in the Carlsbad area and just wants to go to Tip Top Meats, the German delicatessen where you just point at the meat you want and then they cook it for you and then make it into a schnitzel or whatever. If you could just go there and then call me and just tell me what it's like because I miss it. This could be an evening. Grab your sweetie. Fill them with meat. Go get a little haunted beer afterwards

that's a night you're getting laid after that my friend somebody drop a line to new san diego padre juan soto i think he's going to want to hear about this romantic night we've got planned for him and his honey it involves pointing at some meat having it cooked up as some schnitzel and maybe a few european haribo's then head out to the study for some moldy limes three-way with matt myra and then grab a german license plate for the front of your car on the way home what the fuck is that about eat ass it says ass eat ass it shouldn't say that you see the thing that's funny about is that it shouldn't say that places plates shouldn't say that and so but then it does is there a german phrase it's like it etas? Etas, mein Frienden? Etas. I was thinking about this and I feel like if the Stasi,

the East German secret police had eaten more ass, maybe the Berlin Wall would have fallen a lot earlier. That's true. Or much later. I mean, maybe they were, they would have been, you know. Communism would have seemed way better because of the rectal stimulation. Absolutely. Mr. Gorbachev, eat out my ass. Sure, why not? You guys ever go there and trade ass eating for American blue jeans? I guess. I don't know.

Yeah, we could probably do this for another 20 minutes. Oh, we're out of time. We're out of time. Oh, no. Oh, we're out of time. Something, something, something something something something something something something we are the music is love you by the free design courtesy the free design and light in the attic records watch archer the day this episode comes out is the day it becomes available on hulu so watch that that shit. It's my favorite show for real. And it is genuinely, actually, truly the highlight of my entire career. Like, sorry. Number two to interviewing David Letterman. Number one, interviewing David Letterman. Number two, getting to be a voice on Archer. And that's actually, I think, sincere.

And number three, our seventh Chris Fairbanks episode. Oh, man, that was a good one. Was that the one where he told us about how he was turning his bedroom forest theme? That's the one. Yeah. Oh, man, that's a good one. He's a gifted artist. Well, I want to say like, I just like, look, I've listened to you guys for a long time. And I was just so excited to actually come on the show, which is, you know, which is why it's, you know, so odd that I hated it so much. Yeah, it's just it's I mean, it's not any weirder than a guy that's fucking handsome becoming a comedy writer look at this guy jordan look at this gannick right here fine tight haircut too this guy's got two kids he's probably had sex more than two times for

all i know oh yeah it's uh it's it's it's close honestly i'd have to check my records it's neck and neck and just uh i would like to dispel this notion right now i think my look is the best described as like the worst person your sister ever dated. I feel like that's like there's there's there's something really sinister about it. And I understand that there's not really much I can do about it. It's fair. You look like the kind of guy who would get a German license plate for the front of his car that says don't eat ass. That is the kind of guy.

Fucking shady as hell. That's my face. That's not that's not my personality. Yeah. Yeah, obviously. Daniel Zafran, our producer. That's my face. That's not my personality. Yeah. Yeah, obviously. Daniel Zafran, our producer. Producer Emeritus Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. Love you by the free design or theme music.

Maximumfun.reddit.com is where you can find us on Reddit. Hashtag it JJGo on Twitter. Hey, Jordan, I am dead serious about people fucking writing lyrics to the factory song. Do it. Send that shit in. JJGoatmaximumfun.org. You could win a Grammy. If all you have is an E-yacht,

this could be your ticket. That's true. We could help you G. Okay, that's it. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan and Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. love you