Jordan, Jesse, GO! - It's A Dry Heat, with Fritz Coleman

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

This week we are honored to welcome famed LA weatherman and comedian Fritz Coleman to the podcast, where we discuss the weather, his credit in the movie Anchorman, and so much more. Watch Fritz Coleman's comedy special right now on Tubi.Jordan wrote a brand new graphic novel called Youth Group which you can pre-order now from Mill Street Books.Get your tickets to see Jesse Thorn and John Hodgman on the Van Freaks Road Show Tour 2023. Try Stitch Fix today at StitchFix.com/JJGO and you’ll get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix.If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Doe. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. So, of course, you're in the business of ideas, Jordan. That's right. And I have an idea and a half for you, my friend. This is the moneymaker. I'm pointing to my brain.

Oh, I thought you were pointing to your frosted tips. Yeah. Well, I am a tip model. You got to have a side hustle these days. Not a lot of folks out there with natural tips like you have from the water at the public pool. I mean, here's just a little something about being a tip model. Yeah. And of course- Is this a tip model tip? This is a tip tip. Okay. I call it, we call it just a tip model. Yeah. And of course, you know, Is this a tip model tip? This is a tip tip.

Okay. I call it, this is like, we call it just a tip. So, you know, like when, you know, a big celebrity

has to do a, you know, a nude scene. Yeah. And maybe they don't, you know, want to do it themselves. There'll be a,

you know, a body double. Right. So if Mark McGrath needs his hair photographed, I show up. Right. McGrath takes off the hat. Mark McGrath needs his hair photographed, I show up. McGrath takes off the hat. Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray, right?

He grabs the brim of the hat. The director yells, cut. I slide in there for the tip shot. Okay, got it. The tip off. Do you stay for the reverse too? Oh, yeah. When the other actor in the scene needs to act to the tip?

Yes. The guy from Third Eye Blind. This is a fictional movie where stars of 90s alternative rock radio act in anxiety. Star in a feature film together as enemies or friends. Are they friends or enemies in the movie? It's an enemies to lovers situation. Very romantic. Classic YA trope.

Okay. What are we talking about? We were talking about the world of ideas, Jordan. Which I love. As you know, I've been on tour with John Hodgman and had a great time. Thank you to the whole Midwest and Austin, Texas. We had a great fucking time. And on my way out, I was flying to Lexington, Kentucky, known the world over as the city of horse statues.

It's called that because they have a lot of horse statues and no other things. Nothing else going on in Lexington, Kentucky. I mean, if you have to have one thing. Yeah, you'd want horse statues, right? Sure. A lot of worse things to have. I'm flying to Lexington, Kentucky via Charlotte. worst things to have? I'm flying to Lexington, Kentucky via Charlotte and I'm on the plane and there's like a, so maybe 30, I'm going to say 31 year old guy sitting next to me. It kind of an

intense LA look to him. And he's bent. Like he has LA looks gel in his hair. He looks sort of like a jug of LA looks gel that you buy at the 99 cent store. He's purple and translucent. He's got a, he's, you know, he looks, he looks like a guy who has a, let's say he's got a grind set. Sure. Okay. So he's leaning forward in his,

in his chair on the airplane to the point where his head is like touching the seat in front of us. And I don't want you to think that he's like stooped. It's like an intense crouch over his phone. He's like shooting lasers into his phone with his eyes. Like a full grind set. This guy could do 100 burpees right then in the aisle of the airplane with the intensity coming out of his eyes.

Sure. So I'm thinking, what is he? I mean, I'm not a snoop. But you want to know. But I wanted to know what he was looking at. And you're right next to this guy? I'm right next to this guy. You're in the seat next to this guy.

I'm in the seat next to this guy. And again, he's hunched over. So the phone is low. Right. So it's in my line. I can't help but see it. So I really hope the punchline to this is he's just playing Pokemon Go. Just a really intense.

This fucker found a Squirtle right there on Southwest. White knuckle game of Pokemon Go. Okay. So he is crouched over his phone. And I look sort of just around a little bit. And I see he's in his Notes app. And the headline on his Notes app is just all capital letters, Book Idea. Oh, boy.

And I'm like, oh, I got to find out. I don't know. I got to find out what this guy's book idea is. Go down about half the screen. There's a lot of line breaks. Go down about half the screen. There's a lot of line breaks. Go down about half the screen. And then in bold underline and quotation marks, it says, my life so far. And then what?

That's it. No, that's all that's there. That's his book idea. Pretty good. His book idea is his life so far. Looking at him, does it seems like the man has has lived well i'll tell you this life worthy of book also in that same pre-takeoff period this is only a 20 minute period 15 how long is it between when you sit down when the plane takes off

you have to put your phone away this guy was getting out the mail and there's just this point where i look over at him and i can see he's sending a text message and the text message says well technically force well technically we wouldn't need two girls for four scenes eight girls total wow and i'm like well maybe i want to read his, presumably his pornography autobiography. I don't know what he's up to. Wow. I do want to hear about his life so far. It was really, anyway, I just thought since you're, of course, you're an author, you've

got the new book, Youth Group, coming up. Yes. Available for pre-order now. Thank you. You're a member of the Writers Guild of America, WGA. Sure. The union makes us strong. Solidarity forever.

That you might be interested. Don't forget, IOTC Local 839. Yeah. I thought you might be interested in taking that idea. And of course, I'm glad to share it with you because I am SAG eligible. Amazing. Thank you. Matt, would you go ahead and book the guy Jesse was sitting next to on the plane for

next week? You got it. I'll figure it out. Yeah. Okay. Great. Just hack into the Southwest computers while we're waiting. He's hacking. That's the sound of hacking.

They don't really use computers. They just have a yellow legal notepad. Oh, okay. Really? Steal it. Yeah. No, I'll go get it. Assemble a crew.

I did go. I went to this with me and Hodgman when we were in Madison, Wisconsin. Wild scene in Madison, Wisconsin, where there was a- I've heard. I've never been. Very nice town. Yeah. Nice college town, but going completely apeshit because there was a football game,

and our hotel rooms at the La Quinta Inn, 10 miles outside town, were $500 a night. Oh, God. Because of the Iowa-Wisconsin game. But we went to this kind of old school steakhouse for dinner called the Tornado Room. Oh, it was a good choice? It was a fucking tremendous place. The guy remembered Hodgman's drink order from five years previous.

No way. Yes, that's a steakhouse waiter for you. It was a very, very special experience. And why did I start talking about this? I don't know. Yeah, neither do I. Anyway, we had a great time. We had a great time. You describe a steak you ate. I had a reason, but God only knows what it was. God only knows what it was. Well, should we introduce our guest? Maybe he knows why I brought up Madison, Wisconsin. Our guest on the program is a legend of Los Angeles media.

I'm not afraid to say it. I'm not either. I'll agree with you. You're correct. And a lot of people think that just because someone's a legend means that they've put the capstone on their legacy. But the reality is this guy's still building his legacy toward the sky. He is.

He is. And not only, Jordan, a lot of people think he's he's a legend of los angeles media and exclusively no he's also a legend of jordan jessico because he's right he has a special place in one of one of the five stories one of the five stories we've told on this show in the last 15 years of doing it yes uh he is uh uh he for for literal decades was the weatherman on nbc4 here in los angeles and uh he has returned to the stage uh he was on the stage while weather manning as well but he has returned to the stage in his retirement with his new special unassisted living which is both on to be and live in person here in the Los Angeles area at the El Portal Theater.

Fritz Coleman, what a joy to have you. Boy, that was fantastic. Thank you. Now, Fritz, first question. I'm sure everyone asks you this. Why did I bring up that steakhouse I went to in Madison? Well, I don't know, but you're a great storyteller. I have two questions. I want to find out, does John Hodgman do tours with his podcast? Yes, I'm his sidekick on that show.

That's fantastic. He's such an amusing, talented man. And tell me about your book. Oh, sure, yes. It is a graphic novel. And thank you both for allowing me to plug. No, no. I love this

this is called Deflection because my life is not nearly as interesting as apparently yours is in the time since we worked together Fritz and we'll get to that I've pivoted away from acting and toward writing as Jesse said

the world of imagination and ideas it comes out through my pen I'm not in control the muse guides me at the world of imagination and ideas, it comes out through my pen. I'm not in control. The muse guides me. At the end of the day, it's about communing with the muse. Yes. Writing is. Yes.

Now, obviously, you're a writer. I don't need to explain this to you, but you're sort of a vessel for the muse. Mine's on a daily hire basis. Right. So you just bring them in as necessary. I don't have one on retainer I use the app economy personally I pay my muse in appetizers

it's M-U-Z yes so I wrote a graphic novel that is coming out next year it's called Youth Group it is a spooky YA horror comedy about teenage exorcists um the arts by the great bowen mcgrady it's available for pre-order now uh yeah so i was uh i've done some comic books that's a great accomplishment thank you thank you um i guess i shouldn't mention uh

fritz we have this show has been going on for 15 years and it's basically a weekly reshuffling of five or six stories. Yeah. Just a couple things that happened to me in San Francisco as a child. Me listing a couple of guys from the 1989 San Francisco Giants. Yes. Is there anything else? Well, I think my greatest of the five stories is the time when I got to be in a commercial for the NBC4 Weather with you.

And this is like right, right. You know, I had been in L.A. for a year. I think I was spotted on an improv team. I think that's how I got the gig. Yeah, I don't know if – Matt, do we have the audio of the commercial? Oh, we have it. Are you okay? Do you want to listen to it? I'm fine.

I'm fine. Let's do it. I can't get fired or it can't hurt me now. I'm retired. Shoot. Yeah, let's hear it, Matt. So I'm looking for some gnarly waves this weekend. I was thinking I may be going south.

Hold on. Can you pause that for a second? Is that Fritz? No, that's me. You sound different. You sound really different. I guess I should say, too, I am in a wetsuit and holding a surfboard. Anyway.

And you look like an adorable baby. Laguna, what do you think? No. No burrito. I'd head north. You're going to have a pumping northwest swell up along Ventura County coast. I mean, gnarly ten-footers if you're lucky. Nice.

I love you, NBC4. What? What? For whether you can realize what's going on. That was kind of fun. You know, because it was different. I was not believable saying those surf words, but you were great. You were very believable as the surfer. Thank you.

No, it's nice of you to say. No, hold on. Sorry. I'm not going to. Look, I appreciate everyone of you to say. No, hold on. Sorry. I'm not going to. Look, I appreciate everyone's going to say. Jesse, that commercial is a classic. Everyone's going to say. It ran during the Olympics.

My mom saw it. Okay. And it's on YouTube. And it's on YouTube. Okay. Thousands of views on this thing. Here's what I, I thought everybody was very believable. Fritz, even you.

I thought even you were very believable. Fritz, even you. I thought even you were very believable. Obviously, Jordan has had a long career as a celebrated actor. He was in the movie All About Steve. Thank you. But I thought everybody was great in the commercial. I just have

one question. This is something that's been eating at me in the 15 years or whatever it's been since that commercial was made. Try 30 years. Yeah. Close. Probably close. So the last line of that is, I love you, NBC4's Prince Coleman.

Is that something you improvised? That's where people stop suspending their disbelief. That's where it went away. But it was fun. It was different. Listen, we did those spots, the individual ones that you were with. And then Fred Rogan, the sports guy, and I did them. And they were goofy and they were funny and they were slapstick.

But they were different. And they really, I'll tell you, I've been in broadcasting my whole career. I never really had an opinion about the power of advertising, whether it was worth all these sponsors spending thousands of dollars for a 30-second spot, whether it worked. But I'm telling you, I was on the receiving end of how successful marketing can be with that. We had another one. It was later than that. You had already launched into your career after that on the heels of my giving you your break. Thank you, by the way. You're very welcome.

But they had a spot called Fritz Said It Would Be Like This. And it was just that line. There were no pictures. There was no video. And they bought billboards that said Fritz Said It Would Be Like This. And that was 35 years ago and old ladies Still come up to me. I'm in Vons with my pajama bottoms and I'm buying You know fruit that hasn't expired in a way French Santa would be like and I mean

To this day they remember that yeah, and then and then I'll get off of this No, no Fritz said it would be like this came out at a time when When And then I'll get off of this. No, no, please. Fritz said it would be like this, came out at a time when, what's his name? Jimmy Carter's vice president. Walter Mondale. Fritz Mondale. So Fritz said it would be like this. Nobody knew what it was because nobody knew who I was.

I really didn't make an impression in the town yet. And I got written up in a conservative Orange County newspaper finally the media comes out and admits their left wing bent look at that they're coming out they bought a billboard that supports Fritz Mondale for president Fritz said it would be like this I mean what else do we need and it was great so somebody sent me this this this editorial in the newspaper so I autographed a photograph and sent them a fritz that it would be like this t-shirt. I said, thanks for the PR.

Yeah. I mean, those things were crazy, but it was fun and they spent a fortune on those things. On your salary and then a couple of the set pieces. Yeah, I think I got $200. Holy shit.

Holy crap, Jordan. And then all the cocaine I could snort. Yeah, so there was just a... At that shoot. There was so much. There's so much cocaine. Any local weather shoot, there's going to be cocaine. That's just how it works.

Oh, my God. Do you have a favorite one of those that you shot? Does one stand out? Other, and obviously leaving aside. Oh, no. That one was unbelievable. Fritz and Surfer did. But Rogan and I did some good ones.

And the first one that Fred and I did, we were benefits of the genius of a guy by the name of Vince Manzi, who, after he created our commercials locally, was the guy that went to NBC and came up with Must See Thursday and all these. I mean, he was like an iconic PR guy. It was just brilliant. And so he designed this series of spots where Fred and I were in constant competition with one another. Now, the twist is that Fred's the sports guy, so he should be good at sports. I'm the weather guy, so I should be a geek with pale skin that doesn't get a lot of direct sunlight. And I won every one of the competitions.

Like we would do dunking contests and it was all special effects. And then at the end I would strike him with lightning and his hair would be on fire. And it was just goofy. But it was so impactful. I mean, people love those things. So, whatever. I was pretty distra- Look, I enjoyed-

Fritz, I enjoyed your special unassisted living, but I was pretty disturbed to learn that you're a false meteorologist. To me, our country's greatest heroes are our meteorologists. Yes, yes. Okay. I believe in the science, Jordan. Every day at 8 p.m., you applaud out your window and bang pots and pans for our meteorologists. First of all, the premise of having a weatherman in a town with no weather immediately blows the thing. But no, I never proclaimed to be a meteorologist.

I was hired from the comedy store. Right. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. Oh, my gosh. I was hired from the comedy store. Right. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. Oh, my gosh. I'll tell you a story that's true. Real meteorologists, the people that you hang out with. Yeah, Jesse, you and all your meteorologist friends.

I usually, on Friday nights, find me down at the meteorology bar. Yeah. Well, they hate this story because there are guys that they've a windsock on their bike from the time they were five. And all they wanted to be was a major market weatherman. I did not set out to be a weatherman. So I came out here in 1980 to do comedy. And I did the open mics for a couple of years and finally became a paid regular at the comedy store. And my friend, who is the anchorman at Channel 4, John Beard,

said, hey, are you doing a show Friday night? I want to bring my boss and his wife down to see you. And I said, yes. So he came to see my show. God rest his soul. Steve Antonetti, I owe him my whole career. So John brought him down and I did my show. And I had talked on stage about I work for Armed Forces Radio and Television. And when I was in the Navy, I was forced to do the weather against my will. And I didn't know anything about weather. But that didn't seem to bother the Defense Department as long as I didn't use profanity. And my shoes were shined and I was respectful to my superiors. You know, they didn't care.

So I did my show and I got off stage and I went back to meet these people. And Steve Antonetti said, this is a really odd question, but do you have any desire to come to Channel 4 and do some vacation relief weather forecasting? I need a guy to fill in for my main guy. The main guy was Kevin O'Connell who took Pat Sajak's place when Pat went to do Wheel of Fortune.

And you'll be the weekend guy and you'll just have fun. And I said, you did hear me on stage say that I don't know anything about weather. Did you hear that? He said, there's no weather in California. I have 10 minutes about it. That's right. There's no weather in California. So this will be perfect. Just come and have fun. So I thought, oh my God, I was making $25 a set at the comedy store. I thought, this is a miracle. And can I

please carry your wife back to the car? Anything? Thank you. And so I auditioned the following week, got the weekend fill-in utility player job for two years. Then my predecessor left and went over to CBS and I was bumped up to the main guy and I retired two weeks shy of my 40th anniversary. I always say it's the greatest stroke of show business luck since that woman was discovered at Schwab's Pharmacy. That's what I tell everybody. I feel like something that is underrated in the annals of show business is that for 50-ish years, the only available jobs for someone funny on television were being the weekend weather guy or hosting the monster movie like that's it like those are the only choices it's like you're either elvira or fritz colman and that's the end i'm a little pissed about it throw some neck bolts on fritz

fritz i've always considered you deeply monstrous oh that's so funny. Well, anyway, I mean, I didn't set out to do it, but I had two kids, and I was like a middle act on the road, what they call a feature act in comedy clubs. So I was making $600 for a six-night gig and often having to pay for my own transportation. And I thought, my God, you know, my kids are going to have a stable life, so I took it. I felt a little guilt at having not been like Jay Leno and lived in my car for two months and all that stuff, but it handed me a gift. I mean, there really, there truly are. Like, I have a friend from middle school.

Shout out to Cameron Laughlin. Just a big shout out to Cam. Cam loves the show. Haven't seen him since we were 13, but I think we're Facebook friends. And Cam Laughlin, really lovely guy, at least when we were 11, 12, and 13 years old, but a real lovely dude. He's an asshole now. Wow.

Fucking big news from Fritz Coleman. I don't think you do follow Cam on Facebook because this is the last thing I expected to learn from him. That dude has from weird theories. So Cameron Laughlin used to, Cameron Laughlin was like a handsome jockey guy. I mean, obviously like I went to a very nerdy school, but like he was a pretty handsome jockey guy. Cameron's usually are.

It's a good name for, he was a absolutely classic Cameron spit curl, maybe Superman spit curl. Sure. Uh, very athletic. And, but Cameron always would fucking loved the weather like he'd talk about how much he loved the weather shut up about the

dew point this is in this is in San Mateo California which if anything may have less weather than Los Angeles and I always I would think about like for decades afterwards I would just think about Cameron as a this 12 year old talking about how much he loves the weather. And he never really like put for me, for my purposes, never really put his finger on exactly what about the weather he loved. I couldn't I could never quite fit. I was like I was very struck by it. And Cam grew up to be I believe he's a contractor. But then one day I saw him on Facebook and he had become a fucking local weatherman

in Phoenix. Oh my gosh. That's a major market. Well he's a guy that deserves to be a weatherman unlike me who didn't give a shit about the weatherman.

Seriously. I don't even know what a dew point is. Not a paid regular though at the comedy store still doing the fucking open mics. He wasn't making

that solid 25 skins a night at the comedy store. Was bringing on Rita Rudner. Mitzi told him to come up with a gimmick, but all he could. But, you know, our evening newscasts, I did the 4, 5, 6, and 11 o'clock

when I was there, were like the morning newscasts now. They were familial. You know, they wanted us to relate to one another and have fun and say, what did you do over the weekend? Oh, and here's some news, incidentally. It wasn't as hardcore, you know, drive-bys and freeway chases and death and if it bleeds, it leads, all that kind of stuff.

It was softer when I was on. Now it's all business. Plus, there's more competition now. Fritz? Yes? What's your personal favorite kind of weather? Are you a shorts guy do you like

bringing a light jacket this by the way is our play for a Peabody here if we don't get a Peabody or a Polk award out of

what's your favorite type of weather between April and October okay it's morning clouds and fog hazy afternoon sun

high in the low 70s and that's my favorite weather because it makes my job easy when I get to work I just have to figure out new ways to say morning clouds and fog as the afternoon sun.

God, there was, there was a sports guy in San Francisco when I was growing up who did, for a long time, he did

all of the evening, on KRON, Channel 4 in San Francisco, he did all of the evening newscasts. So he did all of the evening newscasts so he did uh I think it was a six seven and eleven and hosted a morning show on the sports talk station yeah well Fred Rogan did that he Fred did all the sports plus and now he's still doing that he's on that I don't know what the call letters are but it's iHeartRadio morning sports and I

don't know how he did it. He was like the Iron Man. He slept about three hours a night. Yeah, how does, I can't even, I worked on a morning show for three weeks and completely fell apart at the scene. Oh, no. Like a cardboard.

The human body is not supposed to adapt to that. Yeah, like a cardboard boat. That was me on a fucking morning show. And they were doing it at 11 o'clock at night. Yeah. 11 o'clock at night. It might have something to do with salary. Yeah.

You know, I don't know. Obviously, I'm a big fan of yours. So conversely, I hate Dallas Rains. Well, you should. Who singly might be one of the nicest people in the entertainment business. He's just a doll. His picture very, very prominently displayed at my car wash. His head shot is up at my car wash in a very prominent place.

I can tell they love him there. He's a good guy. This didn't even occur to me, Fritz. What? How many fucking car washes and dry cleaners must have your picture at them? This is what all of us in the rest of the- My car wash, the car wash that I went to for 35 years no longer exists, is at the corner of Chandler and Magnolia.

No, Whitsitt and Magnolia in North Hollywood, and now it's an apartment complex. So now I go to Hollywood Stars on Magnolia and Coinga. Love Hollywood Stars. Local jokes get you local. That's what Linkin Patch says. We're doing all Hollywood stars material from here on out. Nobody gives a crap about me and my dented Volvo at the car wash.

And so Dallas is a car collector. So when he rolls in there with his Maserati. Oh, maybe that's a big, maybe that's a part of why he gets it detailed there. Fritz Coleman, please send us a signed 8x10. Please send us. I have to find one. You know who the only other person I've please send us a signed 8x10. Yeah. Please send us. I have to find one. You know who the only other person I've ever asked for a signed 8x10 from was? Elvira?

Yeah, Elvira. I noticed it when he was hanging in the bathroom. It's a handsome item. Yeah, it's the classic fucking Weathermen and Monster Show hosts. But you're right about that. They don't even have those anymore. I wonder why that happens. I know.

Monster Show hosts, there's no greater dream job in show business. I don't even like monster movies particularly. That's all I want to do. You just want a cape with a wide collar. I just want a chance to wear a cape professionally. I went to my first Halloween event of the season. Congratulations. Thank you.

I went to one of these outdoor movies where they show a classic horror movie. Was it in the cemetery, the Hollywood Cemetery thing? No, uh-uh. This was kind of by you, Jesse. This was in a park where they, and I had never been here before. I don't know how I've lived in L.A. this long and not been to this place, but it's a park where they have transferred a lot of like old victorian went to heritage square my friend square there you go this guy's good this guy went to heritage square fritz uh so yeah they have a lot of these maybe you can describe it better than i can it's a lot of like

classic victorian homes yeah the part of northeast los Angeles where I live, sort of Lincoln Heights, Highland Park, Mount Washington, was the first suburb of Los Angeles. So a lot of the houses, the first houses that were built there were built in the 1880s and 1890s. And when LA sort of went wild in the 60s and 70s in terms of population, some of those houses were preserved and trucked down to this one little plot of land on the side of the freeway that became one of those living history museums. Only it's the sorriest of all living history museums because you can only go inside one of the houses and you can only do that. What street is this on? I don't know anything about this.

It's right off the, look. Some of the trees, too. Shout out to the Hollywood Stars car wash. And shout out to the Avenue 43 exit from the 110. Check this out. So, yeah, so they had like an outdoor movie there. Really fun. People kind of, people dressed up.

It was like costumes encouraged. And I, you know, a lot of Barbies, I called that. This is the Halloween of Barbie. A lot of fun Barbie looks. But I was really impressed to see five or six just regular-ass Frankensteins. Just green face paint. Old school. Neck bolts.

I'm like, this is great great this is a classic halloween costume i'm glad to see it i always feel a little bit of pressure dressing up because like like i can't think of a funny pun i don't i don't i don't know what topical thing to do just i i love just seeing a guy with green face paint and neck bolts yeah i, I think that, in my opinion, Dracula is probably the most tired of the classic because, you know, there's this long period of horny Draculas in popular media. Everybody got cute, you know. Sure.

Everybody, I do support those plastic teeth. But other than that, it's a snooze. I think obviously the most classic of them all is going to be Ghost by putting a sheet over your head

and cutting holes in it but that one is a dangerous game to play and so I think yeah there's visibility issues with that I think Frankenstein

I think Frankenstein is really at the heart of things if you're going classic Halloween costume I'm absolutely with you. Did you dress up at all? No, I didn't.

But I felt like a child. Not even like a business suit? Yeah. I'm a door-to-door salesman. No, I didn't. And I feel like I should. So maybe I'll try and do another. We've still got a couple of weeks

before Halloween, so I think I could maybe get a costume together. I wanted to buy my daughter and her friends tickets to the Universal Halloween Haunt, is a yes, they're sold out Yeah, and then till the end of the thing you can't get in there. I thought wow Fritz Coleman can't get hello I work for the company for 40 years. You know what just just make some calls

Call the folks down at Hollywood stars As you well know in show business they forget you in two and a half weeks. Are you a Halloween guy? I was when I was the father of young children. And now my children have taken that over. And my middle child, my son, is just off the chain. He's got like 15 inflatable things around his house. Oh, he does the inflatables.

Yes. When did that start? I don't know. When did inflatables start? It seems like it was like two years ago. It was a little longer ago than that. But he's an electrician, so he's got all this stuff wired,

but it's so much fun to watch. Yeah. God, I would love to have special skills. Yeah. Wouldn't that be cool? Yeah, that's right. I don't know where he got this. It certainly wasn't hereditary.

Another noteworthy costume I saw at this thing. So it's a movie. So they have various levels of chairs you can get to see the screen. Not to brag, but I went to this one time, and I paid the extra to meet the star of Gremlins. Whoa, okay. You hang with a big team. Talk about signed eight by tens, my friend.

This was maybe for Grace's benefit? This was for my daughter's benefit, yes, 100%. I'm thinking about just putting on one of my old weather suits, put on a little pale makeup and go as Oppenheimer. Oh, yeah. That's a great topical. Who's gonna know? Sure, father of the atomic bomb. But right as the movie was about to start, a guy a couple rows forward starts scooting into his seat in a giraffe costume.

Hilariously rude. That is like so, it's so funny how rude that choice is. You did that on purpose or he just- He sat down and he didn did take the head off. Yeah. But for a hot second, I was like, this guy is fucking, it's brilliant how rude this is. When he took the head off, were you surprised that it wasn't a real giraffe? I was, yeah.

And I had to tell my son, I'm sorry, that's one of the giraffe's helpers. And every Halloween, the giraffe can't be everywhere at once. Jordan. You don't have a son. You don't have a son. I don't have a son. I got to get a son. I got to get a son. Just for your benefit, Fritz, Jordan's really got to get a son.

Got to get a son. This guy doesn't have a son. No son. He needs to get one. Jesse, how's Halloween prep in the Thorn household going? It's going pretty well. I came home from the road. Of course, I was out there bringing home the bacon.

Sure, yeah. And I came home from the road the other day, and, you know, like, by the time I get off that, like, out of the fucking airplane and then onto the bus to Union Station and then on the ride from Union Station to the house and got two 50-pound bags full of challenge coins and lapel pins that say Judge Sean Hodgman on them.

By the time I get to the front door, I am like bleary-eyed and confused. And there is a spider web that goes from the floor to the second story of my house, from the ground to the second story of my house, from the ground to the garden grass. And I think what happened is my children petitioned my wife to go on Amazon.com and just drop $21 on whatever the largest thing $20 would buy. Like, it is completely bonkers. Then there are a few miscellaneous hands reaching out of graves,

some black cats, and like one, again, these are like, these are the kind that are on stakes that stick into your lawn. And I think one orange pumpkin, small, flat orange pumpkin. It's like a dinner theater Halloween. It's dinner theater Halloween is very generous for what's- Like, the scale and impact of this, like, what can only be called a mess. Sure. This sounds like dentist office Halloween.

Honestly, this is like what it reminds me of, if nothing else, is like the alley behind the dollar store on November 2nd. Right. Like, it's just shit that blew out of the dumpster. How many cities do you do on one of these tours at a time? We did, we'll go at 10 days at a time. So try not to stay out too long. So we'll try and do, I think this one was less than usual. I think we only did like six on this one.

But, you know, we try and do six or eight in a 10-day stretch. And, like, it's a lot of fun. Of course, I went to Madison, Wisconsin. Yeah. I don't know if I told you this. I went to this steakhouse called the Tornado Room. Now, why are you telling us this?

Don't know. Couldn't tell you. Do not remember. Hey, why don't we take a little break? We'll try and figure out why Jesse brought up Madison, Wisconsin. We'll come back for a little bit more. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective, here with everybody's favorite part of the show,

a solo break segment. Yeah, it's just you and me and the things we do in this break are just for us. It's private and it's beautiful. We want to say thanks to all the MaxFun members who have gone to MaximumFun.org slash join and thrown down a couple of bucks to keep this show going. MaximumFun.org slash join. If you haven't gone

there, do it now. You'll get yourself a metric butt ton of bonus content and some good feels for knowing that you're the one keeping this show going. Hey, also, we want to thank this episode, this show going. Hey, also, we want to thank this episode, the good folks at Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix, we love them. Here's what it is. It's a fun, convenient, easy way to get cool new clothes that will fit you without you having to endlessly browse in stores and, you know, shady websites. browse in stores and shady websites. Here's what you do. You go to stitchfix.com slash JJGO. You get a personal stylist. They will learn about your tastes, and they will collaborate with you on some looks that you'll love, and it won't break the bank. They have a wide variety of sizes available from XS to 3XL, and they'll find your perfect fit and send you clothes handpicked just for you.

And sending stuff back is really convenient and easy. You get a prepaid envelope. You just drop it in the mail. So you keep the stuff you like. You send back the stuff you don't. Shipping returns and exchanges are always free. I got myself a Stitch Fix box coming in the mail, and I'm really excited. Stitch Fix always gets me good stuff.

Some of my favorite clothing items came from Stitch Fix. Everything fits great. Everything looks cool. And it's really cool to have a stylist at your disposal. So if you've got some work functions coming up, maybe some holiday parties you want to look nice for, tell them that

and they can send some stuff your way to help with very specific situations. Stitchfix.com slash JJGO. Thanks, Stitch Fix. They just get me. And they'll get you too. Try today at Stitchfix.com slash JJGO and you'll get 25% off when you keep everything in your fix.

That's stitchfix.com slash JJGO. Stitchfix.com slash JJGO. We also have some more folks to thank. Jordan Jesse Go is supported in part by AG1, the daily foundational nutrition supplement designed to support whole body health. AG1, here's what it does. It replaces your multivitamin, probiotic, and more in one simple drinkable habit.

Every scoop is packed with a science-driven formulation of 75 vitamins, minerals, probiotics, and whole food sourced ingredients of high quality designed to help gut and mood support, boost energy, and even promote healthier looking skin, hair, and nails. I've been drinking myself some AG1 in the mornings and I'm feeling great. Love that I get all those vitamins, minerals, probiotics, and other good stuff in just one little scoop. And hey, if you know me, you know I love to scoop. So get yourself some fine scoopables from the folks at AG1. If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D

and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. Go to drinkag1.com slash jjgo. That's drinkag1.com slash jjgo. Check it out. And, hey, here's some more stuff you can check out. Jesse not present in this break segment because he and John Hodgman are on the road with the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Maybe they're coming to a town near you. Maximumfun.org slash events where you can see all the tour dates for Judge John Hodgman and all the other Max Fun

shows who are on the road, getting out there, doing shows for the fans. And hey, I have been talking in these break segments about local indie bookstores where folks can pre-order Youth Group, my spooky new YA graphic novel with artist Bowen McGurdy. And so far, the stores I've been listing have been in the continental United States. Well, now we're going to do a little something for you folks in Canada.

Yeah, that's right. We love you up there in Canada. And a really cool listener let me know that they have preordered Youth Group at Mill Street Books in beautiful Ontario. So if you are a Canadian listener and you want to pre-order Youth Group, the folks at Mill Street Books will help you out. Millstreetbooks.com. I checked out their site. It looks like a beautiful shop and you can indeed order Youth Group there and they'll ship it right to you. Okay, I think that's all. Back to the show.

It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morse, boy detective. Fritz Kuhlman, not a meteorologist, but I played one on TV for 40 years. Did you know that the best baseball player in the world is a guy who's – well, now second best baseball player in the world is a guy whose only interest as far as I can determine is weather? I didn't know that. Los Angeles Angels star Mike Trout. Oh, yeah. This guy's a weather nut. He did an order with me one day.

There you go. We did sports and weather from the game, and he's a big weather freak, and I threw stuff at him, and he was right there. I mean, he's really a weather freak. He knows what the dew point is. Hello. Yeah. And I don't even know what the dew point is. Sure, I don't. I'm just saying it.

I just put two words together. Guys, it's a dry heat. Am I right? Yes. I know about weather phrases. There we are. We're three A's. We're three weather heads over here.

Weather phrases. Winchell. God. Ooh, Winchell's. We're three weather heads over here. Weather phrases. Wind chill. God. Ooh, wind chills. Let's get a ton of that. That's a great idea. Thanks, Jordan. You know, the low tonight in Laguna is 67 or 67 with wind chill.

Sure. That's probably close to correct. That might be right. Thank you. Well, I'm a bit of a weather nut. What can I say? That's why I'm so fucking pissed at you.

We came here to dress you down. I don't blame you. I have a lot of apologizing to do. Me and Dallas Rains brought our brass knuckles. Did you know, okay, this is a real Fritz Coleman fact that I

want to take credit for knowing authentically before noticing it in some nice thing that Fritz's publicist Laurie's in this. Later, I almost wish it hadn't been in the stuff so that I could take credit for it. A few months ago, my daughter and I watched the hit film Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Right. Very funny film. Have you heard about this movie? I've heard it's great and I suspect it holds up. You know what?

Can I make a suggestion? If you haven't seen it, just go to any group of 21-year-old men and have them recite the entire thing from beginning to end for you. So true. It does. It holds up impressively. I mean mean it's still not really a movie but other than that it's a documentary perfectly it holds up perfectly like it is fucking hilarious every single bit of it that was funny before pretty much um and fritz coleman has a fucking credit on this movie. Whoa. Oh, my gosh. Tell us more. Judd Apatow was an emcee at the improv for years.

You're talking about failed stand-up comedian, Judd Apatow? Failed stand-up comedian. Yeah. But was able to redirect that energy to a much higher tax bracket. Mm-hmm. And very funny guy. higher tax bracket and and very funny guy and and Adam McKay who was the director who went to the same high school I did said we would like to take you out to lunch and ask you some questions about the anchor people that

you work with so we had a three-hour lunch at Caudill Solon in in Toluca Lake and I couldn't laugh anymore. I was so, my stomach hurt from laughing. These guys are very, very funny. And they just asked me to talk about some of the anecdotes about this one particular anchor. I can't mention his name because he's still alive. Walter Cronkite.

To my knowledge. And I told him these stories, and they were astonished. I talk about their, you know, narcissism and, you know, they can work with people for 25 years and still not know their names, all that kind of stuff. And at the end of this luncheon, they said, this is all fantastic and it'll help to write, but I cannot relay any of your stories because people will not believe they're true and i said just do with it what you want it was a great three-hour lunch and they've in order to thank me for paying for lunch for three people they gave me a credit at the end of the movie but to my to my i i told judd that was a brilliant piece of work. And then I called him again after the Gary Shandling documentary.

Did you see that on HBO? I did, yeah. I said, okay, forget Anchorman, forget 40-year-old virgin. Get me a credit on the Gary Shandling documentary. No, no, no. I said, that's probably the best piece of work you've ever done.

It was so well constructed. And Gary's a very deep guy. He's a Zen guy. And I just thought it was a spectacular piece of work. So anyway. I'm excited. I'm excited that Toluca Lake came up organically because did you know that Fritz is an honorary mayor of Toluca Lake? No. I have been for 27 years. Wow. Which means literally nothing. I mean, I'm concerned that you're unwilling to give up the post because there have

been elections in the last 27 years. Crushed them all. Honorary democracy depends upon your willingness to pass the honorary mantle. I can't even get a parking ticket fixed in the city of Toluca Lake. I've been the honorary mayor. I have one responsibility.

Every year, and it takes me a long time to prepare for this, the first Friday of every December, my job is to light the five-foot Christmas tree in front of Ramsey Schilling Real Estate on Riverside Drive. That's it. Then we have the Girl Scouts singing a couple of Christmas carols. It really, and just for that one moment, it's very satisfying. Tell me, tell me, please tell me, Fritz, that you get 10% off at Milton Eady's dry cleaning. Please tell me. Oh, no. Please tell me.

Tell me. Tell me you get a permanent new customer discount. I'm not even lucky enough to get that. Right. But I love, I live there, and it's just a great community, and it's fun. So when they do fundraising, or the garden club needs to raise money for new ivy or something, I come and host a thing.

They will kick you out of a booth at Bob's Big Boy if Fritz rolls up. Jordan, you know what just occurred to me? Not only are we not local treasures, we're not treasures of any kind. I'm not even local. You live in Cleveland. We have been leaving that out of the show for a long time. You've lived in Cleveland the last seven years. I'm not even local. You live in Cleveland. We have been leaving that out of the show for a long time. You've lived in Cleveland the last seven years. I'm doing this remotely. You commute

in. Have you ever played yourself in a movie or have you ever played a newsman? I did the weather in one movie called Glimmer Man which was a Steven Seagal movie. Yeah, that's right.

And I never watched it because, you know, there are varying opinions about Steven Seagal, and I happened to put myself in one of those slots. And I... Seems like whatever call you've made is the right one. Let me just say, with regard to Steven Seagal, he may have, through his actions, removed some of the ambiguity over what kind of guy he is.

I just don't want to piss the guy off. I don't know where he is. Then he became a cop or something, right? He's like a policeman or a volunteer cop. He became an honorary mayor of Toluca Lake, I believe. No, no, he ain't that good. But, no, that was the only movie I was ever in. They were very, yeah, I got offers to do game shows. And I did a couple of auditions, but I didn't succeed because I'm not a big game show watcher. And I didn't get the science of it.

And, you know, I'd go on there and try to be funny or something. And the director would say, you know, know on this show the game is the star meaning shut up just introduce the three questions and go so um i i got lots of offers but they wouldn't let us do them because pat sajak ruined it for everybody because he was doing the weather and wheel of fortune together at first and then they they went up to him this almost sounds like a movie they went up to him said pat we're gonna a movie. They went up to him and said, Pat, we're going to have to ask you to give up one of your interests

because we think your attention is being stretched a little too thin. And they assumed that because news is the show that never gets canceled, he would take the weather job and give up the game job. Pat said, no, I'm going to go with door number two. I'm going to keep the Wheel of Fortune job. And now he makes like $30 million.

Too bad it didn't work out. And we never heard of him again. To answer your question, I had some offers. I just wasn't able to do them. Having one movie credited as Glimmer Man is pretty good, though. Our friend Jimmy Pardo

has been... Oh, I love him. He and I worked together in clubs for years. Oh, there you go. That's awesome. Our friend, our friend Jimmy Pardo is, I love him. He and I worked together in clubs for years. Oh, there you go. That's awesome. One of the best there is. And one of the funniest dudes in the world. And he has hosted some game shows and the ability to be funny while hosting a game show is just awe inspiring to me.

It requires surgery because you, again, you have to let the game be the star, but boom, you know, he's so funny, fast on his feet. Fun to just dispatch the business. Just like, boom, boom, boom, these are the rules and this is the possible answers. And to find something

in there. Ah, love that skill. Dream skill. Fritz, I'm sorry that you don't have it. No, there's no question. I mean, it's okay. I don't claim to have that he's doing a good job I hope he's taking some work away from

Steve you know Harvey yeah that has every third game yeah that guy's that guy's not sweating it I would say listen you're talking to the wrong guy I want Steve Harvey to be the star of all TV shows. That's true. It's basically all that makes me laugh these

days is Steve Harvey doing a take to camera. Just being mad about something someone said. I am numb to comedy except for that. Yeah. One time I was watching a family feud and Steve Harvey got mad at this one white guy for being

in a family of black people. It was just one of the best things I've ever seen. It was so fucking hilarious. Yeah. I can imagine it. He's just looking down the barrel of the camera and making weird different faces and huffing and puffing. And I was like, this is the greatest thing ever.

Nothing funnier than that. Way to go, weird grumpus. Cool purple suit too. Yeah. Sorry about your retrograde opinions about how families should operate. to go weird grumpus. Cool purple suit too. Sorry about your retrograde opinions about how families should operate. That'll come out sometime. That'll come out sometime. I really like the faces that you make.

Oh, hey. How about this, Jordan? We have a segment on our show called Momentous Occasions. I was just about to say that! Why don't we do that? That would be great. Should I tell you about where he had dinner in Madison, Wisconsin? I mean, if it's noteworthy in some way. Okay.

So I couldn't tell you why it was noteworthy. How was the steak? It was a really good steak, actually. It was great. We had eaten this very fancy steak in Chicago, Illinois at a famous steakhouse in Chicago, Illinois that was fucking lousy with weatherman 8x10s this joint was structurally supported by weatherman

8x10s I was so I gotta be able to crack these walls like it was all fucking 27 Ditkas and 27 local weathermen and I was like oh I wish I could nobody has an 8x10 anymore I think it's all digital I know I think they should put up those digital frames Nobody has an 8x10 anymore, I think. It's all digital. I know.

I think they should put up those digital frames for signed 8x10s. Oh, just have them kind of always changing. Yeah, exactly. Okay, so anyway, we have a segment on our program called Momentous Occasion. So when something momentous happens to you, the listener, give us a call, 206-984-4FUN. Or just send us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Our producer, Matt, you know this guy. I do. Right over there to your left.

Great guy. Hey, I'm right here. Yeah, here's Matt. Great work, Matt. Matt tells us he's selected a momentous occasion from Among the Many Choices, and will be replaying it for us. Is that correct, Matt?

Yes, that is right. Thank you, Matthew. When would you like that to happen? Matt, go ahead and play it. Wait, hold. Okay, I'll hold. Momentification flying in and roll. Okay, I'm doing it. No, okay.

Matt, when I said... Matthew, so when I said... Okay, so I'm going to give you three, two, one, and then I'm going to go whoop, and that's going to be your... Oh, with your finger? Yeah. give you three, two, one, and then I'm going to go whoop, and that's going to be your, okay. Oh, with your finger? Yeah. So three, two, one, and whoop.

All right, I'm going to play it right now for you guys. Thank you, Matt. Thank you, Matt. Momentous occasion. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. I'm going to guess Blair Erskine. This is Weston from Brisbane, Australia, calling with a momentous occasion. I was going to say Australia. I'm here at the Brisbane airport about to board a plane for the States to visit my hometown of Baltimore.

Because a week ago I decided I wanted to do something stupid and I wanted to do something spontaneous. And decided I was going to book a flight to Baltimore to see the Orioles in the playoffs. Can you pause? I think we've all had this experience where you get to a point in your life, you're sort of like feeling like, have I calcified? In your case, Fritz, of course, you retired from the television news and said, you're going to get back to the stage. I want to do something wild to get out there in front of people and risk something. You want to do something crazy. I know like as I've entered middle age with my three children, I wonder what happened to the

wild young man that I used to be. I mean, you remember how wild, the wild stuff I would do. Yeah. And I think in that time in our life, all of us have gotten a wild hair up our ass and bought a plane ticket to Baltimore. I just... Yeah, and there's nothing spontaneous about a 19-hour plane trip. I'm feeling stale. I need to take a John Waters filming location

walking tour. That's a lot of time to think about whether you should have booked a ticket to Richmond, Virginia or Washington, D.C. Which of the regional – it's a nice town, Baltimore. It is, yeah. Softshell Crab they got there. Get that great outsider art museum.

It's a nice museum. Lake Trout, The Wire. Lake Trout, The Wire. A lot of good stuff, yeah. Oh, The Wire, yeah. Television show, The Wire. Matt hosts the The Wire recap podcast. Yes, The Wire. A lot of good stuff, yeah. Oh, The Wire, yeah. Television show, The Wire. Matt hosts the The Wire recap podcast. Yes, I do.

Do you really? That's right. Yes, let's plug mine. Don't talk to, Fritz, don't talk to Matt. No, Matt. This is our relationship. Absolutely. No, I don't know enough about it.

I just know that lots of actors have gotten their launch in there, and the writing is spectacular, and it's just a great show. Well, it's mostly Matt's work. That show may have more fans in retrospect than it had when it was on the air. It's become this legend. 100%. It is just one of those great shows.

Guys, you want to talk about this for a while? No. Apparently it's supporting an entire recap podcast industry. I'm just answering people who are talking. I don't know where they are. Honestly, I would hate it if you were trying to do more. It would be cruel of me to ask you to do more. Even just that is a lot given what's happening in here. Okay. Go ahead and play the thing. Play the thing.

Book a flight to Baltimore to see the Orioles in the playoffs. As Jesse would know, they're always bad. And this year they're having an incredible year and I thought when else is this gonna happen? So I decided, I wrote to my brother who still lives there and said if I buy an insanely priced plane ticket will you buy an insanely priced playoff ticket? We reached an agreement and I'm gonna deal with the jet lag and be back here in about five days. So yeah, I thought y'all would appreciate that. Thank you so much for all the joy you bring into the world. That's really beautiful. Really beautiful story. Actor Josh Charles, internet

acquaintance of mine, huge Baltimore Oriolesoles fan and the Orioles truly have sucked ass for a long time and they are were very good this year unfortunately this man took a 19-hour plane flight to watch them get their asses kicked in the play but you'd think the Orioles would honor that somehow if they knew that story that's a great story I know know. Years ago, we had a friend who founded a podcast network called Earwolf. And when he sold it, he sold it for many millions of dollars. And he's a big Chicago Cubs fan. And he knew I'm a Giants fan. And when the Giants were playing the Cubs in the playoffs, he, out of the deep kindness of his heart, called me and said, Jesse, if you buy an airplane ticket to San Francisco,

you can go to the Giants-Cubs playoff game with me. I have four tickets, and there's going to be three Cubs fans in you. And I was like, absolutely, had never been to a playoff game. Went and watched one of the most legendary playoff meltdowns of all time. It's like the only time I've been to a playoff game, and I think it was still worth it. I think it was still worth it, even though it was a crushing disappointment.

So good on this guy. He can skew this one on the Barbie. And a third Australia thing, something about Yahoo! Sirius, star of young Einstein. Let's see. I would maybe say Boomerang. Tell you what, Matt, take a minute to Google Australia.

Kick you at Google makes a trick. Crocodile Hunter. There you go. Crocodile Hunter. Dundee. That's not a knife. Yeah. So he says, so Crocodile Dundee.

Yeah. This is the guy from the movie Crocodile Dundee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So what does he say? He looks at a knife and he says, wait a minute. That's not a knife. Okay.

So here's my question about that. Still funny. I can answer it. It holds up. As a Wire Recap podcast, maybe you know the answer to that. I probably do. So my memory, I saw this movie in the movie theaters, Crocodile Dundee. Do you know this movie?

Yeah, maybe I saw it as a kid. They were hugely hot for a minute. Crocodile Dundee. So Crocodile Dundee, of course, Fritz, you may or may not know this. He's a crocodile guy from Australia who goes to New York. And this guy's a fish out of water in New York, as I recall. Now, what I remember from watching this movie, Matt, and obviously you're the expert. That's why I'm asking you.

I remember him looking at a knife and then he says, well, that you're the expert. That's why I'm asking you. I remember him looking at a knife and then he says, well, that's not a knife. Right. But here's my confusion. I think it was a knife. Yeah, no, that was part of what was funny about it because I was like, what do you mean that's not a knife? Not a knife? Yeah, he pulls out a bigger knife and

you realize, oh, this guy has an entirely different definition of what a knife is based on size. How did he get this big knife on the plane? I mean, did he put that? I guess he could have put it in his checkbook. That was pre- Yeah.

This is a lot. It's in the 80s. Yeah. You could bring anything on a plane back in the day. Cigarettes, knives. A baby that wasn't yours. Yeah. I have another question.

I have another question. This is sort of partly about Crocodile Dundee, partly about comedies in the film comedies of the 1980s. Sure. The movie Crocodile Dundee, that's a comedy, right? This is a comedy movie. I've never seen it. Yeah. So it's a comedy movie.

Maybe, Jordan, you've seen it. Maybe you can help. I mentioned this earlier. Yeah. Are there any jokes in that entire movie? Because I'm pretty sure the answer is no. Well, the knife joke. Yeah, they've got that knife joke.

It was so long ago, I can't remember. Yeah, I think there's no jokes in the entire movie. Is there a crocodile in it? Yeah. He was a crocodile wrangler or something, right? I think he was, honestly, I don't know if it was one of his parents or one of his grandparents that was a crocodile. Actually, I am remembering this. The crocodile was the friends we made along the way.

Thank you, Jordan. We'll be back in just a second. I'm Jordan Jessica. Oh, my gosh. Hi, it's me, Dave Holmes, host of the pop culture game show Troubled Waters. On Troubled Waters, we play a whole host of games, like one where I describe a show using a limerick, and our guests have to figure out what it is. Let's do one right now. What show am I talking about? This podcast has game after game, and brilliant guests who come play him. The host is named Dave. It could be your fave, so try it. Life won't be the same.

Uh, Big Business, starring Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin. Close, but no. Oh, is it Troubled Waters, the pop culture quiz show with all your favorite comedians? Yes, Troubled Waters is the answer. To this question and all of my life's problems. Now, legally, we actually can't guarantee that. But you can find it on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. podcasts. I'm Jordan Cruciola, host of Feeling Seen, where we start by asking our guests just one question. What movie character made you feel seen? I knew exactly what it was. Clementine

from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Choi Wang slash Shobu Tupaki. That one question launches amazing conversations about their lives, the movies they love, and about the past, present, and future of entertainment. Roy in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I worry about what this might say about me, but I've brought Tracy Flick in the film Election. So if you like movies, diverse perspectives, and great conversations,

check us out. Oof, this is real. New episodes of Feeling Seen drop every week on MaximumFun.org. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morse,

boy detective. And I'm Fritz Coleman, and the next time I come back, I'll be Oppenheimer. Oh, congratulations. Thank I'm Fritz Coleman, and the next time I come back, I'll be Oppenheimer. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. Fritz, of course our audience can watch your special on Tubi. Alongside every movie.

Every movie ever made is on Tubi. Right. I don't know how Tubi got the rights to every movie on Earth. Between the wannabe, turn-of-classic movies. I think there's also an Antiques Roadabe T-City classic movies. I think there's also an Antiques Roadshow only channel on Tubi. I'm not making that up. I actually think that that is true. Oh, God, that's funny.

But if people want to see you in real life, you just got extended in your monthly residency at the El Portal, right? Right, right. We're in the small theater, the Marilyn Monroe Forum. It's a little 100-seat with cabaret tables. We actually saw the TV show. And you're going to be doing some cabaret. Or are you doing a production of cabaret? No, I do a couple of songs from Cats.

Okay, great. And I do some Shakespearean monologues. You know, in my show, I don't do the songs from Cats. I just wear the outfit from Cats. Fantastic. And I do a little bit of licking. Just some licking. You got to keep yourself clean.

You're a very clean animal. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, we're there once a month. Our next one will be November 26th. They're three in the afternoon because my particular demographic likes to be home by dark. So, you know what I'm saying? I'll tell you.

I don't know if you guys heard. I went to Madison, Wisconsin to do a show recently. You don't say. Our show was at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. And when our booking agent was like,

do you really want to do a 4 o'clock in the afternoon show? It was as if something was in there at night, you know, but it's Saturday. We want to get in there. And Hodgman and I like talked on the phone.

We're like, do we want to do a 4 o'clock in the afternoon show? And we both sort of thought about it for a minute. We're like, definitely. Yes. Like, uh, that sounds great. And it doesn't, you know, it's a Sunday and it doesn't inflict on whatever your Sunday night plans is with irritating relatives or something, you know?

Yeah. And so, yes, we've been extended. So November 26th, I don't remember the other dates. We take December off because they're doing a huge Christmas thing in that theater. They're doing Dickens' A Christmas Carol. And Scrooge is going to be Elon Musk, which is going to be an interesting thing. Then we're back in January, February, and March. And just check their website.

I could see. Can I just say, Fritz Coleman in a panto. Make it happen, Los Angeles. Right. Pantos it happen Los Angeles pantos British style pantos coming to the United States what better stunt casting could there be

than Fritz Coleman we just heard he can deliver the shit out of a line he said all that surfing words that he didn't know sure that was him

that wasn't me no I was reading that off a script wasn't I or I don't remember but you sold it I think something I remember is that I think you were memorized, and I also thought it was really sweet. We are not in the shot together.

No. You stayed for the reverse. That's right. Because I would have something to play off of. There were two people, me and Spencer Tracy. Stayed for the reverse. I want to encourage people to watch that commercial because you get a feeling for it from hearing the sound, but you don't get to see Jordan's ain't I a stinker face when he puts his finger to his lips after saying the surfing words.

Excellent. Excellent. Fritz, so at the El Portal here in Southern California for Southern Californians, on Tubi for folks who aren't on Tubi, do you have any other life streams that you're going to return to? I have a website for it's called comedy.com. You've always wanted to have a website.

That's the dream. Old pictures of me in the Navy. I have my musings about racism and war. Great. You know, all kinds of stuff. All the important stuff. Old pictures of you in the Navy. Hot Navy pics and musings. I'd love to see this guy in his Dickies. Great. You know, all kinds of stuff. All the important stuff. Old pictures of you in the Navy. Hot Navy pics.

And musings. I'd love to see this guy in his dickies. Sure. Is that a part of a Navy uniform? I'm not sure. It is whites, right? I'm not sure.

Dress whites. There you go. You ever, as you go, you ever end up somewhere in Fleet Week and then you see those airplanes flying around

and you're just like, holy shit. That happened to me recently. That's why I mention it. I was on an aircraft carrier for three and a half years in the Navy. And I was on the third deck, which was one deck below the fourth deck, which is the air deck. That's the one the planes land on.

And when they're doing 24-hour operations, every 45 seconds you hear, boom, and the whole ship shakes. So it doesn't even phase me anymore this is why this is why my dad would flip the fuck out anytime the safeway truck drove past our house that a very specific reason just was he my dad would literally jump out of his chair when the safeway because his the back of his chair was to the window to the street, so he couldn't see the Safeway truck drive past. Oh, yeah. I would do that after earthquakes. Every time a truck went by the street, I thought, oh, this is it.

Yeah. Dive under the couch. Anyway, Fritz Coleman, of course, you know him as, as generations from here on will know him as the second banana in the famous commercial. Right. Fritz Coleman, surfer dude the famous commercial Fritz Coleman surfer dude oh he was the surfer dude no no he was the other guy he was the other guy

oh cool you know there's an art to being a great straight man and I think Fritz will learn it eventually sometime yeah

Fritz it's been a joy yeah thank you so much you guys are so much fun you can make this last two or three hours easy what a joy and an honor. The program is Jordan, Jesse Goh.

Matt Lieb is our producer. Our theme music, Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. You can find us on social media. We're on Instagram at JordanDavidMorris at put.this.on. On Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. Hashtag at JJGo..reddit.com. Hashtag at JJGo. Facebook, Facebook.com slash JordanJesseGo.

Get on there. Matt, you're going to post this commercial on our social media feeds? I will now that you've told me. Yeah. It's a little something called producing, and that's what you're doing, baby. Making it happen. I get paid either way. Oh, shit.

God damn it. God damn it. It's in his contract. He doesn't have to do shit. God damn it. He doesn't have to do shit. I didn't even know we wrote him a contract. Did he write his own contract? Yeah. Why'd you let him write a contract? Look at him. Look at that little

kid. Wait, can I ask you a question, Jordan? Sorry that you have to be here for this, Fritz. It's okay. It's just housekeeping. Is that what I signed in blood? Yeah. God damn. What else does he own? Does he own my eternal soul? He has power of attorney over you.

Oh, God damn it. I am now a worker owner. Oh, no. Okay. Well, anyway, we'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.