Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Kneel Before Zotz, with Emily Fleming

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

This week we welcome comedian/writer/podcaster, Emily Fleming (@Midnight, Free With Ads, Good Mythical Morning), to chat about Twisters, brat summer, mom and Hollywood hunk names, office candy, and more!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes! Jordan Morris is doing a book tour for Youth Group! On August 2nd, See him in SF at Book Passage at 5:30pm. Come see Judge John Hodgman: Road Court  live in a town near you! Jesse and John will be all over the country so don't miss your change to see them. Check the events page to find out where!Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram. 

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jesse. Hi, I'm Jordan Morris Boy, Detective Jesse. Wait.

Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Aren't you author Jordan Morris? Well. Cause I happen to have, this week I read an amazing hilarious graphic novel called Youth Group that was really great. That was written by a guy named Jordan Morris.

That was me. I should mention the art was done by Bowen McGurdy. So, you know, a group effort, but yes, I'm the one who wrote the words. Okay, well, I'm just glad to know it was you. Because I liked it a lot. And it would have been weird that if I bought it and turned out to be by the soccer player. Right. You know, his, his book of free verse poetry, though, is incredible. It's really it goes to Yeah, it goes to some wild places.

He's polymathic. He plays with the form. Thank you. That's nice of you to say, Jesse. Thanks for picking up the book. If anybody out there is wondering, does Jordan's book whip ass? It does.

I loved it. I'm really excited to say that I was definitely the inspiration for a hot wicken character named Thorne. Uh-huh. 100%, just a lot of parallels. Definitely the inspiration for a hot Wiccan character named Thorne. Uh-huh. 100 percent, just a lot of parallels. Some people think it's just that my surname is Thorne and she, a lady, is named Thorne. And then there's another character named Bramble or something.

So a lot of people thicket maybe. What was it? Oh yeah, the Wiccans all have nature names. Yeah, it's Thorne, Bramble. Yeah. But I should say most of them have nature names but one has the name of my great friend Jesse. That's me. So yeah. Anyway, what's going on with you buddy? I'm just saying everybody should buy your fucking book. Don't be an

asshole and not buy Jordan's book. It is out now. We got some book events coming up. I hope to see folks out and thank you. Youth group available wherever you get your books. And as always Jordan, you're the good cop. I'm the bad cop here. Don't fuck up. Don't fuck up and not buy Jordan's books. I mean, it's okay if you fuck up. Does anybody want any water? I can get you some.

Does anybody want water? Okay. That's what the good cop does. Yeah. Yes, if you want some water, and you don't have to buy the good cop's book. You know what? I will find your family.

Oh boy. And you're never gonna... As far as I'm concerned, if you don't buy Jordan's book, you're not getting anything from the vending machine. It's okay. I have some change. I can get you some pretzel rods. And I'll save your family from Jesse. It's fine. Anyway, what's going on with you? Thank you. Actually, you know, I wanted to talk about the world of trend pieces. Oh's fine. Anyway, what's going on with you? Thank you. Actually, you know, I wanted to talk about the world of trend pieces.

Oh, sure. We have a pretty trendy guest. So maybe we should introduce her and then we can all talk about it together. Great, yeah. So if people at home don't know, trend pieces are when someone who works for the New York Times visits Brooklyn.

Sure. Our guest, our guest on the program is Jordan's co-host on the Smash It podcast, Free With Ads, a member of the mythical crew, as evidenced by her water bottle. And good swag over there. And the first guest we've ever had on Jordan Jesse Goh with the guts to bring a lollipop in the studio, Emily Fleming. Hi, thanks for having me. Hi Emily, how are you?

I'm good, I'm good. Emily knows what the fans want, more sucking noises. Well I often bring these lollipops in during free with ads I have a lollipop in my mouth most of the time. Mm-hmm. And you know that shows going really well I say so don't if it ain't broke. Yeah, I mean I definitely poor poor Matt He's probably having to eliminate a lot of sure. Yeah Matt leave former producer of this show is our producer on that show. Yeah, and yes, I think half of Matt's Workload is taking out sucking

Jokes, I don't know yeah So I wanted to talk to you. I want to see just kind of check in you know here We are in the middle of summer. I was reading trend pieces, and I just wanted to ask everybody How's your brat summer going? What the fuck? Are you guys being little brats out there? I'm being a little brat. I'm probably a brat all the time. I'll say this.

I'm excited to learn more about brat summer. The reason being that over the past week on Instagram, over 7,000 Jordan Jessie Go listeners have sent me, you know how on Instagram, most of Instagram is a photograph of a tweet? Like a screen cap of someone's tweet? That, and it's someone who said, forget Brat Summer, this is Porco Rosso Summer.

And they're dressed in the manner of the character Porco Rosso from the Japanese animated feature film Porco Rosso about a pig that flies a World War I airplane. I had a Howells Moving Castle summer last year. Yeah. Hot Ponyo summer. We all turn into a little fish. Jesse's not really into it.

Yeah, you know, it's for littler kids. I really like it. I really like it. They freaked out my kids. Oh, I bet. Yeah, upset them. Yeah. That's what I mean. It's for littler kids. I really like it. I really like it. They freaked out my kids. Oh, I bet. Yeah, upset them. That's what I mean.

It's for freaking out kids. Okay, good. So they know who's the boss, it's the parents. You fuck up, I'll show you Ponyo again. Yeah. Brat Summer is, it has to do with Charlie XCX, the pop star. Love her. And I guess he has a new album and or song titled brat and so

This one that's in collaboration with Lord. I don't know if Lord is involved. I think that it is But all I know is that you wear green. What about Tiffany is Tiffany? God I wish Tiffany call me. I think she's alone God, I wish Tiffany called me. I think she's alone now. She is alone now, yes. But you know, I think we're in green, and we're all acting like little brats. Hell yeah.

Me? I'm not saying please and thank you. Oh, really? No. And I'm pitching a little fit when my food touches. If my dinosaur chicken nuggets touch my carrot sticks, I'm pitching a little fit. It's brat summer.

That's nice. Yeah. So if you guys want to be little brats too, it's all right. But you have to stop in September. Oh, why? Oh, yeah, because that's when summer is over. Right. It's responsible big kid fall, where we're all going to be big kids, well-mannered big

kids. Yeah, I'm going out for academics at Cathaline. There you go. That's going to be great for you. But until then, you could be a little brat. Come on. Steven, could you do me a favor? Sure.

Could you get me some candy? Yes. Nice candy. Zots? Yeah, get me zots. Are you getting jealous of the sucker? Get me Zots. Jordan, get me some fucking Zots. Yes sir, little brat.

Emily, get me some fucking Zots. I have one in my purse, cause you recommended it. Do you want that? That's the only Zots that was there. What's a Zots? Zots is a type of candy we have in our candy bowl. That's a hard candy.

Number one, that brats love. And number two two it has Like fizzy stuff in the middle You know like fizzing powder so I mean we can have some pretty wild mouth noises on this podcast Yeah, sucking and fizzing Wow Steven drop my frickin Zots there you go now you're having a brat summer Thank you Steven feed my freaking Zots! There you go, now you're having a brat summer. Out of control. That's what a little brat would say. Thank you, Stephen, feed me the Zots! Feed the little brat.

Oh yeah, and it's green too, that's the official color of brat summer. Why, oh okay, you know a lot more about- Oh, I've been reading trend pieces. Very cool. This is all according to USA Today. I'm having a Joyride summer because that's- Oh yeah, you sent me that Kesha song, it's great.

It's Kesha's new song and I'm into that. Because she's about my age and so it's like, I feel more akin with Kesha. She has a lot of references to the classic Power Rangers that you reference. That's true, she's also a Nashville girl. Oh really? Yes.

There you go. One time Kesha was on NPR on the weekend news show. You know, NPR regular weekday news is like all news, and then on the weekend news show, they have more culture content for NPR listeners to write in and complain about. And I think Scott Simon... This isn't about a Neil Young box set. Exactly. All I want to hear about is Neil Young box sets. Yeah. This is what I imagine. These are these are the letters I imagine. But one time Kesha was on and you know whoever it was, Neil Cohn and Scott Simon, one of these

one of these nice guys. Puzzle Master Will Shortz. It was probably Puzzle Master Will Short. Yeah, it was probably Puzzle Master Will Short's guest hosting. Talked to her a lot about her SAT score. Interesting. Howard gets his SATs. They were very good. I bet. Wow, I believe it. Yeah, she was very good grades in SATs.

I didn't even take the SATs. What, you took the ACTs? Yeah, the guidance counselor said it would be a waste of time for me to take the SATs. Really? I was a very bad student. Oh, wow. Waste of an afternoon.

Yeah, I took the ACT three times, and I got a 17 the first time, and then a 16 the other two times. So I don't know why the fuck I had to take it two more times. Is the ACT, did you take that three times? Because is it easier? They say that it's a lot more based in language, and it's better for artsy people, I guess,

and the SATs are more like math science. That's kind of what I was told. I mean, I think most artsy people like all standardized tests. Yeah, oh yeah, we love that shit. We thrive. God, I'm so glad. I sometimes think about, oh, I miss high school

and I miss childhood and all that stuff, and then I go, fuck, I'd have to take that ACT again. I tell you what. I'm so glad I don't have to do that. When I graduated from college and was in a desperate state of unemployment, for a while there, I was an SAT tutor. Oh.

Which was a great job because of how much it paid per hour, but a bad job when you realize that you had to drive 40 minutes to work for one hour, drive back for 40 minutes. But I was grateful to have any job. I was very unemployed and broke. And you had to have gotten a certain SAT score, which I did, is that I was good at standardized tests,

bad student, good at standardized tests And I told them you just guessed B. That's your thing. Yeah, exactly. I use spell words bad Cab Shout out to dad. Yeah. Hey, and can I just say dab Jesse dab? Yeah, hey, and can I just say? Dab Jesse dab For those for those listening and not watching which is everyone you're not filming this Jesse dabs Yeah, but anyway, I I told them honestly what score I got it was a good enough score

But I was supposed to retake the SAT to like prove it. Mm-hmm is part of the job application Bullshit. Yeah. I felt the same way. Did you just have to go to a high school on a weekend and take it with teenagers? Yes. Wow. I thought the whole thing was if you can't do teach,

so why are they making you do? Exactly. And yeah, we need somebody who can't do. If you do, you shouldn't be teaching. Exactly. What are you going to be doing? At the time, I could do whenever I wanted. Every morning, like clockwork I would do.

Now I have to take fiber supplements. Ah. OK. He's talking about shits. It's a scat summer. Hot scat summer. A summer. So anyway, I was-

Over on my OnlyFans. I was supposed to take the SATs, and I somehow didn't. And it's related to whatever led me to not have taken biology in high school. I didn't. Didn't have a number two pencil. Didn't take biology in high school, which is supposed to,

you're supposed to be illegal to graduate from high school without taking biology. I don't know how I got out of it. I truly don't remember, but I actually didn't take it. Did you take chemistry? No, I did not take chemistry either. What? I think if they just like spring a frog dissection on you

and you do pretty good, they'll give you the C-. Yeah, I think that's about right. Me and this one other guy with the AP physics class, she's just like, just do every problem in the end of the chapter instead of every other one. And then she was just like, you know what, you guys don't need to come. You guys don't need to come. But anyway, I was supposed to take the SATs. I never did. And I don't know how I got past I don't know what, but I didn't want to, obviously, but I was supposed to. And when I got into SAT tutoring, I realized, oh, shit, like, I do not know how to do math. Like I 100. When I was, look, I took

I 100 when I was look, I took calculus my junior year of high school, I passed the AP. That was the last time I did math. And I was like, this is five years since then. And also is two more years since the math that's on the SAT, which is like geometry. I was so fucked. I had to like, when I say I had to learn math again, I didn't. I just pretended to do that also. And like fake taught people. But you could do it analogy though, right? I'm sorry to those... All day.

I know. I'm sorry to those parents that paid $150 an hour to that test company that was paying me $40 an hour so that to learn math from paying me $40 an hour to learn math from me, a guy that did not remember how to do math. Maybe the kids all went to nice trade schools. They probably went to trade schools. And learned something useful. Yeah, a lot of the people that their parents are paying $150 an hour for private SAT tutoring, they're like, oh, I hope I get into DeVry.

Have you guys noticed that I'm vibrating with energy? Yeah, you're very tanned. Oh, thank you. That's nice of you to say. Honestly, I was thinking that my blood pressure problem that affects my eyeballs had come back. It has. See a doctor.

But I also feel like I'm glowing because I just got done seeing a 4D movie. Wow. Have y'all ever seen a 4D movie? Does that Star Wars ride at Disneyland Count? Talking about Captain EO? Yeah. Oh no, Star Tours.

Or whatever, I don't know. That's just 3Ds. Yeah. But I mean, the room is vibrating. Isn't that what constitutes 4Ds? Star Tours wasn't 3D, right? Star Tours was 2D. I think they have revamped Star Tours now and I think there are 3D glasses. Oh, okay.

And also Oscar Isaac. Really? Oh, fuck yeah. Did Oscar Isaac replace Paul Rubins, aka Pee Wee Herman? No. So the... Let me see if I can give you the status quo for all the Star Tours gang. Okay. Rex, the droid, no longer pilot Star Tours, but he's the DJ in the Cantina.

DJ Rex. Amazing. Yeah, and they still have his old dialogue playing. It's really nice, it's really cool. C-3PO now leads Star Tours, and then some of the characters will pop in via screen, so Oscar Isaac, John Boyega, et cetera. Oscar Isaac, little twinkle in his eye. You can tell he's like, yeah, I'm doing the ride.

This is for the ride. Yeah. You know, there's a little, come on. I like it. But, so a 4D movie. I have, by the way, seen a 4D movie. Have you? What movie did you see in 4D?

I saw The Nightmare Before Christmas in 4D. Oh, what the way seen a have you what movie is in 4D? I saw the nightmare before Christmas in 4D. Oh what they spray at you. Yeah, they sprayed Christmasy scents Okay, and also like there was a scent for a cauldron Mm-hmm. There's like a call just doing cauldron scent. I remember mostly pine. So alright for D Emily there's a scent component. They're spraying scents at you. There's water. That's two. And there's mists. And flashing strobe effects.

So for an explosion, it'll seem like it's going on all around. Cool, okay. So you're vibrating the seats. You're sprayed. So I mean, to call this 4D, it seems like it needs to be more Ds. Because if every one of these things is a D. Oh, I call this 4D, it seems like it needs to be more Ds. Because if every one of these things is a D.

Oh, I would put it differently, George. Yeah. If you call it 4D, it seems like one of the Ds should be dick. Right. And Lord knows. Yeah, dimension. Dimension and dick. Get a little D at the movie theater. No, I saw Twisters in 4D. Oh, I saw Twisters today myself. In how many Ds? I saw it in a standard number.

I only saw it in two Ds. Interesting. I saw it in one of the movie theaters that has an electric recliner chair, and I ate a fried chicken sandwich. Oh, that's nice. Oh, now that's doing it right. I felt like a king.

But what did they spray you with? So they didn't. You weren't sprayed with anything? You mean you can tell me you weren't sprayed? I'm just saying that I had my own thing that nauseated me slightly. Sure. Was it IMAX or was it just?

No, it was just a little, it was just, yeah, was it an Alamo draft house? Maybe if I had seen it like that, I wouldn't have walked out. OK. Yeah, and so did we all see Twister today? I saw it on Friday. Maybe if I had seen it like that, I wouldn't have walked out. Okay. Yeah. Did we all see Twister today? I saw it on Friday.

Okay. And you walked out? I walked out. Okay, wait. How many Ds? It was the iMac, so it was that big old screen. And I kind of, I saw it with Michaela Barnes from Mythical. Fabulous Mythical crew member.

We had seats where it was like we were looking at it from the right side up and it was kind of close to the front. It was kind of hard. And it was an IMAX? Yeah. That's kind of a nightmare. It was kind of a nightmare. Also, I didn't like the movie. So I walked out and got drunk at the theater bar.

Nice. McGuffins? Is that the name of it? At AMC, their bars are called McGuffins. A Sly Hitchcock reference for film fans. Oh, I didn't know that. It was the Universal City Walk. Oh, OK.

I think that is in McGuffins, then. Oh, OK. I like that bar, but it's so weird, because you can't bring the alcohol downstairs. Right. Universal City Walk. It's John Lovitz's McGuffins. John Lovitz comedy McGuffins. John Lovitz, comedy, McGuffins and podcast theater.

I love that. But yeah, you can't. You're supposed to be able to bring your drinks into the upstairs theaters. Right. But then the IMAX ones, you can't do it. I'm like, what fucking theater can I bring these into? Just tell me what movies are playing. Only the ones showing Despicable Me 4. One time, literally one time I was listening to Fresh Air

and maybe all of the Batmans, I mean the Christopher Nolan Batmans, they made an IMAX, like they actually shot them in IMAX. One time Christopher Nolan and Batman were on fresh air. They just started talking about shooting this scene on top of a skyscraper in IMAX. And I was just like, I'm going to miss this Batman movie because I'm not fucking watching that.

That sounds like a nightmare. That sounds horrible. It's like my worst nightmare to watch somebody on top of a skyscraper in IMAX. The prospect of seeing, cause I did watch it from an angle. I didn't anticipate it being such a hit film that I would have a problem getting tickets

on a Sunday morning, 11 AM show. Yeah, twister, twister's mania sweeping the nation. I bought the tickets, I bought the tickets as I was eating breakfast and all that was left was the front row. So I booked the front row and my daughter needs an easy escape row. So I booked the front row and my daughter needs an easy escape path. So I booked the corner. Yep.

So small theater. So it wasn't that bad. I love Alamo Draft Towns. Yeah. But mozzarella sticks. 10 out of 10. There you go. Oh, yeah. The mozzarella sticks are good. They're really good mozzarella sticks. Fried chicken sandwich, six out of 10. Oh. I looked up. I was looking at it diagonally. You should have had them replace the

chicken with cheese. But But if I imagine that experience transposed to an IMAX theater, that's horrific. I mean, it wasn't my biggest problem with the movie. IMAX is something I want to watch for 20 minutes. I want to watch that movie where William Randolph Hurst flies around on a biplane and lands it at Hearst Castle and call it a day. Yeah, you wanna see old Jim Cameron in his trusty submarine going into a trench of some sort.

Yeah, I wanna see something that's narrated by a celebrity that has nothing to do with the subject matter of the film. Brian Cox on the Alps. of the film. Brian Cox on the Alps. Yeah. So I don't think I can judge the quality of the film Twisters. I was having a blast getting shaken around.

I don't know that I would have liked it so much had I not been shaken and sprayed. Let me say this, Jordan. You know me. I'm a grumpy dick when it comes to normal dumb movies and I watched it on a relatively small 2d screen I thought it was great okay I really thought it was fun I thought it was a I mean it's like at some point does the protagonist say to someone who's trying to pull her back into the

game I'm not that person anymore I also clock. I also clocked before the shake-in started. In the first three minutes of movie, we get an, oh, come on, Anna, that's not a thing. So I, and that's, I was not being shaken. I'm like, whoops, maybe I should leave. Cause that is, that's really quick to have. I mean, I know those are in all movies now, but it's real quick.

It was painful in this one. Real quick, yes. That's not a thing. Whatever 42 people wrote this screenplay... Sure. ...may have hit the nail a little squarely on the head. But I was astonished at what a great job of unsquare on the nail hitting everyone else involved. I thought all the actors were wonderful.

I thought it was exciting as shit. Yeah, I really liked it. Once the shaking started, which is like five minutes into the movie, then you start going wild. My theater got so rowdy and everyone just was yelling at the screen the whole time and being crazy.

And like the first action scene, right? Light spoilers for Twisters, our main character is Delta Wound, which she will repair throughout the course of the film. Some pretty brutal stuff in there, some pretty shocking stuff, but it happens during this big shake around spray water sequence. We can say it's Stigmata. Stigmata, she has Christ's wounds. If you ever want to talk about that movie, I got 100% time for that.

I, so I, OK. And the soundtrack, too. Let me fit, I have some thoughts on Stigmata that I'll circle back to. OK, great. So everything's shaking around. We're getting water sprayed in our face. That scene ends with the main character

like covered in blood, kind of looking at the camera, thinking like, my life is over. And my theater was just going, yeah! Yes! Yes! Ah! my life is over, and my theater was just going, yeah, yes, yes, ah! Like, just screaming like they were in Mamma Mia and someone just got onto the island. Just, yes! And just this main character looking,

it's such a dissonance between how stoked the audience was and how much this main character was communicating, my life is over over with her face. Can I tell you something that came up at my house today? Sure. Oh, I want to hear before we pivot away from Twisters. No, this is Twister related. Oh, okay.

This is Twister related. So you were drinking Twopacana Twisters? Yes. The delicious juice blend? Oh, yeah. I took my child and her friend Alice to see Twisters, which was great. Love Alice. Love these little teens. Nothing better than a teen that you knew

when he was three years old. They having a brat summer over there? Yeah, all the way, all the way brat summer. Just watching a loiter squad and yeah, just great brat summer action. But at my house, just so you know, Emily, my daughter Gracie is really into like outdated technology and like old media

Cool, and so one day she Emily and grace maybe can talk sometime about Emily's vintage game gear that she still needs to get repaired Nobody can it's really hard to get game gears fixed. I took it to someplace and the guy couldn't do it. The thing is when my family got it out of storage, it was working, it turned right on. But it takes six batteries, you know, six AA batteries, and the coils were rusted. And it was working, but as soon as I replaced the batteries, it was donezo.

So I'm like, why can't you just replace the coils? Isn't that what the issue is here? But I took it to a guy, he couldn't figure it out, and everyone's like, just buy a new one. I'm like, but this is the one I had. Yeah. In sixth grade, I want this one. Emily, I went through this.

Mail us coils. If you're out there and you have coils. I will send you my Sega Game Gear if you think you can fix it. And even if you can't fix it, that's okay. Just give it a shot. Emily, we will get five offers. Okay.

And I will interview you all just to see. Who gets to fix the Game Gear? Who gets to fix my Game Gear? I went through this literal exact same thing only with an autistic 11-year-old whose entire emotional life depended on it being repaired. It was a very difficult few months of my life. Was it a Sega Game Gear?

Yeah, it was a Game Gear. It was? Was it the coils? It wasn't the coils. It was something about the display. I can't remember. It was very, very hard to fix Game Gear. What color?

Black. I had the blue one. Oh wow. I know, it's beautiful. And I even the thing is the backs, you know, the little covers that go over the batteries on the back, there's two sides with three batteries on one side, three batteries on the other. And I lost those. So it was just packaging taped in there. And then I went on eBay and I found the backs. And I was so excited. I was like, now we're in business. And then that's a repair Emily Fleming can make. I know. I found Bax. And I was so excited. I was like, now we're in business and then.

That's a repair Emily Fleming can make. I know. I'm so sad. I have a Lion King game still in there. Oh, man. I know. So my. Great animation on those little lions.

Oh, yeah. My kid has a VCR and had spent some of her allowance on buying like a pile of VHS tapes and a lot on eBay. Like, you know, 10 for $10 kind of thing. Very cool. And one of them was Twister, the movie Twister. And I actually have never seen, I've still not seen Twister. I love the original Twister.

I know Stephen Ray Morris fucking lives for it. I live for it too. I just rewatched it. It's just, it's pure 90s goodness. Well, it's also the two lead actors have chemistry, which this movie, no. Which I don't have, and I'm not sure how I got out of there. You haven't even taken it.

Yeah, exactly. Maybe you do have great chemistry. So one of the VHS tapes that she has is twister She has not seen twister I don't know why she agreed to go to twisters with me But she did but on the back of twister is something truly incredible that my wife Noticed twister is rated PG-13, right? And you know how when a movie is rated something there's a little box next to the rating that says, you know, for depictions of smoking and, you know,

whatever, whatever. Twister says, PG-13, next to it says, due to depictions of very bad weather. I love it. I love. I mean, they're not lying. It's true. That weather is very bad.

That weather is depicted therein. You know what's crazy is now that I'm an adult and none of these ratings matter, I have not paid attention to what the ratings are for any movie nowadays. Really? Is this one PG-13? PG, what was it?

I think all movies are PG-13 now. Really? I don't think you don't have to worry. yeah. Yeah, but what's like, I mean, I think I know when something's gonna be R, but there was a whole thing with like, things that were gonna be NC-17 or rated X. There was an experiment in the 90s, do adults want dark sexuality in erotic thrillers?

And it turns out they do not. I think the consensus is that- Yeah, it was basically, are we gonna let French people put their movies in our theaters or not? and it turns out they do not. I think the consensus is that... Yeah, it was basically, are we gonna let French people put their movies in our theaters or not? I think the issue was most of all that when chain movie theaters came to dominate all movie theaters,

the chain movie theater is sort of like how Blockbuster wouldn't carry things that weren't rated. You mean porn? Yeah, or like... Which everybody thought there was a back room at a Blockbuster. That was the rumor in my town. Yeah, me too, but I didn't see one.

Blockbuster had a secret porn room. But I think the movie theaters wouldn't carry them, so there was no opportunity for anyone to go see them. Yeah, it wasn't kind of like Showgirl's supposed to be the test, right? Right. Like, can this director who's hot, you know, put out this salacious movie?

Yeah. It's like, maybe that insane movie isn't a good test for will audiences like something. I can't even think of what movie other than Showgirls was X or something that was in the theater. Yeah, there were a couple of those basic instinct type movies that were, I think that was the, that was the only genre they tried.

I mean, not like, you know, they would try animation or something. But like, there was this whole, you know, the slasher genre when we were in, like college and high school and stuff with like, all the hostile movies, those couldn't have just been are. They are all they're all are. So I think what they figured out is that if you make it are, some people won't bring their kids. Right. If you make it R, some people won't bring their kids. Right. If you make it G.

Why are you doing it anyway? Quit that. If you make it G or PG, then no one will go see it because it's for pussies. Of course, Jordan and I know pussies are strong. We know that. So we would say for Clary's sake. Jesse was inhabiting a character there. He was inhabiting the character.

I don't know who you think you're offending. If that character were me, of course, I would say ball sacks. Sure. Those need all the production they can get. Right. Have we covered our bases? Are you okay? Are you mad at us? Are you mad at us? Okay. They're good. Everyone's good. No one's mad at us. But yeah, I think no one will go see a G or PG movie.

Also, my pussy is not strong. My pelvic floor is crumbling before you at the moment. Really? We could fix that with some kegels. Did you know if you pee in the shower, that is bad for your pelvic floor? Really? It's one of my favorite things to do. I think it's bad for your shower floor.

Fuck my shower floor. I rent. OK. Take that, landlord. That's the new, like, you have to disclose if someone died in the house. Right. You have to disclose if it was in the shower.

Everybody pees in the shower. Immediately when that water hits my back, I gotta go. Oh yeah? Yeah, hell yeah. Also, I have fake red hair. It's just like, everything is a tinge of orange in my whole shower. Is it dye? Is it urine? Yeah. Or is it, you know, am I bleeding in there? Always. I was on my period the other day and I was like making up a song, you know, that hoping and

praying and loving. I'm like pissing and bleeding and bleeding and pissing. Like I just like add that in my head. So pissing and bleeding and bleeding and pissing. I just like add that in my head. So pissing and bleeding. Record that song, Weird Al, you coward. Hey Weird Al, you're a coward if you don't record that. Listen, I need to write at Weird Al an email about how cowardly he is. Can we take a break and come back for a bit more? Yeah, and I have to celebrate my brat summer

by yelling at our new producer for bringing me a poochow melon Yeah that doesn't look like a... what was the name of your candy? Zod? What was it? Zod's. Yeah, no this is a poochow. Kneel before Zod's. I know. Yeah what the fuck is that thing? We'll be back. I'm not actually mad at you Stephen. I'm doing a very good job. I'm doing Brat Summer. You're doing a great job. We like you. Don't quit. It is kind of a bratty thing to do to give you the Summer. You're doing a great job. We like you. Don't quit. It is kind of a bratty thing to do, to give you the wrong candid.

It is a little bit. That's true. So we're all having a... Oh, he bratted me. He bratted. Yay. The brat got bratted. Oh.

I guess we've all been funk-tified by the brats. Just a second on Jordan Jesse go It's Jordan Jesse go I am Jesse Thorne America's radio sweetheart Jordan Morris boy Detective this episode of Jordan Jesse go of course supported by the members of MaximumFun.org. The member listeners, the folks who listen to Jordan Jesse Goh and become members by going to MaximumFun.org slash join. If you're a long time member we thank you. If you're a new member we thank you. If you're about to become a member we are ever grateful to you. That is the money that pays our bills so we thank you very much. We also this week have a message up on our Jumbotron. Yes we do! This is from someone who went to maximumfund.org slash Jumbotron and decided to kick us a

little bit of money to share a message with the world. This message is from Robert and they would like you to know, listen to this album available on all streaming platforms. And we're going to tell you about the album they're talking about. West North by Poplar, P-O-P-L-R, like the tree, only without the A at the end. This instrumental album could be your soundtrack

when walking, hiking, maybe an adventure in a national park. Ooh, that sounds nice. Warm guitar and bright glockenspiel. Also good if you're an indoor kid. Maybe you're working, drawing, meditating. It's a good companion for time you spend in your head, even if you don't like instrumental music. It's like a dessert topping and a floor wax streaming everywhere. Hope you like it.

Are you tired of muted glockenspiels? Poplar has you all set. No, this glockenspiel is going to sing. Thank you to Robert for supporting the show and also giving us an excuse to say glockenspiel, which we rarely do on the show. Yeah. If you're out there as Itherheads, go to maximumfun.org slash jumbotron. if you're out there, Zitherheads, go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. If you're performing the soundtrack to The Third Man. Best, best zither in the business, if you ask me. Hey, Jesse, I got a message for the people of the San Francisco Bay Area. Oh, well, that's where I'm from, Jordan. I'll amplify it for you.

Thank you. And yeah, let me know if I'm getting anything wrong about micro neighborhoods or things like that. We don't call it San Fran or Frisco. Okay, I won't say either of those things. Yeah, we just call it San Francisco. San Francisco, I'll say San Francisco. I won't shorten it in any way. On August 2nd, I'm gonna be at Book Passage in the Ferry Building with Maggie Takuta Hall.

She's gonna be talking about in her new book, The Worst Ronin. I'm gonna be talking about Youth Group. We're gonna be having a good time. Free for everybody, but we hope you'll pick up a couple of books while you're there. 530 Book Passage in San Francisco. I've been doing some events for the new book. Some of them have been huge blockbusters, some of them not.

So if it sounds fun to you, please show up. We love to have an audience for goofing around. We'll find a fun place for some drinks afterwards. And I've been doing book events and they've been really nice. And so far no one has stood up during the Q&A and asked a like weird inside joke Jordan Jessie Go question.

I'd like someone to do that. Yeah, just go for it. Just if someone does it before you, don't you do it after them. But I think one would be fun. Yeah. So please, fairy building, August 2nd, book passage, come on down, me and Maggie Takuna Hall, it's gonna be a lot of fun. You wanna go to the Acme Bakery there in the fairy building, bring me back a sour boule?

Yes, I would love to, Jesse. Give me an extra sour boule. Right, I would love to, Jesse. Give me an extra sour boule. Right, you got it, baby. It's going to spend some time in my trunk, but it's going to get right to your mouth. Jesse, the old Judge John Hodgman show's going on tour, right? We are going on tour.

You can find all of the dates at maximumfun.org slash events. We're heading to places we have not been before, places we have been before and to which we are returning. It starts in September. It is our Road Court Tour, as evidenced by our Roadhouse-themed t-shirts and merch that everyone's going to love seeing. But yeah, that's a big show. You don't have to be a Judge John Hodgman fan to have a good time out there. It is a real soup to nuts show with costumes and a set and music and live pettiness on stage,

us making people do embarrassing things. Everywhere from Ann Arbor, Michigan to our nation's capital, to the snowy state of Maine, up and down the West Coast, Vancouver, British Columbia, maximumfun.org slash events is where you can find all of those show dates. And do get your tickets now because some of those things are filling up. I just saw Ann Arbor, Michigan is almost sold out. Ann Arbor, get on it. You don't want to miss out. It's a really fun time out coming out to the Judge John

Hodren show. Oh, and guess what? There's a fucking Los Angeles show in January. Guess who's going to be performing on that show. I don't know. It's two cute boys that you know. I don't know. It's two cute boys.

Steven, who's two cute boys that you know? You guys. That's right. Zach and Cody from The Suite Life. No, Zach and we will be doing that show, and then Zach and Cody will be coming in and taking over this show. It's going to be a lot of fun.

Yeah, no, Jordan Jesse Goh going to be opening for Judge John Hodgman in LA. So if you're in Southern California, get your tickets to that show. It's going to be at Dynasty's Hyperwriter right across the street from Max Fun HQ. Gorgeous. Great theater. Went to see a fun improv show there with my kid the other day. Had a nice time. Dynasty Typewriter. They have great shows. Yeah. Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go. It's Jordan and Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Emily pissing in the shower, Fleming. I don't know. Yeah, no, it's fine. Thank you. That's great. Yeah. How was the lollipop?

You finished it. I love this lollipop. Whoever brought these and puts them in that candy thing, every time I come in the studio, I grab it. Our colleague KT, shout out to KT. Thank you, KT. I think maybe like six months ago in the Max Fun Drive, there was a guess the number of candies into something something contest

that led to us having a lot of candies and just started putting them in a bowl. Wow. I love it. Molly, as many Zots as you put out there. Apparently we ran out of Zots lot of candies and just started putting them in a bowl. Wow. I love it. I'll eat as many Zots as you put out there. Apparently we ran out of Zots because somebody was eating them all.

And so she had to go back and get the same weird candy mix that has Zots in it. I'm gonna get some candy and bring it. I have not contributed to the candy bowl and I really should. I like going to Daiso a lot. So I'll go ahead and get something from Daiso. I'll do anything to go to Daiso.

I basically- I love Daiso. I consider Christmas to be the Daiso holiday. Hell yeah. It's the time when I get to go to Daiso and buy shit to put into my children's stockings. Well, I get all of my packaging because I have an Etsy store, Flem Gems, if anyone wants to go on Etsy

and shop for my jewelry. And all of my packaging is from Daiso. The little cute Sanrio, Ziploc baggies, and little boxes and stuff. And it's pretty cheap, and I just buy a ton of that, and I love their little packages and things. I go to Dyson every Christmas and get people a hand dryer. Yes.

Dyson. Yeah. Anyway, I go to Datsun and get people a hand dryer Yeah, anyway, I go to Datsun and get everybody it's now called a Nissan Yeah, Stephen, where do you go? Is there another one of these I know the only thing I thought it was Mike Tyson never, clear it out, clear it out. Cut it, cut it, cut it. No, it's my fault, it's my fault. Oh, before we get to calls, which we have, someone called in with momentous occasion. Emily, do you have a like, top three or top one complaint about twisters that you'd like to share?

I found the two- Do you know when you walked out? Okay, the two leads had zero chemistry, I just did not- Are you talking about the blonde lady in the guy from Hamilton or are you talking about the blonde lady and movie star of the moment, Glenn Powell? She wasn't blonde. She was brunette, the main girl. No, she was pretty blonde. Okay. Well- Because I noticed that she was very blonde and her mom played by Maura Tierney was completely brunette. Oh, and that is the almost, I almost stayed just for Maura Tierney.

I love her so much. Oh, no choice but to stan this legend. I love her so much. A big news radio fan, and I adore her. I was medium on the acting in the film, and then Maura Tierney has that scene, and just fucking nails some okay not super funny lines.

I'm like, oh, some people are very good. Exactly. There are some people who are very good and can just fucking nail something. I stayed for that part and then when girlfriend started dancing by herself in the barn is when I went went I'm out Was so I was like this thing feels like it is written by a Hallmark movie person and also, I know everybody's hot for trot for Glenn Powell and I Don't

Everybody wants some he's at least as good as Joel Edgerton or Charlie Hunnam. Who is that? Or Joel Kinman. He's at least as good as Joel Kinman. Who's that? Who are these people? Yeah, and these are kind of like generic white guys who tried to make movie stars a couple years ago and didn't take.

Yeah, I think he's great and I think he should have a career and all that stuff, but it just, the chemistry between those two people, like I guess I love, I'm tired of watching people in their 20s in movies. I'm tired. I don't believe that you have a degree. I don't believe that you know shit about tornadoes.

I don't believe that you know how to wash your ass properly. I don't know. It's just- I don't believe anything from that Puerto Rican guy from Hamilton. I love that guy. Yeah, that guy was great. Everyone else-

I did think they, he and the lead had better chemistry than she and Glenn Powell. Absolutely. Yeah, that's true. But yeah, it just feels like the first twister and of course, it's like I'm an old lady. I guess I'm partial to that one. It was nice watching grown ass adults. Like Bill Paxton's a man. He's a real man. I like watching a man. An interesting thing about that movie and everyone being a tornado expert. Basically all characters in the movie are tornado experts. Well, some of them are just TikTokers, which I was like, oh my God.

Yeah, there's a little team of YouTube people. These boomer fucking producers had to fit this stuff in here with, I just couldn't do it. But even they are like, they know shit about tornadoes. Like no one is supposed to be dumb, right? I loved it, eight out of 10.

Everyone is- That's all right. Everyone's a tornado expert, but the audience is not, right? So they do have to explain tornado shit throughout the movie. It's ridiculous. And I'm like, or when I was watching them do this, I'm thinking to myself,

or you could just not explain it because I'm not understanding it. What do you mean explain it? Because at some point in the movie, the main girl was just like, no one really knows how tornadoes work. And I went, well, what the fuck is this movie? I just I hate this movie. But they were not supposed to teach you about tornadoes. They just shut the fuck up about it and get in the tornado, god damn it.

Get up there, start flying around. I was so, ugh, god. That's not fair criticism. Just get in the tornado already. Get up there. God damn. So there's, so you know, they try, right? My girlfriend said to me on prom night.

No she didn't. They like try to do it where like they try and let you know. Jesse, it's great. You should definitely try it. It should come. Eight out of 10. Eight out of 10. I will make this point that is like not as funny

as the stuff you've been saying, but I'll just finish it so we can go to the calls. So they have to like explain some things to the audience and it'll be these two characters who are tornado experts, and one will go like, oh, yeah, well, we have to take the moisture velocity up past the dew point. And I just wanted every time that happened for the other character to go, I know, I'm a tornado expert.

Yes. Yeah. Why are you explaining it to me? We know the same stuff. The extent to which the script is the weak point of this film cannot be overstated. Jesse, that's not a thing. Jordan, you know about this.

And I think, look, if you're a longtime Jordan Jesse Goh listener, I apologize for the same story being told many times on Jordan Jesse Goh. It's for me. I don't know it. It's for you, Emily, and for Steven. They like it, it's why people rewatch Frasier. It's comforting, you fall asleep to it.

I love how you said Frasier, like everybody else calls it like the office in Parks and Rec are the ones people rewatch, but you went Frasier. Some people do Frasier, right? I like that a lot, and now I want to do that with Frasier. Anyway, I think people find it soothing and comforting. I think there's a lot of polls you could have done for that reference. I went to do that with Frasier. Anyway, I think people find it soothing and comforting. I think there's a lot of polls you could

have done for that reference. I went to Arts High School, which I think has something to do with why I did not have to take those science classes. Yeah, probably. I know that Mr. Kelly, the biology teacher, had a gun at school, a handgun. Anyway.

Where are you from? That's just San Francisco for you. Oh, wow. Anyway, in the theater department, That's just San Francisco for you. Oh, wow. Anyway, in the theater department, we had artists in residence teaching classes. So they weren't like, you know, certified teachers or whatever. But we had a very, very nice playwriting teacher named Scott. And Scott was a successful playwright and dramaturg.

But he was also kind of he was kind of a tired old man of the kind that had like come to San Francisco in the late 70s to just like, you know, fuck a swath through the men of the world. And then just kind of like gotten to the end of it and been like, oh, geez, I guess my thing now is I just have to go teach high school students playwriting because I can only get so many plays produced at regional theaters or whatever, you know what I mean? That kind of thing. So he was

both really, really lovely and charming and kind of tired. And you know, maybe 60 ish, something like that. And there was a kid in my class named Jonah. Nice guy. Texted with him the other day. But he was always fucking mouthing off. Nice. Having a little brat summer over there. Oh, yeah. Jonah's a brat summer baby. He was absolute brat summer all the time for Jonah. And one day in class, one day in class,

Jonah was fucking talking shit or whatever. And Scott, the playwriting teacher said, Jonah, shut up. You've probably never even had sex. Had he? I bet not. Probably not. I mean, look, Jonah's a handsome guy and everything. But you know, we were probably 16.

I would put it at, I put it at 65, 35. I mean, just as Scott ascertained, he probably had never had sex. And it was the most devastating thing anyone has ever said out loud to have an adult tell you to shut up because you've never had sex. And Scott, I think, being not usually the kind of person who would destroy someone, well, who would destroy a child in a classroom situation, I'm sure he did in his day-to-day life, but he realized it. Like you could just see it on his face,

like, oh no, I'm not in a group of grumpy theater guys that are all 60. And, you know, hanging out at Hamburger Mary's in the Castro, just fucking destroying passers by. That is a teen who's my student. And, and he said, he like rescued it by saying, he said, ah, you know, it's overrated. But then he thought about it for a minute and he goes, but it's underrated too. What the fuck? And I was like, first of all,

he was right about telling Jonah to shut up. Again, Jonah's a good dude, but he needed to shut up at the time. Two, he was right about Jonah probably not having had sex and that being a good reason for him to shut the fuck up. Right. Dead right about that. Number three, right about sex being overrated. Number four, right about sex being underrated. Wow. That's how he became a playwright. Away with words. Insight into the human condition. He knew that Jonah needed to fuck up. He knew that sex was both, could never be as good

as we imagine it to be, but also, every time is better than we remembered. Yes, yes. Can I tell you a story about a similar thing? Yes. Okay, when I was in middle school, public school, we had a guy who was there. First of all, my school was also a public school, but go ahead. Well, yeah, okay.

But yeah, so in my middle school, there was a guy who came to do a residency as well. I don't know why we got to do that. And he was from- I also went to a public school. Oh, God. Don't think I'm a- Jesus Christ. Well, I didn't do it in high school.

I went to private school, so I'm a fucking sellout. Oh God. Don't do it in high school. Don't do it in public school. Jesus Christ. Well, I didn't do it in high school. I went to private school, so I'm a fucking sellout. So sorry about that. But no, there was this guy who, he was like an actor with the Tennessee Repertory Theater. So he came and taught a Shakespeare class, like after school Shakespeare class to a group of us. I'd say there was 20 of us.

And then we did the complete works of William Shakespeare, which is usually like three people do that and they play all the parts. And this is like a comedy. Yes. Like a slapsticky thing and they like, at the very end of it, you kind of go through all of Shakespeare's works and they're condensed. It kind of sounds like this guy was sort of making Shakespeare fun. Oh, he was. But then we did for the entire student body, we did the play for people during school. And but there wasn't three of us, there's like 20 of us. So we like split up

all the parts. At the end, you're doing Hamlet. And then every time you do it, you do it the first time and it's like, I don't know, 20 minutes long. And then they're like, again, but faster. And then it's like, we do everything faster. And then it ends up just like everyone dying at the end. So everybody just stabs each other or drinks poison and dies. So I'm in front of the entire student body and someone fake stabs me or whatever. And I fall to the ground and I'm in like, on the ground, I'm in a 90 degree angle. Like my legs are out and I'm sitting up this girl falls on my back and my nose hits the floor between my legs and she rolls out and I can't get out of the position. Oh my gosh. And everybody and I'm like panicking. So you're just there by she's

no longer on you she's just broken. No she was on me for like a second then she rolls off me and I'm like my arms are to my side and I couldn't like get out of the position. I start like hyperventilating and like everyone freaks out fire trucks show up. The entire like student body is still there watching. Everyone thought it was fire trucks were there because they had been called. They call injury not or to see the spinal injury. So I think firefighters might also like to have Shakespeare made fun. Well, totally. But it's like the ambulance comes and then two fire trucks to accompany the ambulance because it's like a spinal injury. They're afraid that I'm going to not be able to walk or

something. By the way, Jordan, you don't have to make fun of Shakespeare to make Shakespeare. Thank you. That's true. He was the first rapper. I say that. But yes. The bar of the Stratford-Apolliney boss. But yeah, so they had to like, they got me out of the position somehow. It was like slowly, they were like, I don't know. The paramedics are kind of like stretching me out. Meanwhile, the whole student body is still there watching. At first, they thought it was part of the show.

They thought it was part of the show. And they're all laughing like, this is crazy. But then it's like slowly, everybody is getting quiet and I can't get out of the show. They thought it was part of the show. And they're all laughing like this is crazy but then it's like slowly everybody is getting quiet and I can't get out of the situation. They're realizing something's rotten in Denmark. Yeah and so they I can't believe I just remember this story. This is another fucked up story from my life that exists. And so they put me on the stretcher the whole head thing and they put me in the ambulance and I go and they're taking x-rays and stuff and it looks like everything's fine but I definitely like muscles or something I pulled something because it hurt a lot but yeah and then my mom took

me to Taco Bell. Hey, that's really lovely. So yeah I remember just like the drama of the whole thing. We have a momentous occasion. Oh yeah I forgot about that. Mm-hmm. That's a part of our show. It is. It's a fan favorite part, some might say. Well, because it's the only part. Right. There's the thing before the woman's occasion. Yeah, there's like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, miscellaneous bullshit, miscellaneous bullshit.

And then there's promo code for CBD gummies. And some people forget to turn off the podcast after getting the promo code. That's the people this is for. It's the momentous occasion, and Stephen's gonna play it now. Jordan, Jesse, and Go, this is Emma from Ontario. I'm calling in with a momentous occasion, which is that today while visiting my parents, I went through a drive-through dispensary

to pick up some edibles that used to be the Tims that my mom and I would go to to pick up some edibles that used to be the Tim's that my mom and I would go to To pick up treats after my swim lessons. So Some things change some things stay the same. I'm still getting treats. Have a great day guys. Bye. That's Tim Hortons Tim Hortons So your two main food chains in Canada are gonna be Tim Hortons and A&W. A&W, very big in Canada.

Really? Yeah. I actually learned, Emily, from our friend Dave Schumka of stop podcasting yourself of what A&W stands for. What does it stand for? Hamburgers and Wood Beer. I have 100% time for that joke. All credit to Dave Schumka. I have a hundred percent time for that joke.

All credit to Dave Schumka. I love that. Times they are a-changin', huh? The old Timmy's is now slingin' the hash. Oh boy, 2024, here we are. It's just gonna get crazier. Can I say this, Jordan? When I've been eating edibles, I could really go for a donut.

Yeah. Hashtag munchies. Sure. Hashtag munchies. Did you write the Twisters movie? I did write the movie Twisters. It was originally about those braided donuts. Oh, right.

There you go. It was originally, it was originally about those braided donuts. Oh, right. Oh, there you go. And fucking Spielberg got his hands on it. Coming Soon, Crullers, starring Sydney Sweeney and Joel Edgerton. Yeah. Boy, the names. Is that a real guy's name? Yeah, I was using all those guy names.

And, you know, we all wish Glenn Powell a long and healthy career. Of course! Sidney Sweeney is a busty starlet. Love her. Yeah, yeah. They were in a rom-com together, and it kind of started their trajectory as the only people who will be in movies for a few years.

Yep, yep. Every couple years, they'll pick a dude, put him in a bunch of stuff, and then it doesn't take, and he goes away. These are Joel Kinman, Joel Edgerton. What about that guy from Avatar? That's Joel Edgerton. That's Sam Worthington.

And yes, Charlie Hunnam, another one of these. So we all wish Glenn Powell a long and hearty career. Of course I do. We all want him to stretch. He might be Batman. Jordan is just do. We all want him to stretch. He might be Batman. Jordan is just reading out of his high school yearbook. Sure.

These are people who signed my yearbook. I feel really bad for criticizing Glenn Powell. The thing is, a lot of people love him and that's great. I loved Everybody Wants Some. What's that? That's a fucking Richard Linklater movie about a bunch of fucking people on a college baseball team before college starts. And then a girl that went to arts high school, it's basically just like, shit, Jesse's interested

in the movie and it rules. Where did that come from? We were just talking about Glenn Powell. Glenn Powell is it? You're saying Glenn Powell things you like. Oh, he's in that? Yeah, he's like the star of it. Oh, I didn't.

He's great in that. Oh, okay, all right. He's like buddies with Linklater. So he's got a little arc scene. He's buddies with Linklater? Yeah, and he's in that Linklater movie that everybody loves. I haven't gotten to see it yet.

What is it? Hitman. Hitman? I haven't seen it either. I bet I'll love it because I love those Linklater movies. Oh, I didn't know about it. Now I'm going to find out about it. Probably not.

So we hope Powell is't a Hunnam. We want him to thrive. I mean, to be clear, Stephen Ray Morris wishes him ill. Oh. I'm jealous. God, I wish I could see him. You're at least as hot as Glenn Powell, Stephen. Yeah, totally.

Thank you. And Stephen, you have the rare quality to make a bad boy warm and likeable. Right, yeah. That's the nicest thing anyone's a bad boy warm and like a right? Yeah That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. He's being a jerk, but he's got a little smirk At the end of the day he's a good dude a good dude He's a little rough around the edges and he says what he means and he says what he's real He's a little brat. He's a little brat. He's a little brat who says what he means.

Steven, you know who I bet is having a fucking great brat summer? Who? Bill Maher. Jesus. Okay. Why do you say that, Jesse? That's just that guy's fucking lame.

He is a little brat. He really is, that's a great description. That guy's fucking living it up in his podcast. I'm gonna be Islamophobic on my podcast. I'm a little brat That's gonna mean it's okay for me to be a total fucking asshole. Jesse, I feel like you're denigrating your chicken sandwich by calling Bill Maher six out of 10 funny. How dare you. How dare you. That's very fair. Apologize to the sandwich. I know it's rat summer, but the sandwich didn't deserve that.

I'm sorry, sandwich. I appreciate that you had a fucking Brussels sprout slaw on you. Oh nice. You know what, it's a fun topic. You don't have to put Brussels sprouts on everything. I cook the Brussels sprouts, it makes them taste better. Yeah. Anyway. Just make a cabbage slaw.

Sure, I mean there's a lot of fun things to make slaw out of. Mm, cabbage. Jesse, you're supposed to be apologizing to the sandwich, not putting it down further. Sorry. Might want to bury the hatchet with the sandwich. Sorry, sandwich, you were pretty good, and your french fries were also pretty good. Even though you were thicker than the kind of french fries I usually like, you add a lot of good flavor.

Yeah, gotta get the mozzarella sticks next time. Of course, all french fries are beautiful. That's true, all french fries are beautiful. And now that we've learned something, we can take a little break, reflect on all the good takes we've made, and come back from a little bit. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Alison Brie was the star of the Netflix series, Glow. Being a gorgeous lady at wrestling isn't easy. Especially when it's time to get in the ring. Wrestling is so interesting in that you can't do anything halfway. Okay, so now it's time to run at that woman's body and dive over her head first.

Like you can't do that halfway. You can't do that in slow motion. Alison Brie on Tights and Fights. Max Fun's perfect wrestling podcast, available now. And if you don't listen. I'll see you in the ring. Hi, this is Biz, and this is the final season of One Bad Mother, a comedy podcast about parenting.

This is going to be a year of celebrating all that makes this podcast and this community magical. This is still a show about life after giving life. And yes, there will be swears. You can find us on maximumfun.org. And as always, you are doing a great job. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh,

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetie. Jordan Morris Boyd, Detective. I'm Emily and I'm... Did you say the other one? I got cramps, Fleming. Sure. You seem to have... I mean, you're rubbing your calf like this is a calf cramp.

No, no. I just had an itch. Fucking mosquitoes, man. I got mosquito right on the ankle, right on my way into fucking... You know what hey This is my this is a line from Gail my mom You know why the mosquitoes like you guys so much is this week cuz you're so sweet I love that you and I both have moms with mom names that are so good. Oh, yeah Gail and Lois

Oh, Jesse has Judy. Oh, that's such a good mom name. Judy, Steven, what's your mom's name? My mom's name is Ramona. Whoa, that's a cool name. I was eight. Yeah. My mom's name is Super Fudge. Yeah.

Yeah. I wanted, I was hoping it was, not hoping, but I was anticipating a thing where I'm like, Steven, what's your mom's name? And then you come on the mic and you say, we don't speak. Oh no. Okay. Hey, what movies have you guys got coming up on Free With Ads?

Ooh, Free With Ads, our movie podcast. Well, this is your podcast where you watch movies that you can watch for free on the internet. Yes, exactly. And we run the gamut. We've done some classics. We've done The Godfathers. We've done The Sting, but we also will do your Aliens vs Predators. We just watched a wild Jaws ripoff from 1980 called Alligator. Loved it. Starring Robert Forster. Jesse, you probably have a VHS of it in your house somewhere. I think Grace would love this movie.

She might very well, because she loves shark movies. I think definitely get on to be Show Grace Alligator. Yes, we do it all. Coming up we have a weird made-for-TV Incredible Hulk movie from 1982. With Lou Ferrigno? With Lou Ferrigno. They tried to introduce Daredevil. The Trial of the Incredible Hulk. The Trial of the Incredible Hulk.

But hey, Emily, let me know if you have a different- Is it a courtroom drama? Eh. They- Wouldn't that be great? That's what they promise. And then they didn't deliver, really. For change of venue.

That's what you want. There's one dream sequence. It's disappointing. One courtroom dream sequence and that's it. If I was gonna suggest a place to start, Grease 2, right? Yeah, I think Grease 2 is a good one. I love the over the top episode.

Someone who joined maximumfun.org got to pick the movie and they picked over the top, the Sylvester Stallone long haul trucking, long lost father slash arm wrestling movie? Competitive arm wrestling movie, yeah. You've seen it. I've never seen over the top. I know it only as did you know that Sylvester Stallone

made an arm wrestling movie. It rules, it rules. I love that movie so much. But yeah, Emily, we're having a great time over there at Free With Ads and Matt Lieb joins us there every week making stings, goofing around, and we have a ton of fun. We hope, if you like this show, you'll give us a shot. I feel like I like Rocky so much

that I have such an overflowing surfeit of goodwill towards Sylvester Stallone that no amount of bad movies he could make will ruin it, which is good because he's made nothing but bad movies other than the movie Rocky, other than Rocky. I don't know, Over the Top might change your mind. I think you're, I think this is- What's the one where he's a country singer?

Oh, oh fuck, I know the name of the- I'm so excited to watch this. Is it called Rhinestone? Rhinestone Cowboy or Rhinestone, yeah. But it's hard to find that movie. It's really hard to find. If that's ever free with ads somewhere, we're doing it. I love that movie.

Yeah, I think Over the Top shares some little nuggets with Rocky in a way that might make it fun if the kids wanna watch it. I'm not saying put it on, but if someone's like, have you heard about this thing? It's pretty. They keep bothering me to watch Cop Land. They say, he's crying, he's sliced back, and he's lost in the role.

Now hang on, there is, what's the movie where it's, you know, he's with Sandra Bullock and it's in the future. Oh, Demolition Man. Demolition Man rules. Okay. That's a good one. Demolition Man, sorry to share things we've said before on this show, movie I've never seen,

but I did have a Taco Bell mini poster on my wall. Oh hell yeah, you gotta see that movie. That was peak, whatever year that came out, 94 or whatever, that was peak fast food tie-in. I think I had a Congo digital watch. Oh my god, that is so weird that fast food tied into Congo Congo was scary as hell Those monkeys are talking they were crazy monkey not talk They were talking in Congo like with sign language and then one had the yeah, you know voice box that hooked up to her

God, I gotta watch that movie. Yeah, okay. Well free with ads is Miniature episode just there. That's what it's like. Yeah. Also, Matt plays little songs. Matt will play a little song. I love the little songs. Free With Ads. That's it.

Very funny show. Everybody should be listening to Free With Ads. You got to come on and do a movie. Be thrilled to come on. Emily, it's been great to have you on Jordan and Jesse Go. I hope you'll come back soon. Thank you for having me. Jordan and Jesse Go, our theme music,

love you by the free design, courtesy of the free design and Light in the Attic Records. Do you like how I said the name of the show in case people were wondering what show they were listening to? Well, if they're just flipping channels and they landed on this, like, oh, Emily. Quick reset. Stephen Ray Morris is the producer of our program.

Brian Sunday DeFranandes, our producer emeritus, went to the ball game this past week with Brian Sunday DeFranandes. Oh, hey. Had a nice time with Brian. Turns out Brian lives so close to Dodger Stadium, you can just park your car at his house and walk. So if you're going to the Dodger game, park at Brian's.

Yeah, invite Brian. So pays off big time. Plus, you get to enjoy his company. Good guy. Good guy. Write in and tell me what qualities I share with the character I inspired. Thorne, the sexy wiccan.

Well, you're both very close to nature. That's true. I consider you a man who's very close to nature. You mean I'm unwashed. That's true. I consider you a man who's very close to nature. You mean I'm unwashed. That's right, and you eat leaves. Yeah. That's funny. OK, that's all.

We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jessie. Oh, wait, no. We're on Instagram now. Yeah. Yes, we're on Instagram. Jordan Jessie Go Pod. Yay. We've joined 10 years ago.

Send your dank memes to Stephen. Yes. Jordan Jessie Go Pod. Whoever puts out the dankest meme Send your dank memes to steven at jordanjesse go pod Whoever puts out the the dankest meme will win dankest meme of the week award What's the prize for this our gratitude for your dankness? Dankest meme or if you're not on Instagram just post it on reddit at maximum fun reddit.com and then we'll post it on. Sounds like fun. We'll steal your memes, we don't give a shit. We love your memes, we love to steal them.

We want dank memes, we want dank memes. It's Wario saying, I gotta get a son or whatever. People would love that shit. People are gonna love that. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan and Jessica. Bye! Love you and kiss you and love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you