Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Slurb Slurb, with Jenny Yang

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

This week, we welcome comedian, writer, and actor Jenny Yang (The Brothers Sun), to chat about their favorite tropes, competitive hangs, the time she fought Michelle Yeoh on tv, and so much more!See everything Jenny Yang. Make style easy—get started today at Stitch Fix dot com slash JJGO.That’s Stitch Fix dot com slash JJGO.Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Jordan Morris is doing a book tour for Youth Group! See Jordan at Baltimore Comic-Con, September 20th - 22nd! Come see Judge John Hodgman: Road Court  live in a town near you! Jesse and John will be all over the country so don't miss your change to see them. Check the events page to find out where!Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram. 

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorn, America's Radio Sweethearts. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Jordan, how do you like recording in our new recording studio here at Maximum Fun, which is the same old recording studio but with different color fabric on the walls. We've also installed about eight feet of false vines and this bathroom shelf.

Yeah, it's great. I think the vines are giving. Listen to me with my kid's slang. It's giving. Internet. You know what? I've been on it. If you ask me, it's giving thanks. Sure. Yes. Thank you. I was gonna say the Vine, it's giving suburban Italian restaurant. Yeah, I think that's very fair.

I think that's very fair. Yeah, where you take grandma when she comes to town. I thought it was maybe giving, romancing the stone. Maybe a little bit of that, yeah. Ooh, maybe we'll start a will they won't thing. A little friends to lovers, enemies to lovers. Is that romancing the stone? They don't like each other at first?

Enemies to lovers. Yeah, just we need to dive into those tropes, Jesse. We need more tropes on this show. I've been saying we need more tropes. I really agree. Man versus machine. Sure, what about man versus nature? I feel like we almost never go up against nature on this show. Man versus machine. Sure, what about man versus nature?

I feel like we almost never go up against nature on this show. Oh, yeah. We're out here letting nature do its thing when we should be standing up to it. Steven, you've been doing a great job booking the show lately, including booking our guest, who I think we're really excited to talk about. But can you book an avalanche for next week?

I'll see if there are veils, especially into the fall. That's kind of when they have things to promote. Right, yeah, yeah. It's like trying to book Elvira in October. I understand. Exactly. Yeah. I think the Avalanche has a show at Largo, Avalanche and Friends.

I have a question. Do you think maybe you could be the chosen one? Oh, are you reading a list of tropes off your phone? Yeah, just checking out some tropes. Yeah, chosen one, that's a fun trope. I mean, you have an absent parent that could lead you to be the chosen one. Yeah. If we could just get rid of Sharon, you're definitely...

Well that's off the table. She's lovely. Hey, listen, if getting rid of my beloved mother prevents me from being the chosen one, I say choose someone else. Yeah, Eddie Murphy, right? Eddie Murphy. He's the golden child. Golden child, yeah.

He's the golden child. Okay. A lot of great chosen ones out there. That's a great point. Shohei Otani. Sure. Good example. So we got Eddie Murphy in the golden child. Sure. Good example. I chose who we got, Eddie Murphy in The Golden Child.

Yep. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, Christ himself, Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Of course. He was chosen to have magic. Right. And invent his own game in the sky.

I don't know a lot about Harry Potter, and I've chosen not to learn more. Well, then you're a kind of chosen one yourself. That's a really good point. God chose me to not know anything about Harry Potter. Should we introduce our guest? Yes. Okay. Our guest is a stand-up comic actor and television writer. She's also, within the last calendar year appeared on Netflix, just getting

absolutely fucking destroyed. Just had the shit kicked out of her on television. Jenny Yang. Hi, Jenny. Wow. What an intro. Honestly, I thought you were going to say that I kicked ass, but you know, to each their own. I was definitely destroyed and kicked. We'll find out Jenny, over the course of the next 70 minutes or so, we'll find out if you kick ass. This is all a test. Listen, I'm great at tests. Also, I've already given myself a competitive game for this hang because as our mutual friend Matt Lieb has done

He was a guest on this podcast and and I really dug that he got to have the sort of Comradery with you right as fellow UC Santa Cruz's I forgot snot snot. What is it? Not not I forgot what it is. Yeah It's not not sounds like something we like yelled at each other across the quad Okay, like hey, bro. It's not not Sound is of your mascot. Anyway, I'll see the banana slug. What sound does the banana? I don't know. I think it's not snot. Okay. Yeah, cuz it's slurb. Yeah slurb slurb. Don't eat me I'm slightly poisonous if ingested

So I've already given myself the game of trying to one up his sort of nerd-bro-combrodery, a lot of jizz jokes, kind of a thing on that episode, you know? I think you're going to do great. I think you're going to destroy Leib. Would you say that the two of you have an unlikely friendship or that you're star-crossed lovers? Are you reading off a list of tropes? Yeah, I'm just reading off this list of tropes. that the two of you have an unlikely friendship or that you're star-crossed lovers?

You're reading off a list of tropes? Yeah, I'm just reading off this list of tropes. I think we could be unlikely friends. I think so. But I mean, why unlikely, you know? I don't know. You have curly hair, I have straight hair. Okay, there you go.

There's the wedge between us and now we go on a journey of some kind. I have bangs. Yeah. I identify as a banged American. Jenny, you have light blonde hair. Jordan has darker sandy blonde hair. Listen.

So yeah, we see each other from across the room and I'm like, I don't like you. I hope nothing ever brings us together. And then something does. And then something does. It always does. It's usually the death of a parent once again. I feel like that really does happen. Oh, yes.

Storytelling. I mean- Joseph Campbell. I think we can all agree. Joseph Campbell. It could be secretly royal or insta-love. Insta-love. I don't know. So when you fall in love on Instagram? Yeah.

Secretly royal sounds fun. I would love to learn that I have royal blood. Yes. I actually recently... Time to test my blood. All right. Have you done Ancestry? No, I haven't done 23andMe or anything like that. Have either of you? I think that's for dogs.

23andMe? Are they for dogs? No, I think there's something else. I think there is one for dogs. But no, I have done 23andMe. Oh, really? What'd you find out? I'm very Chinese.

Okay. Listen, it wasn't that exciting for me. You suspected. I suspected, confirmed. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I've done 23 and me. Oh, really? What'd you find out? I'm very Chinese. Okay. Congratulations on that. It wasn't that exciting for me. You suspected.

I suspected, confirmed. I didn't find... I was curious if there was another half sibling or a secret family that I didn't know about. Right. None of that. No. They're all third and a half cousins. Not even any Mongols or anything?

Mongols. Anything tangential, anything exciting. Are you talking about dogs again? Mongols? No, no, no. Talking about Mongols. No, Mongolian, but- I did, I actually, I did do a version of 23andMe and found out that I am half-pug.

Okay. The Mongols had a famous- That's why I have a squishy little face and it's hard for me to believe. A famous horde that swept through much of the world, including China. No, I do believe that most of us are descendants of Mongolia and Genghis Khan. And I feel like it's not confirmed, but if you have a certain birthmark,

it might mean you are descended from Genghis Khan. And I do have a birthmark. Whoa. It's not scientifically confirmed, but it is lower on the internet. It looks like someone slaughtering a baby, but then the time that has passed has softened the reference. Exactly.

It looks like a wound, but it just looks like a tattoo. Well maybe this points to secretly royal. Yes. Maybe. What if I'm secretly a Mongolian princess? Oh my gosh. I would love that. I have a question about 23andMe's. When you do the

test, again, I've only done it for my dog. 50% golden retriever, 50% super mutt. Is that a category? Super mutt? Yeah, super mutt. Super mutt. That's one of the variety of things. But it did say super mutt. That's fun. When you do it for a person, does it plug into like ancestry.com and all of a sudden you know who all your cousins are? In a way, yes. So depending on how big their database is, and depending on the permissions you set, you can see how you're connected DNA-wise to others. It's interesting they have a database.

Excuse me, I'm going somewhere with this. Interesting they have a database because if you wanted to find your father, it could be a Dada base. Thanks, Jordan. Do you guys do rim shots here? Oh, Stevens had been inserting them this whole time. There it is. The morning radio vibes.

All right, time for traffic in the weather. Jenny, this is hooga. Thank you. Yeah, baby. Jenny, this is probably somethingooga. Thank you. Yeah, baby. Jenny, this is probably something we should have covered beforehand. Peter Griffin. Yeah.

If you have a joke in mind, make sure you stop before you say it. Say, I'm gonna go somewhere with this. Follow my lead and watch for the changes. Two, three, four. Da-da-base. We're kind of a joke fake book here. Right. Yes. This is a comedy tutorial.

I do want to hear more about this supposed ass kicking that you received. Do you think Jesse is characterizing it wrong? Do you know what he's talking about? A hundred percent. And do you agree with him? It is factually accurate that you said that my ass was kicked. Can you describe it, what he's talking about? So I played an assassin named Xing on the Netflix series, The Brother Son.

Okay. And it's starring Michelle Yeoh. And now fast forward the next 10 seconds for spoilers. You're going somewhere with this. I am going somewhere with this. Two, three, four. I play an assassin, but a big turn is that I end up fighting Michelle Yeoh.

Whoa. And when you're first on the call sheet versus seventh on the call sheet, guess who wins? Michelle Yeoh. Yeah. She usually just throughout her career wins. I think I've seen her fight in a lot of things. I believe she stays winning.

Stays winning, yes. But you know, before I get choked to death by Michelle Yeoh, who would pay for that? 100% somebody's kink. I mean, I'm going to be honest with you, Jenny. It's not my kink, or at least it wasn't until just now. Listen, everyone take a moment to imagine it. How does it feel in your body? But yeah, I got a chance to do Ask a King three times before that. Oh my gosh.

During the course of the eight episode series. So you had a three in one record on the show? Yeah. Congratulations. That's pretty good. Thank you. Were those knockouts or decisions? Full knockouts.

Oh, just shredded, shredded. Was that your first time fighting on camera? It was. Wow. I mean, physically, let's be honest. Sure. There's emotional fighting. Of course, yes.

So many kinds of fighting. Of course, yes. So many kinds of fighting. I actually, you know, this is, listen, I hate to sound woo-woo, but right before I got booked for this job, I did say to myself, Jenny, you have achieved some of your goals in entertainment. What would you like to do next? And I truly did sit there and go, vision board, what do I want? What was I inspired by as a child? I freaking loved Hong Kong comedies, action comedies, kung fu, all of it. Wouldn't it be great if a mid-sized, round-faced Asian-American woman could be an action comedy

star? And so, I actually started low-key training. Oh my gosh. Okay. To do it before the pandemic and was like running, prepping for a half marathon. I like signed up for these like individual kickboxing classes. And then the pandemic happened. And then 20 pounds later, we got back into fitness in terms of gaining 20 pounds during the pandemic. And then I got booked for this role and they're

like, you're going to get paid to work out and and you're gonna get paid to train with people that, you know, trained John Wick and Creed. So enjoy. Wow. Did you imagine yourself doing the kind of Hong Kong action comedy where the action is funny? Yes. I wanted the action to be funny. It's, I mean, God, if you guys love that kind of stuff, you know how brilliant it can be

in terms of physical comedy, right? Of like little switcheroo's. It's a little broad. So, you know, I would imagine that we'd have to sort of channel that into an American sensibility and 2024 sensibility. But the show that I was on, The Brother Son, it was really an action comedy drama. So it was pretty grounded and the comedy was not as like, you know, silly as like a classic Hong Kong action comedy.

I loved it. Did you have to cross your eyes at any point? No, no, I didn't have to catch a fly with chopsticks. Listen, any ladder stuff, any towel stuff. You know, nothing that could be on Three Stooges. Okay. But I loved it because especially my character was very fierce, very like serious. I'm a professional assassin.

I'm probably the only female assassin in this like gang. And so as one does, you have to kind of extra prove yourself, you know? Do you have a signature weapon? My fists. Hell yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Wow. Yes, I believe you. Am I staring you too intensely right now. You're getting scared. Yeah I mean, I'm looking at your fists and they look very deadly So I will get to cease this line of questioning. I honestly like before You came in here before we hit the record. Yeah, I was like How come Jenny has that one plate full of glue and that one plate? Ground glass right right. Yes. And now I understand. There's a payoff.

There's a payoff to that. Yes, Chekhov's plate of glue and glass. I mean, talking tropes, right? We all know that one. Yes. We all know that one. I did grab a bottle. So whatever was accessible.

Oh, cool. Okay. I grab a bottle, I crush it in front of someone else on my way to then using it as a weapon to stab them. There's a really intense moment in the Michelle Yeoh fight where one of the two of you, it's I crush it in front of someone else on my way to then using it as a weapon to stab them. There's a really intense moment in the Michelle Yeoh fight where one of the two of you, it's a very dimly lit fight to watch on your phone, but one of the two of you reaches backward towards a steak knife, then accidentally knocks it into a sink just beyond their reach.

Yeah. Very intense. Listen, I get to choke her, she got to choke me. It was- Mutual choking. Awesome. What is the trope on that? We put it in the kink.

Yeah, add that to your trope list, Jessie. I have one teenager can overthrow the government. Is that good? Oh. Is that anything? Sure, yeah. It goes back to chosen one though. There you go.

It's also kind of a chosen one. Team Boy Next Door or Team Bad Boy McHunky? What? Team Bad Boy McHunky? Oh, I kind of wish I was in, like, a series where I could be around a team bad boy McHunky because I love coming of age high school college tropes. What would your role be?

Would you be like a wise teacher or... Love a wise teacher. You're a young adult, but you're an adult. Yeah, I love a fun mom who has a secret, you know? Ooh. Yeah, yeah. What's mom's secret? I don't know. Gills.

Oh dear. Mom's, I have a new Netflix show coming out, Mom's Got Gills. Yes, yeah, she breathes underwater. Alison Brie is good in everything. She's so good, she's so fun, yeah. She's amazing. Yeah, I'd love to be friends with Alison Brie as a fellow mom. That's so good. She's so fun. Yeah. She's amazing.

Yeah. I'd love to be friends with Alison Brie as a fellow mom. That would be fun. Yeah. You know where you got to go. South Pasadena. That's Alison Brie country. It is.

Oh, I do. I am familiar whenever a star drops a neighborhood reference, I do register it because I love knowing neighborhoods in LA because this is where I'm from. We had a little neighborhood talk before we turned on the mics. I love knowing where people like to go. I used to be an urban planner, honestly. I went to grad school for urban planning. Oh my gosh.

Really? Very little known fact. No one needs to discuss this in the context of entertainment. I would love to hear what the best planned urban space you've ever been in is. Oh, best planned urban space. That's tough. I think a lot of any sort of the traditional cities is amazing. Definitely, I love Taipei.

OK, good urban planning there. Because they did put in a subway that's very convenient. If New York would be so awesome if they just updated the subways, it's still so rickety sometimes. And you know what I mean? It's just pretty hot in there. And it's so warm. I would just love if that got updated.

I haven't been to Japan recently. Sometimes I wonder if when they built those subways in 1890 through 1910 or whatever it was, if there were fans at the time. I'm like, I feel like a few ducks could really do a lot for those New York subways. Just a little something to get the swamp out of the underground.

The circulation, the gutters are definitely dirty. But if it wasn't for all of that, perfect. Love New York. I mean, it's not as though a hole deep in the ground is automatically hot and moist. That's a cool place, hole in the ground. Sure. That's why my dog is always going in holes.

It depends on the terrain. You never know. How close are you to groundwater? Is there rocks and gravel? These are things an urban planner notices. These are things an urban planner notices. Jenny, I'm just excited to find out about your career in urban planning 15 or 20 minutes into our friendship. I found out my dad had a career in urban planning 15 or 20 minutes into our friendship,

I found out my dad had a career in urban planning when I was in my mid 30s. Wait, how? He just mentioned it one day. He's like, Oh, yeah, I found out about two different most of a master's degrees that my dad had one in Asian studies and one in urban planning. I don't know how he ever just he was just at UC Berkeley doing drugs and not graduating from things. And being a white guy into Asians? Is that what that was too? I think it was a response to his service experience. It was a yeah. But in the story that he told me that involved him getting into drug induced psychosis and being in the mental hospital jail for a long time. That one ended with his friend Rich getting him a job as an urban planner in Minneapolis.

And it being too cold to buy drugs. He told me he didn't know where to go to buy drugs and he didn't want to go outside. So he got a cleaner. Sure, well, that's a beautiful end to that story. Isn't that a beautiful- Thank you Minneapolis. How does that track with your experience

of having been planning? Well, I mean, I always get really jealous of friends who have like hippie parents who have those kinds of experiences because my parents are very Straight and narrow, you know, and I definitely did not have parents who told me about their buying drugs But I do love that as our player No, but I love that as our parents got old get older I don't know if your listeners have this experience, but as parents get older

They just like randomly drop weird traumatic stories or details about their life that they never would have said before. And then you're just like, wait, what? And they say it in a way where it's very in passing. And you're like, wait a minute, let's back up. And you're like, you know that you're dropping this on. You're not. Sure.

You're playing it off like you're not dropping it on us, but you're, it's like the time my mom said that she told the jury selection pool, convicted of a felony or arrested for a felony. I was like, that's a good drop. Yeah, just drop that in there. When I was like 16 or 17, my dad mentioned his first wife. What?

That's a good one. I was like, I'm sorry, excuse me? Because you have so many stories, so many secrets, family secrets. I know, my family was up to a lot of shit before they met me. Yeah, you would think on all the family trips that we took, when it was just we're all driving out to the Hoover Dam or whatever, they would have needed some stuff and just mentioned the times they were arrested.

Yeah, I don't have anything like this to offer my children. Like my children aren't going to be like 16 and they're going to be like, wait a minute, dad, in college you were in an improv group? What? My entire opinion of you just flipped. My dad? Once they get older, you don't know what the cultural context will be or an opinion of improv. That's true. It could be a shameful secret.

I mean, I might argue it's currently a shameful secret. Maybe one day my children will be 17 years old or 22. They'll be there with their first serious romantic partner at Thanksgiving. And they're going to be like, dad, you voted for Bill Bradley? Bill Bradley dad, you voted for Bill Bradley. Bill Bradley. I did vote for Bill Bradley.

Oh, that's right. I remember when he ran. Yeah, he seemed like a good man. That's why I voted for him. I love that. I love that. And then they'll be like, um, ew, I don't know.

They're like, ew, we vote for Tulsi Gabbard now. Yeah, we don't know how things are going to change. Listen, culture, it's going to get messed up. Yeah, my president is a vape. I mean, that's where we're going. Right, inanimate objects are going to just run for office now? Sure. President vape and vice president app, right?

I think vapes might be back out. I think- Yeah, where are we at on vapes? Okay. I feel like I've- Yeah, where are we at on vapes? I feel like I've- Yeah, what do the kids do? I'll just, something I've noticed, as a man who very rarely goes into a cool space.

I think I have noticed casual vaping more like this year than I have, since the height of vape. I have been noticing people pulling out of vape when I hadn't before. get they're like kind of fat Now, you know, I noticed those fatties. Yeah, and the clouds they blow her fat Anyway, just my observation. I don't know if that means this is what I think this is what I think tell us and Jenny I don't want you to feel indicted as someone who's wearing either no socks or no-show socks.

Right. But I think that young people had taken up vapes in opposition to our generation smoking cigarettes. And to us thinking vapes were uncool because of the shit dads that used vapes 10 years ago. Okay. So I think young people had done that. It just as they had taken up wearing tall socks when they, so that they could show off their fucking tube socks from the swap meet. And everybody wants to look at that.

And so like, I think that was the first gen. That's your, that's maybe your older gen Z, maybe the youngest of the millennials, they were vaping in high school, just getting really dizzy on those fucking peppermint clouds or whatever. I think the generation below that, I think today's teens and young adults are into cigarettes. Ooh.

Yeah, I feel like you're onto something because I feel like those younger Gen Alpha folks, they are more into analog life again, right? They're shooting horse. What, shooting? They're reading the newspaper. horse. What? Shooting? Reading the newspaper. Yeah. I don't mean like- Doing the crossword, doing heroin. Not, you know, not, and no carriages. You know, I'm talking about more like flip phones or- Yeah. Right? Like logging off, IRL. I feel like that's-

Film photography. Yes. So I feel like that's, but I like that. I encourage that. I feel like I love that I'm old enough to have, you know, come back around to be like, yeah, all right, kids be into the stuff that I used to be into. I'll tell you one thing they're really into. Fucking Joe camel t-shirts. Oh yeah. Are those like coveted? Out of those fucking Joe camel t-shirts. They're converting all their Bitcoin into camel bucks just reminds me how president app it just reminds me how bad my dad smelled before 1993

that's all it makes me think well hey do you want to remember what our dad smelled like for a minute take a break and come back for some more we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Goh. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Jordan, this show exists because of the members of Maximum Fund, and we thank them. We do. Everybody who's gone to MaximumFun.org slash join.

And hopefully, Jordan, everyone who has enjoyed Gracie's Game Gauntlet, our brand new show, recapping some of the worst video games chosen for us to play by my 13-year-old, who has nothing but contempt for us. The games are bad. The show is fun. Yeah, it's a good show. A lot of comments on the Reddit lately about how Grace is better at podcasting than we are because she keeps

us on track during our introductions. Yeah, she really, she's her stern task master. Of course. Won't allow us to fuck around. Just wants to make sure we get that clean intro talking about, in this case, Cool World for any of us. Yes, the video game adaptation of Cool World. We're also supported this week by the folks over there at Stitch Fix. Shopping can be hard. Stitch Fix online, personal styling makes it easy. Hey, Jesse, can I tell you about a great experience

I had with Stitch Fix recently? I would love that. Something I love about Stitch Fix is that you can get real specific with that personal stylist. Like, if you need something hyper specific, if you're like, I need something I can wear to a job, but then out later to a bar.

They'll get you something. And I gotta be able to swim in it. And I have to be able to swim and go up a mountain. I'm having a big Sunday. You're like, okay, the Joker is gonna be at an art reception. So I need something I can go through a skylight in. But I like to challenge them with specific needs.

So we live in LA. I just resigned myself, hey, it's gonna be hot through October, get some more shorts. But I've been feeling like my shorts, maybe they're a little long, I could go a little shorter. Oh yeah. So I said- What do you mean you're a zaddy? Well, thank you, nice of you to say.

I wouldn't call myself daddy, but many do. So I said to my personal stylist, I need some shorts, but I'd like them to be on the shorter side. The shorts I got, they fit perfectly, showed off a nice amount of leg. I got great- And just enough head. And just, yeah.

Just a little peek. A little peek at the general. It looks like the car insurance mascot. Anyway, Stitch Fix is awesome. I got a great box last time. Not only were those shorts awesome, but I got a couple of cool fun pattern button-ups. Everything fit awesome. Love to challenge that stylist with a very specific request. We'll make style easy. Get started today at StitchFix.com slash JJ Go. That's StitchFix.com slash JJ Go. And this week

Jordan, I am on the road with John Hodgman and the Judge John Hodgman Road Court Tour. I hope I will see everybody September 13th in Philadelphia, September 14th in Washington, DC, and September 15th in the great city of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. That's the Three Rivers City, Jordan. Beautiful, love those rivers. We're also right around the corner gonna be in Ann Arbor,

Madison, and St. Paul. Go to maximumfund.org slash events to get your tickets. Maximumfund.org slash events. And I'm gonna be at the Baltimore Comic-Con September 20th through the 22nd. So come find me out there at Baltimore Comic Con. I'll be in Artist Alley, signing books, selling books, taking pics, asking you where I should eat in Baltimore.

Come find me. Let's get back Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. And I'm Jenny Yang, loveseat. Oh, that's a two-seater, Jenny. Couch. This is not a JD Vance reference.

It's truly just- Let's not date this. Let's not date this. Hillbilly loves you. I just repeated Jesse's suggestion. You were a little worried about the nickname thing. Yeah. Listen, we're all out here trying to improvise our comedy, but I truly... And trying to beat Matt Lieb. I guess they... And trying to beat Matt Lieb. Maybe I

should have been Jenny Yang, Matt Leib, one upper. That's good too. Stephen, do we have an update by the way on the race between Jenny and Matt Leib? I believe so far, it's close. It's really close. Wow. How dramatic. It's close. You believe it's close? I mean, it works for me. Wow. Oh my gosh. Jordan mean it works for me. Wow! Jordan, it works for me too.

Yeah, this is fun. I didn't do shit. That makes me feel good. Yeah. Stephen, one more question. Is the clock ticking? You can't hear it in there? So it is clicking. A ticking clock?

Save the cat! There's another trope, thank you. We need to keep a tally of this. Star-crossed love! Grounded conflict? Okay, Jenny, I have an important question for you, which is we're across the street from a comedy theater called Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. Wonderful comedy theater. I took my children there.

They got mad at me. Why? Because there's a slideshow before the show, and every person I saw that I knew, I said, hey, I know him. Yeah. Yeah. To me, it's exciting. Sure. To them, total bullshit.

Yep. Jenny, you did like a wellness-themed show there, like a self-help, wellness, self, self-care themed show there. Do you have, and I'm asking you this as a person with a who I can see has a very carefully constructed color palette, do you have a wellness routine for yourself? Are there things that you do for yourself? Ice tub. Talking about ice tubs here. Oh that's the very trendy thing. Yes. Little cold plunge. No, no, no. I do have a self-care routine, but it shifts depending on the phase of life I'm in,

depending on whether or not I'm actually taking care of myself. So that's honest. Okay. I'm not going to be out here like, this is my morning routine. It goes from vape to cigarette back to vape. You're like, it's 10 a.m. I'm done. Yeah. Every smoker sounds like that, right? Yeah. Oh mama, mama, it's 10 a.m. They hate it. I've been doing clean mornings,

that's where you only vape until 10 a.m. Yes, yes. Vaping and journaling, vaping and journaling. Cigars from then on, yeah. I mostly have a, I like to call I'm in my soft girl era. Okay. Because it involves a lot of crying to get it out of the way in the morning.

Oh. And feeling my emotions, journaling, walks, getting sun on our eyeballs, that's a big thing. Sun on the eyeballs? Yeah, just really. Looking right into it. Just looking right into the sun. As I was saying, I'm coming for you motherfucker

Threaten the Sun. That's right. You feel powerful when you do that. I feel like success is burning I can see success when I close my eyes No, I Actually canceled my two my two-year monthly residency at dynasty typewriter for my show, Self Help Me, colon, a competitive self-care comedy show, because I was burnt out. Frankly, I'm on the upswing of a burnout transition phase. Okay. So I'm kind of rebuilding my self-care habits

and just trying to be intentional about it. Ooh, what about, can I make a suggestion? Yeah. Those little fish that eat your feet? Oh, sure, yeah, yeah. I've heard about those. Have you fish that eat your feet? Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. I've heard about those. Have you done that in China?

No, I haven't done that anywhere, but I'm suggesting it for you. You can do it in China if you'd like. I was thinking Los Angeles. There are places where the Chinese do have fish that will eat your feet. Yeah. No, I have other pedicure kind of, you know, feet care solutions that we can discuss offline. Feet care or self care? It is. It is. Actually, our feet are very important.

As Brian Wilson once sang, take care of your feet. Sure, yes. You know, I grew up with Chinese medicine just as a part of my culture, but like never really thinking about it actively. So it wasn't until I did the Self Help Me Show, Making Fun of Wellness Trends, which truly it's because I'm a Chinese, Taiwanese, American woman who grew up around a lot of the wellness trends that my grandmother did, but now,

skinny white ladies who are very pretty sell the same things back to me at like five times the markup. I did that show so that I could talk about that, you know. But through the show, I actually became much more educated about like, you know, Chinese medicine, Western versus Western wellness and Eastern wellness. So yeah, I've actually gotten into more like acupuncture, you know, sun on the eyes. I have some very strong memories of when I did acupuncture and ate a lot of Chinese herbs

for my migraines as a child. Who did that for you? Your parents? No, they're my acupuncturist parents. No. No, listen, I don't know how hippie your parents are. They took me to an acupuncturist. My parents.

I mean, there's only so many migraine treatments when you're a kid. Yeah. And the main thing I remember is just some of the most foul tasting burps in the world. Thank you. Just I would burp and, cause he would encapsulate the awful herbs into capsules for me.

They were purple and black, which seemed unserious. Right. Like if Prince was your pharmacist. But I would take the pills, as I was supposed to, and it would be fine, because they're encapsulated. But then when they were loosed upon my stomach, when such time as a burp would emerge, it would fill my mouth with nightmare herb.

Yeah. Now, did it fix your migraine? No, not at all. See, now it would have been worth it if it did. Yeah. Now, did it fix her migraine? No, not at all. See, now it would have been worth it if it did. Yeah, absolutely. No, I would, you wouldn't have believed the burps I would tolerate if it fixed my migraine. Well, just imagine that, but you know,

me as a three-year-old in Taiwan and my grandmother, who was essentially a local medicine woman in the village, like me being like, I have a tummy ache, which many children do, and her being like, please drink this root soup that just looks like dirt, right? And force feeding it with a bowl, with like a rice bowl into my mouth. So I had to taste it as it went down.

I didn't have a fancy ass glycerin fucking capsule. Thank you. To be fair, when I had a sick tummy, when I was a little kid, my mom would also make me drink root soup, but it was called Dr. Pepper. Oh, listen, I do appreciate a good sarsaparilla. I also appreciate that your parents are such hippies that they got you into Chinese medicine. I want to be clear that my parents are not hippies.

Really? No, they're bohemians. Thank you very much. Wow. Is hippie a derogatory term in your culture? Yes. We went to UC Santa Cruz. Well, hey, it's a momentous occasion

when your parents give you Dr. Pepper to cure ailments. It's also a momentous occasion when you call our show to talk about your momentous occasion, which this person did. Dear Jordan, Jesse, Matt, and Chris Fairbanks, because you'll see. Close. I fell behind on my podcast, so I've been binging them recently, and I'm currently in the middle of the March 18, 2024 episode with Chris Fairbanks. Jesse, you said 50% of your audience was graphic

designers, and the other 50% are librarians, and Chris interjected 100% suspenders. I'm sitting here at my dinner table. I'm a librarian and I'm making a pair of suspenders. Oh my God. I love y'all, but what the fuck? I'm just ifing my ife. He's not here ifing his ife. Yeah, being someone in 2024 who wears suspenders

is a choice. Can I say? But being someone who makes your own suspenders, wow. That's so impressive. Our listeners are very committed to being our listeners and I love that for them. Jordan, I pickle my own suspenders. Right, so you put them up for the winter. So you have winter suspenders.

They're so plentiful in the summer months. Right, yes. I love that your listener was like, drag me. Oh my God. I love that your listener was like, drag me. Oh my God. They love it. No, I think I like thinking about my audience as well as a type. Oh yeah. Could you break it down into percentages?

Yeah, I do think that a majority of my followers tend to be women of color with bangs or colored hair. Okay. And then highly educated, oftentimes graphic designers, professors, you know what I mean? You see bangs as a central part of this. It is. I feel like as a banged American, hashtag Jenny Yang bangs with a Z,

I do know that it's a controversial move for hair styles. People always use it as a punchline, like, oh, just again, going through a breakup, keep the scissors away from me. I might give myself bangs, you know, it's a whole thing. But for me, I embrace it without irony. It is a part of my face. It is a part of my look. Trim your own bangs

I do you have to once you're a banged American you have to develop your own skills Otherwise, what are you what am I made of money? You know, I mean like do I go every time to get a eighth of an inch trim I recently learned from look we've talked a lot about the time that I've been spending on our Ask Los Angeles here on Reddit, but somebody posted like, how much do you pay for your haircuts? My breath was taken away. Cause I, first of all, I've, since I decided to go all one length, which is almost none,

I purchased my own clippers. It started at the beginning of the pandemic. I had been going to get haircuts at the barber and I went to a barber where everyone was confused that I was in there, because I was white, and where the haircuts cost 12 to $14. And, you know, I give somebody 20 bucks because, you know, 20 bucks, 20 bucks worth of time, right? But like, you know, when your hair's this short, you got to go every two weeks or so. So I got clippers at the pandemic. And I'm like, you know, when your hair's this short, you got to go every two weeks or so. So I got clippers at the pandemic and I'm like, you know what, I'm going to give up

having a haircut. No more fade for me. Just all going to be very short, right? So to me, haircuts are free. However, I learned that there's people out here spending five, $600 on their haircuts going there. It's like a fucking weekend retreat. Yeah.

Listen, this is a podcast, so you can't see that I am a natural Asian blonde. I think everyone needs to understand that that is a very high maintenance lifestyle. I am actually currently progressing to transition back into my brunette hair. Oh, really? I have to because in this economy, what are we doing? You know what I mean? But I maintain it for really? I have to because in this economy, what are we doing? But I maintain it for half a year. Fancy, in this economy? Fancy will be forever, but this blonde has to go.

Listen, I've enjoyed it. I have coordinated my outfit. I was about to say you're going to have to get a new skirt. To be blonde. My whole body is blonde essentially right now. Not my body hair, but my actual clothing. It's like a champagne. It's a champagne, thank you.

You got champagne love. Like a, like a, like a, like a Subaru from the early 1990s. Maybe an Infiniti. I love though that you educated yourself about the kind of actual cost that some people do have to, you know, do for upkeep. Coloring seems to be a big part of it, but it didn't explain the whole thing. I feel like people are still into the hundreds leaving aside the coloring. People will pay a lot of money to make sure that their self-image is taken care of.

You know what I'm saying? You will cry and feel traumatized if your hair is not done the right way. And so I feel like certain people are willing to pay for that premium if they feel like they can trust you. Yeah. You know what I would pay that my kind of money for? A fog-free mirror that stays fog-free. Just because sometimes I get, there's like a little part that I miss.

You miss the part. Yeah. I wonder how much our listeners would save if they all started making their own suspenders I love that your classic target audience makes their own says who makes their own Fucking legend that's who people whose pants are falling down Who don't have access to your first world suspender March? And people who are getting bullied by ogre and moose. I feel like it's a lot of crafters, a lot of thrifters

maybe in your audience. And I love that for you. I feel like we have some- Oh sure, it's a great audience. We have some overlap. We have some overlap. We have some overlap. I think we have got some bangs out there.

We got some banged Americans. Banged Americans or some kind of colored hair or highlight. Oh sure. You know like a purple, a blue. A lot of purple hair or some kind of colored hair or highlight. Oh, sure. You know, like a purple, a blue. A lot of purple hair, a lot of blue hair, I would imagine. They love coming to my stand-up comedy shows. Sure.

Laughing their asses off. Let me ask you this question. My wife often has bangs. And so do a lot of other members of her family. My wife comes from a big, beautiful family of beautiful people. Yeah. They have very capacious foreheads.

Oh, yes. They love a bang to define the facial area. Yeah. Now, I'm not here to brag, but I have an even more capacious forehead. Listen. This thing goes halfway up my head. Yeah.

So should I be wearing bangs? You could. Like you would just glue on a set of bangs? How does this happen? I think they would start higher. Okay. But I think we could build a- We could droop them down there.

Look, have you seen the former president of the United States hair? Things can be done. That's true. Assemblies can be constructed. Did you ever go through an emo phase? I feel like if you just want bangs for a recreation of your emo phase, you could do that.

Be beautiful. I'd love to have an emo phase. Never too late. I was too busy jumping up and down at rap concerts. Oh, so you were more the rap versus like a good Charlotte. No, never a good Charlotte. I was hieroglyphics all the way. Wow. The area.

Yeah. The area. So, but I think, I think that I could be ready for my emo phase now. I could be, right now I could just go down to the record store, buy some Promise Ring albums and start crying. It's, it memos back, right? It's having a, like a nostalgic retro, remember this kind of moment? Yeah, I would say so. I feel like if you've listened to Olivia Rodrigo's recent music,

they're all referencing- Oh, yes, sure. The younger artists are, sure. Yeah, they're all referencing that kind of early aughts, right? People like a lot of, people are really into the Paramore, the radio like lady new metal, whatever that category is. I don't know. I think of it only culturally as like, it's the lady version of what the new metal dudes were into. Yeah, I'm not good at it.

It's different. It's not like a bunch of yelling and stuff. It's a lot of really intense yelling. Virtuosic singing. Belting, yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm not really that good at music subgenres, but I feel like that's a good way to describe it. Were you ever an emo teen?

Never. What kind of teen were you? Hip hop. I was into hip hop, yeah. So I used to really like Nas. Never heard of him. Never. Didn't grow up in the Queens Bridge projects, but somehow I was in the mean streets of Torrance,

identifying with rap artists. Yeah, that was my thing. You were peeping things out your project windows, right? I lived in a very modest ranch house. As an Asian American, our way of expressing our emo-ness was to be like, what dominant popular culture can we relate to most? And I think, I don't think it's anymore,

but I think if you're of a certain age, it used to be a case where you kind of had to choose like rock versus rap. If you remember that, like there was a little bit of a- Until Limp Bizkit solved it by bringing them together perfectly. Right. Other sort of like rap kind of hybrid songs. I think this is a common observation, but I think our generation, we were encouraged to shunt ourselves off into a little subgenre a little more than maybe a modern kid is.

They get to embrace everything. Yeah, you're a little more encouraged to be eclectic, I think. Which is wonderful. Jordan was into clogging. I was into clogging. Wow, that is very sub-sub. I was into clogging. Wow, that is very I was I was clogged core You clog yourself. I did. Yeah, I would I would clog dance. I'm clogged

Yeah, cuz I didn't have it a fiber I'm going somewhere with Toilet sure yes, that was clogged after I got unclogged and yeah, there you go Rogan but no, but pretty popular Popular it's smoke. It's in the same language Are we in the same area as like a Joe Rogan? Or how about that guy from Two and a Half Men or whatever that has a podcast with maybe Jason Bateman?

I don't know. I think we're like above Bill Nye but below Joe Rogan. Yes! Take that, guy! Yes! fuck you! By the way, talk about discovering my kink. Oh! Bill Nye?

You wanna be between the two? Above Bill Nye, below Joe Rogan. Hell yeah. Thank you very much. What? We found it, we found it. Sure, and they're just yelling at each other over you. Bill Nye is trying to be rational.

Joe Rogan is talking about, you know, whatever. He's like, no, bison meat. You don't have to drink your own gizz to feel manlier, says Bill Nye. Sure. I had to get him a gizz record. Trash is a vaccine. Trash is a vaccine.

What are you talking about? Yes. Bison meat. Bison meat. Bison meat. Yeah. Man, you know who I bet makes his own suspenders? Fucking Bill Nye. Yes. No way know who I bet makes his own suspenders? Fucking Bill Nye.

No way Nye doesn't make his own suspenders. One time I was listening to LAist KPCCFM here in Los Angeles. Pre-radar station. They were doing a story about the Pasadena Swing Dancing Club. Oh, sure, yeah. I was enjoying this story about the Pasadena Swing Dancing Club. Then they said, long time member Bill Nye says that blah, blah, blah. They just dropped in Bill Nye as though he longtime member Bill Nye says that blah, blah, blah. What?

He just dropped in Bill Nye as though he wasn't Bill Nye. He's a longtime member? They just had a conversation with a reporter and editor. Should we mention up top that Bill Nye's coming up or should we just drop it on people? Lead with it. Yeah. Just like your parents dropping a time they've been in jail. Yeah.

I've Lindy hopped with Bill Nye. Sure. Whoa. Who've Lindy hopped with Bill Nye. Sure. Whoa! Who are you, Dad? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessico. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. One thing we all have in common, we all have a mind. It makes me so scared because I'm like,

when is the bad thing going to happen? And minds can be kind of unpredictable and eccentric. Everybody wants to hear that they're not alone. Everybody wants to hear that someone else has those same thoughts. Depression Mode with John Moe is about how interesting minds intersect with the lives and work of the people who have them. Comedians, authors, experts, all sorts of folks trying to make sense of their world.

It's not admitting something bad if you say, this is scary. Depression Mode with John Moe, every Monday at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts is a real podcast made up of fake podcasts like If you had a cupboard in your lower back what would you keep in it? So I'm gonna say mugs. A little yogurt and a spoon. A small handkerchief that was given to me by my grandmother on her deathbed. Maybe some spare honey.

I'd keep batteries in it. I'd pretend to be a toy. If I had a cupboard in my lower back I'd probably fill it with spines. If you had a cupboard in your lower back what would you keep in it. I'd pretend to be a toy. If I had a cupboard in my lower back, I'd probably fill it with spines. If you had a cupboard in your lower back, what would you keep in it doesn't exist. We made it up for Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts, an award winning comedy podcast from Maximum Fun made up of hundreds of stupid podcasts. Listen and subscribe to Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts now. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Jenny Yang, Matt Lieb, one-upper. Matt Lieb, a great guy. I consider him a friend. He was, until Jenny fucking destroyed him. That's kind of where I was going with this, is that yeah, it's that he's been bested handily and embarrassingly. Thank you.

And I would not want to be him right now. Although, maybe he discovered his kink today. Sure. Having someone do better than you on a podcast. Matt was great on this show. We love him. He was the producer for a while. He's wonderful.

I worked with him on three with ads. He's wonderful. Best friends in college. Best friends in college. I know. I was so jealous. That's why I was like, I must beat him. Yeah, beat it.

You fucking slayed him. Oh, thank you. Well, should we check in with Steven on this? Oh yeah, sure, Steven. Yeah, you probably have the actual numbers there. We're just kind of like guessing. Let's go to the- It's close, but-

Wait, hold on, Steven. First question. Would you say it's close? It's close. Wait, can we go to the electoral map? We had to actually, we had to do the numbers. I got some guys were crunching it, but I believe Jenny won by a landslide.

Whoa! Wow! Now that is rare, Jenny. That is rare. Not just for a guest to come in here and best Matt Lieb, but for a guest to win a close race by a landslide. That's probably one of the rarest victories. Well, she took Arizona. Yeah, she even got Arizona. She even took Arizona. Well, Jenny Yang, you're headed to New York City soon in September. Yes.

18th through the 24th, I'll be there doing shows, performing stand-up at a gala for Welcome to Chinatown, which is a new space that has formed in Chinatown in Manhattan. And I'm just out here, I don't know, trying to live my best soft girl life. I believe in you, Jenny. I think you can be soft. And you know what? Look around the corner because you know who I see coming? Gala Jenny.

A Gala Jenny. Yeah. I love Gala. I see Jenny in gowns. Oh my God. Descending a staircase perhaps? Perhaps having secret royal blood. Ooh.

And I want to be clear. When I say I see Jenny in gowns, when I say I see an impossibly glamorous, even more impossibly glamorous than the one who sits before me now. Pretty glamorous. I'm curtsy. We already described this infinity colored champagne sat in the skirt we're seeing here. I want to be clear that this is not something you're doing out of self-interest. This is a byproduct of your interest in doing good for others.

That's what Gallageni is all about. Oh, you're right. Doing good for others, be it Welcome to Chinatown, a new event space. Yeah. That's also a mutual aid kind of organization that supported elderly and small businesses in Chinatown during the pandemic. Be it the United Way. I don't know what the United Way is. Okay, never donated to them.

Are they one of those secret evil charities? We don't know. Don't tell me how they feel about trans people. Oh, no. No, I'm not doing a gala for her. You're doing a lot of charity work for JK Rowling. Oh, my God, wait. This is going to be taken out of context. No, I'm not doing a gala for you're doing a lot of charity work for JK Rowling. Oh my god This is gonna be taken out of context. I'm not doing anything for JK Rowling. You're what they call the chosen one

What about in public in New York City September 18th through 24th, I'm probably gonna line up some shows listen Like I said just comics in the packing district. I think as my new therapist has said, I am, I'm very good at being an emotional container. And so now since I got sort of overwhelmed and burnt out, I've been starting to get rid of stuff from my container. So I opened everything up. I'm like, I don't want any obligations. Do you understand what I'm saying? You tapped the vessel. Yes. Yes. Yes.

And it's pouring out like fruit punch at a children's birthday party. Yeah. I came out the womb with a briefcase. And I'm trying to undo what my inner child has been hurt. You're letting it lose like Jamaica at a taqueria. Yes. Love that.

Just pull the little and out it comes from that transparent plastic barrel. That's right. So there I am. I've been leaving it open. So I'm going to be making more sort of online stuff, maybe podcasting you guys. Hashtag content?

Who doesn't? Content. Hashtag content. Yeah, more about self-help me, more about self-care. I've been kind of going through fertility stuff and gonna talk about that more. Food, love food. Gonna talk about food. Sure, food.

I hate the stuff. The three F's, food, fertility, and fun. Don't joke about that. There are people who do not like food. I'm not surprised because I have three neurodivergent children whose food needs vary so wildly that I the people who are like, you know, there's people who are like, I would rather just pour Soylent down my gullet and then get all the nutrients I need. I now understand them.

Before it was a total source of total bafflement. But between my children and then learning about Elliot Kalin, our friend Elliot Kalin's contempt for fruit. Yeah. Oh, not a fruit guy, huh? Not just not a fruit guy. Elliot fucking hates fruit. Wow.

He has told me three different, God bless Elliot, one of my favorite guys in the world, one of my best pals, three different times he has told me the story of when he got a chocolate sundae at Yankee Stadium, because his grandma got special tickets to a club in Yankee Stadium. I believe it was his grandma. Three different times he told me the story of this chocolate sundae and how they put a cherry on it, and he didn't like the cherry. He was so mad because he had specifically asked not to have the cherry. What fruit hurt him?

I know. No way to know. Probably a cantaloupe, right? I mean, sorry, maybe that's not PC to say okay. I'm getting a phone call. It's the PC police. Oh, they say I can't just assume that cantaloupes are criminals.

Sorry. He's not assuming. Jenny, just to explain, he's not assuming cantaloupes are criminals? Sorry. He's not assuming, Jenny, just to explain, he's not assuming cantaloupes are criminals. He just finds a pretext to search them. And if they have anything illegal on them, he arrests them. Wow, yeah, totally justified. Of course, yeah. Yeah.

They just love safety. Steven Ray Morris is the producer of Jordan, Jesse Goh, our producer emeritus, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, our thanks to The Free Design and to their record label, Light in the Attic Records, wonderful record label that you should look. There's no duds on Light in the Attic Records.

We're very grateful to them for letting us use that music all these years. You can find us on Instagram at jordandavidmorris, at jessithorn, very famous, and at jordanjessigopod. Jordanjessigopod. Yeah, give us a follow on Instagram. Our wonderful producer, Stephen Ray Morris, has been running that thing and putting up some really fun

posts and content. So make sure you're giving us a follow. It's fun over there. Stephen, any dank memes this week You know what? That's actually a reminder for me to post a dank meme today. So thank you You're welcome. Maybe just it's just like fucking Drake what he's saying full chorder. Oh, yeah Fucking some shit from, I don't know, I couldn't tell you. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Kamala and she's holding up the record cover and then it says, full chore down there.

Sure. Or it just says Wario saw something like that. Yeah. Who knows? That would work. Yeah, probably. That would all work great. I mean, this is a podcast.

Wario is Brad. I don't know. Or maybe Wario is Brad. Steven, can I check in with you? Something unreal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. is this one a podcast? Jury still out We'll see what the audience says, you know what I predict it's gonna be a landslide

Very close landslide. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan and Jessi Go!