Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Summer Boi Mushroom Frolicking, with Negin Farsad

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

This week we welcome comedian and host of Fake the Nation Negin Farsad to the podcast to talk about music festivals, Post Malone's hardness, and Summer Boi mushroom frolicking. Give us 5 stars and a review on the Apple Podcast Store!Join Maximumfun.org/join and listen to JJGo's new bonus episode of Gracie's Game Gauntlet where they talk about the video game Shaq Fu and the movie Kazaam.Want to purchase Jordan's new graphic novel Youth Group but need to be convinced first? Not to worry! You can get a preview of some pages of Youth Group at News-a-rama here!Please visit Negin's website to find out more details about Negin's upcoming Comedy Saves Democracy Tour.Get your Father's Day shopping done right now by visiting Jesse's shop Put This On and use promo code JJGODad for 10% off.

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective, kicking off the summer boy season. Oh man, you know, I was doing a summer boy activity this morning. Let's hear it buddy.

What were you doing? Self-serve car wash, baby. You got a credit card swiper now, so I don't even need to have 40 quarters. Just give it one swipe and then all of a sudden I black out and when I wake up, I've got my spot-free rinse going. Wow. So you go into a kind of a car wash fugue state. They call it the zone, is what they call it. You get your 10,000 hours, you go into the zone,

and then you're the black sheep. Wow, so when you're doing your car wash, do you ever put them on the glass? Yeah, so that's all I do, Jordan. The whole time, I'm, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink. And by um, I mean, these are your testicles, right? Yeah, my testes, sure. They're a very permissive car wash.

Yeah, well, I mean, I get a lot of area because the more I do it, the more swollen they become. Wow, that's a great hack. Yeah, life hack, Hashtag life hack. Sure. Put them on the glass. They'll grow swollen. You'll get more surface area.

More surface area. Yeah. What's going on with you, Summerboy-wise? Yeah, I have some Summerboy plans. One of them is kind of, I'm a little bit embarrassed about, and I kind of just wanted to unpack it here. I have some outdoor music festivals planned. Love and Outdoor Music Festival. So these are outdoor music festivals that you're putting together in your backyard?

Yes, yeah. They're in Altadena. Yeah, they'll have to be very quiet. I have not cleared them with the neighbors. But yeah, so the first one I'm going to, this is not embarrassing. Jesse, I think you'd like this lineup. This is the, have you heard of the Fool in Love Festival?

Is this like a lowrider oldies thing? Kind of, sorta. It's a lot of like, it's a lot of like soul and R&B oldies. You got a Diana Ross, you got a Lionel Richie, you got an Al Green, Smokey Robinson, a great Lionel, George Clinton. This is- This is an all 83 year old lineup. Yeah, totally.

This is in, I think we've talked about this on the show, but like, just if the legend comes through town, see the legend, because you don't know. You don't know how long the legend's gonna be around. And this, I can- I'll tell you this. Yeah. Once my wife and I This is now 20 years ago, but once my wife and I went to see Al Green. Yeah

Isaac Hayes opened the late Isaac Hayes legendary Isaac Hayes Al Green could not have been more fantastic. Yeah Al Green women were swooning He was passing out roses. His voice was strong. The performance was spectacular. Isaac Hayes could not have been more embarrassing. The theme from Shaft is a wonderful record. Isaac Hayes wrote many of the greatest R&B hits of the 60s and had some of his own great hits in the 70s, including

the theme from Shaft. Theme from Shaft really lives on that edge between greatest song ever and most embarrassing thing ever. And he really tipped onto the embarrassing thing side by performing a medley of his songs from South Park. Like if you put that in the middle of the show, there's no coming back from it. There's no, doesn't matter. How do you follow Suck on My Chocolate Salty Balls?

Sure. Yeah, once you hear that donk, donk, donk, of the Shaft theme, if you've already heard the Sweaty Chocolate Balls earlier, you're like, oh no, quit the business, Scientologist. And probably like not all his fault. I mean, the theme from Shaft has been used as an ironic needle drop 10,000 times.

Anyway, I am excited about this, no embarrassment here. I'm going to one this weekend that I am excited about, but I wish they would change their branding. This is a punk rock music festival, the name of which is No Values. Their branding is all middle fingers, and I got an email from them, like the it's coming up email, and it says, our celebration of insubordination is closing in. And I just wanna be like, fuck, don't, don't, just don't, don't, don't do it like this, don't pretend it's some fuck you to the man, it's in the Pomona Fairgrounds, like,

I'm sure it's sponsored by Tito's Vodka, can we not do the fuck you system stuff with this? We can have, I want to, I'm excited, but do we have to do this? I'm going to the, this summer, to the Walmart Great Value brand festival. Nice. So you can get some face wash that's comparable to Cetaphil. Compared to Cetaphil. Compared to No Values Festival. It's like No Values.

Yeah, it's like No Values. Who's performing at the No Values Festival? Oh, the lineup at this thing, Jesse. You gotta, listen, you gotta fishbone, you gotta misfits with dancing, you gotta niggie pop. One of the black flags? There are three or four black flags. It's one of them.

Yeah, it's going to be a great time. Look, at the end of the day, Jordan, it doesn't really matter which black flag you see as long as they close by smashing those watermelons. Exactly. And yeah, and then play Suck on My Chocolate Salty Balls. Yeah, exactly. That's what you need to see. Well, I'm interested to know whether our guest this week has any Summerboy experiences, because I have a feeling the answer is yes. She is of course a stand-up comedian and writer, the host of the podcast, Fake the Nation. She is a regular on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me,

with our friend Peter Segel, Nagin Farsad. Hi, Nagin. How are you? Hi guys. My God, you know, Jordan's list of summer festivals are like the who's who of things I would never go see. I say that with love. you know what I mean? This, you know, we're all different onions and you peel us and we all offer different things. Did that work as a metaphor?

Anyway, it doesn't matter. Point is. I'm a sweet Maui onion. I know, it'd be better if like onion, if there was like more varietals. It's not like people go around knowing their vedalias from their whatever. It's not like that kind of vegetable. I took a quiz in cosmopolitan to find out which I was. And I'm a shallot who hasn't gotten into a new band since 1999.

I think that's what well you know and I wonder if you have any, do you feel like there are bands you wish you could get into, but you just can't figure out how to get into them, like learn about them? There are contemporary rappers that I struggle with. It's not that I think they're bad. I just don't understand what the values are that make it good. Does that make sense? Like there are plenty of new rappers

where it makes sense to me. We've talked a lot about Larry June on this program. He's one of my faves. He's only been out for five or 10 years, but like I was watching a video by Sada Baby, who's a very popular contemporary rapper. And it's not, again, I can watch it. Uh, it was a very popular contemporary rapper. And I, it's not, again, I can watch it.

Like, I'm like, huh, but I don't necessarily understand what makes it good. On a, on a super mainstream note, top 40 artists post Malone is the one for me that I think is the most hilarious because he presents like he's got these face tattoos, you know what I mean? He's gonna be, oh, he's gonna be so hard. Oh, just wait till you turn on his songs, they'll be very hard. And then they're all just like- Just you wait, ooh, these rock hard songs

that this guy who's maybe killed somebody in prison made. Yeah, he served some time. And then you turn them on and it's like, you know, emo little melodic little tunes, you know what I mean? You're like, oh, there's like a little high school girl inside of you. Yes, it is like, and I can appreciate some of the Post Malone stuff.

And I think all reports point to he's like a nice guy, loves to play Elvin Ring. Yeah, I mean from the songs, and to see, yeah. But it is like, I am waiting in line for a $7 coffee. Like that is the vibe. Yes, yes, and like, but if you saw his poster, you would never be like, oh that guy is gonna be played at every Starbucks

in America, you know? Sure, yeah, for sure. And it is, yeah, but you were just waiting for that rosewater matcha. It's gonna be so refreshing. Nagin, is it, now, so the things you object to, is it the lineups of the things you object to, is it the lineups of these particular festivals

or just like you don't love an outdoor festival, period? Oh no, I love an outdoor festival. I love summer in general. I love being outside. I grew up in the desert. I'm so comfortable in the heat. All of that stuff I absolutely love. I just think those bands are any like mention of Black Flag, Black Flag's one through five

or whatever. I can't like I'm just like, oh, you know, I can't handle that. Totally. It's too intense. Yes. And yeah, it's unpleasant. Sure. And to be listening to it while hot too, I think is, I can understand not wanting to

have someone scream at you while it's so hot. Out there in Pomona at noon. I performed at a festival. It was like a dad festival. It was very much like white men in their 40s. The band was- Was Wilco involved? Wilco.

Wilco, the band. So this was it? The Solid Sound Festival. Oh, was it? Did I guess it? Curated by my colleague John Hodgman, yeah. John Hodgman. McGee, I was kinda joking.

No, I was like, oh my God, I can't believe that I forgot the name of this huge band, Wilco. Yeah. Who are delightful. And yes, your colleague John Hodgman, No, I was like, oh my God, I can't believe that Frank forgot the name of this huge band, Wilco. Who are delightful. And yes, your colleague, John Hodgman, in fact brought me to that festival because he curates their comedy. And I was surprised by how much fun I had.

I mean, I don't know if that's like the kind of festival you would go to. Is that something you would go to? Oh yeah, I would be interested in that. I definitely like a couple of Wilco albums a lot. It's like, I don't know that I want to be that chill for an entire day, you know? I think that might be a long time to be chill.

I might prefer to see Wilco at a venue as opposed to have it like yeah I just think that that that vibe I want to be I want to be ganked up a little bit I think. Right right. One time I did my radio show at Bumbershoot in Seattle and there were two nice things about that one was our friends Paul Sheeran and Rob Hubel were there. So got to, and they came in on the same flight as me. So got to hang out with Paul and Rob

and there was a Whole Foods right underneath the hotel. That was just a great thing about this experience was. Was the Whole Foods. Anytime you can stay in a hotel that has a Whole Foods attached, I can't recommend it enough. That hot bar is right there for you whenever you need it.

You need some breakfast bars, they're right there. You don't even have to put on clothes. You can just wander down there in your shoes, in your pajamas. Get yourself- Water in a glass cylinder? Yeah, exactly. Hell yeah. Totally available to you.

But the other thing that happened to that festival was, I think one of the headliner, the weekend night that I was there was Band of Horses, which is just a truly classic 40-year-old dad band. And my wife had a period where she was into Band of Horses, but it's not my lane. I'm out here listening to the music from the, the Trails of My Teardrops Festival, Jordan.

What's the one with Al Green? Oh yeah, that one's, you know, I feel like I always have to write that down when I want to talk about it because the name is kind of generic. It is called- Tears of a Clown. Fool in Love, Fool in Love.

Fool in Love. Yeah. And like I, that's what I listen to. Cool in the Gang, Cool in the Gang gonna be in this. Yeah, so on a day-to-day basis, find me listening to early Cool in the Gang jazz funk albums and like, and Parliament records. But I went to see band of horses at this

festival and I had the exact now partly it may have been because it was in Seattle so the weather was very comfortable Jordan but I had the opposite reaction which was like yeah sure I'll sit here and watch this whole thing because it's so chill like Like no excitement. If it was excitement that I wasn't into, and I had the same, I had a very summer boy experience once going to see James Taylor on the 4th of July. Yeah, that sounds nice. Would I listen to a James Taylor album in my day-to-day life? Absolutely not. Under no circumstances. But, you know, James Taylor is in fine voice. Couldn't be more pleasant. I was eating some fried chicken at the time.

Can't beat that. Great experience. Nagin, what is your ideal outdoor music festival? Well, you know what's funny? As you guys were talking, I was thinking about my last music experience, like a live concert. And I have to say, since having a child, live music, and also just being a comedian, it's not really conducive to lots of nighttime, whatever, going to see stuff,

because we're doing shows ourselves. But the last thing I saw was LCD sound system. No, the last thing I saw was you two at the sphere talking about dad band, but that was phenomenal. You saw the ultimate dad band at the ultimate dad venue. Yes, because my brother's 13 years older than me. And so when I was a child, he slipped me a cassette tape of you two, and so like none of my friends were listening to U2,

but because I had this much older brother, I was like loved U2. So U2 has been a favorite of mine since I was like seven years old. To this day, you can't listen to any music that isn't a wash and reverb. Just if that guitar isn't ringing like they played it in a giant metal tank,

you can't listen to it. And bless Edge's heart. Bless Edge's. So that was like a, you know, whatever. Bless his little beanie. Oh, that beanie. So U2 was a phenomenal experience, but right before that I had seen LCD Sound System, had seen LCD Sound System and I went with two like other 40 year old moms and the funny thing was and in that LCD Sound System experience was more

like you know it was in Brooklyn it was late it was you know they didn't come out for a long time blah blah blah and my friends were literally like okay well I guess this is where we do lines of blow. And I was like, what? Your mother's what's happening here? And I actually, I, I don't, I don't do, I'm so scared of those things. So like I declined those particular rails, but I was like, I was like, I was very impressed with my, I was very, I was quite impressed with myself to be even in the same room as any rails, you know what I mean? And so, um, I felt like-

You were a rowdy powder adjacent. Yes, exactly. So I thought that was- I consider myself as I've gotten older to have gone from rails to trails. Now I just like hiking. Our national parks provide the ultimate high. Oh, no, but literally I was like, I might just put an energy bar in my purse. You know what I mean? Like that was where I was going to deal with the energy dip because I felt like that, yeah, that was more my speed. My friends, I have to say, really did,

they really danced all night, and they were like, let's go to a bar after this. And I was like, oh my god. Another living day. You're passing out orange slices. I was like, at this point, a slice of pizza would be very dangerous. I have to immediately go to sleep.

You're probably all, the only bar I'm interested in is a Luna bar. Yeah. There you go. Exactly. That's a rambunctious experience though, isn't it, Nagin, an LCD sound system concert? I mean, there's a lot of action. Yes. Yeah.

This particular show was pretty happening. Everyone was, there's a lot of dancing, a lot of you know, it was a and honestly it was more mixed-age than I give them credit for. But yes, it was but there were heavily represented men in your demographic. Yes. I went to see with my wife the R&B soul and jazz singer Balal, who's one of my favorites. And we got there and there were no chairs. And I truly, this is where I'm at in my life. I like surveyed, there were no chairs.

I said to my wife, we can leave when you want to. And she goes, four songs, four songs. Nguyen, I also saw LCD Sound System kind of sort of recently, like last year, like everybody in my, on my text chain was going to a music festival where they were the headliners. And I kind of feel about them like Jessie felt about Band of Horses. I'm like, yeah, this isn't like, I kind of sort of like the kind of indie dance music of the aughts, but like it doesn't do anything for me. Like if someone's playing it in the car, I'm having a nice time, but like, I don't connect to it.

Right. Plus you're all about chick, chick, chick. Right, sure. Yes, the Rapture are nothing for me. But. But I know the LCD sound system is super beloved. But they were the last band and I'm like, can we leave and get our cars? Can we leave and maybe beat the traffic? I was having the like, we've had fun, let's not push it. We got it, we got it, yeah. But fucking LCD sound system started.

And I'm like, oh my god, I fucking get it. This is awesome, we're all connected, I love all of you. Like that, I totally bought into it. It was so fucking cool. Some MDMA. No MDMA! I had a $15 tequila soda from the Casa Migos Airstream trailer.

I fucking loved it, it was so good. And I've kind of tried to put it on and listen to it around the house and like capture it. I'm like, yeah, this is fine. But I know it's like obnoxious to say you gotta see them live, but like, it really was that for me. I thought you were amazing.

No, you really do, because it feels, there's like a zen-like experience that happens when thought you were amazing. No, you really do because it feels, there's like a Zen like experience that happens when you see them live. Like it's really great. And I had this realization about myself, which like that feeling you get in an LCD sound system show that I get doing, and this is something I realized about myself.

I feel like this is summer boy, but you tell me. I went to a yoga class and we started by doing some significant chanting at the beginning. Usually there's a couple of ohms in a yoga class. This went beyond, it required doing some words that I, you know, of that whatever it's some Sanskrit there was some you know what I mean and and then and really sing and really singing along and trying to remember blah blah blah and I and I was like oh man this is so fun and then

I was like oh god it do I like like yogic chanting and then I and I then I was very concerned about myself and I went up to the yoga instructor and I was like, just out of curiosity, is there like a YouTube channel or something you would recommend? It's like I wanted to do some like solo chanting. Yeah. On my own under cover of night.

Yeah, just chant around the house. And this guy was like, well, I actually have a band. It's called Bokti Riot. Hey, free ad. Bokti Riot, like check us out on Spotify and if you like it. And then he was telling me about like there's different places you could go. And he's like, the thing that you're enjoying is chanting amongst people. And at that, which is, I think the thing that happens kind of out at LCD sound system, it's the same philosophy is that you're sort of like singing along to a thing, bobbing your head, you're around and you're surrounded by people. There's like this group energy and it's so fun, you know, and I think that's why I want

to do chanting. I do have a concern when I go to yoga and when I go to yoga, it's usually at the YMCA with my friends, the old ladies. But when I go to yoga, I do often have a concern which is, am I doing someone else's religion for exercise? Yeah. Yeah. I do my caslet kegels every morning.

It's like if I woke up every morning and genuflected 45 times, I'm not really sure. Like, I'm not convinced that I am, but I'm also a little unsure about it every time. Hail Mary's good for the core. Yeah, exactly. Well, the funny thing is, so you know, I'm a muzz and the interesting thing about Muslims and the praying five times a day is that it is like essentially a form of meditation coupled with a little bit of like humming, you know, like the, cause the word sort of come out in this, you know, after you've been doing it for years, I'm not a prayer, a prayer myself,

but I grew up around a lot of them and it is like a little bit of a like timeout I'm just gonna meditate and so and there is and the funny thing about Islam there's so many hilarious things about Islam no but the man I know you guys are like am I allowed to even say anything? How hilarious is it? No but but the fun thing is that you're also getting like a minor workout you know like when you're also getting like a minor workout, you know, like when you're doing it, because there's like some moves, you know, you get up, you can sit down, you know what I mean? And so I feel like there's a lot of really, there's some extra, there's a little exercise

in religion. And if someone wanted to just do the kind of meditative movement, muttering to yourself part of Islam, I would be totally okay with it. Just so where everyone's clear. Having grown up Episcopalian, I invite anyone to sit quietly. Just anyone who wants to participate in our signature

quiet sitting while someone plays a pipe organ. Nagin, I did want to bring up a specific summer boy, a specific summer boy topic. And maybe I'll explain the concept a little bit for you and for new folks. This is something we like to celebrate every year on the show. It is a tribute to the time that I wore shorts

in Baltimore in the fall, and a cab driver said I looked like a real summer boy. And so we like to celebrate when the summer months come around, just summer activities. And anyone can be a summer boy, regardless of gender. It is a pan-gender term. So, you know, we're celebrating things like chilling and grilling, going on a tube and trip,

outdoor music festivals, biting into a big slice of watermelon, this kind of thing. Jordan, get a load of this. Grilling a big slice of watermelon. Whoa! Fuck, next level. Put some char in that thing. Hell yeah.

I saw a recent post on your Insta, Nicky and Fresad, good Insta follow, that I thought was peak summer boy and I just wanted to ask you about it. This is a post of you and two kind of big scruffy dogs, a handsome man, you're all in the water, and the caption is,

here's a throwback to frolicking with friends in the ocean while on a lot of mushrooms. It's a beautiful post, and I wanted to ask about it and just say that from where I'm sitting, this looks like perhaps the most summer boy post of all time. Jordan, having seen this photograph, I will just say for the benefit of our audience who haven't seen this photograph, even if you left aside all the frolicking, in my heart, I wish that even once a year at the peak of summer, I could spend time

with dogs and a man this handsome. Yeah. Just once. Yeah. Just one time to pass through the circle of a beautiful dog or man such as those. Yeah, first of all, shout out Brad Gero. He's a very handsome man who lives in Los Angeles.

Oh, Brad. Oh, Brad, shout out to you, sir very handsome man who lives in Los Angeles. And- Oh, Brad, oh, Brad, shout out to you, sir. Call us, call us, Brad. Brad, let's Fraw-er. Let's meet in Glendale. He's an excellent Frawlicker, he's an excellent hang. I think he's probably, I honestly, like he's someone I think I look up to

in terms of summer boying effectively. And then- Nagin, I'll say this about Brad. Jordan went to the, that Casa Migos, uh, that Casa Migos Airstream to get his tequila and soda. Brad might be George Clooney's best friend from the Casa Migos pictures. He could be best friends with George Clooney's best friend from the Casamigos pictures. He could be best friends with George Clooney. Yeah, yeah, it's he's got that vibe. Definitely.

And I and the thing I mean, we were Dewey we were so the photo. Yes, we we were at a mushroom retreat That's it. This is where I'm like again. I'm not sure if this is summer boy I know the photo I feel does feel Summer Boy, but what I was doing there was I was sent by a travel magazine to a mushroom retreat in Jamaica to do a fuck ton of psilocybin and then write about it. So I was essentially paid to go off my brain into into other realms, you know, so that I can write a really great piece. This is the dream of all nerds. The dream of all nerds is to have cover to do cool stuff that you're uncomfortable doing on your own. To have someone send you and say, Oh no, this is a writing assignment.

This is homework. Doing this cool stuff is homework. You say, Oh yes, thank you. Oh yes. Yeah. Because I would have never gone myself. I would have never gone myself. I don't even like do any, like I, I, I bristle at anything that's like wellness. You know what I mean? I bristle at like pampering myself that much or putting my own considerations, you know, in that much of the forefront, but for a job. You know what I mean? You have to, you have to do it. Look, and just like my parents immigrated here from Iran

and they did 14 hour days so that me and my brother could survive, I'm the same, clocking in and out of the Caribbean, learning about my feelings. It's the same, you know, labor. And I, but yeah, so we did, we were there for a week and you would do three dose days and then in between you would do three dose days. Um, and then in between you would do these, these rest and integration

days, which is essentially like group therapy, uh, where you go through what happened in your trip and try and capitalize on it from a therapeutic level, you know, so the idea is really to like heal yourself and, um, yeah. So that's why I was there with those. And there's dogs all over the premises that just hang out and act super chill. I feel like if I went there and I did not see a shirtless man riding a horse on the beach,

I would be disappointed. Yeah, exactly, exactly. No, they really delivered on the look of what you think should a mushroom retreat should look like. So yeah, the place is called myco meditations. And it was, I mean, honestly, I went just like you said, like, it's like a thing I would have never done.

I've never had never done mushrooms before in my life. I'm like generally scared of stuff like that. And I went from like never having done it. And when you're doing like a party dose of mushrooms, it's like 5.5 grams, 1 gram or something like that. We were doing like 6 grams, 7 grams. Like we were doing really insane amounts so that you can get the therapeutic advantage. And yeah, I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't a job. so that you can get the therapeutic advantage.

I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't a job. I started out just thinking, this will be funny and I'll get some stand-up out of it. I did get some stand-up out of it, but it also ended up being very life-changing. Wow, okay. Yes, because I had these. For the worse. For no, for the better.

I mean, you know, I mean, it's interesting because like you think of mushrooms as like something fun and like, oh my God, the tree is moving or whatever, right? But in my situation, I mean, they had us wear masks. They would put us on these lounge chairs next to the beach or whatever, and they would have us wear masks so that we wouldn't look at anything and we would go inside. And my first trip, and there were handlers and therapists and nurses everywhere just so you wouldn't hurl yourself into the ocean. And my first trip, I mean, I sobbed

for like five and a half solid hours about the guilt of motherhood. Just straight nonstop crying for five hours. And then they walk me back to my room because you're not in control of all your faculties, right? And so a nurse walks me back into my room and I take a look at my face and I just look so fucking totally beaten up

like I was the heavy for a mafia operation. And I said to the nurse, oh my God, my face is so puffy. And she goes, oh yeah, you cried a considerable amount. So it was like, I went above and beyond in terms of having like a- We've been calling you a baby. Internally.

We've been referring to you as the baby. Yeah, your nickname is, wah wah. Wah. Oh, and I did the same in the second trip. I mean, I did not disappoint. I cried a lot. Did you? What about the third one?

And then the third one was, and again, I write about all of this in that piece if anyone's interested in a FAR magazine. But the third one, I had been talking about having given birth or whatever, blah, blah, blah, and a therapist pulled me aside and she said, out of curiosity, did your birth not go as planned? The delivery not go as planned? And I said, yeah, no, it was a total nightmare, but don't worry about it. I have 15 minutes of standup on it. So like, I'm fine. I'd settled life experience. There's a good chunk there.

So yeah, yeah. And she was like, I don't, okay, but you know, I don't know, maybe there's still something. So of course on the third trip, I get into the trip space and immediately I land, I'm like back in the delivery room and I have to re-experience the entire birth of my child, which was super harrowing. Wow. But yeah, but this time, like we rewrote the experience basically and then, and made it kind of turn out better.

You know, less agonizing. Like with a better child? With less agonizing pain and all that. And then I, and then Then after rewriting that experience, in the trip, I became Napoleon Bonaparte. You know, like in that one. Wow, congratulations. That's huge for you.

It was really big for me. It was really fun. Being Napoleon was super fun. Everyone said that about him. You know that one portrait of him where he has his one leg cocked and he's looking upon his victorious, whatever, war? I was that, that guy.

And I had just won a war and I felt so cool about it. And then I just experienced utter euphoria walking around as Napoleon for several hours. That sounds really beautiful. Do you guys wanna enter the trip space and win a war and then come back for a little bit more? Yeah, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. You know, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Yesico. And together we are The Flophouse, a long-running podcast on the Maximum Fun Network, where we watch a bad movie and then talk about it. And because we're so long-running, maybe you haven't given us a chance. I get it. But you don't actually have to know anything about previous episodes to enjoy us, and I promise you that if you find our voices irritating, we grow endearing over time. Perhaps you listened to one of our old episodes and decided that we were dumb and immature. Well, we've been doing this a while now. We have become smarter and more mature and generally nicer to Dan. But we are only human, so no promises. Find The Flophouse on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Nagin Farsad, professional frolicer. Congratulations on that, by the way. Paint the Frolic, that's the dream. Great, great value brands. I'm looking at their range of products here. Oh, right.

This does not seem to be related to the Walmart generic product, but they make lighters, butane lighters, Rasta brand lighters, pens, and that clear plastic wrap that you put around furniture when you're moving. Cool, and you can get all of these in Rasta? Yeah, you can get all of these in Rasta. You want regular or Rasta? You get red, yellow, and green wraps

for all your furniture. That's how you know you got a good mover. That's right, know you got a good mover. That's right. Rapid Rasta style. Matt apparently has a summer boy call for us. We haven't put out the call for these calls, but usually during the summer boy season, which we're in now, people call us up and tell us about the summer boy shit they're up to.

But apparently somebody has just taken it upon themselves to do it, which is great, I think. We love that. Yeah. Is the call great? We hope so. Hi Jordan, Jesse and guests. This is Sam in Seattle with the momentous occasion.

After several years of bad therapists and no therapists, I finally found one who I really like and it feels tremendous. Also my six-year-old just randomly called me Summer Boy. So I guess I'm really even my if you dingus. Thanks. Yeah. Even my if you dingus. I love it.

Congratulations. Yeah. Finding that right therapist can be tough. It's like Dayton. And I like to, I do fuck all my therapists. So see if there's any... That might be the problem. You've got to at least go on Bumble. Like at least. I feel like the the grinder therapists are not for you, Jordan.

That's right. They're just there. They're just there for a quick wham bam. I'll see you next week. Okay. So guys, I have something to read to you. Sure. This is a post from r slash Walmart on Reddit. Okay. In fact, let's call this a part of our segment, I read it. Yes. On the internet.

So many great segments this week. So many great segments. This is from r slash Walmart. Okay. From the user Redditisgood123, whose their profile says, I'm into all Mopar cars, Dodge specifically. I'm also interested in outer space a lot, and memes,

and a bunch of other little things. Just DM me. DM me for a list of the little things I'm interested in. I got to know. I gotta know. The subject line is, by the way, 277,000 members in r slash Walmart. Congratulations to all slash r slash Walmart. A lot of Walmarts out there. Subject line, great value fucking sucks.

Oh no. This so-called brand, so-called is in quotes, I'm not sure. It is called that, right? They meant to put the brand in quotes. Yeah, yeah, I think that's probably what they're getting at. This so-called brand is nasty and disgraceful. I would like to shut this fucking brand for good. Cheap, this is in italics, cheapap? I don't care. Good food?

No fucking way. That shit is already expired. Even expired food has more flavor than shit value. That'll be the name I'll be referring to as shit value. I might even go on custom ink and print myself a shit value shirt and walk around Walmart with it. Whoa, that'd show those, that'd show those greeters. I think he needs to move beyond Walmart. We got a reply here from educationalad4387 who I really trust and value their perspective. Great value is meant to be cheaper, but usually it's only the packaging that's cheap. The actual product's usually made by the same company that makes the name brand product.

Oh. Well, there you go. Yeah. Do you really think Walmart has some super great brand value factory that produces everything from cereal to toothbrushes to toilet paper to trash bags? Fucking idiot. I agree. Fucking reddit is good.

One, two, three. that guy's a fucking idiot Right Walmart has some kind of super fucking factory This asshole whatever's going on in his brains just addled with thoughts of Mopar and again like You know again, I don't know what is available to this person like maybe Walmart is the nearest closest best choice to this person, like maybe Walmart is the nearest, closest, best choice, but like, I don't know, check out a Target, maybe I'm just a simp for Target, but you know, I think those Target brands are pretty good. Jordan, you're just simping for Target.

I know, I love you, Target, I love your Good and Gather brand. If you try- Target doesn't even love you back. Target has just not been into you. Yeah, Target doesn't care about you at all Target is just not that into you. Like those therapists who just wanna fuck me in their cars. Jordan, again, I'm not even sure these are therapists. Are you getting your therapist at one particular rest stop? They have stethoscopes,

Jesse. They're therapists. They don't just give stethoscopes to anyone. I check and make sure there's a stethoscope before I fuck them in their big rigs. Okay. Wait, so that's your main standard for fucking someone is whether or not they have a stethoscope. Yes, so I know they're a licensed therapist. They can't listen to Jordan's heart.

In therapy and in dating. That's Jordan's. Listen to my heart, Jordan says. Exactly. You probably said that at some point on your mushrooms retreat, Niki. Don't get all hoity-toity with us. You fucked a few therapists, admit it. No, the funny thing is, I feel like when I first started doing therapy, my very first therapist was like a sliding scale, like I was like broke bastard.

And he was like a student or something, you know, getting his hours. And he was like laughing. That was my first therapist too. Not that guy. Yeah, which is great. I mean, you can have a great experience with the ones that are in training. And the problem was he started to laugh at my jokes

and then I was basically testing material on him. And then I was like, I don't think this is how it's supposed to be. I think this is part of my problem and I shouldn't have this relationship with a therapist so that I move, you know, I found someone else. You shouldn't be asking your therapist, does this need a tag? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, where did that, where did I lose you on that bit?

Once in a while, my therapist will bring up something that happened on Hollywood handbook this week. They're funny. They are. They're really funny. Like they. Like they're good guys too. Nice guys. Yeah, I have been going through a mushroom thing and I think, Nagin, the thing that impresses me most about your mushroom story is that as a parent you were able to find a week to go to Jamaica to go on this retreat. I know. My neurologist. Isn't that nuts? I know.

My neurologist sent me to this mushroom doctor that she was working on a research project with. And my neurologist is like the squareest human being I've ever known in my life. She's also very beautiful and glamorous. Shout out to Dr. Dorothy Dada. Love Dr. D. But she is a true classic. She has a PhD and an MD. You know what I mean? She has both.

Oh, Jesus. Yeah. So she has a stethoscope then? Yeah. She treats, yeah. Exactly. She's a therapist, Jordan. Yes. Okay. Just check it. You should check. And I get very intractable migraines. So I'm at the bottom of the list of medications. There's a little tiny bit of research about migraines and mushrooms.

And she had been working on this project with this doctor at UCLA. She says, go see this doctor at UCLA, whatever. And I go see this guy, and he's basically like, he opens by saying, I can't tell you to use mushrooms legally, but if you chose to use mushrooms, I could advise you on how to do so safely from a harm reduction perspective.

And this is the evidence, right? It was a very interesting conversation with this nice man who couldn't tell me to do the one thing that he specializes in. But anyway, he went through this whole thing and, and, uh, I have some mushrooms at my house cause we had some listeners on this. We had some guests on the show about a year ago who were professional drug enthusiasts and just happened to have some.

So I have these mushrooms at my house and I went to see my neurologist the other day and Dr. D says to me, hey, Jesse, have you done any mushrooms yet? You know, we're discussing possible medications. Like, have you done any mushrooms yet? And I'm like, honestly, I haven't found the time. I don't know when in my life I would do the mushrooms. What is a time when there are other people around, but the other people aren't my children?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Nagin, how long do you set aside for them? How long do you think you need to do a mushroom? Well, I mean, the thing that I was doing, you do it for like five or six hours and then afterwards you're also a little messed up. So you need a full day for yourself. So it's definitely a babysitter day, but also, I mean, Jesse, this is very interesting to

me because I also get migraines and they talked about like, know mushrooms having effect but like I didn't continue doing I don't like the funny I mean I'm such a terrible drug you like I tried to for a while to be a pothead because I was going through a bad breakup and everyone was like just smoke some pot and you'll stop crying you know And I was like, okay, and I got an amount. That's the best reason to use drugs. To fix a feeling. I mean, totally. And I wanted to suppress my tears. Everyone agrees. That's the healthy way. Absolutely. And so then I got some amount of marijuana and I like watched YouTube videos on how to roll joint. I was trying to be very conscientious user of marijuana. And I did

it one night and I was like, oh, this is great. I'm not crying Okay, and then the next day I like forgot to do it and I was like, ah, I forgot to do marijuana So then the next day I was like, oh I forgot again And then I was like, how do people become I do you need to set an alarm? Like how do you become a pothead? You know what I mean? Because I just couldn't you got to get a day planner. Yes. Planning, right? It's a three by five card. If you can do it in less than 10 minutes, you do it right now. Otherwise, you file it and what

day you're going to do it. And this is what I didn't appreciate about you know, potheads and drug users of all kinds is how organized they are in their use because I couldn't really get a rhythm going. And so that in the same thing sort of happened with mushrooms, I like then obtained an amount of mushrooms and I was like, I will micro dose. I will do this sometimes, you know, and I have not

because it is very hard to get, you know, when you get those like little 30 minute breaks where like, you're not needed anywhere for 30 minutes and there's no one asking for anything. Like those are like my vacant, like those are like the, the like time off. I don't know how to get a full, like this was a very unusual situation to get just doing that. The other day. and we should explain, since you don't know Nagin, but Jordan is childless, though he's working on getting a son.

I gotta get a son. I'm working on it. These are people. Things we say on the show sometimes. Nagin, people are freaking out that I said that. People are losing their minds. They're swerving their cars off the road. They're like, ah, Jordan's got your son!

I'm working on it. And anyway, Jordan is childless. This is very exciting. I had this experience the other day. It's like when Black Flag smashes that water melon. I have three children, all of whom have significant developmental differences. And so my life is just consumed by caring for my children at all times, including when

I'm supposed to be working or whatever. Right now I'm caring for my children somehow. I'm not sure how. I'm hiding in the shed. Jesse's... Well, you're cooking dinosaur chicken nuggets. Yeah. But the other day I was on Reddit in the number one drama-filled action subreddit, Ask Los Angeles. And someone said, nine to five-ers, what do you like to do after work?

And people were like, I always go to the gym for an hour and then I come home, make dinner and watch some shows. They're like, I love hiking. So most days I'll go hiking, but sometimes I'll hit up the happy hours and like just all these really pleasant, great attitude things. Some people are like, I'm a home body. I just like to go home and do some work on my quilting, you know, whatever it is. And my only reaction to this whole list of just positive uses of people's time was anger.

Just pure, just pure, uncut rage. This is what leads to shitposting. That they have hobbies and positive feelings about themselves. You know what would be, not summer boy, but sort of like Swedish boy of the two of you is if you combined forces. And had like, and like lived collectively.

So that you all, and then, you know, and you all like can raise each other's children, you know, and your upcoming son, Jordan. And you all can raise each other's children and your upcoming son, Jordan. That's a great idea. Yeah, it'll be like being in an LCD sound system concert all the time. All the time.

And then just throw on some Bakhti riot in the background to do your chanting. Because I feel like every parent in America needs to live collectively so that we all get more breaks and can like relax for five minutes. Yeah, I think that's a great idea. I also think that it could help Jordan save on rent, which in turn would help him build his nest egg for son acquisition. There you go. Yeah. I could live in the shed. Oh, yeah. I could live in the shed!

Shed! Okay, hold on. I have to call movers. And Jesse, give me the address of your shed. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go. People say not to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. Which is why here on Just the Zoo of Us, we judge them by so much more. We rate animals out of 10 in the categories of effectiveness, ingenuity, and aesthetics

taking into consideration each animal's true strengths. Like a pigeon's ability to tell a Monet from a Picasso, or a polar bear's ability to play basketball. Guest experts like biologists, ecologists, and more join us to share their unique insight into the animal's world. Listen with friends and family of all ages on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. It's Jordan Jess Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart, Jordan Morris Boy Detective. And Nagina Farsad, world-class Frolicker.

Yeah. I was thinking about top rails. I'm going to go number three, handrail. Number two is gonna be train rails. Specifically light rail. Good rail. Number one, I'm gonna go with getting railed. Three great rails.

Yeah. What's your favorite rail? 206-9844-fun. What's your favorite rail 206 9844 fun what's your favorite real we want to hear about it after this block of ACDC hit us up on the socials what's your favorite rail again it's been a joy. We've barely talked about your show, Fake the Nation, which is one of the biggest and most popularest and most hilarious combinations of current events and comedy in the entire world of podcasting. Oh, thank you.

I should say that. I should have you pool quoted on the Fake the Nation poster. Yes, and you know, I feel like many of the people that have been in your orbit have been on Fake the Nation and including yourselves will be on Fake the Nation. We're going to come on Fake the Nation. I've done it a couple times. I always have a blast. It's so, so, so much fun.

Nagina's obviously hilarious. It's a fun time. And y'all book funny people. I always have a good time. We do. And we also, we have some unexpected people that come on the show, like Neil deGrasse Tyson, and journalists like Ellie Mistol,

but it'll be like the journalists that can hang and have a laugh. So yeah, so definitely tune in. I don't like Neil deGrasse Tyson. Oh boy. I don't like him because he- He ruined Jurassic Park for you? Because he made fun of me for being scared of the ocean because it goes on too far.

And space. I told him I was also, I asked him if he was ever afraid of space because it goes on too far. No. And space. I told him I was also, I asked him if he was ever afraid of space because it goes on almost forever and it kind of is unsettling. And he just made fun of me. He was mean to me. I mean, I've said to him point blank that I'm not a candidate forever going on any sort of space mission. I have no, like I have literally no interest and I do star talk sometimes.

Is this, wait, now hold on again. Is this a, is this your official position? I mean, is this just for when you're talking to Neil Degrasse Tyson or is this overall you refuse to travel to space? Look, I mean, okay, so as a fellow migraine sufferer, I also have like, I get like a motion sickness. I have a lot of little problems, everyone. And I, it sounds like a vomit fest. Getting in a spaceship just sounds like me vomiting for several hours and then coming back or whatever.

You vomit in a spaceship. You got to live with that vomit. Unless they got one of those vomit vacuums. Yeah. Unless there's a shop vac up there. Everyone has to live with that vomit unless they got one of those vomit vacuums Yes, there's a shop vac up everyone has to live with your vomit and so it just sounds like an unpleasant experience for me also What if I die? I guess that's also part of it Does a thing and then we all die Nagin honestly, I'm worried I might die either way. Right. Yeah.

You can die a lot of good ways to die on earth. Crocodile, heart attack, stabbed by man. Three top ones, I would say. You got crocodile, you got heart attack, and then you got stabbed by man. And getting railed. But no, there's the Venn diagram of three, top three rails, and then top three ways to die. And that one, you could be hit by a train on a light rail.

You could. And that's the Venn diagram. A lot of deadly rails out there. During this August for anal August, I think this one might- We have a lot of holidays, Nagin. Yeah, we celebrate a lot of deadly rails out there. During this August for Anal August, I think this one might- We have a lot holidays, Nagin. Yeah, we celebrate a lot of holidays. In August, we celebrate Anal August.

You're very festive. It's not gross. Without a base without a trace, Nagin. This August, I think I'm gonna dedicate myself to letting our audience know that even straight cis men can get railed. It's okay to get railed.

It's great to get railed. Let's all go out there and get railed. Yeah. And that can mean. You're taking up the real issues here. Yes, right up the issues. Look, I'm a... Look. It's an election year.

You can't be afraid to talk about it. I abide by the NPR ethics handbook. It says that I can't tell people how I vote or have yard signs. But you know what? There's nothing in there that says I can't encourage straight men to get railed. In fact, there's a little part in there where Linda Wertheimer says, you should encourage straight men to get railed. That's what Linda, there's a quote from Linda Wertheimer in there. Wow.

That says that. I haven't read that handbook as carefully. Well, I recommend it. Is this our most educational episode ever? I think this is super educational. There's a lot of young people out there who have listened to this episode and learned to read. Hey, substitute teachers, if you don't know what to do in class, put on this episode.

Yeah, put this on. This is the new standby made. Why are you putting on Apollo 13 when you could put this on? Well, Nagin, it has been a joy to have you on the program. Apollo 13 when you could put this on. Well, Nagin, it has been a joy to have you on the program. Thank you so much for making the time. I know you're very busy traveling to various nations to sample their drugs. But it's been great to see you, Nagin. That's mainly what I do.

Nagin, again, is the host of Fake the Nation, which you can get in any of your podcast apps. It's a real joy of a program. You can also hear her regularly on a wait, wait, don't tell me. And you can also find her on standup stages across this great nation. You headed out anywhere you do in New York shows. What are you up to? You know, I'm doing a tour called comedy saves democracy with a few other people like Chris Gethered, who you may know and love and we will have a fun time. So check out my website when it is updated and Comedy Saves Democracy dates will all be posted very soon.

We'll be on the road in July. And it's, you know, during an election year, we're trying to get people together from all aspects of the political divide. You know what, if you're worried that you're going out to a comedy show and you're only gonna laugh, no. They're gonna give you the opportunity to applaud as well. Let's all laugh, let's all clap. That's what satire is all about.

At the end of the day, you wanna laugh, but you also wanna take some opportunities to applaud. And get a $15 tequila soda from the House Amigos Airstream. Matt Lieb is our producer, Brian Sunny D. Fernandez is our producer, Emeritus. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design. Thanks to The Free Design. Thank you to their label Light in the Attic Records. You can find us on social media. Jordan is at Jordan David Morris. I am at Jesse Thorne. Very famous on Instagram. We are on Twitter at Jordan Jesse Go. We are on Facebook at facebook.com slash Jordan Jesse Go. Go like and follow us in all of those places. Don't miss Jordan's book that is just around the corner. You can pre-order it right now. It is called Youth Group. And don't forget to do some shopping at the Put This On Shop at putthisonshop.com.

Hey, how about this, Jordan? If you're listening to this show in Apple podcasts, which you might be, drop a review. Drop a review in Apple podcasts. Drop us a review. Makes a big difference in their algo, and we're always grateful to hear what you have to say. Oh yeah. Just make sure to let us know which one of us you prefer.

Like at the end of the day, that's what we want to hear. We want to hear that you like one of us, but not the other one. Right. Yeah. Anyway, but please do. Select a favorite. Yeah. Please do drop a review in Apple Podcasts.

And if you don't use Apple Podcasts, how about this? This week, you listen through all the credits. Pick somebody to tell about Jordan Jessi Goh that you think might like this show. Yeah, this is a good episode. I bet there's somebody. Recommend this one. Yeah, this was a good one. Okay.

We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jessi Goh. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love on Jordan and Jessica.