Judge John Hodgman - The Colbert Rapport

Episode Date: April 1, 2011

  When is it appropriate to request a photo with a celebrity seen in the wild? Andrew and Britt bring this case of a Hollywood party, Stephen Colbert, and potential Facebook popularity before the judge.

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne. This week, the Colbert rapport. R-A-P-P-O-R-T. Andrew brings the case. He and his sweetheart Britt went to a Hollywood party and were surprised to of her and Colbert, it would be an instant hit on Facebook and a valuable memento of the time they went to a party and Stephen Colbert was there. Andrew said discretion was the most important issue at hand and refused to approach Colbert for a photo. So, is it a celebrity's job to accept adoration? Or is bothering a public figure tacky? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge Sean Hodgman enters the courtroom. Well, good afternoon, everyone. Please prepare to face my judgment and my wrath.

Andrew Britt, please raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever? Yes. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he doesn't have his own television show? Yes, very much so. Very well. Judge Hodgman?

You may be seated. Okay, who is the complainant? Would that be Andrew? Yeah, I guess it would be, Your Honor. All right. Step before me and tell me your beef. Well... Clear your voice.

Clear your throat. Clear your throat. You want to do a few vocal exercises? That's fine. Me, me, me, me, me, me, mo, mo, mo. The tip of the tongue, the teeth, and the lips. The tip of the tongue, the teeth, and the lips. All right.

That was fairly creepy, Bailiff Jesse. All right. Andrew, I creepy, Bailiff Jesse. All right, Andrew, I think we're all warmed up. Let's go. On the night of September 21, 2008, Britt and I attended a party at STK, which is a late-night hotspot here in Los Angeles. Sure. It was a post-Emmy party for Comedy Central,

and we saw Mr. Colbert enter, and we were both stunned. We're big fans of the Colbert Report, we're big fans of Stephen Colbert, and Britt wanted to go up to Mr. Colbert to get a picture, mainly to put on Facebook, and I disagreed with that, because it's an industry party, Mr. Colbert looked busy. He's a very famous man. Other people had approached him earlier to try and get photographs, which they did successfully, but I felt like at this point, it would have been uncouth. Okay. Do you dispute, Britt, any of the salient details that were reported by Andrew? I do. I do. I agree with him that Andrew and I,

we were attending an award show after party. But when I spotted Stephen Colbert, he was by himself. There was no one near him. And I just thought, this is a great opportunity. I'm going to go over to him, tell him how much I love his show, and then get a picture together. And so I asked Andrew to take a picture of Mr. Colbert and myself, and that's where he refused to do so.

Like he mentioned before, he said it was poor form to approach a celebrity for a picture or an autograph. Okay. I argued that because Mr. Colbert was at the club to make a public media appearance, that it was appropriate. You know, it's not like he was eating dinner with his family or he's not having personal time. He was there to promote his work, and I would be helping him in that promotion by taking his picture and then putting it on Facebook.

Yeah, indeed. And in many ways, he owed you a picture. Yeah. Right. I see your point. Why were you at the party? You guys Hollywood bigwigs? No.

Medium wigs? Medium wigs? Yes. Yes, medium wigs. All right. I actually wrote a couple years ago for a television trade magazine and was covering the Emmys earlier in the night. Right. And then had obtained an invitation to the Comedy Central party later.

Were you there in your guise as a media professional or you were just there as a freeloader who wanted some free drinks and an opportunity to rub shoulders with the finest of the Comedy Central performers? I think it was a little of both. Well, that is the definition of a media person. Somewhere between professional and deadbeat is the freelance magazine writer. Ouch. I speak as a former freelance magazine writer and current deadbeat. So please don't take no offense. Fair enough. I was wearing my fedora with the press ticket stuck inside.

Oh, boy. Don't tell me you have a fedora. No. Do you have evidence to put into the equation? You do have some photographs there in front of you. I submit after this debacle, I was hearing a lot of – Debacle, Andrew? Debacle, really?

You're refusing to take a photograph of your – He's a bit dramatic. After this non-event – I stand by my terminology. Okay. We attended later an event called Paley Fest. And this is my argument about why I didn't want to approach Mr. Colbert at the time. Because I feel like this was an industry.

Clear your throat. Get it ready. Okay, here we go. Don't apologize. I'm just being silly. Go on. I put you on the defensive. You are going to lose this case.

Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Go on. You were saying? Here's the thing. This was an industry event. Sure. PaleyFest, that is more of a fan event we uh brit and i attended a true blood panel and uh one of the cast members is married to michael emerson who plays ben sure on lost right we see

in the crowd and i feel like this is a make good okay okay i'll stop you there i think i get your point so you sent me these pictures one a picture a picture that you took of Britt with Michael Emerson from television show Lost. And that was designed to make up for the fact that you refused to take a picture of her with Stephen Colbert. And then you also sent me a photograph of, I presume, you with Bill Nye the Science Guy. Well, that's my evidence. Okay. And Bill Nye the Science Guy also, is he starring in True Blood this season? I didn't realize that. No, well, I sent that sort of as a counter to Andrew because, well, Andrew feels like he made good with that photo, which I agree is awesome. I'm going back to the original case where Andrew refused to take this picture. And it was a perfect opportunity to take the picture. Like Stephen Colbert was alone. I could have went up.

He was well lit. He was by himself. He was vulnerable. Yeah. So I could have pounced. But Andrew refused to take the picture. And then while we were arguing over etiquette, you know, the moment was lost. And then why didn't you just go up to him and say, hey, you're terrific.

And I just wanted to let you know that. Because I was arguing with Andrew. But why didn't you just stop arguing with Andrew? Because we were trying to prove a point. Which became more important than actually meeting Stephen Colbert. Unfortunately, yeah. Why did you want the picture? This is why we're here today.

Why did you want the picture? Well, first of all, I wanted the picture because I'm a fan. And second of all, because I wanted to put it on Facebook. Okay, let's start with the first part first. You're a fan. Okay. What does having a picture of you with Stephen Colbert mean to you as a fan? Well, it's exciting because I watch him. Are you afraid that you might forget that you met him?

Maybe. Are the people around you very suspicious and consider you to be deceitful? Do you have a history as a liar? So if you said, I met Stephen Colbert, people would say, well, you must provide me with photographic evidence. Is that a possibility? I feel like the story is that much stronger when I actually have photographic evidence. Like it's just more impressive, you know? Oh, impressive. All right. And so putting it on Facebook, does that tie into the desire to impress? Well, Facebook is just like a museum of your personal awesomeness. So yeah, I guess so.

I believe that Andrew wrote when he initially presented this case that you felt that having a picture of Stephen Colbert on your Facebook page would be worth a million Internet dollars. You'd be an Internet millionaire and you would not be getting actual dollars, right? You would be getting dollars and dollars and dollars of credibility of some kind? Yes. I see. All right. And it was, in fact, so important to you that you decided that it was more important to fight with Andrew about it than to actually have an encounter with your hero, Stephen Colbert. Would that be fair to say? Pretty much of our entire relationship, probably, yes.

All right, Andrew, I'm going to turn to you now. Picture of you with Bill Nye the Science Guy. Yes. I have nothing against Bill Nye the Science Guy, but I'm not sure what this is supposed to prove. Oh, that's my evidence. Okay, so what does this prove? Other than Andrew needs to let his bangs grow out a little bit. My argument is, you know, when is it appropriate or not appropriate to approach celebrities? And what are the rules of etiquette to this? Andrew believes that, you know, if it's a fan event, that it's okay.

But if it's a business event, then it's not appropriate. But I submitted this picture because he was actually on, I think this was during a business event where he just happened to run across Bill Nye and he took a picture. So I feel like he broke his own rule in this case. What was the business event, Andrew? That is actually at the Discovery Communications Upfront After event. Hard ticket to get. Hard ticket to get.

I do have an explanation, though. hard ticket to get hard ticket to get i do have an explanation though now if your honor will look at the picture uh you'll notice that mr nye is the one holding the camera i simply said can i get a picture of you for our website right without missing a beat said absolutely grabs my camera spins me around you'll see the arm around me. Yeah, yeah, I see. And then the MySpace angle there with the camera. Nicely put, the MySpace angle. Yes, I see what you're saying exactly, right? I missed pouting my lips out, but that is...

You missed pouting your lips, but you did give the thumbs up for the I'm in a picture with a celebrity. So you're saying it was Bill Nye's fault. He accosted you. Yes, if I had to describe it that way, absolutely. Right, right, okay. But it still went on Facebook. So you're saying that Andrew's a hypocrite. Yes. What do you think was going on? Do you think he was afraid of Stephen Colbert? You know, I don't know. Like Bill Nye, Michael Emerson, these guys, you know, Andrew will walk all

over these guys, of course. And Bill Nye's obviously Emerson, these guys, you know, Andrew will walk all over these guys, of course. And Bill Nye is obviously begging to be in photographs. But when it comes to Colbert, you think he just got shy? Do you think he's hiding shyness behind principle? I don't know. But either way, I missed my photo opportunity. I see. And the picture with Michael Emerson is a poor substitute, would you say?

Well, I mean, it's awesome. But it's not a picture with Stephen Colbert. Okay. Jesse, did you get that recording? Yes. Okay, that's down for the record. It's awesome, but it's not a picture with Stephen Colbert. So noted.

Okay, because I happen to know Michael Emerson. Why? We have a mutual friend, and that's how I do it. That's how I get close to the celebrities. I work with mutual friends because I'm star friender number one. Would you like me to send the tape of what you just said to Michael Emerson? Did it occur to you that Michael Emerson is a human being and not some disappointing third-rate addition to your collection of celebrity Pokemon?

Well, I don't feel like he's a disappointing third-rate addition. No foil card Stephen Colbert for your Facebook page. I'm just saying that there's still a hole in my collection where Stephen Colbert should be. I see. All right. I think I have everything that I need to make my decision. I'm going to go into chambers and think this over, and then I'm going to come back. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman exits the courtroom.

Britt, did you feel like you were tripped up by Judge Hodgman's merciless questioning? He was pretty hard. Do you think you still have a shot of winning? Absolutely. I stand by my decision. How about you, Andrew? Do you think you can walk away with a W in this one? You know, I'm feeling really, really confident in my argument. I still feel that I helped Mr. Colbert dodge a bullet. Britt, no matter how Judge Sean Hodgman decides in this case, you won't come out of it with a photograph of you and Stephen Colbert. So why is winning this case so important to you? Well, first of all, I want some clarity on the rules of etiquette when approaching a celebrity. I don't know. Again, I still feel like

Andrew somehow owes me this photo opportunity. It can be a book signing, something of a memento with Stephen Colbert on it that I could possibly have photographic evidence and put it on Facebook. Andrew, have you got a backup plan if you lose this thing? A lot of self-addressed

stamped envelopes sent to Mr. Stephen Colbert, I guess. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman re-enters the courtroom. You know, I was listening from my chambers and because, you know, really, I've made up my decision before I even spoke to you people. So I was just listening at the keyhole. And Andrew, I heard you say that you feel that you helped Stephen Colbert dodge a bullet. Not in terms of dodging a bullet. No, no.

I presume Britt was not going to try to assassinate him. But in what way do you mean dodge a bullet? Like would it have been so terrible, do you think, for Stephen Colbert? Well, it's one of these things that even if we had obtained the picture and Britt had stood next to Stephen Colbert, I think what would have happened is we would have seen the picture and we would have known that Mr. Colbert may have been dying on the inside because from all that I've read, all of the research that I've done on famous, famous celebrities, they all hate their celebrity.

There you are wrong. Before, as you know, I am a very famous minor television personality, and I like it a lot. And I would not want to live the life that you live, worrying about whether Bill Nye wants to have his photograph taken with you, sir. It's fantastic. would say that they must, by definition, enjoy public adoration in a narcissistic way, or else they, A, wouldn't be doing what they're doing, and B, wouldn't be going to parties when they could be home quietly at home,

being private and silent alone, and you'd have to break into their house to get their picture, which I think Brit might be thinking about doing. But let me say this. I think that it is true that photographs have become the new autograph when it comes to approaching famous people. And as someone who is occasionally approached for being on television, this is something that I think about a lot. And as somebody who has approached famous people that I admire in a fanboyish way a lot in my life, it's something that I've thought about as well. fanboyish way a lot in my life. It's something that I've thought about as well. Indeed, that is why I became a freelance journalist to begin with, was precisely to have access to people that I thought were interesting and important and to trick them into talking to me. Do you understand?

And so I love to meet the people that I think are doing great things that are interesting, and I love to clutch their sweaty hands and know that I had that moment with them, and I don't care how they feel about it. That's certainly how I felt when I saw Joe Jackson at the Ear Inn in 1994, and I was drunk, and he was trying to leave, and I just had to go up to him and yell in his face, I love that album, Steppin' Out so much, and then he walked away. It was an embarrassing thing for me and it brought him no pleasure but I am glad that I had that moment to at least say, I like what you do. And I think that while Joe Jackson obviously did not want to be accosted Bill Nye style at that exact moment, I would imagine that he wouldn't be a performer if he were not hoping to make

that connection from time to time. And if I had been somewhat less drunk and somewhat more female and pretty, he might have appreciated the attention. However, the photograph thing makes it a little bit different. There's a situational issue here, and then there's an issue of principle. The situation, I think, clearly was one in which Britt could have certainly approached Stephen Colbert and had a photograph taken with him, and he would have been happy to do it. So in that case, Andrew, you're absolutely wrong. I happen to know Stephen Colbert. I've met him a couple of times. I would not call him a friend, but I've met him professionally a few times. As you know, I am star friend or number one.

And so I can tell you from personal experience that he's one of the nicest people in the world and one of the most generous people in the world with his time. And certainly I think that if he were at a Comedy Central party after the Emmys where other people already had been taking pictures with him, that was a pretty clear cue that it would be okay for you to go up there. And he would probably say yes, and he would probably enjoy it a little bit and endure it a little bit. And then you'd have your photograph and you put it on Facebook. Hooray. So in that sense, Andrew, you are very, very, very wrong. However, that does not let you off the hook. You had an opportunity to go up to Stephen Colbert and say, I'd like what you do. And I think that you were probably less drunk than I was when I accosted Joe Jackson, and you are certainly more female than I am. And I think he probably would have enjoyed the

attention, and you would have enjoyed that moment together. Humans are not part of a massive social network game. And this idea of collecting pictures to put on Facebook, I think is not an issue for, as far as a celebrity is concerned, that's part of the job as far as people who are in the public eye are concerned. But you should think about it. You cannot be mayor of Stephen Colbert. You get nothing by putting that up there. A million Internet dollars is worth 50-0 dollars, 50,000-0 American real dollars. And, in fact, you don't even get anything.

It's not only that you get anything, you pay in a portion of your own soul because when you treat humans that way, you are logically saying that you expect to be treated the exact same way, that you are somebody else's Pokemon for someone else to collect. So, I think that it would be a lot more memorable and good

if you stopped arguing with Andrew, who clearly is a hypocrite and is clearly clearly was just going on a gut instinct that it was probably not the right thing to do at that moment. Maybe his gut instinct was correct. Maybe he was just shy and intimidated and was afraid to go and do it for you. But the reality is that if you just stopped arguing with him and walked over to Stephen Colbert and said, hey, you know what? I think you're terrific.

I love your show, and I just wanted to say so. He would have been so nice to you, and you would have had that memory forever instead of this bitter feud that you have now with Andrew over something that is, I think, very clearly a non-issue. Now, Andrew, you say that you probably deserve thanks from Stephen Colbert. In fact, I think in your note you wrote that you wanted a letter of thanks from Stephen Colbert. Maybe not a letter. Maybe some kind of trinket. Well, you know, the reality is, as star friender number one, I could probably get him to write you that letter.

But I'm not going to. Wouldn't want to put you in that position, Your Honor. No, no. Well, look, I appreciate you're a man of principle. I'm not going to do it because that would be trading off my largely accidental proximity to Colbert to impress you and my podcast audience and thus get millions of not internet dollars, but millions of podcast

dollars, which are worth negative American dollars in the real world. Colbert is someone I like and respect just as I like and respect you both. And so while he does have a different privacy standard than other people in the world because he's in the public eye and therefore more visible and to some degree, you know, has to deal with the burden of being approached, that doesn't mean that I would treat him in any other way than as an actual human being whom I admire and I encourage you to do the same. That means go ahead and go talk to those people who you see

once you wheedle your way into the discovery up front or whatever. You should seek out those connections. You should let people know that you like what they do and share of yourself with them. And if they want to take a picture, as Bill Nye obviously did, or if you want to take a picture with them, that's

fine too. But know this, that when you're doing it in order to put it on the Facebook or to prove to someone else, I think you're missing the actual opportunity. And speaking of missed opportunities, this was 2008? Yes. And this was the Comedy Central after party? Yes, it was.

Well, I was at that goddamn party. I was right there. Why didn't you come up and take a picture with me? We were intimidated. What? That's all I wanted to do was have a picture with you guys. Your entourage of millionaire astronauts you arrived with were way too intimidating. There was an astronaut at that party. I did not know that. Yeah. And he was the one who told me that

he had watched me on television in space. Cool. So I don't deserve to have a photograph taken with me? All right, here's what's going to happen. I have to find in favor of Andrew in order to punish you, Britt, for not talking to Stephen Colbert instead of arguing about having the photograph taken. And yet I must also find in favor of Britt because, Andrew, you were wrong. That was an unboyfriendly thing to do. Next time, just take the picture. Walk away. But I will punish you, and I will reward you both in the same way.

The next time you see me, we'll all have a photograph taken, the three of us. But you cannot put it on Facebook. Oh. This is what I'm talking about. You're learning now, aren't you? I just offered you exclusive access to the John Hodgman Club with photographic evidence, but you cannot put it on Facebook, nor can you Twitter it. It must be for you and me and Andrew alone. Do you accept my judgment?

Yes. You have no choice. This is the sound of a gavel. John Hodgman rules. That is all. Britt, do you think that this wisdom is going to change the way that you live your life in the future? Well, I'm certainly going to chew on it for a while. I don't know if it's going to make a major change, but I'm definitely going to think about it.

Andrew, how about you? Yeah, yeah. No, I completely agree that celebrity encounters shouldn't be dealt with like trading cards. Would it help you, Britt, if I sent you a picture of me with Stephen Colbert? celebrity encounters shouldn't be dealt with like trading cards. Would it help you, Britt, if I sent you a picture of me with Stephen Colbert? Do you have one? Yeah, you can find it on my Facebook. What?

Oh, really? If it was autographed, I would appreciate it. I actually have one question for the two of you. If someone asks to take a picture with me, which occurs infrequently, should I put my arm around them? And does it matter if they're a lady or a dude? What part of the body are you putting your arm around? Their thighs? I usually put my arm around their junk. Is that cool? Oh, the junk arm? Yeah. That's traditional. Yeah. I used to see that in a lot of like 30s and 40s publicity stills for celebrities, but that's not really typical now. That was because in the 30s and 40s publicity stills for celebrities, but that's not really typical now. That was because in the 30s and 40s, people wore their junk up around their navels. That's why

their pants were so high. And their neckties were shorter. Exactly so. And they didn't wear t-shirts. Andrew, Britt, thank you for being on Judge John Hodgman. Thank you. Let me just clarify for a second. I'm sorry. I have to go back to this. I am a great advocate of autographs. I think that autographs are a completely non-intrusive and yet very personal thing that you can take away from a meeting that is somehow more meaningful, I think, to the person who is putting pen to paper than just sort of standing there with the sort of weird thumbs up, you know, dead eye, deer in the headlights glare that you get out of a celebrity a lot of the time, certainly for me. John, if someone asks you to take a picture with them, do you put your arm around them? Well, there has to be some kind of bodily contact in order to prove it has not been photoshopped. I usually do a handshake.

Like a welcome aboard photograph for a new hire? Exactly so. Exactly so. Like an employee of the month photograph. And then I hand them a gigantic check. That's usually the other thing that I'll do. There's one thing that I will say. There is an unfortunate side effect of the photograph taking the place of the autograph in sort of celebrity culture. Which is that a lot of people like to take photographs of celebrities when they're not looking. Like at a restaurant or something.

And my friend, who shall go unnamed, and his father and stepmother, who shall go unnamed, the father and stepmother were traveling in another country, and they saw Ina Garten, the barefoot contessa, in the restaurant. And they came back and they bragged all through dinner about how they had snuck a picture of Ina Garten and how they had to move people around at the table to pretend they were taking pictures of their own party in order to get a picture of Ina Garten in the background. And that, I think, is the most loathsome thing you could possibly do because that truly is an invasion of someone's privacy without even the decency of saying, hey, I like what you do.

Do you know what I mean? Like that's a complete violation of the transaction. And then I saw a picture. I won't tell you why I was looking at so many pictures of Club 33 at Disneyland, the secret private club upstairs in New Orleans Square in Disneyland, but I was. And someone posted with great pride a picture that they had taken without his knowledge of Mickey Rooney having lunch at Club 33.

Oh, gee. It was the saddest thing that I had ever, like, this poor old man is just trying to have lunch at the private secret club in New Orleans Square at Disneyland, and yet here's someone at another table pretending to take a picture of the person at their table so that they can get old Mickey Rooney over his shoulder, like in this moment of absolute sort of thoughtlessly put underneath the photo on the Club 33 website where they say, it was such an honor to see Legend of Stage and Screen Mickey Rooney at Club 33. And they have this picture of this guy picking his nose.

It's just terrible. So at least you're not those people, right? Yes, at least we're not those people. All right. Well, thank you very much for letting me abuse you. I wouldn't do it unless I respected you as human beings. Appreciate that, Your Honor. Thank you. Great to meet you both.

Okay. Now that we've retired to your chambers, Judge Hodgman, with your permission, I thought I might offer a few cases for you to make some snap judgments. Sure, Jesse. Let me just move. The embarrassing thing about that case is I have Stephen Colbert tied up in my office as part of my collection. Let me just move him into the hideaway hole.

I couldn't tell because he had that potato sack over his head. It could have been anyone who wears a handsome Brooks Brothers suit. Well, let me just get him down to the trap door here. Okay, he's down there with Dick Cavett. Now, let's move on. Here's a case from Ken. He says, this is a dispute that's been smoldering for years. My friend of over 20 years, Kyle, and I share books we enjoy with each other.

One book I discovered was Blameless in Abaddon by James Morrow. Never heard of it. I purchased this book while on vacation in Cape Cod. I enjoyed the book so much that when I returned to Wisconsin, I eagerly lent it to Kyle. Not only did Kyle enjoy the book, he attended a book signing by the author without me. At the book signing, he had the author inscribe it to him as if it was his book. Now Kyle claims the book as his own since it clearly has his name on it. I don't have a receipt to prove I bought the book.

I don't exactly want the book back. I just want justice to prevail. Can you help? Books that are purchased on vacation in Cape Cod are designed to be thrown away or left behind in a rental house. That is the rule of summer books. I am glad that he lent it to his friend and thus cheated the author out of additional royalty monies. And I don't think that it was entirely right of Kyle to go and then have it inscribed in his name. But clearly, because he A, kept the book, and B, went to the reading, and C, had it inscribed,

I think his investment in the book buys him a certain amount of squatter's rights. If Ken does not want the book back, because Kyle has had the author deface it for him, then I think the only possible way to settle this properly is for Kyle to pay Kim the cost of the book. This question is, if I might editorialize, one of the dumbest we've ever received. This comes from Chris and Natasha. Natasha writes the email. She says, my boyfriend and I have a longstanding disagreement over which is conceptually funnier, the phrase taco ATM or the phrase dog food video. This disagreement began before we started dating, and now 18 months later, we still don't agree.

I think taco ATM is superior because of the way it sounds with hard T sounds. because of the way it sounds, with hard T sounds. Chris thinks that dog food video is funnier, because when a customer goes into a video store thinking they're going to rent a video, but instead gets dog food or a video of dog food, it's a very funny situation. This whole disagreement began when a Blockbuster video turned into a Mud Bay pet store in our neighborhood chris coined both phrases but now we're at each other's necks regarding which one is funnier they describe places that used to be one thing but are now another which might be confusing for the customers well i think we can

both agree that neither of them are funny, conceptually or otherwise. Not in the traditional sense, no. And nothing is more tiresome to me than hearing people explain why things are funny, especially when they're not funny. This kind of humor seems to arise out of an idea that random words put together form non-sequiturs that are funny. And I find this kind of humor to be offensive. It also makes me want to eat tacos. I'm concerned about these people and their mental health. But if I were forced to choose between the three random words, dog food video, and the well, two, the one random word and one random acronym, Taco ATM.

I almost hate to rule on this, but Taco ATM is incrementally funnier, I guess. The end. Shall we end this thing? Please. And I do not need a receipt from the Taco ATM. I would like to forget that this ever happened. I wouldn't mind a taco, though. taco ATM. I would like to forget that this ever happened. I wouldn't mind a taco though.

The Judge John Hodgman podcast is a production of MaximumFun.org. Our special thanks to all of the folks who donate to support this show and all of our shows at MaximumFun.org slash donate. The show is produced by Julia Smith and me, Jesse Thorne, and edited by Matt Gorley. His great podcast, by the way, is called Super Ego. You can find it in iTunes or online at gosuperego.com. You can find John Hodgman online at areasofmyexpertise.com. If you have a case for Judge John Hodgman, email us and be sure and include your telephone number. The email address is hodgman at maximumfund.org. If you have thoughts about the show, you can always comment on it on our message board, forum.maximumfund.org. We'll see you online and next time right here on the Judge John Hodgman Podcast.