Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Brandy and Julie on Hilaria Baldwin Joining Housewives, Ashton and Diddy
Episode Date: April 11, 2024The hilarious Brandy Howard and Julie Goldman are here! I announce my new tour so get your tickets! Lala Kent is having another girl and Jax and Brittany barely had sex. "The Valley" is the best new s...how on TV. Hilaria Baldwin may join Kyle Richards' "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." Kimora Lee Simmons’ daughter broke up with her 65 yr old St. Barts fling. Is Jojo Siwa a narcissist? Ashton Kutcher’s friendship with P. Diddy is being scrutinized. "Seeking Sisterwives" is more disturbing than ever and this throuple has our opinions. Enjoy! Go to https://MintMobile.com/JuicyScoop get your new wireless plan for just $15 a month, and get the plan shipped to your door for FREE Get 20% OFF @honeylove by going to https://honeylove.com/JUICY ! #honeylovepod #sponsored Shop Juicy Scoop Merch https://juicyscoopshop.com Get EXTRA Juicy on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop Follow Me on Social Media Instagram: https://www/instagram.com/heathermcdonald TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales, her real life, Mr. Safe and Serial Data, and Serial Sister. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast.
Listen in, listen up, woo woo.
Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.
When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoop is the show to know.
She talks Hollywood tales, her real life, Mr. Safe and Serial Data, and Serial Sister.
You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast.
Listen in, listen up, woo woo.
Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.
When you're on the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoop is the show to know.
She talks Hollywood tales, her real life, Mr. Safe and Serial Data, and Serial Sister.
You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast.
Listen in, listen up, woo woo.
Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.
Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.
Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.
Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.
Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.
Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.
Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.
Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop.
Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop. Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop. Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop. Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop. Heather McDonald has got the Juicy Scoop. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast.
Listen in, listen up.
Woo woo.
Hannah McDonald.
Juicy Scoop.
Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop.
I have your two favorite funny ladies,
the dynamic duo, the hosts of Dumb Gay Podcast.
It's Brandi and Julie.
Welcome back to Juicy Scoop, girls.
Oh my God, as always. Wow. There are some very exciting news we are going to announce
right now. It's the Heather McDonald Juicy Scoop Experience Tour. These dates are up.
Now listen, you got if you're part of Patreon, HeatherMcDonald.net, there is a code and you
can buy the tickets today.
If not, all of these tickets will be available to the public this Friday.
So get them, only go to HeatherMcDonald.net.
If you Google Heather McDonald in Dallas or whatever, you're going to find tickets for
twice the price.
Please do what I say, go to heatherbrintallin.net.
I'm very excited because Brandi and Julie will be joining me on several of these dates.
The first one coming up, which we will be at, is Phoenix, May 3rd.
Denver, we're going to be at May 17th and 18th.
I've got Temecula with Chris Ferrangola.
Tampa, Orlando, San Diego.
Julie will be joining me out by the sea July 27th at Humphreys by the Bay.
So many dates.
I also want to announce big news in the Bravo world.
There will be no BravoCon this year.
It's coming back November 25th.
Oh, Heather, I was hoping to come to Vegas in September.
It's such a beautiful time of year.
It's my sister's birthday, stop it.
It's my bachelorette.
Well, no problem because I too will be there.
Wait, Las Vegas, September 21 this year
at the beautiful theater we were at last year,
Venetian, best hotel
to stay at, such great sized rooms, all the great shopping, the eating, and Brandi and
Julie and I will all be there September 21st this year.
So we're going to have our own JuicyCon happening, laughing, talking shit, exclusive, intimate.
Get on it, get your rooms, have your fun, your kids will be back in school
and you'll be sick of all the school bullshit
and you'll be like, take me to Vegas
with Heather Brandy and Julie.
JuicyCon.
JuicyCon.
JuicyCon this year to hold you over till next year.
Also very exciting news, Julie has a special.
I wanna say about your dates.
Yes.
We do see like a lot of, you know, comics
that stay in one region.
I think it's really cool that you're all over the country.
Oh, thank you, girls.
And I think that's like,
everybody can get a chance to see you
if they need to drive.
Honestly, it's not like you're just like,
I'm only on the West Coast.
I have a Saratoga with Chris,
Saratoga, California with Chris in August and then three dates,
Dallas Houston and Austin in August as well in Texas.
Then after Vegas, I have all these, since you asked, Philadelphia, Ridgefield, Boston, where Julie
will be with me at the Wilbur Theater, Red Bank, New Jersey, cutest, cutest town ever,
New York, I'll be in New York at the Palladium, Washington DC, Minneapolis, and Chicago at the Vic. But anyway, they're
all at heathermcdowelland.net. Get them. If you're part of Patreon, you can buy right
now. If not, wait till Friday with the rest of the people that are not part of Patreon.
So there won't be as many. Great. Also, part of Patreon this Friday, I'll have even more
details about my incredible experience with Britney Spears.
But first, let me just talk about that our girl Julie
has an incredible standup special.
Well, I mean, it's one.
Explain what it is.
It's a world of wonder plus.
Which is a great production company.
They do Drag Race and so many other great things.
And they produced this special.
So they were doing, they basically did House of Laughs, which is like a queer
comedy, you know, like a live at Gotham or whatever.
Yeah.
Like with all, it was drag queens and gays and.
But let's just focus on that you're part of it.
Yeah.
Okay.
So Julie is.
I got to do my one thing.
Yes.
And so you're going to get to enjoy Julie's comedy there and then see her
life often in many cities this year with me.
That's right. Thank you for that.
So my story continues. TMZ did not pick a very cute photo of me, but who cares? I'm funny.
I think it looks great.
Thank you. And Brittany, I didn't know what was going on because Brittany, after she posted
this great video that she took of me doing Drew Barrymore interviewing her back
in December, her whole Instagram just disappeared. I didn't know why. I didn't know if a lot
of people were telling her stuff. I don't know if it was a mistake. But after I think
she listened to Juicy Scoop and heard the story that I had a pleasant experience and
I thought she and it was fun and these different news pleasant experience and I thought it was fun,
and these different news sources picked it up,
it popped back up again.
Absolutely amazing.
So you can enjoy her Instagram again with my video.
And congratulations to Drew Barrymore.
Yes, thank you.
Who not only got the interview of the century,
but also I saw that you have a full magazine.
Oh yes, I have the cover of my own magazine, call me Oprah Light. No offense, I love you
any size. But. What was it like interviewing Britney?
Well first of all, I love Heather MacDonald. A lot of people do me, but obviously she was the first.
And what it's, I hope this does get Brittany
to come and be with me on my talk show.
And I've got Ross Matthews,
who also is best friends with Heather.
So I think the four of us just hang out.
Yes, we should.
Yes, we should.
You absolutely should.
Now that would be a show.
That would be fun.
If Drew Barrymore was smart,
she'd have you and Britt and Ross and her on the couch no shoes cross-legged
each other's
super close
Hair hair just touching I will wear culottes and a vest
And yes underneath which I definitely need boots underneath culottes. Otherwise, it shows my tiny ankles
underneath, which I definitely need boots underneath culottes, otherwise it shows my tiny ankles.
But with like a nice brown boot,
I can borrow them from Britney,
then I can have my full outfit going.
And I hope it all happens.
I thought she deleted the Instagram.
One, I thought possibly by accident.
Possibly by accident.
Two, maybe because of the name change,
which the world wasn't ready for, which was Zyla, Mia, Seyde.
Wait, is she not River Red anymore?
It's Zyla, River Red, whatever.
So I was like, okay, maybe nobody was ready
for the name change.
And then she was like, you know what?
I have this wonderful Drew Barrymore impersonator
and I cannot let this die.
I must bring this back.
I thought it was an accident
because within 24 hours it was back.
Yes, and she's done this before.
It's disappeared.
It has, you know, she's taken things out.
I can tell you Julie's accidentally deleted
her entire Instagram many times.
And when you do that, you are able to get all of it back
because there was a time where people would lose it all.
I remember one time Charlie Sheen
got either rid of Twitter or something
and had like 800,000 followers, which is huge,
this was like 10 years ago, and he removed it.
And then there was no way to get those followers back.
But now there must be a way,
especially if you're Britney Spears.
Yeah, they have like a fail safe kind of,
like when you exit out of a-
They give you six weeks.
They're like, if you really want this gone,
don't touch this for six weeks. And who could even do that? You can just accidentally. They're like, if you really want this gone, don't touch this for six weeks.
And who could even do that?
You can just accidentally be looking up like,
Froyo, and now you've gone onto your Instagram
and it's re, they make you not touch it
for six weeks, Facebook and Instagram, to really delete it.
Okay, good to know.
So also, okay, talked about my daily news.
It was a big day for Heather McDonald.
Here's the video.
And then also our girl Lala revealed
she's having another girl.
And I knew that a long time ago.
So once again, guess what?
I can keep a secret.
And I wrote that.
Another secret I kept.
I'm so happy for you and your family, Lala.
Hashtag sisters. sisters, hashtag best uncle ever
because Easton cut the cake.
And I got like 1900 likes, so people know.
And Logan, our friend Logan, was like best secret keeper.
Never guess.
It's true.
Best secret keeper.
Shout out Logan.
So, but you know what I liked about this?
It was, you know, and people have said this
when they've seen me go to like Ocean's birthday parties
and stuff, they're like, oh, it's just a cute party.
It's still very nice, but it's not this
over the top Hollywood thing.
Lala doesn't really do that.
And this was very nice.
She didn't start a wildfire.
Right.
She didn't have planes going over.
Ocean set off a thing and set a whole like,
like a hate ride on the fire. Like two Top Gun planes didn't ride planes going over off a thing and set a whole like, like hate ride on fire.
Like two Top Gun planes didn't ride through the party
spewing pink or blue.
Yeah, she didn't set the valley on fire.
You know, she didn't start a flood.
There wasn't a circus.
Yeah, she didn't build the LA river with pink or blue.
No, she just had a beautiful cake.
Her brother Easton cut it.
They were all surprised. She thought she was had a beautiful cake. Her brother Easton cut it. They were all surprised.
She thought she was having a boy.
She had showed me the ultrasound and she's like, what do you think?
And I'm like, well, boy or girl, this child has like an extremely good profile.
All that matters.
But the profile looks like ocean.
So anyway, it's a girl.
It's a girl and I think that's so great.
Sisters and everything.
I do wanna ask you as someone with two,
well you have a daughter, but you also have two boys.
When Paris Hilton was doing her IVF journey,
she got all these eggs, all these eggs, all these eggs,
and they were all boys.
And she kept having to do it to try to find a girl.
So then we have a listener on our Patreon named Craig.
Shout out Craig, he has five daughters.
It's kind of like a thing where people have,
like do you think if you were to do IVF,
they would, the majority would have come out boys?
Well, no, I don't.
Okay, so what I think is kind of interesting is,
so Peter's cousin is
a fertility doctor specialist, wrote books, everything. And they call it family balancing.
When somebody comes and he's I think he's semi retired, but when somebody and he was
the one that was successful in getting Shannon to get pregnant with her first son, Matthew.
And then after that 39, after all the IVs, seven nations,
she got natural pregnant with her daughter.
So, but they call it family balancing
because they at least would say,
you gotta have two already.
Just morally, that's what he told me.
Morally, he didn't want cultures to come
and be like, we only want a boy or a girl.
So a family came and they wanted family balancing, meaning we have two girls or we have two boys.
Now we'd like to spin the sperm and only do insemination or in vitro with the boy or girl
sperm.
Then that was something that they were okay with.
And so when growing up,
there'd be these big Catholic families and someone would have seven girls or
seven boys and they would keep trying and trying.
And that is because probably if they back then could spin the man's sperm,
they would find that he had only girl sperm or 99% girls sperm, 99% boy.
But I always thought those families were extra special.
Me too.
I think it's like it makes it's like meant to be.
Like Teresa.
Yeah.
And so right those all those girls.
I love that.
Yeah, all the girls.
And then so I went out with my East Coast cousins and this was my dad's sister's kids.
And she didn't start having she didn't get married till 34.
And she had five kids naturally into her 40s.
And she wanted her girl, and her girl was her fifth.
And we were talking about it with the male cousin,
and he's like, yeah, I mean, imagine how your whole life
know that the minute you were number three
and number four boy, she was just like pissed,
and had no qualms about saying it. And even
my mom would be like, oh, Aunt Claire would just pray and pray for that girlfriend. And
then they'd go and say, oh, Mrs. Kerry, it's another boy. And I'm like, oh my god. And
then we were talking about it at breakfast. We're like, how inappropriate that like we
knew all this. And then I knew that like Shannon and I were like massive mistakes. And my dad
had to go to San Diego because he found a priest that would bless a vasectomy
which was against the church.
I'm like, why do I know this at six years old?
Like why?
So weird.
But yes, she wasn't trying for either sex,
I don't believe, just to get pregnant.
Lala, so I think it's great.
If you were doing it and you were continuing
to get boys and boys and boys,
after having Drake and Brandon,
would you just be like, you know what?
I'm just doing boys then.
I totally feel like the fact that my stepdaughter
is the only girl was totally meant to be from God.
Like I think, you know, of course,
when I was pregnant with Brandon,
there was a moment that I was like,
oh, I have a boy at home.
Let's just see if this is a girl too.
But within seconds, I was like, you know what, this is totally home. Let's just see if this is a girl too. But within seconds, I was like,
you know what, this is totally meant to be,
because I knew I wasn't gonna most likely
have any more after him.
And I was like, I have my only girl,
and now I have my boy.
So I feel like, but I understand when people want to,
but I just think in this world of like gender fluidity,
you really shouldn't be thinking
that your boy is gonna be head of the baseball team
and your daughter's gonna be the homecoming queen.
Like just.
That's true, my parents have two daughters.
Know what I mean?
Tell Heather the story again.
Many years ago, I had a big family Passover gathering.
Yes.
All my siblings were there, the cousins,
extended family, everyone was there.
And this cousin came over, I was sitting with my dad,
my brother, and my sister.
And I think someone else.
And the guy came over, was like, oh,
and my dad's name is, and me, and I'm there.
How old are you?
I mean, I'm-
Does it matter?
She could be from 16 to now.
It's literally an adult.
Okay, oh, you're an adult, right?
She's, yeah, yeah, like, this is like 10 years ago.
Okay, got it, got it.
So we're sitting there and he comes over
and my dad was sitting at the head of the couch
with all of us, the guy sits down
and he's like, hello, Leon, how are you?
And he looks at us and there's a Julie
and the guy goes, oh, Leon, I thought you only had one son.
And then we just, and there was no.
And we laughed. there was no.
And we laughed. There was no.
We laughed.
Just what do you do?
And then we, and there was also no convincing him.
Was like.
Like you were a girl?
Yeah, he was like, well, I don't,
I have one son and two daughters.
And it was like, well, where's the two daughters?
Like he couldn't function.
And then it was the whole thing was spent
and he would then I would have to talk to him
and he would come over and be like,
so and it just became like this thing.
But that is a a Passover memory we always have.
Oh, and no, a fun one.
I thought you had.
A fun one, I'm sure for you.
Right, so that means, so yeah,
if you have daughters, just know
there's always a possibility.
And sons, yeah.
But I often think, like,
because like with normal daughters and fathers,
there's a special relationship.
And I always think to myself,
just like dad, look at me and go, there's my daughter.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, I can't explain it.
But he was scared of you ever having sex
and losing your virginity.
Yeah, was he scared men would come over and you don't think he was scared? I don't think it. But he was scared of you ever having sex and losing your virginity. Yeah, was he scared men would come over?
And you don't think he was scared?
I don't think so, no.
I don't.
And I don't think he ever, I just never.
You don't think when he heard a country song about,
stay away from my daughter, I've got my gun,
he wasn't totally relating?
Okay.
No, none of it.
Or just like, no, no.
Heather, was your dad like that?
My dad was just like, you know,
this is probably why some people hate me
is because I had parents that just told me
I was incredible and gorgeous and fabulous.
And like, why are you not a model?
And I'm like, I don't know, not.
Why am I not a model?
Like, I didn't be like, there she is, Miss America.
Like all that kind of stuff.
And like, I just walked around,
like why am I not getting a modeling contract?
But was he protective, like don't come try and get-
Nobody was coming either.
I didn't get asked to one dance
throughout my entire high school career.
Even though you got driven around
in Jason Bateman's limo.
Exactly, nothing, nobody asked me.
There was one boy I liked and I was kissing him
like on the bleachers and homecoming was coming.
We were talking on the phone and Pat Malcolm,
okay don't want to ruin your marriage.
But anyway, and then I was like,
okay, I'm finally gonna get have kind of a boyfriend
to take me to the Crespi homecoming.
So anyway, found out that something happened.
He either took the car out and he didn't have a full license
or he had a license and he wasn't supposed to drive that week.
And so his punishment was he was grounded.
And what I did think at that moment was like,
who is this boy mom bitch that is
going, does she realize how her parenting is affecting another female? And of course
she was a great mom, that was the right thing to do. And I was always like, I wonder if
I'll ever be like that, you know, like, would you ground the boys not let them go homecoming? Absolutely not. I'd be thrilled if anybody had any kind of girlfriend or anything. And
I would never, ever take that away from them.
And now how much does he regret that? He's like, I could have had Heather McDonald's
at my homecoming pick.
Well, actually, his brother's son, I know the brother, they're still in the community
and they're cool and great. And yeah, but he went on. We were both happily married.
Stay away! You had your chance.
Stop sniffing around, Pat. God. All right, it's enough. Jesus.
Yes, I never, that was the only chance. And nobody ever asked me to anything else after that.
And then once I got to college, like I had some fun.
But again, walking around and then, oh,
and then when I tried on my prom dress, it was at Nordstrom.
And it was very expensive at the time.
It was like well over $420, which was nobody's dress was over 100.
So you could imagine that's like maybe a dress for like 1,100 today in scale of thing.
You wouldn't spend 1,100 on your daughter's prom dress.
But when I put it on, the people at Nordstrom at the time,
were so good.
I don't wanna say at the time,
cause I don't know what's going on with Nordstrom right now.
But anyway, at the time, though shout out to Ellen.
Ellen is a great girl.
She's been working, she gets me my good clothes
at Nordstrom.
Anyway, so I came out and they
said, oh, is that for the Miss California pageant?
Oh. And my mom was like, okay, we'll get it. We will get it. And it was this peach crepe
like kind of dynasty but spaghetti strap. And then the zipper didn't go up. We were able to get it up with soap,
but therefore it was fucked up. So even though I wore it, I was able to return it after the
prom.
Oh, you're like, this is broken?
And get the 425 back. Yeah. I almost had to wear like another dress that night. And then
we were able to get it up, but then also able to return it. So it was a win-win for everybody.
But let's talk about some hot topics.
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Okay. Are you watching Vanderpump and the Valley?
We're watching the Valley.
So the Valley is... it is really good.
It's good.
It's good.
It is good.
It's good, it's good, it's good.
It's like really, really good.
It is the most honest portrayal
of today's type of conversations,
what happens in a marriage when you have kids, struggling.
Like they are not, nothing seems fake or fabricated or anything.
And yeah, everyone thought it was gonna be like not good.
Who are these new people?
New people are really interesting.
They have flaws and everything,
but like the counseling session with Melissa
and the realtor husband was really good.
The everything going on with Jax and Brittany, now we know they're separated.
She's gone on interviews and said, I'm, we're in an Airbnb, she and their son.
And she said he didn't let us have the house.
Well, maybe because he was like, I don't want you to leave, right?
So I'm not going to leave.
If you really feel like you're going to leave gonna leave then okay go get an Airbnb to the street
So, I don't know but he they reveal like and she revealed too
They only had sex two times in like a year leading up to this latest separation
But the other couple said we haven't had it for three years and now they're separated
So you got a bone you got to just, you got to just,
and so many times this happens in a marriage, even the best marriages, and I've talked to my
girlfriends and they're like, and then we just did it and we're like, why don't we do this more?
It does. It's something, there's some couples that it never goes away, but for a lot of people,
it does, you do have dips and And you really have to work on it.
And you really have to go,
and you don't wanna be that person that's like,
oh my God, it's been three weeks, it's been a month.
But you kinda have to.
I feel like the first two episodes, which were genius,
like the episode this week,
one, I was really wanting the conversation with I love babies, I love seeing them on TV
because you don't have to take care of them. You can watch other people doing it. And they're so
cute and you can see how hard it is, the reality of how much time it takes and how exhausting it is.
And I love, love, love in this recent episode that it was so family heavy. I think the thing with discussing the challenges
of marriage, especially after so many years,
can be very disenchanting to people who watch Bravo,
even people who've been married for 30 years,
want to see the Tom and Ariana who are presenting an idea that everything is perfect.
I don't personally know, even though watching it was tough
and painful and hard to watch, it was like,
wow, this is intense, man.
Like, I don't want to think that Brittany and Jax
went through this, but I was still like,
oh my God, this is so good.
This seems so real, which is so different for Bravo.
And also, so many people lie about the amount of sex
they have.
And on Summer House, Carl and Lindsay,
who are the stars of the show, who are friends at first
and fell in love, got engaged.
They're now broken.
They're engaged.
We're seeing the demise of the relationship happen on that.
They have this moment where she's talking to Paige.
And Paige is like,
you know, all the friends are like, kind of like, I don't think this couple should get
married either. And Paige says, well, something like, how often do you have sex? And she's
like, um, and it's, you know, like never. And even Paige goes, you know, people exaggerate
that they have it more than they do. So if she's saying once a month or something, then you know it's probably once every, who knows when.
And I would always say, like, if you have to go
to marriage counseling and all that before you get married,
please don't get married.
Please don't get married.
Like, you should not be having issues before you get married.
It's not meant to be.
It will only get worse.
And so I love that they're so honest about it.
Well, maybe if more people talk about the reality
of relationships and sexuality as it, you know what?
It's like three times a day sometimes,
like four times, sometimes 17 times a day.
Like, that's crazy.
Like, Larsa, yeah, Larsa.
Yeah, and they're broken up.
Larsa's like, I had it four times with...
Scottie Pippen.
Scottie Pippen, and now five times with this one, and he's like, with his glasses, Marcus
Dork.
I'm glad he's gone.
But she wasn't having, you know, like, shut up.
And I always feel like Teresa would do that too, with Juicy Jo.
Yes, right.
Overly exaggerate how hot and sexy they were, and then we see him in the vineyard being on my bitch
Wife is coming over. She's like let's have sex. I think she was acting too for the cameras. Yeah, you know
Yeah, well, maybe maybe it's the start of people not feeling diminished because they don't have sex in this weird porn
World that everyone seems to be living in a fantasy, like once a month or once every couple months
is not something to be ashamed of.
Also, you should be so fucking lucky.
And it didn't come out in a fucking, if I may, game
at a dinner.
Oh, yes, a set up dinner party.
Like, okay, yeah, no, it came out in like real talk.
Who here loves swallowing?
Who?
Who does it?
And then Robin's like, and then they're like, Robin, you know what I just realized?
Why are you even asking?
No, remember the Jackie Gold?
Schneider.
Schneider.
She was the one that she never wanted to swallow.
Now it makes sense, she's, and it was interesting.
That's right.
I'm not even trying to make a joke,
but it totally makes sense.
They made such a big deal that she never gave blowjobs.
The girl also didn't have ice cream.
She didn't want anything in her mouth.
What's melted ice cream?
Come.
Exactly.
Wait a minute.
Now, now, maybe.
Julie wants it now.
I love ice cream.
Why would you do this to me Heather?
Wait a minute.
Vanilla.
And I love chocolate chip.
Yeah.
Fuck.
But it's so, it usually comes out in a question of, you know, I'm not going to be able to
eat it.
I'm not going to be able to eat it.
I'm not going to be able to eat it. I'm not going to be able to eat it. I'm not going to be able to eat it. I'm not going to be able to eat it. I'm not going to be able to eat it. Give me another, wait a minute, vanilla. And I love chocolate chip. Yeah.
Fuck.
But it's so, it usually comes out in a question
that's mired in shame.
Shame.
That everyone lies, like no, I'm sexual.
Right, yeah.
And you know, even in the Capote show,
memorize like you're no longer a sexual piece.
When Capote's like, oh, you're past your prime, dear,
nobody wants to fuck you.
Let's go to lunch.
I'm like, why are these women still eating lunch
with this mean little twerp?
Telling them that their vaginas have dried up
because they had a 40th birthday party.
He's paying hookers in a Turkish bath to suck their dicks.
The Truman Capote.
Yes, right, exactly.
So excuse him.
Well, that show is good.
It is good.
Anyway, I don't know what's gonna happen with them.
We are friends with Jax, and I think the show is very good.
And then also they get into the whole political and the, and I really saw how that conversation
happened where there was a conversation that happened off camera.
Three of the characters discussed it or shared it, that one of them
asked about a particular bill that could be interpreted as anti-gay. And then they went
on to say, oh, she must be this and this and this. And she was an accuser of being racist.
She's like this. And she knows, even though she's new to the show, she's like, I know
what this can do to have this on TV forever,
that Kristen said it on camera, that I'm a racist.
I'm first generation Mexican and Persian,
her parents were.
She's a realtor.
She's like, no, and she even said, she goes,
this isn't my whole life.
I'm on the show for a hot minute.
This show may go away and this is gonna last forever.
We need to clear this up. And I thought that was really, honestly,
really well done and really real,
how this shit can, like, wildfire,
and then someone thinks something of you.
You know? That's true.
And a bill about LGBTQ then somehow...
Got her to be racist.
...turned into being racist.
Yeah, I do wish that they would have spearheaded...
Like, I think it would have...
I think they all just got too scared,
and then it turned into a thing of, like, you and that and she's having calling and that having to deal with that is
Horrific, but also is however
I do want to say that I do wish that they would have had the balls all of them to
Pointedly say like the gay guy to be like I was upset because I felt you were against LGBTQ rights
That's why I was upset. We talked shit about you. And then she could be like, that's not true.
That's not what it was.
I had, here's my feeling.
I didn't know what it was and I don't understand XYZ.
And then he could have said, here's what the bill meant.
And they could have had like a serious,
we all could have had like a real come to Jesus
or a learning moment, but they were too scared.
And that was unfortunate.
Right. And I also feel like,
talking about something that you see a glimpse here and you just have a conversation about,
is not that this girl was spearheading a charity event
for it and doing videos about whatever.
She just was like, oh, if the conversation would happen.
Brought up the conversation.
Yeah, she was just like, oh, what is that?
Okay, and then they were like, that was kind of weird. And, she was just like, oh, what is that? Da da da, okay.
And then they were like, now it's kind of weird.
And then what was also interesting is that then
Kristen writes her and goes, we're all good,
your secrets are safe with me.
And she's like, no, what's the fucking,
talk about a blackmail moment.
Like, what are you trying to say?
Like what kind of secrets do you have on me?
Like when we got a smoothie and they turned the iPad around
and it said 35, 45, and 50% tip, I only gave 35%.
Right.
What do you have on me?
Right.
What is it?
I also thought it was a cool glimpse into, rather than
people, let's say, take like Monica from Salt Lake City,
who came in, had the troll page,
Dita Von T, what was it called?
Dita, Reality Von T.
And then she was so versed in reality TV.
She came in hot.
I loved seeing these people who were like,
do do do, this is fun, here's our babies.
And all of a sudden it's like,
they're bringing up a conversation from six months ago,
and now you're racist.
You're like, wait, that wasn't even,
we didn't even talk about that in the show.
Literally nothing is off limits.
You will be slandered to death.
She's there like, oh my God,
why are we discussing one dinner six months ago
for five minutes?
And she just, it was really seeing how seasoned reality
stars will weaponize,
I mean, for lack of a better word, that's so overused,
but like one thing, and that girl, you know,
was her name Michelle?
Yeah, and-
She wasn't even there.
And what I also kinda like is the next day,
Michelle and her husband, who have a daughter
who have had trouble and said they like,
haven't been romantic or attracted to each other for years,
they have this moment where they have each other's back
and they're kind of laughing.
And I think that's kind of a real thing in marriage too,
when you feel like someone's attacking your kingdom.
Sometimes that does, is the thing to bring you together,
to be like, oh, no, no, no, you don't fuck with my wife.
We might not be on 10%, you know, 100% right now,
but like, and they have this moment.
So I thought that, yeah, I think it's great.
So really good show.
And anyway, then Vanderpump watched some of that.
It's just kind of the same of like, what is going on.
I went on Lala's podcast and I heard a lot about it
in that she reveals that, you know,
we're gonna see some really, I guess, shocking stuff on the
final episode and the reunion. And that is why Lala's like, no, you know, nobody
had my back. We all felt this. And what I think might be, it might be, is that
this is their job to be on this show. And I believe, and I didn't even talk about
with Lala with this because she's like and I didn't even talk about with Lala
with this because she's like,
I can't tell you what happens, da-da-da,
and she has not.
I think there is gonna be a moment where,
even though Ariana is, let's give Ariana props
for going to the beach,
going to these places where Tom is present.
So she is doing her job,
because the thing that these housewives and people hate
is they eventually treat this job
like they're at a factory and they're like,
Dorinda didn't punch in today.
And they get mad, like, why didn't she have to come
to the boring thing, whatever.
But I feel like she's coming to all this stuff,
but I think there might be a moment coming up
where they feel like she is not being as participatory
as she should to make the show that benefits them all.
Right, which is a classic thing.
It's kind of like on Potomac,
where Giselle and Candice wouldn't even speak.
So you're kind of showing scenes
of two different groups of people,
no one's speaking and we're like, let's get it together.
And once people start isolating and icing someone out,
yeah, you're not participating.
And I guess New Jersey is literally two different shows.
Yeah.
Because apparently Melissa and Teresa
are never in the same room the entire season.
I don't know if that'll be the juiciest of the seasons
or if it'll feel like it's missing something,
but that is the fact and that's out there.
And I wonder if that will be a precedent moving forward
because we've all worked on reality shows.
When somebody's on an island as they call it,
like Candice, now Candice and Potomac is off the show.
Right, she's just left.
Yeah, and that reunion is airing now.
Because she had been on an island.
Once you're on an island and no one will film with you,
you're kind of screwed.
In this case in New Jersey,
they broke off into factions.
Yeah.
You know, and so now they're filming two different shows.
They're in different boroughs, I guess.
Yeah.
Is that how it works?
Or different areas?
Yeah.
I guess like one's in Franklin Lakes.
Yeah.
Maybe they redefine where it becomes like Big Brother.
It's like one side of the house
against the other side of the house who will be voted off.
And that could be strong.
I mean.
I'm looking forward to it.
I'm really looking forward to it.
I will definitely watch New Jersey.
That's coming in like a week or two, I think.
OK, speaking of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,
Kyle has said that she is friends with Halaria Baldwin.
How do you say cucumber?
And Halaria has been allegedly talking
to producers of Beverly Hills.
She would move her seven bambinos to Beverly Hills
to be part of that show.
And people are speculating they could see
why that would be the case.
Her husband is still facing charges
for the horrible tragedy on set.
And they're not going to have their own reality show.
And she's pretty and young.
And she's intriguing.
Now, I mean, I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna put this on my prayer list.
Okay.
I really, really want this.
I really want this and I want her to be like,
so yeah, you know what,
I just really identified with being Spanish.
And the truth is out, yes, I went to a school in how do you say Boston, but I, you know, I just really identified with being Spanish and the truth is out. Yes
I went to a school in how do you say Boston? But I you know, I'm good
I'm I I you know, my parents had a house in in Spain one summer and after that
I just identified as a Spaniard and
Alec never asked. I definitely don't think Alec ever asked
I definitely don't think Alec ever asked. Hey, when did you go to high school?
He still doesn't know.
He's still doing like funny interviews where he's like,
my wife is Spanish.
And they're like, oh, do that funny.
She basically just did Sofia Vergara.
Yeah.
100%.
So I don't care if she comes back and the accent is gone.
I think that'd be fun with Dorit.
They could have dueling, because Dorit's accent
goes in and out now.
Very weird.
You know, she's like, okay, darling, um,
Phoenix and Jagger mind you need some cheese sticks. Um,
can I have glam here tomorrow? You're like, what is going on?
Doreen? Like, like, so I, I really want this to happen.
Crystal cannot be gone if this happens because Crystal's not going anywhere.
Crystal will be going in. It won't matter.
Oh yeah, she is like, how dare you.
Oh, she'll be calling her to the mat about it.
Like, I don't care if this was three years ago,
we have the receipts from today's show.
We couldn't do avocado.
Having a Spanish accent isn't a language.
Garcelle, who actually isn't an immigrant,
she came from Haiti.
Where did she come from?
Yeah, Haiti, right?
Haiti, but she'll just be like,
huh, she'll just laugh at her confessional.
She'll like,
and then Eric Haddad will be like,
so apparently I'm the fraud still.
Really? Really?
I never stepped.
I stepped foot in that law firm once.
And this girl's walking around making flan
and we're supposed to believe it's authentic.
Like, I just cannot.
Please.
Please.
I'm going to make a prayer list myself.
Oh, God. Seriously.
We're going to go do a rosary after this.
And that picture of Kyle looks like someone from TikTok.
It's just gorgeous.
So that's a perfect picture of Kyle.
Oh, and then Rihanna, I guess, did some interview.
And they came up, and they're like, Rihanna says, she thinks that Kyle and Morgan are a couple. I'm like, and then Rihanna, I guess, did some interview. And they came up and they're like, Rihanna says,
she thinks that Kyle and Morgan are a couple.
I'm like, hi, Rihanna, late to the party.
Thanks for the revelation.
They've been doing the Lickety Splits
since January of 2022 or whatever.
Since I slid into those DMs, I don't know.
She slid into mine.
Yeah, like, of course.
Whatever. Of course. Yeah.
So, okay, do you know about this?
This is Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee Simmons' daughter.
She's 21, Ioki.
Remember her?
Remember that show that Kimora had?
Of course.
She had the two little girls that were modeling the fat,
whatever it was called, big fat clothes or whatever.
We loved that show.
Kamorra Lee Simmons is like,
she is a boss that has zero problems being like,
I have an entourage of 12 people,
I don't even know their last names, let's go.
She's great.
Like I like literally like look up to her.
That was like the height of like E.
So that was like 15 years ago
and it was just her with assistants and like planning fashion shows. And I think there's another little
girl anyway, this one, she's 20. She graduated from Harvard. No, she's 21. And she graduated
early at 20. She went to St. Barts and she met this guy, Vittoria, Vittoria O. Asif.
He's 65.
He, he's an, like a restaurateur.
And they met there.
They didn't know each other before.
They were kissing on the beaches of St. Barts.
Oh wow.
And it's over now.
They broke up.
Oh, probably so invested in their love story, Heather.
Everyone's like, oh my God, 44 year age difference.
Like what is going on? Her parents God, 44 year age difference. Like what is going on?
Her parents are an 18 year age difference,
Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons.
And you know, there's weird stories about Russell.
So you always kind of wonder what they've done.
Isn't he like out in Bali or something?
Like just doing yoga and like,
yeah, just like not being able to be in America.
AKA hiding.
Yeah.
Yes. There is something weird going on.
And there's been a lot of weird stories about
him and weird stories about how I believe when they met she was maybe not even 18 yet.
Kamar-Lee was a model.
But anyway, hopefully, girl, you got that bag.
You went shopping and you got that bag.
I hope you got that bag.
I hope she got some jewelry.
I hope she got whatever.
But also, she is smart.
So who knows if they even had sex?
She might have kissed him, gotten table service
for her friends, gotten some, went shopping with him,
and then was like, bye.
But then she did an Instagram account where she's like,
I'm espresso depresso.
Clever.
That's a $200,000 Harvard education rhyming. But no, she's a model,
you know, core social media person. And I don't know, God is talking about her. I never
knew she was a model. I never knew she graduated.
We never knew she was older than eight yet.
I thought she was still four. So it's like, go do something like this. You probably just
saw it. Like, not that it was maybe it was planned. Maybe it wasn't, but kind of like this. You probably just saw it. And like, not that it was, maybe it was planned,
maybe it wasn't, but kind of genius.
So maybe she is really smart.
Also, maybe she has legitimate daddy, like attraction.
Like some girls.
Or grandpa.
Yeah, grandpa, do like that.
And they think it's hot.
And I mean, she's so pretty.
She's, I mean, I'm just like,
maybe she thinks that guy's sexy.
Like giving like Mary Kate and that guy. Right. Who was, I mean, I'm just like, maybe she thinks that guy's sexy,
like giving like Mary-Kate and that guy.
Right.
Who was, I mean, he was not only rich,
but he was, you know, he was French,
he was filthy, he was smoking the cigarettes.
Maybe they just think like, oh, boy's my age,
or they're just so like, pedestrian.
I don't know.
I mean, we got kinks.
All of our kinks are okay.
And like, I know when girls do screw, like kind of either a really ugly older rich guy or
all three rolled in one, they kind of get you can get in your head and just like, I'm
a gross dirty girl.
I don't like a fan.
I don't know.
Yeah.
So whatever, that's done.
The latest on the Morgan Wallen story.
So he's a country singer and
He was at a hockey talk bar in Nashville and he threw a chair off of the balcony
He could face up to six years, but he he was arrested but you know, everybody's like that's not gonna happen
Nobody was hurt. He has an on-and-off girlfriend who had a child with and people thought she just announced
She was engaged and then the next day was like actually were
Married and then the chair went flying off the balcony
So people thought is it did is that what he heard and she has said no, you know
Hopefully he'll be fine
She's not disparaging him at all
Even though she has a new husband other people like no he found another man's gonna be raising his son and he threw off the chair
Who knows why I threw off the chair.
Who knows why he threw off the chair?
He's gotten in trouble before,
but that was just a little update.
Why is everyone in country music named Morgan?
It's like, I'll see him in the charts and be like,
wait, is that Kyle's girlfriend?
And then I'll have to go look and be like,
oh no, it's a different Morgan.
There's 50,000 Morgan's.
They should go on tour together.
Yeah, I'm gonna make you love me.
Now I didn't throw any chairs off of anything, you know, and and my lady likes to shop at restoration hardware
So that would be a big heavy chair for me to throw even for me and I like to work out
We like to take walks together. She and Kyle. Yeah the Morgan tour. I'm here for it. Yeah
Okay, here's your girl Jojo see you on now. I'm here for it. Yeah. Okay. Here's your girl
Jojo see you on now. I was very nice and speaking about her. I said again
You weren't the first person that dressed up like kiss. I did it in 1975 for Halloween. However
She did get her teeth done for 50 grand. That's a new story that came out
What are you guys thinking? The song is in my head.
The song is okay.
Karma's a bitch.
Remember.
And I like her scratchy voice.
I like it, but we have always known this about her.
Let's talk, girls.
What is your opinion of JoJo?
Can I just request we come out on stage
whenever the next, which is fanandix, we gotta do Karma.
Yes, you guys can come out to Karma as a bitch, 100%.
Because Karma 24 has been our thing.
And it has really worked out for us.
Yeah, and Julie calls the song Karma 24.
She's like, can you believe she made a song Karma 24?
I'm like, well, that's not the name of it,
but it is, you know, we did a deep dive on our Patreon and tell us what you think.
Okay, as a brother, sister, Les,
as an older Les to the JoJo, okay?
I just wanna put out, on the positive side,
I wanna say this, I think it's great that she came out.
I think it's nothing but a positive message.
I think it's important.
I like that it's the confidence of being out and doing whatever and showing her with girls and all
of that is great.
Okay. With that said, I think she is an insufferable narcissist. And I think that she thinks that
the world and the sun and the universe revolves around her and it is so annoying and it is
such a bad look. And even Buzzfeed today did an article saying
that she came off looking terrible in the latest interview
because she said that she wanted to create the very first,
as if it's never happened with her new song Karma 24,
a new genre called gay pop or pop gay or whatever.
Gay pop, I think it is.
Right, and then the internet went, bitch, what?
Yeah. Like, what? She's so, I mean, is. Right, and the world, and then the internet went, bitch, what? Yeah.
Like, what?
She, she's so, I mean, talk about, she's...
Right, and everybody's saying, and then she also said,
nobody's made a transition like this.
And I saw that people did from Ellen,
before Ellen came out, to Elton John, to...
I mean, are you kidding?
All these people, once they came out and they're trans,
so she's trying to say she was...
Even Raven Simone.
Yeah, I mean, let's show mean, who's a child and then became
Les in short hair and energy.
And also the mute gay, like Queen, Freddie Mercury,
Sylvester from the 70s, disco, everything that was there.
Studio 54, Bowie, he's not even gay and he's gay.
I mean, she's.
And also, and you took a weird kiss.
You made yourself a fifth character.
What is that?
Right, yes.
And of a very masculine, like could there And also, and you took a weird kiss. You made yourself a fifth character. What is that? Also, right, yes.
And of a very masculine, like could there be more
of a misogynistic man than Gene Simmons?
So that's like a weird thing to channel.
So then there's that, which is even watching that,
where it's like now you're doing a thing
where you're like predatory and you're acting like a guy.
Oh, with the girls in the video.
Got it.
And I'm not really into that.
I think that's really a bad message and actually in fact gross.
And you are, now she's young, she's a young girl.
And what we, or at least what I think is that,
she has literally had nothing in her life,
no blockade, no boundary, no one ever saying no, no one.
She has not had her heart broken.
She has not felt the crushing blow.
You know how they're like your parents.
Right. With the,, should be a model.
Her parents are very excited about what she's bringing
to the table.
She has an overinflated view of her own self
and talent, frankly, and don't think she's bad.
I don't think she's evil.
I don't think she's malicious, but I think that she is
on a level of a demigod
to her own self that is gross.
And I think she needs to be taken down,
find some humility, find some grounding.
Like think of other people.
She literally like walked down that red carpet
in that outfit and was like, yeah, right?
Right?
Right? And you're like, yeah, right, right, right.
And you're like, bitch, you literally,
like you are in a derivative outfit
that someone's already done
and now you're making it like you're a lesbian sea creature
coming out of the water to fuck 5,000 different girls.
Lady Gaga was more toned down in the meat dress.
Yeah, exactly, Lady Gaga.
Lady Gaga was more like, what?
I'm here in a meat dress than she was in that.
We could have eaten off her dress.
Literally, and Lady Gaga walks through like she was
an actual queen with grace in it.
But this goon is walking through,
diking around in a way where she has no concept
of anyone else on the planet.
And I think it's a really, I think that she has the potential to learn
and change and grow,
but she's giving me the ick and the gross
and I don't like it.
Also the music, though it's catchy,
it's nothing groundbreaking.
Like Billie Eilish, that was a new, unique kind of music
that we had never heard before,
that was a hit, that was unique, you know what I mean?
So this isn't a unique pop, this is like,
you could have gone and like gone to any studio
and had someone create a song like this for you.
Yeah, and you can chat on AI on your computer.
But all of her music,
including back when she was a literal child,
we've been like into.
Yeah.
Like we loved boomerang, we love Candy Shop,
we were into her music, because we like crappy music.
Yeah, I mean she's got, there's the bones there
for all of it, but she needs to get out of her,
out of this thing that she's believing,
she's talking about gaslighting her own self,
and it's just gross, and it's gross,
and I don't like seeing, and particularly for me, I don't like seeing lesbians come off grosser than men. I
don't like seeing lesbians be predatory. I think it's awful. Okay I saw a clip I was just
trying to remember it. I saw a clip of her doing an interview on a podcast and
she I mean I couldn't believe this clip. She's talking about how she's getting
with a girl and she's a guest on what
appears to be maybe two other lesbians podcasts. So she's talking about relationship with girls
and she's like, yeah, it's a girl and you know, we're having her fun and everything. And the next
day, my dad calls me and he's like, so you were having fun last night? And you're like, no, no. She goes, yeah, I butt dialed my dad.
I wonder, so your dad is listening to you guys?
And then she was like, yeah, and I was drowning.
Oh no, no, no, no ever.
And that's the imagery in the video.
And I'm like, hold on.
And the dad, A, listened and then talked about it
and then joked with you after?
This is a problem.
And then some of the comments were like,
I don't believe the story.
Some people were like, I don't believe the story.
Other people said they didn't believe my story
about Britney.
They're like, I don't believe the story.
And I was like, well, I did talk about it right after
on my Patreon, but very briefly.
Yeah.
So it did really happen.
But I know now people are like, I don't believe these stories.
This one about the dad, I'm just like,
Believe it or not, she still shouldn't have said it.
And she constantly steps in shit in these podcast interviews.
We saw her on like a YouTube show that was like a dating show.
With all these girls where just their heads are covered up,
but she can see their whole bodies
and is going to choose based on their bodies.
Oh my god.
And then asks them.
But they're not naked.
It's not that naked show.
They just have like a cute body.
OK.
Yeah, but still you're being now you're best.
Now you're talking about like, oh, I like your thigh gap,
but I don't like your belly button.
Right.
Like, do you think you're femme or you
think you're more a mask?
Because I don't know what I'm, I can, I could do both.
I could do both.
And just like, how do you know me?
Did you know me before?
Do you know me?
Do you like me?
Do you know me?
Like, do you follow me?
Are you subscribed?
She asked them if they are tops or bottoms
and Julie and I literally ran away.
And we smashed through a plate glass window
and dove into traffic.
I was like, how, I mean, a man would be canceled
if he, a man would be canceled if he,
a man with a line of women with just their bodies.
Yeah, you're so right.
Yeah, I know.
Okay, I agree.
But we think JoJo will have a,
her story arc will be intense.
We think she will get her heart trampled.
Important.
And we're excited for that journey.
That needs to happen for her to find the center.
Well, when I do my, I was asked her on the red carpet,
who's gonna be my first podcast guest?
And I was like, oh, let's make it crazy.
How about one of my ex?
I just, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't deal with it.
I can't deal with it.
She thinks that, and that's the other thing before you move on.
She's so self-centered and so has no concept of the world
that that's her humor.
Right.
She thinks that's funny.
Yeah, you're right.
Because she was dancing and being yelled at
by Abby Lee at like six.
She just hasn't had the heartbreak,
and I mean heartbreak of any kind, of any kind.
Losing a dog or whatever. You're at any kind, of any kind, losing a dog, any, or whatever.
You're at a level, isn't this the level where you,
the fact that she's still driving around a car,
like, I mean, I just was at the parking lot
with Angeline, hot pink.
And I mean, she had her nylons on,
and she was walking into Ralph's,
like, probably soon you'll see the Corvette
with a walker.
Like, she's, but she, you know, wants that car.
And so she wants people to notice if you go up to her and ask for a picture, she will
charge you, which I don't blame her.
I don't blame her.
But so I'm like, okay, so aren't you now at a level that you don't want to be approached?
But no, she definitely does.
You're driving around your Tesla, which people are spotting and doing TikToks about,
and she's cutting off people.
Like she's not even a good driver.
She's covered with her face, her old face.
With the bow on it.
With the bow on it.
You're lezzin' around with your bow,
talking about everyone you're fingering,
but you still have your car wrapped and you're in a bow.
Like, you don't even know who you are.
Wrapped up in a bow, literally.
The car is wrapped up in her face with a bow.
And thinking that that's amazing.
That's the thing she thinks it's amazing.
And someone, and here's my prediction.
I think she's into a more feminine girl.
And she's going to meet one who's going to destroy her.
She's going to destroy her. She's gonna break her heart. Like she's gonna meet someone who is everything
she could ever dream of, but that's going to top her down.
And that is what she needs.
That's what she needs.
And I can't wait.
I think she's gonna continue to go viral for these reasons.
People kind of just be like, this is fucking hilarious.
But like all jokes, it will get old.
And so, you know, I hope she just grows up.
She could always get her manicure license
with a man of bias, but hopefully not.
Like hopefully she'll just do other things,
but we'll see what happens.
She has a transition into a Kristen Stewart,
a little bit filthy, shorter hair,
and a little bit darker.
But that's not her style though, this is her style.
No, but she might end up.
Her musical style is this.
But she is in a weird place,
cause she is acting like she's being like,
ugh, but that doesn't mix with,
you know what I mean?
Like, so she's, what Brandi's saying is that
I think that she's trying to break through the bow
and the thing and the thing into filthy,
more dyke-y Kristen Stewart possibly.
You're right.
Could be very sexy.
Okay, so the latest on the P. Diddy.
Now Jelly Roll, he told a story where he was supposed to meet him
when he was on the Jimmy Kimmel show.
And they're like, you want to meet P. Diddy?
And he's like, sure.
And so he's walking down the hallway to where P. Diddy is.
And whoever he's with, he's like, yeah, I
want to see who is responsible for Tupac's death.
And he's like, nobody chuckled.
And then he basically-
That's a pretty funny joke. That's funny. Hey he's like, nobody chuckled. And then he basically- That's a pretty funny joke, yeah.
That's funny.
Hey, I just wanted to check in.
Does anyone here know who killed Tupac or?
No, that didn't land?
Okay, I'm gonna go get some coffee.
And then he said, for the first time ever,
he just had the instinct of like,
actually I don't wanna meet him.
And he turned around and he never met him.
He's scared he's gonna kill him.
Well, yeah, like I feel like he listened to God or whoever
and was like, you know, his universe's
instinct and was like, you know what?
No.
And he didn't.
So I thought that was kind of interesting.
Meanwhile, Ashton Kutcher, everybody's like, when, what's going on with Ashton Kutcher?
So Ashton Kutcher is expecting a subpoena over his good friend.
This whole thing.
They're not talking about it. he and Mila Kunis.
Now remember, he was good friends
with another non-delight, Danny Masterson,
gave letters of support for him.
That whole thing of when the girl that Ashton Kutcher,
when he went to go on a date and saw that his date
was murdered in the living room,
he went to Danny first and there's that whole story. Also, do you remember when he was married
to Demi Moore and they would do these, you know, against sex trafficking stuff? And their
facts were maybe not correct in their crusade against it. It was like there
and it was like some weird astronomical number that there was no proof that it was this astronomical
number. It was like 80,000 kids are being sex trafficked out of California or something
like that. I don't know what it is, but it was something that like all you had to do
is be like, wait, there's no way like where's the milk cartons? Like, wait, hold on a minute, you know, we're not
saying this isn't happening, but I don't know that you have the facts. So that was when
he was with Debbie. Then he had a threesome in San Diego where we will be on July 27th.
And after that, after our threesome, then he gets rid of Demi,
they break up, he gets with Mila.
And so-
But don't forget when he had the most followers on Twitter,
because for many years he dominated Twitter.
Right, he was one of the first people.
He tweeted in support of Jerry Sandusky.
He did?
Yes, and it was crazy, and he had to cancel his Twitter.
He literally tweeted in support,
because he might be from Ohio or something,
but it was
crazy and that was his first time where people were like um the guy was like letting like coaches
shower with young boys yeah and he had to go off Twitter and lose all of his. So I don't know I
think something we're gonna find out a lot here but he said we became fast friends we used to just
hang out and watch football together Kutcher talking about his friendship with Diddy on an appearance of The Late Late Show
with the very straight James Corden.
The straightest.
I remember a story that we, one of the funniest moments I had in the writers room at Chelsea
lately was one of the, this guy was saying that his wife's friend said, the wife's girlfriend said to
her, um, well, you know, like my husband says, like, you know, what happens when guys watch
football and there's like a really good play, like someone gets a touchdown or whatever.
And like to celebrate, they just like blow each other.
But it's just when they're watching football and the girl was serious.
And this other woman was like, No, that doesn't
happen with straight bitches. Yes, it does. My husband says it happens all the time. Like
just if it's like a really good game, like it's a really good game. It's really intense
just to like let off some steam and to celebrate their team. They blow each other. And we were
dying dying laughing. And I'm just like, Oh, anyway, that just not saying that's happening with Diddy, Diddy and, but it just reminded me of
that joke because we laughed about that for like eight years. And that was every football season,
we'd bring it up in the writers room. Like Peter, have fun. Please don't blow everyone in the room,
Peter, if they went. Oh my God. Yeah. I mean, can you imagine what it would be like on Super Bowl, a close match?
Okay, so then Tori Spelling is getting divorced.
And I came over the story because Tori Spelling recalls
throwing a perfectly loaded baked potato
during a final fight with Dean McDermott.
And you guys have a real connection to baked potatoes.
One, I know you love them.
I love baked potato.
Butter and sour cream.
Thank you for that.
Not chives, no bacon, no cheese?
Yes, no cheese, no bacon.
Sour cream, butter, salt, chives.
Okay.
And the skin, I eat the skin.
The whole thing, I'll eat the whole potato.
Well, she knew she'd hit rock bottom
when she had made a perfectly stuffed baked potato.
And he said, I'm filing for divorce or whatever.
And then she threw it and realized she threw it on the ground and now she's made a mess
and she doesn't have a potato.
And we have started a potato revolution.
Yes.
With the woman who in 2020 turned herself into a, do you have your phone?
Turned herself into a baked potato at a meeting.
She was the boss on Zoom.
So it was a Zoom.
It's like when that guy became a cat
and he couldn't stop being a cat.
It was so funny.
But she was the first one.
She did it on purpose or by mistake?
No, she did it by mistake.
She could not turn it off.
So I became obsessed a couple of weeks ago.
And you know, at night as you do when you can't sleep,
I was turning to happy thoughts.
And instead of thinking about, you know, vodka, soda,
or rainbows, I had thought about the woman and the potato.
So I had to get the potato on my phone and just enjoy it.
And we've been, no matter what, just turning to the potato who does
kind of look like me. And if you do put it up, we call it the bitter drunk potato. And
I feel like she kind of looks like me and I do think she's pretty and really tan.
Well, she's tan because the potato skin is tan.
Right. That's fine. This is potato skin too. Her eyes are like always like off kilter
cause she's drunk.
And it's to show the inner strength of women.
Right.
And it's just, you know, this is the year of karma 24
and carbs.
Bringing back an old fashioned 1970s stuffed potato.
And the fact that this was her aha moment of divorce. And I love it because
she goes, you know, I would have never divulged anything to anybody about their divorce. But
now that she has her podcast launch, she waited to file for divorce for the day of the podcast
launch. And she's telling all her juices, including she hasn't pooped alone for 18 years,
that she will while she's pooping, there's always one child in the room talking to her,
which is kind of gross.
But whatever, good for her.
I'm not into that, but Julie has accidentally pooped
while we've been in like a, when you go TT together
in like a car bar.
Yes.
So I'm just there and then she's like, whoops.
And I'm like, ew, did you just poo? And she's like, it just. And I'm like, ew, did you just poo?
And she's like, it just happened.
I'm like, I'm in here.
It was an accident.
I, um.
It was one time, maybe twice.
Well, good luck to them.
I don't.
I have never thrown food.
I've never thrown food in a fight or anything, never.
I have been part of food fights
where elites think it's funny.
I am way too cheap and have way too much respect for food.
I do not like to throw food no matter what.
I don't like food on my face or in my hair.
It's so gross. It's so hard to get out, like shoving the wedding cake.
Oh, never. We didn't do that.
You know what also is annoying about food stuff?
You know like on cooking shows,
like with Kel's Kitchen or whatever,
and he'll get so mad,
because like you seared the chicken,
and it's too raw,
and they'll take a whole chicken
and throw it in the trash.
And I'm like, why are you doing that?
I would eat that chicken.
Oh, totally.
Why, like, I don't care if it's burned or whatever.
You don't throw a full chicken in the trash.
You know what I'm saying?
I think that's why I rarely get sick
is because I am so not a germaphobe
and I totally will eat.
Yeah, you're like that.
You're like wipe things off.
I was having such a good salad the other day
and there was like a weird piece of chicken bone,
whatever in it.
And so I just took it out, but I literally was so hungry.
I'm like, if I found a rusty screw,
I would still finish the salad. I'd take it out, but I'd be like, I don was so hungry. I'm like, if I found a rusty screw, I would still finish the salad.
I'd take it out, but I'd be like, I don't really care.
How is a rusty screw gonna affect my salad?
It's not, it's not.
I've eaten cupcakes out of garbage.
Actual garbage on the street.
I just bought all these cupcakes for my agent,
and they didn't do them like sprinkles.
They didn't put them in little perfect things.
When I opened it, they had all tossed around.
So I was like, I was so furious.
And I took them to the side of my house and I threw it.
And you know, you're outside trash bins.
And then Julie, I was like, I have to get something.
And Julie snuck around and ate the cupcakes
out of the trash.
And then I was like, and then she comes,
she's like, okay, I'm ready to go.
I'm like, what were you doing? She was like, nothing. And I was like, were you eating the cupcakes out of the trash. And then I was like, and then she comes, she's like, okay, I'm ready to go. I'm like, what were you doing?
She's like, nothing.
I was like, were you eating the cupcakes out of the garbage?
They were still in the box.
They were always thrown away just like the chicken.
Oh my God, Peter has thrown away food in the trash
and I open up the trash and I'm like,
I was planning on having it for lunch.
And like, I will take it out of me.
Like, yeah, what are we doing here?
Who cares if it fell on the floor for a second?
You just put it in the...
Our favorite show is back, Seeking Sister Wives,
and we did this photo from the year before.
It is about a couple who's looking for another person.
Now, the Mary Weathers, or whatever their name was,
are the only couple I really care about
because she's got kind of like a crooked smile and she I really care about because she's like she's got
like kind of like a crooked smile and she has two boys and she's like yeah we just are really hoping
to find another woman to bring into our family because that's what the Lord wants. She clearly
doesn't want it but they're on tv now this next so they found a girl and had sex with he had sex
with her she got jealous in end, the girl was like,
I don't even, I definitely don't want to marry you.
So now they're on the search again
and he is just bawling, crying.
Did you see the scene where he's crying so hard
with the girl and she has to do,
she doesn't speak English either,
so she's doing the Google thing.
And she's like, I saw that you were on these,
all these other dating sites
and I thought we were actually pursuing,
you guys are pursuing dating me, even though the girls don't
get together.
It's just him.
And then he's like, really sorry.
Really sorry that you found out about that.
I just love you so much, and I don't want it to be a problem.
And she's like, you know.
She's like this, yeah, but I told you that you would get off the apps and you did
not and I don't believe you now. Like, wow.
And it's just like, but he has become even more religious than he was before. And he
was like, well, just like Isaiah said, in scripture in scripture, da da da da, I'm going to learn
from the when the Lord says, let grace in, you can let grace in. I'm like, how do you
people take the scripture and then turn it to you should go on a reality show. And while
you have young children at home, find another woman who is desperate to be an American and
be on TV. So it's twofold, so she's
willing to screw you while your wife cries in a corner. Like it... I don't know if I
can watch the whole show, but I just had to talk about it for that scene.
Yeah, you had to force us to watch one of the weirdest another shows.
He had the gall to say that.
That could be in your lawsuit again.
That you were traumatized.
You then had like.
We had to watch the vagina orgasm show.
Your sleep was disrupted.
You twitched out.
I had my first throuple come to my show.
You did?
Yeah.
Guys, definitely a throuple.
And they were big fans.
They had a book, everything.
And I was like, great.
Great.
Yeah.
Do it.
But I've not had the sister-wife situation yet.
This woman is one of the saddest individuals
to ever grace a TV.
Yeah.
No matter how hard.
She's another one who lies about the amount of sex.
Yes.
She loves acting like they're so sexual,
but like I'm not buying it because,
and I think he might even be doing whatever he's finding in Colorado. He definitely tried to do
Ashley Madison, which we know is debunked, but whether he's at... He's on 10 fucking apps looking
for women. And I have to believe that he's also... The crying is really weird. He literally had the gall to say that Jesus Christ's sperm.
He literally said that.
Wait, what did he say?
He said that through the Bible
and we know that it says in the Bible
that you are supposed to intake Jesus Christ's sperm
to give the DNA. The Holy Ghost will enter you.
And that is Jesus Christ's sperm.
I almost took a picture of the subtitles for you.
It was the very first episode.
It's Jesus Christ's sperm who was never married
and didn't have any kids.
Correct, but his...
As the Holy Ghost when it enters you.
But it can only enter the woman and then...
So then now the sperm is his sperm entering a woman.
Correct, which is like Jesus' sperm and it goes into her brain, the sperm goes into her
brain and changes the DNA so that their DNA becomes or her DNA becomes one with him.
And that's what's doing here.
Oh, you've got... I'm so glad I found that out.
I've been gone to Catholic school my whole life.
I never knew that part.
So thank you, TLC.
It really is the learning channel.
It really is.
I mean, they should be, TLC should be sued
for not intervening on this woman as an abused person
in a cage.
I feel as though she's kept in a cage,
like at like the dog cage.
I think that when the doors are shut and the cameras leave, I feel as though she's like literally living in a cage. I feel as though she's kept in a cage like at it like the dog cage I think that when the doors are shut and the cameras leave I feel as though she's like literally living in a cage
like a gerbil with water that goes like that like I think like she's
There is it is so beyond because the other couples
Yeah, I mean whatever judgment or whatever whatever and it's all crazy and they're all everyone's tortured in their own way but they're like more they're more they're more
gung-ho yes there was this other couple I saw they're driving to go meet the girl
because she's blown them off and they're like no and the wife is like we are done
being treated like crap by whatever her name is I'm like except she doesn't want
to screw your husband anymore like she doesn't want to screw your husband anymore. Like, she doesn't want, she thought it would be fun to be on the TV show,
and she's like, I made $12, I'm calling Mark Garagos, and I don't want to show it.
Exactly. Exactly.
Mark Garagos should be all over all this.
Hey, Danielle. All over it.
If you want to do this. I mean, and Danielle's gotten a great makeover.
Oh, Danielle is her name. Yeah, she's cute, but like sad and pathetic.
Yes. Sad and pathetic. None of them have.
Sad and pathetic.
Yes, yeah.
Okay, girls, this is a great show.
I'm gonna talk a little bit more with you guys,
which we'll be part of the Tuesday show,
but we gotta wrap this up
because we have a cute lunch to go to.
But tell everybody where they can get more Brandy and Julie
in their lives through the Holy Spirit.
You can accept the Holy Spirit.
You can accept the Holy Spirit inside you at julianbrandi.com, J-U-L-I-E, and Brandi with a Y.
We have a podcast, it's a liberal leaning
current events podcast called The Dumb Gay Podcast
with Julie and Brandi.
If you don't wanna hear politics or liberal, you know,
whatever, we do have a Patreon.
That's very funny.
And now I've decided Julie's going to
suck on a hamster feeder.
That's gonna be the challenge on the Patreon?
I mean, we do, we sometimes do eating challenges,
you know, and I-
So it's patreon.com slash-
Dumb Gay Podcast.
Dumb Gay Politics.
Okay. But you can go to julianbrandy.com.
Yes.
And yes, and my, of course, is heatherrudalland.net.
You can click on there for my Patreon.
New stuff every Friday.
I will talk more about my fun trip in Palm Beach, more details, all the housewives I
hung out with, my two hour lunch with Ramona Singer.
So good.
And of course, that's HeatherBeeDoll.net
where you're gonna go see all these dates. Phoenix Denver are the ones for May. Get on it.
Don't miss out. You can get on that right now if you're part of Patreon and get those preferred
seats with the code that's revealed there. Otherwise, it'll be available Friday.
Is Phoenix sold out?
I don't know that it is. So you better get on it. It's one show and it's be available Friday. Is Phoenix sold out? I don't know that it is.
It's gonna be so fun.
So you better get on it.
If you can drive to Phoenix, do it.
It's one show and it's gonna be fabulous.
It's actually like in Scottsdale,
which is right next door to Phoenix,
but it's beautiful theater, great dining,
great time of year to be there.
Get on it.
That's May 3rd.
Thank you.