Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Chris Franjola on Love is Blind, Reesa Teesa and JLo

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

The Hilarious Chris Franjola is here! What really happened with Kelly Rowland on The Today Show? I reveal why I now do my own makeup on talk shows. JLo’s movie has fans asking “WTF did I just watch?” Reesa Teesa of Tik Tok tells a 500 minute tale about her own Dirty John ex husband. Vanderpump Rules’ Tom Sandoval continues to be clueless in interviews. Love is Blind on Netflix has Megan Fox chiming in. YouTuber Ruby Franke is sentenced for child abuse. A mom is arrested for making her daughter do bikini waxes. Khloe is accused of Facetuning her cat. Wedding dance performances have got to stop. Laugh and Enjoy! Go to https://MintMobile.com/JuicyScoop to get your new wireless plan for just $15 a month, and get the plan shipped to your door for FREE. Shop Juicy Scoop Merch https://juicyscoopshop.com  Get EXTRA Juicy on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop  Follow Me on Social Media Instagram: https://www/instagram.com/heathermcdonald  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald  Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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to the number one tabloid real life podcast. Listen in, listen up. Woo, woo. Hannah McDonald. Juicy Scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. Lots of hot topics with the one, the only the original blue eyed,

dashing father of the year, Chris Frangiola. Thank you very much. Thanks for saying father of the year, because I truly believe I am father of the year. I kind of feel like you need to milk that more. Went to a gymnast class yesterday with her first one, gymnastics. I took Mackenzie to gymnastics.

Yeah, did she, how did she do? She was like pretty good, but I remember I had to bring the boys and then they were disruptive and the lady was Russian and she was really like, you can't bring those boys anymore and then I just stopped going. I'm seeing that, she's in there, she's four

and she's in like a class where they don't do anything to just run around. But there's kids in there who are like 15 and look, I mean, they're great. Well, yeah. And there's like a Russian coach, a man who's just like screaming at them. Like I thought we couldn't do that anymore.

That that was something that went out. Wait, I won't tell you. Tell me later. It's right here, with the nails, with the nails. Okay, don't tell me which one you're at. Oh, because my niece was very competitive in it. And she was at a hardcore one, I want to say, in like North Hollywood or Van Nuys.

Yeah, this one. But she's still great. She's still doing, she's like still a full stunt woman and stuff. I thought these girls were doing amazing. And as soon as they landed, he'd go, what are you doing? Your hand's straight, not ob-straight. And the girls, I mean, you know the girls were like, no. I was like, wow, I thought,

because Jim Nassie's has been through it, you know? They've had all sorts of scandals. I thought at this point, everything's gotta be real nice and no problems, but apparently not. He's screaming. That hasn't stopped. I also think they scream in a good way because I think they see something in these kids.

And like, I don't want you to waste this talent. Like, nobody ever screamed at me because they never saw anything. Me too, I totally agree. Totally agree. Like, all of a sudden the kids are just, Right. That they can just do that shit.

Right, yeah, something's there. It's like amazing. I know, I would never be able to do it. None of my kids were able to. No, so I don't think my daughters, I mean, who knows? Right now she's running pretty fast. And that's all, we can hang on to that at least. She runs pretty fast.

We have some stories that you brought, which I wrote down, but I wanna get into the thing that everyone, people are talking about this too. So I think it was Friday that Kelly Rowland, a Star in her Own Right, former of Destiny Child, went and did Hoda and Jenna. And then she was supposed to co-host like the second hour and take Jenna.

I think she was like gassed on the second hour and was gonna take over the third hour, which is Jenna and Hoda. And it got out by sources that she was not happy with her dressing room and was like, fuck this and bailed on the third hour coasting. Right. Of co-hosting. And everyone was chiming in on it.

And you know, Bethany Frankel was like, you know, look at, and then she took it out on her thing where she was just like, I've done it. The place, you're basically putting your makeup on in a closet and done it up. And the other thought was, is it because J-Lo was there and J-Lo had the bigger- Well, that's what I heard.

Dressing her up. She wanted the bigger one, J-Lo was already occupying it. So, I mean, but whatever, if you're just gonna do star power, J-Lo's bigger. Kelly Rowland's big star, but J.Lo's bigger. Right. I think what happened was, I think it just came to Kelly Rowland on the wrong fucking day.

Yeah. And sometimes in this business, it comes on a day where you just feel like so disrespected. Yeah. And so unvalued that you're like, hold on a minute, I'm co-hosting a whole third hour of something for free with topics and bullshit. And this is my fucking room. Like no, I'm out, I'm out.

I am not feeling it, I'm out. That's what I think happened. And her people were probably just like, I think happened and her people were probably just like, you know, yawning knowing exactly what to do. Hoda has since spoken and said, which I think is the right thing to say, she can come back anytime, have my dressing room, put it to rest, she doesn't want to be woman against woman. No.

But yeah, these are the kind of things that happened. And also, if Kelly Rowland, I'm sure she's probably a smart lady, she should come back. Everybody will have fun with it. Everyone, these shows all need ratings right now. Nobody, TV is, especially network, television is dying. So have her back, everyone laughs about it. She held a copy, gives her her dress room, shoot a bit.

I mean, come on, have some fun with it. Are they looking to hire Chris Franchola for the Tunday Shack running into New York? I mean, why not? Also, I also think like I've had that happen too and it haunted me for years. A bad dressing room? I felt like maybe I had been a bit diva. Okay, so I would go on The Tonight Show and do this thing. I've tried it like five times.

And it was like a little bit they had going where it was like a panel-y bit. And it was called Could've Would've Should've. And it was while we were on Chelsea. And I never did stand up on The Tonight Show, but I got to do this little funny bit. And we'd come and we'd be first. Is that Jay Leno?

With Jay Leno and he could not have been nicer. Right. And so the last time I went on it, I was having like a stressful situation with a friend, which the text, we're texting back and forth. So I wasn't like in the greatest mood. And I went to the get my makeup done, which the makeup artist, this guy, we'd always had this great rapport or whatever. And anyway, I was not really liking how I looked.

Yeah. And I was just like tense. And I finally, was not really liking how I looked. And I was just like tense. And I finally, I'm like, it's fine, let me just finish it in the room. So I go in the room and I finish my makeup. Hence, this is the reason why I do my own makeup all the time now, okay? Because of this.

I do the show, the show goes fine. They never ever asked me back. And the show was on for years. I never knew why. I finally asked, who's the guy that came from the booking of that? Now works for Kelly Clarkson. That worked for us. Yeah.

I'm gonna say his name. There's nothing wrong. This is not a bad story. Yeah. I forgot. Bob Reed. Bob Reed, yeah. I finally said one day, Bob, you've got to tell me what happened.

Was it the makeup artist getting his feelings hurt because I was a little like snippy? This is like two years later. And he goes, no, the woman who was above me just decided she wasn't into you anymore. And she just didn't want to book you for stuff anymore. And that was it. That's the business. And that was it. That's the business.

And that was it. Yeah. Nothing to do with the makeup, nothing to do with me being snippy. But what I learned from that was like, this will never happen to me. Right. I come here and makeup ready. And then I let the hair and makeup people judge me. Yeah. If they so choose.

Right. Like then I look even better. Their job's super easy and they love me and they're like that was the easiest job I ever did and I looked good. Yeah. So that's one thing I do because God forbid, I mean with all and then with everybody wanting to tell on stars and their bad behavior, it's fucking terrifying out there. I one time I had one guy, I forget we were shooting something. Uh, we were doing like press for a show that, I think you were on, we were all on it.

It's, it was that Chelsea lately time. Oh, for after lately. And the guy's like, you want me to do your hair? And I'm, usually it's just fine. Yeah, what is your hair? And I was like, yeah, I was like, go ahead. Yeah. And I saw the comb come out.

The hot comb. The hot comb. And, and he's, and I, no mirror. You know, they, they, they turn you away from the mirror. I'm like, oh, I need to see this, but I can't. come out and the hot comb and and he's whoo and I know me or you know they take they turn you away from the mirror I'm like oh I need to see that but I can't and I don't want to say turn me back because you're afraid you're gonna be Kelly Rollins right exactly and he's and I'm feeling like this is getting big this is big because my hair could be big if I didn't taper right and sure

enough he spun me around I was like oh, oh my God. You look like a backstreet boy. No, I look like Tammy Faye Baker. I mean, it was just like. And Johnny Kansas was shooting it. And I walked in, he's like, what? What is this? Is this a joke? I'm like, it's not. It's not.

I had to go in the bathroom and wet it. And oh my God. Never again. I don't. It's so stressful if you don't know the hair and makeup people. That's why I say to anybody, do your own hair and makeup and then just have them enhance it. Don't go with a wet head.

Also that can screw you too. Sometimes people have come with a wet head hoping to get a big blowout while they're there. And there was in a miscommunication and they're like, we don't have time to blow out this girl's hair, I'm doing for other people's hair. Who does this fucking bitch think she is? Yeah, but there was a miscommunication between her PR person and like Me and all when J. Lo did our show

I remember they said the hair and makeup people and this is ten years ago or whatever it was was requesting $10,000 oh Chelsea lately, this for Chelsea Lately. This is what I recall, allegedly. $10,000 were her hair and makeup people. To comment to Chelsea Lately. Which Chelsea Lately would have to pay them. Right.

And I can't remember, I think they got them down to five or something. But they bargained, but like, yeah. She only looks half as good, but yeah. Yeah, I mean, amazing. I mean, what can you do? JLo is like, she's fine. Well, let's talk about JLo.

So this, have you heard about this Amazon Prime? I have. I heard about the movie. Okay, so. From the Dreams of Jennifer Lopez. That's what they say in the. Basically it is a visual album, but it's more of a, it is a full like length movie.

Sounds like music videos. But yes, right? Not following a story. Let me just tell you, it's so weird and bad. It's like, you're like, definitely I'm one of probably millions this weekend that was like, what the fuck am I watching? Okay. Right. So it starts out with her monologuing that in Puerto Rican culture, which we know she's Puerto Rican, there was an old story of a love torn thing. And one after they broke up, one turned into a rose and one turned into a cockatoo or whatever a bird. Oh, okay. And so here's the story of love. And then each vignette video is a song. And so it starts out where she's

a futuristic Rosie the Riveter fight and those women all are dancing with her and at the heart is like a machine. Okay. Then the next one, she's in literally a glass house. This is where I turn it off. I couldn't get through it. Yeah, I actually looked up summaries because I was like, I kind of want to talk about it. And it's all like, you know, I guess the fun is for you to, if you're a huge fan to be like, oh, this is husband number one. Oh, this was the waiter.

Oh, this was Casper. Oh, this was Ben Affleck number one. The first time around. This is Mark Anthony. Is she doing songs that are supposed to be- Yes, it's all about her love life. Then here gets, here is where it gets crazy. She has little acting parts.

So she has, I think, I wanna say Fat Joe, God, they're gonna kill me if I'm wrong. Okay, thank God. It is Fat Joe. Okay, he's a therapist. Which is a stretch. They just put him in a gray sweater. And he's her therapist.

Do you imagine you're J.Lo like this? First of all, I don't even know that you should be picking a male therapist quite honestly if you're a woman. I'm just gonna say that right now. Fat Joe's interesting casting for that. Okay, so anyway. I mean, Mandy Patankin would have been a good, you know, casting on that one.

And who's the new guy now and blah, blah, blah. Okay, then they have this reoccurring sketch going. Okay. Which has Trevor, Trevor from the, Noah, yeah, they have, it has Kiki Palmer, it has Jane Fonda. It has all these other people that her friends that she said, she asked him just come for an hour. I'm like, there's no way this was an hour. Hair, makeup, and then I'm sure they did the vignettes by themselves.

It's very AI, very cyber, whatever you call it. What was AI before it was called AI? Like, like, no, no, like, I don't know. No, but like, like the word for special effects. Oh. AI before it was AI.

Like, like. Special effects, I guess, I don't know. I know what you're saying. I know, I know. CGI. CGI, yeah. Exactly what I was know. I know what you're saying. I know, I know. CGI. CGI, yes, exactly what I was thinking. I knew there was a C. Okay, so they're sitting there and it's like

the worst SNL sketch you've ever seen. They're like, what is going on with her? What, and they're all zodiac signs. So it's like, she should have known she shouldn't have gone for an Aquarius. She's a Leo or whatever and each person represents a Zodiac sign and they're all the gods of love fighting with each other about what J.Lo's heart should do before we have to see the next dancing video.

Okay. And it's just so bad. And then they have a Vanderpump rules reference. Oh, I would, Jane Fonda goes, I think at this point I'd rather just go home and watch Vanderpump rules. Oh, I would Jane Fonda goes I think at this point. I'd rather just go home and watch Vaner pump rules. Oh, okay She finances herself $20 million and People are like did her team want her to do it or not?

The overall consensus is it's number one to hit watch. Yeah, she's going on tour It doesn't matter But does anyone love JLo more than JLo loves JLo? No. Right, yeah. And I think she saw Beyonce doing visual videos and movies or whatever they do. And she was like, I wanna have this attached to it.

How long is this? Is it an hour and a half? Yes! Yeah, okay. Okay, the other thing that took over every once weekend. This is Risa, no, Risa Tisa. Risa Tisa, sure. She is this fabulous woman that bared her soul

in such an eloquent, well-spoken written everything. It's 10 minute videos on TikTok. Okay. 50 of them, over 50 of them. She goes, this is the series I'm going to call Who the Fuck Did I Marry? She met a guy in 2020. He was a dirty John. But she walks through each thing from house shopping to the car shopping, to why he didn't want to show the proof of funds,

to getting married all through COVID, which added to that. But what is so amazing about her and why people are loving her is because throughout it, she constantly is taking accountability for like, there was more red flags than a UN center, whatever she says, like, why, you know, they were marching on my lawn and I didn't notice all these things.

But then she would say, I didn't wanna be alone, I was 39 years old. I wanted to believe this was all true, but I was suspicious. He would show me, he had bank statement, he had obviously we're gonna get to the part where there's fake bank statements. I want people should give her the views

because she's doing great. One of the things she said she wanted to do was go to London and Paris. Well, it influenced her a step forward and is funding her trip. Oh, how nice. I'm sure she will do something else with this. Maybe interview other people.

I don't know what she's gonna do after this, but she's made her money, she's made her lemonade, but then the thing people are mad at is they, he is a psychopath. He didn't, I don't think, I don't know, I didn't listen to the whole thing because I'm taking my time enjoying it. And I don't want to ruin it for people, but he's definitely a pathological liar. And so then another content creator found him. And people were like, you know, other count, that's not really your job to find the person that she's divorced from. That's obviously not a safe person. He now has come forward and said like,

oh, there's more reasons to why Risa Tisa and I broke up. And what's his name? I didn't, well, I didn't listen to her. I'm just happy for her that she's going to Europe. She's got a chronicle Europe. People are happy for her. And she was like, ladies, you've got to ask these questions. You know, he said he went to San Diego State

and played football and then played arena football. I didn't know anything about arena football. I never looked it up. And then I realized that Peter said he went to UC San Diego. Right. And I had never seen his diploma. Huh. Yeah.

Yeah. So you could be- So I walked in and I asked him, where is the diploma? Yeah. And he's like, I don't know, it's like in the office or what? I don't even know. Well, you guys have been together a long time now.

Well, I'm ready to crack it open. I would like to gain 400,000 views and followers in a weekend. And if it means that I have to crack open the fact that I have been duped by a creep from San Diego, like she has, then I'm ready to do it. I'm ready to expose it all. I'd like to see, like I feel like you fall for these things. It's gotta be, it's gotta be a little bit on you.

Cause sometimes you hear something like, well, how would you not see that? How would you not see this? She totally says it's on her. Here's the thing, they met in March right before the shutdown. Shutdown happens, they move in together. Then there's all the COVID stuff, they're in Atlanta.

All the COVID stuff is happening, the house buying, the looking at, and the other thing I wanna say is, there's this way of where people say, hey, if you're manifesting a beautiful house, you know, the way to secret and manifest stuff is, go look at houses, go get in a car. And I, oh, that always pissed me off as a former realtor. Do not waste a realtor time, a time,

or a furniture person's time, or a car dealer's time. Like someone, because that is what this person did. And she said, I think he got off on seeing me get excited about a house, get excited about a BMW and then pull it out from underneath. I'm like, I think he also got excited seeing that guy who was waiting all day at the car lot for someone to walk up.

Wow. And then spend hours and hours and hours with him. What about the other guy that showed him 25 houses in Atlanta? Yeah. Never got, wrote up offers, which is very time consuming, all of it. So yeah, he would lie for no reason to lie.

He lied because that's the whole thing. So she finds that family members, and the biggest thing is that he would talk on the phone to all these people, but not put them on speaker, but I guess they never existed. So she was trying to say, yes, was I taken? Yes. Should I ask more questions?

Yeah, but I'm telling you why I believed it. Cause he'd be like, oh, I got my brother on the phone. Yeah, she's here. Say hi to Jimmy. Hi, Jimmy. And then because of COVID, it wasn't weird that they never met. Wow.

And it wasn't weird that they got married at the courthouse, just the two of them. You know what I mean? Okay. So very, very, everyone's going crazy over that. Everyone loves receiving gifts, especially when it's from a loved one, you're like, oh, it's a thought that counts for you. You know what's sometimes even better? Shopping for yourself and getting exactly what you want, especially when it comes to fabulous jewelry. That's why I love bluenile.com. They offer thousands of independently graded diamonds and fine jewelry at prices significantly below traditional retail. So of course we love that. So whether you're looking for something for yourself or you want to do a special gift, I'm looking for something for my sister. You can

create something. I also love that there's a total piece of mine with every purchase because with a 30 day return makes it so easy. Also, diamond priced match guarantee. So you can't beat that. Also, if you have any questions, the Blue Nile jewelry experts are on hand day and night via phone to chat. So if you have a question about what makes one diamond different, maybe a different shape or suggestion for a gift, maybe this is my budget. What do you suggest? They're more of a, you know, rose gold person, whatever. They can really put great ideas together and to get you the best gift for someone or for yourself. Seriously, you can't beat the ease of convenience of shopping Blue Nile, which makes sense since they're the

original online jeweler since 1999. Go to bluenile.com to find the perfect piece today. That's blue nile.com. Blue Nile.com. Listen, I talk a lot of GC scoop. Sometimes people are like Heather, your loose lips have sunk some ships and you were the captain. I hear you, but sometimes I just got to share it. And I know sometimes you hear something on this show and you want to get on the phone and share with your besties. Well right now the best deal in wireless is at Mint Mobile. Mint Mobile has wireless plans starting at $15 a month. That's unlimited talk and text plus data for $15 a month. And at Mint, families start at just two lines. I love this because there's no

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Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. C meant mobile for details. Now this I thought was pretty juicy. Okay. This Airbnb person got an Airbnb and the lady was upset that he that the neighbors were complaining. He's like, you're full of shit. No neighbors were complaining. I'm not paying. Right. So she's like, no, you are gonna pay. And I'm gonna, you know, and he goes and show me the photos of where people were parting at my house, they weren't. Well, then the person who owns the house pulls all the ring photos

and sees that he was cheating on his wife, that there was a woman there. So then she said, either you're gonna pay me the money you owe me plus all these fees for also writing a bad Yelp review for me. Yeah. And or I'm gonna show this to your wife. So then he's like wait a minute I'm being extorted. But anyway I thought I just thought that was like just be careful. I feel like Airbnb people are like airline stewardesses. Uh-huh. Just be nice.

Get the fuck out. I don't like the Airbnb. I tried it a few times and I prefer the hotel. I don't like the Airbnb. You know, I feel like people are moving towards hotel. Yeah, I think so too. Because some cities just don't really allow Airbnb. I mean, New York City did not enough to change.

They're being stricter. People are being stricter. And neighborhoods are being stricter. But I've gone a couple times times where the key is not there, and I'm like, you just know you can't contact anybody. I've had a few. Yeah, the key's not there at Friday at four, and they're like, we reopen the office on Sunday,

you're like, what? I know, exactly, I know what happened to me, like something similar. And I'm like, just go me a hotel with a guy behind the counter, and I could, you know, the key is there, and I can't, you know, whatever. Yeah, it's be cheating. Wait, before we get to this next one,

you were, we were gonna talk about Soho House. What is the scoop? Oh, insane. For the people that don't know, Soho House is a, it's been around for like, I don't know, 20 years. A long time. A long time, maybe even longer. Yeah.

LA, Malibu, London, and it's like a private dining place. You have to be approved. It's a private club. Yeah, you have to be approved. Not only do you have to pay to join, and then there's like a monthly, I mean, a yearly fee, whether you ever step foot or not, it's private dining. If you're not a member, you can't go without a member.

Yes. And the whole thing, at least in LA, is that they want artists, they won't let you use your cell phone, they don't let you go up to someone and be like, oh my god, I loved your work in this. You can have power meetings, but also it's kind of good. Because if you're an up and comer in the business, you really do have access to some of these people

that you wouldn't have. And they think, well, at least you're at this level because you were vetted. You were vetted that you were at least a junior agent or something. You at least had one screenplay sold. So what are they saying about this? Well, first of all, they're saying that Wall Street, Wall Street's involved, and they don't think it's going to last, so they're short-selling it, whatever that means. Just the one in New York or like all of them? Well, right now, just the one in New York. So if they're stock plummets, then, you know,

who knows what becomes of it? And a lot of people are upset that they're letting in too many people. You know, I guess it used to be very exclusive, depending upon the one you go to. Sounds like our border. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's very similar to the border, yes it's filled with migrants. So anyway that's what they're saying, people are upset they're like too many people in and I guess to get in you not only have to pay the fee, whatever that is, I know the

one in Malibu is even extra, I don't know how much it costs to get in the one in Malibu, but then you also have to have people vouch for you. Like they already belong to it. And they have to write you like a note. Like I like this guy or whatever. Which it all seems like really that for French fries. I mean, I don't know what are they, but it is cool to, I guess, sit next to Larry David and Malibu.

Who knows. If the Malibu one closes, I just hope they make it another great restaurant. Cause the location is so frickin fabulous. It's right next door to To no boo. Yeah, and it used to be this restaurant. That wasn't very good The food wasn't very good, but I would go there anyway because if I couldn't get into no boo The it was so wonderful and then about eight years ago is when they made it so oh Malibu It's very nice. I mean I do like the vibe of it. I love to see people all in beige

Yeah, a lot of beige and white right at the so ho one Malibu I mean, it's very nice. And I do like the vibe of it. I love to see people all in beige. Yeah. A lot of beige and white at the Soho One Malibu. And there was a time I was thinking about it. A friend of mine was in it and I was like, how much is it? And it was a lot less expensive there. And I was like, how often would I come out here?

It's still like a 40 minute drive. And then she was like, I don't think they'd want you, because you're like a gossip person. And I was like, oh, I can see why you wouldn't want me. Yeah. So I never joined. And I get to be friends. I used to go when my friends invite me.

And so far I've been okay. I haven't gotten in trouble. I looked it up on time because we have the apartment right next to it over there. And it said something like $2,000. And I it up one time, because we have the apartment right next to it. Yeah. Over there. And I, and it said something like $2,000. And I was like, oh, that's it? No, it's a lot more now.

Yeah, it's only $2,000 to get the application, just to fill out the applications. And you don't get that back where that goes towards. I don't think so. It probably goes towards like the 10 grand. Maybe, I know. I didn't go that far into it. It probably goes through to the 10 grand.

Yeah. Like almost like we just don't want to waste our time, so you have to be pretty serious. If we reject you, they got to give you the two grand back. Who knows? But anyway, it's- So they just don't want every loser trying. They're saying that it might be on the outs. That's the latest story just came out today. There's been times I've come on a beautiful day as a guest of someone. And I mean, you're waiting in line to drop off your car and it is packed. Oh man. And that is the thing that you're supposed to be able

to always like get a table. Yeah. So if there's too many people, then there's too many people. There's too many VIPs everywhere. As far as I'm concerned, like I go VIP to like concerts and stuff. I'm like, wait a minute.

There's everyone to VIP. And then like Delta lounge, you know the lounges and the airports, there's lines to get into them now. I'm like, how is everybody VIP? Well, I lounge, you know the lounges in the airport just lines to get into them now I'm like, well, how is everybody VIP? Well, I'm glad you asked that because that my on my new tour Chris. Oh, okay. I haven't all done that I am Continuing the meet and greets, but they do cap out at 50. Is that right?

They cap out at 50 for that exact reason But you got to stop the shady people who walk out and then give their alignment to another person, then they'll walk in. Now you're- Well, now I think I'm gonna do the meet and greets before the show. Right. And you gotta love me enough to get there a little early. Okay.

Because I do believe that's a better way to go. And that's the way most artists do it. But for me, I always wanted to be like preparing my act till the very last minute. But the new Heather is gonna be more prepared. Okay. And we're gonna do meet and greets before. That's a good idea. I think before is better.

Yeah. Cause then I'm like on a high and I wanna like leave. Yeah. And then I can be with my real, like not real friends, but my friends that are like family and friends that are in that city, I can visit with them. I wouldn't have them come before. But those fields spoils it a little bit,

they've seen you before you walk out on stage, I get supposed to be that, oh, there she is. This is where the ego of me is now, I'm putting that to rest. Oh, you're good. But one of the reasons I wanted to always do it after is that feeling of like how my parents would praise me after. I wanted them to come up after they saw my act,

to be like, that was my favorite bit, that was my favorite part. But I noticed they really don't do that. It's really like they just wanted to meet me because of Juicy Scoop and share whatever they want to share their personal story, something. Something about it. So it doesn't really matter what the act is. And then you piss off the man that you dragged, because now she has to wait in line,

and it might take up to another 30, 40 minutes. So I don't know how quickly I pee, put on my lips. I'm always like, the minute it starts, I can wait, go out there, but now I'm like, no, I'm gonna do it before. Okay. So, plan it accordingly.

Yeah, good deal. Okay, so Tom Sandoval did a article for the New York Times called How Tom Sandoval Became the Most Hated Man in America. And he put a couple of doozies in there. Yes. One was that he says when Ariana found out that he was cheating with her best friend, Raquel, that they went into the back alley of where he was performing and he was a victim of domestic abuse. Now he's saying and he was a victim of domestic abuse.

Now he's saying that she hit him. Yeah. Okay. I don't, everyone's just kinda like, okay, dude. Then he went on to say, I'm not a pop culture expert. Granted, you're not JuicySkip, right? Right. But I think the reason everyone went so crazy,

it was just the media crazy, is that it was up there with the OJ murder trial, which he was accused of killing two people, Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson, and the death of George Floyd. Yeah, he said he was getting that much press, right? He was getting that much press as they got, yeah. I don't believe he was at all.

And I don't think, so obviously he realizes that was an awful comparison to a murder of three people. And, you know, like so bad, of course, the writer of this was probably just like, this is just gold. Like I just, I like, like this is fucking gold. I just think he's a douchey, narcissistic dude whose life has been extremely easy.

He came out here extremely good looking, was weighing in cables while actually getting legit work. Got on a show that he's been able to do for 11 years, always had a girlfriend. Got to cheat on girlfriends. And not until he got caught is he now like, oh my God, why is everybody so awful to me? So I just think some people are born douchey.

And you can't squeeze the douche. He's got a very douchey look about him. I mean, that's like the whole thing, right? He's just a douche. Yes, he goes shirtless and he does his cover band, which by the way, all these women that were like, we hate him, he's done. They're all going to the shows.

Yeah, it's fun to. So here's the thing. Oh, this is the best thing you ever have a day. Yeah, nobody gets killed. And now his time is coming. Right. While he's banded all the other girls in the cast, including his ex, Ariana, Lala and Sheena, because they had podcasts and like me, we talked a lot about

it because there was stuff all the time and it was just a fascinating topic because it not only involved cheating, people we all knew that were playing themselves on TV, but also the portrayal of a girlfriend with your man, which is very, very juicy. And we had never seen on reality TV before. That is why there was a frenzy about it. But he's like, you know, they used me for clicks and views and whatever. And I'm like, okay.

Is that what it's all about though? Yeah, the idea is a show too. They all have podcasts now. Everyone has a podcast. Okay, all right podcasts. Now, everyone has a podcast. Okay, all right, fine. But when you say, and I mean, look at this photo. I mean, he is good looking. I also wanna say that's a nice trick to make your bicep.

Do you know that, Chris? You just press your arm. You press your arm, you twist it a little, and then you press, but he does have a very good body. Yeah, he's pretty jacked up this guy. Let's give him that. He has a good body. But then he also, Raquel has also spoken,

because of course she has a podcast. And she says, he says in the show last night, I really love her. I really want to talk to her. But she did another extension at the rehab place for her mental health. And then he wrote her and said, you are so, why are you so dependent on that place? So he's just awful all around.

There you go. Okay, Chris, has anyone ever told you that you look like a celebrity? Yes. Who? I mean, it's not good ones. Lately I've been getting a lot of Kevin Bacon, but I think it's like Kevin Bacon now.

Like old Kevin Bacon. Yeah, exactly. No, no, exactly. Like old Kevin Bacon. First of all, Kevin Bacon has a little pig nose. No offense. No, he, yeah. And you do not have a little pig nose.

I mean, I follow Kevin Bacon on Instagram. I see what that, as a matter of fact, it just happened to be like two days ago I went and was trying on sunglasses at some Nordstrom. And every time I put them on, I go, you look like Kevin Bacon and knows, I think she was trying to sell me, like, oh, that upsold.

I felt like I got Kevin Bacon. For a loose. Lately I've been hearing Kevin Bacon, but I don't know, like nobody good. I used to get, I mean, people hate when I say this, but I got Tom Brady a lot early. There was a time when my hair was similar. Okay.

I got to it with the hot comb. I got a couple of Tom Brady's, but that's about nothing good. Um, well, of course one was Celine Dion. Yeah. And, but I have to say in all the times that people have sent me your doppelganger. Never have I thought the doppelganger was better looking than me. Did you have even worse than that?

And I realized that I don't see me. Yeah. I saw an old photo of me at the Kardashian first episode. Right, I saw that too, somebody posted it on there. And I was like, you were a goofy looking dork. I never realized that before. Yeah, well those are the times. No.

Oh yeah, you don't think so? I thought I was better looking this whole time. No wonder people are annoyed that I have so much confidence. Well. I really thought I was like pretty cute my whole life. Yeah. I could not understand why I didn't get in to more Sororities, I didn't understand why I didn't why I kicked out of the Tarzana

pageant I Mean look at a scale from one to ten. What what now? What do you say? Now, I think I'm probably like a six a six like what all this is using but A six? Like what all this is using? But when you get it up to an age. Okay, now at my age, if we're gonna line me up against women my age that don't have access to LA plastic surgery and good makeup,

now I'm at the top. So you're 10? Like no, not 10, like now I'm like eight. But I think back like 35, 40 years ago right when everyone just had their teeth Everyone had their lip size right original noses Symmetrical faces that were just beautiful or not. Yes Six I don't know if you watch the we are the world documentary on Excellent

I'm just so into that world that I loved it. Then I turned it off. Okay, go on. I'll give it another chance. Anyway. I'm going on a plane. You know what I'm gonna do. Okay, you should watch it.

Anyway, that, I'm watching it going, oh, this is when nobody had anything. Like, they're not bad looking, but it's like Bruce Springsteen's teeth. Like Bruce Springsteen now is like a model. Like he's got all the shit. But then he could cook your teeth and Cindy Lauper's got, you know, there was no whitening toothpaste

back then or anything like that. I mean, everybody looks, unless you're Diana Ross or you're genetically blessed, most of them kind of look like shit in that. And I'm like, oh, that's why it was 1985. Right. Angie is your home for everything home. And they've made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your home projects done well. If you own a home, you know how much work that can take, whether it's everyday maintenance and repairs

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Nobody had anything yet. The other thing people have been saying like on TikToks and stuff, they'll throw old videos of like kids in high school, like in the late 80s. Right. And they're like, and the comments are like,

why do all these people look so old? Yeah. I don't know the conspiracy behind it. Why do they look so old? Well, I'm gonna say it was Prell, which used to be the shampoo. I mean, we didn't even have the good shampoo. We didn't even have nexus or pole Mitchell. I want to say that conditioner wasn't even a thing until the 80s.

No, no, no. You want one, two. It was just like, and then you used, you dried your hand. Remember those school paper towels you used to dry your hands with, they were made out of like just lumber? It was like- My mom, when my mom came to LA from Chicago, and she was a Midwest girl, she said she was in the grocery store

and this woman walked up to her and said, Dr. Bernstein, and she goes, what? Dr. Bernstein, he did your nose, and she's like, no, what are you talking? She never knew anyone that had gotten a nose job or anything. Then she had a friend who went through a divorce that she was selling her house.

And she went to go visit her and she got a boob job. And she's like, you're boobs, he laid, how did your boobs? And she goes, oh Pam, I just did. I must, I must increase by bus. And she believed her for like years I my mother had somebody in her family. I think she's still alive 102 years old Yeah, her name is Rossi which a cousin of my mother's she had a breast implants. I this must have been in the late 60s Or at least I'll a part was like one of the first people to do it

Yeah, I don't know what they put in there oh or tuna cans or something, but she's still going. I think they're still in there, whatever foreign object it is. Goes to show you, you know, yeah, especially if it's a replace over 10 years, maybe you don't have to. If the woman is under and one, still rocking and haltering. Still going around, yeah.

Oh my God, but yeah, but it is so funny to see people now. And it's just- You know, Marilyn Monroe got a nose job did she Anna and I'm gonna say someone else back then But there's no way she would have been who she is had she not gotten her nose job Some people like a look Kenny Rogers No, Kenny Rogers went through all that weird plastic and it was like well your Kenny Rogers We're already kind of a handsome guy for Kenny Rogers, you know

And I'm like what did you think they were going to do that was going to, like, some people can use a bit of enhancement because they're already, you know, they have a foundation to work with. And some people are like, well, screw it, you're just Kenny Rogers. Okay, so let's get to this. This is Love Is Blind. Yes. And it's season six. And I think there's six episodes out and now there's another chunk coming. Okay. Right. Or maybe it's one. So we got to know what how Netflix is doing things now you should know since you know you're sleeping with the enemy over there. She's she's not a part of this. Yeah,

it is so good. Your love is blind. It is really good this season. Yeah. Always when I watch it, I just go I need to appreciate being married more because this is all these people want, is to fall in love and get married. Now, there is this one girl and you're not supposed to know, the whole thing is that you're not supposed to know someone's ethnicity or whatever, but there's been times when in their conversations

where they can't see each other, it's like, I remember there was a time, like two of them realized that they're both of Indian descent. And then, you know, because we're just talking about traditions and stuff, you could figure it out. And, but this, she brings up, has anyone ever told you to look like a celebrity to this guy? And he has no, not really, what about you?

And she was, yeah, a bunch of times people said, I look like a machine gun Kelly's girlfriend or wife or something. And he's like, Megan Fox, I guess, that's what people say I look like. So anyway, it's down to her, this girl, Chelsea, and this other girl, Jess, who really does look kinda like Megan Fox.

She's a single mom, she's 28, she has a tight, size zero body with a button tits, the lips, the whole gorgeous Okay, and he ends up choosing Chelsea because I think he was scared of being this the stepdad But also I think he was whacking off to make in Fox last five days when he left the pod and She kind of bitchy about it just goes So you're picking Chelsea. Okay, when you See me you are going to die. You're gonna be an epi pin

You're gonna flip like kind of bitchy about it anyway, so they get together and he is like Hey, now she is a good-looking girl and in the eyes. She kind of like I see the Megan and she's it's she's letting this roll off Her back people are being so mean about it. Megan Fox has been nice. She's like, she's being cool about it. And you know, hey, you're sitting talking to people all day long. Is something gonna slip that's gonna hurt you?

I mean, there was another girl that talked about her views on abortion. I'm like, oh, this girl's life is over. You know, like, I just, like, what are you, you're supposed to be yourself. And then there was this guy that was so weird. And he, he liked these two girls and he told them the exact same thing and they heard them, each other talking about their great date with him and realize it. They caught the player in the act. And I was watching it like with Brandon and I'm all,

Brandon, this is what guys do. And we never realize it till we have proof. They figure out what words work, and then they can use them on multiple girls at the same time. So his thing with both girls is, let's just leave here right now. Let's just like you and me just get up and leave. Let's just go. Yeah. So the girl's like, oh my God, he's chosen me, but he said to everybody, anyway, he left.

It is so good. So now they have the pairings, and now we're gonna go to see what is happening with it. But yeah. I suggest to people, never say, do you know who you look like unless the person is at Megan Fox level. Do not say to somebody, of anybody that, okay,

people say, more should get hard to get to me. That I can take. to somebody of anybody that, okay, people say more should get hard to get to me. That I can take. I see that one. Selina, I'm happy with. The saw puppet, that's not a good one. Saw puppet, not good. There's just been some random ones

where someone will just send it to me. Caitlin. No, I will take Caitlin because Caitlin Dunnup also looks like Cindy Crawford. So if you want to put me, Caitlin and Cindy Crawford across, I'm done. I'm down, totally down. But yeah, I think it's a, if I just think it's something that you should not send to people.

Well, worse than that is celebrity, yes. But do you ever get when somebody says, you look like my cousin or my uncle or whatever, and then you finally see them, and like, oh my God, what am I, does my mirror in my house skewed or something? Like, am I, like? Apparently there is a, there is like a app or something where it switches it, and it's like, this is how people really see you, and it's different.

I don't get it. I guess in most pictures here, aren't you reversed? I don't understand how that works. I don't know, I don't know either, but yeah. I mean, I have one mirror in my house. I am gorgeous. I tell my wife, I said, you got it. That's the mirror to go in.

And we all, that's the one we use for anything. We have a lot of mirrors. That's your last check mirror? It's our last check mirror. We had last check mirror in our sorority house. We have last check, yeah, this is last check mirror. But it's almost, I think it's giving you false, false. Well, obviously boutiques have always bought skinny mirrors.

I don't think so. I think some of them, I mean, some of them are going to. Some of them, but some of them, I now know what's a skinny mirror. And I know Heather, this is a skinny mirror. And this is full, are you believing it or you saying, I don't look as good in whatever I'm wearing as this mirror is leading to believe?

If I look so incredibly snatched and stuff, I have to say, Heather, this is probably a skinny mirror. Okay. And there's times I've asked. I mean, you're pretty skinny. There's times I've asked the girls. Yeah. Working there.

Okay. And they'll be like, yeah, kind of, I think so. If they don't care. If they're the owner, they're like, no! If they work there, they're like on their phone, and they're like, yeah, it's a skinny mirror. Speaking of old pictures where you looked dorky, you know how I'm gonna navigate those Facebook memories,

whatever, they come back 10 years, 12 years, where they're now Facebook's been around a long time, now you go, I think they go back as far as like 13 years or something. And so for us, that was like hide of Chelsea Lately around there. And I've seen a couple of red carpets where we were at for whatever reason,

after Lately or something. And all the outfits we're wearing, and I know they were of the time, the cuts of jeans and everything were different, but God, nobody could have helped us a little bit. Like we all looked like we're wearing like bad jeans and bad, but I am at least. I shouldn't speak for everybody.

Well, I've got these dresses said to me that were free. I needed a new outfit. And we were on the show like every other week, at the beginning. And we weren't only getting an extra $300, $400 to be on the show. So you didn't want to buy a new outfit every time. So I was getting these dresses

and the whole thing was that Michelle Obama was wearing them too. They weren't really even that expensive as retail. But I was getting them for free. But they were so like, why? Like I was so young. Why am I wearing this conservative, like dorky like daytime talk show dress

when I should have been like dressing like a hip girl on a late night show. I know, I know. It's a little bit like Drew Barrymore, you know? The outfits come to some of them. She always looks like she's, you know, I know. It's a little bit like Drew Barrymore, you know? The outfits come, some of them, she always looks like she's, you know, hunting foxes. But, you know, I mean, it works on her kind of. I'm actually, this is my last day at 48, I am now 49,

and I feel mature, I feel special, but I am. Technically, I'm still a child of the 70s and that's why I love the style. No, her style is like 70s. That's good. Thank you. I know I've seen it a million times. I'm glad you still love it.

But you've toned it down. You said I used to look like a stroke victim. No, it was getting a little stroky. Now it looks really good. You've toned it down a little bit. It's good. She's toned it down. Yeah. She It's good. She's toned it down. Yeah.

She's still up in everybody's vagina when she interviews them. It's so shocking. But I love it though. I think she's smart in that those things go viral. They're getting eclipse. Yeah. So why the fuck not? And I do think it's natural to her.

I think she is someone that like really connects with people. And I do think she has like a pure soul. I do too. So I think it's like, it's fine. But no, her whole style is like that 70s style So I think it's like, it's fine. But no, her whole style is like that 70s style. It looks good. She's like any hole, any hole or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coolots, they're called coolots. I know it well. Coolots, I love coolots. People, coolots are pants that are wide legged that come mid cap, but then you wear them with boots so your ankles don't look weirdly skinny. And then also like a tweed vest.

Yeah. It looks like a golfer like from the 50s. They used to wear more or less, coolots, you know. Totally. Okay. Thinking of love. Okay, this person goes, my client proposes from jail on FaceTime. Okay, this whole thing, this girl then walks up

and the guy from jail is on that screen right here and he asked her to marry him, but whoever did it, like the guy from prison, he's probably like some access money, he then hired a actual like wedding planner or a vet planner to do all this. So the whole thing was like, guys, you have no excuse. Like if a guy from prison can set it up, you can set up a proper engagement.

I'm like, can we just... That's nice. Look, first of all, what is he in jail for? And how does he have this extra money? Tells me he's probably like, let me do this time. I buried this money under a hill. And once I get out, you and I can have a great life. But I'm always fascinated.

I remember there was a show about wedding gowns or whatever and the girl was with her mom and she was getting married to a prisoner. Say yes to the dress. Yeah, but it was a different one than that. But the girl was going to a prison. Yeah. And maybe, you know what, maybe someone told me this

because I definitely exist because I saw the photos, maybe it wasn't a show. And she was marrying a guy in San Quentin. And she was like beautiful and like attractive and everything. And she was trying on dresses with her mother who was paying for it. That's how much some mothers just want their daughter to be married.

And on her back she had the whole seascape of San Quentin on her back. Like tattooed? Yes! Oh. Wow, she doesn't sound like she's got all there. That's a problem. I mean she probably, yeah. You're probably happy today. Speaking of prison. Oh my god So, oh my god Ruby Frank who is the awful mother who made her money on YouTube Talking about being a strict Mormon parent broke up with her husband went to live with her podcast partner and Had their kids living with her in which she was caught for severely abusing two of them.

Like starving them instead. Starving them, their hands were bound, they had duct tape on them. In Utah, they were both convicted, she and the other woman. And I don't really understand this, how the sentence works, but they said it can go anywhere from one to 60 years, because the 60 years could be all the counts

that she has been convicted of. So it's four years here, five years here, neglect this, that. So then other people are like, but wait, could she also get out in a year? What I hate is that now she's saying quotes like this, which I think just gonna make your kid feel guilty again, fucking with them. I'm working on my.

She said to my babies, I believe dark was light and right was wrong. I would do anything in this world for you. Really? Yeah. Like give them fucking food? Horror. Just horrible. I think, listen, every child abuser should be, you know, they'll get the worst punishment. Right. But when it's your own child, I think it's so much worse because how is this child ever supposed to ever trust anybody? I know their own parent So anyway, she's gone. I don't know why The dad is not being convicted

But I guess it's because the dad was not in the home when the kids were being are they divorced or something They're well now they're yeah, they were separated at the time. Yeah, and I think also If he's proven to be of the right sound of mind, everything, like we do want the kids to at least have their one parent. But I think in the end, she'll probably do like at least 15.

Yeah, hopefully. Hopefully, yeah. Meanwhile, this woman's in trouble. She's just been arrested. She posted that she had her daughter waxing other women's bikinis. Is that a woman? But the shot of it is like.

It's a woman, it's bikini waxing. Okay. You could also. You know what, I don't know if that's a woman. A man could get butt, but his butt waxed. Poor little girl. Couldn't be older than six. Doesn't look like it.

But then she also posted it and they said, well, she was arrested for child neglect, child endangerment. I'm like, what about child labor laws? There and they said, well, she was arrested for child neglect, child endangerment. I'm like, what about child labor laws? There's no one, like I feel like that was so something of like the 1940s, but like, can we start getting some parents convicted of child labor laws when they put them on their TikToks and all this stuff,

but then also have them actually doing like the real work? Yeah. Where's, you shouldn't have a license for waxing this little girl. If I were the person with my legs up like that, and if you guys could see this photo, it's unbelievable, but I would be like, is she, I don't know if she's got the skills,

I feel like, you know what I mean? I would have stopped it. Like that woman should be arrested as well for not stopping it. Or what if the woman is like she had so many clients. And so then she was like, you sit back, put on this like sleep gear mask, and I'll be in to do it.

And then she's like, test your little daughter, go in and do it. And the daughter doesn't, you know, thought it was a game or something. Listen, I just thought about the labor laws that were broken when I was a kid. Oh, yeah. So my parents were realtors

and my dad would rent a truck and we would sit in the back of a truck on top of all these pumpkins. We'd go to the place and buy the pumpkins anywhere between $5 and $7 of pumpkin. Why pumpkin? Because we put it and say, Bob and Pam, McDonald, Country Club realtors, welcome you to Woodland Hills,7 of pumpkin. Why pumpkin? Because we put it in say Bob and Pam, McDonald, Country Club realtors,

welcome you to Woodland Hills, enjoy your pumpkin. But that's only again the fall. Right, we did once a year, we put it on everyone's doorstep. Okay. And we bring our friends. Oh. And we would go, we'd have to walk up,

you know where we live, there's hills, there's a lot. Driveways. And my friend Liz, she's a little go-getter too, so she would go and walk up there. One day, I just remember she was like running down to Scravey and there's like a two giant dogs chasing after her and then the bumpkins rolling after her and she's like, ah!

And then my dad's like, oh, geez, I shot her. And then we caught these two kids were like, oh, these are fun. Let's go around the neighborhood and throw them and break them. Smash the pumpkin. My dad, these kids couldn't have been older than 10. He drove up in the truck as we're bouncing around

on top of the pumpkins. And he's like, and he just grabbed them. Like, again! No, none of this is kidding. Grabbed them and was like, listen to me, you little shit! You know? And like, I was like, oh fuck. He did that on Match About 2, these kids jumped in front of the line

and pulled them from their car. And was like, get in the back of the line, you little shit! Like, I can't believe. Yeah, I mean these days, like, you can't even walk up to anyone's house anymore and put something on there. They'd shoot you if you walked up, you know? It, like you can't even walk up to anyone's house anymore and put something on there. They'd shoot you if you walked out, you know? It's like a whole different world.

God, I know. Like even like selling door to door, and like kids used to be able to go sell door to door and stuff like that, yeah. The magazines and chocolates. Can't do that anymore. Well I'm glad people realized that was weird. I know it is weird.

I used to, you know, I, when the news day was. Oh isn't Girl Scout cookies coming around? Yeah, they're around, they're around. You know what, I got a box the news day was, Oh, isn't Girl Scout cookies coming around? Yeah, they're around. They're around. You know what? I got a, I got a box the other day. What flavor?

My daughter's school. What flavor? S'mores. I gotta tell you, I've never been a fan. I always think they're a little hyped up. There are a bed of cookies on the market. Like back in the time when they first came out. I know, you're supporting the Girl Scouts.

Hey, great. That's why I did it. But I always thought there were, there were only six bucks a box. I didn't think it was too bad. I was like, oh, that's not so bad. That six bucks a box. I didn't think it was too bad. I was like, oh, that's not so bad. That's a lot now. I didn't think it was so bad.

Well, they went up. They used to be five bucks, five a box, because I remember you could get four boxes for 20. Oh, okay. So they went up, rightfully so, everything's going up. Yeah. But of course, the mint ones, the love, I will do it. Never.

But now, it's so easy because it's still on the parent, because the parents will like They always knew that I didn't have girls and girl scouts, you know so you hit up those parents or boy moms and You're like, hey, you know, what do you want? And then you just go to the people's house, you know Yeah, and you have your little girl and you know you get to see the little girl I always want to see the mom Yeah, put the kid in the outfit and at least have her wanna see the mom. I can put the kid in the outfit,

at least knock on my door so I can get the cuteness when buying four boxes. Now they just go out in front of a store. They go in front of the pot places, the weed stores. Good, it's great. Yeah, why not? I always felt like the Cub Scouts and the Boy Scouts, whatever they're doing,

we all found out what they were doing. And I felt like they were sitting back, they never looked at the Girl Scouts and goes, we gotta get something over here. Like they're killing it with these cookies. Like why don't we sell beef jerky, something manly, like beef jerky or something. Well now because of the Boy Scouts,

they thought they're whittling sticks in the woods. Well now Girls can be Boy Scouts. Oh good. But then they're still- But the Boy Scouts is gone, isn't it? No. But Girls can be Boy Scouts. Good, have a couple of girls in there.

Keep an eye on things. Well, they make sure my sons were in the Boy Scouts. So there's a whole thing you do. You can never. They get the Boy Scouts or Cub Scouts. Did your boys get into it? Cub, and then you become a boy. I know, so they went through it.

Yeah, but then, come fifth grade, then it was just like too much work, and Peter and I failed. Yeah, I never made it. I feel kind of bad. My two younger brothers, my two older brothers did. I would go do the camping thing and then, like there was this one thing for it

where we went to that museum where the dinosaurs are. Museum of natural history. Yes, yes. And I thought it sounded so fun and it was spend the night in the Guided the museum. Yeah, so I brought and yeah, I brought my other kids to I brought Brickinsey Drake and Brandon and Of course Peter was fucking smart and he's such a pre-medan. He's like I am not doing that

I'm like, well, I'm doing it by one week and not doing stand-up But I'm gonna be the fabulous mother sleep on'm gonna sleep on a hard floor with the kids. Go all the way to LA, down to LA. We do the kind of the fun tour, the eating, and now it's time to set up the beds. Well, I was smart enough to have never brought in the bedding, it was in the car. So I'm like, okay, guys, let's go get our bedding.

And then we got in the car and I go, you know what? Would you guys just wanna get ice cream on the way home and just go sleep in our own beds? And they're like, well, OK. If I could always get them to do what I wanted them to do. They were never like, no, mom, you promised. They're like, all right. I heard it was the worst night ever

because all the dads were snoring with those high ceilings, those acoustical ceilings. It was just like the snoring going back and forth. Sounded like dinosaurs that come back to life. Oh my God, what a nightmare. Yeah, this is the shit I have to be doing soon. All these things you went through, I'm just starting. I feel like the new millennial parents,

which you are not one, but the millennial parents, you're an ex, I'm an ex. Okay, whatever I am. But the millennial parents are kind of smarter about a lot of things that I've noticed it since I've gone back to my school. Like they're more logical, they're not sentimental. They're like, so I feel like they're not gonna be doing

all the dumb shit that we did, the bake sales and all. They're gonna make it that, as long as the kid learns some responsibility, but it shouldn't land on the parent and it shouldn't be a waste of people's time and money to make $12 profit. I know. It's just not worth it.

The bake sale at my daughter's school is so funny because they have one. And then I see the car line dropping the kids off and I'm like, why are we selling brownies for a dollar? This guy's driving a $200,000 car. Can he just give you whatever you need to build some dumb shit? Drake, when he started at Calabasas.

Yeah. First of all, we made him ride his bike to Calabasas. Pretty far. It is. And he then, his freshman year, realized that the vending machines did not have the spicy hot chips. So he went and he copied-

Campaign for? No, he copied somebody else. Somebody else was already selling shit out of this bag. Oh. You know. So he went to Costco and he did that. Got hot jellies. Yeah.

And then those kids came and tried to like start shit with him. And but no, he was making a lot of money.etos? Yeah, and then those kids came and tried to start shit with him. Oh. And, but no, he was making a lot of money. Really? Yeah, and then the school said, okay, now nobody, because the vending machine people were like, what the fuck is going on? No one's buying our vending machine food. And they're like, because we have all these kids that are selling hot Cheetos for like less, like it was like 150 at the thing, he was selling it for a dollar.

And, yeah, so whatever you can do, be an entrepreneur. You just won school president for his campaign, campaign strictly on more peanut butter on the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, not enough peanut butter. And the whole school agreed and he won. Now he's president of the school. I love it, I love it.

I remember I was just trying to run for treasurer and I said, the toilet paper has to be more pli more pli Whatever like sure sure, but anyway, I didn't realize back then everyone hated me then too and I didn't win Chloe Kardashian Got in trouble for face-tuning her cat Wow she face tuned herself and her cat I don't know if it was on purpose. I'm thinking it was by mistake. But that's the real cat at the bottom and the face tune is the top one?

No, no, I think both are face tuned. Oh, because you're saying the same. I mean, don't, it doesn't, if you're face tuning yourself. People face tune their kids. Yeah. Does it face tune so I don't know. I don't even know all the different apps.

But I just thought that was kind of funny. How do you feel about this excess, like these, okay, this wedding, I came across this video, and the girl comes out, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, the Beyonce song, and she's got four of her friends, I don't know if they get out of the bride's wedding dress, they have to wear the single ladies outfit.

This has been going on for quite some time now, the choreographed. And the guy sits there and is, you know, she dances. And I mean, just when you start to watch it, because it's pretty entertaining, by the fourth song of the medley, you're like, we got it. And then I'm always just like, what, first of all, already I can't believe what brides do as far as these

extravagant trips and all these things that the brides needs have to do. But then to be like, okay, and you guys have to commit to like dancing, learning routine and the guys too. And it's all because they want this, they want to get a couple hundred people, couple hundred thousand followers. That's the hope I think.

But what do you do with that then? Nothing. We're gonna follow you and then we're gonna see you in your boring ass house and you're gonna lose those followers. It's not going to be a career because you did a dance at your wedding. But you have to go to rehearsals and stuff. You imagine like having to go to rehearsals at your friend's house for like the wedding? Like what am I doing? We pitched about each other if someone was like late to like one of the one shower you were expected to attend.

Let alone you have to now go to numerous dance rehearsals. I have to go to a wedding on Saturday. I'm going to a wedding on Saturday. I thought I was done with weddings, but I got a friend, who is this? An older friend of mine, he's been a friend for years. First marriage or second? Well, third.

I think it's probably, I could be the fourth, but I believe it is. He's not even 60 yet. And so he asked me to say so he said can you speak it? He doesn't have any family. I think I'm gonna roll dead. Yeah, they're all dead. They all are all dead And I'm like me and my brother and my brother the only reason he didn't ask my brother's brother does not have a microphone Works, he's an idiot and he's like well, I guess Chris can speak You know, I'll let him do it And he asked me if I would speak on Saturday.

And I was like, I don't, like, I don't know. Like you can't do the roasty thing. You do it for 222 year olds that are getting married. You know, so I don't know, I'm just gonna be, just the good luck to you both, you know? For two 58 year old people getting married. Well, I can't believe that when you asked me to officiate your wedding, I thought that I would be besieged with offers

after. You did a great job. Still the only time I've ever done it. Good. Well, you don't want to be. You know what? It was so stressful to me. I loved it, but it was so stressful because, you know, I've been accused in my life of

making it about me. So it's, yes. No, yes. I will not stand here and listen to this. So I think that's a really hard thing to do. But I've said this before, I do think if you're not religious or you don't have a special pastor in your life,

it is great if you can find someone that knows you. Yeah Marry you. Yeah But I love doing it. It was fun. I loved it. It was it was so fun But I I definitely think I definitely yeah, that's the other thing people do the speeches to have it go viral There's one girl. I just saw another one where she gets up and she's like She's young, but she did it to ice, ice baby. The speech? Yeah. Oh.

And the groom and the best man are like, she's like, hey, stop. Everybody now. Now I'm like, this is so bad. When I was in my sorority at Gamma Phi Beta at USC, we had to do sketches. Yeah. We did it. We did a sketch and a rhyme to that because it's very easy to change the words to. Right. So anyway, it wasn't getting a lot of love anyway, but I just am like, oh my god, we did a sketch and a rhyme to that because it's very easy to change the words to. So anyway, it wasn't getting a lot of love anyway, but I just am like, oh my God, just have a good time. Can I bring your guests here?

Can I bring out, I brought some props with me and it actually has to do with a wedding, if you don't mind. Okay, yes, please. I don't know what to wear, honestly. I don't know what to wear to the wedding because it's a wedding of two late 50-year-old people. It's in a restaurant down in Orange County. I don't think it's anything,

like I don't think it's even suity, but I can't wear jeans, of course. I have a suit. Okay, I already know what I think you should wear, but tell me what your thoughts are. What am I deciding between? So the other day, I was like, now, let me tell you my problem with suits.

I have a suit that I think would work. But now the last couple of years, I bought suits for different things that I've had to go to. And then what'll happen is you'll spend seven, 800 dollars on a suit. What about your wedding suit? It looks so nice. You don't want to wear that one again. No, but it's like, the cut is different.

It was six years ago. Like it's already. It's pretty fancy that brown suit. But it's already kind of gone. I think it's, I don't really have it anymore. Anyway, so like I don't want to buy another suit that I'm going to wear once suit. I know, but it's already kind of gone. Gone. All right. I think it's, I don't really have it anymore. Anyway, so like, I don't want to buy another suit that I'm going to wear once and then five years later. Okay.

All right. So then I'm like, I have these slim fit pants. And I look, I saw a guy wearing these type of shoes that I'm about to show you. Okay. And I went and bought, I saw them, I was performing on the night in Ontario. Yes. And I got there early.

You went to the Ontario mall. In Ontario Mills. And next to the improv is like a Nordstrom rack. Nice. Had to kill some time. And I don't have time, it's a Saturday of the wedding. So I bought the shoes that I think are gonna work. For my look that I want.

I'm now going to show you the shoes. I'm wearing them regardless of what you're saying. Oh right. Okay. Are you ready? I'm scared. Remember when you first cut your hair really short? That still is a memory and just a history. I don't want this to be, okay. Now, okay. Okay, wait. Okay. Wait. Okay. Is there a camera? Yes. Okay. There you go Now hey, let me I'm gonna ask you if you're honest opinion. Okay. First of all, I know they look cheap They look cheap, right? They're not like the Gucci one or whatever. I don't know Steve Madden. Okay, you know 60 bucks out the door. Yeah. Yeah Okay, what's that white shit on it? I don't know, it's from something in the bag. Okay.

Too chunky? Do I look a little like Alicia Silverstone and Clueless? I think she wants the same one. I was talking about how I've been obsessed with watching old millionaire matchmakers on Netflix because it's from 2011. The styles, the thin lips, the knot, like everything about it is her.

And her two sidekicks are what I like to call punkers. They'd be called emo today. And if those were bigger bottoms. That's what I was going for, bigger bottom, like the Doc Martin bottom. I think they're fine. It's a big bottom. I honestly think they're fine.

Okay, oh good. I think they're probably gonna be really comfortable. And they're gonna, not that you need to be any taller, but they're gonna not hurt you in the height department. And I don't think they're overly ridiculous. Are they super comfortable? They seem like they- They're fine.

I mean, you know, just for the day, I'm not gonna wear them everywhere. All right, I think I'm good with it. Okay, thank you. That makes me feel good. And then what, a black suit? Like a, kind of like a gray suit. Yeah.

Very slim fitting gray suit. A tie or no tie? No tie. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah, no no tie. I would do crisp white shirt. Very slim fitting gray suit. A tie or no tie? No tie. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah, no no tie. I would do crisp white shirt. That's what I got. Suit, no tie.

Belt or no belt? Of course belt, yeah. Okay, love. Black belt with these. Great, done. Okay, so I can do it? Done, okay. You can do it.

Next thing. Hot iron for your hair. The last time I was here, I mentioned they are. Oh yes, my God. Is this juicy scoop or juicy fashion? The last time I was here I said I was in Vegas. Yeah. And I said I had been there for a week I was performing it for a week in Vegas and I said that you know you get suck on crazy after you're there for a week. Right. And I said I bought myself a pork pie hat. Oh yes. A lot of people were like what is that? What is that? Yeah. Some people said they knew, some people said they didn't.

And they said I need to see the hat. Okay. And I believe that I could pull this off. So here goes. This is what it is. I bought it. Okay. I own this now. Okay. And I don't know if I'm, here you go. Can I be this guy? Absolutely not. I can't. Absolutely not. Why why not Chris. Okay. Why not you went from a good-looking Former model turn comedian. Okay. No, wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on dork Dorky geek wait, what about now? No, no, it doesn't know it's horrific. Okay, it doesn't go together My wife said the same thing. She was mortified.

Absolutely mortified. Now take off the hat and keep the glasses on. Hot, wet, cute. Listen, there's only like 30 bucks. I didn't kill myself over it. So no, no. One more time. What about at the beach?

You know, like I'm at a beach bar. Hey, what's up everybody? You're telling me you're gonna choose that over like a really cool just like worn out baseball hat? No, no, no, I'm saying I could throw different things. But I'm saying a baseball hat with cool glasses. That too. And your style.

Yeah, yeah. This is just one look. Listen, let me tell you something. Okay. It's taken me a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In my just one little. Listen, let me tell you something. Okay. It's taken me a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In my life, to figure out what works for me. All right, I'm at, yeah.

I don't care what comes into fashion or not. Gotcha. Teal length. I will never wear a teal length dress. Do you know what that is? No. That is a dress, and instead of being longer short, it comes right here.

Oh. So all you see are tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny ankles. Yeah. Squirting out the bottoms. Awful look. It'll never happen. It'll never work for me. This is the T-length of hats.

Never going to work for me. Fair enough. Thank you. I will never do a low back deal. Because I don't have a great back. I don't have a great butt. Use what you got. I don't know who that looks good on.

That was so much worse than I ever thought. Like Bruce Willis or something. Didn't he used to, you know, hey. Yeah, but it's, no. No and no. I thought it would just be fun. Chris, we have more stuff to discuss. I'm going to milk out my Chris and use him on a Tuesday show.

Beautiful. But before we go, could you please tell everybody where they can see you live? Well, next weekend I'll be in Philadelphia. I'll be Philadelphia, I'm coming to Philadelphia, the punchline of Philadelphia, February 29th, and March 1st and 2nd, Thursday, Friday and Saturday in Philadelphia, and then Sunday night in the DC improv,

one night only, Sunday night, March 3rd, New York's Comedy Club in Stanford, Connecticut, March 22nd, Auburn Theater in upstate Auburn New York. That sounds classy. It's gonna be real cute. I'm gonna be there. That's the 23rd of March. And then so many, Frenjola dot fun has everything. I'm coming back to Tampa side splitters. That's fun. Improv Danya Beach down there in Florida. All coming up. Frenjola.fun has everything.

Thank you. I of course, HeatherMcDonald.net. I have dates. I'm coming to Palm Beach the weekend of Easter. April 5th or 6th and 7th. Details to come on that. But I'm also 1000 Oaks sold out. What else do I have? I have Scottsdale Friday, May 4th, and then I also have

Temecula June 1 everything is that Heather MacDonald? Oh Denver comedy works. I'm doing that like the 16th and the 17th nice in May may 17 70 work south the classy the class Anyway, Heather MacDonald.net also cover to covers every Tuesday and Thursday as well. Cover to cover to my podcast. Come on and have some fun over there. And then friendjola.funnel is all my ticket links. But go see him live.

Everyone says that you have never been funnier. Oh my God, we're having a lot of fun out here. And then we're gonna have more with you on Tuesday. So we're gonna take, so get ready for the best time of your life. Enjoy your days. Bye.'re going to take, so get ready for the best time of your life. Enjoy your days. Bye. Everyone loves receiving gifts, especially when it's from a loved one. You're like,

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