Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - Did She Kill Her Husband and Nepo Babies on Stage with Josh Wolf

Episode Date: June 15, 2023

The hilarious hot dad Josh Wolf joins me to reminisce about our early Hollywood days. Utah Children’s book author accused of killing her husband’s Google searches are revealed. Josh shares what it was like to be a single dad of 3 kids as a 28-year-old versus what it was like for Ashton Kutcher. Then his equally funny, hot, and taller son joins us to tell us about the Las Vegas UFO sighting. Jacob also shares the struggles he had as a teenager with a hot mom and an equally hot dad. This is a touching and as always hilarious episode. Get extra juice on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop/posts I am performing in Tempe, AZ! Get tickets at: https://heathermcdonald.net/ Subscribe on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@JuicyScoop/featured Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heathermcdonald/ Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heathermcdonald?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherMcDonald Follow Josh on Instagram: @joshwolfcomedy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop. Well, I'm getting ready to go to Tempe. I will be there this Friday, June 16th and 17th. Also on Friday is where you'll get to listen to the extra Juicy Scoop. You go to have the McDonald's.net, click on Patreon. That is where you get really my inner thoughts, topics that are too juicy for the regular show.

You will not be disappointed. Everyone loves it and it's every Friday and so much more. Check it out. All right, let's get into regular show. You will not be disappointed. Everyone loves it. And it's every Friday and so much more. Check it out. All right, let's get into the show. Hey, the McDonald has got the juices, Scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go, juices, Scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales.

Her real life, Mr. Sanctuaryal Data, and serial sister. You'll be addicted and a-ticks it fast to the number one tabloid real life hot cat. Listen in, listen up. Woo-hoo, and a McDonald. Juve Sixth Scoop. Hello and welcome to Juve Sixth Scoop. I have returned favorite.

A lot of people thought you're a model, you're a fitness dude, you have a nice chest. Thank you. Josh Wolf, known as a comedian, but oftentimes just a thirsty dad. Welcome to the show. Do you know every now and then I'll post a thirsty photo without a nut?

So do I, all the time, very proud of it, very proud of the thirst trap. You know what it is for me? When I was younger, I wore kind of baggy clothes, and now that I'm getting older, and I'm like, I don't know how many more of these pictures I'll be able to take, I'm putting them out there. I 100% agree.

And I saw something, I don't know how to say it exactly, but it was one of those things that like, your biggest regret, or like beauty is, what's that thing? Beauty is wasted on the youth or something like. Yeah. You look back at like when you were 28 and you were and I was like, I don't think you can wear a bikini.

Oh my God girl, like what are you talking about? The way, do you know what? I think it's great. Like when we were growing up, when if a woman was gonna wear in my high school, there were like three girls brave enough to wear bikini who felt like they were. And now just young girls were in women wear bikinis.

Doesn't matter what their bodies are. But I know why. I think it's great. Because in our time, which was, I noticed the biggest difference right around my space and Paris-Celton. She was the first person that could openly brag about herself and people were being supportive of the bragging.

And that's what I was like, oh my God, I grew up with the worst thing you could be called by another girl is you're conceited. You think too much of yourself. And now everybody is just social media is all about praising yourself. I mean, can you imagine ever in our day you going on a family trip with your family and being like, no, wait, can you imagine ever and our day you going on a family trip

with your family and being like, no wait, can you just take a picture of me alone? Who would ever just take a picture of themselves alone? And that's all we do now. Is just take a picture of ourselves alone.

That is so much. When we were growing up, the family picture was basically, it was basically the mom getting everyone together and saying one time, everybody looked fucking happy for one picture and everyone was like, yeah. Right, and the dads were like never photographed. That's right.

Because they were the ones taking the picture. Yeah, they were the original insta boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah. My dad looking back was not, you know what else? I growing up, I remember my oldest son Trevor asked me, he was like, how come there aren't more pictures of you when you're a kid?

I'm like, because that's not what we did. Like they took up maybe four pictures of me a year. What number were you out of the boys? Four. You were the youngest too. Yeah. And I'm the youngest. And remember when I talked about that, maybe you don't trust me lately, but we were like all in the writer's room.

And I think all of us but one was a youngest child, and I said, oh my gosh, I remember reading that every president but two is a first born male. And I was like, and I think the opposite is, every comedian is a mistake youngest child that was exposed to way too much shit when they were younger, completely inappropriate, because we were being raised by wild wolves.

How much are there were your brothers and sisters? So it was like, my brother was like nine, eight, when I was born, like nine, eight, six, and then my other sister was two and a half, and then I was way younger than you. Yeah, so then it was just like, I got to see everything, which I absolutely think

made my perspective to be observant, but also inappropriate, and not the president, but in a comedian. But you also figured out because it was kind of your job, anyways, to, for me, as with real to brothers, the way to get them to stop picking on me, or to stop making me do things I didn't like to do was to be the jester. Yeah. You know what I mean? Watch me do this weird funny thing. Yeah.

I remember there's a photo of me with just a grandmother's wig and a pair of heels but naked at like two and a half like dancing in like frame in an album like completely like if that happened today, so I was trying to get that thing photographed today, they would be like FBI at their house. But they were like, she's a performer. We all had naked bath picks in the photo albums. I'm like, looking back, I'm like,

why are these in here? They're like, that's cute. I'm like, yeah, and I know, and we didn't realize. Yeah, we didn't realize that, yeah. 100%. Yeah. There was also a photo that my dad sent to his sister and then when she passed the cousin's brought it back to me.

And it was me, Anna Wigg, and like gloves and all this. And he's like, she's only two, but she goes and finds you, sees and comes out in his characters. And I was like, oh my gosh, look at me now. It really all worked out. Did you? Yeah. Did you, did your parents, were they okay

when you were a teenager trying wine or beer or anything like that? Yeah, I mean, once I got to college, we went on a nappa valley and like, sure, I could have a sip of wine or whatever and I think they probably knew We went to parties and had like wine coolers But my older brothers and sisters were such Fuckups and disappointments that I would there'd be times where I'd wake up and I'd be like eight

You know and they'd be in their pit jamas and they'd been up all night and one of them didn't come home or gotten a car accident And I remember I'm just turned to me and said, if you or your sister Shannon, who, my sister's, we never got in trouble, never grounded once, she's an attorney, we were just like, we're the two younger mistakes. And she goes, if you and your sister ever disappoint us like this,

we're just gonna kill ourselves. And I was like, good morning. No pressure. No pressure. But I never, I never tried pot because of that, or cocaine. I, I was like, good morning. No pressure. No pressure. But I never tried pot because of that or cocaine. I can't. And I have had a brownie and like things since then. But in college, when I tried pot, when I tried the bong, everyone...

Love that you call it pot and the bong. Yeah. So I'm in college now. Never tried it in high school. Yeah. And my mom also used to say, if you're ever wondering about trying something, just say, just always imagine your parents watching you,

which also made me stay average until I was 27. Oh, yeah, that was good. So anyway, I took the ball and it was like, I remember being in there like, here, try it like these guys, whatever. I'm like, all right, I could try a pot now. I'm like 19 or 18. And I'm just lighting it and the holding it

and then they're yelling at me and I'm like sucking it. There's a lot of complicated hand-to-eye movement. Like I don't do video games and I'm not athletic. And I was like, you know what, I just don't think this is for me, it was just too complicated. I've never heard somebody describe smoking a bong as athletic before. Well, I felt like you had to have a lot of things

going on at the same time. It's just this part. No, you have to light it. Then you have to hold it have a lot of things going on at the same time. It's just this part. No, you have to light it. Yep. Then you have to hold it. And you have to suck it at the right time. Yep. What does this sound like?

Too much. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Again, not great at that either. Not great at that either. When I met you, you were a virgin? You were a virgin. Yes.

Well, we met when you were 20s. Yeah. Yeah. And were you talking about that? I never, never would I share that. Because never. Yeah, non-stage, you didn't talk about that. Never.

I acted like a slut all the time. Did you? I'm dry, hopped and drank, up and down sunset, Boulevard. What a great name for an album. But no, but no. Dry, hopped and drank it. Yeah. I had jokes that made me look like a slut.

Everything. How come you wanted to appear like a slut? Not a slut. But how come you wanted to? How come? Because I knew everyone would just think it was super weird and whenever I did reveal it to anybody, they would just assume I was a super Christian

or if they did. Because I would like just want a boyfriend to have, you know, if I wanted to be your boyfriend, so I wanted to wait enough till they be a boyfriend. But then if I revealed it, they were like, oh my god, this girl's gonna like, want to have maybe a baby and marry me like, goodbye. Right. And which wasn't the case at all.

And then when I finally did do it, it was fine. Like, it wasn't even like, it was a guy dated, significant, like not significantly, but he was like a good guy, new college, but he didn't want to be my boyfriend. But at that point, I was like, fine, you care. Let's get it over with. But I totally regret that.

Regret waiting? Yeah. The only positive stuff is that I think it kept me really focused on my career and stuff, because I was never going to put something aside or blow off a standup date for a dude, which a lot of my friends would do. They moved with a guy or do whatever. Yeah.

And I didn't have that. And so then... I will tell you for me, I'm glad I had kids young. Because it kind of did the same thing. Yeah. Where I was like, I don't have time for all this other fuck about stuff. Yes. Do you know when I went...

I think what I want to say, I notice there is kind of been an interesting thing. I've noticed lately that either people are not getting married at all or they are choosing to get married a little bit younger than like our age. I agree. You know how it was like no one should get married before 30 kind of a thing. When I'm seeing couples getting married, even my friends' kids that are, you know, just got out of college, they're like 25, 26, they got married a year and a half ago, they just had their first baby and they went to U of A and like, and I was like, oh, that's, you know, kind of interesting.

And I've noticed it's happening more and I do think it's great because I do think a lot of people then all of a sudden aren't fucking around until they're 35 and they're actually like buying a home, buying their, you know, finances. I've noticed there's a movement towards getting you married a little younger. Focus is you in. I know when I started going back to the comedy store out to these places, I found that a lot of comics,

they were like, oh, we thought you were so aloof. I'm like me. And they said, yeah, you would do your set and go home. I was like, I had a family. Yeah. What do you think I'm gonna hang out with you until one in the morning and talk about my set?

Like, that's not, do you know that it took me out of that world all together? Yeah. Yeah, I really, and it made also, it really focused in on what was important. I have one serious question for you because your son is here now. Tall, drink a water. I'm going to have, how do we have, oh, boss, so tall. We fed them. Yeah.

Yeah. I've said this before, but, it's not so tall. And we fed them. Yeah. Yeah. I've said this before, but I gave Drake too much pediatric. Look at him. I know. I know. And then I heard from a bunch of other moms that are like, oh my God, I did the same thing. My son is like, now, six, five, size 15 foot.

I'm telling you, anybody that has a small kid, buy that fucking pediatric. You and Peter are tall. I know. He would have been tall anyway, but I swear to God, I think that Peter sure had something to do with it. He's half Jewish, half Asian. There's no height in either one of those. There's no reason he should be over 5'8". Well?

Do you know what I mean? That's a small group of people. It can happen. Yeah. It can happen for you. Okay, I have a question for you because it's etched in my brain and it was pretty disturbing. So we were good friends. We talked on the phone about where we're going to do stand at that night. Okay, I have a question for you because it's etched in my brain and it was pretty disturbing.

So we were good friends. We talked on the phone about where we're going to do stand up that night. And Jacob was a baby, like maybe under one. And I called you in the afternoon about doing a gig. And Joey Diaz was over and you said, Joey Diaz is in the bath with Jacob right now. Was he really physically in the bath? Because at the time I did imagine him in the bath. No, no, no, he didn't take baths with Jacob right now. Was he really physically in the bath? Because at the time I did imagine him in the bath. No, no, no, he didn't take baths with Jacob.

He didn't take baths with Jacob, but Joey was a great babysitter. Let me balance that out. Okay. For anyone who says no, Joey is hilarious, but you know, very edgy. Okay, so an edgy life. Yes, and I, here's what I didn't have.

So he was, except just to put me to ease, because I, he's not in a bad. Can you tell you the vision that has never gone away from my brain? Not in the bath. First of all, if Joey and Jacob were in the bath, I don't think he could fit.

There's not a lot of room for water. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what it's like, two drops. But I will tell you, here's how I balanced it out. I didn't have, you know, I was making $1,000 a month. Yeah. And I was raising three kids in one room by myself. So it's not like I had a lot, you know, I was making $1,000 a month. Yeah. And I was raising three kids in one room by myself. So it's not like I had a lot of disposable income,

but I still wanted to go out and do my sets. Joey was a free babysitter. Yes. Now, I will say that although some of his methods were, what would, what's the rate? On orthodox. That's a good, I will tell you this. I, the one thing I loved about Joe as a babysitter is that, look, my $10 an hour babysitter,

if shit goes down, is not take, Joey's jumping in front of a bus for my kids. He likes it. Yeah, yeah. So what was important now, I will tell you, one time I came home, and he was a bigger dude back then, he didn't wear underwear. And so Heather, one day, he's like, I come in, he goes, okay, kids, everybody, we have cleaned up the toys. And he bends over in Caitlin,

who was probably my daughter, who was probably four or five of the time, ripped some hair out of his ass crack and goes, how many? And he goes, oh, it felt like five that time. I go that time. And he, I go, what do you mean that time? And he goes, oh, she loves that game.

I go, yeah, but I fucking hate it, dude. I go, can't you mean that time? And he goes, oh, she loves that game. I go, yeah, but I fucking hate it, dude. I go, can't you find another game like Monopoly or something? He's like, she loves it. I go, no, just the end of that game. But, but like, so yeah, it was a different, but being raised by me was different also. I was an unorthodox parent also. Well, I have some topics that I want to cover with you,

specifically because you have such a unique background, being that you were a single father of three and struggling community before you got married to your beautiful wife. By the way, her movie is number five on Netflix right now. Tell everybody about it. It's called Forever My Girl. You know, it was a couple of years ago.

So there was a few years ago. Yes. And she's a director. She's a director. And she wrote and directed it. I jazze Jacob today. I'm like, how long do these things usually stay in the top 10? He said a week. It's already not only has it been in for two weeks, it's climbing. And it's climbing without Netflix putting it on their front page without them advertising it. It's all word of mouth. Netflix putting it on their front page without them advertising it. It's all word of mouth. It's a beautiful romantic comedy. Would you call it? I would say it's a great thing to watch with your kids or teenage daughters or teenage boys, whatever. It feels very Nicolas Sparks. Yeah, it's really really great. And so and and I'm so proud of her that it's doing this all on its

own on its own merits without them helping, she's a rock star, man. Well, we're gonna talk about her too late. Okay, first I wanna talk about this story. Are you familiar with the story? This woman who lives in Utah was married to the sky, and he was very suspicious that she might be trying to poison him, and even told his family, they were on a trip, he had something,

he was almost, you know, really sick. He told his sister, like, a trip. He had something. He was almost, you know, really sick. He told his sister, like, if anything happens to me, check out her. And she said, oh, my God, I gave him a Moscow mule. Then I went into my kids room and like fell asleep. And when I got back in there, he was dead, but he's had a problem with a drug, a illicit drugs. Anyway, I made sure to, I think she cremated whatever. And then people came forward saying, I sold her fentanyl and she's now, you know, been arrested, okay.

And her searches on her iPhone? Okay, so I have them. The searches on the iPhone are amazing. They are so good, so I just highlighted a few. Okay. Okay, so here we go. These are really some fun ones. Okay. So the blue, as you can see, if you're watching this on YouTube, the blue are the things that pertain to the

case and the other ones are not. Okay. So can you delete everything on an iCloud account? Can you delete everything on an off on an old iPhone without actually having it? Can you delete messages that have been retrieved? Can you change the password remotely of a lost cell phone? Can you delete messages? It continues. What to do when cops seize electronics? What information can be obtained? But then also in between our lakefront ranches for sale.

Montana ranches for sale by a lake. Tennessee ranches for sale. Oh, she'd like to buy a ranch after she knocks him off. Yeah. Then another one, oh, she's getting a little worried. You top prisons. My favorite one is one of the bottles. How to undo microblading.

That's when you do your brows and you don't love them. Girl, what do you do? Between killing the husband, worrying about the, that she's gonna get caught, she's like, these fucking eyebrows are a piece of shit. What about the bottom one? That's the one that got me the most. Easter Bunny quote. Yeah. Just the most. Easter Bunny quote.

Yeah. Just try it. Easter Bunny quote. Look, you're just looking for some fun. Just be in a mom. Just be in a mom. OK, it gets better. Sorry, I hopped past your life.

OK, then OK. What are you allowed inside Utah, Jails? Then let's see, life insurance will pay, will life insurance pay death certificate if it says pending. Death certificate says pending, you know, continues. Then this little Nos X Mary is little Nos Gay. Chick-fil-A.

I know how Kevin getaways, fuck, I'm getting stressed. The kid about my death. What's Bronx and Donk's sleeping bag? I think she was looking for a cute sleeping bag for one of the kids. Bronx and Donk sounds like a terrible gay think she was looking for a cute sleeping bag for one of the kids. Bronx and Donk sounds like a terrible game. Kelly picked her husband. I'm single.

What's up with Kelly Pukkos' husband? I mean, it gets so good. Okay, then it's getting better. Okay. I could have done this all day, but I want, okay. If someone is poison, what does it go down on the death certificate as? That is so specific.

That is like... It gets more specific, because she wasn't totally sold on the fentanyl. Right. So then she was like, what is Naloxon? Is Naloxon similar to heroin? What is Presumptusitive?

I don't know what that is. Can you over dose on Nal Trexone, nor fentanyl. Then she's like, beachfront hotels in California. Adults only resorts near LA. California women escape, get away. There's nothing a girl needs more that a girl's get away after she... Murderer, her murderer husband.

These girls, he's dead, we, we need a get away. Wine weekend, ladies. If we were writing this on a show. They take too much. They take Two. This is too far. Yeah, this is too far. Yeah, this is amazing. The California women escape getaways is like I know I Is she gonna tattoo in parks? I think she might get what she's like, you know what? Like Again, remember the tattoo that the girl that killed her little baby. What was it? KC. Anthony. Yeah, she got a tattoo too. You know, live and let live or something. Bellow

light for my. Yeah, a tattoo. You always want to end one chapter with a tattoo. I mean, this girl. Good luck being heard. I said it to my sister, the defense attorney. I mean, this girl, good luck being her defense. I said it to my sister, the defense attorney. I go, I'm gonna send you something, I'm gonna fucking blow your mind because I always talk to her and her husband. And I'm like, they have such great stories of just like, their worst clients,

where they're like, okay, I can't deal with the job. How do you deal with your sister? Is this defensible, what would your sister say? I haven't talked to her, I will talk to her about it. I said it to her, I love to always get her perspective. And she can always pull something out of her asshole to make someone possibly make them wonder. Make them wonder.

Make them people wonder. Let me ask you a question. If you were worried about Peter poisoning you. Yeah. How many times would you have to be worried before you were like, you know what, I'm gonna pull out of this marriage. if this guy how long had he been telling people she might kill me that he still stuck around it was like a couple years

and then he also changed the policy which she thought she was getting an all he changed it to like his sister but why stick around if you think your wife is murdered what kind of murder you yeah i mean maybe maybe he didn't maybe he wasn't that worried, but he was just throwing it out there. But I think if this, if Peter did kill me and then we pulled up his Google things, Drake was like, can you imagine what dads would be?

It would be like fentanyl fentanyl. What are the 10 best golf resorts in the world? Trips to Ireland? How much is a first-class trip to Ireland? Should I pop out to Scotland after? Is there a golfing dating site? What's it called the 19th hole? Yeah.

Where you just go find people who like to golf? Listen, he does not want a girlfriend who golfs. No, that's the escape spot. Yeah, no, yeah. No, it would all be about golf and like, yeah. And just spending my money and fancy ice cubes under whiskey. My outside of the death searches, if I was trying to kill Beth,

it would just be like, how do I stay alone? Basically, if I'm killing Beth, it's just because I don't wanna be around other people. Do you know what I mean? So where can I go where nobody will find me? Would be my search. Well, I think about what I would do in prison so much that I'm like scared that I'm like manifesting me.

Yes. And so I'm like, please, I don't want it. I just think like worst case scenario, like what would I do? And two of the, the, the, the former real housewife, Jen Shaw, she's from Salt Lake City, actually. So maybe this girl can join her. And now Elizabeth Holmes from One Drop of Blood, that girl's in the same prison.

Yeah, I'm really? They're in the same prison, and allegedly they're working on, or the Jen Shoff Salt Lake one is working on a play, that they're gonna do, we'll put on a little play about real housewives. Oh my God. So, in jail?

In jail. So 100% that- Would you go to that? I would be in it obviously. I mean, I'm just saying, if I'm there, that's why she looked up like luxury. You should. And this girl also looked up luxury, um, prison. Prison?

It's like, where does a rich person go who gets convicted of murder? Do you remember? Was it Robert Downey Jr.? I think you've been requests. I don't think you can. I have allergies. Um, can I please go to this one? Do you have a gluten free menu?

Yeah. Do you have something that's not a hot dog? Do you have borbalone? Do you have any? I can't eat any processed meats. Yeah. I'm on a no-night trait diet on my meats. So you remember natural born killers?

Yeah. Was it Robert County Jr. who played the interviewer? You could go interview them in jail. Yeah. Who it Robert County, Jr. who played the interviewer? You could go interview them in jail. Yeah. Who would you rather interview? Elizabeth Holmes or Jen Shaw? I mean, now kind of Jen Shaw, because all the interviews leaning up to it, she would lie about the fact that she ran this, this business that was, I mean, so bad. She didn't minute yet? Yeah. I mean, now she, yeah, she had to admit it because she didn't go to trial. So she did admit it to do less time, which is a lot, still nine years.

But no, she ran this whole thing, and they had all, I listened to like a long podcast that had the voice mails and the conversations and the text messages being read out by actors of how like blatant the scam was of getting old people to think that they were gonna have this like eBay business and then tricking them into spending money on this and then you know, it was a complete scam, like a really bad marketing scam. I think if I went to jail and that I'm thinking about it,

I would try to teach a standup class. 100% no, I would absolutely get the inmates involved in the arts. Yeah, I think so. Podcasting 101. I always thought, first they would be like, who is this skinny bitch from the valley? Yeah. I mean, probably first they wouldn't want to be my friend.

Yeah. But once they knew I could like imitate the guards and stuff, then we would be good as gold. I think laughter goes a long way. Yeah. All the skills you learn as the youngest child, they translate to prison, I think. But that being said, I don't want to go. Okay?

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Speaking of little naws, he just didn't want to perform the other day. I was it. He didn't perform, because he didn't feel like it. He said, I had a bad day, and I don't want to perform. He had a concert, and he didn't go. That's, can you look this up to really quick, because I were, or Jacob, I'm not totally sh- I read this quickly, but I just, but why we looked that up. Have you ever done that? Never ever. I would never. Ever. I'm not totally, I read this quickly, but why we look that up.

Have you ever done that? Never ever. I would never ever. I, because you know what I would think? This will be the last show I ever do. There's been times where mostly when I just don't want to pack, because I have a very hard time picking out a good stand-up outfit still to this day.

I was trying on outfits for Drake, fully dressed. I'd walk out. And I was like, is this to like the lady in hacks? Yeah, like no, no just now because we're going to Tempe this weekend and he's coming with me and because he's going to look at houses for himself to rent and he can help me like write notes and stuff. But anyway, so I was like is this cool? Like I think I should be a little dressed up but at the same time it's a little like I'm getting to that age where I look like the woman in hacks, you know what I mean?

It's so. So it's a fine line, but then I don't want to be that girl that's like dressing too sloppy because- He's on the road with me. Yeah. And I ask him the same questions. I'm like, are these jeans too tight and sometimes he's like, those jeans are too tight? Or should I wear this shirt? I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- little nausea scoop, okay, for him. Least this girl is interested in him the one that

could have been. Okay, he left the stage for about five to ten minutes at the beginning of the show due to technical difficulties. After explaining the tech issues, he said he had a bad day and just didn't want to do it. Little nausea that X then performed very begrudgingly and it was a total downer. I mean, he could be a downer in this outfit. Other sources who attended the concert told us a little Nas extancers partially had to carry the show for the Old Town Road singer because ongoing issues with this mic.

We're told he was looking forward to the performing at the fest, but grew frustrated on Sunday after experiencing the technical snapples. That I can relate to being annoyed when there's something not right. There are a lot of logistics that were off. Okay, so basically that's it. Do you know Eric Churches, the country singer Eric Churches? Yeah, yeah.

A couple of years ago, North Carolina played Duke in a basketball game. It's a huge game, right? I think he was a fan of one of the two teams. He had a show. I think he'd sell 40,000 tickets. I think I remember the story, yeah. Remember, and he canceled because it was a once in a lifetime game

that he wanted to go to with his family. Well, where do you fall in that? Okay, first of all, let's go to take my kid. It was for him. There's no doubt. Of course. Of course it was for him. Of course, of course. That's always the thing you can throw in.

Like as your kid is like, your kid is hardly like, you know, and you haven't had a lot of great experiences being that their dad's a number one country. So yeah, okay. And kids are great excuses to get out of shit, but like, but you know, it's your big team, blah, blah, blah. I'm just saying, if a woman did that, if I was doing a stand-up show, and I was like, guys,

I'm sorry, but my really fabulous friend, her yacht just got finished being made. Yeah. And we're going to be gonna. It does sound different. So I'm sorry, it's a once in a lifetime thing. Drake wants to golf in Greece. I'm sorry, I'm not doing the show.

Yeah, that would destroy me. And they'd be like her kids a little shit. And she all she cares about is materialistic stuff. It would be completely different. I think he got wrecked online. I think there was a big, I think there was a lot of people who were like we bought tickets. Here's the thing that a lot of us forget.

Not only people buying tickets, but for a show like that, people are flying in from out of, they're getting hotels, they're getting babysitters, they've already spent all of this money. Look, it is really hard to walk out. And I mean, this has happened to me, where something happens, bad news, or... Now, like, if I'm in a kind of mood or arguing with, like, Peter or whatever,

I will be like, I have to perform in a few hours, goodbye. You know? But there's been times where, like, that's happening. And you have to perform in a few hours, goodbye. You know? But there's been times where like, that's happening, and you have to go on stage and then tell these funny, cute stories about your family. But that is our job as a performer. And I'm sure there's people that work at Nordstrom or McDonald's that wake up

and are not really in the mood to do the job either. Too bad. That's what you have to do. Suck it up. Yeah. Listen, for me, I could never be like, yeah, dude, I want to go to this game. I'm going to cancel this.

It's hard. I'm trying to think, obviously, we all canceled shows over COVID or whatever. But I've walked out, I was in Connecticut at the Wellhegan Sun. And I legit had 103 degree temperature. And I was in my hotel room, the guy was like, I'll get on a cancel the show.

And I was like, I'm here. Like, what, I can either be alone and miserable in my hotel room and the guy was like, I'll get on a cancel the show. And I was like, I'm here. Like what, I can either be alone and miserable in my room or miserable on stage. I'm just gonna be miserable on stage. Like if I'm already there. Did you even have someone give you like a Justin Bieber like B12 shot or something? I know that first night was a blur.

That first night was a straight. And I thought I was like, you know what I'm gonna try to do? I'll maybe weed'll help. It did not. It definitely fogged everything right up. Well, what I fated on stage, it's Teppey and Proff, which my triumphant returned,

already happened once because I had to make up those two sold out shows, but now I'm coming back. The first, when I opened my eyes, I was like, oh, this is going to be hard to finish this show. The guy's like, no, we canceled it. I go, okay, but then we'll just do the 9.30. He's like, no.

Yeah. And you have to go to the hospital. And then Drake was in the audience. And, you know, the ambulance, they called the ambulance as they should. You know, they don't know if I'm having a stroke or dying, but I just fainted. And Drake was like, dad will kill us if we go in the ambulance.

Absolutely not. Absolutely not. And then his equally cheap sister was there. And she's like, I'm driving her. I love that you were like, can't afford it. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Because I'm sure the club called an ambulance, right?

Of course they did. And the ambulance drivers, very cute. And they were like, you know, who's the president and all this other stuff. And I'm like answering it. And they're like, okay, but you have to sign this thing because we highly recommend that you go and the ambulance with us.

And I'm like, no, I know it costs like $3,000. And Drake is like, absolutely not. Like, no, I'm here. I'm here to take over. And we can, she is fine to sit in the back seat of the car with me. And we've got there and I did survive. That is amazing.

You always wonder what the kids pick up from which parent? Do you know what I mean? But. I mean? But. I mean, I gave birth so that Peter could have a best friend. That's the only thing. Yeah. I mean, I feel like that kind of happened with me. Yeah.

Drake has, Drake, both the kids have qualities, both of us. Yeah. So I see the qualities. What has he got of yours? He is, he does not get upset easily. He gets over stuff quickly. Like if he does get easily. He gets over stuff quickly. Like if he does get upset, he gets over stuff quickly, which is me.

And he has a good sense of humor. And he does enjoy juicy scoop. He does enjoy like me telling a story and we can talk the whole way on a drive about stuff. So I like that. For a straight boy, I'm impressed. So I'm in Vegas. He loves the show. That live show, by the way, was so fun. Oh, yeah, you guys came. Thank you for coming. It was so fun. Yeah.

And I love, and this is just me and my own personal bias. I love watching you in Chris. I know it's the best. I love watching you in Chris. You have great shorthand on stage, but those old clips of you guys are just so good. We shared the old clips, so hopefully, it's too late now, you can't buy the streamer, hope you didn't, but no, we had some of those old clips and they were so, I mean, it made it really fun. I'll share more of those in the future,

but okay, let's move on to the next topic. Okay, again, interesting about your life. I don't know how much you want to share. But this girl and this guy, they were married. She was a real housewife of Atlanta. She was a former football player, a few years younger than she. She had two kids from previous relationships they had four together. Their whole persona was, they had TV shows and everything about how in love they were,

how he catered to her. It was so much in love. Tons of Photoshop photos of my hot husband, my hot wife. They announced they were getting divorced. Pretty shocking. I mean, nobody saw it coming. Some people wonder if it was fake. It's unfortunately not fake.

It's very contentious divorce. He is now saying he wants a guardian for the kids while they're separate. First, he wants full custody. But in the meantime, he wants a court-appointed guardian because he's afraid she's going to go on the show back on Atlanta Housewives and talk about them. He says she's abusive. He says she drinks and she gambles too much that she's a reckless driver. And that she physically assaulted him.

So he did the, you know, I'm filing a restraining order. And he's a former football player and, you know, okay. And so this is just a whole ugly thing that's happening between the two of them. What's his name, do we know? Kory Berman. Okay, not a huge football star, I don't think, right? I mean, I'm pretty sure shortly after they got married,

I don't even, maybe two years, then he then stopped playing. Got it, got it, got it. And then, you know, they had all the shows and all the stuff, but she did gamble. She, he showed, there's court things that people have pulled up where she spent $127,000 in one month. Gambling? Online gambling stuff.

See, but this is stuff, like, do you think this is all a surprise to him? Like, do you know what I mean? Like, she hit all this stuff going in. Do you think some of it, they were part, they had fun party people together? I think he was totally whipped and completely under her spell and put up with it, put up with it. And then they started having severe money problems for closure stuff, only a million dollars. And then the show stopped,

so they didn't have to keep performing. And then I just think all the truth came out, and then I got to a place that was so ugly that they both had baby fallen out of each other and they finally said all the ugly shit. And then there was no coming back. And she's just like, F off, you know, and he's like, oh my God, I've given up, he doesn't talk to his parents, he f off, you know, and he's like, oh my God, I've given it.

He doesn't talk to his parents. He doesn't, you know, all this stuff. So now, yeah, it's a big, big mess. Can I tell you what I really think? And their kids are like 11, and nine and seven. This is the thing. Like, whatever you're going to do with each other, when you start airing, you have kids, you start airing that shit in public.

I think you're both bad people. I think you're both self-serving, egotistical people, because at the end of the day, it should be about, okay, we're gonna split up, but let's not drag them through it all. Well, in their defense, these are public records. They're not necessarily... But they're talking about it.

A little bit, not totally, not totally on Instagram and stuff, but people are writing stuff about it because they are public figures. Yeah, but they are going this route of mutual restraining orders and he locked me out and he's stealing this for me. No, she's stealing me. This for me. They're tit for tat going. I want all the kids. She said I want him tested for weed because he smokes weed. I want to take piece of his hair. I don't think he's a good enough dad. Like, and then she always has a shard and a red solo cup. Oh no, she's a boozer. So it's like, it's, yeah. Can I tell you, Beth locked me out once. Well, on her birthday, we were in San Francisco.

Yeah. And she came home, she was like, I'm gonna go home early, I don't wanna stick around for the late show. I'm not gonna say that. But you're doing stand-up there. Stand-ups there. Who does?

Does it get it? If what's that? Who does one stick around for the late show? Right, yeah, not even me. And so she goes, I'm gonna go back to the hotel. Well, she went back to the hotel and dead bolted the door. Okay. So I couldn't get in, so I go down to the front desk. Yeah. And I'm like, hey, she dead bolted the door. Okay. So I couldn't get in, so I go down to the front desk.

Yeah. And I'm like, hey, she dead by the door. And he was like, I don't know what to do. I go, can you get maintenance or something? And he was like, you want to sleep? Could she dad asleep? Dad asleep. Okay.

And so I had to rent another room. I had to write and stay in that room. I woke up to angry text from her. You. Oh, on my birthday, you decided to stay out all night? I mean, it was like a list. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, oh, you out, where the fuck are you? Well, you out all night from my birthday? And I was like, check the door. And then two seconds later, I got a text in my bed. But she thought I had stayed out all night on her birthday, because she had decided to come just because I don't want to stick around and see your

late show. And she started, she was like, I've seen that said a hundred times. I need to say. Look, I don't know if you'll remember this, but we were on the road with Chelsea. I, you guys, we were drinking and what a crazy night, but whatever drinking eating. And I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. And I don't know. sometimes I just do that. My friends say I like abruptly just like, end the night, I go to bed.

So I go to my room and I didn't double lock it. I just, whatever, locked it normal. I'm completely asleep. I do remember this. And I fucking, you guys came into my room and I literally had that moment like this is the end. I will get raped and murdered. This is the end.

And you, what were you guys able to just because she's Chelsea, you just able to get the key to my room because she was paying for it? Is that the craziest thing? She went to the front desk. And we were there. We went to the front desk and she was like, I'd like to get into room, whatever, 302.

And the woman checked and she was like, that's not your room. She was like, yeah, but someone I know was staying in that room, I'd like to get into room, whatever, 302. And the woman checked and she was like, that's not your room, she was like, yeah, but somebody I know is staying in that room, I'd like to keep. And the lady was like, okay, that was it. I was like, is it that easy? And for a famous person to get any hotel room key, they wanted it was.

She was just like, okay, gave her the key. We got a hotel escort up to the room that wasn't ours. Yeah. And the guy waited out there for us. I mean, what it was just to scare me, right? Just scare you, yeah. Yeah, that's nice. There was one time.

I was on my way from my family making a living. And then, of course, you have to go along with it, because it's just like a cult thing. You had to pretend like it was fun. Alaron Hubbard told you to do it. Do you remember Jeff Will's? Jeff Will's, who, one night we were in, you were there for this, we were in Seattle.

Yeah. Willes had gone to bed, it was me, you Brad and Chelsea. And she called, woke him up in the middle of the night because we were upstairs in her room doing whatever. Yeah. And he came up, she opened the door, he was like, what is it, what is it? She opened the door, slammed like a pie in his face,

shut the door, and then just never went back to the door again. Well, when she, when that's what your top client does, you go to your room and you go in the shower, you walk like cut. That's what he did. That's what he did. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty crazy. But what do you go, What's Hollywood really like?

What is really like, you guys? You know what? You don't say anything when someone's paying the bills. That one with wheels made me laugh because he. Well, sure made you laugh. Yeah. I don't think he was laughing the whipped cream

out of his nostrils. He did look disappointed. He was like, is this it? And she just shut the door and I was like, wow, that was a pretty well played. Yeah, yeah. I honestly, I have to tell you, like this type of,

the elevation of two people who I would have never heard of before. It reminds me of, I asked him the other day, I'm like, who's this dude with the mustache? That's understandable, yeah. That I'm seeing all over my, why do I know something about him? But we're elevating people for doing terrible things. Yeah.

Or do you know what I mean? It's such a weird thing. The reason we know mustache dude. Well, with that, and people are very glad to know it was a lot of you, a man or a pump episode because I've talked a lot about it. Right. But really why that was just,

what crazy is because it was just a real story about a couple that had been together nine years and her best friend who was in the friend group was sleeping with her boyfriend behind her back for seven months. And you could just talk about that forever. Right. Either it's happening to you or you know somebody or you can sympathize with one side or whatever and it just sparked so much conversation for so many months and that is why it became huge.

It wasn't necessarily like the greatest show on earth, it just sparked such an interesting conversation. That's why. Yeah. It's weird though that we end up elevating people who otherwise we would never talk about because they're doing shitty things. I just think with this, this is the classic of, again, I feel like the reason I talk about this stuff is because it can always be related to somebody that's not famous at home.

That's true. And now that everybody has, you know, Facebook and Instagram and everything, and there's those people that constantly brag about their spouse and their love for each other. And I've made jokes about it where it's the long diatribe of, you know, our anniversary, you know? And it's like 14 years ago today. I married my best friend.

And so I used to talk about it on my act where I literally did one time did one that year for our anniversary. And I was really honest about it. And I was like, 14 years ago today, I was 29. And my mom told me my eggs were drying out. Two weeks later, I married you. Because you had a condo. And I was 18,000 days old. later I married you. Yeah. Because you had a condo. Yeah.

And I would eat. And I was 18,000 dollars in credit card debt from buying costumant wigs for the crown. It's like, no. And then I'm like, and then 15 years later, it's okay. We're still doing all right. Our kids are tall. Yeah, we see each other every day.

Yeah, we don't hate each other most days. Yeah, we both drink. It's fine. I will tell you, Beth is a very sentimental woman. Yes, she is. So she wants, she wants posts. And I'm always like, I don't know what else, she was like, I don't post anything you've already posted. I'm like, I don't know what else to say 20 years in.

Yeah. I haven't said great ass yet, but I don't know what else to say 20 years in. Yeah. I haven't said great ass yet, but I don't think that's the post you're looking for. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yes it is. Oh, what do you hear? Oh, yes it is. Okay.

Please do that. That's what I'm doing. Yes. For her birthday, that's what I'm doing. Just say this ass. You know, a lot of people, there's always a post too where it's like, these dramatic things where it's like a woman's hands

or a thirsty one where she like shows like a cellulite, but it's like she has a perfect body and it's like one dimple and it's like these dramatic things where it's like a woman's hands or a thirsty one where she like shows like a cellulite But it's like she has a perfect body and it's like one dip dimple and it's like yeah I've cellulite but this cellulite body carried three children. That's right. It's built a business. It's made a meal It's taken my mother's to chemo and everyone's like you're right Who put aside that dimple and you're just like, you know, so you have to write one What is I like this ass and get a good photo of hers because she doesn't have a good ass. This ass has, you know, and then it's just like

traveled the world with me, taken photos of me, stayed for the late show, locked me out of the world, accused me of cheating. This ass is worth it. Just whatever. That's a great one. And she does have a great ass. By the way, if I'm being honest,

and I'm 53, my ass has never looked better. Congrats. I don't know what's going on, but it's up there right now. I'm feeling pretty good, right, Jackie? Don't look at me. I know what you're going to draw. We can only get better. OK, here's, I always thought this was so interesting.

So Talu LaWillis, who is the daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, former stepdaughter of Ashton Kutcher. She recently spoke about feeling forgotten amid her mom's marriage. I always thought there were so many photos where these kids would be like, the girls were just looking up. And remember, there was so much press

about how he's the greatest stepdaughter on earth, how he loves being a dad to these girls, but he was significantly young to be a stepdad, which you can kind of relate to. And then, but anyway, she says it was like 2003 and my mom had just started dating Ashton and I really went inside myself. That did send me into like a total dumpster fire.

It was really hard, a lot to unpack. And then Ashton, on becoming a stepfather, said, I was 26 bearing the responsibility of an eight-year-old, a 10-year-old and 12-year-old. He also said on his divorce to more a wholesale fucking failure, so it didn't end nicely. And then she said to Lula said, in the past, I was so afraid of being destroyed by sadness,

but finally, feel that I could show up and be relied upon. Okay, so anyway, she's... Look at that guy right there. Yeah, that her dad is, you know, sick and everything. And this probably why come up to the story. But yeah, there were so many pictures where some of the older, the older girl would be like, I'm like, I mean, your stepdad is like 10 years older than you and frickin hot as shit. When you look at that guy or you're like, I bet he's a good dad. That picture right there of that guy, you're like, oh, he wants to be a dad.

No. I think he was. I'm sure, but it's 26. Yeah. You look this way and you're Ashton Kutcher. Okay. I remember Guy Brandon was in that, he Guy Brandon was in a movie with Ashton Kutcher. Yeah.

And Natalie Portman. And he took me to the premiere of it. And we were hanging out with Scout, I think it was. And one of the daughters. And Demi was there, and Ashton was there, I think. And somehow he ended up in a car ride going to the next party with Ashton Cooktor. And he said he was talking, and Demi and the girls

were so like an awe of everything he said. They were very like, he's the man. He knows everything. he's very respectful. And I read Demi's book and it was very much like that. You would think that maybe because she was the experience like older woman, it was, and it was like they, they really made him like the man of the house. And, you know, as somebody who had kids young.

So tell your, tell explain, just for Pila, don't know how you ended up with your kids. I met a woman she had two kids, and then we had a child together who was sitting right there. And then when we split up, I kept the kids, the two older kids and Jekyll. And she was okay with that. That was the best for the kids.

That was the best she agreed. Yes, yes, yes. And the father agreed. The father I've met one time in my life. Okay, but he didn't have a problem. He didn't have a say. Okay. He didn't have a say.

At the time, he wasn't paying child support. He would send birthday cards with checks for $15 that bounced. Like, it was like a, it was just a disaster. But I will tell you as a young, there's positives and negatives to the young parenting thing. For me, the positives was the energy. Yeah.

When I look at my brother, we had a baby of 50, I'm like, how, if there was a, if there was somebody in diapers in my house right now, I'd be like, get the fuck. I'm going on the road every week. Yeah. I don't know how, so the energy was good, but I can tell you, if I'm this guy, I know how hard it was for me to,

to, responsible's not the right word, because I think I was always responsible. But at 26, your brain is still like, I'd love to see a vagina. Yeah. I still have a certain, that male ego is different now. Like right now, the things that are important to me at 26 are important now, right?

Which is great about growing. 100%. I never thought I'd like 50 as much as I do. But so like, I don't know at 26, and you're married to one of the, at the time, one of the most famous people in the world. I don't know that parenting is on my top five things that I want to do. No, I mean, to remind people he got caught cheating.

He did? Oh, yeah, with this girl in San Diego, that I actually talked to on the phone. I talked to her on the phone about a year ago because of my newer. And it was in this hotel in San Diego, like the hard rock or something. And she shared it and it got out. I think through Nick Richie's The Dirty,

it became a big thing. And then it was just, then it was out. And I think they kind of had an open thing. I think they had a three-some situation. And she had an alcohol problem, which she talks about in her book, that I think was like very difficult for him to deal with. So it was it, but it was one of those things

that again, it was shocking, because everything we saw, just like Kim and Cory, it was like, oh my god, they're making it work. She's the, you know, she's the top cougar in the world. Like, don't, she was like the original cougar that like was making it work. Yeah. And then, but for him being a young guy, yeah, he should,

he did get married to me, LaCouliess. And now they have kids. And he, like, a lot of many. And then who knows? He could have a baby like Al Pacino and Robin De Niro, like in a couple years. It's like, there's certain things guys who's having better about, but.

I don't think having a baby at 80 is a benefit. Well, it's not like he's gonna be, it's not like Al Pacino is gonna be like waking up at two in the morning to have it a bottle. But she might be waking up at two in the morning to give him a bottle. Exactly. Al Pacino, I don't know that I want to be naked with somebody at 80. I also, you know what, for sure, I don't think ever works is three sums in a marriage. Never. That, I've never done it. No kidding me, that I worst nightmare.

Honestly, at this point in my life, my ideal three sum would be beth and I have in sex and somebody else cleaning up the house. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like somebody, can you go pick up the dry cleaning and shit, you're part of the three sum? Yeah. We're gonna have sex, but can you just pick up the dry cleaning and shit, you're part of the threesome. Yeah.

We're gonna have sex, but can you just take care of everything else? Right, yeah. I don't, that never, I tried, I tried to threesome once. Before you're married. Before I'm married. And tell the story, your son's here, go. I don't need to hear that story. You wanna hear it?

No, okay. I wanna hear it and so does Drake. Okay, I, I was never interested in a male, male, female, three-se. Nobody is. Let's hear a little bit, Jay. That's not, that was never my thing, but I dated a girl in college who was a stripper.

Yeah. And she would say, one night we were out, she was like, hey, how about I go find a girl for us? And I was like, what do you mean? She's like, I will go to a bar. You sit at the bar, I'll walk around and find a girl for us. And I was like, how can you find? Was her name his name Maxwell?

No, just kidding. Her name was Tracy, actually. Okay. And so Tracy would walk around. Yeah. And bring women up to me at the bar. And the deal was, they've already okayed you. Okay.

I won't bring somebody up to the bar who doesn't okay you. Hasn't already okayed you. You have to okay that. All right. So I would walk, they would walk up and who, at the time, right, I'm 22. Yeah. No, it's 21. Every girl she brought up, I was like, yeah, that's fine.

Yeah, there's gonna be two of you. Yeah, that's fine. It doesn't matter, you could have brought up anybody and I would have said, yeah. So we go back to Tracey's and they would always make out first. And then Tracey would wave me over when she was ready for me to join it.

I now do you do them both? You penetrate them both. It depended on what was like what the other girl, sometimes the other girl was pretty much straight lesbian. Okay. And so she was not so into me, which was fine also. I just feel like it's so much like. It was a lot of pressure.

It sounds like a step class. Yeah, it sounds like an exercise Situate like a choreographed like too much thinking this in Heather You think it takes a lot of athletic ability to light a bomb. That's why don't do three I mean There's a lot keep it simple a lot. There's a lot happening And so I actually the after the first time, I was... Now did everyone sleep over all three in a bed?

Oh no, I didn't. And I hate being in a middle, I gave the my leg off a side of something. No, I didn't. I was not, that was not for me. Okay. But I remember calling Tracy the next day and I was like, so I am,

how do I do? And she was like, yeah, it was great. I was like, hmm, I don't, I don't like that. She was like, well, didn't you have a good time? I go, yeah, I had a good time. But I've been thinking about the whole night is like, how, how do I do? She was like, I don't know how to answer that. I'm like, yes, yes, you do. I think she did. Yeah, yeah, I was like, yes, yes, you do. She said, I go, she goes, I'm gonna find somebody else. I go, why? She was that the first time she was like, that girl did not have a good time.

Again, I mean, just like, it's not enough to hiring people. Yeah, that's why I use that recruiter because, no. I will say one girl. I'll verify somebody else. They didn't work out. One girl she brought back was really into the idea of putting a strap on on. And I was like, that is not my.

And then do you and the bootie? She was like, you do her, I'll do you. I'm like, this sounds terrible. Oh, please say you didn't do it. No, I was like, and even if you did, say you didn't do it. No, yeah, yeah. I was like, this sounds like this does not sound like. She said Tracy said you might be into it. I was like, and even if you did, so you did. No, yeah, yeah. I was like, this sounds like this does not sound like,

she said Tracy said you might be into it. I was like, she was wrong. This is not a situation that I'm into. Yeah, being getting that, no. That's not my thing. All right, we are gonna bring in the baby here, Jacob, and I have some fun ones for you. He's not, I'm even a baby anymore.

Okay, I've got Josh Wolf here, and now we are joined by your son, your co-host, your opener on the road and your sperm that turned into something. There you go. That's your time. Yes, yes. Hello. Hello. How are you? I'm good, Jacob. You know what we always say? Like, there was this time where McKinsey, my stepdaughter,

she was mad at her father and I was trying to get Saddle this argument, and she goes, great choice in men, Mom. And I go, what? You were here before me. Yeah. And I go, so we constantly joke, like any time the boys are annoyed with Peter, my husband,

I'll be like, great choice in sperm. Great choice. It's like it's not me. Like it's just like good job. Yeah. You get picked in the winter. You came from him first, okay? I had no choice to the matter, okay?

Yeah, you didn't have a choice. No, but I won the race. Yeah, you did win the race. I was born a winner. You know what I'm saying? That's all I got to say to that. That's right. Um, okay, so we were just talking about

so Chloe and Tristan with their tumultuous relationship They have their daughter true. They have their son Tatum born by surrogacy while because she couldn't carry the baby the second one and The baby now they finally announced the name after your Tatum and I guess originally according to TMZ She had Kardashian as his last name because they were not getting along because he impregnated somebody else During the time that they were supposedly together So he has a child from before Chloe then he asked trues with Chloe

Then he got someone pregnant and there's another boy that that woman carried of course he cheated on Chloe with Kylie's best friend, Jordan. And there were other stories of cheating. Anyway, so she goes and has another baby with him via surrogate and she'd sometimes say, we weren't together, we're already together, but I want Tate, I want Trudeau to have a full sibling, whatever. So now she allegedly put Kardashian on the last name of birth, but now she has changed it back to Thompson, the name of his father.

I have one thing to say about this. He must have some like Pete Davidson dick because she can't, she can never stray away. Like anything that happens in this relationship, she always ends up coming back. Like, is that a term Pete Davidson dick? I mean, look at Pete Davidson. He is not a great looking dude, but he pulls some of the greatest looking women in the world. So I think the only thing that makes sense is that- Even Kim said, I wanted part of that big energy dick

because I think it's like everybody else tried. It's like good a great decorator. Is it like, oh my God, it look how great her house looks. It's one, I should try. Supermodel dates a dude. Then the rest of the supermodel is like, well well, I gotta try he's automatically like that ice cream Yeah, he's automatically more attractive It's like that they want something that they can't have right?

So then it's like more appealing to them that that someone who shouldn't have that person does so they're like I wonder what I'm missing out on I mean I know with everybody about I think with certain people They're like okay like all these cool girls that are beautiful, gave him the stamp of approval by dating, can't it? So, sure, why not? Like, why not try it? And I think, I mean, I have heard from very good sources,

he does have an enormous dick. It's the only thing that makes sense, by the way. Like, there's no way that the dude looks like... And like a good one, not like a scary one. Yeah. Not like so big that it's terrifying. Right, right. Just picking up that you're like, that's memorable. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. No. I've never heard of that term scary dick before. Well, there's some dick that's just too big, and girls don't know what to do with it, and they're like, this just wasn't even fun, and I don't even wanna try, like, no. It seems like more of a painful than a pleasurable issue.

And I think, and there's men that have said, like it's been like a hindrance in their life, because it's too big. Remember that guy? Is there a woman called about that dude who had the biggest dong in the world, and he was like, it's not fun. He's walking around with a third lick. What the, she got so uncomfortable. He was like, there's like, it's not fun. He's walking around with a third leg.

Well, that's not comfortable. He was like, there's a lot of pants I can't wear. I never thought of fashion. I would've been like, yeah. He probably can't even wear shorts. Cause it probably just goes, boop, right out the box. Do you remember jams? No.

Those long, Peter, remember jams? Those long floral shorts? Okay, maybe that's just north east. Let me ask you something. Could you cut out the chair? Yeah, yeah. Did you, did you ask me something? He went for a reference and I was like,

I guess I'm too old for that one too. Should I ask you something? Yeah. Because honestly, I don't know if I would have recognized her if that hadn't been up there. I think she out of all the, she looks the most different, right? Yeah, she's out of the three sisters. I mean, now from the beginning,

but I mean, granted it's been like 16 years. Yeah, you're right. She, you know, has lost weight, she's gone blonde and everything. But I mean, you know, yeah, everybody gets stuff done. I mean, that's just life. I think she looks great.

No, she looks great. She looks great, but I will say like, I definitely also have noticed, like in the last couple of years, her whole face is almost changed. And it may be the Photoshop on the photos and certain stuff like that. But like sculpt your chin, can you just see that?

Yeah, you can do everything. You can do anything. What do they do? Shave bone? No, they take out, they take out that skin. I mean, well, if you're gonna like a feminized surgery, like if you were transitioning, you can do it down, but you can also fill it up

and give yourself more of like a jawline. And you can obviously change your nose, your cheeks, or you can lift your brows. Whips, if there was a part of you, have you ever thought of this? If there was a part of you, what would you change? I don't have a great nose, and I wish I would have gotten it done like a long time ago.

Now I feel like it's not something I would want to do. But like it had like I have a little bump and I have to shade it. It's not terrible, but you know, I don't know. I would do my ears are gonna be huge. You know, our ears can you say that? Did you? My ears don't they're flat. Like they don't do the thing with you. Yeah, they have no there's no cartilage. Okay, so they're get it.'re going to be huge old man ears. Also, I'd like to cut this. Yeah. Like, this is like turning off everybody.

We want people to go see your show. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I hope they're not going to show this kind of ears. You know, like when you, like, when back in the Chelsea lately, days, you know, she'd always go, like, say, Campbell to me, which did not have a camel toe. No. And, um, but I would do like bits where like I made a camel toe.

Like there was that lady that did that prancer, that prancer video. I don't even know what that was. It was a weird video with a prancer. And we literally built a camel toe like I did dance like it. And then also she'd say like long boots because of a sketch. And I'd get off stage and someone would be like, you don't have long boobs or a camel toe. I'm like, well, I'm glad that's what you're fixated on for an hour and a half, yeah.

Anyway, you were saying can someone just change the name? Change the name of that. I think when you are, it can be a court situation. If you are saying that someone is the father and you're getting child support for them and you can fight for, they're if the man's name is not on it, he can fight and say, I at least want it to be a middle or we need to settle on a hyphen or whatever.

He can insist on having his name on there if he is paying and being the father. How was it not on there to begin where he must have been at the birth? I think at this point, he wasn't going to fight anything. Right. You know, and it was probably like, okay, but then maybe they agreed.

But it's interesting because on the new Hulu show, she goes, I hope Rob Kardashian or brother has a boy because the name will end with him and he only has a daughter with Black China. But meanwhile, she could have, and I remember thinking, why does she just make her son Kardashian? Yeah.

Why doesn't she just keep her son card asian? What does it matter? Yeah, on a side note, isn't it crazy that Rob card asian is a kid with black china? I just think that all I know is. It is one of the greatest. To me, like just hearing that out loud every time I hear it, I'm like,

how come? How come? Look at Rob and look at black china. That's all I have to say. Do you think that's the weirdest couple ever? No, I just, for me, like it just stands out. Like black china doesn't look like she's fucking Rob Kardashian very often. Like, that doesn't really look like. Ultimate, ultimate. She needed to get them

back because Tyga was her boyfriend and the father of her son, King, and King Cairo. And then they were all friends. In fact, I think that they may have attended Kim and Kanye's wedding. And then, allegedly, the minute Kylie turned 18, she started to date Tyga. And so then, Black China is not being invited to any stuff anymore. And so one night, Chloe is gone.

Rob lives at her house in the oaks, which is a gated community. Somehow, they start DMing each other. And Black try to get behind those gates, like fucking the green she stole Christmas, climbs up the ladder, and Chloe comes home and is like, what's Black trying to do in there? Well too late now. She was pregnant.

She was like... And her daughters are Kardashian. Yeah, she was like... I'm not going to let you guys forget my name because I know you guys are going to be stuck with me for the rest of your life now they're okay. That all Robin black Jenna. Yeah, and like well the family's always been great to dream obviously the daughter and then they all go to the same Sierra Canyon school. And so dream and true and her daughter and Kylie's daughter. And maybe when it

Kim's they all drew true and stormy. Yeah. Yeah. They all graduated from the little kindergarten there. And they're all there together. What those name that name back. And then like North and like you just look at just the names of those. Dream true stormy North. Yeah. Chicago Chicago. Yeah. Chicago is the name of the child. Yeah, and then some like Psalm 57. We have a book from Psalm. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That. Yeah. That was Christmas talking.

Oh, and then I know Kanye is now making his wife where those weird outfits and everything. How about him with the shoulder pads? He goes out in a body shoe. Yeah, his shoulder pads,. Lame lemons and socks. I don't even think they're socks. I don't think he's wearing anything. They're sock shoes. And why does she look like he made those socks shoes?

Yeah, I saw them. Yeah, but then why does she look like one of those, like drug addicts, she goes to rob a bank and it just has like a pantyhose over her head. Yeah, he put a pantyhose over her head. Why does she look like a non-goal bank robber? Like, what's the problem? Like, I want to say, these people that marry someone, why does she look like a knockout big rocker? Because she had a cracker. Like, what's the problem?

Like, I want to say, these people that marry someone, you think, it won't this be great. I'm marrying the greatest musician, Kanye, he's so famous, I'm going to be in this fabulous house and hit nails and everything. And a lot like Sam who married Britney Spears. You know what? Turns out not that fun. Not that fun. Not worth it.

I got a lot of speed on that. You're not going to be an interesting dinner. No. You're not going to be an interesting dinner. No. You're not meeting cool people. You are putting a net over your head and acting like you want to wear a condom dress. It's like very sad. Yeah, I'm not going to lie.

I saw this the other day. Kanye saw Kim get Pete Davidson and he had to go get one of his own. If you look at her right next to Pete Davidson, a blonde hair, it's earring. That one photo was photoshopped. But it is a similar. It's a similar comparison. It looks like if Kim and, uh, and Pete had had a daughter and she was 25.

That's what she looks like. She does look like both of them. Yeah, it is a little weird. It's true. I need to talk to you, so I'm very serious that happened. Okay. Oh, I'm in town of Las Vegas. Yes, yes.

So you guys live in Las Vegas and you, you know, have your, your residency there at the Jimmy Kimmel. Yep. Every Monday night. Every Monday night. Yeah. We did it last night. And so I have, listen, I was never believed in aliens or anything, but there is too much happening right now. And this is crazy. So if you know the story, tell the story. Okay. So there's a crazy 911 phone call and it's like, hey, can you send somebody out here and they're like, yeah, what's wrong? He goes, something crashed in my backyard. And right now, I'm currently staring at what looks like two eight to ten foot gray figures with ginormous eyes in my backyard. And they're staring at me and won't

take their eyes off of me. And it's just this back and forth and they're like, okay, I'm going to send a cop out, but it takes an hour for the cop to get there typical police right it takes forever and they show up and whatever is there is gone and then it flashes to this clip and it's a body cam footage of a cop watching something fall out of the sky and it's like this great green blue beam of light like it's something and then five minutes later that 911 phone call happens. And the cop on the video or the camera, whatever they got, says, I'm not gonna lie, my partner just said he saw something fall out of the sky.

Yeah. Okay, so now- Do you want it to be true? Yes. No, I don't. No, I'm terrified. You do. I've seen a UFO.

What do you mean you've seen a UFO? So, hold on real quick, real quick. It was just a younger story. Oh wait, I'm terrified. You do. I've seen a UFO. What do you mean you've seen your first? I saw it all real quick, real quick. It was just a younger story. Oh wait, I told you this. I told you this. We were coming home from a, I think, fly football practice. Yep. And I was with a buddy in mind of the car.

You weren't there. It was just my mom driving us home. And this was the valley. Yeah, it was like Riverside and Fulton. It was like real, real close. And we're driving and we get into this neighborhood and I look up in the sky. And there is something in the sky with four different colored lights. All of them are turning. It's got layers to it

and I was like, what is that? And me and my friend Jack are looking at it. We drive a little further past another stop sign. It goes behind a tree. We come past that tree. It's gone. And to this day, me and Jack are still the only two who have seen whatever that was. But no one ever believed in me. You remember that the same way I remember seeing that penis. Yeah, same age by the way, nine, I think, actually. I remember it. I remember it. I remember it.

I remember it was last at nine years old at Saint Mel School. Yes, I know what you mean. I'm identified flying objects on similar objects. Yeah, but so I want this to be real so bad. Just because like also here's the thing, if you think out of all the galaxies and how small we are in this cosmos that there's not other beings in this,

I think there would be. Do you ever think? And what not like, it's crazy to say. Okay, the only other explanation for this, okay now here's some criticism of it. Okay. Where is his video? See, I was in the person that said, it's the same thing. Why haven't we, this was Hollywood

unlocked. This was five days ago or something. I've heard very little about it. And where is his phone? You don't think the government got involved and took us. There's no way he didn't take a photo. And if he did, why isn't he talking? And he's like, you know, it's he sounds like he's just, you know, living a middle-class life. So did the government be like, do not talk anymore about this? Here's a little money, give us your phone, shut up, don't do interviews. It's true, because it's a lot.

Why is this guy not doing interviews? If he's on the phone saying, this is what I'm seeing, I'm sure he videotaped it right. At what point you would have been. He was like four other people. That's what I'm saying. I said the same thing. I was like, you know, I was like, you. 100% their was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I don't listen. I'm with you on that though. The main thing is. You don't? Yo, you want to go through all that training to sit on rock. Do you think the aliens are training?

No, no. She's a go on a spaceship. Also, I have two straight white males. You know how hard it was to get one in college? Yeah. Now they're going to have to compete with aliens that are clearly going to be smarter than us. There's going to be, there's going to be, we got to have 15% aliens. Yeah. You know, so like, no. It's all easily six miles. Yeah, gonna be, we gotta have 15% aliens.

Yeah. So like, it's only six miles. Yeah, so that's why I don't want it. Sorry. I don't need to be, have that show of my face about how much smarter the aliens are that they're learning at their schools. I want to go on a spaceship.

I want to go on an alien spaceship and I want to take an alien ride. I'm to go on an alien spaceship and I want to take an alien ride. If I want to be on that show, if it's a hit, you know, to talk netaches on it. I'm not watching it, but. The Marsha. Yeah, the stars on Mars, they went to Australia. Obviously they didn't go to Mars.

They made it like a Mars type of thing. It's like a competition, like a big brother with competition. But you would probably have a lot of fun with that. I would. I would. I would do it too. If I don't actually have to go to Mars, I with that. I would put it out there. You're telling me. I would do it too. If I don't actually have to go to Mars, I love Australia, I would totally be down. And then we just go and like have a week

of like shows in Sydney after. Amazing. I would probably be kicked out first. How come you haven't done dancing with this? You're just going to see what a Sydney. How come you haven't done dancing with the stars yet? How come I have it? What do you think?

Nobody's asked me. Are you kidding? You wait a second. I turned it down. Have you not reached out to them? I'm gonna stick with Juicy Scoot. Have you not reached out to them? Who knows?

You have to, you should get those little legs out there kicking around. Are you kidding? Are you kidding us? Okay, you know, even Jeff Bezos has to be an Instagram husband. Jeff Bezos, Lauren Sanchez, greatest story ever. I've been DMing this girl.

Like, girl, let's get cocktails. This particular picture is amazing. Yeah. Well, she's like, how much younger is she than him? She's 53 and he's like 57. Oh, she's great. That's, that's it. There, I mean, their relationship started while they were both still marrying, which

isn't great. But girls go for it. Yeah. No, she might back the richest dude on earth. I know. You might at 53. I mean, she's hot. She's got a good body.

She gave him a blow up. He all of a sudden was taken the HD, whatever you call him. Do his arms look HD? Yeah, of course you. His arms look amazing. He looks course you know arms like a man. HG. Okay, I want to talk about this. Peg's daughter Willow joins her on stage to perform.

Well, of course you say it. It's awesome. You little nepotism comic. Yeah, I just love that also. I love the fact that at 12, she has the confidence to get on stage with her mom because she's probably over ridiculous. I'm with my friend and we're hanging out and she sees that Beyonce's daughter is dancing, not singing but dancing on stage.

And then she was like, don't want to see that. Don't want to want to pay all this money to see your daughter dance. I go, who cares? It's the girl probably doing one dance. She might not want to do it next summer. Yeah. You know, why not? Come on stage.

Whatever. JLo had her daughter sing. And she's getting so angry about it. I'm like, um, do I need to remind you that your sons work for your husband's company? Yeah. And they deserve it. And they're great kids. And like, they're, you know, but like, so what?

For me, the decision to bring him on the road was a no-brainer. You know what it's like on the road? Yeah. And it's sometimes, it's lonely. And to be able to hang out with him and have him just, you know, obviously, a decent personal assistant stuff, which is nice. Yeah, yeah.

But when all sorts of little stuff, he gets too high and I have to keep track of all of this stuff. That's the personal assistant. I mean, but he does stay, I just want to make a deal with him. He also does stand up. He'll do like 10 minutes in front of me, and we do a Q and A on stage, but it's the best time I've ever had in my life.

If I'm gonna give somebody the opportunity, why wouldn't I give it? I know, that's the whole nepotism thing. Like, I don't really have a problem with, because I'm like, it's the same thing, in a lot of businesses. Much. You know, or like even like a grip, you have to be a grandfather. You've got to be a grip.

You've got to like, it's very hard to get in that business because the unions and everything else. So, yeah, it's hard. It's really easy. But also, and you know, recently I was talking to this firefighter at like this career day, and I was like, oh, what's it like? Because I was always such a hard, such a great job to get, such a desirable top.

And he goes, and this is what he said allegedly, okay? Not allegedly, he said it to me. I don't know that he's telling the truth, okay? This is what he told me. He did say, yes, but we now, we were told not to hire like the third generation firefighter. What?

Because they need to have other people to be firefighters. And I'm like, but I disagree with that because I'm like, that kid knows the job. And wants to do it. He knows what it's like to be on 24 hours, off 24 hours. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just like if my, I knew real estate because my parents are realtor.

Someone knows it acting world because they're, you know, you're around it. Someone that whose dad fixes cars, most likely will be working on cars when they're eight and be really good by 20. Like that's not a bad thing. No. That you do what your parents do.

Like farmers had a bunch of kids so that they would learn how to work the farm. Yeah, that's right. And I'll tell you something else, he is pretty well equipped because he's been around it. The attention doesn't, he doesn't get swept up in it. He's still a good dude, you know. So for me, like, like I said, should I give it the opportunity to somebody that I don't know? Right. Why wouldn't I just get up? Yeah, well, you fucked it. Well, right now, if someone fucks it up, like, I'm your kid, it's easy to tell me what to do

or what not to do. For someone you just met or don't know, it's probably a little more. It also fits in the business. We do a podcast together. So, well, Jim Gaffigan's son, I know opens for him sometimes. I want to say Dana Carri's son has done so.

Somebody takes their mom on the road. Fortune has. Fortune. But just don't do stand up, but she's like highlight. His mom opens for them. Oh, really? I love that. It's not God free. But somebody's mom opens for him. Well, Drake is just helped with production and stuff. He's good. Great. Though, but when I did faint on my head, I did say get my son, you know, like get my son. And then all the women were like, saw him coming down

and he told me this later and I was like, oh, I'm sorry about that. But they were like, oh, it's Draky poo, it's Draky poo. Because I always thought like Draky poo, like that's his name, you know. They were screaming at Vegas, bring out Draky poo. And I was like, who the fuck is that? What's he, what's he, what's he, what's,

what's, what's, what's, get it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's, get it. So anyway, I, I, my way our meet and greet lines are so different. My meet and greet, his meet and greet lines are like these young, cool, hit people,

and my meet and greet line are the people who drove them here. Do you know what I mean? It's available. It's it's either that or it's the 50th it's you know the 40 or 50 year old woman and above who just can't keep it in their pants. Those are the that's that's your main greet line? No that's your main greet line. Yeah that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Okay wait I want to get to something out oh, here we go. Next one. Now, this girl says she is suffering from heart phobia, which means she's so hot that all the other moms are mean to her at the school because she dresses

the way she wants, and she's like too bad that I have a good body, and, you know, and she's not getting invited to anything because according to her, the moms all wear sweats and she's not getting invited to anything because according to her, the moms all wear sweats and she's too hot. And I want to ask you as a boy with a hot mom, and unfortunately my kids have suffered too. Yeah.

Having a hot mom. What is that like? Well, I will say growing up, because not only do I have a hot mom, I apparently also have a hot dad. Okay. So I got it from both sides. Growing up, it was the girl saying,

I wanna fuck your dad. Did really a girl actually say that to you? There was a girl all through middle school and high school. Yeah, middle school and high school, who would just come up to me and just say, how's your dad? And I'm like, fuck off. Like, what is wrong with you?

You're like 13, chill out. Like, yo, I was, it was funny. After high school and everything, we're growing people. I was working catering at a Dan Bilzerian party. Okay. Dan Bilzerian, let me just remind you, by the way, I've been obsessed with this cat for years.

I still would like to go. His cat? No, this guy. I would like to still go to one of his parties. I've interviewed his former girlfriend. He's the one that he has a weed business, but he always has these videos of all these amazing girls. I'd like to still go to one of his parties. I've interviewed his former girlfriend. He's the one that he has a weed business, but he always has these videos of all these amazing girls.

Okay, go on. Well, the way his weed is terrible. Okay, go on. But so this crazy house party, and she showed up to one. And I was catering and I was working. With the middle school horny girl. Yeah, yeah, so we're now probably 22. Shocked that she's there.

Yeah. What she grew up to be. Yeah, right. That was not, well, that was not as stunned, but also I was like, well, I guess they fucking let anybody in here know her. Yeah. And she, the first, she was the first question she asked me, hey, do you remember who I am?

I was like, yeah, I was like, you're the girl who wants to fuck my dad. And she goes, you said still, I go, am I wrong? And she goes, no, how is he? And I was like, fuck off. Like, first of all, I'm working second of all pick one of the thousand twenty year olds that are here that are maybe within your league

Why are you going for a 53 year old dude who's married so wait are there young guys at those parties? I thought they were more like a playboy party where it's this all hot girls and like a couple guys No, so so the house that I used to cater for her mat. He no longer has anymore He got into some big tax evasion, money laundering. That's crazy. So he never saw that coming. Right. So he lost a whole bunch of stuff, including that house.

But so that house was all like, it was like influencers in it. There wasn't, he was probably the oldest dude there. I, yeah. And so there was nobody, you think, is he like mid 30s, how old is it? I got him. He liked 45. Yeah, so he was probably the oldest dude there.

But yeah, every girl there, like the ratio was pretty ridiculous. It was like 10 to 1. Okay, let me get back to the hot mom story. Yeah, tell me what it's like to have a hot mom. I wouldn't say frustrated, but like I got the same thing with dudes growing up, like I want to fuck your mom. Some of my closest friends in high school, we would be drinking on some nights

and some conversation would come up and I'd look at some of my friends and I'd go say it. And I'd be like, what, I go, say what's on your mind? I know what's on your mind. It's barely been on your mind for a long time. Say it so you can feel better. And they're like, I don't want to say it. I'm like, fucking say it so we can all move past it.

And all of them would just scream, your mom's fucking hot. I'm like, great, can we move on now? Yeah, so I'm like closest friends and I'm like guys You know she comes in and brings us like cinnamon rolls and just like like all these weird things I'm like what do you think she's bringing in every time she walks in like what I would say it? I would see Like I caught One of his friends checking Beth out at the house So Beth walk by and he was just like this

and then he looked up and I was just looking at him. And he was like, and I go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all right. It was definitely annoying getting that comment a little time but like for this woman, who caught me a river like your grown pranins at Craspy, which is all that boy school. And when we were practicing the driving, for this woman? Who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who,

and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who,

and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who,

and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who, and who,. And I'm like, all right, you know, like I won't, because I'd get around the car and the kids would be waiting. And you know, apparently these legs are still something to be talked about. And prior to that, he did one time tell me that this kid would give him shit and say, oh, your mom's hot.

Well, now of course I put a cute smile on my face. And I was like, that is terrible. I can't believe I'm paying all this money for you to get bullied. And I'm like, I've got to call them. I was like, ooh, which hot male teacher should I call and complain to? Hi. And so some kids are saying I'm hot. I told Drake the story.

And I go, you know, is that terrible? Brandon, and he goes, I go, they thought that this kid thinks I'm hot. And Drake's, I go, they thought that this kid thinks I'm hot. This all, and Drake's like, mom, they don't think you're hot. That's just a way to give them some shit. And I was like, fuck you. Yeah, that's not the answer I wanted. They beat me up.

They beat me up. They beat me up. They beat me up. They beat me up. They beat me up. They beat me up. They beat me up. They beat me up.

They beat me up. They beat me up. They beat me up. They beat me up. They beat me up. They beat me up. They beat me up. They beat me up. thought it was so crazy. Oh, yeah, okay. So tell the story to you. So I follow Hollywood and lock to this is where I get one of my, yeah. So, uh, uh, do this in Serbia? No, it's in China, I think. So, uh, do goes today, he matches with this girl on a dating site and they go to a dinner

and she is accompanied by 23 of her relatives. And then after they all eat, he was like, yo, I'm not paying. Like, you, there's no way I'm paying for you and you're 23 family members. Wait, wait, they had dinner? Yes, yes, he stayed on the dinner. Like 35 a.k. after they ate.

Yeah, it was like 35, he'd left. And then they tried to sue her. So him and she was like, you have to at least pay for our food and he goes, or pay for the whole thing. And he goes, well, I might pay for our food, but the rest of you got to figure your shit out. Like, yeah. Yeah, so they suit him for the baby of the bill,

but the judge sided with him to only pay like 197 for him and the one girl's food. But like, good job. I thought I was so, I just thought I was very funny, like to imagine like, I mean, listen, there has been, there were, there were, but there were daytime's when I would have a hot friend. That would be like, you want to go to the club,

you know, one or the thing. And we knew, you know, she's going to take one for the team, but we're all going to get crab legs and a full hand. That's right. Yeah, absolutely. And that guy knows I, to be with this girl, like, I am going to have to pay for all these people. So there's that, but this guy was definitely blind size. 23 people, like that's,

you might be able to squeeze to 23. It's hilarious. You see, like already taking four cars, like what, and then, or a whole last bus, like, what, if they showed up in a gray hound to this dinner, like if he shows up first, and he's like, dinner, but if he shows up first and he's like, yeah, a table for two. And then 23 other people show up.

Pinkwood room. There is. What what happens? They keep raising. Oh my Lord, I would love to know did she find him on a website where we're like a lot of rich dudes. So she was expecting who knows possibly. I didn't go that deep.

But yeah, she was trying, yeah. It's Christmas. What's your max somebody walks in with? Maybe two friends. You want to learn my maxes? You walking with you yourself and you, nobody else. You walking with someone else. Have you ever had the date?

No, thankfully not, but I'll tell you right now, if I match with a girl on Tinder, she's like, oh, I'm bringing my friend. I'd be like, cool, I'm gonna bring a friend. She says, we'll match. And if she says no, I'm like, great, I'm bringing my friend. I'd be like, cool, I'm gonna bring a friend. She's, well, match. And if she says no, I'm like, great, we'll do a day to different day. I'm so, yeah.

I'm not showing up expecting one and paying for three. Like, what? And also, she's bringing, also, if she's bringing a girlfriend, she's not that interested. That's right, that's right. Oh, 100%. She's just like, oh my god,

that means, like, I don't, I'm dreading this date. What? What did I agree? At least if you come, we can laugh about him after. And it means the two, you're two week paycheck. We could do a podcast about him after. Yeah, it means your job hasn't paid you yet, and you guys want to get a free meal.

That's fine. That would be, like, I'm so glad. Absolutely. I never had to deal with dating apps. I know. I'm so fucking. Because I think it can be like a great ego boost in the worst of the same time.

And the worst at the same time. I was happy, but I let my girlfriend on a date. Exactly. We don't want to say you have a girlfriend. Because I think it can be like a great ego boost and the worst and the worst at the same time I Was happy, but I don't have my girlfriend on a date exactly We don't want to say you have a girlfriend. We're trying to get some chicks to go to your show Oh, well they can go to the show, but if they see the Instagram page, they'll see you're on Cal everybody what is going on and where they can see you guys and tune into your podcast and everything we have a podcast called Hey, man, yep, where he and, it's funny, he admits things like that I didn't know.

He was like, did I ever tell you about, I used to steal the yours and mom's cars and do donuts in the parking lot. So I'm like, what? So he admits to things on every show. But it's such a great, we have a great time. We have a lot of serious life talks. Yeah, it's a good, it's a good mixture of laughter and heart. It really shows like for our true father's

unrelationship, like, you know, we had a health talk the other day and that went the full hour or we talk about any random shit or high school memories from both of us. So it really is like a total encapsul of everything of who we are as like a relationship. So it's been a whole bunch of fun for sure. Yeah, it's been a good time.

And then he comes on the road with me every weekend. So it's he and I we we do a little he does stand up A front I do some in the middle we do a Q&A I bring out the guitar. It's a two-man show and I and everybody follow you guys Where and get the tickets where? Comedian joshwolf.com for tickets and Just go to my YouTube channel or anywhere you get a podcast. Yeah, he's Josh Wolf comedy on all platforms, so he put some stuff there, but yeah, hey man, on any social media or any podcast site wherever you get him,

Spotify, Apple, all that good stuff. Josh and Jacob, the dynamic comedic duo, Father Sun Delight. Father, that, you know, knocking on that, that might stretch me the name of the podcast. Father Sun Delight is amazing. Sounds like an ice cream. Yeah, you're not gonna lie, that might stretch me the name of the podcast. Father's son Delight is amazing. Sounds like an ice cream. Yeah, it's...

Honestly, it sounds dirty, but it's not... I like it. Yeah, I love that. Okay, love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys.