Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald - JLo, Seeking Sister Wives, Post Nuptial Agreements with Sarah Colonna

Episode Date: June 7, 2022

Comedian Sarah Colonna and I cover my weekend at The Catalina Wine Mixer and why she couldn’t make it. Amber Heard’s sister is sticking by her. Can you be a victim and still lie about it? RHOA req...uired the girls to wear vibrating panties to a Broadway Play. MTV Movie Awards featured a cameltoe and JLo who gave a great speech. Seeking Sister Wives is back and they are looking for a third wife now. RHOM Lisa’s ex is asking the court to kick her out of their $52 Mil dollar home. She should have done a post-nuptial agreement. Only Fan girls may have to go back to nursing and Mariah Carey got sued. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts to get exclusive Extra Juicy episodes every Friday and get all episodes of Juicy Scoop, ad-free Or get access to Extra Juicy on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/juicyscoop To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Heather McDonald has got the juices scoop. When you're on the road, when you're on the go. Juicy scoop is the show to know. She talks Hollywood tales. Her real life, Mr. St.Vizereal Data, and Serial Sister. You'll be addicted and addicted fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast. Listen in, listen up. Woo, woo, and a McDonald.
Starting point is 00:00:28 Juicy scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy scoop. I have our girl Sarah Kelona here. We've so much juicy stuff to talk about the weekend. First I just want to remind you guys that coming up these tickets are selling really well. Justin, Martin Dell and Julie Goldman will be joining me in Napa at the Krug Winery 530 and 830, Friday, June 17th. Get your tickets, they are selling well and we're really excited to be there.
Starting point is 00:00:56 How are you? I'm good girl, how are you? I'm so good. You're so bright and pink and cheery today. Well, because you missed a fun weekend in which you were invited to. I know. The, as the stepbrothers would say, the Catalina wine mixer that we went to.
Starting point is 00:01:12 But you had an exciting weekend. Why don't you tell me about your weekend first of why you couldn't go to the Catalina wine mixer with us on our boat and what you did instead? I attended my mom's retirement party. She's worked at the funeral home for 39 years and she was retiring. Oh my, why is she like pulling an Ellen? Why didn't she just do 40 years?
Starting point is 00:01:33 I don't know. That's a good question. Is Ellen retired at 19 years? Right. Yeah, why not just make it an even number? I don't know. Is it true it's gonna come out that your mom was horrible to all the dead people?
Starting point is 00:01:44 That she had to leave early because she, it was she wouldn't let them look her in the eye. Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah, I don't know, but we surprised her. I put a little Instagram video up on my Instagram if anyone wants to see it. It's very sweet, I think. And she loves this girl. She was very excited.
Starting point is 00:02:02 And it was from four to six. It was a retirement from four to six That is a tight schedule. It is very tight schedule. Yeah, and what and what did they serve? There was some little you know some little meatballs. I enjoy a little meatballs Adjacent since Ben and Jeff a cheese plate. Yeah, or cheese options. You can make you know some little Empanada type things. Why not? Yeah. And what was great about having your mom
Starting point is 00:02:30 work in a funeral home and what was not so great? Not so great was that when she would come home from working stuff and be like, oh, we're so busy, we're busy. And I'm like, oh. Yeah, you don't want you to. It's the one place you don't want to be busy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Like you want the bagel shop to be busy. Right. You want your restaurant. You want to be slammed. You want to be in the weeds at the restaurant. You don't want to be in the weeds at the funeral home. So I would always be like, oh, so everyone. It's for Bob and me out.
Starting point is 00:02:59 Yeah. And she just sort of because of it, she just sort of talks about death. Like it's just, you know, it's common. Yeah. It's a common anytime. Don't you ever get inside juicy scoop like a scandal like someone died and then the wife didn't want the mistress coming to the funeral and your mom had to handle that kind of stuff? No, I wish.
Starting point is 00:03:18 It seems, you know, it wasn't Fayetteville. It's not, it's probably that probably happens more and more exciting places. Okay. And people are pretty calm, I guess. No, that probably did happen. She just never told me or maybe. But she would, the thing that I would get inside scoop on was like, she would call me and basically say, if she said, remember so and so, that meant it was never going to be
Starting point is 00:03:41 good. Yeah, he did. So it was never, remember so and so, ran was never remember so and so ran into the m at walmart no no always remember so and so well they're dead oh my god so i don't know if i'll miss that for sure but i think i will well next year uh... if we go to the cattling one mixer again yeah i never even knew this thing existed it did it come from stepbrothers so stepbrothers mentioned at the end of the thing This is what they do to like try and get you know try to make themselves look good the two stepbrothers Can they pull off?
Starting point is 00:04:17 Helping run this event the Catalina wine mixer clearly was made up by Will Farrell Because he lived in Southern California. It was probably just like, let's just do something weird, let's just mention Catalina because it's like Catalina is just something you just always hear about when you live here. But it's kind of, it's fun, but there's like not much to it. So a lot of people go there for like the day or something. And it's a fun day trip. It's a fun day trip, but I was there. Last time I was there with the boys we were having dinner and we were walking around in this guy who was a juicy scooper,
Starting point is 00:04:52 who clearly was gay because I don't think a lot of guys are hardcore juicy scoopers that aren't and then he. So anyway, so he comes up and he's totally cute. And he's English, he's an English accent. He's like, what are you doing here? And he's like, oh, I'm here for an internship. And I'm like, do you like it? And he's like, I know I was like, God damn it. That guy has a social media internship in Catalina. He should be in West Hollywood having
Starting point is 00:05:20 the fucking time of his life. But when you think about it, they probably showed this beautiful photo. It looks like Portofino or something. And you're like, and they're probably, oh, an island just a little bit off of Southern California, only 20 miles from LA, that I realized I could go three hour boat ride. And how fun it's gonna be.
Starting point is 00:05:40 And then you probably got there. And it was like, it's cool for a day or two. There's cool street. But he's like working there and living there. And what's he doing? Social media. Some social media internship or something. Just what I'm saying, he got lured on a foggy day in London to come here.
Starting point is 00:05:58 And just do your research. I'm going to go live on an island in California. And same if you were going to go to Italy or something to do something like, make sure wherever you're going to go, is really like the happening place you want to be. Because you never know, it's like country's a big place. Anyway, so we had a turn out, we so fun. Who went with, who took my place?
Starting point is 00:06:19 My sister, who I originally wanted no offense. But her husband, I don't think her husband had the confidence in Peter's sailing ability when I originally asked her. Okay, so then I was like, and I said, full disclosure Shannon, like I've asked Sarah, I've asked my friend, Noel, I've asked Liz, like no one can do it. And we really need like another couple.
Starting point is 00:06:41 We have one more couple coming, but they were coming like late and like, need we needed like come on the steps and fun so because doctor drew in season couldn't come they were and they were originally gonna come anyway were they invited before me as well you guys were invited the same time oh okay i was one of six people we did not want more than that okay and and it was way more fun than i thought
Starting point is 00:07:06 like i'd they were like bands you went and watch the stepbrothers movie there uh... we did the vip which really wasn't that expensive when you get all this food and drink uh... i mean i really should free tickets to extro basically selling it but i we had a blast we had a blast it looked fun and i so did they just have the movie playing constantly no you went to specifically watch the movie in the theater and people were like yelling
Starting point is 00:07:27 out stuff. It was like Rocky Horror Picture Show, but for the stepbrothers. Oh, that's fun. So the people... Why didn't Will Farrell show up? I know people always think that, but I'm like, he doesn't care. Right, but people come up to him and quote him and stuff. He's like, he's been done other things.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Right. He doesn't have a stake in the Catalina wine mixer. Shareholder. No, but so then they started doing then Catalina, then someone thought, let's do this. Yeah. And it's like a little mini, like a little mini cicella kind of a situation. No one famous, but like good music, good DJ, you're on the beach, you either stay on a hotel or you have a boat situation like us, we stay on the boat. And is there just like a bunch of wine tastings?
Starting point is 00:08:06 Yes, for the VIP, there's wine tasting and food stations. And then for general, I think you have to buy like your own food and you get a couple tastings. But then you're enjoying the music and the atmosphere and all that. Okay. I was saying that it, Annie, which was Shannon and I were there. And we're like, there's like a group of like girls, dirty, dirty birthday party, right? And she's like, why are like,
Starting point is 00:08:32 no guys going up to that table? And I'm like, you know what? It's just changed. I'm like, if if you and I were here like 25 years ago, guys would have been coming up to us getting our number, cat calling us. You didn't see what my hair looked like 25 years ago. I'm not sure anyone was trying to get my number. Unfortunately. Come on now. When you would go out with girlfriends, wouldn't guys approach your table and wouldn't guys like buy you drinks?
Starting point is 00:08:57 Yes. Maybe you'd make out in the group. I mean, granted, sometimes, you know, I understand, like bad things have happened, okay? Well, of course. Right. But, you could just go back 25 years and nobody gets raped. It was like a pretty good time. Like, it was a pretty fun time because guys were like, wow, get on the boat! Like, now they would be embarrassed to do that. Because I'd be like, excuse me, why are you cat calling me? I loved being cat called.
Starting point is 00:09:29 I loved it. You should be like, you should put a little thing on your table that says, it's okay to cat call me, and then just have people do it. Well, not a little old for it, but anyway, good times, boozed, got a little sunburned, had some fun. It looks fun. I like your pictures. And did you like staying on the boat? Because you had you done it for two nights, right?
Starting point is 00:09:50 Yeah, and my brother-in-law loved it. He said it was like, you know. Peter didn't kill anybody. No, he was in a good mood, he was fine. Everything was great. It wasn't dangerous. No, but nobody fucked up the toilets. We didn't make a big mess.
Starting point is 00:10:06 No, it was a great situation for all involved. All right, next time, girl. I know, I want to stay on the boat. Or if we just go out there in the summer and say like one or two nights, three nights, we say three nights, but you don't have to, too, it's probably perfect. All right, I know you guys are done with Johnny Depp, but I just wanted to fill it in and now that we had a couple of moments to breathe, I did make a mistake on the last episode because I literally recorded it as we heard the verdict.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Oh, right. So, he was awarded 10 million in compensatory damages, compens Tory damages, and 5 million imputative damages. The 5 million means that the person I believe had malice in doing what they did. Right. And there was a cap on that in the city, so it was only 350,000. I recorded that. Like literally we stopped our show, listened to the verdict, I then put that in the show and people were writing on my youtube like you're wrong your rock i'm like oh my god how i know oh sorry to check with
Starting point is 00:11:12 what the virginia law was right he was awarded that it happens to be a different amount that i'm going to get there's anyway so that put that brings him to 10.350 Then of course she got two million Bring it down to eight million 350 I Two million and then she's just gonna give it right back and then And be like well, she I guess she's already appealed it. Oh, she has so I guess they'll have to go through that but they could also at one point
Starting point is 00:11:43 Do like a settlement, something. Well, I read something crazy, like she has, and again, on the YouTube, don't correct me, because I didn't do a ton of research about this, but I read something that suggested yet she has like 30 years to pay. Right, which is why I thought when my prediction was always he'd prevail, I think in the details of how he'd prevail, it's clear he prevailed. So I was right about that. And I said, but I don't think they'll award him more than seven million because she got seven million in the divorce. That's where I came up with that number. Right. Um, 8.350, not that far off. So I do want to say pretty
Starting point is 00:12:20 impressed with myself. You were, yeah, you're never that far off from your predictions. And you're usually, oh from your predictions and you're usually, you're usually very correct. And this time you were just slightly off. But I also think there's there's speculation of like whether or not actually he'll pursue the money or if it's more of just, or will it be a charity thing or he's thrilled. He is, he's thrilled. He is thrilled. He's happy. He went out with 20 friends and spent $60,000 at an Indian food place. Oh, that's a lot of curry chicken, but it's for only 20 people. You know, he likes the very expensive wines and everything. And he's treating people again. But it's so bad. I don't know. Well, he's treating other people. But my concern is just
Starting point is 00:13:04 do not invite any of those people to live in properties that you own. Can we stop that? Yeah. Take them out for Indian food. I'm fine with that, Johnny, but let's not invite them to live rent-free indefinitely. Yeah, I think maybe you should stop treating people to things. It seems like he gets his self in a real shitload of trouble with yeah with people that like to yeah live off of him or off of
Starting point is 00:13:29 his property you know I'm not talking about her I'm talking about like all the people that were that were discussed so her sister who testified for her with me said gave her a message of a support saying I know what I saw, you know, I support you, I tell the truth. Oh, yes, I stand with Amber herd. Then someone went through and so I forgive me for the Instagram accounts that I forgot who did this, but they listed all the stars, celebrity stars that liked Johnny Depp statement that he signed and all the people that liked Ambers. And it was like two people liked Ambers of any note, no notoriety. So we were saying
Starting point is 00:14:14 as you're coming a lot of people are like, oh my god, this is so bad for women and domestic violence and everything. I mean, I, she got caught in a lot of mistrust, and the main thing was the sexual assault right, like with the bottle and that whole thing. People, there was no proof to it, no one saw it, obviously she didn't go to the doctor for it, and that was something that, you know, he odds she hadn't brought it up before, right? And then I'm, listen, again, who knows, God forbid, and that's true. Right. But obviously, there was some myths, truths, along the way enough that it didn't,
Starting point is 00:14:49 it was hard for her to then have it so. I mean, in really seeing that there were, there were her turning one on the today show. And she was like, you know, there were all these other things that were proven to be true, that we weren't allowed in this trial, that was allowed in the son thing, in which the son prevailed when he was doing them for defamation, whatever. But also, wasn't it that, and this is just a question, in the son one,
Starting point is 00:15:17 he wasn't able to have any witnesses, right? It was just... See, all these little things, I'm like, this is where people get mad. They're like, shut up. Oh yeah, I'm good. I'm gonna shut up, I'm gonna shut up. But I just wanna say, in general, in just seeing the kind of person she is, I think that she does exaggerate. I do think that she makes up stuff.
Starting point is 00:15:36 I do think she might believe her own lies. I do think that there were things that happened in the relationship that she believed were abusive whether it was verbal or whatever, and went extra steps to get people to believe her. And in doing those extra steps, she exaggerated lied, and then she was caught in all of that. Right. That's what I really think. And I do think that sometimes people can still be victims and still be a liar.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Right. I agree. Like I think both things can be true. can still be victims and still be a liar. Right, I agree. I think both things can be true. And it does sound like he was, I mean, you heard things from her too. So I just, I kind of thought they would just be, I really thought that Jury would be like, nobody wins, you guys both abuse each other
Starting point is 00:16:17 and we're crazy and whatever. That's kind of what I thought was gonna happen. But obviously they reached a verdict based on what they heard and saw, okay. But I just thought that if you go with the verdict and you go with the fact that he obviously felt there was abuse on his end, you know, to him, then that doesn't, I mean, there's, that's still violence and still domestic violence, right?
Starting point is 00:16:44 Right, like what if you do it to each other yeah exactly yeah clearly she did like you know hit him and everything it just i mean people are happy it's kind of over with i thought why i discussed on just a scoop is because it involved you know huge superstars gorgeous gorgeous people, big age difference, shitting in a bed, you know, alcohol drugs, like it was like interesting. Yeah, fucking juicy. So that's-
Starting point is 00:17:13 So people couldn't stop it watching. Yeah, that's why we talked about it. And then the social media aspect of it, which that, you know, they were like, did that influence the jury? Well, they weren't supposed to be influenced while they took a big week, one week off in the middle for something. Yeah. Then they had the long weekend. And even if they
Starting point is 00:17:30 didn't look at it, you're telling me you lie in bed with your spouse when no one's around and you're not going to talk about it and what the spouse thinks who also gets to see everything you saw. Yeah, I feel like it's hard and any trial anymore to believe that people aren't looking stuff up. Because she wasn't supposed to be looking stuff up either. But she referred to some things in court that were clearly going on during it. And how would you not be like, because people
Starting point is 00:17:59 were saying terrible shit about her. So how do you not? You don't want to look, you, how do you not? Yes, and then also not every trial, like normally if you would go on a trial, even if it was like kind of a high case, a high profile trial thing. It's not necessarily filmed like this.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Right. So like you'd still maybe be influenced by the outside world and you're not supposed to, but I mean, this was like literally, if you went home to John, John will have seen every single thing that you saw if he watched the whole trial. So it's like, how can, how are you really not gonna discuss it
Starting point is 00:18:34 with him? I know, I know, I'm not discussing it. And then with that, he's also getting the influences of other people. He might be watching a YouTube feed and hearing all the other comments. I feel like, if I was selected for a jury, or if I, when they were asking me questions, I go,
Starting point is 00:18:48 I'm not gonna be able to stay out of social media. I'm gonna read everything I can about it because I'm like, I don't have that confidence in myself. So I'm not a fair juror, so can I go home? I think that's great. Now, now every trial is gonna have a social media aspect, but if it does and you really don't wanna be, just be honest. Just be like, I literally could show my phone at the end of
Starting point is 00:19:09 every week. It tells me how much screen time I had. Yeah. And I'd be like, it says six and a half hours. Yeah, do you really want me on this journey? Well, I was telling you this when I walked in, the aspect that I was probably the most fascinated about is, and then we can move on, but just, I was listening you this when I walked in, the aspect that I was probably the most fascinated about is, and then we can move on,
Starting point is 00:19:27 but just, I was listening just now on Stern about, he, like, they sent someone, one of their correspondence out, and he was interviewing the women that were outside the courthouse. Yeah. That were like, one woman was like, I'm, he goes, oh, so you and Johnny Depp are an item.
Starting point is 00:19:41 She goes, I wouldn't say an item, I'd say he's my fiance, and I would say that you know she started talking about like where she went to school and how she's some sort of medical science neural I don't know she was talking about and she was like that's my jam that's what I do for a living that's my jam and Johnny loves it and he fucks me arabesque up against a against a wall. I mean, it was, yeah, they're crazy fans. There was a big pirate ship that came. And then it was like parked outside
Starting point is 00:20:12 and then they realized he isn't coming back. Like, and guess what? He's never coming back to your town. No. No, so I hope you got to see him at the courthouse. I hope you got to wave your Edward Scissor hand at him because he's not coming back to your town. He won and he's happy and thanks for your support.
Starting point is 00:20:30 And guys, girls, guys, all of us. Just we don't, he's not in love with you or what you're standing on the side of the street pretending that you have a relationship with him. It's just insane. I mean, obviously there's something going on with that lady. Yeah. And then there was another lady dressed like a big turd,
Starting point is 00:20:48 which, and she went to the court room. So again, God forbid, I just, I don't think that that she deserve to have people sitting in there mocking her and something that she was trying to tell her story. Also, but the real star is this cute Camille Vazquez who really killed it. And law firms are battling to hire her. They're, you know.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Isn't that true, Miss Herd? Yeah. I was like, I was fascinated by her delivery of everything. Yeah, when she would be like, and Amber got caught in saying, you know, no, I didn't leak the information. I wouldn't know how to do that in the next sentence. She was like, if I would have leaked it,
Starting point is 00:21:26 I know how to get more press than that. And then she's like, you just said that you didn't know how to leak information. Isn't that true, Ms. Herndt? Yeah, she was on it. If I ever get in trouble, I'd like for her to be my lawyer. Well, a lot of law firms want her.
Starting point is 00:21:41 And I hope that she just stays in law. Like just be a good lawyer, make a shit ton of money, you're not ready to go, um, don't give it up for some talk show or something. Just be that killer female lawyer for like another 20 years. Yeah. And then go do something fabulous. Yeah, don't be. Don't hop on the Hollywood train. Yeah, please. Like too quick. Yeah. thank you. Do you think she's going to? Is that your prediction? I hope not.
Starting point is 00:22:07 I just hope not, because she's pretty too. But speaking of turns, also someone sent a photo that some donut shop made like amber turds next to a donut. And it looked so much like a turn. I'm like, I could not eat a pooped turd. But Kim Kardashian said this was a slow weekend people. She said, I would do anything to stay young, including if it meant eating poop every day, I would.
Starting point is 00:22:35 Is there Senator Kim? Oh yeah, if you told me that I literally had to eat poop every single day, I would look young, I might, I just might. And then she reaffirmed it. I just might. No, thank you. Also just kind of sad a little bit.
Starting point is 00:22:49 Like you're that obsessed with being looking and staying young. You do have all the money in the world but there comes a moment where it's like there's only so much you can do and you're happy as shit, your boyfriend's 28, you're 42. Who knows? You guys might get married. You might have another baby via surrogate. You have, you know, your eggs frozen somewhere.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Who cares? But just, first of all, she has all the money in the world. So, and she has gotten so much work done, right? So, you don't need to eat poop, you can get all the work done. Right, and I thought you, and I thought- So, rest of us that don't have as much money as you better gonna have to resort to eating shit if that's what works.
Starting point is 00:23:29 And you even said, and her skin line looks, it's all brown packaging, and it's a nine-step program for her skincare. Because you know how she likes everything like beige, at least now she does. Now that you've got, yeah. Yeah, so we'll see, but I'm just thinking, if maybe if this statement had come out earlier,
Starting point is 00:23:52 Amber turned with so mean about Johnny being old and looking old and stuff, maybe that shit would have been, like I left you, maybe that could have been her defense. I left him a shit because Kim Kardashian said, if you eat shit, it might like you look younger. Like I was trying to be nice. Just trying to help him get some better roles. I was just trying to help out.
Starting point is 00:24:12 You know what my sister Shannon said? I didn't miss this part, but she goes, do you remember the part where Amber? I guess took a photo of Johnny he had passed out. And he had like ice cream on his shirt. She'd take a picture and send it to her friend and goes, well, this is what I'm dealing with. My sister laughing so hard, we're like,
Starting point is 00:24:29 I think about a third of all wives have like, fucking done that. And some of them put it on TikTok and post all about it. Like, no, but a lot of people, even if they don't hate their husband, but just annoyed like, really? Or they take, or they just take it maybe they don't share it with a friend but they take it because they're like I'm gonna show
Starting point is 00:24:48 you this in the morning like really yeah really think I should be attracted to you really I mean I think it's pretty awful I think it just because we have access to the phone and you know I don't think in 1985 people were like let me get a camera and take it and go to the one hour photo. And like, no, but it's just so simple to just be like, I may share this, I may not, I may just delete it tomorrow when I realize I was being at five. If I see someone using their feet to scroll a TV screen on a plane, I take a photo of those feet, I leave their face out of it,
Starting point is 00:25:22 but I put it right up on. I know you have the thing about the feet. Yeah, well, it's gross. I leave their face out of it, but I put it right up on. I know you, you have the thing about the feet. Yeah. Well, it's gross. I agree. I agree. Have you ever had a foot come through? I've seen like you're sitting in the chair and it's like, I mean, I would lose my shit. I would go. I see another people post that, but I like Mike Tyson punching that guy on the airplane would have nothing on what I would do if someone's foot came crawling around the corner at me on a seat. I've seen photos of it happen.
Starting point is 00:25:50 I know. Because it happens to you. No, but I've seen the foot scrolling thing. Now, you didn't witness that. I did witness that. I actually witnessed it finally. And I think I posted it. I didn't say anything to the person.
Starting point is 00:26:02 So it's really like the screen is up there and they're just like that. Using their foot to scroll and listen, no comments, they had arms and they could use their arms. I saw them doing things with their arms. It wasn't like, it wasn't like they were using their feet because they had to. They were just doing it because instead of leaning forward, they just decided to put their foot up on the screen and then the next person goes and they touch that screen. That's why you always wiped down the screen.
Starting point is 00:26:27 I agree, but I also think like if you were in like an RV or something and you were like in the little bed area and that was your watching viewing situation and you started to do that yourself. I think that's fine and it kind of makes sense. Like you're laying down your foot's there. But on a plane, where other people, I think sometimes people just forget. Like I sometimes tell my kids, like we are not alone.
Starting point is 00:26:51 Like one time we went at this hotel room and then they just started to like fight, like one jumped on the other one's bed and it was like, get up and bed loser! And they're like, like so giant now. And I'm like, you guys realize like, there's like people on either side, like they could call security. And I'm like, you guys realize, like people on either side, they could call security. They could literally, you're so loud.
Starting point is 00:27:09 And so I think sometimes people just have to be reminded, we are not in our backyard, we are not alone. Like, there's cameras everywhere, every second. Put your Trader Joe's cart back, okay? Put your cart back. Put your camera back. Thank you. Pick up your trash. Okay, oh be pleasant to everyone. Yes. Thank you
Starting point is 00:27:29 Clear your your tray when you're eating at Chipotle Yeah, someone's gonna recognize you and go that's Sarah Clona and she didn't put away But I know you would but I do say that I'm like come on. Yeah, you're not you the people It's gotten worse like people just forgotten how to be in bed because of COVID But on airplanes especially I've wished that they could I wish my dream is that they would let me record an in-flight video for At least Delta. Oh, oh just like don't yeah don't put your fucking nasty feet on a screen that someone's then gonna use
Starting point is 00:28:01 Don't put them on a food a tray where going to put their food. Keep your shit together. Don't go to the bathroom in your socks, because that's not water on the floor of the bathroom. I have a really good idea. Okay. Do you remember when Virgin had their airline? Yes. And they had that cute guy. He was, oh god, his name was, he got in some trouble later on,
Starting point is 00:28:21 but at this time he hadn't been canceled. And he was like, cute, cute dancer from like Vine or something. Anyway, I did some little commercial with him for it, and I got some free flights. But it was that video that he would do a song and it was like dancing about the safety, like put on your thing. And you know, remember, put it on your face first and your child said, I think you have to do it as a song. Well, I think a song about it.
Starting point is 00:28:48 It's called Y'all motherfuckers are nasty. I sing a song about it when I get ready, when I prepare for my flight. But just to yourself? Oh, yeah, I usually put up my Instagram for the people. Okay, yeah, like I think, listen. I don't think they would let me record that, necessarily. Songwriters that want to get together with sarah and do a little something
Starting point is 00:29:08 then that could be fun and then see if a real legit airline wants to do it that's trying to be funny like a frontier something yeah or southwest tries to be funny southwest you got it welcome got you to hopefully someone's listening to david san there both blonde out he was seen going to the cheesecake factory in the Grove with Saint West. Oh.
Starting point is 00:29:29 So he is full step dead mode. Now what's the custody battle? What's the latest? He has now fired his fifth attorney. OK. Or the attorneys have quit. So. Camille Vasquez is available.
Starting point is 00:29:44 So I think Kanye's, I would imagine Kanye would be a very difficult client that once you tell him what to do, that they go off, they think they know better, they go and talk to another person, get an opinion of another person, go back, yell at their lawyer and be like, you know what, you should be doing and they're like, you know what, dude, here's the rest of your retainer, like I'm done. So that's happened a lot. And it's trying to get full. I don't know this.
Starting point is 00:30:10 He's not trying that, right? Cause that would be, I mean, that's, I don't really know what the gripe is about, but it's just not done. Right. So she's a little bit of a... Well, that's not gonna help her case. Oh, also, also on some interview, she said,
Starting point is 00:30:24 they said, how did you guys really get together? And she said, after I kissed him in the sketch, where we were all out in her whatever, I felt a little vibe. And I heard all about this B-D-E, big dick energy. And I was D-T-F down down to fuck and so I called it like you weren't gonna say it and then you just said it and you went to the producers and they said can I get his number and then she said Megan Fox said is this really real when they started to date and she goes
Starting point is 00:30:59 yeah she goes you know he asked me for your number like a few months ago and she was like no way no there's no way he would ever give me the few months ago. And she was like, no way, no. There's no way you would ever give me the time of day. And then she's like, yeah, I could see why someone would think that, but at this point in my life, I was like, well, let me just try something new. Exactly what happened. She saw her sister with a skinny tattooed guy
Starting point is 00:31:18 and was like, let me just try something new. And that's it. So I mean, you know, people like, how do your kids feel that you say DTF and BDE? And I'm like, well, she also has a sex tape. Like they're going to know everything and they're not going to care. They've grown up in this world. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:31:35 And they got to go to the greatest restaurant ever with their new step daddy, Cheesecake Factory. I like that they keep it real and go to the cheesecake factory. Do you think they don't take reservations at Cheesecake Factory? Do you think they just gave them a little buzzer. Do you think, you know, they don't take reservations that cheesecake factory. Do you think they just gave them a little buzzer or do you think they were like, we'll get you a table, Pete Davidson. I would love to believe that he had a way with a buzzer,
Starting point is 00:31:54 but I think they probably are like, we'll get Pete Davidson a table just because, you know, there's gonna be, but also maybe they want him standing outside with his buzzer because then people see Pete Davidson at cheesecake factory and maybe they go, oh, I was going to have Chili's tonight instead of me at the cheesecake factory because maybe I'll write into somebody. Speaking of cheesecake factory, my kids went there this past week when we were gone. And Drake was very disappointed because he went to the cheesecake factory with his grandmother
Starting point is 00:32:17 San Diego. And according to him, said it was the best cheeseburger he's ever had his entire life and was completely back on board to go to cheesecake factory. Brought his cousins there because my sister's kids were staying while we went on the boat and went to the Wylonyl's cheesecake factory and got the exact same thing on the menu. I said, you're sure? And he said, it was not good at all. And I said, listen, it's not a McDonald's.
Starting point is 00:32:43 There's going to be human human even though it's a franchise there's gonna be human error that's gonna be a better cook there's gonna be someone that did something wrong that when it came out to you wasn't the way i wanted it right that's true it's not just uh... man you know what you know i forget but what i'm right exactly so it's not automatic hopefully it tastes the same meanwhile though conier still dating what's her name cheney cheney cheney I'm not sure if she's a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or a dog or dog or a dog or Yeah, and then like a big leather jacket in the heat. The Jubilee happened in England.
Starting point is 00:33:28 And the youngest son is four. He's the third youngest. There's, well, who's the oldest one? This is Little Louis. Is he doing this? Yeah, I watched the videos. The mom was like, can you stop that? And he's like, it was like, this is like an old fashioned thing.
Starting point is 00:33:46 Like, I don't think I've ever even seen anyway, as a mother of three. In the English thing. Yeah, as a mother of three, 100%. Your younger kids are wilder. They don't give a shit. You don't insist that they act as well behaved as the older. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:02 And he knows it, and I loved every second of it. I so did everybody else but like if we had to sit through some boring thing like this and Brandon was for he would have been worse than this so like I don't must just be like yeah at least you're making this entertaining for me. Yeah it was amazing. I'm sure she was probably just like oh oh god, please stop. Yeah. And then the older son was just perfect. Of course, he went with the old grandma outside. And his little haircut. Yeah, he's very prim and proper.
Starting point is 00:34:33 And then Megan and Prince Harry, I saw when they came people were booing. I mean, a couple of cheers. I was like, boo, boo. Like I was like, boom, boom. Like it was like, it wasn't. And then they did not stay for the Jubilee pageant. They got back, left early, and got back on a private jet, back to want to Ceto, to then talk about the environment.
Starting point is 00:34:58 So they, but I'm almost surprised they even went, right? They, yeah, they went. And I mean, it's it's this point isn't it like why should we go like it's just to put you Now you're gonna have people booing you you're to I mean I guess because obviously because it's this grandma But I mean I think he says grandma and he wanted to and then I think it was probably after the booze and stuff She was like let's just get the fuck out of here like this is just to be the next to Oprah We don't need to do this. We don't need to do this. We don't need to do this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:27 Yeah, she can play Camille Vasquez in the movie. Yeah. I'm sure that half did. Yeah, she doesn't do that. She already played a lawyer. Isn't that was, or was that not what she was doing? No, she did suit. She did something at suits.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Yeah, you're right. I don't know if she was a lawyer and never watched the show. But anyway, they got back on their jet. You know, they have all these projects that no one has seen or heard. So good luck to them. Real housewives is the ultimate girls trip. It's all ex housewives. And they it's coming up and they go to Derinda's house in the Berkshires. And it looks pretty messy. Is it, okay, is it just like a special or is it a full? It's like, no, it's like a five episode thing of like one long weekend of hell.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Okay, you know I don't really watch the real housewives, but I'll watch this. This is like summer house for the real housewives. Yeah, and this is Taylor. She looks very different there, but she gets into it with, where the hell is Brandy? I can't tell anyone's face anymore. Oh, this is Brandy. Oh, okay. Yeah, she gets in it, gets into it with Brandy, and it's a lot of
Starting point is 00:36:31 screaming and yelling and drunkenness. So I think it'll be pretty fun. What would you do if they invited you to come out for a weekend for that? I absolutely, I mean, I would. Like, I, I'm, it'd be fun. Yes. But it's also very weird, like, because like, these fights just have to happen. So it's like someone's going to try to like start a fight. But yeah, and you don't want to be involved. Do you want any shard in it?
Starting point is 00:36:57 Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, I'm down for like, you know, preparing. I definitely, I see why they overpack though. Cause you're on TV. You wanna have a lot of options. Right, that's true. That's not just a girl's weekend, you know? Well, I think about that all the time with below deck,
Starting point is 00:37:13 cause they always come on with these big, giant suitcases. Yeah. They'll be there for two days. But also they might have been staying a week prior to getting on the boat. True. And then we're at, how are they supposed to not bring their bags? And they love that, because then they're like,
Starting point is 00:37:27 look at these assholes. Yeah, so it's like pack all that you want, because we can make fun of you. Yeah, and then I was watching it, the sailing one, and the girls like, this fucking sucks. I can't believe we paid 60,000 for this for two days. Oh, really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:44 I was just watching that one last last maybe I'm not caught up. No, and they were like asking for a lot of drinks, but they're one person short. And they're like, sorry, we're one person short. And I kind of get it. They're like, well, how's that our fault? Like sorry, like this sucks that you're one person short. Like I've got to wait like 30 minutes and then I get like a warm bloody Mary. Yeah. Someone on your juicy scoop said that that guy had on the group, on the group page said that guy Marco has a restaurant in downtown LA and I didn't know that. And now I want to go.
Starting point is 00:38:11 Oh, the main chef. The chef from the healing. Yeah, he's a good chef. And then no one ever complains about his food. Never happens. It's never that. Let's go. Let's have a four a double date.
Starting point is 00:38:21 OK. And then also I saw something that someone posted that, the person that's always casting for this said, look, we're looking for a group vaccinated, all this stuff, ready to go. Between these dates of like June and July, but you might not end up going, but you'll be the backup group
Starting point is 00:38:45 if another group like gets sick or gets COVID or whatever because we have to film. And then you would be able to go for free. Not for me obviously, but if there was like a younger group that could like, at a drop of a hat go, right, like feel like don't have responsibilities or jobs or whatever, I don't know. But they probably, they still have to be better to be exciting and interesting. But I thought that's pretty good because I always was like, God, just spend that kind of money for two days is what makes me insane. Like that is just too much.
Starting point is 00:39:16 And then you said you have to leave the tip, right? Like the show doesn't help you with that. Right. So I think when she said 60,000, I think she was calculating a $20,000 tip and a $40,000 fee. Right. So I think when she said 60,000, I think she was calculating a $20,000 tip and a $40,000 fee. Okay. And then I mean, so what are you getting? It feels, I mean, I'm sure it's a lot more expensive than that. You're getting out of like getting to be on TV right. And getting to do this thing. But it's like they always come off. They make you look so bad. That's why I think you're having trouble finding people. And some people go back and do it a second time and then act worse.
Starting point is 00:39:47 I know. They don't mind. I think they think it's funny. Yeah. I think I like I guess that's the ultimate sign of a rich person like I my reputation doesn't matter. I can just be a dick. Right.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Yeah. Yeah. I always think it looks like it would be fun. I don't want to have too many drinks and then I was I was watching Real House was of Atlanta last night. There were a couple interesting things. Well, the first was this one woman goes, I know about your husband too, I got all the juice.
Starting point is 00:40:14 It was so juicy or something. And then she's like, you're gay. And he goes, what? I'm gay? She's like, yes, look at this text that some little assistant wrote me. He wrote, Dennis and Drew's baby daddy. Husband, I got more scope on him too, but she said scoop. I just wanted to say like, juicy scoop is like an everyone's vernacular,
Starting point is 00:40:35 but it is spelled scoop, not scope. Yeah, I had to take a photo of that, just people know. Well, so, wait, but how does she think that this means he's gay? Just because this gay guy told her that he was gay. Oh, you know, that's, there's this like, there's this gay guy that's an assistant to both. That is just so thirsty and just trying to infiltrate his way into being talked about. He knows he's going to lose his job in the end being their assistant. He told one lady, um, sure she doesn't pay me being her assistant.
Starting point is 00:41:05 And then, and then when Drew goes, I heard that you don't pay the assistant, then Sherry goes, well, the assistant told me that your husband's gay. So it's like, why don't you guys just fire this fucking assistant? It's horrible.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Yeah, it sounds like that's not a great assistant to have. Yeah. I'm going to grab a drink. And, but what I want to tell you about is this girl, Candy, she has an MLM of pleasure toys and stuff. A multi-love marketing where you sell a bunch of dildos and then you get women to sell dildos under you. And so... This is the best way anyone's ever described in a balance game to me. Her. Yeah, MLL.
Starting point is 00:41:45 MLL. Yeah, multiple, multiple, multiple, wait, multiple, multiple, multiple high level marketing. So you're the head dildo lady. And then you have a party,
Starting point is 00:41:54 then you're like, hey, Sarah, I heard you might know some horny bitches. I have a great way to be in, you know, to make your own money, make your own hours, host a party at your house in vital friends, all do a demonstration, and then, you know, you'll get a bunch of stuff.
Starting point is 00:42:14 That's a demonstration, I don't want to see you do a demonstration. I don't want to see anyone do a demonstration. Well, I don't know that I'll like really do it, but I'll explain it. Bring a little like plastic. Yeah, and then they can be. Blow up dollars nothing and then they can also by start a kit and be like a consultant themselves. Okay. So canis does a million things she writes you know I don't want no scrubs scrubs that she's
Starting point is 00:42:37 a songwriter she's done plays she's done all this stuff so they go to go see her play which is supposed to be good but she wants to also push her product. Yeah. And so she goes, okay, tonight you guys, everyone has to wear these panties. And in the panties is a little pocket. And you put this little vibrator in the pocket. And then somebody else in the group gets your controller,
Starting point is 00:43:02 so they can press and zing you all night long and you won't be able to control your own glee. And so at the play? While they're going to the play, yeah, this is what they have to do. And the play is like a serious play. It's called Thoughts of a Colored Man that's about black men each describing a different emotion from their point of view. And like they came out and they're like I was gonna cry like it was so emotional and great but then I came instead I mean which is another emotion yeah that's true there you go I mean
Starting point is 00:43:36 no she was before the play surely she didn't have them doing that is that with each other they were running late so they would have to go in the bathroom and like take it off or whatever so then they all get in this sprinter van, and she's like, does everyone have their panties on? And one woman was like, canny, I love you, but the sex stuff's too much. And she goes, and canny, you and your husband you've been in a minute are not having that much sex.
Starting point is 00:43:58 And canny's like, canny to these faces. She's like, okay, whatever. So, a couple of most of the girls do come, they, you know, I knew the assignment, they did it, you know. But then what they didn't realize is that one remote, almost like, like sometimes if a garage door opener could open like your neighbors garage back in the day, like it's too close, you know?
Starting point is 00:44:22 So, like literally, they're like, why does like so and so's husband have the remote to me? Like that's not cool and a couple of the girls are single and they're like, I don't know that I want like other, but they just like- Oh, the guys had it too? Yes, they all mixed up the remote. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:44:38 The point is though, people that were even pressing the matching remote, they were still all getting zing. It sounded awful, it sounded itchy, it sounded uncomfortable. It does sound itchy. And I don't, yeah, I don't think I'd want John like zapping someone else's vagina with a remote like, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:44:57 Right, I mean, it's not appropriate. No. Or even like a girl part, like, sometimes like these shows get desperate, you know? And they're like, okay, you guys, we're gonna have an SNM sex party but it's just them it's all the girls like the last season they did this they had this guiding polo come whose uh penis was like the size of my entire calf I'm not kidding you know I have small calves just imagine this is very long yeah but this literally literally wasn't the size of his,
Starting point is 00:45:26 so then a couple girls boned him. And I'm like, oh my God, can't you just go to like a spa and like the wine country? So when you say, do you wanna go on one of these trips? I'm like, I don't know, I don't want my vagina zapped. And I don't wanna- And now I'm really rethinking the catalytic wine mix for next year, because I don't know what you're gonna come up with on that boat
Starting point is 00:45:47 Exactly Now we have a new segment here at GC scoop. It's called camel toe news. Oh This is exactly I had I had Annie make the C-shit at camel and then see the background is an actual toe, which is where it comes from so last night at the TV movie awards, a thing that's happening in fashion right now is a lot of camel toe type of stuff. It's almost in. And even at formal events, they're wearing like a one piece bathing suit and then just like a netting underneath.
Starting point is 00:46:24 So you see Vag cleavage you see camel toes you see it all this is this there was a photo that was a little bit worse but you can see part of her badges out this is um ouriana from Vanderpump they just yeah it was just not good um every time I see something like that because I've seen this a lot lately, and I'm like, I would look so terrible in all of this. And then, yeah, the fear is, I was not Jessica Simpson? No.
Starting point is 00:46:51 Oh. That's a Southern girl from Summer House, but she's again wearing... Oh, that's fucking Lindsay. That's just a, I've got a bathing suit with a mesh over. But I, Lindsay, I had, I looked at that first. That's page from Summer House, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:04 So she did another like one piece underneath her thing. And then now listen. I honestly don't know. I guess, I guess this is true because it's for men that I guess want to either dress as women or be women or whatever. And they're like spanks. As you can see, they have little hips on either side, but then they actually made a vagina for the men that you can wear. Okay. And you can put one of a candy's little vibrating toys in there. And you can maybe do that. And it might be so strong that you feel it down to your... That doesn't seem like something anyone needs but ripman pop of james dj james kennedy has a new girlfriend she's very
Starting point is 00:47:51 cute they dress normal teddy got was like jumped on this bandwagon of like when someone says something negative about your body and then you're like i love it you know and that everyone's like we. Okay, so she's got a great body, Teddy Malon Camp, who's on John Cougars' daughter, and she was on... Beverly Hills?
Starting point is 00:48:12 Yeah. So she went in this very cute little pink like she out that kind of like a dancing with stars out of it. And in one of her photos, then someone said, I guess people thought that she shouldn't wear that because she's a little say like on the back of her legs. Exactly. And so then she did a big thing like, she wrote, for anyone messaging me that I shouldn't
Starting point is 00:48:33 have worn this dress to the MTV Awards because you can see my cellulite, guess what? I'm proud of it. And most of us have it. Let's normalize the reality. I work hard for my mental and physical body to feel good. And then she goes, and for those messaging, me and that the outfit looks like I'm auditioning for Dancing With The Stars,
Starting point is 00:48:49 you aren't wrong. Of course you'd love to be on Dancing With The Stars. And this might have just sealed the deal. It might have, because then she can be enticed. But everyone does have cellulite, by the way. I know, and also in this day and age, it's all about like, if you don't have a flaw in your body, then you're not even popular.
Starting point is 00:49:07 It's more, or should have like, it's because you have so much money, like Kim Kardashian, you can have it like, remove from, do, lift it, huh? Yeah, she has to, right? You know, doesn't have cellulite is Lisa Reddus. She's in a black cat suit. That looks good, I like her outfit.
Starting point is 00:49:23 Bethany, Brankle went with her little daughter Doreet this is just what's that situation is that some of the netting lagging that's a netting again it's the netting letting leggings again crystal I miss show up in bathing everybody wore really weird time I do really weird stuff and then all the sell the selling sunset people were the selling sunset people were there. And G Flip was there with Krishel. Right.
Starting point is 00:49:50 Is that their first big public? Yeah, but they didn't like to red carpet together. They went one after the other. And I always notice that G Flip, that's Krishel's from selling since this girlfriend, non-binary girlfriend. It's always like this. You have to spread out your legs and be like, I've noticed a lot of people are doing photos like this
Starting point is 00:50:09 with your tongue out. Are you gonna start taking a mic? Yeah, I am. Good. As everyone says, I'm so sick of the way you pose. Okay, get ready for open, crotch shots, tongue, and gang member things. And wearing like a, just a tankini.
Starting point is 00:50:26 Yeah, and I'm gonna work just a netting bottom to a wedding. Anyway, they all dress very skimpy and someone was like all the selling sunsets and people were like, do you think their clients, like do they even care about selling houses? Anyone like, no, they don't. Their TV stars believe me.
Starting point is 00:50:43 Yeah. I've been a realtor and I've been on a TV show. It is a lot more fun to be on a TV show. Right, and if you can just be a realtor on a TV show, and then probably, I'd best of fucking two worlds, let me tell you. Like, I feel like, was it open timer? Is that the thing?
Starting point is 00:51:00 Yeah. They obviously actually do do really well. And then, I mean, at this point, yeah, it's like whoever, if they're selling houses or not or they're like, whatever, I'll sell one. But then, just, just like, for Shell and G Flip and the little Jason, they were all hugging and parting and having a blast at it.
Starting point is 00:51:19 Okay, then JLo, did you hear about JLo speech? No, but she looks good in the stress. It was pretty great. What did she say? It's one of those speeches. You know how like, um, how this is like a very viral thing of a stoop dog at 1.1 an award. And it was like, and the person I'd like to thank the most is myself. For getting up every day, for not working, for dead of that.
Starting point is 00:51:41 And then I see like a lot of people like do that. It's like, yeah. Kind of a unique, very unique speech. She kind of had a good moment last night. She got her award for writing the best song or something, but I don't even think I've heard the song on the radio. Yeah, I don't think I know. So and then she said, I want to thank all of you that got me here. All of those who loved and supported me, all of those who broke my heart, all of those who told me the truth and the ones that lied to me and did it because without all the bad, I wouldn't be here.
Starting point is 00:52:12 If everybody was good to me, I wouldn't be this successful. Like I'm this successful because these bad things happened and I, you know, so I knew I thought that was good. I like it. I find the win and award, which I'd like to. Okay. Maybe an Emmy. How do you thought about it?
Starting point is 00:52:29 Yeah, I would like. I love coming up with Emmy speeches. I'd like to believe that I would also go like my fuck you list. The little bit. Yes. And like read off like a casting director who was super mean to me when I first moved here. And like, oh, it actually called their names out?
Starting point is 00:52:46 Yeah. Oh, I mean, I know whatever. It's a fantasy. I'm not saying I really do it, but I wish that I could. Okay, well, what's crazy is while I was drunk at the Ketley-Noir mixer and having fun, I swear. I thought about like if some great thing happened and I either had to do a speech or an
Starting point is 00:53:06 Instagram post about like good news in my career, I was literally thinking of writing something like this. I was literally going to be like, I was thinking and then the next morning I was like, how the year was so drunk, I can't believe it was thought, I mean, I was just in my head, so who cares? But you know when you're sometimes just like on a high, yeah. I was thinking like if I said I'd be like Yeah. I was thinking like if I said I'd be like, thank you. Thank you to everybody seven years ago that was not casting me anything in anything, told me like nobody wants me anymore,
Starting point is 00:53:33 like no one called me, because without you, thank you for not giving me a bunch of specials. Thank you for saying, like, if you had, I wouldn't have had to work so hard on this. And it wouldn't, juicy scoop wouldn't be where it is today. So thank you. Thank you for, thank you, Hollywood, for never noticing me or giving a shit about me.
Starting point is 00:53:52 See, I don't think it's weird to have that fun. I think it's weird to actually execute it. Execute it. Yeah. And I think to go further and to actually think that I'm going to call out the names, that's a more crazy thought. Well, also because whoever that awful cast on your director is fucked that guy.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Probably not in the business anymore. Certainly doesn't remember you and wouldn't even care. So why would you even waste the 10th of a second saying the name? You know my other fantasy? Yes. As to get like a TV show, not like a TV show, to get a television show that I write, which obviously I've tried to do a TV show, not like a TV show, to get a television show that I write,
Starting point is 00:54:25 which obviously I've tried to do a few times, but to actually get one to where we're making it, and have that casting director in to interview him to be the casting director. What did this guy do? Let's just hear what he did. How bad was it? It was so mean. It was a loss. It was, I won't say what the show it was, just because then people could put together what I will say his name when I
Starting point is 00:54:47 When they weren't I want to say the show that was in the works 15 years ago But I will say his name now, okay, yes, I went to it was like one of my first kind of like decent auditions and it was pouring rain and Obviously, I don't really have the hair for rain, but it was windy as well. And I did have an umbrella. I know it was like the one horrible weather. Yeah, it was like 20 years ago when I used to rain here. Or yeah, the one day. And you know how it is. They don't it's not like you get the park right outside the door. The parking is always in a horrible ordeal. It was on like Sony Sony or something and I had to park at the very front and walk
Starting point is 00:55:29 Like a mile and whatnot to get to this cast and directors office. I was fucking soaking wet and so was everyone else and That was the comment that they gave my agent which was what we didn't even we didn't I didn't even pass her audition on because She just like her She just looked like the wind just blew her in and I'm like the wind did fucking blow me in because you guys wouldn't come pick me up And it goddamn golf cart and I was you know traipsing across Sony and and then I was like And I mean I got myself together as best I could it's not like I went and looking like a drowned rat You know what I mean? I went in the bathroom. I fixed myself up as best I could. It's not like I went and looked like a drowned rat. You know what I mean? I went in the bathroom. I fixed myself up as best I could, but he was just like just an asshole and he just- And he was an asshole during the read. He was. Yeah, I could tell right away
Starting point is 00:56:13 that he was just like, oh, and I'm like, oh, I mean everyone in the lobby looks the same by the way. We're all like drenched, you know, in whatever, not drenched, but- Right. Well, you can tell we've been in the rain and walking across here in the wind and the blow of life. And then I was like, and I thought he gave a pretty good audition. I mean, who knows? It's probably on Teo. If I ever said his name, he'd probably release the audition.
Starting point is 00:56:34 I'd be like, oh, never mind. I'm sure he saved it all these years. But yeah, but I know. I have a really, obviously, real beef with this situation. But what bothered me was that I was like, I just signed with this agent, and so they make it seem like I'm irresponsible or this and that, and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:56:52 that's not, it's storming out. When you call me, it's storming outside your office. Like you know what's going on, and then I said, well, what did you say about my acting? And they were like, nothing, he said he wasn't gonna pass it on, and I'm like, but I didn't go there. For a fucking hair commercial.
Starting point is 00:57:09 I went there for an audition. So like, how was my acting? Nobody cared. I think, I am going to say his name. I am. I once had, I went to it on your issue once. And I once had the cast director go, OK, this, it's just all too much. You have too much makeup on, you're too much this,
Starting point is 00:57:28 this is not what we're looking for. Oh my God. But I was like, I was kind of a vain person, so even when the things called for a planer person, I wasn't comfortable going as plain as I should. So I actually thought, even though it like made me feel shitty, I kinda thought the honesty is kinda good. The honesty is good, but I think again,
Starting point is 00:57:50 there's a way to say it, right? There's a way, you don't have to go, okay, this. Like, I think you honestly have like a weird love hate with your hair. Because in some ways, I enjoy my hair. I think it's beautiful. Everyone really loves your hair, and your hair is like, you know, people
Starting point is 00:58:06 benching at every time. But then there's so many. There's so many stories that you've told me where you feel like the hair is betrayed you. You know what? Someone wasn't a fan of the hair. Well, I think that at times that when you have like big curly hair and you come in to read for like a lot like people don't, they have everything so stereotypical in their life, whereas it's not a lawyer. Yeah, but as if like,
Starting point is 00:58:32 there's no real task was here. It's not she does have good hair, but they, but it's like, but there are people with curly hair that do that. I don't understand like that I'm making this a weird beef. I just think I just think I just think it's something to be focused on. Okay, you guys Shakira's boyfriend baby daddy of 12 years allegedly cheated on her and she broke up with him. He his name is Gerard
Starting point is 00:58:58 PK. Peek. I don't know. And they have their now it's their separating after being together for over 10 years and I mean Oh children they have more than one. Yes, okay and at the same time her dad is like dying. It was really sad And so he so that's what you heard is that he cheated Yes, I hadn't heard the reason you know like almost like she walked in on them or something and found what was up so Like almost like she walked in on them or something and found what was up. So walking in on someone, that's some lifetime movie shit. And I would I would react the way that they do in lifetime movies, which is to kill the person or or you can say, you know what we can do is we
Starting point is 00:59:40 can get on a TLC show called Seeking Sister Wife. And we can make that girl our sister wife. This show is back and I saw a preview of the weirdest, most disturbing couple, they are back, okay? Oh, this guy from last season. Garek, not a fan. Garek and his wife have, I think, one or two kids, one or two boys, one or two boys.
Starting point is 01:00:05 And she was very uncomfortable with the fact that last season they were pursuing Roberta, who was like 30s, five, and... They went to Mexico and banged in Cabo or something. Had a really good body, also had braces, like full mental braces. But I just hated that they called Roberta Bert a bird. Actually, he never called her a bird a bird. She, the original wife, called her bird. I'm so excited that birds coming. Yeah, maybe she- Like she'd look, she'd
Starting point is 01:00:35 act like she was happy and then they would just hold on her longer to just get that uncomfortable like, so great for having us as to fly. And then you just see tears, like the farm. Yeah. Yeah So in this the preview that I saw Now they're looking for a third wife Roberta is there. Oh she is there. She is there and they're going to bail Yeah, they're gonna break it to her that they're looking for a third wife Which is why all of these sister wife groups that I've followed because I really do love the show and it's probably extremely fake now because usually by a third season it is. But is they want the third wife so that when the husband is off with one, the other one at least has a friend.
Starting point is 01:01:17 Right. So it's like this will help with the balance. It's better to have three wives than two. The family, the plural families work to have three wives than two. The family, the plural families work better with three wives versus two. So that the one is not just left sitting on the edge of the bed by yourself, right? Yes, and in. They can go have brunch or something always. And actually, oh my God, I never knew math would matter so much in plural marriage. But in the other show, sister wives,, the same thing with Sister Wives.
Starting point is 01:01:45 They had Cody, Cody had Mary, then they asked, oh God, I can't remember, whatever, number two, second wife, too. And they had a very, those two women hating each other, the dynamic was awful. Intel, third wife Christine, happy Christine came in. And then the four of them lived happily, did a couple of the first seasons of sister wives, and then he found Robin. And then once Robin came in, she was younger, she was cuter, she brought a couple kids,
Starting point is 01:02:22 and because he had to adopt her kids for like medical reasons or whatever so they could have insurance He made wife number one legally divorce them so that he's only married to wife number four The family never recovered. You cannot have a fourth wife. No, you can't have two wives You have to have three has to be party of four. It's easier to get reservations It's easier. It's easier to get reservations. It's easier. It is easier to get reservations. You can't get two hotel rooms. You can't get tickets to a ballgame. You know, like, five tickets. What about, but wait, also the divorcing part, couldn't, didn't, they do that too, didn't get it and this,
Starting point is 01:02:59 didn't they have to get a divorce that he should be getting? She had it, you're right. Because for her green card or something. Yeah, to get a green a green. So it was like because Roberta was an American, it was like this show was like seeking, it was like seeking sister wives plus a little 90 day fiance action. So we had to deal with it across over getting the green card. You know, now who knows if the Roberta ever had her baby, but you want to have another baby.
Starting point is 01:03:20 And so they're like Roberta's not going to like it. And then she's so happy because she's like, mm, now she knows what it feels like. But in the end of the Brown family, Christine left, wife number three left. Wife number three left, but one stayed. One is just like, they have no relationship, but she's like, I don't have a lot going on in my life.
Starting point is 01:03:42 So I'm just gonna still say say and she sells those leggings. No, she sells that other those leggings that was in the news. Lula Roo. Oh, she sells those. Okay. And then the other girls, a real estate person, and she's staying because she just was like, I don't care. I just like want to have a gardener garden and sell real estate.
Starting point is 01:04:03 I don't really code anyway. So, and then Robyn stayed with Cody and then Christine laughed and she got her own cooking show on the internet, on Facebook or something, through TLC. Well good, I'm glad she got out of there because that's too many people. But it's back, you guys, and I can't wait. But I do think sometimes he shows, like,
Starting point is 01:04:23 even this feels a little like, are they really looking for her? And so they found this girl in California who's a nurse. She's a really pretty black girl. And so she's gonna, they're gonna be like, let's see, she was in plural marriage before. I'm like, there's no way this woman is doing this because she really wants to get with Garrett.
Starting point is 01:04:41 No way. She wants to be. She wants to be with people. He's so creepy to me. He's the grossest. Yeah, every time he says something, I'm She wants to be a people. He's so creepy to me. He's the grossest. Yeah. Every time he says something, I'm like, I don't trust you.
Starting point is 01:04:48 I don't believe you. I don't think you're doing this for any other reason other than you just want to be extra people. Right. This girl, Real House, has a Miami shoes married to a plastic surgeon. And they live in a $52 million mansion. He filed for divorce because he got a girlfriend. And now he's saying I need the court to kick my wife out of the $52 million mansion because our prenup says that if either one of us filed for divorce, no matter what,
Starting point is 01:05:16 she's going to have to leave the marital home. I found her a lovely place for $3.2 million. a lovely place for 3.2 million. So if you're going for 52 million, to 3.2 in Miami, that's gonna be a pretty big difference. It's a big difference, but if it's just for yourself, no, she's two little kids. Okay, but still, a couple of nannies. And two little kids living in a three million dollar home, although I guess you're right in Miami.
Starting point is 01:05:44 But now you're like, but from 54 you've been with him for 14 years. He's with like a really hot 28 year old. But. So she refuses to leave another 28 year old's just coming over and she's like, hey girl, I'm no. No, no, no, he's out of there, but he's like, you need to get out now.
Starting point is 01:06:02 The house's mine, our prenup always said that. Oh, the prenup does say that. And now she's digging her, you need to get out now. The house is mine. Our prenup always said that. Oh, the prenup does say it. And now she's digging her five-inch heels in and being like, no, no, no. Yeah, I mean, that's why I mean, you do have to have a prenup so that it can fit. And you got another rules. And you know what, if you don't like the prenup
Starting point is 01:06:19 or what she should have done is she cheated once and she talked all about it on the show, an emotional cheating what you need to do in those situations where a lot of money that steaks and you really don't like him anyway but you're sticking together hoping that you're like you probably won't work out is you got to get the post-knop then you rearrange it and you're like
Starting point is 01:06:38 fit down and you're like he cheated he's awful i'm willing to stay but i'm not gonna stay with this old pre-knop for fourteen years ago right i. I need a reward. Now that we have this much money, I want to know that like with each year I get this much more. I get this property. He can keep that one. I get this one. And if he cheats again, then I get a bonus too. Yeah. I would renegotiate that. I don't have a pre-napped. That's good. Yeah. I told John all the time. Don't fuck up. You don't have a pre-napped. I'll take half your shit. I'll't have a prenup. That's good. Yeah, I tell John all the time. Don't fuck up. You know what I'm a prenup. I'll take half your shit. I'll still say half those base two
Starting point is 01:07:09 owns a couple of independent league baseball teams. I'll show up right at those meetings every day. Hi, I'm part owner. No, you know what you'll know. It's like that my favorite scene from Mommy Dearest after he dies and she thinks she's gonna like run Pepsi Like she married Joan Crawford buries this guy who's like the and she comes in and a hat And I remember I saw the scene at like nine and my mom's like what do you want to do? I'm like I want to run a company and have a hat and walk in like Joan Crawford and that's when she goes Don't fuck with me And it's like the greatest.
Starting point is 01:07:45 It's like all these men and suits, and she comes in here and she's like, I'm the face of this company. And like, that one of those big rounds. Yes, just like, oh. Well, you can do that, so. You can do that and go and do that at baseball, or you just go in the batting,
Starting point is 01:08:01 and you're like, who is this curly head person? And the wind just throw her in. Because where are these teams in Portland? They have a lot of rain. Here's what in Portland. I don't think Texas, two places where there's plenty of rain. Yeah, maybe just get the Texas one. OK, yeah, there's less rain.
Starting point is 01:08:19 My hair always looks good in Texas. Humanity really does wonders for it. So that's what I would say. This wheelchair was stuffed with 23 pounds of cocaine, it's discovered in the airport. Oh, look at that. I thought that was extremely clever. It really is.
Starting point is 01:08:33 Because you need a wheelchair. And like if you're going on a plane or something, then they have to take the wheelchair with you. But I still put a wheelchair through a TSA. But I don't think they can tell if cocaine is in something, they'd only be able to tell if, but you know what? Why do they find it?
Starting point is 01:08:50 You know what, I used to get stopped all the time going through the TSA when I would have my VIP badges, because they look like little bricks of cocaine, I think in the scanner. What was it? You know my, these little VIP badges that people put on, lanyards I guess, whatever. And when they're all stacked together like in their
Starting point is 01:09:10 saran wrap like you know 100 to a thing, every time I get stopped and be like, you know, and then oh okay, I'm like it must look like cocaine bricks. But it's just you know look at this lady she's thin and from Hollywood she must do cocaine and it's like oh No, she's a sustainable comic who has mean greets What a loser you go. Yeah, well, I wonder how they discovered this I would like to know somebody was sniffing the seat I was in North Carolina and it was worth three hundred and seventy thousand dollars and then like who left it
Starting point is 01:09:44 I would have someone left it for like the person that go get it. Like that. I was like, the chair is there. Yeah. And then, why is it weird? I want to know.
Starting point is 01:09:54 And I know there's a juice scooper that has like a husband who does this or really they do it or so. So they seize it. What do they do with it? Clash it down the toilet? I mean, I think they supposedly put in an evidence room or something, right? Okay, then why?
Starting point is 01:10:07 Just leave that up. I don't know. But then what? Have a party. I don't know. Oh, let's end on Jada Pickett Smith, finally spoke. Okay, tell me what she said, because I haven't watched it,
Starting point is 01:10:20 and I want to know she did the red table. She has the red table, she got her mother there and it was just like a tiny, tiny portion of all her other shows, just threw it all there. Just wearing this like a girl white tonal act, she's so pretty, she's rocking the head, shaved head. Basically she just said,
Starting point is 01:10:43 will and I are going to do what Will and I have always done for the last 28 years. I'm gonna work through this shit. And I pray that with all the scorn on these world that these two men, because the world needs these men to come together and talk. I hope, I guess she's, that was a rotation in the red table talk.
Starting point is 01:11:10 I'm like, really, that's it. Chris Rocks, I gotta come talk to you. And why does Chris Rock have to talk at all? No, he does that. He doesn't have to talk at all. Like, it shut up. And so that was it. It was very minimal.
Starting point is 01:11:22 Did she comment on whether or not she was very upset about his show? She did a whole episode about alopecia. What's caused is it? What happens to people who have it? So she kind of did it on that episode to again remind people like Hey, I'm yeah, I have it. This is why I'm this is why he was sad. This is this was really the start of it. I don't know I Don't think people I Hope that Chris Rock doesn't consider going on there to be honest with you because it just would annoy me because it would just be like more
Starting point is 01:11:59 it's I almost like More publicity for her after he's the one that like God's slapped the crowd. I kind of think that I'm not saying that she's not I don't think that's what she's trying to do necessarily but I like I just like just shut everyone just needs to not there needs to be no more discussion about it we know what happened I just hate how they always do this always on the table so it's no so it's like that's what she makes her. When I was so in peace with my own self, and in doing this, it's just like a lot of that,
Starting point is 01:12:33 like this journey and the soul, and then it's like, oh, preach, you know, teach, preach. I think this whole thing kind of hurt their show. I don't know, that someone right me can tell me he got 20 billion views. I also think she came out a little too late with it. So I don't think she is getting it more press and I think people are just like,
Starting point is 01:12:58 they don't really care about it. I mean, she might really want them to make peace with each other and that, but like it doesn't need to be on a table talk. Like, if he wants to talk, then it just feels like, I hope it wasn't like a bait to try to get. I think like in this way, like, Chris Rockshon give Will Smith the press. Like, there's nothing for Chris Rock to gain from it. Chris Rock came out the hero. It's like, so there's no reason then to just be like, yeah, except it is apology, we're fine.
Starting point is 01:13:29 Like by having a bigger thing, but I just don't think Chris Rock is gonna gain anything from it because he handled it perfectly. So why does he have to give this other guy? And then why do this? And then again, remind people, well, the joke was kind of shitty and insensitive.
Starting point is 01:13:44 So why we'll bring it up. I just feel like why bring it up again? And, the joke was kind of shitty and insensitive. So like, why will we bring it up? Yeah. I just feel like why bring it up again and why, like, we've all kind of moved on and whatever's going on in their household about it. I'm sure that they'll be fine. Because they don't even live together. Right. Um, only fans, uh, they, they're hurting from the, to, to the economy.
Starting point is 01:14:01 Some of the people actually are going back to nursing. Oh. And, um, this i thought you find funny i like that that's that we're hurting i can't fart in a jar anymore now i have to go back to nursing okay mariah carry this is so i'm sure he's a with a twenty billion lawsuit over herself all they want for christmas is you this woman is saying I wrote one and it came out in 1989, but it got a lot of play in 1993 and then her song came out in 1994.
Starting point is 01:14:35 And mine is called all I want is Christmas. All I want for Christmas is you. I listened to it as not a similar tune, nothing. Oh, you did listen to it. For somebody's I thought was a man that said he wrote it. A man wrote it, but maybe a man wrote it, but I watched the video on a girl's scene. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:14:51 And it doesn't sound anything like that song. It's nothing like that. It's just about Christmas, and it's called All I Want For Christmas is You. And I want to say Lou Ann had a song. What was her song called? Look it up. Her is was very similar.
Starting point is 01:15:06 It's called like, I, all I want for, you know, I swear to God, it's almost like all I want for Christmas as you, but it's called something else. It's called like, just you. Anyway, what do I want for Christmas? Just you. What do I want for Christmas? Just you. That's Luanne's song.
Starting point is 01:15:24 Don't you think that's a little similar to all I want for Christmas is you. Yeah, I mean, it's just a line. It's just a saying. Yeah. But I'm like, okay, this song has been playing every Christmas for almost 20 years. Well, that's what I was wondering. I was like, why is the last time I saw you? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:39 I just heard this song the other day that sounds similarly like mine. Like, no, it's been on. There's no way you've ever avoided. You know it's been a big hit for 20 years because it's in every mall in your car, in every Starbucks, it's playing everywhere. I just feel like, do you just finally find somebody that's like, okay, I'm willing to take on this case?
Starting point is 01:15:58 I don't know. Very bizarre and good luck. Again, another job for Camille. Right, exactly. They just saw that trial and they were like, you know what? I want to win something. Wait, I'm going to be Camille. You'll be the songwriter. Okay. So let me ask you, had you ever heard the song prior to filing the lawsuit? No, no, I'd never heard it before. I just now found out about it. So you've never been
Starting point is 01:16:25 inside a mall. No, I don't know. Between the days of December 1st and December 28th. In the last 20 years, you've never stepped foot in any kind of shopping mall or store. Is that true? Are you saying that's true? I am saying it's true because I don't, I don't know if you've ever been to the mall around Christmas time. It's just like a shit show. So I don't I don't go so for 20 years You have never been outside of your home in which you might have heard the song In a store or Starbucks or a Denny's You under you are under oath right now. Let me remind you. I have I have a go Goraphobia. I can't leave the house during Christmas because... No further questions.
Starting point is 01:17:09 Shit. Yeah, yeah. Good fucking luck. Good luck. Yeah, I mean, there's, that was the one thing that I was so curious about is I was like, how does this person, is a Goraphobia not being able to leave your house by the way?
Starting point is 01:17:24 Yeah. I just make that up. Okay, I started thinking it was able to leave your house, by the way. Yeah. I just make that up. Okay. Whew. I started thinking it was a racquet of phobia, but that's spiders. Yeah. Anyway, I was wondering if this person had tried to file a suit before nobody was biting or if-
Starting point is 01:17:37 Maybe it was. I don't know, but I mean, literally, I mean, of all the songs, but it's been out so long. Yeah, forever. I've seen that other, sometimes with other songs, but it's even, but that's been like two years. And I even thought it was weird. I'm like, why wouldn't you get all of the, the moment you like heard it? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:52 Sarah, tell the good people of Chicago where they can enjoy you this weekend. Yes, please come see me at Zaini's in Chicago, June 10th through 12th, Friday Saturday, Sunday, this weekend, Zany's Chicago I think calm or saracolona.com has your tickets you know how to get tickets people. That is so great. Yes, please come see me. And you get your clutch bags? I got clutchwomen.clutchwomen.com, juicy scoopers always get 20% off with
Starting point is 01:18:18 juicy scoop all lower case. They are great for concerts and stadiums. They're approved for all of those things. Quite a level of quite a different variety now than when I started. Yes, lots of different shades and colors and sizes and fanny packs and wristlets. So do that up and then listen to our You My Podcast and discuss Married at first sight, right now Married at first sight this season just ended. We'll be doing a bit of a Marietta for site Australia. Or like a silo that have you watched that.
Starting point is 01:18:48 It is a shit show. Yeah, it's like 60 episodes or something in the same season, but it's real interesting. And yeah, please listen to that. Find out wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, girl. Thanks, girl. Thanks, girl.
Starting point is 01:18:57 Thanks, girl.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.